This Is Important - The Pleasure Is Ours: "Practice Makes Perfect"

Episode Date: November 4, 2021

It's Ep. 2 of The Pleasure Is Ours -- the This Is Important-hosted BONUS podcast all about blowing up stupid pieces of advice!IN THIS EPISODE: Obviously, practicing is the only way to get good at something, but can it really make you perfect? ...And is perfection something we should be striving for anyway? Perhaps sometimes...it's better to just give up. In this episode of The Pleasure is Ours, we enumerate the many skills the boys have failed to hone over the years: cup stacking, hacky-sacking, skateboarding, and video games. But all is not lost: while Kyle swears he's perfected "the JO," Anders indeed promises that, with enough practice, anyone can strap a ball-gag on their face with one hand. Also, does Adam jizz to his own jokes? Press play and find out. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Pleasure Is Ours is brought to you by Trojan, America's number one condom brand. Feel your best, get yours on. What's the show called? The Pleasure Is Ours.

Think I know how we're kicking it off. You already know. The Pleasure. The Pleasure Is Ours. Oh my. So here we are. Here we are. The Pleasure Is Ours. Brought to you by Trojan, America's number one condom brand. Trusted for 100 years. That's a long time. That is a long time to put your trust into something. I wonder when they first brought condoms out, when 100 years ago, were they like, whoa, this just blew the lid off of it? Or people were like, I got to say, I bet everyone loved it. I bet people were super high.

I bet as soon as like, because you're in these little towns, villages, and all of a sudden, everyone's just itchy. I don't know. I'm not good with history, but 100 years ago, everyone's in caves. People bathe in boiling water and usually die. Yeah, you're in your clay hut. Yeah, you're in your hut, or you're like, maybe you're in a castle, and it's medieval times, and you are on your armor and stuff. And then they're like- You finally get your chastity belt off. Yeah, and you're like- Squire. Oh my god. Guess what? When I go to battle, I wear my armor. So when I go to battle in the bedroom, I strap on a condom. And they go, we call them Trojan. Trojan, which is like, you know, Trojan horse.

Yeah. Well, it had to come from the Trojan horse, bro. It had to. It just had to. It had to. Okay, so what is the day's saying? What are we queuing up here today? It's a fun one. It is a goodie. It is a goodie. We're not talking about game time. We're talking about practice. Oh, we're talking about practice? We're talking about practice. You've heard the saying, you know what it is, practice makes perfect. And we're talking about practice. We're talking about practice? Practice makes perfect, which I can tell you straight up and down is bullshit.

Really? I grew up to that, but go ahead. Tell me. I think of one thing because I haven't practiced more and anything than like skateboarding and I have practiced so much. You're natural, brother. I am so bad. That is not even close to true that you haven't practiced. You've never practiced anything more than skateboarding. I know. That's a lie. You put more hours into directing and editing than skateboarding.

And playing guitar. Yeah. Yeah. Jerking off. You jerk off all the time, homie. But I am perfect. I am perfect at the jail. Oh, you're 100 percent. Yeah. That's that's one where it works. Yeah. Practice does work. Practice does make perfect when you're jailed.

Okay. You got me. You walked me all the way around in a circle and here I am. I'll spend you right around. Hey, did you guys want to talk a little bit about cup stacking? Oh, absolutely. About how much we practice that? Yeah. When I first, not really first met you, but when I was befriending you guys early on cup, cup stacking was a thing.

The pleasure was ours. Yeah. Can you explain for the audience? Because probably nobody knows what cup stacking is. What the hell was that? No, no, no, no, no, no. It's still, it's still around. No, it's not still hot though. Yeah. People, people stay stacking.

I saw a video the other day. Cup stacking is where you have, let's see, 11 cups or 12 cups. Possibly. There's no way to tell. Ton of cups. They're in two stacks and you have to go, you have to do two pyramids of three to one and then one pyramid of like five, four. It's the dorkiest shit in the world that is totally, totally pointless.

Like it's in the real world. There's no, it doesn't like translate. At least everything else that you do that's pretty dumb. It translates to something else. Like it's, you're at least, it's at least athletic or you're like, like I hacky sacked a ton. Nice. Hours and hours. I practiced hacky sacking and I did get great, but like it was a little workout.

