This Is Important - It’s A Best Of Eps (26 to 30) But We’re Back Next Week!

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

The best of This Is Important from episodes 26 through 30.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw it in a folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about what is

most obviously very crucially important. Let's go. Can I say I do hate that I see all the time. Everyone does it now, and I think it started with LeBron, and I think I might have shit on this in the podcast before, but when people go, let's go. It is crazy. It bugs me. It honestly, and I don't get that bugged by a lot of things, but I'm like, you're very unbugged. I'm unbugged. You can't bug this. You can't bug this guy. I'm bugged by that. I am bugged by that. Let's go. It's the response to everything now. Everything. The intensity of it I think would get very annoying, and it is annoying, but what did work on set was some guys who was very subtly were like, let's go, and I did dig it. Well, if you're literally going somewhere. Yeah, they were on their way to go somewhere. Yeah, if

you're like, hey guys, let's go. Let's go. We're ready to go. Guys, the van's running. Yeah, let's go. When it's like you sink a cornhole shot, and you go, let's go. Or the kids opening up their Christmas presents on Instagram, they were like getting a PS5. They're like, got the PS5. Let's go about a Christmas gift. Let's go. My parents are rich. Your poor ass parents can't go anywhere. This is a thing I've always wanted to kind of like step out, but then I just forget because it's not that important. But this is important. It is important. It is. This is important. I feel like Bird Watchers also, it's kind of a swing underground, swinger organization. They're like, hey, that checks out. Yeah. They're like, what's up with your

cockatoo, bro? Oh, I guess it's not easy to decipher. Not that underground. Let me suck your blue. Let me suck your blue bird. I will suck your wife. Hey, can I lick your asshole cockatoo? I will fuck your wife while you suck my cockatoo. It all just ends in cockatoo. What's up with your cockatoo, bro? Can I lick your dickhole cockatoo? She'll have your seagull up my ass. The two. All right. So Chloe's been gone for a few days. She's, you know, visiting her family and I'm left to my own devices. Nice. We know what that means. We know what that means. Your iPad and your iPhone, all the devices. Dude, I almost died the other night. What happened? What happened this time? Oh God, let's unpack this. I don't know when I turned it on. It must

have been like the day that she left the stove. Oh boy. And I had it on for like legit almost three days, like two and a half days. Like the burner or like the oven? The gas. Like it was all the way to the summer. So you couldn't even see the flame. Yep. So it was just on and I have, it's cold. So I have all the windows shut and my heater's being weird. So I'm just kind of running my fireplace. So I'm running the fireplace. Have the gas going. Book. And then I turned the fireplace off because I'm smelling like rotten eggs. Good job. I'm like, who farted? The cause of diarrhea. It was like several days of me going like something stinks. I'm like taking showers, going like, do I stink like shit? Am I like just putrid smelling? Did I fart? Did I seep?

Yeah. Am I seepin? Am I seepin? Oh man, seep. Yeah. And I'm like looking through like I check underneath the cushions on the couch and everything. Taking like, did I? Cause also I'm, I've been a kind of a mess this weekend. I also puked this weekend and my eye exploded. Yeah, you look insane. I look insane. This happens when the chick leaves. Why did you pee? I drank too much. Did I do that? Solo? No, I had some people over, there's a boat parade down here. So like, I had some people over, we all sat outside, we drank, everybody left. And then my one buddy, Jeff, was like, yo, I'll sit around and drink with you for, you guys know him as Tater Salad. He's a big fan of the podcast. So, so he'll, here it is. What up Tater Salad? Shout out.

So Tater Salad was, was kicking it. And he was like, yo, I'll drink with you for a few hours. Oh yeah, you will. And so then I just ended up pounding, like, Ashland's just like, and we know that three gets you drunk. Yeah. So, uh, can you shotgun fucking Ashland's? You could shotgun anything if you put your mind to it. Yeah. Fuck yeah, bro. That's true. Yeah. That's the only way Kyle's going to come back to drink. Yeah, bro. That shit is tight. Anyways, you were saying, yeah. And I was like, you know, I was too, it wasn't that I puked. It was, I was too full to go to sleep. You know that feeling when you're like, when you're drunk and you're just like, I'm going to explode. I have too much

liquid within me. And so I, I made myself cute. And then the next day I wake up and my eye is insane working. Like it popped a blood vessel just because I was yacking so hard. Oh, you think that's what it was? Yeah, I do. Because it was the next day that it was like this. I've been playing that it's my fitness, but I know it's, I just didn't want to tell the internet that it was, you know, just, I'm just puking by myself. Dude, tell the internet. You were gagging so hard and popped a blood vessel in your eye. I love that shit. The tongue is like all the way out. So then the next day I wake up and my whole house reeks of, of like rotten eggs in my head and I puke somewhere. For like a full day and a half, I'm going like, I must have puked.

I'm like some cute God somewhere that I don't know or got on my clothes and I bought it somewhere. So I'm checking every inch of my house until I realized like I go to like microwave something and I'm like, I'm close to the stove and it's like hot to the touch. And I'm like, why is it so hot? And then I realized I've had the gas on for like two and a half days. You should have died. Dude. Just leaking out and I'm smoking weed inside the clothes. God. My boy. I'm like, I'm having a good time. I'm delighting the fireplace. I'm letting the fireplace. I'm like personifying the gas for every time you're like lighting a joint and like it gets near you and then you put it out real quick because you got to go and it's like, oh, we could have just exploded the house. You know what? I think

what saves me is I always smoke even when Chloe's gone. What saves you is Chloe. Chloe is your angel, brother. Remember, I don't know who was there. Two of you guys there were there. Maybe Kyle wasn't, but we got pretty drunk one night in Los Feliz and went to a bar and put on like an hours worth of Drake or was it R. Kelly? No, it was Drake. Unlike those new school like touchpad and we got twisted and we invited somebody to the Six Flags. It was the bartender. It was the lady bartender. And then she went and we didn't go. Right? What? Wait, I don't remember this part. I think she's like, I'm at the Batman ride. Yes. I'm still sleeping. We were super and we're telling her like, yo, like she just moved to town. Oh, God, we're so bad. We were drunk. We were

making promises. I don't remember this at all. So this is this is specifically on you guys. I remember the Drake commandeering of the jukebox, but I do not remember the Six Flags. Not a bad commandeering. I mean, yeah, this was like Drake's first album, like first or second. You can think which one had you could take me now. Oh, yeah, I was so far gone for sure. Was that the one where they had all like the big breasted women's that were in like the low cut tops and they were playing God. What track was that? Was that you the fucking best? Yes. She's the fucking best. Yes, she's the fucking best. I remember someone showed me that video and I'm like, this guy's a star. Yeah. Look at all these big breasts. I was like, look at all these giant breasted women.

This guy's a star. He's a star. He knows what people like. And honestly, Mexico is kind of my retirement plan. I'm trying to be a Mexican brother. I told Chloe on more than one occasion how much I think Blake would love Mexico. Oh, yeah, specifically Punta Mita, because it felt, it didn't feel, Cabo just felt like Southern California. Right. Right. I was like, oh, this is like Newport Beach South. It's a vibe, which I'm down for. Nueve Porto. Sure, which is very nice, but Punta Mita felt like I'm like, oh, this is Mexico. This is cool. I'm so jealous. Yeah, it's the best. It's not Naya, it's Naya Rite is where it is. Saguirita Naya Rite. That's where I think it is. All those words that you just said sound real to

me and I 100% believe you. It's the best. They roll off your tongue and you are speaking my language, baby. Let's get there. Yeah, get your bum down there, man. It's so sick. As long as they understand Margarita. I might not come back, brother. I'm just saying. So right now, it's let's go. Right. True. Before that, it was, that's what I'm talking about. And that is what I'm talking about. Was it? Yeah. Before that, at some point, it was like Booyah. Yeah, Booyah Kasha. Sure. Yeah, Booyah had a day. What is the history of that exclamation sports thing in chronological order starting? It goes, are you starting newer or older? Are we stuck in Blake's favorite decade, the 90s? Do you think it started there? Do you think it started?

Where are we starting? 80s. I don't know where it started. I'm saying let's start with let's go and work our way backwards. Okay. Let's go. Let's go. It starts there. Let's go. Let's go. Was that's what I'm talking about right before that? I think so. I think that's what I'm talking about. Because people usually just say that to, they could have not said anything, but they would go, that's what I'm talking about. And that's a long one too. Yeah, that is. And also, they might not have been talking about anything. No, you were just doing it. That person wasn't talking shit. They were silent for 30 minutes. Then a thing happens, then that's what they're talking about. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. You're like,

hey, Jeff, you didn't say shit, dude. You weren't talking about anything. Literally, you were silent. You're playing chess. You're playing chess and you haven't said a word in minutes. But wait, sorry. I think before let's go, it was just, whoo, whoo. It was the Ric Flair whoo. Like people were doing that instead of speaking for a while. That's true. I mean, does a high five count in this? I feel like maybe the high five was the big bang. No, no, no. It has to be a oral exclamation. Verbal. The high five could be where it started. That was the big bang. Like that could be back in like the 50s. No, it's for sure just like some old timey, like a snickerdoodle, you know, like 20s slang. That's for sure.

Well, hang on. It's yee-haw was there. Okay. It is yee-haw. Yee-haw, horse riding. It is yee-haw. But I'm going around like sports, like popularized sports phrases that are said once by a pro and then 12 year olds across America go, I'm going to say that for 18 months. See, like I can only think about Tropic Thunder when he was like, get you some. Oh, get some. Get some one for a while. Get some. Somebody out there on Twitter. Suck it. Step this shit out. Suck it. Hump the air and you say, suck it. Yes. That's degeneration X. Nice. Hey, Blake. Fucking kudos. There you go, buddy. It looks like you

weren't, you didn't fall asleep at the wheel this week. Thank you for that one. Can you imagine the autopsy? Give it 20 years. You were, if you fell asleep, vomited, choked on your vomit and died, and then your house exploded. They'd be like, he obviously died from an explosion. And then somebody's like, actually, he was super drunk off of three. Bro, I ate Chipotle two days ago, man. And it was delicious. I love Chipotle, dude. I love Chipotle. Chipotle. Do you know what I did? That I, I mean, if Chipotle's listening, hook a brother up again.

