This Is Important - Ep 68: The Rules Of Fighting Kids As An Adult

Episode Date: January 11, 2022

Today, this is what's important:Covid, spankings, school memories, fighting children, Katt Williams, towel comedy, touring the show, the smoke-a-bowl, and more. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about

what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about Adam Devine. I fucking hate you. Look, I don't give a fuck about your McMuffin, bro. Let's get back to the guy eating his butthole. Here we go. Start your engines. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Yeah! Yeah! I can jump into this, baby. Oh, my god. Wake up. Did you guys have a Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, X-mas? Oh, yeah, dude. Holly jolly Christmas. Hell, yeah, brother. Yeah, I'm super Christian. You know that about me. Yeah, man. That's your middle name, honestly. Anders Christian Holm. So Chris cringled out. Literally. Christ is born, y'all. Rejoice. Yeah.

And Happy New Year, everybody. We are in the future. Was there any good Christmas movies that came out? I feel like I didn't see a single good. I didn't watch uh, Seth and Evans. What was that called? Christmas Inc. or something? It's like a stop animation thing that they did for HBO Max. I don't know what you're talking about. Don't know. Not sure. Well, they came out with something and it looked funny, but I did not watch it yet. Oh, you mean like a movie star and his friend who make huge movies and that still can't get like on anybody's radar? Cool. Cool industry. Yeah. We've done this to ourselves. Our faults. I'm sure it's funny. Well, guess what? I don't know if I told you guys this, but uh, I got COVID again. Say it. What? Say it. I have COVID. Again, right now,

currently I'm battling the vid. To be fair, you wanted it. You wanted it. I always, I'm like, I'm trying to get the most, most COVID in one body as possible. Wait, what do you think that is? You just had it. I just, I got it three months ago and then I just uh, let me let me re-up. What do you think the, the record is for somebody getting it like seven? I don't know. They told me that I couldn't even get the booster shot until three months has gone by after getting COVID the first time. Who's they? Yeah. The like production assistants at Joe Rogan Experience. Hold up. No, the doctor that, uh, that gave me the monoclonal. That you can't have it for three months? Yeah, it told me to wait on getting the booster. Dang. Well, you're down in Orange County too. That's

a different vibe. Well, no, I think that was the, that's what they, they were saying. You're not supposed to get it because it'll be too much COVID on COVID action is what I'm assuming. Oh, yo, I want to see that. It's science. And uh, so I don't know. So I didn't get it and, and then literally three months to the week, I got COVID again and I was supposed to get the booster shot yesterday. Damn, dude. You've got to get that booster, my rooster. Are you having a lot? That freaking sucks, dude. I'm so just like, I'm confused. I'm just like, I don't, I don't, I don't understand what's happening. Dude, it's just, you were just, we're all getting it. You're gonna get it. You're gonna get it. We're getting the feed, man. Right. So what are we

doing? Admittedly, admittedly, it was much, much better this time. The first time really kicked my ass. This time I'm like, if I, it just feels like how I felt for the last two months. Like, I've kind of had a cold for two months. Just been tired. Yeah. Yeah. Just sort of like runny nose. How'd you know? Oh, so you had a cold, you had cold symptoms and then you were like, okay. Well, I tested before I traveled. And then I tested the day I got back. And then the day I got back. Ding, dong, ding, dong, dong. Perfect. Pop goes the weasel. And I was feeling maybe a little shittier than I felt in the last couple of months, but it wasn't. Right. You know, that ain't shit, my dude. I think it's like guaranteed if you go to an airport, you're

getting the vid. You might get the COVID. Damn, that is fucked up, dude. Are you a cool guy who's like in the corner texting with like just the mask under the chin? Yeah. What's your protocol? Do you got the nose out? You got the nose out every once in a while? No, no, I'm fully, I'm masked up. Have you ever had the mask under your chin? Absolutely. Ever? Yes. Ever. Yeah. If I'm taking a drink, sometimes I might just pull that down. Take the sip. I've never had it on my chin. You're always. I'll just take it off or I'll just open it to the side if I'm going to take a drink. I love that you can be so confident that you've never once dipped the mask beneath your chin. I'm not buying that. Off the air. Well, I do. I kind of believe it from Durr's because he's

like a robot. Yeah. Like he's not. Some cyber. He's not part of the human experience like the rest of us are who just could absentmindedly just pull it down, take a sip or something, put it back. No. And I like that you pull it down with four fingers in your hand. You know how you have to face mask? Yeah. Are you like shredder revealing the scar to splinter? Yeah, dude. Nice. When I pull that, I pull it off with fours. Yeah, but still Durr's is weird like that because remember like he would like eat snacks and then we'd take like the wrappers and like fold them up into the smallest little squares. You do some robot ass shit, dude. Yeah. He's a robot. Also hasn't caught COVID yet. The fact

that. That means I'm a nerd though. Well, if you haven't gotten COVID, you're a nerd. Blake hasn't gotten COVID. Yeah. I'm a nerd. That's correct. What's going on? Why am I the fucking wild man out here catching double vid? Well, I feel like a long time ago you were like, I've been out five nights a week and haven't gotten it. And I was like, do you remember this conversation? Wait, wait and see. I kind of. For real said that and you're like, I mean, I'm out and like four nights a week, I'm out and I'm not getting it. Yeah. And then you've gotten it twice. Yeah. Yeah, but only in the last three months though. This thing's been going on for a while. I did pretty good. I'm not saying I waited. I staggered. I staggered my

COVID till the back end of it. What the fuck do we do now? So if you're vaccinated, you get it. So why do we even check Vax at this point? Because everybody gets everybody susceptible. Like it's because you get less sick if you don't have that. Exactly. So yeah, but the whole thing we're trying not to do. So that should be your personal choice, right? Well, sure. Unless you want to fucking hospital dealing with a bunch of people. Yes, you got to think about COVID. And meanwhile, you're like, Hey, I just got hit by a car and my lungs punctured and they're like, well, we got people on lung things or whatever, you know, lung things. That's the whole thing. By the way, I'm kind of stoked that like at this point, it's mostly unvaxxed people dying,

not because I don't like people that aren't vaccinated. I think you guys are you're fine people. If you're unvaccinated, you're still probably some of my good friends are unvaccinated, I imagine, right? But also like, it can kill you. So I'll see you around. Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah. I mean, but I'm just saying like, you know how now, like there are places that are like, you can't come like, you can't come in if you're not vaccinated unless you present a vaccination card. Is that out the window at this point? Because it's not. It should be. Yeah. I mean, like, come on, like, we can't carry this weight of all these people dying anymore. Like if you were right off the gate, like 48 hours after we found out about this being like,

