This Is Important - The Pleasure Is Ours: Does "Slow and Steady Win the Race?"

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

It's the season finale of The Pleasure Is Ours -- the This Is Important-hosted BONUS podcast all about blowing up stupid pieces of advice!IN THIS EPISODE: If William Shatner -- cast as Star Trek's Captain Kirk at age 35 -- blasting off into orbit at 90 years old as the oldest man in space isn't proof that "slow and steady wins the race"... then what is?! When it comes to physical fitness, self-described "jackhammer" Adam says that vigorous lifting is the best way to get in shape, while Blake argues that leisurely "marathon-ish" runs are more effective. But jackhammering your way into a potential partner's love life? That's a surefire way to destroy a relationship.Slow and steady? Fast and chaotic? How much red meat does William Shatner eat?? All questions are answered in this season's final episode of The Pleasure Is Ours. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Pleasure Is Ours is brought to you by Trojan, America's number one condom brand. Feel your best, get yours on. What's the show called? The Pleasure Is Ours.

I think I know how we're kicking it off. You already know. The Pleasure. The Pleasure Is Ours. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, but mostly ladies and fully grown adults, welcome to The Pleasure Is Ours. Oh my god. Brought to you by WhatBlake, who's our sponsor? Trojan, my man. Trojan condoms. America's number one selling condom.

Absolutely. Number one condom brand. You better believe it. Trusted for over 100 years. Get it right. Guys, what a ride it's been. The Pleasure has been ours, and I hope it's been all the listeners as well. This has been a hot, steamy little pod. I wonder how many people... Jerk off to the podcast. Yeah, masturbate. You knew where I was going, but masturbated to the podcast. Because admittedly, this is important. Obviously, we're very cool and sexy there, but we've been very sexy, very sexual.

I love the idea of the person who's masturbated to the show right now, mid-stroke, just going, just talking to me. Or do they go like double time? Oh yeah. Are they like, I'm talking to you, Derek. This is my moment. How crazy would it be if his name was Derek? He's mid-stroke. He stops. He's like, he throws his headphones across the room. Shout out to Derek, man.

Stroke down Derek. We're fans. Quick question. You ever beat off and do a condom? Oh, like practice? Yeah. I think before I had sex in a condom, I was like, I got to put one of these things on. Yeah, you got to give it a go. See if you can strap it on. And then now that it was on, I was like, well, now that it's out.

Now I don't want to live without it. Can't waste it. I want it on all the time. And then I took it off and then I started blowing air into it to kind of inflate it. Just to see if there's any kind of holes or leaks and guess what, Trojan never was. That's because it's been tested and is trusted for over 100 years, buddy. You're not going to find any holes in those condoms, baby. No, no.

Well, that being said, like, don't just keep it in your, you know, don't just keep it in your wallet for like 100 years. You know, respect the latex. The born on date on there. You have to respect it. Absolutely. But that being said, it's not coming out of the factor with any holes. If there's a hole, that's your doing.

And you know what, they've taken their time for 100 years, and which is a beautiful segue to our topic of the day. Oh, sure. The saying is slow and steady wins the race. You don't just jump into the condom game and take over with your lack of experience. There's no trust there. Yeah, exactly. Why am I putting you on my deck?

Slow and steady. That's a pretty good. I feel for the most part that does win the race, like just being consistent, consistently doing the right things over and over. Uh, that'll, that'll breed success. Absolutely. There are a few X factors to this. What is the race?

Is it a sprint? Because if it's a sprint and you're trying to slow and steady it, I don't know if you're going to win the race. That might not win the race. Yeah, but if your mind, if your mind is slow and steady, like I'm sure you same bowl, like when he's in that sprint and he's coming out of the gate and every stride, I guarantee you in his mind, everything is slowed down.

Okay. Straight matrix. Did you see that video? I'm sure you guys have. It was like of the, the sprinter. I don't, I don't know my sprinter, so I don't know the guy's name. But, uh, it was like locked off just on his. Carson Warholm.

