This Is Important - Ep 80: The Guys Mostly Sing Bare Naked Ladies

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

Today, this is what's important: Barenaked Ladies, irony, Hot Topic, mall culture, dating, cheap food, MSG, porn, VHS tapes, Dorf On Golf, and more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw it in a folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about

what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about... Did anybody beat off in a glass elevator? She didn't want to see it hard. She just wanted to see it get hard. Let me put it on everything, and then we call it the flavor enhancer. Doctors, Brazzers, whoever. Here we go. Start your engines. Yeah, y'all. Powerful opening. It's a powerful opening, gentlemen. What a week it's been. It's been one week since you looked at me. I love that track.

Bear naked? Is that bear naked? Keep going. That's bear naked ladies. How much of that song can you do? Chickadee China. Chickadee China, the Chinese chicken. You have a drumstick in your brain, so it's sticking. Watch an X-File, so you like song. And then it kind of fades out. One of the lyrics, watching X-Files? I didn't love that song. I did not love that one. That seems like an Adam song, that one million percent. Dude, it definitely seems like it should have been up my alley.

You might want to revisit that. Like that's a homecoming dance solo Adam divine song come on situation. Here's what it was, here's what it was. Basically, it was co-opted by another kid. It was his song and he was always... Oh, the nemesis. He was always doing it and it was admittedly it was pretty annoying when he did it, so it turned me off on the song. I dodged that bullet. Move Adam, I'm trying to watch him dance. I would have been the annoying guy doing it. I know I would have, so I'm glad I dodged that bullet.

They just wheeled you down the stairs. They're like, you can't dance, just push your wheelchair down the stairs to go watch something. Well, they know I could dance. They know I could dance because they've seen me at different dances and weddings and they know that the talent scouts are out there. This is getting dark. I'm sorry we said it. Hey, I got a history of taking off my shirt. Dude, that is the most Canadian ass song and Canada loves bare naked ladies. They like to perform at Olympics.

We put that song in shadows of season three when the vampires were trying to be human. And there's just so funny, some fantastic scenes with that song. I got a history of taking off my shirt. It's a funny song. It's not my favorite song. There's three quotes. We know it's got a weird spot in your life. I feel like it was them and Bloodhound gang were going at it for like funniest. Bloodhound gang was super funny, way better. Well, Bloodhound gang is do it like animals or mammals, right?

Yeah, yeah. Discovery Channel. Do it like we do on the Discovery Channel. Was it, I feel like they were both like, it was like a time before irony, right? Is that what it was? Like people were actually liking those songs. No, Blake, irony is as old as time. Okay, it wasn't before irony. Time before irony.

Wait, you thought it was, dude? You thought pre-1998 irony didn't exist? Okay, yes. Okay. Adam Bithy Apple as a joke. I'm aware that irony existed, but it wasn't. Eating the apple as a bit. Nobody was rocking.

Actually, I don't know. Because like Kyle, you wore like a cocoa puff shirt from Hot Topic. Was that ironically, was that the birth of irony? Like with Kyle and his cocoa puff shirt? Well, I think like more like the spam shirt was probably, more like the spam shirt was the birth of that. The spam shirt was the birth of that. I'm pissed now.

The spam shirt was the birth of that. Maybe we're the generation that really like, embraced like the ironic nature of consumerism. Yeah, of course. Well, the spam shirt was just like, that was just like a Hot Topic go-to shirt. I feel like that one was marked down. It went from like 1999 to 1399.

And you were like, hey, I'll fucking snag that. No, but the thing about that was is that nobody likes spam. So to be rocking that on your shirt is like wearing a shirt with like shit on it or something. No, not a lot of people like spam. No, Blake is right. The whole freaking state of Hawaii loves spam. Right, but by and large. And also to be real, when I wore that, I liked spam.

I used to wear that shirt and I actually dug eating spam, fried or straight out of the can. It was fucking bomb. So not ironic at all. So not ironic for you. It wasn't ironic. It wasn't. Now that I think about it and we walk it back,

that was just like a real genuine love. What just happened? No. What just happened? You're like, you know, people don't like spam. Hawaii likes it. Actually, I like it. I mean, I wore it, it was a funny shirt, but I did actually like spam.

And it was funny to wear spam. Weirdo was like, spam is the place where I was. Okay. I love walking back to Weirdo. It was in the parody universe. It was in Hot Topic because people were buying it to be funny, like ironically. And it was a nice navy blue, if I recall. Yeah, I mean, I used to wear like vintage t-shirts that I would find at like thrift stores

of like a like Sadie Hawkins dance from like 1983. Like old t-shirt that I'm like, this is kind of funny. You know, I'm being ironic. Cool. I'm laughing. I'm laughing. But can we really just make this the freaking Hot Topic episode? Because Hot Topic held it down so fucking hard.

Oh yeah. Hot Topic was the spot. We didn't have Hot Topic. What? We didn't have it either. What? I did not even know what Hot Topic was. I pissed out.

I had a version of that. What was your answers? It was called Spencer's Gifts. But that was birthed after Hot Topic, I feel. Well, yeah, in California, but not in the Midwest. And then we also had Gadzooks was like the sort of like kooky dumb shirts with like all the Marilyn Manson kids would hang out there with like stockings on their arms. At kookies?

No, it was called Gadzooks. It was called Gadzooks. Oh, Gadzooks. It was like kooky. Gadzooks. Yeah, you get your take back, OK? Yeah. Yeah.

Don't offend me. What the fuck, Blake? I'm sorry for calling Gadzooks kookies. In the last episode, you said that I was a scab. Oh yeah, you said that last week, right? That was last week. Yeah, last week. And then this week, you're saying that it was kooky still?

