This Is Important - EP 87: Banking And Med School: 4 Dummies

Episode Date: May 31, 2022

Today, this is what's important: Air bong rips, overdraft fees, big titted tellers, church lock-ins, being covid positive, the metric system, Big Razor, types of doctors, beards, and more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw it in a folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart radio, the show where we talk about what's

obviously most critically, crucially important. Today on This Is Important. Wow, I'm like really knowledgeable about the vagina. I can just remember the parts very well. Fuck you. I smoke weed. I smoke cigarettes. I've been smoking for years. I'm Kyle. If I was a woman, I wouldn't be a big titted woman. I'd be a big ass woman. I ain't putting on a brasier. It's not happening. And here we go. Oh man. Kyle Token. Did you just fucking rip it, dude? He just ripped an airbong and didn't make the noise. What do you mean? Yes, I did. I didn't hear. I made the noise. Did you guys hear it? I didn't hear it. Let's hear it. Wait, is there like a airbong, like air guitar championships?

There should be. I feel like in weed culture, they embraced everything. Let's see if Kyle would be on it. Let's hear it. Do you not hear that? No. We don't. We definitely don't hear anything. No. Okay, hold on. Let me turn up the dial, I guess, because I'm fucking doing it. This is the best part. Yeah, turn up the dial because I want to hear you air rip it, Kyle. We've done it before. Let's see if you've improved. Yeah, let's hear it, Kyle. Oh, it's a slight one. It's a baby. It's a baby rip. Okay. Oh, shit. I cannot believe you can't hear that. Hey, slide in Kyle's DMs with your airbong rip videos and send them to Kyle. We'll pick one and give you a mention in the retweets. Smoking. Yeah, and I mean, those were loud. If those were not like loud,

just turn them up, Todd. You know what I mean? Turn them up real quick. Crank that shit up. Yeah, because they were loud over here. Blast that shit. Don't tell Todd what to do. Kyle, do one more. Why do I have to do it again? I don't want to do it again. I don't want to do it anymore. Now you can hear me. We want people to know how quiet it was for us and how we couldn't hear it. And then now Todd's going to turn this one up and I wanted them to hear how much you rip, Doug. Oh, okay. Here we go. Here we go, man. Crank that bitch up. Oh. Damn, we're coming on fire today. Why do I always say coming on fire? He just choked. Oh, boy, look at this guy.

He just choked. He's choking. It's everywhere. It's everywhere. It's on the microphone. I have green tea on my whole fucking setup right now. Yolk on your face. Oh, shit, dude. Damn, bro. I saw your life flash before your eyes. That shit caught a tube or something. I don't know what the fuck happened. I'm sorry I did that, too. I kind of pressured you into that one. I knew I didn't want to go again. You're right. But you know what, Adam, that's what happens. You can pressure me into doing things and then I do them. And sometimes I get hurt. And other times you have a great time. Yeah. Right. Right. Would you say that's your guy's relationship? Yeah. But it's like when we were

roommates and you used to say, come on, let's go to Vegas. Let's go to Vegas, Vegas. And I had no money in my ATM. Yeah. Well, none of us did. In my account. And then, you know, you end up leaving with like fucking six overdrafts. And I'm in the hole even harder, you know? But do you remember do you remember those overdrafts as much as you remember us being the party police? Being blackout drunk. Yeah, anguish. I mean, to a point, I remember our times together in Vegas. But there is more than those overdraft fees. And by the way, how much do you think you racked up in overdraft fees? Oh, I just overdrafted yesterday. What? I fucked up. Yeah. Give me a call, man. We'll talk. We'll have my guy send some money. Blake, we have the same business manager. What's

going on there? Is he dropping the ball for you? Do we got a call? Yeah, but I have a little secret like a little Wells Fargo account that I go to and overdraft when I want to feel, you know, that feeling again. Okay. This is bizarre. Okay, let's go. Okay, let's go. And what did you overdraft on? It has to be something. When you overdraft, you want it to be something cool where you're just like, you know what, fuck it, I just bought a pinball machine. Yeah. Right. A fur coat. Yeah. Right. A fur pinball machine. A fur pinball machine. Yeah, mine's just like, I got the house cleaner. Just cast a check when I didn't expect it to happen. What has happened? But also like how much you should have in your, like I have like my

checking account that just has like a few G's and then there's like the other one that never even touched, right? Okay. So what's going on with your little, why do you have? This is actually the Wells, my very, very, very first bank account that I ever opened in Concord, California. Me too. Okay, we get it. We get it. I have the same thing as well. It was my college. I opened it when I was 18 when I first moved to California in my Wells Fargo. I also, it has a place in my heart because I love Wells Fargo. Me too. I love that they are known for ripping people off. Extremely known, yeah. And class action lawsuit. Hey, they got big titty tellers too. Do they? Do they? It's been a while since I've been inside. Dude, are you still going to the bank? Dude, when we had workaholics

and I would go cash those big, big checks in Van Nuys, those first workaholic ones. Dang, those big titty tellers were like, what's up? What are you working on? What's I admittedly, I remember that exact same thing. I went in, we might have gone in together, excited to cast our checks. And I remember, I remember those big titty tellers being like, uh, yo, what's up? Verbatim? Like, because we've been going in, catching like $400 checks. Yeah, no, we were coming in there to cash in quarter rolls and they're like, okay, here come these guys. Blake used to count his, literally count nickels and then take in a little sack of nickels and get like $23. Which is a lot of nickels, turns out. It is. And then we went in and cashed a check for like,

I don't know, $8,000 or something. That fucking blew their mind. Some grousons. Mother fucking grousons. And both of them said mail order comedy on them. They're like, what's this little startup company? Take a guess. Why don't you take a guess? Take a guess. What do you think it is? Those big titty tellers looked at us and were like, we work. Yeah, baby. I think it's the uniforms because I do remember going to the one over on Fairfax and Beverly right there. And I don't know if the titties were big or if it's like, but some they're, it's a problem. It's a problem. I don't know where to swipe my ATM card. Oh, wow. Holy mackerel. Well, we all know that Wells Fargo has done shady stuff in the past,

right? So do we think, yeah, they were like, they were, are they overdrafting my shit? They were opening accounts for people without their like full knowledge of opening accounts, and then they would have cured charges because it had no money in it. Oh, for, I think they did it for me, honestly. I think I had one that was open that I was like, huh? Yeah, they did it for like thousands of people. And it's like a huge class action lawsuit against them. And I'm saying that like, I know what the fuck it is, but Right. Wall Street Journal for sure. Dude, I'm impressed, bro. I'm hella impressed at your knowledge of Wells.