well, people die, you're kind of a dickhead. But now that we know it's here to stay, like how long can we be like, we're doing this for every single person when like, not everyone's in it. So fuck it. It's just so weird. Well, that's why people are shitting on the CDC so hard right now. They've like last they've like laxed the the waiting period, the waiting period that you have to quarantine before you can go back into society. And people are like shitting on them. Like, at this point, it is what it is. It's either you get vaccinated and you protect yourself, or you don't. And you don't. Yeah. Yeah, I think I think there's has the the best because we're all getting it. Yeah, it's just like, it's it's it's not a nice thing

to do to the people who have to take care of people who made the choice not to, because they might have made the choice to get vaccinated and be, you know, frontline worker and all that. If you're old or like super hefty, it's a bummer. It's a bummer. But you know what, maybe, maybe this is God's will. Oh, right. Christ is born. Did I tell you guys that when I was filming down in the south, this woman said that at her church, people were calling it the mark of the beast. And I was like, that's off the chain, like 666. What is like, when you get the shot, it's they're like, that's the mark of the beast from the Bible. And I was like, fucking yes, Satan, Satan, Satan. I'm down, bro. I like that the mark of the beast is just like a little

like colorful Band-Aid. Yeah. Yeah. Right. It's a Paw Patrol Band-Aid for sure. Yeah. Absolutely. I don't know, man. 2022, we had a good run. It's the future. But it's doomsday. We're done. It's just crazy that this shit has been going on so fucking long at this point. Right. Yeah. You know, it's like two years of a person's life. That's a long, like if you went to prison for two years, that's not a short stint. No, allegedly. Yeah. Three months sucks. Yeah. Two. Yeah. Like just dropping out. I don't know. Yeah. A holiday weekend's not great. Two years, man. I feel for these like kids, like the like a high school kid, imagine from the time you're 15 to the time you're 17, you just can't really hang out with your homies in the way you should be able to.

Well, get this. My middle, my middle dog who's four doesn't remember before the pandemic. Oh, shit. Like doesn't remember masks. Let's go. Oh, he doesn't remember like no masks. Doesn't remember like before mask. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ask him? You're like, remember when we could, and he's like, no, I don't know. He like did a look, like looking off in the distance, like trying to imagine it and then looked at me like, what? Like, what do you mean? And I was like, okay, you don't know what I'm talking about. So you were like, do you remember when we didn't have to wear masks? Yeah. I was like, hey, because we were wondering. We're like, do you remember when like, no,

we didn't have to wear a mask when we went places? That is so sad. And he just was like, what do you mean? Like to go out and we were like, yeah, like you didn't need a mask. He's like, no, but you must protect yourself for the virus. And you're like, yeah, basically. That's so sad. Yeah. He's a bitch. He's a total bitch, dude. Is there a saddest pod yet, dude? Yeah. So what did you do to unbitchify your child at that moment? Yeah, bare bottom spanking. Yeah. I said, pull your pants down. Did you get bare? Yeah, what are parents doing? What is up with bare bottom spanking? I know it hurts more, but hit harder and keep the pants on. I feel like my parents never use a weapon.

Pulled my pants down. I got spanked. I got bare bottom spanked, belt. You got bare bottom. So wait, what was the process of getting bare bottom spanked? Like, was it like, go over there, pull your pants all the way down? Does he rip your pants down or your mom? Or does he? Yeah, there's a neighborhood guy who was like, your body. Well, does your dad? Who is a man I assume? Could have been your principal or your teacher. Is that man that lives in your house make you, did he make you pull your pants down in front of him? Real quick, for the principal, it was more like an insertion, right? That was like, you're naughty and I'd go, okay. Wow. No, at that age, I feel like all my pants were like

elasticized or whatever. So it would just be like a, oh yeah, sweatpants only. Sweatpants only. No, no, no. Even like your corduroys for like church or whatever had like a little elastic in the band, like on the sides. Okay. Just so parents could rip your shit down and fucking smack you. Yeah. Oshkosh Bogosh was like a child of you. He was building them for easy access. Make sure you put the elastic in there. I'm pissed now. The quick release. So sorry, I'm like, so this, you're saying that the man in your house who used to thank you, who no one else ever saw. Some people call him a father. Some, some people called him a father. He would tear your elastic pants down. He would just pull

the pants down and then start smacking. Yeah. Now, did you put your hand in the way? Because my whole thing was, is I would put my hand to defend. He never made you strip in front of him. It was, it was a quick, it was always a quick snatch. Yeah, it was, yeah. Was he like, pull your pants down and you had, you're like, no, I don't want to. The assopans, the assopans in the house were never like a plan to go get a switch type thing. Like it took a bunch of time where he's like, oh, you got in trouble at school. It was that white hot anger that just ignited. Exactly. It wasn't going to be like planned out. Right. It happened in the moment. But yeah, it would just be like, if you put your hand there, you move your hand. Yeah, dude, I remember that. I remember

when I was like light enough, I would like put my hand down, but like, I'd be getting hoisted up by one arm, like feet off the floor and then your hand is trying to block anything and then end up hurting your hand. So what, what were you guys getting beat for all the time? What was, what was that? That's a good question. Why the hell? I remember specifically, this happened a few times and I do love my mom. Okay, sure. We have to see you. We have to preface that. She's a great woman. Oh yeah, the bitch. Whoa. She's dealing with three boys a lot on her plate. She'd be like, she'd come into my room in the morning and go, hey, we're leaving for school in like 10 minutes or whatever. And I'd be like, I don't want to go like I'm just laying in bed. And then she'd come

in like five minutes ago, we're leaving in five minutes. I'm like, oh, yeah. And then classic, classic kid move. Right. And then she would just come in with a hairbrush and go to work on my ass. It was like, no, uh, which is like, even now, the hairbrush is brutal. That's, that's a tough one. Dude, I think I, I think it was a similar thing. Like my mom would give me so many times to not get the ass whooping. Like she would be like, it would be, when I was getting my ass spanked, bare bottom and with like a paddle or whatever is like, she asked me the same thing. Like, so you got bare bottomed as well. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah, brother. My parents spent me, but never. Yeah, see, I knew, I knew. Bare bottom. It gets you going. It riles you up a little too much in your youth. I feel good.