I'm sorry. That's my bad. I'm pissed now. So wait, both you guys, Adam and Anders, I have a question for you. Adam and Anders. Adam and Anders, I have a question. You did not set foot into a hot topic until you came out to California? Is that to be, is that how I'm supposed to?

I would bet that Derz has never been in a hot topic to this day. I was just going to say. Yeah, they didn't sell salmon colored polos in hot topic. No, but they did sell Beastie Boy shit. I remember them having ground. Dude, hot topic used to be fucking sick. A nurse? Then you'd love it.

No, because they had real official Grand Royale shit. I believe that. But this is the worst part is that they put that next to like the limp biscuit t-shirt. The worst part? This is a little bit. Yeah, what's wrong with that? Motherfucker. The worst part.

Wait a second. You heard me. Fuck you. This was even a little bit before limp biscuits started to peek out. Chocolate store fish. We had no, we had none of these stores near me at all. You didn't have anybody representing alternative rock where you lived? We had mom and pop stores in my town.

Ew. We didn't really have, there wasn't a mall. Gross. Look. Was it like a skate shop or something? Like a mom and pop skate shop or? Like there was head shops that had that had band t-shirts and stuff. But uh, no.

Wow. We had like a downtown. We didn't have a mall. There was no cookies or uh, gadzooks? Gadzooks. Gadzooks. Stookies. Gadzooks.

I'm sure it's there now. There's nothing, there was nothing really super corny. It was like a downtown where you had like. This stuff isn't corny. It wasn't corny. That's what I'm trying to explain you guys. Oh yeah, Gears grew up in the most uncorny place. No.

No, he's talking about the corn shirts. I'm sorry. I know how corny this place is. I'm trying to tell you guys. The BC Boy shirts are nice with the corn shirts. That's fucking dope. When hot topic, when hot topic was hot and kind of leash. It wasn't corny, dude.

Thank you. Right? Yes, it was. No, it was not corny. It wasn't punk rock, but it was like close punk adjacent. Yeah. Well, see Blake, dude, you were the age that you thought it was cool. Exactly.

Sure. Drip candles. That's what that's all about. You thought it was cool. You thought it was cool. If you were 13 years old and you go in and then there's teenagers who are working there, who are 16. With spiky hair, with Knox gelatin.

Died hair, cool colors. They have like a lip piercing and spiky hair. And you're like, oh, shit. These guys are cool. And then you get to a certain age and then you realize, nah. And look, if that's what you have, that's fine. Okay. It's fine.

Durses. I've never seen him this mad before. To be real. Well, I mean, one of the best moments was when I went to my hometown hot topic, Sun Valley Mall, and saw the free Carl's shirt on the wall. That was an amazing moment for me personally. And one where I was like, all right, I did it. That's it.

Yes. That is insane. It's like returning from whence you were born. That was a beautiful moment for sure. That is a beautiful moment in your life. Yeah. And when I put on the full Durs regalia and went and stood in a J crew like a mannequin and nobody bad at an eye, Dan changed your moment for me.

Yeah. And I'm not here to talk shit on that. I'm not here to talk shit on that. That's beautiful to me. Man, I just feel like hot topic was a cultural. I guess because we could have easily gone to Berkeley. We could have drove into like this, gone to Berkeley and probably got a mind blown. You're not going to.

Which we did. Do you think there's a hot topic in Berkeley? No, they have. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, no, I know what you mean. It's a suburban like. We were sheltered. Cherry picked kind of, you know, what is going to be cool.

It's very suburban. I feel like even though you were Midwestern and I grew up in the Midwest, I feel like Conkard and Island is closer. It's we had more of a similar adolescence. Aesthetic growing up. I feel like it was very suburban, just sort of big box stores, every sort of chain restaurant you could imagine. And I love it.

Right. Like I remember when Taco Bell came to my town. What? Like there wasn't that. There were only a handful of fast food restaurants. Thank you, God. And like as I got older and as I'm now an old man. Fourth meal.

There's all sorts of chain stuff there now. You know what I mean? I guess what was wild about where Kyle and I grew up is if we wanted to get on Bart, we could have, we could go to San Francisco, Oakland. We could head out to Berkeley. It was just like we were so young. Was anybody doing that? Because that's all we did.

We would just get on the hill and ride into the city for like two hours before dinner. Not really. We weren't just going. We weren't shooting there and back unless we were going to strip club. I mean, seriously. Or to an A's game, but other than that. Yeah. Yeah, but that's when you were like 18, but when you were like 16.

No, what? No, 11 and 12, dude. No, I'm talking to, I'm talking to Kyle. Oh, them. You would ride the train when you were 11 and 12? Yes. That's awesome. Yeah.

In middle school, that's all we did. That's cool. That seems so dangerous. What is the L train like, Bart? Is it the same type of setup? What's the deal? Yeah, what's the deal? Please explain the train.

Yeah, you just get on the train. Can you tell me what is it? What makes it mean? It's like a buck or whatever. It is a buck. Back then. Why they call it the L? Why is it?

Because it's elevated. What is it called? It's called the CTA, Chicago Transit Authority, the L. That's the band Chicago, but we'll move past that. Why do they call it the L train? Why is that? Because it's elevated. Oh, shit.

So it is like Bart. Bart's elevated as well. Oh, so it's EL. So why do they call it the Bart? Because it's the Bay Area Rapid Transit. Transit, okay. Oh. Pizza, pizza.