Yeah, dude. This is the Wolf of Wall Street out of our friend group. Yeah, man. That's me. And so maybe they do other shady shit, like only hiring big titted tellers. Dude, I believe it. Like someone at the top is like a little bit of a creep. And is that shady? I don't know. Shady or cool. Who knows, but also I would say it's shady. It's perspective. Wells Hooters. What lens are you looking through? Because if I was a woman, I wouldn't be a big titted woman. I'd be a big ass woman. Yeah, you would.

They all work at USAA Redacks. You don't think you'd have a cancer? How can you know? You don't think you'd have a good rack if you were a girl? God, I wonder. Well, you look at the women in your family. Yeah, I look at mother women. Is that, but yeah, but aren't, don't boobs vary for... Yeah, I think that moves.

I think that changes. No, just speaking for myself, I would be up top two bee stings. That's what I would be. And down bottom, okay. Your boobs are huge. I'm pretty sure I'd know for a fact I'd be stacked. Yeah, your boobs are huge. No, you would have big old titties, but no ass. You'd be like, you'd be, you'd walk a little funny.

No, Kyle's boobs would hang so low though. The thin skin? Kyle's boobs would hang. Well, that's because I'm not wearing a bra. That's because I ain't wearing a bra, bro. Yeah. No, you're free, you're free in the nipple. You're part of the free the nipple movement. Hey, cool.

You only on special occasions. Yeah. Special occasions, all right? That's what's up. There we go. And Ders has boobs. Yeah, that's why I haven't weighed in yet. I'm just like, your boobs are huge. These are all hypotheticals. I'm living the life here.

Your boobs are huge. Ders is wearing a bra right now. I mean, not for nothing though. The guys who worked at Wells Fargo were pretty freaking put together as well, man. The hair gel on the dude. Hard hair, the hard hair. The haircuts, they get haircuts every week for sure. Oh, yeah.

What's up with that? With like smart glasses where they're like, I can actually help you over here. And you're like, I'm going to her, dude. Well, like I said, there's a creep at the top on the Wells Fargo pyramid, who's just only picking hotties with bodies to work at the Fargo. Yeah. It's like Abercrombie. And this went back to the stagecoach.

You know, they wanted some hot pieces of ass on that stagecoach. You can ride, you can ride, yeah. You can walk, baby. He looked at the Kyle girl and was like, you can walk. No, no, they didn't. No, they didn't. No, they didn't. They did.

No, they didn't. They said, hey girl. No, I heard what you said and I disagree. They looked at Kyle's great, great, great grandma knew a chick and said, you're walking, baby. Wow, gosh. Water trash. Yeah.

Water trash. But that's how, that's how Chase Bank started because she was chasing after and then she was like, fuck this, I'm starting my own bank. I'm going back to the river. Water trash. I ain't putting on a brazier. It's not happening. Look, girl, you're not getting here.

You can, you can chase us, but okay, you know what? I'm gonna start my own bank. I'm going back to the river. She definitely lives down by the river. Dude, Chase Bank. Water trash. Hey, how about how they have those banks and churches? What's up with like the first third bank of whatever?

Or like the first seventh Baptist? Like, I don't understand that shit. Wait, what is this now? Hold on, I don't know. In banks and churches, for some reason, there will be like the first third bank of the Pacific Northwest. Or the first third bank? Dude, I'm just saying.

Is that a thing? I don't know. I don't know if I know. Blake, please jump in. You're, you're not in yet. I'm not catching the, the grounding element here. It sounds familiar. It sounds familiar.

You've never seen like a sign for a church that's like the second, third Presbyterian, whatever. And you're like, huh? Well, I think there's like seventh day Adventists or something like that. Seventh day Baptists or something like that. Right? I like how you're calling me out. Then you add that to the party.

Seventh day, I believe, is like a reference to the Bible, right? Those are Mormons. The Latter-day Saints? Yeah, those are Mormons. The, the Joseph Smith followers. Yes. Yeah. Because like on the seventh day, they found like the plates

that Joseph Smith wrote or something. Let's go. Let's go, Brandon. I remember some of Mormon lore and legacy, but I know like, like Joseph Smith, like found some like gold plates. Right. Religious people love when you call their, uh... When you refer to their religion as a lore?

Yes. As lore and legend. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So the lore and legend states on the third day he rose again and... The myth, the mythology. I only know because, uh, Mormon churches always have really sick, uh, indoor basketball courts.

So that's what we were doing. Yeah, they stay having indoor basketball courts. Very true. They all have one. Dude, Mormons can ball, dude. Yeah. We had one of my charts though. Why?

Why, why do they all, they all have basketball courts? To recruit children, to calm them into giving their money when they're grown-ups and then having their children. Condom? It's science. They're giving, they're giving it to the Lord. And also, where Ders and I are from... It's cold.

Let's try it. It's cause it's cold, Kyle. It's cold. Oh. Bring us your cold, your basketball players. Oh, okay. My Catholic elementary school, when I was a kid, I went to a Catholic elementary school. It had a shitty, it was like a shitty school.

Like really shitty. But it had an indoor basketball court and the, and the ceilings- But you're at a, but that's school. That's school. We're talking church. The ceilings were 12 feet high. You would constantly be throwing the, the basketball under the ceiling. We're talking straight up church.

Yeah. Yeah. You're, you're jumping. Adam, all school, every school has a basketball court. Indoor basketball. I would venture to say every, every school. Yeah, but it's also a church. Adam, it's every school has one, Adam.

But it's also a church. Water trash. Right. But they built the basketball thing to have the school to treat the children with the money. Yes. There's ways to get kids. That's true. Yeah.

Like our, our church would have video game night and then every kid would come over and play James 007 golden eye until their eyes bled. And then once it got around midnight, they'd start pumping in, you know, the messages. The lock in. Nope. You can't go anywhere now, kids. Guess what? Jesus is watching you.

You can't go anywhere. You can't go anywhere. Gonna watch. Scary. So they would let you play like violent video games. He's gonna watch me J-O. Yeah. They would have video game night.

You could do whatever. You could play the games and you could go. Yeah. Yeah. So wait. So you guys both mentioned J-O. I want to get into that. J-O.

It's science. It's Jesus and other guy. No. You know what it was? It was a 24 hour like fast, but also a video game night because I think like Nintendo 64 just dropped. So they were like, yo, these kids can play like four player. You think these graphics are fast?

How about we fast for 24 hours? We did that together, didn't we? And it was actually hella hard and like to not eat for 24 hours. We got so hungry. We got so hungry. We were like delusional. But listen, this is the whole thing. They starve you for 24 hours and then they go, guess what guys?