If you were fucking around in the kitchen or like, weren't doing the dishes, you were just watching TV, like standing there, she'd come in and just grab a cooking spoon and fucking told you to do the dishes. And you're like, oh, see, my parents knew that that wouldn't, did that affect you? I feel like I did. And a few times I got spanked. I'm like, I did. It was fine. Like it sucked. It affected me in a weird way, where I can I can't slide a cooking spoon into my ear. Yeah, you know, and that's how I feel like what affected me more was when they were like, guess what, motherfucker, time out. And then you make they make you go stand in the corner. That to me was worse than because they knew you wanted attention

and they're like, go over there by yourself. Yeah, they knew that I like if all my friends are playing and they're like, and I was acting like a fool, you would find a mirror and just go Chris Farley shit. You know what really like snapped me out of being an asshole? We don't know. What is it? If I push my mom to the limit where she like, you push your mom, push her downstairs and she hurt her shoulder. No, if like you like kept pressing like, sorry, if I kept pressing my mom because I was annoying and I press her, press her, press her and she reached a point so frustrated, like start crying. Oh yeah, dude. Can I tell you something? That's that's what we get me to where my mom would be like, I've just I've had enough and I'd be like, I'm so sorry.

What were you doing? Yeah, this is something that is never ever. This is not in my jurisdiction. I feel like really that was my mom's move way more than than hitting. She would just be like, I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't. No, I'm saying like, what were you doing? I never bothered my mom. I would ask to go rent video games from the the movie until she cried. It'd be like, no, you can't. And I'd be like, can I can I can I feel like I was just doing shit. Me and my sister would be fighting or something. And she just like, she'd ask us to stop. And then instead of like, taking a belt off and beating the shit out of us, she would then start crying, which made us feel bad. It was an emotional tactic manipulation.

That's what that's what I mean. Whenever I used to call shotgun, you'd start crying and I'd be like, it's fine. All right, sorry, he loves. I have to I have to be up there. But here was something that's cool. Did you did you guys ever make or have somebody in your classroom make your teacher cry? Oh, I made my teacher cry. Oh, well, go ahead. I made my teacher cry. It was we were old too. We were like, like 14, we were in like freshman year of high school 14 or 15. Yeah. And oh, dude, it's so mean. Did you put you pushed her? It was we had the class set up where there was like a chunk of seats here, a chunk here and a chunk here. And then the desk was in the middle. So I could look directly at my body or directly across the way. And then

we were just doing dumb shit where we were like acting like we were shooting assault rifles and stuff at each other. This is before Columbine, right? This is before Columbine. Yeah. Yeah, maybe inspired. It was still a funny bit. We'd be like, we're like shoot each other and we're like and then be like whipping a, you know, bazooka out and shooting each other and then blowing up. I'm going to kill myself. Right, right. And just doing that shit to each other. Ninja stars. It's like behind her back, sort of. And the class is like laughing at it. And then she, yeah, the class is loving it. They kind of worried we're 14 years old. One dude is like, fuck yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I love it. My boy Jeremy was just like, fuck, they did it again.

Dude, is he exploding? Oh my God, he exploded. That was a knife. Grenade, grenade. You're doing, you're taking a request. So yeah, we were slaying and acid teachers, the teachers started the kids started to laugh and the teacher was like, what's going on sees us like exploding in shape behind her. And then afterwards we have to sit with her after she didn't cry in front of everyone. She waited for us. She excused everyone. And then she's like, Adam, Ryan, can I talk with you? And we sat down and she's then just bawling, dude. Yeah, because she was trying to fuck you. Perfect. I think she was about to, she's just trying to and then she's like, I got to stop. I got to stop. She might have been

trying to fuck Ryan. Ryan was like kind of a hunk. I looked like I was 11. Ryan had to shave. She was like, yeah, probably what it was that she saw us. And she got my mind. She got too horny, dude. A little too weird. I don't know, probably. That's probably what it was. There's not a doubt in my mind. And then she's like, I have to, I have to turn this around. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. She felt bad. She was like, oh my gosh, what are you thinking? Yeah, I can't believe I want to fuck these two kids. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe

in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story

of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down and that's when I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I got to get out of the house. He's going to find out that I've seen this. He's going to come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story,

you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel. Listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story with the

creatives, the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, Thursdays on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. Man, kids are so mean to teachers. It's so mean. We had a teacher, we ran, we went through, in Spanish one regular, which is like a class you shouldn't even have to have in high school, because you've already taken Spanish in middle school. But like, it was if you just weren't doing great. Right. Oh, yeah. No, we went through three teachers. She would like go get the principal. I'm living in a nightmare. They would pretend not to understand the Spanish to and then just be like, I'm fucking with you. And then just like, we just wear them down.

Like the whole class was in on it. There were like five or six of the 10 of us. It was like a it was a trifling little fucking group of because there's no way you should be in Spanish one regular as I think it was like a I think my senior year or junior year when I took my last Spanish class, I was in it with all freshmen. Yeah, I had that with math. I was like a dumb old weirdo. Wait, so you were in Spanish one your junior year? No, my sophomore year. Okay, well, that's a little there's 10 of us in the high school that like ever you take Spanish one as a seventh grader. Do you know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah, you take Spanish. Yeah, because you start language in middle school. We didn't. We started in eighth grade. We took it was just we took like a semester

of each language. And then by the time you got to high school, then you chose a language. But like that would have been one. And I'm taking one as a sophomore in high school now. So you were the biggest kid in class? There were a couple other people my age at my school, you didn't even have to take a language as long as you took like an arts. So I took theater drama, and I didn't even have to take Spanish. And that's why I'm stupid. Yeah. And your school was like a really dumb school or something. Yeah, it's gotten better since you were allowed to graduate with two years of a language. But then when I got to college, they were like, What do you do? You need to take language again. Yeah. And I was like, Oh,

fuck. So I took Norwegian. I took French in middle school. You took Norwegian? Yeah, yeah, I'll get there. I took French in middle school. And I was like, I want my name to be Jean-Claude, you know how they give you a name? Yeah. So I was like, JCVD. Yeah. And then they were like, someone already has that. And I go, Okay, so I thought the dash. But he already had it. Of course, Boris era. Yeah. Someone. So I thought the dash part was French. And then my favorite dog was a Chinese Sharpe. So I was like, you can call me Sharpe. And she's like, that's not French. And I was like, then don't call me anything. I was just like a fucking knucklehead. So she was like, Okay, Sharpe. Okay, Sharpe. There's a character and like a high school musical named

