This Is Important - We're On Strike So Here Is The Best Of Episodes 16-20

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

The best of This Is Important from episodes 16 through 20. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered

a terrible secret. I saw it in a folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Signed Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we only talk about what is

most obviously very crucially important. Let's go. Hey, guys, let's go. Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Should we go? Should we go? Should we perform? Let's go. And I'm serious when I say this. Let's go to church. Should we do wizards at a church? Let's go. I'm a wizard bitch. You can't defeat me. My folks are listening to the pot too, and me and my dad were like, we were looking at houses like the other weekend because I'm moving and he was like, I was like, Dad, what do you think about the workshop out here? Like, because one of them's got a sick workshop. And he was like, I'll tell you what, that gets, I think it's my pecker hard. And I was like, Dad, what? What? He said, he said, sorry, I've been listening to your podcast too much. Okay, but by the way, we've never said that on

the podcast. So I think you're that's his addition. So now we got to start saying pecker a lot, which is fucking dope. Okey dokey. I like that. Nice. Should we start? Yeah, let's start saying pecker. That gets my pecker hard. Peckers are important. For some reason, pecker sounds really nasty to me. I don't know, pecker is a weird ass word for a ding dong. Yeah, for a shawing. It's like a real decision to be thrown around pecker. Those quads, those butt cheeks, those hammies, they were burning, they were feeling it. You had some sweat trickling down some crevasses. Paint the picture. I love that part. I got I got sweatier than I then I thought I would. I will say that the butt crack was sweaty. I got wood now. Hello. Dude, I'm fitness inspo on Instagram.

That's my new thing. Yeah, I have noticed you're you're leaning into I'm leaning into that. Yeah, I'm kind of going to be basically poor man's The Rock. Right. You're stepping into the playbook. Yeah, I'm going to be a lot of like how to work out. I don't have a sick gym. I actually have a pretty wack ass garage that I work out in. And that's that's sort of my life. So if you're sick of The Rock and his dope ass gym, and him like saying, I don't got time to bleed and all kinds of cool catchphrases. And if you're sick of that, come over to me. I have minimal catchphrases. I don't really know what I'm doing. And I'm just copying other people's workouts that I find online. Oh, I would have beat the shit out of that lady. There you go. Say if you said, rip it up. And she

said, come get me. Come get it. Rip this up. Rip this up. Yeah, I dare you to rip this up. Wait, so I have to fuck her. No, you have to fight her, bro. Is that how you describe? Is that sex to you ripping something up ripping in the Terran? They ripping in the Terran. Do we have that sound bite? It's coming. That that will be next week. It's on the docket. What is the ripping in the Terran from? I just like I'm like drawing a blank. What is that? The ripping in the Terran is from one of the greatest internet videos. Oh, hedonism. Hedonism 2 of like the old guy in like a G string or something. Speedo. Yeah. Speedo. Yeah. He's in good shape. He's in good shape. He was in pretty good shape, but he was just like talking about how he's so excited for

hedonism 2 and then goes, the ripping in the Terran, the ripping in the Terran and is like humping the air. Yeah, he had moves too. The best. The best. Gold. I'm here for the ripping in the Terran. There are certain hip gyrations that he was doing that you're like, oh, this guy knows what he's doing. He's went into a classic figure eight, seesaw manoeuvres. Can I tell you guys something that didn't get my pecker heart? Sure. Yeah, sure. I would love to hear. This is the opposite of a hard pecker. I guess it would if I, you know, was a fucking murderer, dude, because I almost murdered a man. What? Yep. I almost murdered a man. Every other week with you. Yeah, you've got a tood prob. Yeah, what's going on? No, this is not about my tood. This has nothing

to do with my tood. I just think I'm drunk again. My voice drunk again. Oh man. Hey, can I just say I wish I was more drunk last week. You were drunk enough. No, no, that's the thing. I wasn't. That was one of my third drink. Listen, no one's saying you didn't drink a lot. You were drunk enough. Well, no, it should have been for as much flak flak as much fucking aflac I got. I deserved to be more drunk. I wish I was like six. I wish I was double the amount of drinks deep. That made my pecker grow or whatever. Oh, yeah, pecker. That made my pecker heart. I was thinking about that. My dad definitely is the guy who said bazoombas when we were making workaholics. He's like, she's got some great bazoombas. And that's a name for a woman's

breast, correct? Yeah. Yeah, that's what he thought. It's almost more sexist to say bazoombas, I feel. I feel like it's and I know he didn't mean it that way. But no, no, he's very innocent, gentlemen. Hindsight 2020. You say bazoombas. It's almost more grotesque than saying breasts. Yes, Adam. 100%. What are you? Breast is the term the doctor uses. Yes. No one is like, ah, look at that woman's breasts. No, no, no, no. Doctors say whambleys. No, it's like, ma'am magic, you're left whambley for a lump. Yeah. Well, I know one thing. If this is the Thanksgiving episode, I'm getting the turkey bazoombas on my plate, baby. Give them. Oh, dang, turkey bazoombas. Blake, where'd you hike? I can't really remember somewhere in Northern