So is yours like elevated rapid transit or LRT? Is there a smartest episode yet? Yeah, it's very rapid. Shout out to the Purple Line. Is it electric? Is it electronic? Yeah, that's right. Third rail.

Dude, yeah. Okay, same. All right. You were riding that in middle school. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Dude, that's dope. That shit's important. That's great.

What would you do? We would go to like, there'd be stores that like the older kids would tell you about and you'd just go down into the city and fucking buy pipes and fucking. Yeah, smoke and weed. Band t-shirts. Like what was this place called?

There's a place called The Alley. There we go. Okay, so that was your hot topic. Off Belmont. Yeah, but it was like a legit record store probably or something like that. Head shop record store like all the above. Yeah, okay.

And you would just go in there and like steal hacky sacks. Yeah. Okay. Put them right out of business. That was a move. Yeah, just getting that hacky sack. The alley. Put them right out of business.

If you ever spent money on a hacky sack, you're a bitch. Dude, you gotta steal that shit. You gotta steal that shit. For sure. Oh yeah. There was like a sick army surplus where you'd go in there and find some like fucking dope clothes. It was like.

Army surplus goes hard. Yeah. They had a legit New Balance collection there. I mean, there were cool, there were like homers. Which was like a cool record store in Omaha. But for the most part, especially when we were like younger, like 14, 15. And then by the time we were 16, we were driving around

and just basically finding ways to get drunk and stoned. But yeah. You figured it out. Electric. Yeah. When we were younger, it was just like you would just go to the mall and just try to wreak as much havoc as you possibly could. Straight up mall rats, dude.

Do they still exist? You were allowed to hang at the mall. That was like, you just couldn't leave the mall. You get dropped off there and you're there for two hours and you hit the Cinnabon, the hot topic, the fucking whatever, bro. Yeah. And you're just there for a few hours?

Yeah. Fucking mall rats. Hit up Godzooks. I had one friend who, his mom dropped us off at a mall and it was, we went up to, we went, hit Sparrow for the first time when I was like nine. Oh, damn. Sparrow.

There's a nine. Nine years old. That seems so young. Oh my God. And there was like a glass elevator for the first time. Oh my God. What the hell? This glass elevator.

I'm a generation X. So it's just different. You're like a real working elevator. It's not a pulley system. But listen, where's the operator? It was, there were glass elevators in 1989 or whatever, or 1990. A glass elevator was like a whole new thing.

Yeah. Yeah. You're not wrong. That was cool. Like when you could see yourself going up and down, that's fucking sick. What are you guys, 80 years old? Like I just remember my first glass elevator.

Blake, shut the fuck up. Blake, shut the fuck up. You're as old as all of us, OK? You're the, we're the same age. And the fact that you can't understand and like put your mind in a place where you can get off on a fucking glass elevator. Blake has been swallowing his teenage Kool-Aid for too long where he's like, I was just, I was, I was actually,

I'm only 14 years old right now. Right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is what I'm saying. Never in my life did I. My hat has an A's upside down. Yeah. I grew up loving little Yachty and little Sam.

And all the little, those are my boys. Hey, shout out little Sam. No, dude, I never had it in my mind. Kodak Black is actually a huge influence on me coming out. I never blocked a fucking glass elevator. That was just an elevator. Wait, no, fuck off. What the fuck are you talking about?

I remember seeing it and me having my mind blown. Fuck you, dude. What? No, I'm, I'm, I'm with the three of us right here. Yeah, this is fucking actually making me upset. I remember being at a double tree. I remember being at a double tree in Waterloo, Iowa as a young boy. And there was, it was like a big lobby in a glass elevator that would go right up the middle.

And I remember just being like, this is fucking insane. The future Lincoln Wood Town Center. I'm like, why don't they make all elevators like this? It's not even about, it's, it's like, it doesn't even matter when it came out. You know what I mean? Like right now I could get on a glass elevator and watch myself go up and fucking see it. And I'm like, this is dope. I'm being risen by a mechanized platform.

Kyle, I'm with you. I'm with you. Kyle was raised by a glass elevator. I'm with you, but something, but something was a little different. In the early, in the early 90s, when the glass elevators really came on the scene. I don't know how you're not getting involved with this, dude. We're talking the 90s, man. Oh man.

Glass elevators. Did anybody beat off in a glass elevator? Bro, you could spy on people, you could spy on people in the glass elevators. When you would see a couple making out and you'd be on the floor and you're like, they're making out in the elevator. Oh my god. You just have to beat off. Bro, you're beating off.

Thank you, God. That's the first glass elevator I was in. The first one I ever saw was in Commando starring Arnold Schwarzenegger when he's in the chase scene in the mall. Why do you guys have such a fucking memory for glass elevators? Because it was the future, dude. Yeah, this is big shit right here. It was like seeing an iPhone.

It seemed unsafe and yet it was safe. I just, it wasn't something that amazed me or tickled my fancy. That's weird. I liked Hot Topic. Dude, I just, I miss mall culture. It's been so long since I've been in a mall where it just like everything sort of just smells like the popcornopolis or the pretzels. The wetzel pretzels.

The wetzel pretzels still is such a fucking hammer, dude. It's heartburned. Did you guys fuck up? There was Orange Julius that was like the staple of our mall. It was right on the corner. It was right next to a Mrs. Fields. We didn't have one. And that Orange Julius was just fucking banging.

That was the move. You get an Orange Julius, you get a Mrs. Fields cookie, and you do a couple hot laps, dude. My move would be I would see a bunch of hot chicks and then I was the, I was the one that would have enough to go talk to them, but they wouldn't say that I was into them because I was too chicken shit to do that. And I'd go up and be like, hey, what's up, cute girls?