You know, they did a few years ago that I completely, I've lost it. I don't know what happened to it. They gave me a fucking card that said like free Chipotle for life as much Chipotle as I can handle life for a year. It's not diarrhea. No, I got one that said that it was forever. Wow. A forever card. And it's the bomb. It's the best. I love Chipotle. Yes. It's not diarrhea. Why do you keep doing that? I could get Chipotle every day. And then once a year, I could get a hundred, party for a hundred people, Chipotle. And I used it all the time. And then now the cost of diarrhea. It's not diarrhea. It's not diarrhea. Yeah. Chipotle fucking rocks. Blake just has the button. He has too much

control. He's got too much power. He's drunk on his power. But he did it three times. And I love Chipotle. He's drunk on his power. He's drunk on his power. Do you mind if I talk to you about diarrhea? Oh man. Do you have a whole fucking 10 to vote on diarrhea? I lost. I like why he quit drinking is because the hangovers were so bad. We want to take like a, an ice pick to his skull or whatever he said. Yeah, man. He's the base. I wanted to drill that shit. I've never experienced that. Normally my, I can shake off a hangover within a couple hours. Yeah, you're a chooper. It was like a day and a half. Oh, bro is catching up. Yeah. Catching up. That's my guy. Yeah, the age is starting. Give me a hell yeah. Hell yeah.

You're one of my best drinking friends to be honest. You are great at it. Thank you. Put some back. Thank you. I do pride myself on how much I could, how much alcohol I could throw in my system. So what, what happened on that hangover day? Did you have shit that you had to do or was it just a wash? No, I went and did all kinds of shit. We went and we looked at, at another property and like toured the thing and then, and then, you know, I just regrouped, re-gathered and hit it again. Yeah. Hey, nothing like, don't do what we did last night. Wait a second. Well, it was the only, I was like, well, I don't know. I was, I did a workout the next day to try to shake it off. There we go. I puked in a bush. I did a body weight workout on the beach and was

just like, so sick. Yeah. He is so sick when he pukes. He's very sick. No, that's rad. It's poisoned. Yeah. He's in fact poisoned. And then I was like, you know what? I need to, maybe if I have another drink, it'll make me feel good. Yup. And Chloe's like, that's an insane thing to say. Like, and then, of course, I had one drink, felt great, had three more, felt really great. Yeah. My boy. It works like that. For the youth of America, if you feel bad, just keep drinking, allegedly. Yeah. If you look it up online, nowhere in the world does it say sherbert. There is no second R. There's no Bert. So is it like wherever the word is from, is it pronounced like sherbet, like sorbet? Like sorbet. Or is it like a mutation of sorbet? Very possible. But why does every

single person on earth say sherbert? Do you think this is like a Mandela effect kind of thing? What's that? What is that? We're in an ultimate, ultimate, ultimate universe. An alternate reality. I know what you're talking about. I watched, I watched that episode of John Wilson or whatever where people were like, great show. Don't you remember it said, it said Stofer's Stovetop? And it's like, no, you fucking idiot. It never said it. No, but it's true. There is shit like that. Do you know what the Mandela effect is, Kyle? No, I actually, I don't. I'm learning. Oh, God, guys. Let's teach you something. Let's go. Let's turn. I was going to get into this shit. They believe the Mandela effect. There's like this,

I guess it started with a whole bunch of people thought that Nelson Mandela died, was like killed. All right. In prison, right? And like this whole tons of people said that they remember like the news talking about it and they fully have vivid memories of this happening when he didn't and he went on to be the president of South Africa. And they, but they believe it. These people believe it a certain way. And they, they think that like there's a in the space time continuum that something split off. And the only thing that these people remember about their timeline is this thing happening that didn't happen in the new timeline that they're on. It's the dumbest fucking thing in the world because what they're doing is they're going, no, when I was five years old and I had this memory,

I had it exactly. No, it's fruit loops spelled like fruit. And you're like, no, it's two O's. Alrighty then. And people are like, no, I swear it was fruit loop. We're in a different time. It's so weird. It's just like why people double down because of their pride. It's miss memories that a bunch of people have together. And there are conventions where they go together. They're like, yeah, the movie quote was this, but all of a sudden I watched the movie and it's different. But we all said Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. It's like if you build it, they will come, but it's not necessarily, that's not how it was said in the movie. It's like if you build it, Ray, it's like Luke, I am your father. Yeah, he never says that. Right. He never

says that. It's like these things that have been distilled down to a nice line that works out of context. And it's like that's the line because the world says it that way. But when you go back to the movie within context, the line is different. There we go. And you got it. And that's Mandela Effect. And so these people have found each other. They think they're like onto something. And it really is a collection of people with hope. That's the nicest way I can put this. What are they hoping for? They're hoping that like there's another plane of existence. They're hoping that they're not idiots. They're hoping that they're not wrong because there has to be some bigger explanation other than they're wrong. Right. Well, it's also, I think a lot

of people want to believe like when Elon Musk started to say like talk about like timelines and talk about how like we're in a simulation and shit. I think people just really want to believe that shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Because they can't believe how shitty their lives are. Do you think Neo ever sits down and goes, man, this has got to be some fucked up reality. This can't be it. No, he's Neo and he's out there like, are you referencing the matrix? Let's go. No, I don't think he's are you. I'm referencing the R&B singer. Oh, yeah. That's what I thought you were. Oh, Neo. And also has he even bitten in as he even sang a song in eight years? Neo? Would you, after the year of the gentleman, you don't have to do anything.

Thank you. Okay. Hey, let's go. He's Mr. Independent now. You're referencing a character from the matrix like, homie. That's weird. That's cross-referencing. I apologize. Yeah, because the matrix is kind of about it. Right. Right. Okay. You're stepping on toes, man. Tyrese is killing a, to be fair, isn't Tyrese's nickname Black Matrix? Is it? Is it? No, I made that up. Oh, man. You could believe that, though. Yeah, we could. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three-pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and

our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or, what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of Betrayal.

Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to Season 2 of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story,

you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me, because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team. To experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel, listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story with the

creatives, the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, Thursdays on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. The car service I took us from the hotel to the resort was like, do you guys want to go to the pharmacy? And I'm not a pill guy, so I don't even know that that's a thing. So I was like, and Chloe needed toothpaste. She forgot toothpaste. So I'm like, I guess, yeah, if it's on the way, we'll stop. And so he's like, I got you. And he took us there, no toothpaste. And it's just like a wall of drugs. And then they hand me a menu. And I was like, Oh, do I get into drugs on this trip? Oh, yeah. What'd they have to offer you? They had everything,

dude. They had Xanax, which I've never really fucked with, but I know people love. They have pain pills that I don't fuck with. But like, I know people do. And then they had steroids, which I was like, real close. How do they like label them? Are there like sections? Yeah, there was like painkillers, like a picture of like a buff dude. So you're like, Oh, this is the steroids over here. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's not bury the headline. What was up with them dick pills? Yeah. Yeah, they had dick pills. They for sure had dick pills. Yeah, they got that. Right. Chloe, go get in the car. Yeah, it's just like, Oh, you know, it'd be hilarious if we got like a thousand dick pills and gave it to people as jokes. That'd be hilarious. Prank wars. And then

I give you guys each like two dick pills, like as a joke. Hey, what happened to the other 990 dick pills, Adam? I don't know. Please touch it. It's gonna explode. That'd be a cool wedding, though. Everybody's just got boners all the time. Dude, bone tent. I'd be down for that. You know that that the leader of a youth group is for sure screening. Let's go when talking about like, let's go about scripture or about climbing a rock wall. All right, everybody, are y'all, y'all ready to recite the Lord's Prayer? Let's go. He knows every hair on your head, brother. Let's go. Jesus gets my pecker hard on the third day. He rose again, much like my pecker. Let's go. Do you guys remember when we were when workaholics had just premiered and it wasn't actually out

yet. We just premiered it at the Trump roast. No, at the. That was it. That was it. That was the first time on TV. It was before we were in Miami and it was for like the South Beach Comedy Festival and we showed it to like a room of 400 college kids and it was awesome and they loved it. It did well. If I recall. Yeah, it did really well and we were like, holy shit, I think people are actually going to like the show and we partied like we had just won the NBA finals. We like went out that night. We're like, yeah. And it was like 3 a.m. or 4 a.m. and we're in South Beach somewhere and it's our first time there and we're just like partying our fucking faces up. And I remember we were at some like karaoke place, but in like a nice hotel bar and I can't remember

exactly where we were, but some girl comes up to me and she's like a babe, dude. And she's just like chopping me up and I'm like, I must just be throwing out like mad confident aura because the show just premiered and it did so great. And I'm like, I must be like throwing it out right now. And she's like, do you want to come back to my room? It's I have a hotel room right next door. Yeah, I do. But then I was thinking, I was like, oh, I'm so fucked up right now. Like I'm like active. I'm like really drunk. Yeah, I'm not going to be able to have sex with this girl. And so I'm like, you know what? I got to go splash some water in my face to gear up for this situation. So I'm like, hang on a second, babe. Actually, I'm sure it's awesome. But when I go into the bathroom,

I got to go puke all this poison out of my myself. And so I splashed some water in my face. I was like, all right, you can do this. And I go back out and then I see her chopping up some other just like dumpy dude just just chopping him up and he's like in he like touches her lower back and like walks away with her. And then I see she has a scorpion tattoo on her thigh. And I'm like, Oh, I think I think she was a prostitute. And I just stamped too drunk and too naive to notice that. Remember the part two of that? What's the part two? Is that there was this one, just the star of the show that night. That's right. He was probably five foot four, a hundred pounds. And he was probably like

18 in a day or 20, young dude. And he was just full on sexuality dancing in the middle of this entire karaoke bar. And he was looking everybody directly in the eyes. And Miami's different. He also got arrested for being a prostitute. We're like, who's this guy? He's killing it. Did he really? Yeah. Yeah. Did we stay on stage and like play fucking bongos and shit that night? And like, like hella late, like we were jammed. I did Tina Turner's We Don't Need Another Hero. I want to say Isaac did like some, some 80s punk. Isaac's our manager. Our manager. Yeah. I just remember like commandeering the drums. I'm glad that we have Ders here to remember all the details late at night. It got fuzzy for me. I can't remember nothing.

It gets a little blurry for Miami's the best. It's so underrated. Miami psycho. And then we went back to the hotel and we're like all going in our rooms, but we're like right next to each other. And there's balconies outside and it's overlooking the ocean, but it's like a horseshoe shaped hotel. And we were on the middle part of the horseshoe. And all of a sudden Ders goes, holy shit, dudes. He's like yelling out of the balcony. And he's like, he's like, he's like, I think you guys want to come out here. And we all come out on our individual balconies and look out. And there's just some guy with all the lights on his hotel room, just having a full blown threesome just just going for it. As the sun was coming up and

it was like the sun was coming up and we were like, Hey guys, I guess this is our lives now. Watching people. We're kind of part of orgies now. Yeah. This is starting people from my football field away. Hey guys, this is this is our lives now. It was crazy. Yeah, that was like, it was like 430 to five in the morning. We watched that happen as the sun went up. Yeah. And just memories. That was cool because that was like the first time we all had our own hotel rooms. Before that, we were like sharing. Yeah, we were like a traveling circus just jam packed. Yeah, I would sleep in the closet. Yeah. I don't know who got the beds and how probably Ders and Adam got the beds. Probably. Oh, well, do we want to tell that story? What's that story?