Sharpe or something. So I was on something. Yeah. Then to Spanish in high school. That was insane. And then I was like, yeah, because I still couldn't get it. And everyone around me didn't give a fuck. So we just never learned anything. Yeah, those were the best classes when everyone was dumb. And those were the worst. And you guys were all on the same page with, we're just not going to learn anything. And then the teachers like, I can't fail them all. So because they'll get fired. If you just last second, study just a little bit more than your dumb friends, she'll give you an A because she's like, all right, I'll tell you something. Yeah, at least that was never even on. I was like, no, I wouldn't even study last second. Oh, I was gaming that system. I was like,

I just need to remember guys like you. Yeah, having fun. And then on the exam, like the one that no homework, but then on the exam, they'd be like, Yeah, I got to be plus. And you go, what? That's not cheating. That's how we agreed to, we were both going to fail and fuck around. You studied, we all said that we were going to fail this one. Kyle, betray me. Betrayal. We had a teacher that I hated so much that I went to the school board and make her flinch. Oh, yeah, the bitch. And they got a petition with multiple teachers on it, saying that she's not fit to be a teacher. Multiple other teachers in the school and then went to the school board and spoke your Karen. It totally did. And she was the worst. She was a fucking nightmare math

teacher. And then she was demoted to in school detention teacher. So then she could only teach kids. And so my that was my sophomore year of high school when this all this went down. My senior year as I'm walking out of the school, she goes, I turn around. It was like a fucking John Hueson. Yes. I turned around and she goes, I fucking hate you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You but you get it. Yeah. And then I'm like, I hate you too, bitch. And I walked out and was like, Yeah. And that was I mean that that teacher also, we hated her. She hated us. That's cool. It was a mutual hate. Dude. She hated everybody. Was it sexual tension though? Probably. Well, you could tell she wanted to fuck.

No, but not for me. Maybe that's why I was so salty with her. Yeah. She said, let me get in them jeans. She would show like the athletes the jocks like special attention and everyone else don't hate. He would fucking hate their guts. Right. So I was standing up for all of the little the cripples, the spazs. The little nose. All the little crips. All the little spazs. Me and the Crips. We're out of here. Crips, cripples. And that's why you do stand up now. You're still standing up. Damn. I had a same thing with a teacher that everyone loved where he was like the fun guy who would throw out Mac muffins. It was like the first class in the morning. So if you got something right, he would just be like, here's a Mac muffin. Damn. That's awesome. But like,

I didn't get, I just didn't get it. And he was like, I don't know. I just was like, can you stop telling the math and jokes so I can understand it? But you didn't like learning. So why did you give a fuck? Why were you? Because I had to like pass its math. You can't graduate if you don't pass math, which I had failed freshman year and had to like do repeat algebra or whatever. And then he took me on the hallways like, why don't you like this? And I was like, I can't understand the way you're teaching it. It's, it's funny. It's very entertaining. I just am not getting it. Look, and he's like, everybody else gets it. I go, I guess I got a transfer. This is in the hallway. Oh yeah. Look, I don't give a fuck about your Mac muffins, bro. All right.

Teach the class. Kind of to the book. I mean, but everybody loved them. Shout out. Hope he's still alive. You know, but then I went to miss Erby. Shout out Don Erby. Don Erby. She's the one who she gave me a test that I just wrote my name on and gave it back to her because I was like, I don't know the answer. And she was like, just go ahead and try. And I was like, I don't know it. For you, I won't. I loved her. She always wore like the fucking freshest win suits. Damn. Shout out. Yeah. Fuck. Well, so I mean, I understand not understand. I also, I feel like all three of us had issues with math. Yes. It's hard. And that was for sure my hardest. At a certain point. My hardest thing. Not a thing. But you couldn't even get it.

I couldn't read or tell time either, but go ahead. Yeah. Do you think, do you think part of your dyslexia that we've sort of found out throughout being on the podcast? Derslexia. Derslexia. Do you think that has something to do with your inability to move? How I lost my arm? To do math? Yeah. You know what though? What's weird is like I can do math. You know how they're like show your work right on math? Yeah. I would always do the math in a different way that worked for my brain. And then they would go. Okie dokie. Sure. They would say, hey, like that's actually not how you do it. And I go, but the answer is right. And they go, right, but we need you to

learn it this way, which I'm sure is like the building blocks of math. Because if you do it correctly here, then you can do the next thing or whatever. But I just I was like, I don't this that's so much harder for me to get than to do it this other way that would work. But not always obviously because I'm a fucking knucklehead. Yeah, because I guess I didn't understand that when I was such a dumb ass little kid is like everything you learn is going to continue on into the next phase of math. And then you have to know these base, if you don't know how to do the base stuff correctly, then you're going to be completely lost when it gets to the bigger. Hey guys, and that's that's a lesson for life, isn't it? Right. It is a little bit. It is a little bit.

Except iPhones are here. So nothing matters. Yeah. Right. So so what basically Blake is saying that he thinks teachers are bad. They didn't teach him. No, I was saying like, are you mad because they weren't trying to fuck you? Yeah, wait, were you saying that I was wish I wish like there were a few teachers I thought were pretty hot and then they just never looked my way. But I didn't have my any sort of muscle definition. So I don't understand. Yeah, that's true. I don't buy that for a moment. Trust me. I had a teacher once that I would fake flirt with her so often. What? Yeah, I would fake flirt when I was like a junior in high school. She goes home at night. She's like, there's this boy at school. It's totally going to get me fired. And I just I'm

doing it so my classmates are laughing and everything you were doing was a performance. It's a performance. It's a performance. And so I had to I had a question for her after class and she wouldn't talk to me alone in the classroom. She made me go in the hallway to talk to her. You made her feel unsafe. Yeah, I was like, oh, I guess I'm like a I didn't even know. I thought I was just doing comedy. So so so the Lord of the crypts. How are you? Let's roll out into the hallway and talk here. I was out of my wheelchair by that point. What would you say? What do you mean you would flirt with her? Was it like a nice dress today or like? No, I don't think it was like that. It'd be like it'd be like over the top stuff. It'd be like