California. It was golden and beautiful. Oh, you're up north. Yes. Yes, I'm in my mother's guest room right now. Terrific country up there. Yeah, it's really nice. And what is that artwork over your shoulder? What is that? It looks like some sort of a dock on maybe a lake of sorts. I love mom artwork. My mom has so many goddamn signs in her house. She's letting you know she's near a lake. It's lake life, eat, drink, lake. Steve, my mother is nowhere near a lake, but she represents it on the wall. Hey, I feel like if you're a mom, you got to represent either a lake life or mention that you like wine in a sign. Can we move the frames a little to the left, your right? It's really hugging that window. Yeah. Yeah, there we go. Hey, guys,

I'm not a cinematographer, okay? It's a joke on cinematographer. That is. You're a spicy photographer, that's for sure. Welcome to This Is Important, though, where you get those jokes. I actually went recently on like the Yelp reviews for like the hedonism place and pretty good. They kind of got shitted on, dude. Oh, really? It seems like a clean, like five-star island. Yeah, it seems like a beautiful resort. No, people that don't know, hedonism is like a swingers festival or something? I think it's an island. No, I think it's a resort, swingers resort. Oh, it is a full-on resort that you could just go to at any time. There's not like a big event. I'm sure there's many events, but okay.

Yeah, it's a Jamaican, it's like a, yeah, a little beach hotel where you go and they have like a nude pool and a not-nude pool. Well, the thing is, the bummer about that stuff is on paper, you're like, oh, that sounds really cool because in your imagination, you're thinking it's like Dan Bolzerian's crew of just like hard-bodied. Or just Dan Bolzerian, you're like. Just Dan Bolzerian, just butt naked, glistened up. Dream. That gorilla booty. Oh, yeah, just that high and tight. And you're thinking a bunch of Dan Bolzerians and a few random chicks, but that's not who's there. That's not who's there. No, no, no, no, no. It is. It's old guys talking about ripping and tearing. Yeah, it's guys that are like way too, they all like are

too into like drawing dragons and shit. And like for sure, for sure, like also collect swords. Can you beat two end of drawing dragons, Adam? There does come a point. What's really wrong with that? No, no, no, no. I'm just saying it's a specific type of person that I feel like if you draw like fantastical women, like if you draw like hot babes on dragons, you also want to go to hedonism too for the ripping and the tearing. It makes sense. That does, I understand that parallel so well, dude. Yeah, that actually adds up for me a lot. For sure. Dragon energy. Right. Yeah, if you have like a knife in a leather satchel that you've fastened, that you carry around with you, that you've made the own leather satchel for your knife, and maybe you even forged your own

blade, you might go to hedonism. You might go to hedonism. Can we hear some of these Yelp reviews? I mean, not like verbatim, but like what was the, what was the downfall like just the crowd or like they shitting on the food? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, the food, all the chicken tenders. The food was shadowpond. Oh, okay. That's a bummer. Basically, I just don't think, it probably used to go off pretty hard and pretty cool. There's no doubt in my mind. In the 90s, but they haven't updated the rooms like people are saying. I like all your references are the 90s were really the peak of all existence in Blake's mind. Yeah. Anytime he talks about something being the best, he's like, dude, in the 90s? Well, I mean, we're talking about hedonism. It was probably cracking off in the,

it might have been 2000. But we're talking about hedonism too, right? We're talking about too. There's, there was another hedonism that was just in some guy's pool. Is that what it was? Yeah, it was just pool in New Jersey, in New Jersey. I don't think they did much of a makeover from one to two, like all the rooms, they kind of just put the, changed the sign, like flipped it down like a calendar day. It went from one to two. So the accommodations are just dated is what you're saying? Yeah. They said there were like cigarette burns on the sheets. Is that bad? Look, if you go to hedonism too, you got to know what you're getting into. There's going to be some holes in some sheets. Yeah. Well, that's like, that's like a party island. You know, it's like people are