We're telling it's story time. Story time. Is this like Comic Con story? No, no, this is before it is before everything when we were doing a national lamp. Oh, I know where you're going with tour and we were all in a hotel room together and came back from the club. Oh, I was not there. Somewhere. I was not there. I have the recording. Kyle has a recording. Just if you're imagining, I'm at our house. Yes. Kyle's back in LA. Drawing on hats. Missing us recording albums that you've heard. Yeah. He's recording lonely albums about aliens and shit. That's exactly what was going on. We're on tour in, is this Chicago? This happen? Yeah, I think so. Right? And we get some deep dish pizza because I was like, we got to get it. We go out for drinking. Wait, where were we performing

though? Waukegan? Where were we? No, that was weird. We were performing at the Zanies in Vernon Hills. Zanies Vernon Hills. Shout out Vernon Hills. And we swapped out a city name in our sketch for Waukegan and played pretty good, if I remember. Gotta laugh every time. I think I had 230. Is that right for a gummy 30? That's big. 30? Or maybe I had two 15ers. Well, I mean, that's a lot too. Yeah, that's a big dose. I was toast. Yeah. Well, I mean, and that's fun if you're like, I'm getting fucked up on edibles, which sometimes that's fun to do. But other times you're just like, I'm at the point that I like to be high, but I want to have the option that in 30 minutes, I won't be on the moon. You can go for an all out sprint. I can go out,

I can go and smoke a little more, or I can have another little edible and just keep that buzz going instead of just, you know, peeking. That's why I don't beer bong that often anymore. Yeah, we got to get back into that by the way. Oh, I did. I beer bonged on my birthday and I shot gunned on my birthday and I felt like my body was going to explode. I like chugged like nine beers. I'm too old. I'm 37 years old and I'm just like pounding beers. And I felt like my body was going to pop by the end of the night. And I'm like, I understand why I haven't done this in a while. That being said, hero shit. That being said, I'm still going to send it. There it is. Thank you. Dude, when we went, I remember when we went to New Orleans, that was the first

time I fucked around with edibles like in a major way because I had just quit drinking. And like, so I needed something to do because I was so fucking fidgety in New Orleans. And I had these 200 milligram bars, like these little tiny doggies that I was like, yeah, they were called like Cheeba Chews. I feel like they were early Cheeba Chews. And that was still when before micro dosing was the game. It was like how much can you fit into a small amount. And so they had put like 150 or 200 milligrams into this little tiny Tootsie Roll size Cheeba Chew. And I fucking took the thing to the dome and watched the secret life of Walter Middy. Perfect. You're like, oh my God, his life is secret. That's fucking movie rocks, dude. It was

so fucking good. Ben Stiller's high art, man. It was amazing. He's just shredding down like on that skateboard. I remember like the cool CGI of him just like ripping on the skateboard. And the whole time I'm like, why couldn't they get Adam Scott's fucking beard right? Like everything else is gorgeous. But Adam Scott's beard looks like dog shit. It looks like a groundling. That was just his beard, dude. He demanded a picture. How about Sean Penn at the end of the movie? He was so, I'm like, this dude is fucking good. That's right. The whole movie's about finding like a white bobcat or something. He's like, you just, you don't even take the picture sometimes. I was like, whoa, that's penmanship. Whoa, this got dumb. I was so scared though. So then the

movie ended and I was like fucking crying. Thought I had to call an ambulance because I was so stoned. I was looking at my fucking eyes and it was like, I should have. It cost like, it was like a $25 hotel movie. I wasn't going to fucking run that shit back. But yeah, it was scary. 200, that was a lot of fucking MGs. In another life, I feel like I would have been a co-kid. Oh yeah. Like, I just don't like the feeling. If you were more in your prime in the 80s, you would be coke to the wall. Yeah, I'd be coke to the max for sure. Well, cocaine also fucking rules. It's so dope. Yeah, it's really dope. I don't know, never done it. Yeah, I love that shit. Yeah. We've never done cocaine. Me? Yeah. No. Wow. I'm so glad you

haven't. Can you imagine, my whole thing is like, I'm just not a hard drug guy, but I'm like, can you imagine me on cocaine? Yes. Have you seen American Psycho? You'd be Patrick Bateman. You'd be up for a week straight. You would just see a bag of cocaine and all of a sudden, just start sprinting somewhere. Yeah. Oh man, you got to try it, dude. No, I don't think there's needs to. I'm not really interested in. I wonder what drug I would want to do. I don't know. You should do some micro dosing of shrooms. I think that might do you. Yeah, the silly Saibon, bro. Oh, you've never done mushrooms either, huh, Jersey? No, no. My gosh. Yeah, mushrooms are my favorite drug. I will say, I haven't done all the drugs, but I've done a fair

amount of drugs and mushrooms are for sure my favorite. It's awesome. Yeah, they rock. And that's just you. You're just hallucinating and going, wow, look at that possum over there, but really, it's like a cuckoo clock. No, it's not that psycho. No, it's not. It's very rarely, you're very rarely seen shit, but you have to take a lot. Yeah. But I mean, I used to do a lot of mushrooms in high schools. Hey, kids, if you want to get ahead of life, allegedly. Yeah. Yeah, I probably did like 25 times in high school and 20, but who's counting? Yeah, like, I mean, dozens, like a couple dozen, probably. And it's and then less as I've gotten older, just because, you know, you just kind of do less drugs. You got to be somewhere. Yeah, you have things to do. But it's just the

fucking best. It's you laugh so hard, colors are more vibrant. And I just started not just started, but I've like two years ago, I went to a buddy's birthday party and we all microdosed and out in the desert. And I'm like, well, I was like, I don't know if I really want to be on mushrooms right now. This is more of a party atmosphere. I'm trying to read. Is that the Friday that you were there and I came on Saturday? Yeah, exactly. You came the next day. And I was like, I don't know if I really want to do this. And our buddy whose birthday it was, he was like, it's microdose. It's not the same. You're not going to trip balls. It's just kind of the fun effects where everything you're just giggly and everything's like in super focus. Vibrant. Everything's vibrant. The colors

are on and popping. And I'm like, all right, I'll give it a go. Vibro. And I was fully vibroed. Vibro. And so then we took it. I was like, oh, why am I not doing this every day right when I wake up in the morning, allegedly? Well, that was the thing. I didn't do shrooms until microdosing became like an idea because before it was like just fucking take the eighth to the dome. And it's like, I'm so scared of doing that because I already have a vivid imagination, very nervous as to where I'm going to go. Yeah, you're talking about colors. And I'm like, I feel like colors are they're doing their thing already for me. Yeah, that's why I stayed away from the hallucinogens and all that because I'm like, dude, I'm already like fucking pretty vibro, like just walking around. Yeah,

there's no doubt in my mind about that. Yeah, you are a vibro. Yeah, but the microdosing was something else. Like that's like, it's cool, because you can just take a little tiny drop and then like, you're like, Oh, do you think that dude micro has his own line of micro dose? I hope so. It's a dirty job. Dirty jobs. Hey, it's me with the hat. I got micro doses. That'd be fucking sick. Damn, you're on to something. I'm on something. Well, I feel every time I've ever done mushrooms, like a real amount of mushrooms, not just like a little micro dose, I always think like, that you've, you haven't figured out. Yeah. Like the universe. Shit becomes clear to you. Right. You're like, yes, you know what? I understand it now. And then as soon as you get sober again,

like six, eight hours later, you're like, what the fuck did I have figured out? Yeah, son of a bitch. And actually, me and my homie Austin, who you guys know, we actually back in the day when we were like 19 years old, we filmed ourselves tripping so we could look back and be like, well, that then we'll look back and kind of know, hopefully maybe we said something to where we could figure it all out, the universe, basically. And then we just went back and looked at, it's like an eight hour tape of us just like touching the popcorn ceiling on our shitty apartment and being like, whoa, you've got to feel this too. It's a state of mind, man. Jesus. Just children, poisoned, feeling walls. I got to see those tapes. What about LSD? Have you guys ever fucked with

LSD or? Oh, that I've done a ton of. Yeah. That's regular, brother. Ders went right to acid. Spinal tap? Well, that's what I mean, I was tripping like my pops was like LSD was my favorite drug. And I was like, Oh, really? Well, that was a more of a 70s drug. I mean, people obviously still do it, but like that was big in the 70s. I've never done it again. That feels harder to control than silly side, but it just feels like it's not gonna be with a mushroom. Mushrooms, you see how much you're ingesting. And it was just grown from the earth. Like with acid, like when you do, if like they put it on a tab or I've seen people, I've never done it myself either, but like they put it on a gum and you're like, you don't know how much they accidentally squirted

from their little droplet. Right. It feels much more of like a medication laboratory thing than anything else. You know, by the way, this laboratory you're imagining is like some fucking dank, funky ass kitchen where they're like pulling it all together and you might die, you might not. Yeah. This isn't Cal State Berkeley, brother. Just put some palm olive in there to give us some texture, a little slickness to it. Put some dye in it. Yeah. My dad said something like he was like when, when you were born, I was so worried that I had been doing too much acid and I was going to like, you were going to come out fucked up. And I was like, Oh, okay. And you did. I think he's on to something. Burning others feels good.

Ladies and gentlemen, and in between at home, we did not communicate about that. So I'm, I'm hard rock hard. That's amazing. You got a hard pecker now. Peckers are hard. As hard as it gets these days. Is that what your dad said, Cal? You got a hard pecker? Yeah. I said, that makes my pecker. Yeah. Didn't your dad ask you if you had a hard pecker? No, it was hell. Wait, no, I distinctly remember it saying stoffers. How hard is your pecker? Oh, my dad was just talking about tools and said like, that makes my pecker hard. That was the Mandela effect about Kyle's hard dick. Yeah, right. Did your dad ask you like you asked to look at your hard pecker? What? No, what the fuck? Mandela effect is how hard it gets your

pecker. Yeah. I'm not the brains behind this operation. I don't, I have no idea. I just like how it tastes and I like weed. So how is it up your butt? Let me ask you this. Have you, have you shotguned any? Have you, have you guys not rode it? No, I haven't shotguned, but I mean, they're super chug-able. They're, I mean, what I like to do, I like to butt chug it. Personally, personally, I butt chug it. Perfect. You do a handstand against the wall. And just have one hand to crack it open. Yeah, Chloe, real quick, can you pour this in my asshole? Shake that up real quick. Again? Okay, you just did. Okay, do you really want to know? Okay, my marriage. Hey, babe, you're going to be doing this for the rest of your life. Allegedly.