Is this right? Yes, that's it. I mean, I don't know. Go ahead. If anyone were to know, it's probably there's, but it's just like locked off on this guy's and he's a hurdler and it's just like locked on his eyes. Yeah. And you could just tell it like he's, his face is not doing anything.

He's not like grimacing or smile. Like you should, when I run, it looks. It's ugly. So painful. Yeah, yeah. Like a lot is happening in my brain. It's just like, come on, buddy, you could do this. And then also ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Yeah, yeah. It's a painful experience. But I feel for, for that track star, slow and steady for him is lightning fast. He's a runner. He's a track star. Yeah. Absolutely. Because I mean, if you were really thinking about it, it's like kind of fast and steady

would win the race, right? That's what the saying should be. Because if you can. Fast and steady. Yeah. If you can be fast and steady at the same time, you're going to win every race you enter. Well, let's say, let's say it's just if, if it's, if it's working out. Okay.

Okay. Throwing some weights around, getting your pump on. Slow and steady. You're saying exercising? Exercising. Like physically working out. Like your, your exercise. Sure.

Slow and steady. To me, that just means you're doing it every day. You're, you're steady with it. You're not just going big on one day and then falling down the mountaintop for the other six days. Sure. You know, you're not working out nine hours a day, one day, and then not at all the rest of the week. You're not going to show up on the first day and do like a crazy max deadlift. You're going to want to get in there.

You're going to warm up a little bit. If the other guy gets in there and does it for, he's going to throw his damn back out. Exactly. You'll be the last man standing. That's what it's all about. You want to start that first day, kind of remind your back, hey, we're going to be using you. You're going to be put to work now.

Then a couple of days later, you put on a little more weight and then that Friday, give it hell. Slow and steady. Look at you go. God damn. Crank it up. I want to be in your little workout regiment. Come on.

Come on over. Well, I worked out with Blake the other day. The guy couldn't walk because I was too, I don't know, aggressive. Maybe I wasn't slow and steady enough. I know. Well, you know, I'm more of a runner. So like this saying applies to me. You're more of like, you lift with your legs.

I like to use them and apply them and run laps and go long marathon-ish runs. You go on marathon-ish runs. It's not quite a marathon. It's marathon-ish. I like to utilize my legs muscles for movements that propel forward-ish. I mean, I also ride a bike like 15 to 20 miles a damn near every day. So it's not like I don't use my, you know what? Fuck you, Blake.

Yeah, you guys are going at it. I didn't start it, dude. This guy came out saying he was fucking dusting me. I'm just saying if I would start that regiment, I'm going to get there with you, brother, but you do inspire me, brother. I believe, I absolutely believe that you would. And admittedly, whenever you do someone else's workout, they're obviously going to be a little better,

because they've been slow and steady with the race. But if we're talking sexually made- Yeah, let's talk about the- The pleasure, the ups, the pleasure. Pleasure is ours. If we're talking about the pleasure, slow and steady sometimes doesn't win the race. This is coming from the human Jack Hammer.

From Adam Devine, the human Jack Hammer. Adam, the Jack Hammer, Devine. Yeah, this dude, this captain blaze hard over here. This guy really goes at it. Well, I've been told like, sometimes it's just you're going too long. Oh, wow. I've been told repeatedly. Go off.

You're going too long. The word's too long, if never been said to me. That is not in my dictionary, a bedroom dictionary. I don't really have an issue with premature E-Jack. That's not my main issue. Sometimes I go too long and she's like, you know, wrap it the fuck up, buddy. Yeah, stop.

So for her, so then it's like, slow and steady, that's not winning the race. Yeah. She wants more of a dead sprint and then we get there. Right, right, right. Yeah, I feel like this is more advice for like a rookie, because sometimes you come out and you think you just need to- But yeah, there's an art to it.

It's a dance. It's a real dance. It's a tango. So a dancing tango wins the race? Maybe. That could be a little two-step, a little one tango. The Macarena wins the race, baby. That's pretty good.