I would get his little sweat going. And Adam, great, isn't perfect. Okay. Yeah, great, but not perfect. All right. But it's better. I feel like he's trying to, yeah, let's get back to cup stacking. I hacky stack too that.

So I'm not just like a cup stacker. Hey, don't be ashamed of your cup stacking words. Hey, why are we putting it on me? You guys are the ones that bought the cup stacking. Shit. I wasn't the one with that. We must have spent days on this shit trying to do these fucking formulas of stacking these cups weeks, weeks, months.

And also none of us even got remotely good. Like you see the, the kids on the internet that I could do it in like literally under a second. Yeah. I think it's under, under three or four seconds is what they were doing. Okay. Yeah. And we, we got not even close. You guys, we got under 10.

I think you guys get under 10. You guys got intense about it. It was next level. Yeah. We used to get in on that shit like late night too. Cause we just smoke stack cups like we never stopped because we lived together. And that's when I knew I'm going to ride with these guys. He's a fun group of dude.

I also think that was a similar time in our life when we were practicing a lot of like guitar hero. And I feel like if we put in as much time as we did on guitar hero and rock band, we might have actually been able to play the real instruments like a decent band. Yeah. On rock band. I remember thinking like we've just spent 48 hours playing. Yeah. Fucking all these songs we could remember how much I played.

We bowling. I played hours and hours and days. Oh, and did you ever get a perfect game? I did at Barney's Beanery one time. And they were having like a wee bowling tournament at Barney's Beanery, which is like a bar in LA. And I was like, okay, I'll do this. I play we bowling.

Bowled a 300. I'm elated. It's like, oh my God, I have a 300. That's a perfect game. You can't do better. And they go, congratulations. They give me one pint of beer. It was like, hey, that's cool.

That means nothing to anyone. And then give me one pint of beer. And I was like, oh, but wait, but we just skipped over it. You got a perfect game. It's bowling. Bowling is the one time when you practice can make perfect. There you go. Bowling is it.

Yeah, that's it. Darts, darts. How do you get perfect darts? Bullseyes all the time. Is that it? Yes. Okay. So has anyone ever done that?

Has anyone ever done a game like this? No, there's no, you don't win a game just by throwing bullseyes and darts. That's what I'm saying. Bowling is the one, the bowling is it. That's it. No, you can get a perfect 10 in like diving or gymnastics. You can pitch a perfect game in baseball. Not real sports.

They're not real. Exactly. Yeah, bowling is a real sport. The most brutally physical sport known to balance beams. Yeah, but that's also judge's discretion. Who the fuck do you think you are? I am. There's many variables.

Pins don't lie. Yeah, that's right, Mike. Thank you. Thank you, Mike. No, he's not wrong. It is. I will tell you that. It might be the perfect example of where practice makes perfect.

It's bowling, dog. That's it. That's it. As a dad, they've got they've they've changed things for this new generation. And my kid came home saying practice makes better. And I was like, oh, we don't say that sportsman participation award. Okay, I'm not going to lie, dude. I like that.

But it doesn't sound good. And these things have to sound good just because of the alliteration. PP. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I hear that. I do hear that. And I think you should live your life by alliteration. Someone had a different one that it was a it was better.

It was the same sentiment as better, but it was like practice makes. I'll come back. I'll circle back. Potential winners. Yes. Practice makes potential winners. Okay, we'll put that on the board. That has potential.

That has potential as a winner. But obviously it's not. It doesn't mean you're going to get perfect. It means like you will your practice is striving for perfection. You're marching towards it. So I guess when you're practicing at a young age, we practice a lot, right? If we're saying practice is jerking off.

Is that what it is in this case? Is that what we're saying? Are we saying practice means jerking off? Because practice, you could practice anything. I think if you're saying practice means jerking off, then you're just like, I got to go practice. Well, okay. Well, that brings up a point.

Okay. So it's because like, I guess like when you're having sex with someone, is that a scrimmage? Is that a practice? If it's not your wife, like, are you practicing? Like, what are we practicing to get to? I see what you're saying, Blake. The J-O is the practice and the game is the sex.