just out there. They're not taking care of it because you're just getting wasted and fucking, right? I mean, that's all you're doing. Well, basically what the, like most Yelpers, the Yelpers who were there were people who were swingers and they were basically saying there's much better options than hedonism. Oh, there's other options. Yeah. Yeah. Like hot shit. Oh, you know, there's plenty of, what's that? No, no. What's the new? No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. There's got to be other options than hedonism. For sure. There's, there's layers and levels to that shit. Hedonism three. Thank you. Hedonism three on the banks of Mekanos. Oh, shit. Are we hitting that trifecta? Dang, the third hedonism. That's something we should franchise. Yeah. And you

know, we would put a Keynes in the hedonism three. Why does you pull up? Goes without saying. You get your chicken tenders. You get your Texas toast. Uh-huh. And then you don't get too greasy. Well, or you do. Maybe that's what you would grease up with. Who knows? I'm trying to lick that cane sauce off some nipples. Let's go. I'm kind of a nasty dude. I like Forno as much as the next guy. I just don't want to watch so much of it that then you're like, I, can you just shit on my chest? This is the only way I can ejaculate now. Yeah. Like, what the hell is going on? How did that happen? How are we almost 40? 40 is the next milestone. Well, I think we just didn't die. We just kept, kept living. And Anders is the oldest person I know, so the floor is his. Yes, true.

Tell us what it's like. 39 years, you know. Dude, what's it like? I have, I have one gray cube, like dead center. That's really nice. It's just announced itself. That gets my pecker hard. If you're lucky at this age, Jesus. I've been eating pasta and pizza, like every night, because the, the restaurant here at the hotel is Italian. And I'm like, great. And the first two nights, I'm like, delicious. And now I'm, I'm just a walking bread stick. That's my boy. That's awesome. That's how we like you though. We like you with a little, little more meat. I like them when those Durr's titties are popping. Yeah, that's bomb. Your body settles well. I do feel that Anders weight, like my weight goes to my, I get chin fat, I get a fat head.

Right. And then secondly, like I just, my dunker just bottoms out. Yeah. I get a Trump bod. Thank God. But Durzi, it goes straight to his titties, dude. Yeah. How do you channel it there? Yeah. The first stop is the tit stop or bazoombas. Your father would say the tit stop. But I like your wordplay. I thought the tit stop was really great. That's fantastic. The tit stop. Yeah. The first stop is the tit stop for Durzi. Yeah. Yeah. It's the tits and then it's, it's the love handles. It's just that, you know, legs, they find the face can go a little, the neck. Yeah. The old spare tire and you got the old spare tire. I do feel like it is a four week cleanup job, where if I'm like, you know what, if I eat well for four weeks, it looks okay. And then that just

never happens. Four. Yeah. Sure. Cleanup. Yeah. Four week cleanup job. Yeah. I could do it right now. We're following along with that. What do you mean? Well, I haven't started it. I haven't done it. But we know it's a four week cleanup job. It's a four week cleanup job. We know you're going to hit it harder than anybody else because it's all about the hardest worker in the building. I never said I was going to start it. I just said that's what it is. If I decide to do it, that's what it is. I'm not, I'm not saying I'm going to do it. This is what I like to say I do, and then I don't actually do this. But I like to say that I stay six weeks either direction. From death or from absolute health? From death or a human being. Okay. Right. Like six weeks,

I can be like, in a like a romantic calm, that seems to be what I've been doing lately. So like, in six weeks, I could lose the chin fat, I could tighten up my dunker will shrink a little bit, it'll squeeze in some regular sized pants. And I could be in a romantic comedy, or hey, I'm a funny fat friend, and I'll just let it droop, get droopy six weeks, eating the pies, eating the cheesecakes, having the drinks. Yeah, baby. Which that's the life, isn't it? Yeah, baby. You steal the scenes, you're like the rude guy, did he just say that? Yeah, I like that. Yeah, no, no, he didn't. Well, he's kind of fat, so it's okay. Yeah, I'm trying to give fitness inspo to the people. Sick. Ders, what are you trying to do?

You're just still being a basic ass, regular actor in TV and movies. Whack. Yeah, come on. What's your 2021 vibe? I'm a non alcohol. Yeah, I got nothing. Whack. Fucking diversify, man. We already have a podcast. We're already branching out. That's it. I'm podcasting now, I'm branching out. Podcasters. You're podcasters. Yeah. I'm a recovering alcoholic. Adam is a fitness inspo guy. Guru. I'm a fitness guru who says still an alcoholic.

