This Is Important - The Pleasure Is Ours: "Never Judge a Book By Its Cover"

Episode Date: November 11, 2021

It's Ep. 4 of The Pleasure Is Ours—the This Is Important-hosted BONUS podcast all about blowing up stupid pieces of advice!IN THIS EPISODE: They say you should never judge a book by its cover—the same way you can't tell the size of a dude's junk just by the amount of big dick energy he gives off. With that said, sometimes the dude with the sketchy face tattoo is just that: straight-up sketch. And as Blake once learned: The Great Gatsby is, indeed, as boring as it looks. In this week's Ders-less episode of The Pleasure Is Ours (our fourth co-host is big-timing us shooting a movie with Bobby DeNiro), the boys argue over the role that judgment plays in an overly saturated cultural landscape. On the one hand, it's efficient! After all, who has the time to consume everything out there? It's easier to assume that Ders' affection for American Psycho automatically makes him a serial killer. But on the other hand, you may never discover just how wild Velma from Scooby Doo can get once she takes her glasses off...So quick! Grab your circa-2003 Gateway laptop and type in Boobs.com—it's time for some arthemedick. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Pleasure Is Ours is brought to you by Trojan, America's number one condom brand. Feel your best, get yours on. What's the show called? The Pleasure Is Ours.

I think I know how we're kicking it off. You already know. The Pleasure. The Pleasure Is Ours. We're back. Guys, hold on. I have to get specifically horny for these. Oh, you do? Because as you know, this is the Pleasure Is Ours. I like that he said this is the Pleasure Is Ours. Yeah. And this is a very, very, very, very, very, very special episode of The Pleasure Is Ours. Tell them why. Do we have a special guest? No, a very special guest. Yeah. No wonders. That's a special guest. I like it. The special guest is who's not here. Yeah. The special guest is that we don't have one.

Yeah, we're steering the ship Durr's list. You know why? It's because he's a big, I think he's big-time in us. You guys think he's big-time in us? He's like a big-time movie star. Oh, it's a big-time movie. He's in movies with Bobby DeNiro. That's what his friends call him. And that's what Durr's calls him now. And suddenly, suddenly he's too good to do the podcast because he has to work. Oh, he has to be in a major movie motion picture. He's a big-time Hollywood actor. Too good for the podcast. Well, guess what, Durr's? The Pleasure Is Ours. We'll pick up the slack. And in today's episode, we're going to be just breaking down the old time he's saying and really configuring it into something brand-fucking new. What did you just say?

We're configuring it. Yeah, we're going to be configuring it. Oh, yeah, yeah. We're reconfiguring it. Beautiful. Come on, man. We don't have Durr's smart ass here to correct us. This is like the babysitter's dad, baby. Yeah. Dishes are done. They say don't tell mom, but I'm going to tell her. We killed the babysitter. Sorry. He's dead to us. So what are we dissecting today on The Pleasure Is Ours? It's the saying you can't judge a book by its cover. Oh. Old saying, old as Durr is saying, old as Durr. That's an old ass saying. People be saying that. Like what the fuck's a book? Yeah, that was like as soon as they created books, they were like, don't don't judge that one by its cover. That's an ugly cover. It's actually a really good book, but I didn't spend the money on the cover.

I just finished the book. It's kind of coverless, but don't judge it by that. The first few books, they were going just by the strength of the words, and then some fucking genius was like, you don't have to have a great product as long as the cover is sick. And admittedly, that's how I buy books. If I'm usually at a Hudson News at an airport and I'm like, I need to, maybe I buy a book and then I kind of look at covers, then I usually don't buy it and just buy gum. That's cool. Yeah, usually I just buy an $11 water and some gum and just sort of stare at the covers of books, but that's sort of how I judge it. Absolutely. Is by the cover. Well, yeah, I mean, if you even translate past books because I don't read,

I don't read anymore, but even if you talk about a movie, I'm only looking at the cover. Well, that's the thing, guys. The good thing, Derz's old ass isn't here because I feel as our generation, the young millennials, Derz is, I believe, a boomer. I'm not sure. Big boomer energy, but we're like millennials, you know, and we were kind of the generation that was taught to judge everything by its cover. We had to judge albums. We had to judge movies. We had to judge books because we can't just consume all this shit. We would have been just, you know, in our rooms jerking off watching movies. Well, that is what we did, but yeah. What's up? You know, you jerked off while watching movies.