My friends over there like you. And then my friends would end up talking to them. And then my friends would end up making out with them in like a changing room at a JC Penney. Okay, so yes, the mall would be the place where, because usually when you were in high school or junior high or whatever, the girls you talked to were the girls you went to school with, but the mall was where all the schools came to one place.

So you would see girls. I was like boys and girls that you didn't see every day at school. Yes. You'd be like, man, these guys are handsome from that other school. We can't compete. Dude, I remember this vividly. Look at those flat brands. I met this girl that went to a different middle school, right?

We were in eighth grade. Go off. And we were talking and then we became AOL buddies and we would instant message each other, right? Oh, damn. And then she told me that she wanted to see my penis. Oh, damn. Get hard.

Goodbye. What? And so she wanted to see it get hard. And you were like, it's already hard. She's like, I really want to see it. Wait, she didn't want to see it hard. She wanted to see it get hard. She wanted to see it get hard.

She wanted to watch it go from soft to hard. Did you tell her, no, you don't want to see that? No, no, no. She's probably like a scientist now, huh? But I was like, it was kind of exciting. It was kind of exciting. Scientists. And then we saw each other.

She's a scientist probably now. Yeah, it was cool. I'm sure she's a doctor or scientist or something. Yeah, it's very interesting to watch it change. I think she's probably on the forefront. Fauci probably. Danielle Fauci. Then we saw her at like a soccer tournament.

And I remember thinking, and she came up and was talking to me. And then I remember thinking the whole time, like, she's going to want to see my dad at this science. It is. At this soccer tournament. Like she really, she was like, it's me like trying to like wiggle it in my jeans to try to like make sure it's not going from completely. Not hard.

Why were you wearing jeans at a soccer tournament? You played soccer in jeans? I was on plane. I was on plane. It was my friends were playing. Who's there scooping ladies? Scooping ladies. Yeah.

And then, and then obviously nothing happened, but things could go down at the mall. I had friends make out with girls at JC Penney changing rooms. Things could happen. That's cool. That's cool. Oh, that was way cool. I definitely feel like I missed out.

Yeah. You didn't do mall culture. No, we just didn't have one. I mean, there was one in other town over, but you would go there to go see movies. And that was kind of it. Or like to go shopping with your mom, because that was like the department store.

Movies in malls was very weird for me. We didn't have that growing up. Those were separate. So once I started seeing movies in malls, I did not understand that. You had to tow the line there? I did not get that. You didn't understand it?

Not for me. No, no, they were separate. Wait, what? Yeah, those are separate things. Do I have to shop? That should be a Dillard's. Yeah, it just seems like it's, yeah, it doesn't make sense. It seems like you don't want to spend like six hours

at the mall watching a movie. Lord and Taylor and movies? Yeah, no, JC Penney and movies. No, this is not happening. That's not good. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University.

And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident?

Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast

to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it.

What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal

on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte of Bridgerton's story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me, because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast,

we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel. Listen to the leaps executive producer and series director, Tom Verica, took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes.

She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte of Bridgerton's story with the creatives, the cast,

and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, Thursdays on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. The movies at the mall, I liked, because then your mom could go when you were young, and she could just drop you at the movie. Yes.

And then she's like, okay, they're going to go watch Ninja Turtles or whatever. And then you could sneak into some older shit, and you could go watch some more R-rated shit. Oh, movie hopping, goddamn. Because she's not there with you. And she would, she'd bail to go to her JC Penney's to try on her blouses, or get her hair did,

or whatever she was doing at the mall, and then you're able to go get your fucking freak on, baby. She was at Red Robin drinking, yeah. Just pounding. By movie hopping. Your mom was, she was just having a coffee at the Barnes and Noble Starbucks. Oh, damn.

I love the good Barnes and Noble Starbucks. So we're talking about a time pre-Starbucks, by the way, which is fucking insane to think about. Okay, what? Come on. I remember getting taken on my first Starbucks date by a junior when I was a freshman. She was like, let's go get a Frappuccino.

And I was like, yeah. I know what that means. Yeah, for sure. I know what that means. She was like, it's called Starbucks. It's really cool. She takes me. I go there and she's like, hey, to call the Frappuccino,

I drink it. I hate coffee, obviously, still to this day. And was like, I'm good. And she was like, what? And I just like ruined the date. I think I dated her for like two months before she was like, this guy sucks. Wait, what do you mean dated her?

Like you guys just like. Yeah, what is dating? Wait, hold on. So wait, so let's rewind this back a little bit. She was a junior and you were a freshman. This is like a pretty big move here. Yeah, that's huge. Dude, it was crazy.

She would pick me up to take me to swim practice. I think I might have been like a little boy toy for her. I don't know. Weird wild stuff. In the morning? Yeah. Was she a babe or when you look back, are you kind of like, she was a little bit of a treasure troll

or you don't want to throw any shade on her? Sure. I haven't seen her for a while, but like she was. She was, yeah. Yeah, I can't read them. She was having trouble reading them. She was pretty hot. Yeah, I don't know where.

There we go. Wait, so wait. Yeah, he had to float. I didn't know. I didn't know where he was going to go with that. I would say, is she a little bit of a treasure troll? And he was like, I was like, well, is she? She was from like older guys.

I was getting a lot of like you. Not like, no, no, no, not lot. It was kind of more like, what the fuck is, huh? You? Why? Wait, are we allowed to ask? We can edit this out. Were you guys banging?

No, no. You could say that nicer next time, Blake. You know what I mean? Okay, okay. Use a different word or something that's just left. Were you guys making love? Thank you. Yeah, let's just put some love back into this.