This is for the noobs. This isn't for the sage old vets that we are. Yeah, well, I mean, I feel like the longer you're in the game, the longer you're throwing your hat in the race, it's like, yeah, you realize you need to pace yourself. It's a young man's thing to come out and just be like, I got to just sprint to get to the end, but it's a marathon, baby. Also, enjoy yourself.

But like I said, if we're talking sexually. Yes. I always am, by the way. I know you are. You won't shut up about, I mean, I worked out with you like a week ago. I get it. It's all sex. Hey, Blake, how loud is Adam in the gym?

He grunts. He grunts. He's way louder when he fucks. And I was his roommate and I lived a wall away. So yeah, I know. But Adam, weren't you just bench pressing women in your room? Yeah, well, it's just a workout in there. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities.

Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The pleasure is ours.

The pleasure is ours is brought to you by Trojan America's number one condom brand. And today we are talking about the one and only delay spray. Such an amazing product. What is it? Thank you for asking, Anders. Thank you for asking. It's an innovative new product from Trojan that helps you last longer and keep the pleasure coming.

I got it. I got it. Okay. But wait, but what does it do? It prolongs the pleasure and prevents premature jack. Oh, thank god. And it can be used at what's cool about it. You hose your ding dong down and then you can strap on a Trojan condom,

which is triple tested and trusted for over 100 years. Oh, that's huge. That's a long time. That's a long time. So you use the spray with the condom so you're having safe sex, you're lasting a long time. Everybody's having fun. My gosh.

So it's super safe, but then also you're not, you're not a chump. You're not just- Yeah, you're not a two-pump chump. You're not a two-pump chump. You're a pleasure machine. You're a pleasure machine. Thank you. Yes, exactly.

A pleasure machine. Yeah, say it again, because that's true. Say it one more time. Pleasure machine. Exactly. Third time's the charm. Or maybe they just read about Sting who was having tantric sex for hours. Oh yeah.

Yeah. He's a legend in that future. Well, I mean, so I think that this must be his secret, right? Yeah. Yeah, because he must be using the delay spray. He was using some sort of essence of something from like a mountain spring or something like that. They put that in here, maybe, I don't know, but like there's got to be the good stuff in here, right guys? There has to be.

Well, he's like, you know, he probably like, you know, it's Sting. He's like, he's like, oh yeah, it's probably it's mountain. I don't know if this is what he sounds like, but he's like, it's mountain spray. It helps me last longer. But really, he's just sneaking off in the bathroom, doing a little squirt squirt with some delay spray more than likely. Allegedly, allegedly he's doing stuff like this. We don't know, but we're assuming.

I spray it around the house. It gets everybody in the mood. They know that something's about to happen. Everybody knows. It gets everybody. It gets everybody in the mood. Yeah, the dog. Yeah.

You've been warned. It's going down. The dog gets under the couch. Uh-oh. It's about to go down. Yeah. For a very long time. Yeah.

Delay spray. The pleasure is ours. Well, so guys, we kind of jumped right into sex as far as the slow and steady wins the race. But what about when you are, when you're courting a woman or a man, when you're courting a courting process, how do you, how do you play it? It's a delicate balance. Too slow and too steady. That won't win the race.

Then you're going to be friend-zoned and, and you won't, you know, you're not going to end up dating this person that you, that you really like. I mean, you like them as a friend, but it seems like you like them as more. And she's not going to reciprocate that if you, if you have stayed in the friend zone for too long. Yeah. Because the whole thing is, is like when you are kind of vibing with the person, you want to play it cool because if you come out too hot, like out the gate, then you're going to come off a little desperate.

And then they're like, what's up with this person? Is this a clingy person? Is this person doesn't have a life of their own? So yeah, it really is a, a delicate balance, isn't it? Isn't it? Yeah. Slow and low. That is the tempo.

And you want to play a little cool, you know? And also slow and steady does win a race. If you are, you're playing it a little cool, right? Because you don't want to come out and just be like, I love you. Oh, I love you. Have my children. But have you ever tried that? I have.