Did you guys ever grow up with puzzles glued together as a piece of art in your house? Uh, no, absolutely not. I mean, my mom has like hilariously, you know, not shots fired against her, but like very Midwestern style of art that she thinks is awesome. What does that mean to people? That means she likes like wooden things that have words on them that is inspiring. Even from way back? Or like, I know she, I know the whole crib is decked out now, but like, now it's like that. It used to be just like kind of watercolors of like a river or something. And it just, it looks, it was like, oh, obviously this was sold at like a TJ Maxx that she was like, I got to get that frame. Like, did you have, did you guys ever have, like,

did you know what precious moments were? They were like those little like dolls with the eyes. Oh, little figurines. Yeah. And they'd be like what their little sister with a teddy bear and stuff. Yeah. Precious moments. My mom had tons of them. I had one of those in my workaholics office that I had, I got from my grandma's like garage and put up in the workaholics office. I remember that. I remember that. Just precious moments for days. We had like Viking ships and stuff on the house. Shit you're not. It was all just like Norwegian long boats. I love just the Nordic theme. You just had cool death metal shit all over the place. No, just the boats, just like paintings of boats and ships and Vikings. You know what? It starts with boats.

It ends with burning churches. So we get back to the hotel from the bars. Slammered. And there's pizza and Blake and Adam are fighting about like whose arms are bigger or something. Yes, it was, I have the biggest arms and lemmings. It started getting real and then probably the realest argument we've ever been in. And I'm just like, well, the thing is, is it's not an argument. It's measurable. It's not like, no, but it was about something else because you claimed a bed and he was like, that's my bed. And then you threw his stuff onto another bed. He threw pizza in my ass. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. I thought he puked in the limo and lied about it. I didn't lie about it. Oh, no, you did puke though. I did puke because you ate hella,

there was like Chinese food continental dinner at the hotel. Let's start at the beginning. There is no beginning. Jillian was there. We got to ask her at some point. So we went out and this was the night before the show. We got in our director, Jay Leggett, RIP. He passed away. He got us a limo and he's like, I'm going to take you guys out on the town, show you Chicago. And we're like, oh, hell yeah. So we get in the limo right before the limo. The hotel we were staying at had all you can eat free Bud Light. Yes. All you could drink Bud Light and all you could eat egg rolls. And so I'm like, I'm, you know, I'm poor. We were crushing it. I'm like, I was like, we're broke. I was like 20, 21 years old. I didn't go on the trip because they were going to pay

me $75 for like six days worth of work. And I'm like, no dude, it was a whole scam. I don't want to get into that again. Well, it was worth it because it was a great story. But I had no money. And so I was like, you know what, I'm going to eat all the egg rolls I can handle now. We were all crushing them. Yeah, build a base. So I don't have to eat dinner later. This is smart. So I don't have to pay for dinner. Right. Yeah, you're saving money. And so I ate like 15 egg rolls or something and was just chugging the Bud Light. And that didn't go well in the guts. We get in the limo. And I want to say, I want to say that they also like, they're like, okay, hey, it's six PM, the Bud Light and egg rolls are over. And then they just like closed doors on like a cabinet

to a keg. And we were like, okay, we'll stop. And then for another hour, we just opened the cabinet and kept drinking and getting hammered. And then yes, we were hammered by when we got into that limo going out for the night. So you're in the limo topped out with egg rolls and Bud Light. Tell me all of egg rolls. That's it. How many people in the limo? There's like nine or ten of you, right? Yeah, we're packed in. And I remember I yacked in the limo and like the beginning of the night. And I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry. And we're like, oh, jeez. And the guys all pissed at me, but we had them for the night. And I'm like, oh, to do it. And it's like, oh, fuck. And we get to the place and everyone's kind of salty at me that I puked in the limo. And I'm like, I'm sorry,

it didn't mean to. But then we, I rallied and we continued and we go out for the full night. Yeah, this is another one of your lives, by the way. I vomited from alcohol poisoning rallied kept drinking. Isn't that what happened? Yes. That's what I'm saying. One of another one of your lives. Not a lie. Lives. I thought you said lies. Another one of your lies, Adam. No, no, no, dude. No, no lies here. This is all true. Zero lies. Yeah, I'm like, I'm telling you how I remember it. This is honest Abe over here, man. Come on. L-I-V-E. And so then we go out and then we had a great night. I remember there's like fun photos of that night and we all look really sloppy. There's

really funny photos of Blake looking like just a spicy 55 year old divorcee who had won too many margaritas. I definitely had my pants off in the limo on the way home. That's for sure. Yeah, so when did the turmoil begin? So on the way home, you take your pants off? They're fighting about something that was in the arms and then it got into who's got the biggest arms. And this is what I think it was. I think Adam like collapsed onto what it was Blake's bed. And so then he was like, get off. And he goes here, throw your stuff, and he threw his stuff onto the other bed, which is just not, that's not kosher. You don't do that. But everyone's drunk. And then Blake was just like, no, put it back. And you're like, no, I'm already sleeping here.

And then who threw pizza into who's butt? Somebody took a piece of pizza and then just like threw it into somebody's butt. What actually happened with Blake fell onto my bed. And Blake moved, I think he moved my shit onto the other bed. And he's like, I get this bed. I'm like, I already called that bed. Not kosher. And then he had his pants hanging off. Right. Like he does. And I go, well, if you're gonna, if you're gonna lay on what I claimed is my bed, I'm gonna throw this leftover deep dish pizza in your asshole. His ass was hanging out. He had his entire ass just up in the, I'm like, come on, man, why is your whole fucking ass hanging out? You used to get like, pull your pants like dangerously down when you were drunk. You love

They're still, they're down right now. Stand up, stand up. We're finally gonna see the butt. Yeah, don't be pulling it up. You're pulling it up. Nope. See, all the way down. See, yeah, look at that. Here's a whole asshole is hanging out of his pants right now. I'm from the bay, dude. We sag, bro. Oh yeah. No one, no one anywhere else sags. Yeah, I guess that's only a bay area. Anyway, so I threw deep dish pizza directly into Blake's asshole. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains

and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a

terrible secret. I scrolled down and that's when I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I got to get out of the house. He's going to find out that I've seen this. He's going to come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team

to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel. Listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat and you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story with the creatives, the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, Thursdays on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or anywhere you get

your podcasts. The bond of the hangover. It's so much fun. It is. Some of the funniest mornings I've ever had is fighting through a hangover with my buds. I'm saying that's what they're selling it for. I'm saying I also love that next day when like you then go out and with your with your like the crew that's still there the next day and you go get breakfast or whatever and you're like, and I can't believe you did that. And then like the one guy who like fell asleep in the neighbor's yard comes he shows up to the breakfast spot and everybody's like, oh, he's not dead. And then you're and then you're texting your one buddy to show up and then he does it and then you find out he did die. Okay, but he did die. Yeah, he actually did die. He was really drunk and he

walked into the freeway. So that's also if you had a stick epic ass hangover night. But if it was just like you and your roommate and you both fucking crushed tall cans and you both woke up hung over as fuck and it's like, uh, yeah, that's less fun. Yes. Yeah, dude. Hey, remember last night when you pissed yourself and it was just me and you opened up your dresser drawer and peed in it hilarious. Hey, remember when me and you were just watching Shark Tank and you got weirdly way too drunk and started telling me that you love me and that you never loved your mom? Yeah, but isn't that the cool thing about it where it's like, it helps you recognize how shitty the behavior is? You're like, I can't, I can't fucking do this. This is, this was too much.

I mean, I know Kyle was talking about how sick of the hangovers you were. Yeah, yeah, no. I mean, but I don't miss like the feeling or honestly, I don't really miss fighting through the mornings as your roommates to the mornings. Yeah, fighting my roommates. But I know what you're saying because honestly, some of the funniest mornings and some of the like still inside jokes that I have with like my dude crews all across America. Multiple crews. This guy's multiple. He sure does. No, but you know, like after like a drunken Renfair. Oh my God, dude. Yes. Definitely Renfair. I love it. The ripping in the Terran. The ripping in the Terran. Is that a lance in your pants? I'm thinking about this because we all like camped in our fucking cars. We all like,

we stole a. The ripping in the Terran. We like fucking got wasted, found where they had the taps and got smashed. And it's just like, that's the funnest in the morning. The ripping in the Terran. I don't think I've laughed harder than just like with my eyes closed, still on the couch or like in a hotel room with like seven other dudes. We're like, no one can move. Do tell. But people are just like shouting shit from across the room and like recalling stuff last night. These are young hangovers though. Y'all are talking about days of yesteryear. Oh, we're talking 22 year old hangovers. Yeah. Those are fun as fuck. Yeah. Those are great. A nice 19 year old hangover. Those are fantastic.

Oh, I love those. I would go up to like 26, 27, like Derzys bachelor party. We were like 26. I remember being like, this is so fucking tight. But also we were a youthful 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32. You know what I mean? Like a lot of people that age, like it took us a while to grow. I'm still pretty youthful. Like I feel like it took us a long time when other friends of ours are like married by 23 and have kids by 25. I gotta go back to a reunion and just see some people size them up. Yeah, I think we did. We did a good job of hanging on to to our youth. I think, hey, for anyone listening, that's maybe 21 or two. Don't get married until you're in your 30s and keep drinking and partying with your friends. Give me a hell yeah.