great ass. Right. It'd be like look at that tits. Is this a boner in my sweatpants? Your boobs are huge. No, I don't know even what it was. It'd be like anything for you miss and her name and like anything for you. Of course, of course. And you know, just kind of laying it on thick or being like, what perfume are you wearing today? That is delightful. And you know, my friends think it's funny and she thinks that I'm being a total creep. Was she like, you know, whatever for what it is, was she attractive or was she? Were you gonna say stack? Yeah, I think so. I think so for what I remember. But go back. Anytime you look at old photos of people that you thought were like the hottest people in the world. Yeah. And you go back and look like when you're a kid and you're

like your books. What? Oh, going through the yearbook to like the babes from like junior higher high school, you're just like, what the fuck were we like? It's like a prison system. Hey, but at the time, this goes into a whole thing about just a vibe. It's a vibe. Yeah. Still put out that vibe, dude. Yeah, they might look like a horse now or something, but like back in the day, they had the vibe. We're like, if they're sitting in front of you and they turn around, they're like, did you need a pencil today? And you're like, dude, Melanie was cool. Melanie was so nice. She'd write on my hand. It was just meant the world to me, dude. Right. Dude, if a girl would just be like, can I write on your hand? Oh yeah. The

amount of notes that were passed back and forth, get real, dude. Entire forests of notes. Hey, ladies, if you want in today's edge, if you want to get a husband, thank you. Come on. Pass that man a note. Yes, maybe or no. Are you talking about in high school? No, I'm talking, I'm talking today. Or steal his hat and run away with it and don't let him have it back and put it on. Yeah. Maybe take his trapper keeper and vandalize it. Just rip the freaking hat off his head, run away, put it on, take some selfies with it. I remember this girl stole my brand new trapper keeper and wrote fluffy buns. Do I make you honey, baby? That's not okay. You wrote fluffy buns on the Nike Swoosh. It was a white Nike Swoosh in the middle of it. Had you ever heard her use

those words before? Yeah, what does that mean? No. Her and her friends, I, in hindsight, I was like, they must have like really wanted something. Well, were they talking about your butt being fluffy? Yeah, my, my butt. They like, that's accurate. Yeah, fluffy butt. That's one way to explain it. And fucking dump truck ass. She just wrote dump truck ass. They were fluffy buns. I was so fucking mad. I was so mad at these girls. For like, I want to say like six months, like the, the level of mad was disproportionate to what they did. No, man, you still haven't forgiven them. Obviously. I know you're getting heated, dude. I'll piss now. Fuck you. Yeah. High school beefs. Do you remember? I wish as adults, you could still like

get in fights after work. You can. Like, like, like, yeah, but it's really frowned upon. World Star. World Star. I feel like fights kind of died off by the time we got into high school, but seventh and eighth grade, there was a fight every day. Oh, that show was the best. Yeah, the best. So excited. Where would you guys have yours at the bike cage? No, we went either we went to the down by the track or up by the circle. Like the train track? No, the other running track, running track. Yeah, copy that. And there was like a little wooded area that you could kind of dip down in and that was still on campus though. Yeah, or the circle, which was just off campus at the very top of the hill. So you saw teachers coming if they were coming teachers

would fight? No. Oh, absolutely. That'd be sick. That would be really cool. No, I feel like but you know when like the shit would just pop off during like recess or whatever or during like passing period and then the whole school would just pop off. Just go right to like the fight. It was just like, bye, bye, bye. That shit was the best. It's how exciting. Like, it makes me think like, why wasn't I like a fight promoter? I would have done really well in middle school as a fight promoter. Yeah, that's a great idea. Were there more girl fights or boy fights? We had way more girl fights. Really? Oh, yeah, windmill arm fights. Oh, yeah. With the hair. Oh, pulling hair. And those girl fights, they were more aggressive than the guy fights by far.

I mean, do you watch the mixed martial arts like the girl fights? Oh my god, do they fuck each other? That girl the other night's face got destroyed. She looked like that movie, the mask or mask? Yeah, dude, their faces all boil up. It's crazy. But the mask with Jim Carrey? No, no, the mask with Cher and Sam Elliott. Cher and Eric Stoltz. So good. So good. He kills good. I can't even watch those girl MMA fights. They get so brutal and they kick each other right in the face. That's sexist, but okay, they need your money. That's true. I'll get into it. Watching a brawl? No, but for sure. At my school, it was always... There weren't that many girl fights. I feel like maybe it was... There were more boys fighting teachers than boys fighting each

other. You had boys fight teachers? So these teachers, first of all, they get paid no money? Yeah, or they get way underpaid. To be fair, though, they're all constantly trying to fuck the children. That's been established. Yeah, it's a national phenomenon. Yeah, somebody has to put them in their place. Right. Well, admittedly, I mean, the teachers have a leg to stand on because these kids are getting fucking sexy, you know? That's true. But also, with their tough nipples, the guys with the tough nipples... We've talked about it before. The under the nipple gets real firm when they're developing. Yeah, the nipples. By the way, you guys still lost me. The nipples and the balls and the... We didn't have a teacher ever fight a student. That is

very bizarre. Now, when you say that... No, a boy fighting a teacher, but never a teacher trying to fight the fucking kid. But a student throwing hands. Yeah, for sure. Was it a scenario where the student knocked the teacher out? There's no way you win if you're the teacher. There's no way to win. You would see the dad strength kick in. High school was a little dicer. We had 30 security guards whose job it was. To fuck a kid up. R.I.P. Big John died last year, I think. But in middle school, you would see the dad strength come out and just put some little seventh or eighth grader in a fucking bear hug and be like, you want to hit me? Kyle's dad style. It was fucking... You'd be like, whoa. Someone so fucking got in there. Dude, the snapping point.