I think that's the scrimmage. And then when you're finally having sex with your wife, that is the game. Like once you get married on your wedding night, that's game. You've been training your whole life to have sex with your eternal partner as well as you can. You just want to pleasure them. I mean, the more you practice on one other person,

the better it's going to get. It's true. No, I feel like there are... We're very close. We're very close. We're very close. There are partners that you have at some point in your life where you know neither...

You know that you're not going to... This isn't going much far. You're a booty call. Right. You know, it's not going to go much farther than that. And you both know, hey, I'm practicing on you. You're practicing on me. We're both getting better at this thing called sex.

Right. True. There's always that cool relationship where like your guys are just like, yo, let's just check some stuff off the list. Like let's do some things together that maybe... Is it legal? We haven't done before.

Maybe it's illegal some places. Not here. Not here. Not in this state. What state are we in? Yeah, no, but I think like... When you get those things out of the way, that way when you're finally with a person

who you really love or you want to impress, you don't look like some weird rookie fumbling around with handcuffs or a gimp mask or whatever. What? Wait, what are you at, too, Blake? If for one moment you look like you've never either put a gimp mask on someone or wore one yourself, you're immediately laughing.

I know how to strap a ball gag on because I've done it before. I've practiced. If you can strap a ball gag on with one hand, people know this guy can fuck. And maybe make you disappear. I don't know. I don't know. This isn't exactly where I thought this was going to go, but...

What are you practicing? If you practice, I guarantee you could get a ball gag on your face with one hand. I bet, I bet, yeah. And that's perfection. I've never practiced that. Dang. Well, I mean, dude, oh, that made me think of that.

Remember that really cool YouTube video of that girl who was really awesome at Suck a Dick? She was like... Wait, what? The girl was like... YouTube video about it? Yeah, she would make this noise. And then they spoofed it in Girl's Trip, kind of.

They just was going to work on... What was she? She was sucking on something. I think it was a dildo. Tiffany Haddish in that movie? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that was like... They just did that.

I can't remember what it was. But that's the other thing. There's techniques that require... Some practice. Yeah, some time to really... You know, you got to learn how to... Definitely in the bedroom, you do need practice. This does make a lot of sense

because nobody rolled up to their first time having sex and was like, I'm perfect at this. I don't know. These kids these days. These TikTok generation. No, because the sensation is unlike anything that you could practice. I don't know.

I mean, I'm just speaking for myself. I was so bad. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship

between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or, can we create new senses for humans? Or, what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain

steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The pleasure is ours. Feel it. That is nice when you're having sex with a condom. Yeah, the older I get, the less feeling I have in my penis

and I just need the thinnest condom possible. You have less feeling. Yeah. Yeah, you because you jerk off with sandpaper. Yeah, it's just getting numb down there. Yeah, I get that. Here's some good news. Raw is 10% thinner than bearskin original.

Get the freaking heck out of here. Wow, really? That's a big percentage. It helps you kind of enjoy a more natural experience and feel it all, which is what I mess with. It's soaky, smooth, lubricant to increase comfort and sensitivities. Yeah, man.

When I put a condom on my wiener, I want to forget that I'm wearing a condom on my wiener. You know what I mean? I agree, man. But also, no. But also, no. But also, no. Also, you feel safer.

But also, no, K-N-O-W. I want to feel safer and I want to forget I'm wearing it. That is absolutely right. Like a comfortable seatbelt. I got you. As always, Trojan is triple tested and trusted for how many years, boys? Over 100.

Over 100. That's a century. Over 100. Release the bear. That's good. It's not a bear skin rug. It's a bear skin raw. Guys, and I realize when you hear the word bear,

you think naked, but we're really thinking about the forest animal. Release your inner bear. When you got that bear skin on, you're coming to the plate like an animal. Adam's a bear cub. We all know that. We love that.

That certainly is. Rawr. Get grisly with it. Rawr. Oh. Bitch better have my honey. Feel your best? Get yours on.

Let's talk about our first times having sex. No. Sure. Seven years old. Sure. It started off, brother. I was 17, I want to say. And so was she.

And we were, it was immediately following a Blink 182 concert. Okay. Nice. We were staying at a hotel. So yeah. So then I put on just totally, not even thinking, I put on all the small things by Blink 182.