Okay. Taper it off around 27. You don't have to. I didn't. I'm still not. If it's a problem, I'm speaking for myself. Yeah, if it's a problem, if it's a problem. Yeah. If it's a problem, don't let it be a problem. Okay, right? Yeah. That's really cool that you can do that. If you see neighborhood cars and you feel the need when you're drunk that you have to fight them. Oh, yeah. You have to punch these cars and come back with glass in your knuckles. Bro, that's what I used to do. That's my shit. Yeah, then maybe you do have a problem and maybe you should taper off the drink. Yes, yes. Thank you, Adam. It's a trip. My Nana had had fucking spoons on wooden like cutout things that were just like

spoons were all over the fucking living room. And it's like, why are there spoons everywhere? She was a heroin addict. She's cooking. She's free-facing dog. My mom had hot knives on her mom, bro. Hey, can we talk about Taylor Swift wearing the bear jacket? Oh. And saying 2020 was weird and hopefully 2021 isn't as weird or whatever her comment was. And she's wearing the bear coat, that Blake wore in like the third episode of Workaholics. Bitch, better have my honey. She's wearing it. She's saying like stuff about weird, which that was our catchphrase. Let's get weird. Yeah. And then no love, no tag, no mention. We mentioned Tay-Tay here on the podcast. Said there wasn't a lot of overlap. Evidently there is. Evidently Tay-Tay herself listens to the

pot. I'm looking at it two ways. And they're both, they're both pretty cool. Okay, let's go. Maybe I'm wrong about both. But my first yellow, first version is she's seen the show. She's a fan. She's ashamed. Maybe she heard that we talked about her. Maybe she didn't. Either way, she's repping. The other like side of this coin is that Taylor Swift is who we're talking about. I just said Tay-Tay. Yeah, I don't know if I mentioned the bear coat and saying let's get weird is just now like ubiquitously part of culture and she didn't even realize she was doing it. It's Mandela effect. And we are Nelson Mandela to her. I do have a piece of intel though. Well, not really. It's just pizza. Okay, Blake, let's go. Pizza, pizza. Pizza, pizza. Pizza, intel. Pizza, pizza, intel.

I like thinking of like a therapist who like just continually is like, okay, let's go. Let's go. That coat is official bear, workaholics merchandise. That's the one they released. Yes, that's what I thought too. It looked like it came from. It says like workaholics in the hood of the, yeah, it says workaholics on that coat. So she definitely watches the show and knows it's from the show or kicks it with somebody who fucking loves the show enough to buy a hundred dollar bear coat from Urban Outfitters. You know what? You know what this is? I'd like to talk right now to Taylor Swift because she's listening. She's a fan. Everybody else turn it off. Hey, turn it off. Well, it'll get,

it'll get to her. Just quiet. If you could mute it just for a minute. I'd appreciate it if you're not Taylor Swift because Tay-Tay, I would just like to say thank you and we appreciate you and we're all fans. Like I think we mentioned it on the podcast about how I saw her live in concert and I was like, oh, I get it. You're absolutely stunning. You're wildly talented. You deserve all the success coming your way. Tay-Tay Swift. And that's to you. Now everybody can turn it back up. Everyone can turn it back up. I'm no longer talking directly to Tay-Tay Swift. Bring it back. We're still talking about it, but yeah. And I feel it's a huge compliment that her most recent album was basically about us. Yeah, it kind of was almost entirely about us.

Was it? What? Right. Well, have you listened to it? No, I need to listen to this. There's like little things you can pick up on. Easter eggs. A lot of innuendo, Easter eggs, thank you. Wow. Yeah. Very cool. Yeah, the first through last tracks, there's little things about us. Yeah, from the very first one to the very last one and also the secret ones is almost entirely about us. I think Adam has the best butt. Yeah, there's a lot of that. Oh my gosh. Yeah, you did hear that track. Hey, everyone else, stop listening for just a moment. Turn it down. Taylor Swift, who's got the best butt? Because honestly, I don't care about any ball that is out there. Whatever Taylor Swift says, that's the one. Keep it real. She's wearing the bear coat,

so we know who she picks. Who wore the bear coat? Who's she really shouting out here, huh? Yeah, but the bear coat covers the ass. Maybe she's like, yeah, you got to cover this thing. It's disgusting back there. She's also wearing pants. Oh, come on. Yeah, keep dreaming. Everyone knows I wore pants in most of the episodes. You did wear pants a lot. You wore them well. Taylor, I know you, Taylor, everybody else turn it down. Everybody turn it down. Okay. Turn it down. I'm speaking directly to Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift, hey. We never brought them back. Okay, let's go. Oh, okay. Keep it down. I brought them back. I did. I brought them back. The audience was back and then now they're leaving again because Kyle's about to talk directly to Taylor Swift.

Dude, he had a fanny pack with a motherfucking Italian sandwich in it. It was half eaten. Yeah, you'd smell him before he shot you. Yeah, he said, if you smell the Italian sandwich, you're already dead. I was eating a subway spicy Italian, like, because I hadn't eaten all day, and we were like getting ready to jam out, and I was like, I'm not going to eat a 12-inch sandwich and then run around. So I ate half of it and stuff the other in my Art Teric's fanny pack. It's also, couldn't you just like put it in your car or something? No, because I was like there, we were like lighting candles and saying happy birthday or some shit. So I stuffed it in a fanny pack and he was like, what are you just going to carry that? Like you're saying? I go,

that's right, bitch. Right before you die, you're going to smell the spicy Italian. If you smell spicy Italian, you're already dead. You're already dead. It was so clean, so good. I'll never forget it, man. That shit was hella fun. Paintball and rocks. It hurts so bad. You are legit running for your life. Man, I had a paintball hit me in the back, knocked the fucking wind out of me. I went down. We never did it in high school. We never did it in proper paintballing places. We would go out to the middle of the country and do it in the cornfields with like, there was a cornfield that surrounded and abandoned a farmhouse. So then and then there

was like silos and shit and people would get fucking very hurt. Some kid fell through the barn. Right, because he's trying to get some pimp ass position up there. He was like trying to snipe from the loft of the barn and it's all just rotten wood and just fucking like running around and we're like, where's Cody? And all of a sudden you're like, crash and he fucking falls like 15 feet just and I think he broke a rib. It was pretty fucking bad. I mean, you. Ow, ow, ow, ow, stop, stop. Were you guys drunk criers? At what age do you hit when you stop crying when you get drunk? That is a real high school thing. What are you talking about?

No, that was I mean, I can speak to that. That's me, dude. That's I had the nickname of cryo when I would get wasted. You should not have told me that. No, it's all good. I'm seven years. I'm seven years out the game. That's a t shirt. Now my mom is it big into like wooden signs that say shit specifically about like the she just moved to a lake a few years ago. And it has so many things that just say like lake life. And yeah, she's like hobby lobbied out. It's absurd. And I tried to talk to her and I'm like, this is a lot. And she's like, well, no, there's hardly any pieces. Was she like, it's a bit, you fucking idiot. It's a big dude. It's funny, dude.

You fucking idiot. I thought you're into comedy. It's hilarious. What is that? Is that like an Amazon addiction that she's just like constantly looking for fucking a Kutra? No, no, no, it's she's not buying a lot of this stuff. Where's it coming from? Yeah, I think it's she like had one or two things. And then she tells people like, I like having wooden signs. And then people are like, Penny likes wooden signs, Penny likes wooden signs. So when they come and stay, they bring one. And then and then she's just gifted so many signs. And I'm like, you don't need to put all of them up. It's an insane amount. Because there's I mean, it's in my Instagram story like a highlight

because I went around and I'm like, mom, this is a lot of words all over your house. And she's like, no, there's just a few. And I'm like, I bet there's 60. And she's like, no. And I went around, there's like 50 or 60 things that just say shit all over. Just keep you entertained as you walk through the crib. But I'm like, wonder what my shit like our shit is going to be. You know, Blake is going to have the wackiest fucking house of all time when he's he already does. I don't know why we're saying what it's going to be. Like we all have homes that aren't bare walls. Like, Kyle has a ton of paintings that his wife did. Blake has a fucking like Pee Wee's Playhouse. Yeah, what is yours? Didn't like your wife go like wild on lizards or some shit?

Wild on. Great show. There was like lizard art all over. Oh, yeah, she did. We had a whole bunch of like a bunch of lizard art. Yeah. And put it in our room that was like the lizard room. And it was insane. It got to the level that we're talking about. And I remember I was like, I didn't really have the heart. I was like, this is your art room. You do whatever you'd like in here. That's fine. And then you guys came over and you guys roasted the room. And then like, yeah, I remember walking in on me and like, holy shit, there's a lot of lizards in here. And you like, I remember you getting self conscious. Like, yeah, yeah, there is a lot, a whole lot of lizards. It's cool. Lizards are actually cool. New year. Let's look back. But from now on, let's look forward

guy and Blake well said, Hey, will you write that down and put that on a shirt for the show? If you could get a piece of wood and paint that and my mom would like that in your house. If you could paint that in cursive on a piece of wood, my mom would like to put that one more time. Turn it down. I'm talking directly to Taylor. Taylor, you have impeccable taste. I know that you have chosen Blake as the best Hiney and I knew that we're soulmates and I do enjoy you and everything about you. Okay, everybody can turn it back out. You're spinning out of control. Hey, everyone, turn it back up. Yeah, what the fuck? Turn it back up. Yeah, it's cool. Turn it back up guys. Welcome back. Hey, this wasn't about hitting on Taylor Swift Kyle at all.

Yeah, I'm married. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not hitting on her. Exactly. So what's happened? What was that? Well, you just said we're soulmates. What happened there? You kind of spot out. I meant to say, Oh, everybody turn it down real quick. I got a correct zone thing that I said to Taylor. Actually, no, I'll do it. Everybody, everybody, if you could just turn it down, I have a message for Taylor and I just want to apologize for Kyle. Okay. Don't turn it back up. Let me just say real quick. I'm sorry, Taylor, for saying soulmates. I didn't mean that I'm married. I'm sorry. I forgot your hopes up. I meant to say kindred spirits. Thank you. Everybody can turn it back up. Okay. That's even weirder. You thought you got her hopes

up? Yeah. Like she's, she's bummed. Turn it back down, everybody. You think you got her pecker hard? I can see Taylor, I can see Taylor specifically fucking with Carl the drug dealer, though. Thank you. Because you know, like anyone that like has like such a, like she has like a goody kind of goody two shoes vibe about her squeaky clean. Like that's her persona at least public image. That you know, they're always just the baddest chicks. You know, they're always just wild bad, bad gals. Yeah, they like discusses or boys, if that's your thing, you know, yeah, I mean, Dustin Diamond, let's let's take him first. Okay. Screech. Screech. Yeah. From say by the bell, you know, you look at him, you're like, he's a, he's a, you know,

kind of a sweetheart, kind of a total to work, like a lovable guy. Turns out psycho psychopath. Psycho nightmare, man. Allegedly. There was like rape cases against him. Allegedly. I'm not sure. Not willing to look it up, but willing to say here on the podcast, there's like rape cases or something. I'm not going to look it up, but there's something about allegedly, allegedly, allegedly, but that is kind of the thing. I will say like, when people are assholes as their persona, for the most part, they're pretty nice guys. Like they put that asshole on as like part of their persona, but then they're really nice people. Right. Right. For the most part. Like Jessalnick, like Anthony Jessalnick is like a really nice guy. You know what I mean?