No, but coincidentally, this is the Discovery Zone story. Yeah, same person. Discovery Zone. So what do you think it was? Why was she interested in young Dursey? Because you did have a mouthful of gangly teeth. Great ass! Hey, let's take a look.

Come on, Dursey's, leave him. His personality is fantastic. Yeah, I don't know. His personality is, his personality. Yeah, when she gave him coffee, he was like, no, I don't like that. She was like, what? I mean, were you in like a class with her or what? Yeah, he was a young gentleman.

He was a young man who spoke his mind. I'm just saying, Kyle, I'm not, you know, the freshman to junior is a big leap. I know. You're right. I've forgotten. Sorry. There were two things that put me around upperclassmen.

The first was as a freshman, I was in the, like, the all-school comedy show and there's only like- Yammo. That's right. Shout out, Yammo. And there's only- The name of the store atom lives. There's like three or four freshmen and then that's it.

There's way more sophomores, juniors and seniors, right? So you're kicking it with seniors and juniors and going to their parties and stuff. Okay. So you're kind of in their social circles a little bit. Yeah. I have a similar story. Yeah.

We were in the improv crew and that's how I met all, like, the seniors and shit. Yeah. And then as far as like swimming, I was also like one of the fastest guys as a freshman. Okay, go off. So you got that jock mode. All right.

Okay. Let's go. It's a funny hunk. Well, I had the theater and the jock mode. Yeah. Mine was student council and drama and improv and that kind of stuff. That's how I got to know older kids.

You were getting your frappuccinos? No, I was, no girls liked me for sure. I was like the little cripple kid, but older kids definitely wanted to get me drunk. Like that, I think was like people was like, it would be hilarious if we got divine drunk. So I was always that like freshman kid that they would take to senior parties and everyone was.

Allegedly. The difference between a freshman and a senior is- Starts with the penis. It starts with the penis. It definitely started at the penis. Yeah, that is crazy because you can have 13. Your boobs are huge. I was such a child and they're like 18-year-old kids

teaching me how to beer bong. Can you be 13 when you start high school? Is that a thing or are you 14 pretty much? Sure. You can be eight. Well, if you're a smart- Yeah, dookie-houser. If you're a freaking genius.

Yeah, I wasn't. I wasn't that it was not my affliction. So I think I think I was 14. And that's why you never rocked affliction. It is wild that you mentioned that, Ders, because I kind of forgot that we did kind of see the birth of coffee shops in our neighborhood too. I remember we had this place called Moca Lisa.

Oh, so this is cool to you, but the glass elevators is not? No, no, dude, it was really weird that way. No, no! There's always been coffee shops. No, I love glass elevators. It was such a weird thing where going to a coffee shop was this fucking cool thing to do as a young high school student. Yeah, high school people feel like they were grown-ups.

Yeah, it was weird. It absolutely did. And it was just like a sense of freedom. Like to go do your homework there? Yeah, you could like bring your skateboard there and then skate in the back of the coffee shop or whatever and smoke some ciggies. It was way before it was like monopolized.

It was crazy. You could actually, I remember some of my first public cigarettes where I was like, I'm smoking this, I don't care. We're in front of a coffee shop, for sure, with older kids because I could hand it to them if anybody rolled up and they would give me the fucking ciggies. We definitely didn't hang out at a lot of coffee shops. We would hang out at restaurants where it was like zero dollars to eat there.

Buffalo Wild Wings. Yeah, there's a lot of Buffalo Wild Wings, honestly. But then the first one, it was like a lot of, there was a Chinese restaurant that they just didn't care what the shit we did. So you could get a plate of fried rice for 80 cents. You just eat a fucking bucket of fried rice and sit there and then sit there for like four hours.

The cost of diarrhea. And just like, you know, play cards or whatever. And you're like, I'll take another one. Play cards and eat fried rice. Another round. Dude, kids are so cool. Just imagine being a grown-ass man eating 80 cent fried rice playing cards with your homies.

You just haven't figured out. Is that place still open? No, it ended up giving like everybody food poisoning. Like someone died, I think. Yeah, they shut it down. It was like, I think someone legit died from eating their food. Right. That happened to us when we were in, when we moved to the valley.

We found that really cheap. Like, do you guys remember that fried rice spot? And we all got it and we all got sick. Do you guys remember that fried rice spot? Not that Chinese restaurant. It was the fried rice. It was like 99 cent fried rice and we got it. It seems real.

It was when we, it was when we shot, it's, we're eating it. And you guys are eating it in the beginning of the proto, not the proto tanks sketch, the one, uh, like dude's house or something. It's where you're eating, it's in bed, the fortune cooking. Oh yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Classic.

That was, uh, Yeah, you guys are scarfing on it at the beginning of that. That's the fried rice I'm thinking of. It was so bad. Right. I remember that being pretty good. Yeah, it was delicious. It tasted good, but it fucked you up in the long run, I think.

Whatever, man. I'll take it. Do you remember when we found out that MSG was the ingredient? Cause we were like, on a lot of Chinese restaurant stalls, there'll be like a sign that says like no MSG, because I guess that used to be a thing back in the day that Chinese restaurants were known for putting MSG,

which is a, like a, kind of like a salt, like a spice that you put on into food that, uh, it makes you like almost addicted to that food. It opens your taste buds up. And it, and makes it just taste fucking delicious. And you're like, oh, I got to keep eating this. Yeah. So we got to.

Producers also please put in facts. What it actually is. Uh, we got, uh, we got these MSG, the spice. Do you remember that? And then we were putting it on our food. I remember this very well. Oh yeah. It comes in cubes.

