This Is Important - The Pleasure Is Ours: "Good Things Come in Small Packages"

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

It's Ep. 6 of The Pleasure Is Ours -- the This Is Important-hosted BONUS podcast all about blowing up stupid pieces of advice!IN THIS EPISODE: Do "Good Things Come in Small Packages" -- or is that just some shit we say to justify a movie like Rudy? Sure, he inspired an entire graduating class to chant his name and convince Coach Devine to let him on the football field -- but Notre Dame didn't actually need that sack, did they? Similarly, that bow-wrapped envelope under the Christmas tree could contain a crisp hundo if you grew up driving a Corvette to high school -- but if you grew up poor like Blake did, it's probably just gum.This week on The Pleasure Is Ours, the guys get academic with a thought-provoking discussion on classical renaissance sculpture. And by that, we mean they talk about how small David's dick is. Like, did Michaelangelo not give him enough time to chub up before sculpting began -- or had David just come in from a freezing bout of ancient Greek CrossFit?? Either way, self-identifying "small packaged" Adam Devine says, "go off, king." Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Pleasure Is Ours is brought to you by Trojan, America's number one condom brand. Feel your best, get yours on. What's the show called? The Pleasure Is Ours.

I think I know how we're kicking it off. You already know. The Pleasure. The Pleasure Is Ours. The Pleasure Is Ours. It's ours. It's our pleasure. Our pirates are fucking on this one. Our pleasure. The Pleasure Is Ours. Good things. I like this phrase, the good things come in small packages. This is one that I could get on. Is that the phrase this week? What is it? That's the phrase. This is what we're going to analize, slice, and dice. Dissect. Good things come in. Now, is that C-U-M? No, it's C-O-M-E.

Okay, good things. It could be come in small packages. Admittedly, I don't do a lot. I'm not a big jizzer. I'll admit that. I'm not a big jizzer. So, good things come out of small packages. Maybe one more time, just all strung together, as it says. Good things come in small packages. I said that at the very beginning. Good things come in small packages. I like this one. I'm a tiny, I'm a compact guy. I'm a little ball of energy. I feel like good things come in small packages. I should get this tattoo. If I was a girl that gets like inspirational tattoos tattooed on herself or a guy, but usually girls do shit like that, I feel like I would get this on cursive on my lower back. Curse if you would. Yeah, I get this tattooed maybe on the nape of my neck.

The whole thing or would you just get good thing? Right. Oh, yeah. Then I'd really have to spell it out for people when they're like, what the fuck is that? I thought I figured they would be able to spell it out because you are like a- You have good thing on the back of your neck and then come in small packages on your inner thighs. If you had a giant back tattoo that just said small package, I'd be pretty pumped on that. Right, yeah. You're just doing like pull-ups at the Adventist Muscle Beach. Yeah, they call me the small package. But I just, that's all I do is pull-ups. So I just have just this massive back. Right. So Adam, you're kind of like living proof that this is indeed a true saying. Is that what you're telling us? Well, I mean, not, well,

obviously this isn't a blanket statement, but I feel for me personally, and I like this phrase, it works for me. Good things come in small packages. I'm a little guy. I watch that under the giant documentary, big man. Right. Big man. Yeah. Seem pretty great. And like- I died like super young because he was so giant. That's true. His heart exploded. Oh, so everyone who dies young, that's not okay with you? That's a bad thing? No, I would like for them to live longer. Yeah. I bet you would. I bet you would. But and if I am ever quoted for anything, I want to be quoted as saying Andre the Giant is a good thing. A good thing? He's a thing. So he's a thing to you. Oh, he's a freak to you. He's a good thing.

But he came in a large package. That's my point, Kyle. I guess that brings me to the question, does this imply that things that come in large packages are good? That's what I'm getting to, and it's a slippery slope. This isn't- We're not saying that good things come in small packages. It doesn't mean that if you're- it's your big thing and it comes in a big package, it's a shitty thing. You're pure evil? No, I think it implies that bigger things are better. Smaller things have to be proven good. This saying comes from people basically trying to boost confidence. No, where like someone gets a small thing and they're like, hey, good things come in small packages or like someone feels like overpowered. They're like, don't worry, buddy,

good things come in small packages is like Rudy, okay? The ultimate small thing and a good thing in a small package. Correct. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. Sean Aston. My hero. Related to Adam in ways we don't know. I mean, if he doesn't play my older brother in something, could he play my dad? Is he old enough? Probably not. I think this is a little bit of an ego booster for some people. I like hearing this saying along with the saying like, it's not about the size, it's the way you use it, the motion of the ocean, not the size of the boat. You like hearing that? How often do you hear that? Yeah, because this is like, I feel like there's things that- It's nice to hear.