We're going to give you food. And you're like, oh, this is the best sensation ever. And remember here at church, take my money. This is the body of Christ you're eating. No, that's what the fucking weird part was. When it all ended, they like gave us tortillas and like just baked beans. It was like, what the fuck? You remember the meal?

Dude, I do because I'm like Ortega. This meal is about to be cracking. And they just served up tortillas and baked beans. Well, why do this with children? I thought the whole thing with children is they have to be nourished. Well, we were teenagers. Yeah. We were teenagers.

That's children. Right. It's science. We were like, like probably what, 13 or 14 or something like that? 12? Very much children still. Yeah, that's all youthful energy. That's mad youthful right there, 13.

Right. Yeah. What's up, dude? Fuck you. I smoke weed. I smoke cigarettes. I've been smoking for years. I'm Kyle.

Yeah, you better believe it. Yeah, Kyle was definitely token. Hey, what's up? It's me, Kyle. I am blank. That was the hard part about the fast, too, is they would lock you in and I would not know how I would go fucking smoke. I would have to sneak out to go smoke.

That was hella hard. You reminded me of that. Right. And then there'd be another Jesus guy out there smoking to be like. Because it's all planned. Yeah, he goes, it's OK, man. We can smoke together. You know what's really smoking?

This book, the Bible. Thank you, guys. It's true. That definitely goes down. They're like, I won't tell. And he's definitely doing like Ace Ventura the mask impressions when he's saying, you know what else is? Smoking.

Smoking. Smoking. Hey, this will hook him. And you're like, oh shit. You want to get him thinking about the Lord and getting their money? This will hook him. Do it. Somebody stops me from reading another verse of the Bible.

You can't do it. You can't do it. So back to the Jane and Owen. Jane and the Owen. No! What about it? Which part? We were doing so good.

On this sleepover, were you guys Jane and Owen in your sleeping bags? I don't think he got to that point, actually. Well, you both mentioned it. Well, when did it not? I mean, that's the thing is. There we go. Yep. Blake, you're telling us the Ridge wasn't out?

But I remember it was co-ed. I think it was co-ed. And I think there was some chicks that we were digging on, too. It always was to lure you in. You were like, cool, I'm going to sleep over with girls. And then at midnight, they go, girls were locking you all in here. Boys, you're going to be all in here jacking off together. Right, right.

But I think it was like you would connect and be like, OK, meet me in the secret hallway with a girl at this time. And then you would go like kids. And then you never did. No, I think you'd go kids. What, you think or you remember? Not after the lockdown, though. No, you'd go kiss.

You would kiss. This is what happened at church, bro. How are you pronouncing it? Kids. Hey, so Kyle, did this happen? Yeah, did this happen, Kyle? Did this happen? Or are you making it up?

No, this happened. This is what went down. Yeah, I kissed somebody. And what was his name? No, it was a girl. Is there the other side? OK, so it seems like a made-up story. This is a girl we had to meet in the hallway.

Oh, yeah, the hallway. There's no hallway. Actually, I am kind of remembering this because you know how Kyle isn't really a gamer because I was fully just GoldenEye. I had no other vision other than. I'm horrible. I'm horrible at that shit, too.

I need more ghost fish to eat staff. I'm like, no being odd job. That's cheating. And then Kyle's out in the hallway by the, I think it was by like the water fountain. I snuck in a jolt cola. I'm never going to sleep. You would sneak out and like go smoke ciggies.

It all comes back to that because these girls like smoking ciggies, too. Kyle was the bad boy. Kyle's like smoking, fucking giving out tattoos to people. I'm playing Mario Kart. Yeah. Yeah, throwing his Hep C all about. You would like do acid and like kill homeless people, right?

This was a church thing, right? This is what she did at those things. We all mature at different ages, OK? That's mature for you? Through that, yeah. You were definitely all about that. I was horrible at GoldenEye. I was a late bloomer, too, Blake.

Yeah, I'm glad I had those years. Yeah, I'm glad you had those decades. What did you say? I thought you said fears. Yeah, I'm glad I feared women. Yeah, I'm glad I fear women. A healthy fear of women. That's not going to manifest in a weird way later.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love it, baby. Yeah, baby. Yeah, my god. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University,

and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior,

your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret.

I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to Season 2 of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can. Signed freeway phantom. This child was laying on the side of the road.

It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Those sleepaway camps, like church lock-ins and stuff, were always the horniest places in the goddamn world. I'm telling you, dude, this is real. I got a weird feeling that wherever you were, it was pretty horny. You know? Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah, but I was, I was much like Blake. I was much like Blake, where even though I was, I wanted to chop, chop up the girls. I also was chopped up. What? Wait, what? You know how girls had a healthy fear of me? I wanted to burn them. Uh-huh.

Holy mackerel. Did you mean chop it up? Chop it up, dude. Chop it up, chat, chat with them. First, I shaved them, then I licked their bodies completely and chopped them up. No. Yeah, I wanted to chop up girls too. Instead, I chopped up small rodents.

Of course. Yes, we used to eat mice tails. For sure, we all know this. Yeah, we dissected the neighbor's cat. We dissected, we kept it alive as long as possible. So you wanted to chop up girls just like me? Yeah, so yes, I wanted to chat them up, chop up a conversation. Jennifer Lopez, the cell, go ahead.

Chop it up with them. You wanted to chop it up with them. Yes, you guys got what I was trying to say. I just want to say it. E40 sling, Freudian slip. But I, once again, I think I was also way hornier than Blake too. Like, I didn't want to just play the video games. Should we do comps here?

I wanted to talk with the girls, but I was also crippled during this time of my life. So at this time, no, the girls didn't want to make out or smoke sigs with the guy, the kid in the wheelchair. Yeah, sad, sorry about that. It was hard to sneak out and do that stuff. So what happened is my buddy Ryan would come in and always, he would always stick his fingers in my face. Your face?

Oh, yeah. That was his like charity, his make-a-wish. You were like, just let me smell. Yeah, I think it was. Wow. I know, I didn't want to smell. I wasn't like trying to smell, but he would always come up and be like... Not bad, huh?

No, I actually thought it was way gross smelling. Until later. Well, how long have it been sitting on his fingers? Because it was up his own ass. Yeah, well, that could be. For sure. This is a episode of workaholics where Kyle puts his fingers in his butt and makes me smell him, right?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, right. What was that? God, that is so gross. The darkness, right? Yeah, and you smell him and you're like, actually smells good. Oh, nice. Let's say, psych. Yeah.

That shit was in my butt. Yeah, and then you have a nice line flub that we just ended the episode on. Bullet! Oh, a powered through line flubs, baby. The darkness. That was named after a girl that lived in our apartment complex. Do you remember that? The darkness?