But his whole stick is that he's like the meanest, most cutting comedian that you can, you can be. He's fun. Right. I mean, look at Durs. Everybody thinks he's an asshole. He's a goddamn teddy bear. Yeah, it's true. You break it down. He is. He's a. Thanks. You're. That's what you're supposed to. Welcome. Thanks for that. Hey, let's go. And you're welcome. Let's go. Guys, let's go. Are you calling it? Let's go. Let's call it. Let's go. Okay. Hey guys, let's go. Yeah. I mean, I did do that one time when we, me and you got in a fist fight over Thanksgiving and it was just, it was the worst. We both just like beat the shit out of each other. Mostly you beat my ass, I believe. I don't know. And I remember being like, uh, what is she? What is she like that?

That's over friends. So there was that one time, but I mean, that wasn't like a, and also I was 22 years old when that happened. Like I was, you know, 21 or two. I think that's peak cry when you're drunk age right now. No. No. Well, who else? I mean, yeah, is this a universal thing? I don't think it's that universal. I would love to throw this to the fans. Ders, what's up? Ders has never cried ever. I just don't know what, what like this, like, is this just like, you're so drunk that you can finally like, have an emotion? Like shed it? Yeah. Dude. Yeah. No, it's the demons. It's the demons bubbling. I guess my demons are just different. You have different demons. Yes. Well, did you have any friends that did this at all? Like the emotional drunks? You didn't have a crying friend? No. I

also didn't have, I mean, I guess it would be Kyle. I don't remember him crying a whole lot. I remember him like, getting like, boiling mad and not being able to explain why he's so mad. And he's like, you get it. And we're like, all right, I don't, I don't. Like what is the thing? I guess I'm trying to like recall an episode. Like I think I've seen homies crying drunk, but it was probably because like, they just got beat up by some strangers or something. Or just like, for me, it was like, I remember I cried once in high school and people did not let me live it down for quite a while. And it was because they called me cry. They called me Cratom. Saddam Criveon. Come on, Saddam Criveon. We got the label. You know, they, because it was just because of like a girl,

you know, and like you saw one and started crying. Yeah, I saw one. I'm like, Oh my god, they're so pretty. They're glorious. They're so pretty. I want one. Her hair smells like patty and progamy. How come they won't like me? I want one. Get over here. I'm gonna make seven doors in my basement. Oh boy. No, we've established that under five, under five. Okay, not a creed. Okay, under five doors. Five is acceptable. Wait, so you cried because you broke up the girl or whatever. Yeah, I can't remember the exact scenario. You got discs publicly. That's valid. Yeah, there was, and that was one experience. And that's the only time I remember like crying drunk at a young age. So I don't think it's a universal thing. Like, I mean, for sure, at some point in your youth,

if you drink alcohol, you're going to have some kind of emotional outburst, whether that's crying, or you're just like, fuck you, Eric. And you're like, why, why are they having beef? And then two guys who don't aren't really enemies or, you know, don't actually hate each other when you start swinging on each other. And you're like, nah, I don't know. They have too, too much boons, hard boons, boons farm or fucking. Yeah, what were the little Jack Daniels? Well, I was thinking of Mike's hard lemonade. Lynchburg lemonade. My God. Lynchburg. Also, or two dogs. Do you guys remember two dogs? I think that might have been a specific Midwest. I remember Mad Dog 2020. Was it sweet? Two dogs is like, it was like a Mike's hard lemonade before Mike's hard lemonade.

Do you remember Aftershock? It was like cinnamon liquor with rock candy at the bottom. And then you would save the rock candy because it was like pure liquor. And then like, dude, it's pure liquor. I call it. Yeah, it's like the worm. And you'd finish the bottle and be like, okay, well, we can't get liquor this weekend. So we're going to melt this. I was going to say, is it a situation where like, in case of an emergency, break glass, but then it probably looks just like the rock. No, for sure. You know, we like melted it. We like melted it. Eating the bottle. And we, and then we like poured it out in like little mini shots. So you were free basing Aftershock. Yeah, we would inhale the fumes.

And then that's like resin hits. First of all, all birds kind of suck. Whoa, chill, bro. Yeah, calm. American eagles are so tight. The crane. No, dude, owls fucking rock. No, dude, American eagles are not tight. Flamingos are super dope. Owls are so sick. Owls are so not sick at all. First of all, fuck you. Hey, fuck you. You are wrong. Yo, you're about to get old. You better chill. They can they can hear you. No, fuck you, dude. Hey, Adam, fuck you. I beat you to it. I beat you. I just beat you to it though. Fuck you as hell. No, I already said it. Fuck you. Owls rock. When's the last time you saw a fucking owl? You prick? A few, a few years ago, I moved when I moved into

my house. A few years ago. You're such a fucking dumbass. There was a owl that lived in the tree that like refused to let me move in. He was like a total fucking dick. He'd swoop down. Yeah, that's right. They're super territorial. You'd come out on the balcony. He'd he'd he'd hood the shit out of me, scared me to death. Fucking terrifying. Oh, well, you're a weakling. Yeah, they're scary. Fucking terrifying. They are predators. You're a weak ass. No, I'm not, dude. I'm strong as hell. No, you're a fucking weak ass. Hey, no. And I think you know that that is not true. I'm not a weak ass. I just can't believe this. He's scared of birds. I'm not scared. I just don't like them. Oh, you just said it scared the shit out of you. And that's why you

didn't like it, bro. Well, if you're standing on a balcony and all of a sudden something's like, that will scare the shit out of you, dude. Okay, so you're a weak ass. And that's why you don't like owls. I wouldn't stop my stride. I'd go owl and I would keep walking. I just think you're dismissing the wisdom of one of the most majestic birds on planet Earth. What other birds are amazing, right? What other birds are amazing? They're birds. A hawk, a red tail hawk is fucking cool. Hawks. Oh, a peacock. Hummingbirds. Hummingbirds. I mean, they're cool when they're flying, but I'm saying woodpeckers. They make that noise. Woodpeckers. They have a cartoon. Woodpeckers are the worst. Like my parents' house, there's a woodpecker right outside. It was the absolute

worst thing because they start at like 4.30 in the morning, just pecking the fucking wood, dude. I'm pissed now. You should be up making breakfast with somebody. And I'm just saying I'm pissed now. Fuck birds. And that's a t-shirt. Print it. Fuck birds. Oh, dude. Fuck birds. Wow. I'm pissed now. Fuck you. You don't fight with your friends in the same way that you used to in your 20s when you guys were just roommates and you're with each other all the time. I try. You're done fighting with your friends. Yeah, we don't spend enough time. In that same capacity. Yeah, we're not together enough to where you don't fight like fucking brothers, like children anymore. Now you just go. And I miss that. I'm supposed to be somewhere I gotta go. Yeah. You feel the tension bubbling in

the go. Yeah, in the go. I got a thing. I gotta leave it. I do have a somewhere to be. And you believe that other person because they might. And you want them to leave. Back in the day, you're like, I know you don't. I know you don't have anything to do. No, you don't, bitch. Where? Are you going to go to the coin star? You went to the coin star two days ago, motherfucker. You do not have that change. I can count that shit for you, dude. You, how much you pay me in all fucking? I'll count that change, bitch. Sit your ass down. I'd like to compliment Blake and his use of coin star back in the day. He used to always sit there, assholes, directly into the sky, counting his change on the floor, waiting for a deep dish pizza right

up the bum hole. Well, you know what? I'm going to, my compliment goes to all of us, our friendship. It's battle tested. Still love you, bros. I love you guys. It's nice to be here. I love you guys. Blake, I love you, Kyle. I love you, Ders. I also love you. What do you have to say, Ders? Hey, things could be worse. I love you, Ders. I'd love to hear it from you. I heard it from Blake, heard it from Kyle. I just said it. Dersy. He's choking. His internet's choking. You are breaking up and hey, love is in the air. The clearest I've ever heard, Joe. What's up? Coming through crystal clear, just hit us with it, dog. Tell me, man. Let me give you a compliment on how sweet you're being right now. It's been a tough year,

been a real rough year. Maybe it's time to just come out with it. You're just started, brother. Happy new year. Oh yeah. We're in 2021. Olive juice. Hey, you guys know it? Olive juice. That's cool. You know what would be really important if you just said that you loved your buddies just one time, just that I feel like that would be important. Hey, I love my buddies, guys. This is great. Hey, everybody, quit looking back. Just start looking forward. Put it on a sign. Also, it's good to look back and walk down memory lane, but also let's look forward. Let's also look forward. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career

exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're

sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in

Washington D.C. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can. Signed freeway fan. This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's at a sink with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to freeway phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Turn it down real quick. I want to talk to Adam personally. Okay. So I can't listen? No, you guys take your headphones off. Yeah, if you guys, yeah. Bro, come on. Come take them off. Come take them off. Adam. Yeah, come on. I'm listening. I'm right here, man. What's up? There's a certain level of awareness that we have on this podcast, but sometimes when you shit on us, like it makes us look bad in front of everybody. And I don't know that we should do that. We should just kind of like, you know, keep going and move on. And so what are you, are you saying that I shit on you? Yeah, yeah, you did. You shit on me. Oh my god.