No, ours, it was like a salt shaker. Yeah. We went to a weird ass like 99 cent store cause we, we were so bored. I feel like it was like a big loss. Yeah, maybe. And they had like a straight up shaker of MSG. What the, I don't, I had this crazy memory of it being

a big loss. I think it was like a big loss. And we got a spice set and MSG was there. And we put it on everything. And then we call it the flavor enhancer. Was it off the chain? And guess what it was. Oh yeah, I do.

Yeah. Yeah. We used to throw it on popcorn. It was fucking off the charts. Monosodium glutamate. We used to pour it in our energy drinks, dude. And we're fine. Adam just had to piss crystals, but.

Oh yeah. Will you read that description, Adam, right there? The basic sensory function of MSGA is attributed to its ability to enhance savory taste, active compounds when added in the proper concentration. It sounds perfect. Well, why, why the fuck, what's so bad about it though? Why is it outlawed?

I have no idea. Because it's, it does, it like truly makes you addicted to that thing. So what? It's like an additive that isn't an actual food. So I think people were like turned off by it. Now we were turned on by it. Maybe there's a medical issue because there, it could constrict the blood vessels or something too much.

Well, it does have the word sodium in the word, in monosodium. So maybe it's bad. Hey, Blake, nice catch. Go ahead. Thank you. So maybe it is, I don't know. Good catch. Wow.

Good catch. Keep going. Yeah. And sodium is bad because why? Good guess. Sodium. Constrict your blood vessels. You are sodium.

It constricts your blood vessels. I think it constricts. Oh, give them points. Give them points. I'm trying. You are sodium. Yes, points. Thank you.

Yes, points. That was a good one. Good wonders. You are sodium. I don't know. Yeah, it all I know is like sodium. You are sodium. I just caught that.

The chunk was real. I just caught it. You got to do the lady's voice. Will you play it? Do you have it anymore on the board? You are sodium. It's not a lady, by the way. It's a really cool guy.

Even better. Even? No, I don't have it anymore. I'm sorry. Dang. I guess I'll have to live as that for the rest of the podcast. Yeah. Hi, I'm David Eagleman.

I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities.

Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or, what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder,

and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. This child was laying on the side of the road.

It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive?

Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you guys remember Fazzoli's, which was like fast Italian food? And they would give you, if you would buy like, it was like a $3.99 salad, they would give you unlimited breadsticks. So like the thing was, if you bought food, they would bring you unlimited breadsticks. So we would just get like a soda, a $3.99 salad,

and then sit there for like five hours and just eat breadsticks and go in the car and smoke weed and come back and continue to eat breadsticks. And so finally they were like, you guys have to buy. And then there was like, they put a new sign saying that you have to buy new food every hour. And we were fucking pissed at that. Shut up, bitch.

Fuck that noise. I kind of remember pulling some shit like that at like soup plantation or any kind of bottomless. One person would get it and then like you'd hop over, you'd buy one plate and then you would share off the plate. Now you noticed that there's not a lot of soup plantations anymore. Do you think it's because the title is the worst? There's a plantation in the title.

What were they thinking? What are they thinking? Like for sure. What were they thinking soup plantation? Dummy. The worst. Just called the soup factory. Yeah, it was bad.

I wanted to go to soup plantation and play Dungeons and Dragons with some homies for like 12 hours at a soup plantation. That would have been so sick. That would have been cool. R.I.P. Adam, your Italian restaurant just reminded me that the place we would hang out wherever there was a permission wall, which is where like the company or the business would let you

paint graffiti on the back of their business. What? What? That's some shy town shit. So shout out to Dave's Italian Kitchen. Okay. We would just go there, smoke weed. Big shout out to Dave's.

Some people would be like putting up a piece of graffiti and we would just watch. And people would be like doing skateboard tricks that they couldn't land. That's the best kind of. Just like hanging out. Just flipping tricks. Nobody sticks.

And being like and like trading CDs and shit. It's bookland shit, dude. Yeah, exactly. Teenagers now just hang out at like Starbucks, right? Like that's where you hang out on the internet. On Call of Duty. Yeah, it's all digital. Metaverse.

In the metaverse, probably. I mean, we're not far off. Yeah, I think they do hang out. But they have to see each other in person because they got to get the like hand jobs and stuff. And you know, finger bangs. I don't think they care. I think they'd rather beat off at home the way they can.

What? And then just have their friends. Do you think because they all got the oculus riffs and it's too good? It's got to be so. Well, I don't know. Can you do that? Can you oculus yourself?

What do you mean? Well, I'm saying talk into each other. Oh, sure. Can you see yourself though? Yeah, you can. You can have an avatar, can't you? Yeah, you can. Like when you're hanging, you're beating off

to a fucking Sonic the Hedgehog character. Yeah, exactly. But it's not the same. I wonder if it'll be like where you're fucking each other. Like if you have a girl and you're like, you know what, it's too big of a hassle to get in a car and drive over there. And it's like too much of a thing. If you guys could just both put on your oculus.

And it's sort of like that scene in Demolition Man where it's just like sensory overload. You know, check, she would love this. Go ahead. I wonder if that's something to eat now. I think we're on the verge. I mean, that's possible, right? Yeah, that's possible.

That's absolutely possible. The tech is there because they're doing things like, they're doing things where you can wear a sleeve and then your doctor is like checking on how you're doing physical therapy. Like say you have a fucked up knee or something like that. You can put a sleeve on. Sure. And then so if you just put that on your dig.