That's my favorite. Just dad strength. Right. Yeah, just bear hugging a motherfucker. I can't wait for you guys to, you know, in probably like five years when we're still doing the podcast and you come on and you're like... Three times a week. Guys, crazy story. I just beat the shit out of a 14-year-old. Wow. Right. I had to. I had to. Like they were pumping my kid. He pushed me. I told him to knock it off. He stepped to me again. I dropped a little son of a bitch. He started charging. I took his head and I just followed it into the wall. Did I talk about this? And then I took my fists and I just... Did I talk about this? I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop. I elbow dropped him. Went to the car. I got a knife. Did I tell you guys about this? A few years ago,

we're at a park and I'm watching Arnie. He's like... Oh, the mask thing, right? Yes, the mask man. What? The mask man when the guy was like, make me... No, no, no, no, no. This is different. Okay. This is about... Okay, here we go. New story. New story. New story. Excited. Strap in. This is about attacking a kid. Oh, fuck it. So Arnie's three. He's three years old, maybe. Like almost four. That's right. Youthful. And he's on the monkey bars and he's like hanging there or whatever. Wild man at three. That's pretty tough. Yeah, down. Yeah. Shout out. All right, Jock. And then some kid who was... Who I found out was seven comes up behind him. Pants him. And then just wraps his legs around Arnie. Arnie doesn't know this kid. I don't know this kid. He's like American

Gladiator style. Exactly. Shit. He was... This kid Malibu's my son. He lasers him. He lasers him. He gemini's him. He lasers. Then he blazers. Arnie can't support the weight of this kid's legs and falls and eats shit. And I go, hey. And the other kid looks and drops down. And I go, I check with Arnie. Are you okay? And he's crying. And I go, how old are you? And the other kid's like, what? I go, how old are you? He's like, seven. I go, you're seven years old. He's three. Do you understand that? You don't do that to a three-year-old. You're seven. Okay? You're the big kid. You got to act like it. We're your parents. This is great. This is great. And he's like, they're not here. My sister's here. I'm like, where's your sister? And you're like, all right,

that's it. Pull your pants down. Pull your pants down. Bear bottoms fake. So then the sister just starts beating the shit out of me. He was MMA, dude. There's some barbecue like 300 yards away. And this kid is like, just off wandering. I go, go over there and take five minutes. And then I was like, all right, I just yelled at some fucking strange kid. But by the way, that's how it used to be. If you're being a fucking psycho on the playground, some strange parent would come over and go, Hey, what are you doing? Don't do that. You know, hey, shithead. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist

and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this. He's gonna come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart

radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington DC. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed freeway fan. This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. Is my mother formal? That guy is. He's out of sync with even the worst people.

I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to freeway phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I feel like out of the three of us, Ders will be the first one. Also, he's got the oldest kids. He's paying somebody else's child. Yeah, I feel like he's going to be the first one to either get in some sort of altercation with the child. Look, or another parent or otherwise. I don't know. I mean, the times times have changed. You can't say anything to anybody else's kid anymore. My dad would fight kids. My dad on multiple occasions.

That's what it had to be. I mean, like, because by the way, if my kid is being a total fucking psycho turd at a playground, put him in check. You have my permission to be that. I'm not there. Put him in check, please, so that he knows. And by the way, it's better when it's a stranger, because then you're like, whoa, some fucking person. I don't know. That shit will rock you. That shit will rock you. My dad, one time, these kids stole my basketball and kicked it on the roof. And I came home like crying because it was the. Did you throw battery acid on these kids? I didn't. No. Okay, okay. Go ahead. No, they threw battery acid at me. And I go and I'm crying because it was the pizza hut basketball that my dad had just got me. The

black one for like $5.99. It was like black and gray with like little graffiti on it. It was sick as fuck. Yeah, it was super fucking cool. And he got it for me and he was just out of town for a while. Legendary. And I'm like, he got it for me. He bought two pizzas and got it for free. Yeah. And then it was like, uh, and I had the basketball. Oh, shit, this for Adam. Yeah. And I've been out of town here. Why didn't you cry about it? It's amazing when your dad, because my dad was gone for like weeks at a time when I was a kid, how much just like a little piece of shit drink it from like some truck stop. And I'm like, this is the coolest thing in the fucking world. Here's some grass. This is this is from South Dakota. Oh my God, this is from the Great Plains.

This is gonna make a necklace. And so he came, I think I've told this story on the podcast where he came over to these kids and was like, get my son his ball. Right. And they're like, no, fuck off. And my dad's like, go get it. And he's like, what are you going to do? And the kid pushed him and my dad just fucking smack this kid in the head. Yeah, if a kid, if a kid puts hands on me, now that's gonna be a good day. It's a green light. Yeah, for sure. It's a green light. Yeah, he was like, he was like 14. My dad just like smacked this kid and then grabbed him and then told him to and then everyone was kind of shocked. And he's like, climb up on this fucking building and get that my son is basketball. And then he climbed up it and got me my basketball. He should

have thrown the kid on the roof. You can't do that. You cannot do that. If a kid pushes you, it's self defense. No, it's a child. No, no, no. This is a teenager. Oh, you're such a bitch right now, dude. If a kid, first of all, he just stole your son's property, kicked it on the roof. He's a shithead. You come over, you ask him to get to get it down. He says no, you ask him again, he shoves you and says, get the fuck out of here. You're allowed to close fist punch him in the face. That shit's important. I would have taken the kids shoes. Now he went open. He went open hand. He went open hand. He did the nose thing into the brain. Yeah, he murdered the kid. I would have bare bottoms. No, he opened hand. That being said, you guys have seen my dad's hands. Those are some

thick paws. Yeah, those are probably hurt quite a bit, but put your pants down, but then he got the ball. Well, sure. I mean, man, I don't know about the hitting. Dude, I'm gonna, I'm gonna beat the shit out of children. Not mine. I'm not mine. Mark has words. Not mine. Bring your dad to school day is just the royal rumble for Adam. I'm just, I take my hands up. He just comes fucking swall up. He's like, all right. You want to know what I do for a living? You just point to me who the homies are. But I only do that in middle school. By the time they get to high school, I'm out the game. Dad. Right. High school, they learn wrestling and shit. That would be the coolest. Bring your dad to school day. You get your ass beat in front of the class. Oh, rough. Get him off me. By the way,

if a teenager starts fighting you in front of your kids, what do you do? You have to fight them. You have to fight. You have to win. And even if you get your ass whipped, you have to bite that kid. You have to headbutt. You have to dropkick. You absolutely cannot lose that fight. You have to, if you're going to lose that fight, you have to find a way to murder that child. Right. Yes, because you will no longer be the dad of your household. Your kid will take your car. It's worth a lifetime in prison because you gained your child's respect. Right. And by the way, the judge who's at the hearing, is that where they're at? Yeah. The trial, he'll go, so... They'll get it. This is a kid. And you were in front of your own child? Yeah, in front of your