What did I shit on? Oh, I didn't cry about it. You shit on all of us, man. You shit on all of us. When you shit on one of us, you shit on all of us. Okay. I need you to remember that. Okay, everybody turn. Yeah, turn it up. Hey, Kyle, I'm, I was here the whole time. I hate to break it to you, but guess what, buddy? You heard that. Listen to me. If someone shits on you, you let it roll off your back like a duck. Yeah. Copy that. No, I hear that. Okay, Kyle. And I stand in solidarity with theirs. I think you're being a little too sensitive. Copy that. In all fairness, I had no idea he could hear me. Oh, do you need fairness? I just had no idea. I thought I was speaking to Adam alone. I didn't know that you could hear me when I was talking to Adam. I thought

we were having a personal conversation. My bad. I thought you would do what you said. That is your bad. I thought you would respect Kyle's wishes and take the headphones off, but you didn't. You left them on. You heard it and you heard it. I left them on, but I completely tuned out. I'm not going to let this bit. I'm not going to let this bit live. You're killing a bit. You guys are looking at me. I never took them off and you're pretending like you can't see me. I'm not, I'm not letting this bit fly. Wow. Who are you? Why did you get this? And I'm like, I'm on work off. It's just, it's a show. Do you have your phone? IMDB? I'm on work off. You're bringing your up your own. Have you ever had to do that? I have in order to get into my

hotel room, like I lost my key. I like lost my wallet one night and I'm back to coming back to the hotel. We were shooting house party season two and in New Orleans and I'm like drunkenly back at my hotel and I'm like, I don't know. I'm fine. And I'm in the room of, I got a room and it's upstairs and they're like, okay, you have any idea? I don't. And I'm like, look just here, just look me up. And they're like, what? And I'm like, look, look, I'll prove that I'm who I say I am. And I had them look, I had them look me up and then they still wouldn't give me a key. I think it was because I was so fucking drunk and they were just kind of like lording my drunkenness over me. And you probably didn't look like yourself. I was fat headed. Yeah,

your face was probably falling off. They're like, uh, okay, you, this guy's handsome. You look like a deformed troll. Your eyes are melting at it. New Orleans was another level. That was like, that was the best. Well, the funny thing about shooting that show is we only shot for two weeks. We shot 10 episodes in two weeks, two episodes a day. Right. But I still gained enough weight throughout that production as you saw my body morph, even on the last few episodes of every season. You're like, yeah, Jesus. Well, yeah, I mean, dude, your, your intake was at all time. I mean, I don't know, but it was very high. I'm still gonna send it. Yeah, I don't know if that was all time, but it's why I kind of took it back. But yeah, it was, I was, you know, I, I go big and

with, with most endeavors, literally, you got to do one of those things where you take the picture every day so we can just watch you. Just watch my face. That would be fun. Like when they show like buildings getting built, we just see your face exploding. That would be cool. You should definitely commit to a year of that. My neck just start to droop and then get sucked back up. Like that, the fox getting eaten by the maggots, but it's you. What's up? That classic time lapse of like the maggots eating the fox. Yeah, I remember. Time lapse is pretty underrated. You guys don't see that when you close your eyes? Whatever. Time lapses are very, very cool. Yes, they are. Thank you, Blake. Yeah. Thank you. Anything that plays with time filming, to me, is still just

unfucking believable. Like slow motion. The fact that we can see slow motion. Like you're talking time travel movies? Yeah, I fuck with them. It's kind of time travel because it's capturing moments and slowing them down in ways that you're like, oh, the naked eye doesn't see that. Dude, it is so bizarre that no matter how many times I shoot something in slow-mo, it's always like when you play it back, you're like, what the fuck? Like when they pop a water balloon and it like is still there for a moment. I love that. Oh, yeah. Or like if you just light like a big lighter and it looks like a nuclear blast. I feel like the exact same formation as if it was a bomb going off, but it's just the lighter. We're so stupid. That's the universe,

man. That's the universe, dude. It's so fucking cool. Everyone out there is like, yes, it's slow motion. We're just like, no, like when the breeze blows on a puppy's hair, it looks like a field of wheat. Dude, it's gorgeous. The main headline is it made you feel vibro. Yeah. It made me feel vibro. Like I really dug it. Yeah. Yeah. And we are quoting you as saying it makes pain pills make me feel vibro. Yeah. We got to get some merch, some like wraps, some like ace bandages that just say vibro. Kyle, you can't understand the Kiwis you work with? I have trouble sometimes. Like because it's like, like they speak sometimes. I find it hard when anybody speaks like this, but I find mostly Australians and Kiwis are like mumble. Like mumble. Yeah, across the board,

that never works for me. And it's just like, what the fuck is going on? But it feels like, I don't feel like I meet a lot of English speaking people that mumble that bad, but I could also be doing that. Like when I'm just speaking like tired, I might be equally as frustrating to anybody else on planet earth. You know what I mean? And when they're talking to you like that going, are they speaking to you? Are you listening to like a conversation that they're having? Yeah. Are you spying on people? Yeah. No, I feel like you cannot, like when someone from a foreign English speaking country, because that's what we're talking about here, right? Foreign to us. Foreign to us. Yes. But in English speaking country, and they're speaking in their,

their English version of English to someone from their same country. I feel like, yeah, I always have a hard time understanding fucking anyone that that isn't from America. And even sometimes if you talk to people from Philly, it's also confusing sometimes over there too. Yeah, I never under the fresh prince of Bel Air theme song. I'm like, what is he saying? Yo, Holmes. Smell ya later. Smell, smell what later? Makes no sense. Like, tell me you got that one. There it is. We've had that. Well, don't be afraid to bust it out, man. Oh, you know, man, that truly strikes a chord in my sense memories.

Oh, it's perfect. Did you guys ever rob anybody blind for alcohol? Rob anybody for like people's houses? Sure, you'd go to a liquor store or rob a convenience store or rob a ride aid on harbor. Oh, I actually remember that shit from when I first met you, Adam, like you had a whole like, you were like fucking flagrant and didn't give a fuck. Dude, I was ready to go to jail for for a 30 rack of keystone light. That was true flagrant. What were you doing? You would just grab it and walk out. I would just grab it and walk the fuck out with two, two 30 packs, brother. And that's why you're my fucking best friend. And then just walk out and they had a security

guard and he'd just be like, or I would walk into the freezer section, grab this is what I remember and then just exit out the emergency exit. The alarm would go off and I just had a car there waiting for me and we would that is fucking cool. It would explode in the background as you walk away. I know. Absolutely. In hindsight, I'm like, this is the that was the most insane thing I've ever done. I'm not like a I would have bought it if I could have bought it. But I couldn't. I couldn't buy it. So I had to rob it. I went on a fucking family cruise to Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta and Cabo and I bought fucking pain pills there too. And I put them in my jacket. I got a big old bag. I got them for nothing. Put them in my jacket pocket. And as I

was walking back on to the boat with my family, they were like, they patted down my pocket and I was like, Oh fuck, your family did know the fucking the guys that were like making sure you didn't bring anything in a cruise control. And they found this bag of pain pills. So what did they do? And they took it. They just took it. They took it from me. And they took my name. And I did that shit on the slide. Like nobody in my family saw this happen. And so I'm like, okay, shameful. Kyle, that episode did not get my pecker hard. I knew you were too vibro on that trip. Dude, son, I need to talk to you. I was bummed because I was like, I couldn't get vibro. And then I like, at the end of the trip, we were all waiting to D board the ship or whatever

it is. And they call my name over the intercom. They're like, Kyle knew a check come to customs. Oh, did you win something? Oh my God. And I was like, and my whole family, my grandpa, my fucking, they're like, what's going on? I'm like, mom, come with me. Because, because I needed, I knew I was about to get fucked. And so I like, on the way over there, I talked to my mom, I was like, look, I smuggled some pain pills back in. I have some pills that I thought were going to get my pecker hard. But yeah, she say, sweetheart, I know at dinner last night, you were way too vibro. All right. No, she was cool, man. She honestly, like vouched for me and got me off the hook. And I just wasn't, what did she vouch for you? Meaning like, Oh, he needs pain kills. This

guy's no, I, we came up because I was dating a girl that needed pain pills at the time. And so we came up with a plan that was like, look, I'm going to say that I got this for my girlfriend. And, and my mom actually might have not even known that I might have been lying to her and saying like, I got this from my girlfriend. Can you please help me? I didn't know it was illegal. Kyle, I didn't like the podcast. Is it illegal? I think statute of limitations player, it's all good. What was the show where like this, oh, is the Brady Bunch, right? We're like the oldest son, like actually like, got it together with the mom, right? Had sex with the mom. Allegedly. Or like they had like a thing, right? Wasn't that a thing? I wonder if that's ever happened.

Wait, is this Brady Bunch? Is this an episode or is this off? No, this is like behind the scenes, like Greg Brady was like macking. The late seasons of Brady Bunch got weird as fuck, bro. Yeah, they jumped the shark and all of a sudden the oldest son started like necking with his mom. Greg is lifting up that little duck tail she has. So you're saying that the oldest son in the Brady Bunch actually, the actor, Greg, actually fucked the mom. Allegedly. I think that that's the whole, I think they like, they always wink,

winked about it to like interviews because they're like, the rumor is, and they're like, I don't know, did we? And by the way, even if they're winking about it, it's so tight. Yeah. No, no, no, it's awesome. I mean, sure. Because they're the Brady Bunch. Also, I kept it in the plastic. Now I feel like 100% of the time they're like, take it out of the plastic and hand it to me. Yeah, you would hand them the whole wallet. I remember people told me to do that and I would just, I wouldn't give them the whole wallet. I would just hold up in the plastic and hold it up to them and they look and if they asked to take it out, I would just believe I'd go. His wallet had the little window in it.

Yeah. Your ID is it. Also, there was Velcro on the wallet. So I'm a, I'm a true teenager. That has to be like a cool, hot topic wallet and Pokemon. It's like, Hey, man. How about them hushers? I do this ironically anyway. So I'm reading this list. I was like, you can get true steroids. I was thinking maybe we all, I bring them back and as like a, you know, kind of a fun thing that we do on the podcast, we all take steroids for a month and see who has the biggest arms and limits. Friendship. No, we see who's got the smallest nuts. Yeah. Who's nuts shrink the most? We'll all measure our nuts and then at the end of one

month of taking steroids, re-measure our nuts and see who shrunk the most. We'll post and we'll have people vote on who has the smallest nuts. What do you mean? You measure them. That's not like a vote. No, no, no, no. I do vote. I do vote. No, no, we measure and then we have people vote on like cuteness or like, uh, cuteness of the nuts. Right. There you go. Or we have people guesstimate how many wrinkles we have combined in our scrote. Is that a real thing? Steroids shrink your balls? Is that real? Like a real thing? Well, that's, is that real, bam?

Get it? Is it real? Uh, I don't know. So what are we going to do? We can't do that because our show wasn't... We go clean. Yeah. We got to go so squeaky clean that people were like, Oh, guitar stuff. Kirk Cameron style? Yeah. We got to go Kirk Cameron style.

Dude. Yeah. Start making some Christian movies. I would love to pivot to be very Christian. I would love that. I can see that for you. There's always like a super Christian guy that kind of looks like you that's wearing like a scarf that you're kind of rocking a bandana around the neck. This is for COVID purposes. Yeah. For COVID, for COVID, even though everybody just has proper masks now and it's proven that the bandanas don't work that well, but... Okay. But you got, no, you got a look.

It's a COVID look. And I feel like there's Christian guys that look kind of like you with an acoustic guitar and every church in America. So I see that's an easy pivot for you. We roll the window down. No joke. Even fucking immediately. Someone's just like, fake ID, fake ID. And I'm like, yeah. Yes. Yes. Fake ID. And we went into like the back of this like... You're under arrest. This is like dollar store. And they made the fake ID right there. I took a photo.

They fully made a fake ID. Wow. Did you get headshots too? Yeah. I quickly got my first brand. Yeah. I got a headshot. It was pretty. It was a twofer. It was our gentle package. And the dick pills you have to buy for your entire wedding party? All the dick pills you have to buy for the entire...