Yeah. Hold on. Which one? You're talking about porno? What? You didn't? Well, I mean, no, not really. Usually, I would, on my mom's gateway computer in the basement, I typed in boobs.com, which was the first website I actually went to, the very first one. That's going to yield results. And in about 30 minutes, I was able to look at boobs. It was a really exciting day in my life. And I don't know. I guess maybe I, not really movies, usually the show Silk Stockings that was on USA all night. Well, I don't know if you guys recall, we had a really great resource. Do you guys remember, what was it called, Mr. Skin, where it was like a website or it was actually a book

at first? Wasn't it like Mr. Skin's movie reviews? It was a book, a coffee table book. Well, basically what it was was like a encyclopedia. Yeah. And it told you what movies, at what time, had nudity in them. So you could, you know, you could get your Mr. Skin, you could print out the sheet on your home computer, your mom's home printer, bring it to Blockbuster Video. Then you get the VHS, you put it in, you fast forward to the proper time code. Thank you. And you jump in and you see some tots. And then you start ripping your joints, bro. And then you're in your room with your own personal VCR mom. She didn't give you that. She didn't give you that. Because you're gonna,

you're gonna rent under siege and you're gonna pause it when the girl comes out of the cake with the titties and you're gonna start ripping your joint. Damn, bro, that's rough. I'm trying to start Yeah, no, I do think that we did judge a lot of things by their covers. And then also, sure, I feel like our generation, the coolest generation, 90s, the best, the best. We judged even ourselves by the by our covers, like you identified like, with the type of music that you liked, you would dress like that. Like, absolutely. Like, I think when people look at me, they're like, Oh, my God, he's back again. He's obviously a backstreet. He's obviously a backstreet boy. Yeah, he's a, he's in a boy band. He's a clean cut guy. I think when people look at me,

they're like, get that man a blanket in a hot meal. Someone just buys you a hot plate. Yeah. I mean, there was a time when judging a book by its cover, it's kind of like parental advice, like, yeah, a person like Kyle, you're gonna want your children to judge him because he, he does look like a molester. He's not. We know him to be like a very friendly, nice guy. Very good guy. Yeah. But you don't want your kids walking up to somebody like Kyle who looks similar to what you would. That goes for anybody with like what we call a pervert stash. Okay. Just right. Exactly. How did the, how did a mustache even get like, you know, that place? Like you have a pervert mustache. Yeah, you do have a pervert mustache. I think it's more of a porn

stash, but porn stash. I also feel like if you were a child, you also might be afraid of Blake's look, you know, as well. Blake's look is very overwhelming. Lots of hair going on, a pervert stash. And he says things like rip your joint. Well, I do, but I say it amongst my elder statesmen, my older colleagues are not saying that around children at the playground. Okay. I'm saying that with my bones. And so you're saying, you're, you're saying that that's an okay thing to say around your colleagues at work? Okay. Well, okay. Well, touche, touche. Tissie. Depends on the business and our business. Yes, it is. Okay. If we're rolling something, sound, or video, you can say it. Okay. You can say it. Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. Well, I don't know.

I feel like, yeah, now like these, these later generations, not ours, not ours, like the sick 90s millennials, we're kind of going counter like your look, like you look like one thing, but then you present a totally different entity. So, so, okay. So for my look, I look like a clean cut, all American guy, but really, I'm a scumbag. Yeah, you're a, you're a heroin addict, dude. Yeah. I'm a freak. I'm a bad boy. Bank robber. You're a bank robber, dog. The outlaws coming to Netflix. It's gotta be shot first. Hold on. Gotta be shot. Yeah, it's in the process. But like, I think we discussed this once. Like back in our days, you know, you looked at a man or a woman with a face tattoo and you said, this person is a

serial killer. Yeah. But at this point in our junction of society, that person could be a librarian, a babysitter, an ice cream man, you know, a police officer. The face tattoo basically just says now that you are in, at some point in your life, you were committed to art so much that you threw it on your face. Yes. Yes. Yes. You really loved art. Yes. And, and, and hopefully, you know, what you write on your face is your mission statement, you know, like I know post Malone has always tired or whatever, which to me is like, it shows us work ethic. Yeah. To me, that was a poor choice. I feel like that one. You could go ahead and judge him by the cover on that one. Yeah. I would, I would judge that cover. I've also heard nothing but great