It's science. By the way, I love how they're like the people who made it are like, yeah, we invented this for doctors and they're just waiting for porno to pick it up. Oh, because porno is the front of tech. Because then it is just around the riverbank. So doctors, this is for you or whatever else is out there. I don't know. Yeah, porno is tech, right?

We do have the patent on it and it's for doctors. Now, it's science. If anyone else wants to get involved. Anybody at all. Or maybe brazzers. I'm not really sure what else it could be used for. Doctors, brazzers, whoever. You know how doctors really need to grip things and squeeze, you know?

That's crazy. Like, you know, the tanga egg was originally like a disposal or something. Like, yeah, you just throw away the thing into here. You tie it up and then something was like, you can stick your dick in. It's a portable garbage bag. It can expand. You could jerk off into this egg.

If you ever get seasick while on a boat, you just open this little egg. It's a contraption for you. You breathe into it and you can push your dick in. It's a silicone. And then some some lonely sailor was like, wait a minute. Thank you, God. You're a wild stuff. Some lonely sailor or any man.

Do I make you honey, buddy? I like that that it only took us 30 or so minutes to get into porno on this episode. We really, that's maybe the longest one that we've had. Yeah, I'm proud of us. Best episode yet. I'm really proud of us. Proud. Was that something that didn't porno decide Blu-ray's fate?

Blu-ray and like HDDVD or something like that? And VHS. And VHS. No, porno decides the tech. Did you guys not know this? Because it absolutely does. Beta was a better format, but they didn't want porno to use it at all. So then porno was like, fine, we're going to go with VHS.

And then VHS became the thing. And then Beta Max got phased out. And then it came down to Blu-ray and HDDVD. And porno went Blu-ray and HDDVD went the way of. Bye bye. Whatever people say. Oh my God. Well, I kind of always thought Beta Max like wasn't the I it was what made it a better technology.

To me, I just was like, maybe it's like kind of a shitty. Well, I think it was just the magnetic tape. I think it's just the magnetic tape on the inside. Like first of all, don't call it Beta. I feel like my max. I feel like my dad would read that and be like, I'm no fucking Beta Max. I'm an Alpha Max. What?

Yeah. That was before Beta Alpha. Whereas VHS gets your pecker hard. VHS is much cheaper, much shittier resolution, and they broke easy. Beta Max was a much more robust medium. And I believe Sony made Beta Max and they had the patent on it. So you could it was either like Sony or Sanyo. And those are the only companies that made it.

Whereas like the VHS was like an open platform for everybody else. Yeah. Magnavox. Yeah. RCA. RCA. A1. Hey, Zenith.

Zenith. Zenith. Zenith was sick. Zenith was sick, bro. I remember high tech. Teak. Like do you, if your TV breaks now, do you get a TV repair man? Is that even a job anymore?

Or you just buy a new. It can't be, right? You just buy a new TV. I was thinking of that the other day. I was like, if this TV were to break, I would just buy a new TV. I wouldn't even, there's, I remember specifically on multiple occasions, a TV repair man coming to the house. I remember our VCR breaking.

My dad took it to the VCR repair man. I'm like, that doesn't fucking exist anymore. Well, cause a lot of the times for old TVs, there was a bulb in there, correct? So like if the bulb was all fucked up, you had to like open it up and replace that. And then VHS sometimes the tape would get caught. So you'd have to take it somewhere to get it out. Yep. Or you'd have to, he'd have to clean the heads.

Remember that shit? Right. The fucking. Did you guys have the, the little red sports car that would rewind the tapes for? Yes, I did. Oh yeah, baby. Room. Room, baby.

Wow. That must be the glass elevator generation. Cause I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, homeboy. You didn't have a rewinder? No, fuck no. It was a specific machine to rewind. Yeah. So you didn't fuck your heads up on your VCR.

No, we didn't. It would go hella fast and then slow down towards the end. So it didn't slow. Oh, so sick. I did not have, that was a luxury. Oh, come on. It looks like a little red sports car. Little red COVID.

Yeah. Yes, puns. Baby, rewind so fast. Oh, wow. Hey, wow. God damn. No, that was a luxury. We didn't have that in my home.

I don't believe that. I want to say that if you just let it ride, like you didn't turn your movie off or whatever, when it got to the end of the tape, it would just automatically. Automatically rewind. If you had a nice VCR. It advanced to that. Like eventually every VCR did that, but I think that was a sick ass new addition. I don't know if her's dead.

Wow. Wow. Hey, it's been a while, huh guys? I got some VHS tapes within two feet of me. Okay, reach for it. What is it? What do we got, brother? My parents threw away on their move.

They moved to Lake of the Ozarks from Omaha, Nebraska. On their move, they threw away all their old VHSs. Because I was like, oh, maybe, I was like, let me dig through your old VHSs when I was at home visiting them this past year. And they had none. I was pretty salty about it. They didn't have this? What's he got?

What is that? Best of backyard wrestling? Why do you have that? Oh my God, dude. They didn't have this? Best of a backyard wrestling? Wow. They didn't have that.

Are me and Blake on that? Yeah. Future Kings of the Ring. If you guys are on this, fucking kudos. Dude, is HCW Concord represented? There's a 100% chance that they're not. Yeah, no. Well, I can still.

Our show's got a weak core, but. Yeah. Well, we were all about the stories in the documentary. Yeah, less about the wrestling. So you're telling me Jack Hammer is not represented on there? Yeah, where's Jack Hammer, man? Okay. Okay.

Good night. Yeah, okay. Hey. Yeah, what about Jimmy Moon? I love that era where you could just, they would play commercials of like planes crashing and all that shit. And they're like, order now and get 20 tapes. And you're like, oh, yeah, sports blue.