The darkness? The darkness? Yeah, yeah. She was just a hot emo girl, right? That was the thing. She was not really that hot. A girl. She was a girl though.

But she was a girl. Right, emo. She was a girl and would wear all blacks. Yeah, she was a fun, but she was a party animal. She was fun. Yeah, she was cool. And we called her the darkness. And I always thought that was a fun name.

She had really obviously like dyed hair. Her hair was definitely no action. It was so black. It was so black, it was like almost purple. You know, not like when they dye it. Like a raven. It's too dark? Yes.

She looked like a raven. Yeah, hence the darkness. The raven, right. The darkness. Dark eyeliner. We cook all her raven, but that's Adam's IMDB name. So it was already taken. That's a raven.

Damn, it's time to revisit that one. Yeah, dude. Guys, I have an announcement. Oh, shit. What up? Wait, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Blake, hit us with something.

What do we got? COVID positive over here. No. Why? Because we're in the middle of a pandemic. Finally got me. Kyle, you've not had it, right? I have not had it.

No. Well, not that I know of. That's crazy, dude. That's so crazy. Blake, you have it. Have you had it? I got it on the Super Bowl. Yes, I had it.

What? You can hear it was when we were all separate at the Super Bowl? No, no, I didn't get to go because. Jesus. Dude, are you cool though? Long COVID, dude. You got the long haul. I got it right before the Super Bowl.

I was hoping to go to it, but instead I just sat at home and fucking cried. And Adam's well-documented to have it. Adam has it three times. Yeah, are you three or two times? Because you got Delta. I'm two. Very much was expecting to get it in Italy

because we had finished. And each time I got it, it was at the very end of a production. Right. And then I got it that next week. When your body finally gets up. When your body is like fully, because as we said before on the show,

it's like when you do these productions, you're working 14 hours a day and you just wear yourself down and by the end of it, you end up getting sick somehow. Yeah, because you're putting up your defense as the whole time you're going because you're trying to push past

to all the fucking exhaustion. Yeah. Yeah, your dukes are up. Your dukes are up. Yeah, the whole time, dukes are up. Your dukes are huge. And then we got to Italy and I was kind of crossing my fingers.

I'm like, fuck, it'd be kind of sick to get it here because we had like a really sweet room. I'm like, I'd hold up in this fucking pad for two weeks. Just eat my pasta, drink some api spritz. That's the way to do a honeymoon. Yeah, but didn't get it.

So yeah, I'm twice. Has anybody got it? I would love to have some like incorrect information. Has anybody ever got it three times? Is it possible or is COVID at two and done? Absolutely. For sure you can get it three times.

I've never met a three-time gangster. I've met a three-time gangster. Damn. They got the very, very first wave. Like before that, we even really knew what COVID was. It was like those first few weeks. So tight. Right.

And then they got Delta and then they got the first Omicron. Who's got the... So, Ders, do you have the Dot BA2? Or what's up, bro? What do you got, baby? I don't know. I don't know what I have.

I assume I have the one that like doesn't really matter because all I've had is just kind of like... It doesn't matter. 48 hours of like a little cough other than that. Wait, when did you get it? What day are we on? Because we're supposed to like go have a barbecue.

Yeah, I don't know. I'm going to test on Thursday to see if that's still on. Otherwise... Perfect. And I got to see who else in my family... Gets it. They've been testing and... Damn, dude.

Oh, because you just went on that batch party. That's where you got it from, huh? Oh, you got it in Vegas. Yeah, yeah. Vegas. Vegas baby. Damn. You got a Vegas baby.

What happens in Vegas gives you COVID. Well, even if you're not doing it or if you are, I'm still coming down to LA for a couple of weeks and even on Friday, coming down. You want COVID? Yeah. Yeah, I'd love it.

I'll be over first thing on Friday, right when we land. Yeah. Belissimo. But I actually was thinking like, dude, should we get together and do a fucking in-person pod? Is everybody like...

Oh my God. Oh my God. I mean, I don't... I know normally we talk about this off whatever, but like, should we do this? I'm going to be down there. Let's fucking get together and pod it up. Sure.

That'd be a fucking sick butthole, dude. Fine. If you're going to make me, fine. Yeah. Yeah, I'm kind of doing that right now. Let's do it at the barbecue. Oh my God. We'll just take the first hour and hang out.

Let's just like test different like new chip flavors and stuff. That'll be fun to do in person. Yeah. I'll be down for that. Shut up, bitch. Producers, have we talked about doing anything in person? I feel like we've talked about like smelling each other's butts

or something like that. Yeah. Or we can smell Adam's jizz for sure. Oh, I for sure will bring it in. I would love to. I will bring a jar of my jizz and not everyone smell it. No, it needs to be fresh. Well, I'll do it in the car.

I'm not saying I'm not going to keep it for a long time. Not in the car. You're going to walk out of the podcast and you're going to walk back in. You got to do it at a church lock in and then come straight to my house. Yeah. I'll go to my nearest church lock in and hit up a sleeping bag. Oh, I drunkenly crashed a prom the other night. I thought you should say crash your car.

Yeah. What a bummer. Fuck it. Where? Where? What prom? It was in Newport. It was like I just got back and we were taking the boat out and me and Zach and Chelsea,

our good friends and Khloé were taking the little Delphi about and then we stopped in and saw that there was a party and they're getting married at this venue that we saw from the water. And there was Zach and Chelsea. Oh, copy. And so we were like, oh, there's a wedding happening right now. Let's go look to see how they did it. We were very drunk. And we were like, man, let's see how.

Kids are getting married so young nowadays. And you're driving the boat. Right. I was driving the boat. They're getting married so young nowadays. And then we walk inside and then it was just like, you know, it's a high, it was a high school. Children. Yeah.

That's very cool. Did you dance? Did you dance about a little bit? No. It became like a little bit of a photo booth where I'm just taking photos with a with a ton of kids and sparkly dresses. And then and then I was Chelsea, who is going to be the bride in like a week and a half was like, we have to get the fuck out of here.

I don't want to get COVID. And I'm like, that's probably a good call. Right. Like I forgot that that is still exists. Yeah. COVID. When you're getting, when you crash a high school prom and you're with other people and you start taking photos, don't you go like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to go leave.

No, he was drunk. No, I was ready to throw down. Yeah. No, it all happened. We were in and out within five, 10 minutes. It was a very quick, quick turnaround. There was no like dancing, Adam doing this and then going into the splits. The tornado.

Yeah. No, I didn't get a bus out the tornado. It was right at the end. People were sort of starting to filter out. And I think, I think they had just, were just wrapping up. Right. They're going to drink vodka and Snapple bottles. Yeah.

