This Is Important - The Pleasure Is Ours: "Is Failure the Best Teacher?"

Episode Date: January 6, 2022

It's Ep. 7 of The Pleasure Is Ours -- the This Is Important-hosted BONUS podcast all about blowing up stupid pieces of advice!IN THIS EPISODE: Is failure the best teacher, or is it just a substitute mentor for success? Sucking ass at skateboarding never made Adam a skateboarder, but the instant gratification of being great at baseball certainly got him on the team. Ya know...until he got hit by that cement truck... But do the same rules apply in the bedroom? While Blake says Halloween is the perfect catalyst to making pirate role-play a part of your everyday sex life, Adam "hypothetically" reminisces about that one time he tried his luck with a bowling pin... Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Pleasure Is Ours is brought to you by Trojan, America's number one condom brand. Feel your best, get yours on. What's the show called? The Pleasure Is Ours.

I think I know how we're kicking it off. You already know. The Pleasure. The Pleasure Is Ours. Whoa, tone it down, Adam. This isn't TII, brother. I know it's on. Is that how you come out? Is hot and heavy like that? Well, that's how I ejaculate. You say mirror, mirror, mirror. Yeah, it's the beginning of a classic 2009 Sean Paul song. When Adam fucks, it's like a Jamaican reggaeton club. Right when I come, I say, not giving the light.

Right, people. Not giving the light. Is it giving the light? Is that what he says? Not giving the No way to tell. Welcome to the Pleasure. The Pleasure Is Ours. Oh, it really is, guys. And it is. I'm glad to be here with you guys. Ours and Ours. The Pleasure Is Ours. That's a kind of fun play on words. The Pleasure Is Ours. Like it goes for hours. Sure. When you got a Trojan condom on, you can fuck. When you're strapped into a Trojan man's condom. That's my guy. You're able to boink for hours. So those are the new trademarked phrases that they're asking us to say.

That's what I say. I say boink. Do you guys have any fun terms with your girl when you say? Because, you know, I say, I say boink. And now it became like a funny thing that I was saying. I was like, hey, maybe we should boink. Ha ha, gigs, chucks and gigs. But she then now says it. During? No, like, sexually. Like being like, hey, let's go. Do you want to boink? Boink me. That's fine. If she's saying boink me harder in bed, that's weird. Is it like that time of the night where you're both like two drinks at the bar and she kind of leans in and she's like, I think I'm ready to boink. I mean, honestly, yeah, that's not too far off. Let's boink. But I mean, who are you kidding? Night time? Two drinks? Nah.

Yeah. Damn, dude. Not even two. Nah. I'm tucking it away. I'm tucking it away. What I'm going to do is I'm going to double up. I'm going to have four. I'm going to go to bed. And then when I wake up in the morning, you're going to whisper in her ear. Do you want to boink? Boink. Is it time to boink? Boink, boink, boink. Hey, since you're so tired, there's no way you want to get out of bed. You're mine if we boink. If we boink. How's that hangover? And that leads us and that's a nice segue into our topic for this episode of the pleasure is ours. If failure is the best teacher. So sometimes if you fail at maybe a... Boink.

...convince your lady to boink the night before, maybe the next morning. Maybe the next morning. Yeah. You can learn from your mistake and maybe she's a morning gal. You don't know. Yeah. I mean, some of the greatest boinks ever recorded are in the morning or in the afternoon. It doesn't happen at night every time. It doesn't have to. It doesn't have to. Yeah. Why are we doing it so late? You know when you would... Sometimes you're boinking at like 4 a.m.? Like why do we choose to boink so late slash early in the morning, like 4 a.m.? Like those hookups are not tight, dude. Get me in prime time. 4 a.m. Get me at 2 p.m. right after my peanut butter and jelly.

Like why... I mean, you've had a... You're in a committed relationship for a long while now. I'm thinking back to my youth. Remember when he had... It was like, you know, the whole party and you're just waiting for all the homies... You're in your phone sleepover. Everyone else fell asleep and you nudged your buddy. It's like you and a chick were buddied up. You like, no, it's going down. You know, we're feeling each other, but you have homies who are just partying into the wee hours of the night and you're like, you have nowhere else to go. You don't have your own house. What you're going to go back to your mom and dad's house. And is failure the best teacher in that situation? Maybe you learn, hey, let's get this done earlier

in the day. We can get it over with and then we can really tie one on with our friends. There's no option. I'm working at the movie theater. I have a day job. Right. But do you have a car? Absolutely not. Kyle's driving me. Stop it. So we mentioned on... This is important and it is that Kyle betrayed us and he is no longer a part of the podcast. And so he's no longer part of this podcast as well. When the guy gets busy, he gets busy across the board. Yeah, there's no way he could fit it in.