Sure. Because we just went to the concert. And then as I'm having sex for the very first time, I realized that it's all the small things. And you're a young dude. So you don't even know like, is my dick big? Is it small? I don't really know where I'm landing.

No clue. Right. And then so I go more like all the medium things, right? Like as I'm inserting, and she goes, what? You said that joke, right? Yeah. When you were losing your virginity. Yes.

And then she's like, what? And I'm like, because the song, and she goes, okay. And then I already kept calm. And then I had already come. You came to your own joke. It was in the midst of having a joke fall flat. More like all the medium things. Oh, Adam's standup used to climax every time at an open mic.

And that's why I had to keep doing standup because practice makes it perfect. You know, boom, boom. Now I finally don't jizz during a set. Thank goodness, dude. It was getting really disturbing. I ruined a lot of lucky brand jeans early on in my career. Well, that's the thing though.

But were you like trying to prep yourself before you actually lost your virginity? Like were you jerking off with a purpose and intention that like you wanted to last long? Or like, did you guys ever do it to where you was like, kind of bring yourself to the edge and then like pull it back down again? As a, well, as a teenager?

Sure. That wasn't before losing my virginity. That was after I found out I needed some of this trojan delay spray. But yeah, you would try and, you know, whatever. Stop yourself. Which is like, what the fuck is that? What is that? I felt like I built it up a lot in my head

and I'm like, I want my first time out the gate. I want to be like pretty good. But it just never, there's nothing like the real thing. Yeah, I feel like it's, you're going to fumble the ball no matter what your first time or, or you're too nervous that you can't come. And then, and then the girl's like, are you? Do you hate me?

An animal? I love you. Right, right. No, I mean, that doesn't happen, right? Everyone just comes way too soon. Yeah, that's not, that's not even in my thought process at that time. But the cool thing about like, all right. So let's see, you meet this girl and then you're dating.

You get in that zone where it's like, oh, we're doing this all the time. We can practice together as opposed to like new partner, new, new thing that they're into, new way they feel. So that's the good way to practice is to just be like, we're in this together. That's what I'm saying. The more you practice with one person, the better it does get. That is right. Practice makes better.

Yeah. And that was my move, especially also, I remember thinking like the first time I had sex and then she allowed me to have sex with her again. Like how mind-blowing that was that it was like, oh, now I'm just going to be a person that has sex now. Right. Like now it'll continue to happen. I'm just picturing you walking through the halls of school like, I'm fucking now. What's up, dude?

Me? I'm just fucking from time to time. What was I doing this weekend? I'm fucking now, guys. Hey, next weekend, I'm going to be fucking, I think. The official soundtrack. Meanwhile, she's walking down the halls like this. Don't tell anyone I had sex.

Please don't tell anyone I had sex. Please don't. It's over. It's over if you say anything. Yeah, no, I definitely walked down in my friend's basement after it had happened, like the next day or whatever. And then we got back home, went to my friend's house. Everyone's hanging out in his basement, shooting pool or whatever.

And I go downstairs and everyone looked at me and they could tell. They were like, what's up, dude? Oh, you had a glow. I think I was glowing. I was like, I like floated down the stairs. How did you guys know? Hey, can I tell you something? You think you had this air about yourself?

They all had cups up to the door and we're listening to the entire thing. Because that's high school and you're like, what do you say there? Yeah, they're like, bro, that was so funny. You said all the medium things. We're just playing pool down here. What were you doing? Well, no, they weren't even, those guys weren't even at the concerted. So not see, not true.

Well, you also said you were at the hotel, right? I was at a hotel. You got a hotel when you were 17? Yeah, dude. I had an older friend. With a credit card? She got the hotel. Oh, so she was like encouraging this.

That's pretty cool of her. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah, man. She's rad. She was on the team. No big deal. We also got in trouble because we tried to grill using a charcoal grill in the parking lot.

And they're like of the hotel and they're like, what the fuck? And you can't do this right here. You tailgated your virginity. We tried a tailgate. Oh my God. Free game. Yeah, we're just in the parking lot, drinking beers and then yeah, I'm just gonna go. I don't do the damn thing, man.