I mean, it will be fun when I buy us all dick pills and make us take them one hour before the ceremony. That'll be a ceremony. But you're all like, dude, I'm dead. That will be tight just to fucking... And we're all wearing like kilts, like those super white... Those white dude weddings are like, we're wearing kilts. Steve doesn't have anything on underneath.

Fucking Steve. That would be so funny if you like orchestrated the outfits that we had to wear so we couldn't protect our boners and then spiked our fucking... Spiked us with boner pills. See, now this is a wedding. And we're all standing up there like fucking... Protect your boners. 20 margaritas.

Make sure you lick the salt. Okay. Okay. You need us to lick the salt. And he made us wear these linen white pants. He made us wear these meandis. Yeah. It's a beach wedding. It makes sense. He really wanted us in all linen, everything. Bro, are you hard right now?

I've been hard all weekend. Something has made my pecker hard. It's hurting. It won't go down. It hurts. It hurts. I just want to be flaccid. The shrimp tacos must be in aphrodisiac because I want to fuck everything. Don't get it twisted.

Also, every... You go into a church, into a mega church, there's a thousand little fucking beady-eyed me's running around, you know, praising Jesus. Hey, I'm sorry we haven't so twisted about that very specific. Don't get it twisted. Well, I wasn't just shitting on Carl saying he... Or on Blake saying he looks more Christian.

I don't find that to be shitting. I didn't realize that was an insult. Yeah, come on. Oh, it is. Praise Jesus. Okay, then I did have a twisted, I guess. Shit. Yeah, it is. It's a little bit of an insult.

Last time I checked, reading scripture is pretty darn cool. Thank you. Jesus is my rock. Thank you. Thank you. Jesus is my rock. Jesus is my rock. See, Blake is ready for this.

Oh my god. I know it. They tried to low-leave. Hey, the Lord has a plan for me, dog. Okay. Let's go. Let's go. Who's ready to praise Jesus on high?

Let's go. Towels versus rats. You're so dumb. Hey, I've had a pet rat before. I've had a pet rat. I would never allow an owl into my house. It wouldn't want to be in your house. You are so dumb.

Thank you, Blake. Really? Even when they pull up the feathers, you can see how jacked they are? Dude, you can't trust an owl. You cannot trust an owl. Absolutely not. That's what makes them savage.

You're going to stand by that? An owl will fuck your girl. An owl will fuck your girl. Rats? Nah, man. They'll scamper off. What the fuck? The owl said owl will fuck your girl.

Owl? Owl will fuck your girl. That's tight. You're going opposite. Like, a fucking rat is somebody who is something that would fuck your girl. Dude, the owl will give you wisdom. There's a joke there.

No, a rat will tell on you. A rat will be a bitch and tell on you. An owl will fuck your girl. Yeah. No, an owl, dude, no. If you, an owl doesn't trick, because if you go up to owl and you're like, hey, man, was there somebody here?

He's just like, who? And you're like, okay, I see what you're doing here. Oh, yeah, he pleads the fifth. Was my girl with somebody or not? Who? Owl fuck your girl. Owl fuck your girl. Hashtag.

Don't leave me alone with her, because owl will fuck your girl. Hey, did you fuck my girl? Who? Did you fuck my girl? Who? Owl, who? Did you? Owl, who?

Knock, knock, who's there? Owl, owl will fuck your girl. Owl will fuck your girl. Who? And also, I'll say, I know eagles are beautiful, majestic creatures. And I also enjoy, when I see an American bald eagle in a tree, I'm like, whoa, that's pretty legit.

But those guys are fucking eagle maniacs. Well. Like those guys are obvious. Eagle maniacs. Eagle maniacs. You've got it a little twisted, because you're, I think you're thinking of like the majestic ones in the mountaintops, but there's bald eagles

that kick it in the swamps of Florida that are hella down to earth. Right, they're like the people for sure. They're just grimy dudes. They just eat pythons. They're, there's nothing majestic. Okay. Do you like snakes more than birds?

No, I don't like snakes either. I'm, yeah. Do you like snakes more than rats? Or rats more than snakes? What's cool is they all eat each other, all three of these things. Yeah, exactly. We got a cool cycle happening here.

Dude, I used to go to church so much. My grandpa built a church out here. Like that was his thing. He built those. You went so much that he built it? You know what, I'm going to build you a church kid. You know what? You like it so much.

Murray Kroeschemus. He built it. That's the last time I was in a church was for his funeral. Like I was in the sanctuary that he built. And it was like, whoa, like this is two generations removed. And it's just like he put the stained glass up. He built the sanctuary for people to worship in. And I'm telling dick jokes.

Oh, come on, man. You're, you're staying in glass. Yeah. Like it's just like so weird. Yeah, it sounded like his life was pretty boring, honestly. Not to shit on your grandpa, but your life is fucking way better. Too late. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't, I mean, it's, it's just two different ways of, of thinking about what your goals are in life. Yeah. It's just like, you know. I like your life better. I vote, I vote for Kyle's life. He was a hella funny dude. Allegedly.

Like he was allegedly funny. He just did his, his act hella clean, you know. Can he text Adam Sandler right now? Exactly. He said the funniest thing to me. He also had a great joke that was just hilarious. When we went to Mexico and we were Port of Ayarta and we went in, and we were all swimming and then we were wearing swim shorts.

And you know how swim shorts have the net in it and stuff. Sure. We went into the bathroom and I was standing in one urinal and he came in and stared at the next urinal. And he was just like, he's just mumbling to himself. And he's like, where did I put this? Yes. Yes.

That's pretty good. Grandpa bit for the wind. And I was like, oh man. And that's funny cause like swim cocks are in your family. Yeah. Oh. All right. It was great.

I get it now. Let me know what path I should be running on for the next 10 years. Embrace the small dinks. If you got it, make fun of it. Make fun of it. You know. Yeah. Yeah.

Embrace the mold. Yeah. Embrace it. Yeah. It's all good. That's a good one. It's all good. Yeah.

It was hilarious. Cause I mean, nobody made small cock jokes at that point. Everybody was like, oh, my dick's so big. My dick's so big. Everybody. Yeah. It was all big Johnson jokes. Everybody was wearing the t-shirts of the door

with the huge dick, big Johnson. Yeah. And I was like, grandpa, that's it. You're like, that's it. And that's when you decided to get into comedy. You were like, wait a minute. Small cock comedy. Small cock comedy, grandpa.

I could make a career out of this grandpa. And he goes, I bless you, my son. And then father son, holy spirit, did you. And then screamed, let's go. Let's go. I don't like caged birds. I don't think that feels right. Yeah.

I mean, I have one. I have one. This is why it's hitting you a little hard. What if it's a chicken? If it's a chicken in the coop, we can roll with that. Well, chicken, at least you're like, they cock-a-doodle-do you in the morning. No, that's a rooster.

Oh, OK. Well, then, yeah, fuck chickens. I like roosters. But chickens are delicious. They make eggs. Yeah, well, they're spitting out some eggs, so you at least get to use something. Eggs don't come out of their mouths.

I know. They're spitting them out of their butts, right? You think he's like a Yoshi situation? Wait, that is a good question. Do eggs come out of chickens ass, or is there like another butthole? No. An egg is a period, just so you know.

OK, but girls don't have periods out of their butthole. Wait, do they? How often do they, is it only once a month, or how often do? They give an egg every day. So they have a period every day. Yeah, well, it's like a non-active period. It's in an egg. OK, well, yeah.

Hey, and feel free to text us the truth about this shit that we don't know about. No, no, I'm pretty positive that an egg is a period that is not being fertilized. That's tight. You sound like one of those astronauts that gave the female astronauts 50,000 tampons, who's like, is this enough?

Are we good? Good luck. This might be enough. But Kyle, you didn't answer my question, dude, they have two buttholes. Do they have an egg butthole and a? I don't know how many holes they have. Sorry, I don't know that.

Vagina. It's a vagina. Oh, the egg is coming out of their vagina, dude. Yeah, that's the period. Ah, they're not shitting out eggs. Where is a vagina located on a chicken? Bend over, I'll show you. Did I do that?

What do you mean where is it located? It's basically in the same spot as you probably think it is. Kind of the same spot that you would think. Yeah, if you maybe drop some acid to get in there, super vibrant buttholes looking at you, and then some. I don't know. There has to be animals that have dicks and vaginas in really weird spots, right?

Oh, for sure. You mean like Star Trek, where he kicks the dude in the knee and it turned out to be his nuts? That's like when you kick Adam with his lap hog. I don't remember that, but I like that. That was a classic. What was that? That was the famous Star Trek movie, what's it called?

Rathakon, where he's like fighting the giant dude and he kicks him in the knee and he goes down hard and he's like, what the fuck? He's like, that's where his testicles are. I love that. It's off the chain. Did we write through Star Trek? What happened?

I think we should. Yeah. I want to go check out some Star Trek now. That just got me in. Heroes and icons. That was one of my favorite bits on set when we would like, hey, have a good scene and then we tap each other on the knee and then that person goes, ah, the middle of my dick, ah.

You just hit the middle of my dick. Just got the middle of my dick. Because the end of it's way down there. Bully. I had fun on that show too. Yeah, that show was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed that show, guys. That was a long time ago.

You know we're done shooting the show? I don't know. Let's talk about something with Khloé. And I was like, yeah, like two years ago when we started. And she was like, it's more than two years ago. And I'm like, yeah, how long has it been? It's been four years now. Four years since we've been done with the show.

What was it like August of 2016 or something? Something like that or October, November? At the end of. Yeah, it was like October or November. Yeah, maybe the beginning of November. It was harvest season because y'all were smoking my weed on the roof. Real weed. Yeah, hello.

It was harvest, baby. I don't want to talk about it. That shit was so sick. You guys fucking smoked my first crop of weed on the roof in the last shot. I was mad high for that last scene of workaholics. Oh yeah, that was hilarious. No, I was higher. I was higher.

Isn't that? And I cried. Could we get my Chaya? Was that, did you say that? Is that in the show where like, this is real weed? No, this is real weed. Something like that. The credits.

That was Blake saying that. Blake was going, and this is real weed. And I'm like, I know. We're in character. Yeah, we're acting. And he's like, it's real weed. I'm like, I know. Obviously it's real weed.

We're the characters. Rolling. Huge crane shots. So good. So good. Perfect ending, dude. Yeah, for sure it's real. Like how it always has been for every scene of the show.

Oh man, this is real. What? So I'm glad we did that. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it.

What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, DC. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen.

I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can, sign Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.