They were to go fuck up some hypnotic and shit. Yeah, they were. It also wreaked of weed. I was like, there's some bad boys in this crew smoking weed at the prom. That's bold. Damn. Yeah. It's legal here.

How old do you have to be to smoke weed? Is it 18 or 21? It's 21. It's got to be 21, right? Oh, really? Yeah, I believe so. That sucks. I'm sorry.

It's all the 19 and 20. They could sign it for the army and get murdered, but you can't light up a doob. You said it. You can give your life for the flag, but you can't smoke a doobie. You said it. God damn. Yeah, that is a wackadoodle. Okay.

Let's reevaluate that one. What if, here's my question. If Trump wins in 2024. Okay. Poly charge. And does these two things. Poly charge. What do you think he's going to have?

He comes back and he changes. He reverses the drinking and smoking age to 18 nationally. Okay, that does nothing for me, but... Yeah, that would do zero for me. Yeah, I'd be actually pissed. But don't you think that's fucking rad? I do think it's actually... I would want some retroactive stuff because I missed that vote.

If you're going for the young vote and you change it to 18, aren't you going to win in a landslide, right? Yeah. Yeah, you might be right. Well, for sure he's doing that then. And then what if he also changed the... He went to the metric system and everybody was like, oh, fuck. Nah, that's some British shit.

I know, but that's what I'm saying is that it would be very confusing if he did it. Because... Oh, dude, I was so confused. Wait, what is this hypothetical? What is this? He changes the drinking, smoking age to 18, and transfers us to the metric system. So if you're a kid, you're kind of stoked,

but then you're also like, I don't know how many leaders goes into my gas tank. Yeah. I'm so fucking confused. I don't think kids would give a fuck about the... I don't think kids would give a fuck about the metric system. I'm not talking about the kids. I feel like the people... I would say like, if Joe Biden said we're gonna change it to the metric system,

civil war would start, right? But if Trump did it, everyone would just be like, fuck. Do we like this? Is this cool? Okay, he's right. We do want it. It is better. Is it?

Because the metric system fucking rocks. It's so much simpler, dude. It's so much simpler. Is it? Yes. It's tens and hundreds. It's points. It's 0.0, 0.1.

It's very simple. It's so good. I guess. The fucking bomb. Why is it so good? I just dealt with it. I just... Because it's easy.

I just dealt with it for three plus months. And I didn't really like it. Are you dealing with quarts? Thank you, Adam, for standing up for our system, whatever it's called. Well, wait, but what the fuck do you actually... But do you have a dog in the race? Do you actually care about inches versus centimeters? Does he have a dog in the race?

It's like you do. I'm talking... I'd rather talk about inches than talking about quarter centimeters. What are you measuring? No, well, for me, I was like... What are you measuring? What are you cooking? And what are you doing that...

Where this affects your life? I was... It was gas. It was gas. Gasoline. Gallons. I kept going past the gas stations. And I'm going, goddamn, gas is cheap as fuck here.

It was like $1.70. It's more expensive, though, yeah. And I'm like, this is cheap as shit, dude. And then I found out it's quarts. Right. Oh, shit. Quarts. Or liters.

It's actually liters. It's liters. It's liters. Quart is a part of... It's frozen. Yes, it's liters. And I think it's like three liters. So, yes, Adam, if you don't know that something...

You're right about that. If you have one second about it, it's a little confusing. Because quarts and pints are a part of the gallon system, right? Which is not liters. The gallon system. Whatever that system is. Are we the only one that people that use gallons? I'm not a smart man.

I think so. I think it's the inches and the gallons. The fissures and the hemmers. Yeah, and the inches and the miles. The inches and the miles. And the bogers, yeah. That shit's important. And the hemmies.

It's fucking millimeter, centimeter, meter, kilometer. Like, that shit, it's fucking good. Yeah. All right. Let's quit acting like we even need to know this shit, dude. Who gives a shit? No, dude. I know an inch is 2.54 centimeters.

Get at me. Get at me. Hang on. I can tell you what it is. I know what six inches is. Yeah. Think about if you measured your dick in. 15 quarter inches.

If you measured your dick in centimeters, you'd have a bigger number, baby. How big is my dick in the metric? How big is my dick in the metric? You'd have a bigger number. Well, I might have came around on it. Did you also know that, you know, that time in Germany? I know.

Yes. Yes. Well documented. I thought everyone was going to be driving on the right hand side. But only England does that shit. That's right. Only British. Oh, really?

Yes. Well, I think British and then some Asian countries do it too, right? Yeah, Japan. Yeah, yeah. Really? I thought everybody did that. And I've been to Italy. No, they don't do that in Italy.

Italy's on our side of the road, on the same side. Yeah, on the right side. Yes. Wait, Germany is on the right side. Yes. Yes. Wow. Why do they even do that?

Like, where did that happen? But you're also talking about the steering wheel on the other side, too. Some kings said, this is the way it's got to be. And then in the United States, we just said, we're going to do whatever the fucking is the opposite of the king. Like, fuck it. We're driving on the other side. You could suck our dick.

Well, they didn't have cars back then, Playboy. Bro, bro, bro, this was way before Cars Homeboy. Yes, but it was. Yeah, but it still. It was horse and buggy. It was Wells Fargo day, you get it? You wouldn't even know your grandmother was by the fucking river, bro. She didn't have a carriage, okay?

She was walking. No, Brazil. She. And I'm not shaving my pits. Hold up. None of them were, right? Yeah, they didn't have razors. They didn't have fucking razors.

When did women start shaving armpits? Because. 50s. It's pretty great. 50s. It's a good look. 20s, 30s, 50s. Whenever they started selling razors.

Say every, say every decade. Yeah. I think it was during World War One when they, when the men went away, the razor companies invented, like, shaving body hair for women, right? To make money. Is that right? I mean, that's a great guess.

I think that was the whole thing. They were just like, hey, while your dudes are away, just start, like, shaving your body. Why not? And then, should we talk about this? What, what, what, what, what? At what point in the 90s? 20s.

Did it become, no, I'm sorry. What time, what, what point in the 90s? And what, was it because of porno? That women were like, now we gotta shave our pussies? Let's go. We gotta, we gotta shave, like. Yup, thank you, Ders. No, but honestly, that's super recent.

Thank you. That's very, very recent. Thank you, Ders. No, you're right, you're right. If you talk to anybody 10 years older than us, they're like, guess what, man? I mean, I think David Spade even went into it on his Stano special, where he's like,

when I was in high school, it was like an airbag went off in a chick's underwear, because it was just like. Right. But that's like, that's new. It's crazy. Yeah, well, yeah. When you speak of like society in general, yeah, it is a new phenomenon.