Well, hey guys, I told my story outcome. There's no that no one is throwing up their story. I'm the only one with the cool story here. I think so. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I gave enough of an insight into mine that I was not more than 30 seconds. It was not even with a condom on it was like, oh, and I'm done. I will say it was a Trojan.

Yeah, there we go. I'll say that mine was too. And I remember it. Mine was like a thin, I don't know, whatever it was like whatever thin version they had. In the bear skin or whatever. Yeah, whatever it was. And they've been around for 100 years since the beginning of civilization. I remember thinking I'm going to have to recalibrate what kind of condoms I have

because I bought I bought like a ton of condoms before. I was like, okay, I need to have the right condom. And then I brought like a variety pack was like bear skin. Yep. So it'll feel them. So I know what it feels like. And then immediately was like, I need a tarp. I need a thick tarp that I could strap around my dick.

So I don't feel anything so I can continue. But now they got this delay spray. So I would have been good to go. Doused. Must be nice. I feel like when I lost my virginity, I recall music as well. I had one of those, you know, those CD players that had like 50 CDs that could interchange. Like it had the rotating CD.

Oh, yeah. A carousel, I believe is what it's called. Yeah, I definitely put that on random like, oh, I've got 50 CDs in here. We got all night, baby. Not a good idea. What, did weird alcohol or something? Just dare to be stupid came on. And then that's when I bust it.

Oh, you and I have similar stories. It's the laughcum on it. It's the laughcum. Yes, our virginity was a big joke. Yeah, a big joke. And that's why we're still in comedy to this day. Comedy. Hey, it's in our blood.

I was hooked. Dare to be stupid. So what, I guess when you're talking about sex and where you're striving towards perfection, what is perfection as far as a male having sex? Well, I think it has to be you both orgasm, which by the way, does take decades of practice. That is true. This is true.

Before you can crack that nut. And when you do, it is good, baby. Yeah, yeah, baby. I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, I don't even have to come. You know what I mean? I'm like, tonight's not my night. Okay.

Is that real? I don't know. He's a giver. No, no, no. I wish it wasn't. No. I mean, did you even know perfection when you're in it? Or is it something that you look back at the end of your life and you're like,

the one that sticks out, you're like, that was it? That was it. Yeah. I think like while you're in it, you're thinking like, wow, we're both doing a great job here. Right. But then cut to 10 years later and you're like, you think back on it. And the one that you have in your spank bank that rises to the top, you're like, that was perfection.

I had no idea I was even in perfection. I'll never forget that guy. Yeah. That was my Michael Jordan flu game. That was my COVID-81. 81. Yo, you should see this guy fuck on the flu. So you, so in that version, you were really, you were really, really sick.

And I fought through it and I still gave a hell of a show. Right. That's the one he remembers 10 years later, I guess. You were having like fever dreams. Yeah. I just think it's cool when, for me, sexual perfection is when you defy all the odds you'd never give up and you still get there. You know what I mean?

It's like the odds are starting to get to you. Yeah. Well, also, also, hey, sometimes you got to give up, you got to give up. Sometimes you got to know when to, when to just let everybody go to bed. Yeah. Leave them alone. Yeah. We've been at this for, yeah.

This ain't happening. I think we're not working. I'm going to sleep out there. Yeah. We'll try and get in the morning. Okay. I'm going to go in the room and, uh, in practice real quick. And I promise I'll come back for a better, we'll talk in the next game.

We're talking practice. Practice makes perfect. So what, I mean, is it just that practice makes better? Is your, is your son's elementary school teacher right? Well, because what we're talking about is like, are we talking about reaching perfection or getting better or something? Like what's, what's even being, what's better? Or is it just like,

Well, I don't think that as far as like, happiness, I mean, sex goes, if that's, if that's what we're talking about, which I think it is, there's no such thing as perfection. Like it's, I think, no, I think there is, there is, there is perfection. There is perfection. But every person has their own bar. So here it is, practice is pointless. Yeah.

That was being genuine. What are you talking about? Practice is pointless. Get a real sex doll. Yeah. This episode was brought to you by Trojan, America's number one kind of brand. You can get any of Trojan's products that were featured in this episode, like bare skin raw, ultra fit, ultra thin and delay spray online or at any major retailer.

Do your best, get yours on. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception and your reality.

Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.