things about the guy. I've heard he's super nice, really good guy. Yes. But I mean, sometimes he's not. He can't be tired all the time. He's not tired. Oh, I'm tired a lot. Like if you work a lot, you know, you're tired quite a bit. But you're right. Even if they're out of one, out of like a week or two, there's going to be one or two days that where you're like, I'm feeling good and chipper. Yeah. Yeah. You're good. Maybe you did get enough sleep. You know, I think sometimes it's okay to judge a book by its cover. It is. I mean, it's helpful sometimes. Sometimes you're right. You don't want to, because you know, obviously you look at Kyle and you're like, oh, that guy for sure, for sure smells, you know, maybe, maybe he has a blade on him. I don't want to, you might

walk to the other side of the street or something. Yeah. If he's sitting down and like on some cardboard, you're like, you're like, uh, you know, like that might be his house. I don't want to get too close. Sure. And I don't want to like walk through his living room. He's running now. He's running, but he might, but then actually you get to know Kyle, he's just sitting, he's just, he's taking a break. He's sitting, you know, he's, you know, he's sitting on a curb. He brought his cardboard, a little seat out and he's just chilling on the side of the road. Yeah. He got done eating some pizza and he said, you know what, the cement is cold. I'm just going to sit on this, on this box right here. But that could be helpful. Like the people,

knowing that people judge me and think that about me can be helpful for when I'm say out at late at night walking. And I'm like, okay, I know that I look a little scary and smell. Right. Use it to your advantage. Nobody's going to want to come up and rob me because they'll probably hit them with a lot of stink. You know what I mean? It's a defense mechanism. That's absolutely true. Yeah. Maybe I should, I should grow out like a porn mustache or creeper mustache or do something, grow out my hair because I'm super. Face tats. You are. You look like a mark for sure. I walk in the streets. I'm just like with my stubby little legs, just tooting about town. Yeah. Like let's jump this guy. Yeah. He deserves to have everything in his life stolen from him.

But if you turned around and you had a chin strap tattoo that said, I have a gun and it's loaded, I'm not messing with you. That's a good idea. You know, or you just have Jesus tattooed across your forehead. I'm like, okay, this guy will kill me. And no, this guy has a higher power. Yeah. I don't want to mess with Jesus is number one. Number one disciple. I remember when I met Anders for the first time, I was like, this guy seems like a normal, cool, funny guy. And then you get to know him and you're like, is he a serial killer? Yeah, I think Anders is by far the most he reinforces the fact that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover the most because he does. He looks like the all American, you know, regular guy, guy next door, but he is by far our most

American psycho friend. He is Patrick Bateman. He even suggests to us to watch the movie and read the book so much that I was like, what are you trying to tell us? I remember when I first met Dersey, he gave me a copy of American Psycho, the book for Brett Easton Ellis gave me a copy of the book and a DVD of Jamie Foxx live from the foxhole and goes, this is who I am comedically. And I'm like, well, he knows himself. He knows himself. You're not going to get that from judging the way he looks. All right. Yeah, you wouldn't get that that he's the biggest Jamie Foxx fan of all time and also might be a serial killer. Yeah, he's he's he's the Ted Bundy of our friend crew. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist

and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. The pleasure is ours.

So the pleasure is ours is obviously brought to you by Trojan, America's number one condom brand. We all know that. Yeah, we all rock with with Trojan. Yes. And specifically, this episode, we're talking tandem couples vibrating ring. Wait a second, what is it called? Yeah, it's tandem couples vibrating ring. Vibes designed to stimulate both partners at the same damn time. Okay, now you're speaking my language. Yep, it's vibrating. So you put evidently, you slide it right on that shaft on the penis, the penal shaft, and then it's jiggling, it's vibrating. You're feeling all stimulated. She's liking it. It's a shared experience. The ring, it's worn on the penis provides a rib stimulator with an extended reach for for us for the dudes

and textured vibrating ring for her. I feel like I would, I would dig this. I know I'm going to dig this. This might need to fall off the truck. Trojan is going to have to back the truck up into my house. I bet it's going to feel so dang good for the both of us. Oh, you don't have to bet. Guys, I've used it. It is incredible. It's just come town over here. Are you wearing it now? Yeah, me and my partner, we're just orgasing constantly. Orgasm? Orgasm. Bro, yeah. Wait, what? Did I stutter? I orgasm. Yeah, he orgasms so intensely that he doesn't know how to say the word anymore. I know how to say that's how they say it in like France, dude. Yeah, where they really say really get down. Okay. But guess what? We're in America, baby. Well, in that case,

this thing's a super jizz bomb. Wait a second. I got a huge question, guys. Can this be worn with a condom? It can. Yes. It can be used with a condom. That is a good question. I know you might only need it for like five minutes. Get them. But you can use it up for 20 minutes. And that's a long time to be just throwing it down. Is it double tested? Single tested? If it's single tested, Jesus Christ. No, Trojan is triple tested and trusted for, guess how many years? A hundred. Yeah, Blake got it right away. For over 100 years. Trojan is triple tested and trusted for over 100 years, baby. There are times, yeah, when you judge the book by the cover and the book sucks, I mean, going back to grade school, The Great Gatsby, terrible cover. Oh, actual book.