Well, because we're like, when did they start shaving their legs? It's like, well, we have our own thing. Hey, when did we watch the pussies? That happened on our watch. I think this is in the Cat Williams special. Yeah, that's on our watch. Thank you, Adam. Yeah.

Thank you, God. Our generation did that. The greatest generation. The greatest generation. And what the fuck happened? What was the thing? What was it like? This is kind of what you gotta do now.

It's shame, bro. It's shame in body hair. That started in the 20s when they started, that's what they're saying. Like they started shaving. This is in the comments. It's saying, in the 1920s, sleeveless women dresses were increasingly becoming more popular fashion.

Thank God. It's science. Fashion was the first instance that made women begin shaving their hair. Thus, removing the hair, well, it's not written. Look at that. It's not written right. Thus, removing the hair under arms became, it's not written right.

Became a priority. It's like an ad read. This is crazy. Oh my God. It is. That was better than an ad read though. So they were shaving their arms, but the thing is like now they don't shave their arms at all

as far as I know. Well, now they're going back. Why would you? Now they're going back to be like, why? Because it was just for sales, right? It was just they sold razors. So they said, you need to do it. Right.

And then everybody felt like they had to. So then everybody did it and now it's, and then it transferred to the vaginas. And then it kept going. It's like a virus. So it's, you know, I mean, I feel like for the most part, it's sexier. But that's the whole thing.

Do you have the hair or what? It's preference. You were programmed to think that. For less hair. It's just because, you know, if you're down there, if you're looking, I feel like maybe you're licking a lot of. If you're licking and licking. You're not that guy, pal.

Trust me. If there's not a lot of cunnilingus back in the 20s, I bet maybe they really started winning. Well, that's true. Dude, haven't you ever seen Deadwood? They were eating box all day out there. Okay. Were they?

Okay, but they were getting hairs all in their, in their mouths during the Wells Fargo days. You know, during the Wells Fargo days. Yeah. But they didn't give a fuck. Why did we start caring? There is a certain amount of sexual hygiene that can be, you know, that I think we should uphold.

I know. I know Kyle shaves his nutsack. You, you're the going to be the poster boy for that. This is where we find out Kyle's and waxing his asshole. Although I did say I would get my butthole lasered if we went three seasons to workaholics. Yeah, what happened there? I don't know.

I, I guess, um, You got scared. The dream died. You let the dream die. I got busy. I got too busy. I'm not that guy, pal. Hey, it's never too late.

When we're live and in person, can you be lasering your butthole when we do our live pod? Yeah. Can we be right there with you? No, when we do our, when we do a live tour and we're at the store in Detroit and I want Derz to get his butthole lasered on stage. Like a curtain.

I'm just like out of a curtain. Yes. That'd be so great. Like those videos we know. Oh my God. Or it's just like, you can't see behind me, but I'm like. And you hear it. We have it mic'd up.

And for people listening, I made a face that you'll never see. Bro's got COVID. This guy got COVID, right? Anytime you hear that, that's when it gets to hair. So it's just, you know, how long is that process? How long is it to get your?

It's chopping a forest now. For me, it's not that long. I'm not a hairy guy. But how long is it to get your eyes lasered? What is that process? 15 minutes. Damn, in and out. Yeah, burger.

To get lasik? Uh-huh. Lasik. Does it work? No. It doesn't it not work? Isn't it shit? No.

What do you mean? I can't. No, it works great. Is an early lasik shit? Your shit. Did you have to redo your lasik? I thought, of course I did. So, yeah, of course I did.

Why? I think 10 years later I had to do it and I'm creeping up on 10 more years. So we'll see. Right. But that seems like a proper amount of time to- Yeah, it's a great deal. To be able to see 10 years.

Parts of your eyeball off so you can see better. Yeah. Yeah. No way. I don't, I'm not scared of that really. It feels like it's such a normal procedure that I think- I wonder if you can get both done at the same time. Did you only get one?

No, no, I'm sorry. Laser your eyes. And your asshole. That's called the cat dog, baby. I feel like I know exactly why and I don't at the same time. Was it cat dog? You get a cat on one side and a dog on the other side? I'm here for a cat dog.

Right this way, sir. Come through this curtain. Put your head through this curtain. Don't ride over here. They put you between. It looks like a James Bond movie back there. So doctors got laid. Are you the up front or down bottom?

I'm down bottom, boy. The doctors, you can tell the difference like right away like, you're the butthole guy. And you're the butthole guy. He's here for the butthole for sure. Dude, I was thinking about this today. What, like the fact that- Dude, like, okay.

What up? For decades, for years, hundreds of years maybe. There were dude gynecologists. Like, how, what the fuck was- There still is, right? Of course there are, but like, by and large, if you're a woman at this point, like, there are like thousands of female gynecologists.

You're going to go see them for sure over some guy. That is fucking nuts, Derz. But can you imagine being in med school, I mean like, so what are you going to do up? But podiatrist, I'm going to be a doctor for kids. Pediatrician. And then the guy is like- Pediatrician.

Yeah, I'm a gynecologist. Yeah, or is it like a, it's always got to be like, of course he's going to be a gynecologist, or were you the guy was like, I'm a good dude. I got to do this, or some other creeps going to do it. That is a great question. Like, how did that work? Eight out of 10 were creeps.

Creep. There's two out of those 10 that were the good dudes. Yes. But I would say eight out of 10, if that's what you- Go, also to me, that sounds like the worst, because it's, that would be disgusting. You see the worst of the worst, right? You're not looking at like the cream of the crop.

No, but yes, yes you are. Well, sure. But you're also looking at literal cream of the crop, some crop. Oh, wow. Well, guess what? That might be somebody's thing. I see, I see, I see.

What is it? What was it? Blue waffles or whatever? I see, I see. Yeah, you are seeing some blue waffles up in the business. It's just a fucking weird thing to be like, I'm going to be a gynecologist. Yeah, that is super wild.

Just because- Dude, that's a great question. And there was, that's, yeah, that's nuts, dude. There was no women in like med school. You know what, next time you come here, you might want to, I don't know, shave that thing. That's what happened. Yeah, he's selling razors.

How many doctors go like, I guess, I don't know, because I, there's no way I would ever be a doctor because I'm dumb as fuck. But like, do you go into the medical, like medical school, being like, I want to be this kind of doctor, or do you like study and you see what tests you're kind of like excelling at? I'm sure it's case by case.

And this dude's like, wow, I'm like really knowledgeable about the vagina. I can just remember the parts very well. I've just got a knack for a poom-tang. Yeah, I don't know. I was just thinking because of the end of Animal House, it like says what they're doing, and Otter, it says like, gynecologist Beverly Hills, California.