There's no possible way. So... I don't know how we fit it in, but for sure... I honestly don't know. He's getting boinked by his project and I get it, man. Sometimes projects boink you. I feel like I've been getting boinked. I was up in the four AM hour this morning. I feel like I'm a little boinked right now. Were you boinking? Sorry. No, I was sorry. Not boinking.

You don't even know what I was saying. No, I didn't even have time to boink myself. I'm alone in a hotel in Atlanta shooting a movie. So... You're boinking your hand. But here's the thing. Our subject of the day is failure is the best teacher, but you're kind of saying failure is not an option. So are you... Did you not say that? I didn't say anything like that. I didn't say that. That's not what I said.

Because you guys are taking failure as like not scoring your partner, but I'm saying like pleasing them. Like maybe failure isn't an option. Hey, you know, since Kyle's off the project, I don't want this to be we... Now the new dynamic is we pick on Blake. Yeah, leave me alone. But let it rain. But don't say stupid shit, dude. Yeah, fair enough.

So failure is the best teacher, right? Sure. And that's the phrase. I kind of disagree with it. I mean, I mean, it is a good teacher. It's a substitute teacher. It's a perfectly good substitute teacher. Like you're not mad if failure taught you a thing, but you would prefer to be successful. Successful. It's sort of like when you're a kid and you go to play a sport and you just

absolutely fucking suck at the sport. What was that sport for you? For me, it was skateboarding. I cannot skateboard to save my life. I just can't stand sideways on a thing. I was a fruit booter. I strapped into them rollerblades. This is a skitching ass, bitch. Oh, hell yeah, I was. No, but like, okay, but for this saying to work, failure is the best teacher.

Then you would have fell down a couple of times on the skateboard and then been amazing. And then learned from it. But you didn't see exactly. That's right. That's why I say it's not the best saying is I'm saying that it's it isn't the best teachers because I failed at that. And then I went and played baseball and I just was good at that right away or at least fairly good at it. And so I was like, well, fuck this, I'm going to play baseball now. So did failure teach you that you shouldn't be skateboarding? Arguably you could say that.

Okay. Arguably. Okay. I like that. Well, have you guys ever had like a specific failure in the bedroom where you tried something new and it didn't go over well or I don't know. I guess let me just think of something dressed up like a furry comes to mind is something like crazy. No, I never dressed as a furry.

I used to try to shove bowling pins up. And fail. The pleasure. Dude, I succeeded. I was still right. It slipped right in. No, I didn't do that. I'm going to give you guys the hack that cheat code right now is Halloween is a great time to

explore with like fun things in the bedroom. Oh, so you can be like, I could be anybody. Yeah, you can really step outside of who you are in the bed and be like, right. Now I'm a freaking a freaking pirate of the bedroom. And then maybe that's your kink. And if they really you really hook them and they're like super into it, all of a sudden you're having pirate sex every day. Like you have a hook for a hand because you're a pirate.

See, but that's the thing though, Blake. You say like, let me get that booty. And she's like, fucking gross. Don't I don't act like a pirate. My father was killed by pirates. I hate pirates. Then right. Yeah.

Then that wouldn't work. That would not be the best fail. So next Halloween, we try something else. So let's see, failure can happen once a year. That's when you actually have like a green light to experiment, like on some real weird shit, you know what I mean? No, but keep going. Yeah.

Well, what is the specific thing, Blake, from your life specifically? Because I told you about how I shoved bowling pins up my asshole. Yeah. And that's a real thing. He was honest with us. Why aren't you honest with us? I was 100% honest with that. How did you introduce that?

How did you even introduce that? And that was like, okay. So, okay. Hold up. She's a big bowler. And I was like, stay right. Because we're talking about butt play, right? Like maybe you want to start to introduce butt play.

It's not even playing. It's extreme. Maybe you want to start to introduce butt play into the relationship. You don't come out the gate like, hey, babe, shove this bowling pin up my ass. You why? Because you're going to fail. And that's not, that's not a good teacher.