Do you hear that often? Women have had to do over the years to pad our egos because as men, we get very- And Blake, we're talking specifically, how often do you hear that? He's talking about wieners right now. Because I know you don't go boating that often. Sure, sure. It's an analogy. I was talking about my boat, okay. It's just you like to hear some positive reinforcement every now and then. Some of us don't have the longest ropes. Right. Well, if you go into wieners, I mean, think about all the statues with the good things and small packages on those guys. Tiny little peckers. Oh, dude, what was going on in ancient Greece? No one had a huge cock back

then. It was crazy. Yeah, I feel like out of all the statues, none of them is really hanging. Everyone was just ripped up. Everyone was just shredded. Yeah. Well, they all had workout, Dick. You know how when like you- That's probably what it is. They had just done a bunch of push-ups and then got up to flex. They just got done doing it in an ancient crossfitty. Right. Where they're sprinting up the steps of the forum. Yeah, this is Trojan times. And yeah, Trojan times. And they're all just shredded. They're ripped up. And so all the blood is rushed out of their cock. And that's probably,

it was probably Socrates, who was like, good things come in small packages. Wait, I should etch that in stone. Do you think David, the statue guy, do you think he was stoked? Was he like, hey, could you just let me chub up real quick? And he's like, no, mate, do you look great? Well, my guess is that you had to stand there a long time. You know how long it takes for them to etch those? It takes like, yeah, I want to say like a year. I believe you know, like a year or so. I imagine somebody sketched out the thing for him and then he worked off the sketches. No, no, those pre sketches, dude. There were no pencils. There was no pens. Oh yeah. There must have been some kind of point of pride to the

small pecker back then that we will never understand as humans on this earth. Right, right, right. There had to have been. Otherwise, these fucking people would not have let that happen. Like that if they're, if they were like, no, we have to have a big old dick and then all of them have little dicks. No fucking way. That wouldn't have been, that would not be in our museums. It's our society that has made you feel that way because good things do indeed come in small packages. Back then they didn't judge people like that. They're like, oh yeah, David's got this little wanger, but my boy can sling it like nobody's business. Right. Maybe he was a grower. We don't know that. We don't know. And then there's that. Our Greek, our Greek guy is known to grow. I don't

know. There's no way to know. What was his thing? What was David's thing? I heard he could break it from the back. That's just what I heard. He would hit the skins really hard. Yeah. Oh, he was like a porn star? Yeah. He could get, I heard he could get from the back. He could really get it. He would really. Only from the back. Yeah. He would really clap. Because there's too much pressure when you're like eye to eye, I think for him. Well, he was, wasn't David the great thinker? Wasn't that his? Yeah, he's thinking about something. That's a different guy. You talking about Dobie Gillis now? He's thinking about something. Clap my cheeks. Yeah. Is David the thinker with the little dick? No. David is the jack dude who's just staying like this and he's got the little

dick. They all have little dicks, by the way. No one has a big dick. No one has a big dick. They're like, I think that's little. I feel like we got to get to the bottom of this shit, bro. Like, what's up with that? There's a fucking, there has been a sea change when it comes to the interpretation of size of cocks. We're talking about Greek statues. If you go around the world to different places, the dicks are popping. Are they? Where? Where? I've never seen a statue with a big dick. What a huge dung. I would love to. I would love to. Go to travel to West Africa. There's plenty of statues there where the dicks are good, good, good, good, gargantua. Really? In West Africa, are there, do they have statues with giant cocks? Yes. I don't know. I'm asking. Yes. For

real? Yeah. That's awesome. I got to, I got to make a trip. Thank you, Ders, for that perspective. For sure. This is what I have. I feel like also outside of the staple center, there is a statue shack and you can see up his shorts and gargantua. Yeah, it is true. If you do spend enough time looking. I guess I never looked up his shorts. You got to take some time and Blake's done that. That detail is there. That detail is there. That's incredible. That's incredible. Hey, man, you got to really look at it for a while. Yeah, you do. Really? How long do you have to look at it for? Hey, man, just go out there. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent

my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The pleasure is ours.

The pleasure is ours is brought to you by Trojan America's number one condom brand. And today, we are talking about the one and only delay spray. Oh, such an amazing product. What is it? Thank you for asking, Anders. Thank you for asking. It's an innovative new product from Trojan that helps you last longer and keep the pleasure coming. Oh, I got it. I got it. Okay. But wait, but what does it do? It prolongs the pleasure and prevents premature jack. Oh, thank God. And it can be used at what's cool about it. You hose your ding dong down and then you can strap on a Trojan condom, which is triple tested and trusted for over 100 years. Oh, that's huge. So you use the spray with the condom. So you're having safe sex. You're lasting a long time. Everybody's having