And it's like, because he's got it made. And you're like, well, creepy. Right. But also looking back, I'm like, yeah, I guess he is the kind of guy that would do that. We're seeing in the chat that you do rotations during med school. And this is interesting stuff. You've really got a knack for vagina, Clark.

And then you do residency, and you figure out what you specialize in on your third or fourth year of med school, then you start to specialize. Oh, you know what it is? Here's the red flag. And I did not know that. I bet this is the red flag. The guy who won't stop talking about it.

I was like, I just feel like I'm good at the gynecology stuff. They're like, okay. You know what? I think we're going to have you on dermatology. Yeah. You're going to stick with broken arms. The ripping and the tearing. Any guy who keeps talking about how they're just like,

yeah, I don't know what it is. I just feel like I was born to do this. They're like, it's weird. I'm just excelling at this. This is crazy. Why don't you come over here, look at this brain real quick. Yeah, brain's right. Brain looks good.

Brain's right. Brain looks good, Chuck. Looks good, man. Milton. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads.

On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or, what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality.

Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see?

I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to Season 2 of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can. Signed freeway phantom.

This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What kind of doctors do you think we would be? Oh, Kyle. Kyle, what do you think? What do you think you would get in? I think I know what I would like to be. I'm orthopedic. I said spine ecologist. Right off the top of the dome, I'm orthopedic. Your feet? Yeah, man. Oh, that's tight. Orthopedic is not. Orthopedic is bones. Oh, yeah, you're a pitiatrist. And that is what I believe I would be an orthopedic surgeon as well, just because of all of my knee surgeries, I think I would.

You would have been drawn to it or something. All the orthopedic guys are tight. They're like the jocks, the dumb jocks of the medical profession. Right, yeah. That is true. All those OC orthopedic surgeons. My buddy Bill was telling me about the guy who gave him a new neck bone or something like that. He was like, I'll give you a bone. He's just a super handsome bro who pulled up in a Ferrari, worked on him for two hours, and he was like, whoosh, whoosh, with the gloves, and then just pieced out to go golf. And I assume, fuck hella chicks in the same track.

They must have the most custom license plates, like bones with a Z, that shit. Yeah, they must. They have to. Dr. Bone. Big Bone. Surgeon. S-I-R-G-I-S. The Bone Collector. Yeah, yeah. Dude, so the boat that I bought during the pandemic, the name of it, because you know how every bone,

every boat is named, it's called Good Bones, because it was an orthopedic surgeon. Okay. Blake, you're on to something. Bone zone. Blake, you're going, are you saying orthopedic, or what are you saying, you're a pitiatrist, right? Is that what you were saying? How did you know I meant the foot doctor? Did you mean the foot doctor?

Yeah, because you know, I have a feeling that that is like the lowest of the low, like they aren't respected, right? Yeah, you smell. Why? There's a ton of bones in the feet. I don't disagree, but we're not talking about bones anymore, we're just talking about feet, period. Yeah. You're obsessed with bones.

You're obsessed with bones. Dude, you should be. Oh, no, that's pretty cool. Actually, there's a lot of bones in there. There's tons of bones in the feet, my friend. I would love to talk to you about feet someday. Why feet, Blake? Are you, I could see Blake being a like a weird little feet guy.

You'd like to suck toes. What's going on over there? What's up? Um, I don't know that I like it. I don't like that. Doesn't bother me. Oh, yeah. The fucking toes.

All right. I don't know. I'd say so now. Wait, hold on. You said you don't know if you like it, but it doesn't bother you. What's the deal? What's up, brother? And you went there.

I just like, I'm a very generous lover. Like whatever you ask of me, I shall. I can get behind that. I think that's a very noble answer. Good job, bud. Yeah. Yeah. I don't come in with like a checklist.

You know what I mean? Right. It's just whatever happens, happens. I'm an improviser, you know? I think that's most people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I think some people come with a checklist. Okay, brother. Check, please. Yeah. Some people are just like, that's it. Okay, good. Later. Other people are in it to play jazz.

They're in it for the session. Hey, yeah. You know, we're a little jazz. We do the jazz. We do the best in jazz. The jazz. Jazzes are the best, bro. That's it.

Yeah, yeah. We're jasmine over here today. Isn't it important? Adam just renamed our podcast. It isn't it important. But isn't it important? It's like a musical now. Isn't it important?

Isn't it important? And this dude's on musical vibes. That shit's important. Oh, he caught a, he caught a, he caught a tube. He didn't spit, though. Shit caught a tube. I spit everywhere, dude. I spit everywhere.

It's all over my wife's phone. I got it. That's why. Isn't it important? Come on. Isn't it important? Somehow you're a child doctor. No, no, no.

I think I, I'm looking at either brain, brain surgery. Herbal remedies, if you know what I mean. Brain surgery. The last thing I want is you touching my brain, son of a bitch. Or dentist. Oh yeah, you're, you're. You're right. That doesn't count.

Yeah, what? Okay, then I'll do both. Oh, we're about to have dentists on our ass. No, dentists are doctors. That's for sure. Of course, of course. But yeah, do you have good teeth, Kyle? No, horrible teeth.

But I love them. Really? Yeah. Let me see your teeth up close. I always thought you had pretty good teeth. What's wrong with those? I mean, you look like the violator from Spawn, but it's fine to me.

Deep reference. This bro's teeth looks like Todd McFarland drill. What the fuck? Such a deep reference. That's a great one. This dude smiling over here like John Leguizombo. Yeah, no. That isn't important.

I always like when I go to the dentist. Isn't it important? I like learning about it. Yeah, those teeth like, those teeth look fine. Yeah, I think they look good. I got to get Invisalign. For your bottom row? Yeah, I think they're going to have to pull one.

Bitch, you got too many teeth in your mouth. They're going to pull one because it's all fucking crunch down there. I got the Will Ferrell Bottom Grill. I'm starting to have that same thing up top. I used to have a gap in my teeth, and now it's pushing in and there's no, there's no gap. And I'm afraid they're going to start to go whip. There goes your personality.

My whole personality is gone. Yeah, yeah. Everyone's going to be like, look at that hot fucking dude who's not funny. Yeah, he's not funny anymore. Yeah, where did he use to be? He used to be quirky. He used to be a gap man.

I mean, Jamie Foxx got rid of his, so he's still funny. He had one? He had a gap? Yeah, then he got those Ninja Turtle dogs put in like me. Yeah, but Splinter. Yeah, but he's, he's so sexy though. It's true. With a hairline down to his eyeballs.

Okay, that hairline keeps getting lower and lower every time I see that guy. What about you, Ders? What kind of doctor are you? What's your shit, bro? I'm the one they call Dr. Feel Good. I'd probably be like a plastic surgeon that like takes little burn victims and like puts a face on them. You know?