Well, maybe you should dump that girl. That's the lesson you would learn from that. Yeah. So if your thing is, and my thing is, shoving bowling pins up your ass. I'm just saying let's work towards that. Then, and then the first time you go to try it, you're going to fail. And that would not be the best teacher.

Right. It's going to be a harsh teacher. That's for damn sure. Hey, and what I said, guys, hypothetically. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads.

On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app,

Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Pleasure is ours. So you are listening to The Pleasure is Ours. And as you know, as you know, we are sponsored by Trojan Condoms, America's number one condom brand. Specifically today, we're talking about, dare I say, one of my favorite condoms. I dare you. And one that I used quite a bit back in the day, bare skin.

Thinner than thin. It feels like the real deal, holy field. Is that a condom made out of bare skin? A bare skin? No. Yeah, is that what that is? No. I don't think so.

Oh, what is it? It's the ideal condom for those who want comfort and sensitivity. I know that. It's known for being thinner than dense. You could have a natural experience. And what else is there? Like, I feel like if we're really breaking down the math, which I feel like we are, it's even a math guy.

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All of it. 100%. All of it. Yeah, one of Trojan's top five selling items. For good reason. Wow. Trojan is triple tested and trusted for over how many years, boys? 1,100.

Years. Bare skin. Wow. Get closer. You know how Trojan gave us so much, so many condoms and just a backpack full of condoms? I've got one on right now. Very cool. My mom was visiting me for Thanksgiving and she needed an extra bag to go home.

She got a bunch of stuff when she was there. And I gave her the Trojan backpack to rock going home. Trojan, ma'am. Trojan, ma'am. And to be fair, it's not just Trojan plastered all over the thing. It's kind of like... Oh, it's very subtle. It says ultra fit on it.

But if you know your condoms, which I know the homies at LAX and the Kansas City Airport, we're like, oh, dang. Yeah. A lot of subtle winks. This 60 year old woman is throwing out some vibes. If your mom just started getting airport winks just at Sky News. She must be boinking this old man next to her. That's what's up.

The Hudson News Register guy's like, I see you, girl. I see you. Do you guys ever buy a penthouse at the airport? Buy a penthouse at the airport. They don't even sell penthouses at the airport, do they? No. Gosh, I've been tempted. Because where are you going to look at it?

They used to. Oh, they used to. You remember they would have the little black bars across it? No, they totally used to. But now they don't. I haven't seen that in years now. They've stopped. Reno sells them.

I guess just certain cities. If they stopped, I don't want to be here anymore, man. But who was doing that back in the day? Yeah, who was doing that? And that's what I'm saying. Where you looking at it at the airport or you pulling a blank and maybe cranking one down in the seat when you're flying? I didn't need a penthouse.

All I needed was a little Lara Croft fucking advertisement. They probably weren't selling them and therefore they stopped putting them in the racks. Yeah. And guess what? That failure to sell penthouse at the airport taught them that maybe they shouldn't be stocking them. Therefore, failure as the best teacher still doesn't make sense.

Well, no, because you're right. Because remember Playboy kind of started to fail. So they took the nudity out of Playboy and then they failed again, dude. I was like, maybe that maybe they didn't learn the right. Sometimes when you fail and you get taught, you don't learn the right lesson. Yeah, it's not encouraging. It's discouraging. I feel like success is the best teacher because you're like, oh, cool.

This is what I did right. How did I do that? I did this right. And it doesn't need to be a grand slam to speak on what I'm the best at, which was baseball, which I mentioned earlier. Did you ever have a grand slam? Absolutely. No, I hit like one home run in the fourth grade.

You got a home run, though? I did. Yeah. No, I actually hit a few home runs in the fourth grade. Fourth grade all-star team. Then I was hit by a cement truck and was absolutely shitty at all sports, besides hacky sack. But I feel like you don't have to hit a grand slam every time.

It doesn't need to be a home run. You just got to get on base. I'm all about these analogies, boys. Well, I tried to walk it down sports and you guys said no, but I do agree. A grand slam, a butt fucking. It can't be a sexual grand slam. Like, holy moly, this is the best sex of my life. A grand slam is a butt fucking for you?

Is that what you... I don't know if that'd be my grand slam. I think it might be. Yeah, I think Blake just outed himself. And that's fine. That's your thing. That's okay. That's Blake's grand slam.