With thought of doubt. It didn't work, it didn't work. No, absolutely. Hey, can I buy you a drink? I love you and want to have your children. So the best I could do is get you a scotch on the rocks. But it's kind of also about like not panicking because there are times when like, there's maybe a lady or a guy you're interested in that they're just not ready to be in that

relationship, you know what I mean? And so if you hang around eventually that and you stay in, you know, texting, checking in on them or whatever, maybe eventually it will turn that corner and you will enter a relationship. We're not. Yeah. I don't know if you're like an altar tour and you're like burning candles. Like I must have her like maybe move on.

Well, yeah, definitely don't be a psychopath. But hey, if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. Sometimes fate needs to step in as well. That's true, Blake. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen. I think maybe that's what it should be. Not slow and steady wins the race. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen.

Yeah, but you have to shoot your shot, man. Like slow and steady does, that can be a good theory. But you have to shoot your shot. You can't just be there in the cut watching all these other guys make moves. Okay. So here's the thing though, because it's put in this perspective of a race. So if you put it in a race, are we talking about the day you die? Because if you're slow and steady with this person who you want to have a relationship

and you finally get her on your deathbed, did you win the race? Like, oh yeah, man. You lost the race. If you got Trojan Kahnem in your pocket, you won the race. That's beautiful, man. That's just really beautiful to me. It's beautiful. But to bring it back to sexually.

Oh, bring it back, baby. Slow and steady, like I said earlier, sometimes doesn't win the race. Sometimes you got, it has to be a little more, just say jackhammer. Just say jackhammer. Sometimes you got a jackhammer away. You need to be like the slipknot drummer. Two bass pedals fucking going out. Sometimes you got to blast off to the moon.

And I think that that maybe is a better phrase. Slow and steady does win the race sometimes. We're talking about as guys right now. Yeah, we're talking about guys. Yeah, we really need a female perspective for this. I don't know if we can speak for women, but like, should women go slow and steady? Does that win their race or should they jackhammer?

Or do they want to blast? I feel like a lot of women would like to be blasted off to the moon. I know, but that's such a guided thing to say. Like, truly has any girl brought you aside and been like, hey, man, could you just blast me a little harder next? Be honest. Has anyone ever said that? Be honest.

Has anyone ever said harder? Yeah. What do you mean? No, I'm just saying. I mean, they're not saying cool terminology, like blast off to the moon. They're not saying like dope ass shit like that. But they're not all, you know, they're not comedians.

I'm not having sex with a lot of female comics saying really funny stuff. I just feel like, yeah, if we're like tying this little saying into the bedroom, this is a two person conversation. Like it's all about communication. So communication wins the race. Like if you're trying to get to that finish line, if you're trying to get to that finish line,

like we need to talk about what makes you get there. Communication wins the race if you're trying to blast off to the moon. Just have a good pit crew, baby. So that pit crew that has nothing to do with. It's a race. It's blasting off. What are you talking about?

That's a drill. He's drilling them homie. Well, I was trying to say blasting off to the moon, that you would need, that's not, you're not taking a wheel off of if you're blasting. Okay. Right, true. Okay, well.

So you want to take it to the space race? You want to talk about the space race? Obviously we're in the space race. We're trying to send your partner to the moon. They use drills on those things though. I guess they would use drills, right? They have drills for sure. Yeah.

Sure. Okay. Yeah. So Blake, I take it back. That was the right noise to use. You know, like that's how they close the hatch, right? I would hope so. Yeah.

You got to bolt it shut. Yeah. Or else the door might fly off and we lost Shatner. Fuck. Did he go yet? To space? No, I think, I don't know. I actually don't know.

I thought he did because he was like in the, I don't know. You know what? I don't care. Well, the photo I saw of him, our managers in the chat saying yes, he did. He did go because I saw a photo of him. I'm like, he's looking really red. He's looked red for a while.