Oh, shit. Oh, Barrett's ass? Yeah, but also titties though. Let's not also pick titties. Well, you got to pay the bills. I know I do only calf implants. Okay. No, I don't know.

What would I be? Yeah, I could see you specializing in something niche like that. It'd be fucking, I mean, look, all I'll say is that laser eye surgery, the doctor who did mine in like 2003 originally had like a nice office. And then when I went back 10 years later, he had the fucking nicest office I've ever seen a doctor have in Beverly Hills on Rodeo Drive. And I was like, oh, this dude's been working.

And all he does, I think it was like, they only operate on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And he just does like 40 a day because they take 15 minutes. And he just goes back and forth, kills it. Oops, winning. And that's why we hope all the doctors get into the business is to make money, you know, not to not to help people. That's why they're into it now, dude. To save lives.

That's what it is. Just to, you know, get that office. Get that office. Would you be an ER doctor, Kyle? Do you like that kind of rush? Yeah. Oh, dude, that's. Yeah, I think I would like that.

I think I would dig that. Yeah. You'd be like the wacky. Adam would be Robin Williams with that nose on. Patch Adams. Yeah. Patch Adams, yeah. Damn, dude.

I would like to be like an ER doctor. Dude, do they have ER doctors at children's hospitals? I think that would be very rewarding. For sure. That would be so scary. You have children's lives in your head. Right. You just see like blue kids coming in all the time.

Yeah. But then you get to save kids lives every day. You get to be like, oh, you have some crazy shit happening. Hopefully. Yeah. But the one you don't is going to hunt your nightmare. Cool pilot idea. Wow.

Oh, shit. Cool pilot idea. You didn't save me. I'm going to be right here the whole time now. Oh, that's kind of tight. Yeah. I'm going to stick with the feet, dude. I'm going to stick with the flip top.

Yeah, we know. We know you will. We know you will. I don't got to check this. Darning off warts and shit. Have you guys ever had a wart on your toes? Yeah, I have. Yes.

No. Isn't that cool when you get the bandaid and you put it on and like it fills the skin around it and then the wort just rolls off? Isn't this important? It eats away at you. I used to have them on my dick. Any tape bags? Apologize.

I guess we have reached that point. Wait, what did you just say? I didn't hear anything. I'm going to have to go back. I'm going to listen back. Whatever Adam just said. Can we turn that back up? We hit the 15 second back button on that.

Yeah. Any take backs? Apologies. That's life. Epic slams. What's he talking about? He has some of a pronounced ridge. He enters word on his nut sack.

I guess I'll give a special shout out to Anders for enduring COVID and getting on the Zoom, man. You're a trooper, dude. That's huge. I mean, I'm here. I'm locked down in my office. There's a bed in here. It's I'm kind of locked down.

I'd also like to second that bad, huh? No, I've been working out and doing my thing, trying to stay positive. I like that. Well, well, yeah, you want to get negative. Yeah. Yeah. Positive is not the way to be. But oh, I'd be a COVID doctor.

I guess that would be Dr. Fauci. Oh, yeah. Hey, okay. That's my guy. Dead ringer. If I give you anything. Dead ringer. Let's go.

That's my dead ringer. Let's go. Oh, I like that one. Beautiful. You know what? Hey, guys, on a serious note, I'm glad it's not that bad. And I hope no one else catches it from me on a very serious note. Yes.

You know why? Thank you for being polychart. Isn't this important? Isn't it important? Any takebacks? Yeah, I'm trying to think of takebacks. Did I say some dumb shit? Maybe you guys can.

You said a lot. You guys said a lot of dumb shit. And I have it all written down right here, but I'm not going to tell you. What did I say that was super dumb? I may or may not have said some shit right at the end. I thought I wish I could take back, but I'm not going to let it fly.

Plantar's Ward on your nutsack? Can I say something during this whole... I mean, none of us can really grow a fantastic beard. Kyle, yours is fine, but I'm glad none of us got caught up in that beard era that just happened the last five years, where it's so manicured. I want to shave my shit off. I'm sick of it. Well, what was the beard era?

Did that go hand in hand with like craft beer? Yeah, it did. Yeah, yeah. It's a craft beard, actually. It's a craft beard, yeah. I think that's the only reason you said it. I feel like none of us got that deep in new craft beer. So, you know, we couldn't.

We couldn't. Yeah, we weren't allowed. I think we've rid the line of like smoking weed and drinking beer the right way, where we didn't like dive too deep into the actual like culture of it. So shout out to us for being great addicts. For being tourists, we're basically just tourists who don't get into anything and just want to stay drunk.

Yeah, we stay drunk and stay high, but we're not going to be too deep into the culture. We don't know how to know exactly how it's made or like. I didn't grow dreads. Adam didn't grow a beard. Shout out to us. That's my shout out. I don't think I can grow a beard.

I honestly. Like a, like a Bolzerian, but everyone, it's so weird. The groomed beards are fucked. I don't know, man. I hate it. I keep getting the Instagram like groomed beards in my discoveries. You know why?

Why? Why Blake? On the next. We'll cover it on the next one. Next one of what? Next one of what? Isn't it important? All right.

Well, I would like to, I would like to give thanks for my group of friends who I'm hoping to see in person. I keep asking Blake to watch basketball. He keeps nodding. Let's go today. I can't today, dude. Dick. My sister's going to come over to have dinner.

I know. I'm, I asked him multiple times last week and nothing. Not a great playoffs. Right? No, really dog shit NBA playoffs. But do we think that the whoever the matchup is going to be? I mean, it's, well, who knows? The Warriors are going to win.

Warriors are going to sweep. Probably. From your mouth to God's ears. I thought Dallas was their, their biggest shot of getting knocked off and they're just handling them. And I think no matter who wins, the Celtics and Heat series. They're going to, they're going to roll them. So congratulations.

Celtics, right? You got another good for you. We can't hang out. And Blake, are you going to go to a, a game? We'll see. I'll put the feelers out for sure. If it happens, I'd love to. Or maybe even put the money out, dude.

And just go buy a ticket. Well, part of the, part of the feelers is money. Nobody goes for free. Just don't overdraft, bro. Don't overdraft. I mean, good for it. Crazy. Maybe not, man.

Just be cool about it. Check your shit. Check your shit before you click purchase on boy. Like check your numbers. I'm going to pull up the Van Nuys. Yeah, dig. All right. All right guys.

That's another episode of Important. Hi, I'm Dave Diegelman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences. By tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans?

So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Diegelman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning.

And now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972,

six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, DC. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can, sign Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart Radio app,

Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.