fun. My gosh. So it's super safe. But then also you're not, you're not a chump. You're not just Yeah, you're not a two pump chump. You're not a two pump chump. You're a pleasure machine. You're a pleasure machine thing. Yes, exactly. A pleasure machine. Yes. Say it again, because that's true. Say it one more time. Pleasure machine. Exactly. Third time's the charm. Or maybe they just read about Sting, who was having tantric sex for hours. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's a legend in that field. Well, I mean, so I think that this must be his secret, right? Yeah. This has to be his secret. He must be using the delay spray. He was using some sort of essence of something from like a mountain spring or something like that. And they put that in here. Maybe I don't know,

but like, there's got to be the good stuff in here, right, guys? There has to be. Well, he's like, you know, he probably like, you know, it's staying. He's like, he's like, oh, yeah, it's probably it's mountain. I don't know if this is what he sounds like, but he's like, it's mountain spray. It helps me last longer. But really, he's just sneaking off in the bathroom, doing a little squirt squirt with some delay spray more than likely, allegedly, allegedly, he's doing stuff like this. We don't know, but we're assuming I spray it around the house. It gets everybody in the mood. They know that something's about to happen. Everybody knows about the dog. Yeah, you've been warned. It's going down. The dog gets under the couch. Uh-oh. It's about to go down.

Yeah, it's going to be a while. The delay spray. The pleasure is ours. So like, yeah, what about, okay, so good things come in some packages, small packages, but there's also bad shit that can come in small packages. Like what? What are you thinking about? Anthrax in a letter. Thank you. That is a small package. And that can, that's not a good thing. Remember that? That shit was freaky, dude. Yeah, I feel like remember that. What do you mean? Remember that? You don't remember when anthrax was being sent and like nobody knew where the fuck it was coming from and anybody was a target. They had no clue. You would just open up cards and anthrax would be in it. I feel like it just went to like, it went to like 30 rock or NBC and then

they were like one place. It wasn't just mailed to your aunt or some shit. It could have been any of us though. You guys are crazy, man. Everybody was a target. It doesn't bother me. I feel like I'd be fine. Yeah, no. I mean, obviously a lot of shitty things could come in small packages. I mean, divorce papers. That's just like a letter. When you're served, it's just some guy being like, hey, what's up? Are you Kyle Neuchok? And you're like, oh, hey, man, what's, hey, what's going on? He's like, you've been served, motherfucker. Right. Oh, I love that movie though. And that's a small package, but that DVD would rock. Fuck yeah. That's a good thing. But you got served. Yeah. Who is that? What was you got served? Was that? Yeah, I'm true. That was like a dance movie?

Yeah, I think like B2K was in it or something. Is that this one where she's like clapping? And he's like, that's Julia style. That's Save the Last Dance. That's an amazing dance. Guys, if I could just take a moment, I'm so sorry. I would like to apologize to the community for Derrick's not knowing the difference between you guys served and Save the Last Dance. Yeah. What about like razor blades and shit? Like if you go looking box full of razor blades and you that would suck. Yeah. So, okay, that's Halloween was just a few weeks ago. What if you're, you know, you're going to, you know, you're a trick or treating, you're a kid and then you go and they just give you one box of nerds or just one tootsie roll and you're like, well, this isn't a

good thing. The house right next door gave me two handfuls. You don't like nerds? Not one tiny box. Give me a handful of boxes, man. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just grateful. I'm really thankful. Well, the next door neighbor just gave, just gave like 12 boxes. I'm saying fuck that neighbor. Yeah, but you're comparing this. If you compare any package to another package that was better, it's going to be worse. And speaking of which, everybody go to Netflix and watch the package. You're a hilarious comedy film. I think you're going to really love it. Oh yeah, we produced the package. Very, very funny, very funny movie. Good things come in small packages. It's not, it's not a woke phrase, right? Because

tell me more. Because exactly what Kyle said, oh, well then do, do big things or those, are they bad? Right? Yes, it's exclusionary. Yes, it's a little exclusionary. People might jump to conclusions. Which sucks. It sucks that we live in a time that you can't just say a thing and you're talking about a specific thing and then every other thing, it doesn't make sense. Thank you. Thanks for mansplaining that. That's like the philosophy for the last five years, bro. You're like, just give me that clip of you doing that. It doesn't make sense. Well, so what are we saying? Like great things come in all packages? Yeah, it should be great things come in packages. Be great. Yeah, that's the everything. But then

it's like, what about the things that come outside of a package? Great things come. Yeah, great things come. How about, hey, hey, did you receive a package? Good. Good or great or shitty or awesome, doesn't matter. You got a package? They come. Nice. You guys, we're putting this into such a human form. What if it is simple as fuck aliens? Oh, here comes cosmic blazer. When you're getting gifts, you always are like the kid is always like the biggest package has the bike or the biggest package has the big Barbie dream house. But really, the best gift is the ring in the little box, because that thing is worth a milli a milli. You know what I mean? The ring. What kind of rings did you get as a child? I'm just saying like that would be a small package that is very valuable,