own child. Okay. And you were going to lose the fight. Yeah. And you're like, I was, so you had to grab that shank and stab him in the neck or whatever. You broke the bottle and then proceeded to jab it into his throat. You had to. You had to. And the kid did die? He did. He did die. Yeah. He did. He did. But you were in front of your kid? Yeah. I was. In front of my kid. And he did, he released a noise that was pretty scary as he was dying. Death rattle. And laying on top of me. The judge just hits you with a wink who's like, I think we can wrap this up early. Yeah. He had just shoved my face in the mud. I look like a fool. Kind of embarrassed me, so worth murdering him. He actually pulled my pants down. He pants me. And my son saw my own

dick. He bare bottom spanked me. And because I was fighting, it was a little retracted. Usually if I know my kid is coming and was going to walk in, I kind of get a little blood in it, just to... Your honor. Your honor. Usually I like to squeeze. If my kids around I know they're going to see my dick. I usually like to squeeze my dick around. I like to warm it up. I like to warm it up. I like to flip it around. Of course, defendant. Of course, defendant or whatever. And allegedly, I murdered it. The judge is just like, I'm with you the whole time. You sound like you're scared. Don't be. All this makes sense. I get it. Yeah. No, I think, you know, I feel like at a certain point,

you should be able to fight children if they're embarrassing you. Do you know how many kids are going to try and fight us now after hearing this? Yeah, fuck. We're about to get Cat Williams. If it's just a kid that's trying to fight you, that's one thing. But if it's a kid trying to fight you in front of your children, that's a different story. That's life. If it's just a kid that's trying to fight you, you're like, all right, man, you're a fucking child. Get away from me. Go find a teacher to fuck. But if they're fucking you in front of your kid, and I don't even have kids, but...

What happened with Cat Williams, by the way? It was when he was down bad. Like, remember, Cat was down bad. They were playing like tag, were they playing like flag football or something? Or soccer. Something and it got a little heated. Yeah, he started to talk shit. Very well. Yeah, because Cat's a fucking master of comedy and burns.

Cat Williams in the house. And then did he get suplexed? Dude, it was bad, dude. By like a jacked 13-year-old. Like a 14-year-old. Was this a video that came out? Yeah, dude. It's like one-on-one fight, and he just kind of beats his ass, and then he's like, say some shit.

But you know what? Cat was mouthing off. And then Cat's just like, I'm not going to say nothing. And then, yeah, he did start to be like, no, fuck this, I'm out of here. And then the kid knew as he was like, oh, I'm going to follow this, dude. And then I think when Cat turned around, it got bad. Yeah, it was sad. That would suck to lose. Yeah, because I root for Cat.

Cat's one of the fucking greatest comedians of all time. The best. He's hilarious. He did his stand-up. The first 15 minutes were about how hot it is in Jacksonville. Yeah. And by the way, I'm sure he does every city like that, but it was amazing. Yeah, he's so funny.

15 minutes on it, maybe eight. But I think he's doing way better now. That was when he was like low point. He had some rough years. Cat Williams is the fucking best when I did New Faces for the Montreal Comedy Festival, New Faces. They invite like 20 comics from around the world that call them the New Faces of Comedy.

I did it in 06. He was in the Masters in 06. So the Masters or the Legends or something is right after that. Are they like judges? No, it's right after New Faces. It's like a New Faces show. Then it's the Legends show. So we just did our show and then the Legends show is right afterwards.

And it's we're kind of in the crowd like waiting. And all of a sudden, all these like scantily clad women come walking in and walk through the crowd and they go just whispering from table to table. They're like, Cat Williams is in the house. Hey, excuse me. Cat is in the house. And everyone's like, what the fuck? And then without an emcee, he's just like, what's up, bitches?

And like walks on stage and starts the show. And I'm like, yeah, that's the coolest way to enter the show. I'm like, the guy is a legend. So you got to do that next time you have like dinner reservations. Send in some really hot babes and they're just like, Adam's about to come in for dinner. Adam's about to come get steak. Adam's valet in the car right now.

Adam's going to come in and eat some lobster. Adam's about to eat some mashed potatoes. I feel like Paul Mooney used to have like women hold like towels for him that would come out. He would just like fully stop from his comedy routine. A woman would come out of the towel. He would dab them down, give it. No, he would take it, dab himself, give it back and like center on her way. And then just go into the next story and you're like, that's so cool.

Stage, stage confidence. Adam, do that with me and Ders, man. I'd love that. I'll come out and hand you a towel. Yeah. I'd love that guys. Are towels still happening in comedy? There was an era.

Towel comedy. We're like, someone would always be carrying a towel. That shit's important. Yeah, I feel like towels are still, you know, still pretty big. Right. I saw Erie Spears a few months ago and he had a towel. Yeah, he holds a towel. Craig Robinson always got a towel.

Craig Robinson has a towel on lock. You've got a towel. And you've got a towel. Well, I feel like the next tour isn't going to be me solo doing stand-up tour. I think the next tour should be us going on the road, taking TII to the nation. That shit's important. Yeah, dude. Good call.

So let's send in a bunch of like really heavy set dudes and they'd be like, hey, the guys, the guys just got here. Right. The guys just got here. Yeah. But really scantily clad. Right. Just in thongs.

And bikini tops. Is it scantily or scandily? Scantily? Scantily. Yep. Scantily. Rated. Scantily.

It's just a bunch of men in like fishnets and thongs. Uh-huh. Yeah. Overway. The guys are still backstage. In the house. Like farting with every step. Adam's shitting right now.

They're not going to come out yet. Adam's taking a number two. But the show's going to start soon. They're like, does these guys work here? Okay. But by the way, it's an hour before you get on stage. It's just an hour of them going any minute. Trust me when I say this very soon.

Adam Devine, stand-up comedy right up there. Any minute now. You want a refund? No, I'm not the guy to talk to. Guys, this isn't... We're not wasting this idea on just my stand-up show. This is our communal. This is important on the road.

Also selling NFTs that is a magic eye of our collective dicks. Yes. Dude, when you pull together all the ideas we've had for our live show on all these episodes, we've got a hell of a live show. We've got a hit on our hands. We got to go back and rake through the old episodes and see what we can...

It's like a calendar of our buttholes. We're fist-fighting our dads. We're butt-chugging. Yeah, that is true. It's just going to be like a Stevo show. Fucking God willing. Magic eyes of our collective cocks, I think. We're going one-third, one-third, one-third.

Right. Like head-shaft base. And should those be NFTs? I don't really know what NFTs are, but I feel like we could sell them. No one might probably. It's a picture. Yeah, it's a picture.

Let's sell these pictures. And if we go to Milwaukee, we could do specific Milwaukee NFT, but mostly of our collective cocks and or our buttholes. We're talking Milwaukee. This dude has no idea what he's talking about. Yes, go Badgers. They're playing tonight, baby.