Shatner? Like Shatner is looking like he's about to pop. You know how old he is though? I was like, maybe he's blasted off to the moon already. Do you know how old he is? If I had to guess, 6, 76. 69. He's like, I think he's almost 90.

Oh my God. Yeah, what? Yeah, what? I think so. You can't go to space when you're 90. Well, he did and he blasted off to the moon. And so guess what? Slow and steady didn't win that race.

Blasting off to the moon did. He's 90. He's 90. Oh my God. Well, good for him. He's looking great for 90. He looks amazing. Well, if you told me that he just eats steak five times a day

and he's 58 years old, I would be like, yeah, that's what you would look like. If I told you what? That Shatner ate steak five times a day. He's just a true carnivore. And that's what he looked like. I'd be like, yeah, he's a guy that is not taking care of him. But for 90, he's looking fantastic.

Okay, okay. But look at it this way. To bring it back to slow and steady wins the race. This is a dude who was in Star Trek, right? Like he's playing around in space. Like I'm amongst the stars. He turned 90 years old and he finally actually left Earth and went into space.

He did it for the long run. You're going to skip past like TJ Hooker and didn't he get like Emmy, like as a lawyer? I know, but I'm just saying this dude was, he's all in on Star Trek, right? Like he's all in, dude. Like William Shatner claims it hard. So to finally get to go to space, like, is pretty.

That is the definition of slow and steady winning the race. But in order to do that. Five steaks a day. In order to do that because you had to blast off to the moon. Right. It's five steaks a day wins the race and then you can blast off. All right. Hey, Anders, I want you to respect William Shatner.

That was rude, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, what's crazy is Trojan condoms is only 10 years older than William Shatner. Damn, dude. That is crazy. Do you think he was on the, no, because he would have been 10. Did I save it?

Did I save it? That was. Dang, I wonder if he was in the testing squad. Do you think that they've been testing them for a hundred years? Do you think that the product had come out? How long do you think they, well, I'm sure they tested it as much as they needed to before the product hit the shelves. Well, I feel like because they want to test it on young viral men.

Viral? Viral. With viruses? No, no, no, no, no, for sure. They probably are testing it on infected people and seeing the transfer. On viral and viral men, some, some young sexual goards. So probably, I wonder if William Shatner, I mean, he's been in Hollywood a very long time. Maybe he was on that first wave of, of, hey, let's give these guys some condoms.

Let's see if latex on wieners is a good move. And maybe if possible, that Billy Shatner was in that first batch. Dude, live long and prosper, dude. He got it. Let's give this, let's give some flowers to Billy Shatner, a man who I thought was a guy who's about to die of a heart attack at 58 years old. Turns out he's 90 years old and he's making me realize that my slow and steady winning the race of eating steak almost every day of my life might be, might be a great way to live

because I could, I could end up being 90 and going to outer space. Absolutely, dude. Keeping those stakes and you're going to, you're going to make it to the finish line. And I might blast off to the moon. So slow and steady wins the race. If you're new to the race, if you're new to the game, that's a good way to go about it at first. But then as you become a veteran of whatever game that this race is, it's time for you to blast off to the moon.

You're obsessed with race. When you're hitting it, when you're about to retire, when the game you're about to retire from, it's, it's coming. And you see it, you got to be like, yo, it's time to blast beat this thing and blast off to the moon. So you're saying at your retirement of the race, after years of being slow and steady, put it all in and die on the field, die on the track and blast off to the moon. Yeah.

Well, hey guys, the pleasure was mine. What a season. This was the last, this was the very last episode of this season of the pleasure is ours. And I would like to say that it was guys, the pleasure was ours. I had a great time doing this podcast with you. Zoom handshake to my very good friend. Zoom handshake. And thank you all for listening.

And please tune in to our other podcast. This is important, but for now, the pleasure was ours. This episode was brought to you by Trojan, America's number one kind of brand. You can get any of Trojan's products that were featured in this episode, like Bear Skin Raw, Ultra Fit, Ultra Thin and Delay Spray online or at any major retailer. Do your best, get yours on. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart.

I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.