it doesn't have to be the biggest package under the tree or whatever. Do you think like Zales coined this phrase or like Kay, it's like every kiss begins with Kay. You know what? I would almost bet money that this is a this is a marketing theme that has so maybe it wasn't Socrates unless Socrates had a jewelry business on the side that we might have. That was a side hustle. I mean that guy was he was a Renaissance man. Right, bro. I remember I remember getting like fucking when you would see a card under the tree for Christmas, you would know that's small, but you know that there's some cash in there. It was always just $5. It was $5 for my aunt. And that's it. Yeah, my grandma gave me old gum. No, sometimes I get a crisp hundo. What do you mean $100? All right,

rich ass. Wow, my fucking grandpa would always throw a hundo in there like that's fucking huge for that huge. No, it was fucking great. My grandma would give me a dollar for however old I was. So it was never any money. It'd be like I had $6 when I was six. I'm like, and you threw it right back at her. Kyle would get $100 for each year. So he would get $100, $200, $300. I got like a $50 savings bond, but you just go great. No, you never got cash? Never. Not $100. I got gone, dude. I feel like this was later on in life when I got the hundreds. By the way, I don't want you to think that I was your grandpa was slanging. I think this was like, you know, when I had my driver's license and all. Oh, now you're backpedaling it, dog. Now all of a sudden you're like, no,

I actually never did get $100. If remembering, I'm sorry, I'm remembering things. Well, we go in an organic way. I'm sorry. I never got, I was like thrift shopping and stuff. Yeah, no, I was super poor. Picking up cigarettes off the ground. You drove a Corvette to school. Yeah, exactly. You want to know what a real aunt move, what a real like grandma move was? Send you like a $2 bill in a car because that's player. That's so tight. Yeah, when I got the $2 bill, I'd be like, lucky. I went on a bachelor party one time and a buddy, he showed up with, uh, I guess it was $200 in $2 bills for the strip club. Oh, and I was like, he goes, dude, I had to go to like the post office or he had to go to the, I guess,

he, I think he said the post office and I was like weird. I don't even understand. Yeah, or, or it's just like dollar coins. You're just like throwing change at this poor woman. Sacajaweas. Damn son. Here's my question. This is a bit of a, a segue here, but not a segue, a tangent. Uh-oh, go off. Go off king. In my twenties, I went to the post office and I got those dollar coins back and I got like $10 worth in, in dollar coins, right? Went to the bar that night and I fucking paid for a drink in those dollar coins. Yeah. And she was like, no, the, bartender. And I was like, you know, we were all broke. I was like, this is what I have. And she's like, you're stop fucking with me. And she had me kicked out of the bar. Wow.

I was like, you were probably in a little wild, you were probably in a little wild child. I was being funny about it. Cause I'm like, look, here's what I had. I had this and she was like, no, she kicked your ass out. Well, how many coins did you give this one? It was like $10 for like a, like a $8 drink or whatever. Well, then she should have just taken the $10. That's what I said. And she, I go, you're not going to take this. She's like, no. And I go, this is money. That's absurd. And then all of a sudden it was, yeah, it was a lot of that. And then on the way out, I saw the guy who I had interviewed for the job earlier that day. I'm just kidding. I'm making up an episode now. It writes itself. No, I told you. The pleasure is ours. So what's the saying?

What are we going with? I feel like good, I mean, things come, things come, things come in packages. Close your eyes. Things are coming. I feel like something about showing and growing, like sometimes a small package can grow into being something pretty large if we rub it the right way. Maybe, maybe, maybe it's just like that. A truer sentence has never been so. Yeah. Sometimes a small thing can grow into something pretty great if you rub it the right way. Yeah, maybe it's just like, chill, open the package and see what's up, what's inside. You never know. Don't judge a package by its size. The poetry is in motion. The amount of times Kyle said for these phrases that he, that he adds the word chill to it is pretty incredible.

Yeah, maybe like a big part of this. It's always just like chill, just chill. Yeah, it's not good things come with little packages. It's like, chill, you're lucky to get a package. Honestly, thank you. Honestly, mate. Chill. Chill, it's not vibro. Yeah, chill, open the package and see what's inside and then figure out what it is. Trojan condoms, America's number one condom, bam. Now that's a really good thing in a small package. This episode was brought to you by Trojan, America's number one condom brand. You can get any of Trojan's products that were featured in this episode like Bear Skin Raw, Ultra Fit, Ultra Thin and Delay Spray online or at any major retailer. Do your best, get yours on.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.