Cool. I'm sure it's a lot of people's. Yeah. What? The rules of the sport are a little different. You guys are playing baseball. I'm playing cricket over here, baby. Let's go.

Okay. Name two things about cricket. Name one rule of cricket. What do they hit the ball with? A paddle? I don't know. Maybe that checks out over here. Yeah, that must be the or.

Failure is not an option. But that's not the saying, man. Failure is the best teacher, but that's not true. Failure is an okay teacher. Right. I think what you said earlier holds... That holds true right now. It's failure is the substitute teacher.

Failure is a substitute teacher for success. Yes, I love that. I actually think that's super clean. Like... How about that? A little longer, a little chunky, but... Failure is the substitute teacher for success when you do something, when you try something new.

This is what I'm saying. You can take the L, but don't hold on to the L. Come back with it. Oh my God. Come back. Reinspired. There's no L in failure. Yeah.

There is. It would work if there wasn't. Yeah. Sometimes losing is what needs to happen. Sometimes you need to be humbled, right? So you can come back, eschew more better the next time. To say humble again. I feel like if you get your ass kicked doing something,

or you just get... Say you think you're the shit. Or you just think you're going to talk to a girl, and you go to talk to her, and she's like crazy rude to you, which has happened, I feel, to everybody. Right, or just not interested. Yeah, no. It doesn't even have to be rude.

It could just be like, you're the fucking mic. Well, I thought girls would be like, you're fucking gross. Like straight up yuck. Maybe you had diarrhea. Oh man, that's... Yeah, I did just shit myself like, what? Come on, man. No, you're always put together.

I get it. I'm very, very put together. Clean cut. Corn fed. You know, and she might hit you with like, oh, fucking, you're disgusting. You're gross. Get out of here.

She might. I feel like that would teach me less. I'd be like, well, no, guess what? I'm not going to go talk to pretty girls anymore, because they think that I'm a little treasure troll. Right, right. Now, if she was like... Treasure trolls are cute.

Hey, you know what? Regular troll. Hey, you're pretty cute for a treasure troll. And she gave me a little something, and it's like you're pretty cute, and then through the dig in for a treasure troll, I'd be like, okay, hey, guess what? I'm pretty cute.

I got to work on my treasure troll vibe that I'm giving. Okay, yeah, like maybe giving people luck. But a full rejection. So it's not a full failure. That's not the best teacher. You're saying don't fall flat on your face. Yeah, it's a part failure. Life is a treasure troll.

There's going to be some failures. Yeah, life's a treasure troll. Pay the toll. Pay the toll, which is failure. Well, that's a failure. You got to pay a little bit in the treasure troll chest of failure jewels. Treasure troll chest.

I do think there are definitely lessons you can learn from losing. I think we impart this wisdom on everybody. Like if you fail, it's not the end, right? It's not the end. I don't know. My kid lost his soccer game the other day, and they were fucking done.

Tournament over. And did you kick him out of the house? Were you like, it's over? It's done? Or what do you do? How do you pick him up? I made him get back on that field and kick the ball with me.

Well, that thing is, is it can be over. You don't have to succeed in everything you do. Blake, I know you've tried to skateboard before. I mentioned skateboarding before. I never see you skateboard now. I remember when you used to go out with Kyle and you would try to pedal or push the board around or whatever the fuck they say, these skateboarders.

And you gave up. Sometimes the lesson that failure is teaching you is that you shouldn't be doing something. Sometimes. Right? That's the lesson you do. I think it ends with sometimes. I like what Adam just did.

How about failure is the best teacher sometimes? I think if you entered this world and your parents spend their whole childhood gassing you up saying, you could do anything. You could be anything. You could do whatever. And then you actually go and apply yourself to those things and you fucking suck at it.

Yeah. That's the lesson you need to learn is like, Hey man, I'm not going to be a mathematician. That's just not happening. But can't you get better at something? Like I remember when I met you, I was like, who is this guy? And you've become like a better guy.

You think? I mean, I work on it every day, dog. You're a better person now. Thank you, man. And I put in the hours. Right. But that's because I failed a lot. Yeah.

How about failure is not a teacher. It's an option sometimes. No, I don't like that. No, no, that one fucking sucked. I like failure is the best substitute teacher because the real teacher is the winning and you want to get back to that. You want to get those dubs.

I like that's tight. Did anyone write that down? Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans?

So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.