Whatever that fucking Vegas bowl is versus ASU. Who's got money on it? It would have already been played by now, and congratulations on a great win. And or just like being a really good loser. Congrats, man. Either way. Thanks.

By the way, guys, we should get a bowl. Barstool Sports has a bowl. Jimmy Kimmel has a bowl. Jimmy Kimmel got a bowl now, yeah. I feel like we need a bowl. How do we go about doing this? Maybe that should be our New Year's resolution, is get a bowl.

Get a bowl. I mean, let's talk to some of our close sponsors, you know, like Trojan, very close to us. Trojan Bowl would be sick. Dude, I would love to lube up a Trojan Bowl. What about just the Smoke a Bowl? Is there a weed company that has a bowl? How is that not a thing?

Yeah. How is weed maps or something or can cannabis beverage? Let's shout out. Hey, weed conglomerate, come to us. We'll be your guys, and we will host the Smoke a Bowl. The Smoke a Bowl? Smoke a Bowl. Smoke weed every day.

Oh, the Schmerke Bar. Yeah, the Schmerke Bar. I would love that. I'd love that for us. I'm sure colleges would be just raring to be a part of that. Oh, dude. It would go off. It would be out in California, you know what I mean?

Like it's legal. It's legal almost everywhere. It could be a little freaking annoying. Yeah, let's do it. The Schmerke Bowl. Let's make it happen. Big weed company that wants to promote themselves. I mean, shit.

Yeah, cookies. Come on. Cookies. I got it in over there. Yeah, come on. Let's hit up Burner and see what's up. Let's do this. Let's do it, baby.

So, guys, any take, Adam, were you just going to say? Yeah, they're going to take back. I was going to say, yeah. Any take back, apologies. It's that time already. Yeah, it is. You know, I'd like to take back that I said upwards of seven times that teachers are constantly trying to suck their

students off. Why would you take that back? I don't think you have to. Because it's not nice. Not all. It's most. It's most, yeah. It's not all.

You want to take it back and add all. Walk that back. Walk that back a little bit. Walk it back and then sprint forward with it. And I wanted to add, and allegedly, to all the stories I've ever told about my dad fighting children, good call, good call. I'm going to throw in, allegedly, in front and during

all said stories, just so we know that it could or could not have happened. And I don't, I think if it happened, it was so long ago that you probably wouldn't still be in trouble for it. Right. Sorry, suckers. Statue of limitations and all that. Absolutely.

So, but I'll throw, allegedly. Is there a famous, allegedly, that we could put on the board, Blaze? I don't know. I'll look up some. Like from Liar Liar? I mean, we've got, your boobs are huge. Oh, allegedly.

Right, right? I feel like he would have shouted out in the courtroom. Or what's the one with Kramer, where he was like a lawyer? Sure. Yeah, I don't know if we need Kramer. Your boobs are huge. Or a jury duty? Jury duty.

I'll take, I'll look, I'll watch every comedic court movie because those are usually. If you could trial and error is what I would think. Trial and error. I would give you your flowers if you watched every comedic court movie before the next time we podcast. My cousin Vinny. Oh, there's gotta be a, well, but I don't know any of

those lines. I don't even know if I've ever seen that movie. My cousin Vinny. My cousin Vinny. I watched that the other day, actually, weirdly. Good. And what's the verdict? Pretty good.

Yeah. And a, well, I will give a shout out to all the teachers out there working hard for way, way too little pay. Sorry for all the students. Sorry for all these kids. Sorry for all the students that made you cry, man. It is funny to, I stumbled upon a Reddit though where it was like kids like telling stories about when they

made their teachers cry. I was laughing so hard. Cool. Great take back, bud. Great take back. So that sucks for you, but just know that we've established if you bring your kid to work one day and some kid starts shit with you and is embarrassing you in front of

that your child, you can beat the shit out of that kid legally, we think allegedly. Hey, bring me to school. Hey, do you guys, have you, have you watched any like of these award movies? Is there anything that you can recommend to me? Oh, you're talking. I watched a licorice pizza last night and that was pretty good.

Oh, I want to see that. I want to see that. Okay, I got to check it out. That was good. And the King Richard was pretty good as well. That's the one about Venus and Serena Williams and their dad. Richard. Richard.

Is Spider-Man nominated? I heard it's fantastic. The new one? It's all Spider-Verse, right? They kind of just were like, let's do the Spider-Verse with live action. Well, I loved that movie. I know, I know.

I got Day Last Soul on the soundtrack, I guess. I hadn't seen any of the Spider-Men. So I just watched the first Toby McGuire Spider-Man with my kids the other day and they fucking loved it. Cool. That's cool. That came out so long ago. Yeah.

I mean, it's got Willem Dafoe. Willem Dafoe. I haven't seen any of the new ones is what I meant to say. Oh, yeah. They're good. I haven't seen any of the Tom Holland ones. They're so fun. They're just like the most fun Marvel movies for sure.

But also well done and excited. Yeah, they're great. They're not just a good time like popcorn. They're like, they hit the beats. They're like, you care. Shout out Spider-Man. All right. Hey, guess what I'm going to strap into tonight?

Spider-Man? All Spider-Man. All Spider-Man all the time. With your COVID self, bro. With my COVID ass. Hey, get better, Adam. Keep fighting the good fight. I watch House of Gucci.

Yeah, I saw it. It's fine. Yeah. I thought it would be more like beautiful, like more like vistas and stuff to make me feel like I want to go to Italy. Yeah, it felt like the episode of Succession where they go to Italy looked cooler than Ridley Scott.

Get on your shit, dawg. I know Ridley. What about or like White Lotus? White Lotus looks good. Ridley. Well, White Lotus just looked like Hawaii, which is great. It was really beautiful. And I'll be honest, whenever they did those glamour shots,

I was like, these aren't making the show better. They kind of like took me out of it for a second. I'd be like, what are we doing? Let's get back to the guy eating his butthole. All right. Well, dude, you can't have your cake and eat it too, man. Hey, that's going to be what plays at the beginning of the episode, for sure.

What episode? Of this pod. What episode? I was like, what are you talking about? Get back to the guy eating his butthole. All right, guys. That was another episode of This Is Important. This is important.

You lose, fucking thing. Fuck it. I'm pissed now. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans?

So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing

an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972,

six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.