I mean, we covered it, but girls gone wild. Girls gone wild. Yeah. You know the guy who made these tapes? Billionaire. Billionaire. Backyard billionaire right there, brother. I was talking with Chloe the other day about something we had mentioned on a podcast

about like Dwarf, like Dwarf Gone Fish. Dwarf on golf, dude. Dwarf on golf. Dwarf on golf. And then Tim Conway. And she for sure didn't know who Tim Conway was or who Dwarf is. And I'm like, yeah, I get that. Dwarf is kind of a deal.

No. Dwarf's a deep cut, but I'm like, you know, Ernest. She doesn't know Ernest, dude. No way. Of course not. Of course not. That's too bad. Well, that's your job.

She doesn't know Ernest. Yeah, you need to sit through them again. Yeah. That's your job. No one to make. Dwarf is a pull for even us. You only know the commercials really. Dwarf ain't funny, man.

Ernest is. Hey, that statement will haunt you. Yeah. I want all the beef with Dwarf. I only know it because my grandfather, or my step-grandfather, he was a golfer. And so we had a bunch of Dwarf on golf, like tapes around. Right.

And he'd be like, here, watch this and leave us alone. And then I'd watch it. And I love weird wild stuff. We can't talk about Dwarf on this part. I said I'd leave, I'm leaving. You said what? What's up? We'll talk about it for a minute.

You come back. Go make a sandwich or some shit. Yeah, Dwarf was always at the doctor's office. I feel like it's just the dude on his knees in the shoes. It was at the doctor's office. We watched it every time we went to the fucking doctor's office. Tim Conway, was he laughing? Tim Conway was laughing, I think, in Apple dumpling gang.

By the way, it's pretty smart to make a golf series. Because then you're getting invited around the world to play in those tournaments and shit. That's smart. He knew what he was doing. Yeah, it's a nice life. You want in on the most deep cut, funniest golf video ever made? Nah, I'm good.

VHS style? No, I do, yeah, what up? Leslie Nielsen, Bad Golf My Way, check it out. It's impossible to find. You'll never see it. Maybe check out on YouTube. What was it again? Couldn't hear it.

Couldn't hear it. What was it? Leslie Nielsen. What is it? What is it? Me and Dwarfs don't want to hear it. Just tell Kyle. Just tell Kyle.

Me and Dwarfs don't want to hear it. You can, there were two VHS's, Bad Golf My Way and Bad Golf Made Easier. Everybody go on YouTube. I'm very aware of these because we grew up together and we used to watch them together. And they do. Leslie Nielsen was the fucking shit.

We used to watch. You loved Leslie Nielsen. He really was. I like, he's, what? He was your... Leslie Nielsen. Is that Brigitte Nielsen's sister? Wait, who's talking?

I thought we were talking. Yeah, I thought we had some time to ourselves. Who's fucking talking? Time's up. Time's up. Oh, they're back. Time's up. Whoops, sorry about it.

And we're back. Adam, doesn't Zach have a Leslie Nielsen tattoo, which is the hardest tattoo ever? Yes. The best man at my wedding, my friend Zach Leonardo. Legend made. You could follow him on Instagram. I wish I was pizza.

Pizza, pizza. He has a tattoo of Leslie Nielsen on his calf, I believe. Really good. That's his only tattoo that is like a realistic tattoo. It looks just, I mean, the guy did a great job. It looks just like Leslie Nielsen. Every other tattoo, you're like, what is this? Yeah.

From Naked Gun or from airplane? It just looks like a scary movie. Is this a scary movie? I think it's from Badgolf My Way. I think it's from Badgolf My Way, Deep Cut. Buzzing, buzzing frog. It might have been Badgolf My Way. I think it's Naked Gun, what the tattoo is.

Fine hard. From the producers of Dorfong Golf is Badgolf My Way. Are there any takebacks, any giveaways, any epic slams this part? It's been a while since we've epic slammed anybody. Slammed, slams, takebacks. Slams, slams. Hey, I'm going to slam Blake for wearing the exact same outfit that he wore on the last podcast.

My bad, dude. Dude, you must fucking be a stinky person. Yeah, you must stink, dude. That's why I apply hella old spice to this. Dude, I think I'm like having like a weird... We were talking about Chinese food so much that I swear to God, my house smells like Chinese food. I'm the only one here.

That's your upper lip. I might be having a stroke or something, but you smell like toast when you're having a stroke, not Chinese food. No, it's Chinese food. Orange chicken. He had one of us have a stroke on the podcast. God, that'd be good.

That'd be good for ratings. Yeah, I heard before you have a stroke, you smell orange chicken. Yeah, yeah. I would be crying, dude. If I saw you go down, homie, I'd be like fucking, oh my God. You'd be bummed. I would be so real bummed. Who would be the most bummed, do we think,

out of the four of us, if I were to just die? The most bummed. I guess if I could see your face while you were passed out, I think I would start crying. If I could see your face, if you fell backwards and passed out, like that, and it was not moving, I think that would fucking send me into a tailspin. Are we talking about who would be the most bummed immediately

or like a week later, kind of smoke's sort of cleared, some people are getting over it. What happened? Like who stays the most bummed? No, I guess we're talking about like immediately, like who's the most bummed. Kyle. I'm scared.

I'm scared out of my mind. Kyle. I'm scared out of my mind. Hey, and that's another episode of... It's a bagel. Epic slam. What's this? Fire away, my leech.

Fire away. See you next week. Allegedly. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans?

So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning,

and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to Season 2 of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972,

six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can, sign Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.