Equally terrible book, right? The book sucked ass, right? Can we agree? What's the cover of The Great Gatsby, buddy? I never read that one. I feel like I read the Cliff Notes on that one. Oh, it sucks. It's terrible. I hated The Great Gatsby. I love the movie. I thought the movie was fantastic. But you can judge movies by their covers. You can judge movies by their covers. You usually know because you see the actors you like and they knock it out of the park. But with books, you have to invest so much time to read a freaking book. It's going to take you up to half a year to finish a damn book. Bro, for real. At the beginning of COVID times, when we were in lockdown 2020, I was like, I'm going to read a book a week. This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to sit in

my backyard and just crank a book. I read three books. Wow. Congratulations. Yeah, I'm actually pumped for you. Bro, good job. I'm actually pumped for you. Yeah, thank you. It was a little under my goal. Well, you did it. No, no, no, no. Let's reframe that. You did that. You did a book a week for three weeks, right? So you did it. I'm just going to reframe it a little bit. You know what I mean? Make it work. Since I do get extra freaking horny for this pod because it is a pleasure is ours. I do because I am a Trojan man. You know me. So we bring this. Trojan man. This is the pleasure is ours. If we bring this into sexual terms, don't judge a book by its cover. Isn't this kind of one of the greatest fantasies where you get a nerd dude or a nerd dudette,

you take their glasses off, you get them back home, and then they're just total freak shows. You thought you were dating a computer nerd, and then you get them in the sack and they're just animal. Keep going, bud. No, the floor is yours. I like it. Well, yeah, you know, there's the nerd fantasy. You know, the girl, she's the nerd at school. You take the glasses off, she puts the leather. I like it. I like it. I like this fantasy of yours. I guess, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm not the only one. Come on. Look at Thelma from Scooby-Doo. Do you remember her with the glasses? You mean Wilma? You mean Wilma? I think, I thought it was Thelma. I think it's Wil, I don't know. I thought it was Wilma. Wilma is from the Flintstones. That's, yeah, you right.

You right. I'm talking Thelma, dude. It's not Thelma. It's Velma. It's Velma. Oh, it's Velma. That's a sexy ass name, by the way. Velma. And you know, I thought I was the only kid with a crush on Velma, but then I freaking like Google like sexy Velma photos. Oh my God, dude. Oh my God. I think it might be my number one. Turns out there are other dudes in their mid-30s that got a crush on Velma still. The Velma Cosplay Game. Oh my gosh. So what would, what would a good renaming of, because you can't judge a book. You, sometimes you can judge a book by its cover. Yes. And then other times it's a bad idea. Maybe the, maybe the saying should be, let's stop reading books. Watch movies instead. Well, I think that's what it is. It's archaic.

It's like just judge a movie by the cover. Yeah. And also there's no really covers anymore, because you're not really buying DVDs the way you used to. Also there's infinite covers. Well, Netflix changes the cover out every week, every month. They're changing the cover. So we don't even have the opportunity to judge it by a single cover. So what if it's like a judge the movie by it's Netflix freeze frame, but if you want to see nudity, first consult Mr. Skin. Well, yeah, I feel like that doesn't roll off the tongue. I feel like that's not the best, like slogan, because it is a little long. Mm-hmm. Yeah, true. I don't know really how to truncate that. Judge the Netflix movie by the original thumbnail. Huh? Is that what we're talking

about right now? Mm-hmm. Yeah, the thumbnails. Let's get back to thumbnails. Judge the podcast by the thumbnail and the title. Okay. Okay. Don't do that. Actually, don't do that. Listen to it, because it might be different. I'm kind of like maybe the saying should be if you see the nerdy girl with the glasses on and you get those glasses off and then she's a freak show. Yeah, you know, you'd think like if you see like a buff guy and you're a girl or a gay person and you're like, you're like, oh, that guy probably is throws it down. He's probably really good at sex. He might not be. He might be really bad. Exactly. Because you can't judge his book by the start. Maybe he's done too many steroids and his dick fell off. Right. You know? And then he can't even

have sex. Absolutely. Yeah. Or he's too muscular and he, you know, and he breaks the bed and now you're like, sure. That's like many of mice and men. It's a good book, good book, bad cover. Bad cover, good book. Right. Exactly. But you might, yeah, you might get one of those guys and he's treating your sexual encounter like it's a freaking WWE match and he's just taking to the mat. Hell of a hard dude. You know what I mean? But then you, on the other hand, you got the, the nerd at school with the glasses. Yeah. She takes her hair down and he's whipsing around. No, this isn't the girl. I'm saying, what about the nerd boy with the glasses on and then you get his little, you get his little shorts off. It is a grown man. It is very interesting. I'm thinking

about, I'm thinking about grown muscle men with glasses on. And when you put the glasses on, they do look smaller muscularly than when they take the glasses off. You're under something, Blake. Yeah. I'm just saying like, as far as perception, as far as like penile size goes, like, sure, you're, you're expecting Shaq to have a Shaq size cock. But sometimes, you know, there's those really skinny dudes in the pornos with the huge, huge, huge, huge long ones like Pete Davidson. You know, I've heard a lot of rumors about that, you know, a skinny guy really large dog. You've heard rumors about his penis. You haven't heard any rumors about. I've heard tons. It's big dick energy. It's big dick energy. That's it. It's the energy. So, hey, what about

that? What if it's judge a book by its energy? Yeah, something along that. Can you judge the dick size by the big dick energy? You cannot. Yeah. You're saying, Adam, you're saying that doesn't correlate. You can have big dick energy and have a tiny pecker. Yeah, for sure. I think so. Okay. I think so. Because I think I give off really big dick energy. People are like, Oh, this guy probably is a fucking massive one. And then I don't. You know, you've seen Game Over Man and it's not. It's compared to mine. It's Oh, thank you. It appears heavier than mine. It does appear heavier than mine. Definitely has weight to it. Yeah, it's it's it's hefty. It does have some weight to it. I don't even know if it's

true. It's just the way that it sits. It looks like it sits heavier than mine. I actually think that would be really cool if we all got like a little, you know, one of those scales, one of those scales that you measure like ingredients out on, if we all measured our packages and see who has the heaviest. See, that might be genitalia. Yeah, I feel like we save that for this is important because that's a very important topic. And on the next episode, I do think you that's like the what you weigh like food on, right? Yeah, exactly. A food scale or a drug scale of sorts, or drug. Yeah. And so we, we all buy them and then we place no balls, no balls. Let's do two numbers, two numbers. Okay, we'll do with balls without balls. Yeah, because I have a feeling Kyle's

balls are very heavy. You know, this guy has the heaviest nuts in the game. Yeah, this is a scale breaker. And I know I'm judging you by your cover, but you look like a dude with super heavy balls. Yeah, once you have those two numbers, you can find out how much just the balls solo weighs. Okay. Yeah, with a little arithmetic, you're going to figure out the arithmetic. Again, this is something that we're supposed to be talking about with colleagues at work. Amen. The pleasure is ours. This is our job. I love my job. That'll be fun to pitch Ders when he is finally done being a goddamn movie star already. Jesus. I think he did. This is a big time move. He's sitting there in his robe and his fucking hotel ordering room service saying

he's working. I know he's big time. He's big time in us. He's a fat cat. He's being a fat cat. You know he is. So I'm excited to tell him that we all have to buy kitchen scales to measure our dicks to find. And we have to do it on the podcast. Yes. It doesn't, we don't have to film it. Below frame, below frame. Below frame. Just because I don't want any skeet numbers. I want to know that you're not chubbed. Well, how are you going to prove that? Because you can't get chubbed. Because I don't think the sound of any of our voices gets each other chubbed. Well, you're judging a book by its cover. We've been talking together for 20 years, you know. And I'm hard as hell the whole time, baby. And that's why I'm around you guys. You guys make me

so horny. There's a reason we keep coming back, okay? Oh, coming. How do you spell that coming? Oh, the pleasure is ours. The pleasure is ours. Yeah, I think the saying should be don't judge a book by its cover. Judge it by its penis size. Brilliant. I love that. Yeah, that sums everything up. But now we're talking judging. Penises have covers. Books have penises, I mean. Books have penises? Yeah, what do you mean? Yeah, you cover it, you cover it up with Trojan. Oh, I like that. I like that. Now I'm in, baby. This episode was brought to you by Trojan, America's number one kind of brand. You can get any of

Trojan's products that were featured in this episode like Bear Skin Raw, Ultra Fit, Ultra Thin, and Delay Spray online or at any major retailer. Do your best. Get yours on. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.