I'm not an alcoholic. The emptiness in your laugh was pretty cool. Fitness guru is still an alcoholic. Pause. I worked at the Hollywood Improv Comedy Club, it's a cool comedy club, and they gave me all these free glasses, and I'm giving them out to everyone, and the reason that they gave them away is because there was lead in the paint, and they could poison you. That's right. They could poison you. Whoopsies.

Good looking out. Yeah, and I just was really hooking everyone up, and the three of us. We had shelves of that. Oh yeah, we drank out of those glasses for many years. For years. If you guys have been following me on the gram, I am a fitness influencer. Always. I love your shit. Yeah, thank you, and I'm influencing big time right now,

and I'm just trying to get out there and really fucking bring it, and also I noticed that I've been- Sorry, I don't mean to laugh at you. It's okay, and I've been adding to my collection of fat on my neck and my body, so I think that was post Thanksgiving, where I went a little- I went ham on the ham, and I've added to my collection of fats, so I'm trying to take that off, but while from taking that off, I have to really double and triple down on my caffeine in order to get the energy

to go out there and truly bring it in the streets with my cycling and with my cross-fitting. Okay, so right now you're influencing people to get fit? Yeah, overall fitness lifestyle, but see the thing is Blake, it can't just be all fitness, because I follow a lot of fit people on the Instagrams, the Jeremy Scott fitnesses, the Ryan Fishers, those guys. Get them out, get them out. They're beef cakes, and these guys live and breathe fitness. That's not me.

Good, good. That's not the people that I'm influencing. I want people that are like, yeah, I like working out. I like curbing the chin fat, but I also like beers and bratwurst and cheeseburgers. And caffeine. Well, yeah, I thought the other day you fucking nailed it. Like, I was like, oh, this is the influencer. This is the fitness influencer that I'm following.

Is the guy who's out there in the streets. Yep, peddling, cycling. Because you went a little hard on the burgers and the beers. Yeah, I had a big weekend. I thought that angle, this is just a little thought from me. I thought that angle was very good, very universal. And I feel like it's something you should run with, bro, because you're not going to. I don't run.

I have bad news. Well, you should go with, but you're not going to be those influencers that just have like a ton of fucking no body fat, you know, they're just like muscle. You're not your comedy guy first and foremost. So play to your strength, playboy. Maybe, or maybe they're just having really hot sex with other super hot people. Not sure exactly. And I'll never get there.

I just don't think that my body, I'm not willing to not eat a cheeseburger or not have some french fries or not eat the pizzas. You got to live. You know, I think that's exactly the type of guy that I want to follow. But I do work out every goddamn day like a fucking lunatic out there in my bangerang garage, where I'm out there throwing medicine balls around, whipping the battle ropes up and down, doing the pull-ups, swinging the kettlebells. That's sick.

I want to applaud anybody in this quarantine who has gotten fit, stayed fit. Just good for you guys staying dedicated to the craft. Yeah. It is a, I wouldn't say disappointing, but it's like when you see someone that is lost a ton of weight and you're like, oh, and everybody's like, oh my God, how'd you do it? You're so great. But then I'm at a point that like my body won't lose a ton of weight. It's basically, I can lose like 10 pounds maybe.

It would be the max that I can lose. And it is frustrating when you get down to those last 10 pounds and you're like, well, I wish I could just take out these stupid fucking 10 pounds, but it won't go. And it is frustrating. And people send me that workaholics gif of me when I'm gripping my fat and I'm going, stupid fat. I hate myself. I hate myself in my body as I'm like smiling through.

And I'm like, oh, that's a, there's a reason we wrote that show, you know? Do you want to unpack that? Like where your body dysmorphia spawns from? Or, yeah, let's go deep. I don't think I'm that morphed. I think I'm the right amount of. Dysmorphed. Yeah.

I don't think, I think I'm the right amount of chubby, you know? I think you're perfect. Thank you, Blake. Well, I don't even think you're, I don't even think you're chubby. Yeah, I think you're, you're not fat at all. Actually. Fitness. Yeah.

I think you're right in the wheelhouse of a very physically fit human. Yeah. God damn it, guys. And this is why we cut Dersloos. Get the negativity out of here. Yeah, let's get down to real shit, man. And the three of us will ground and pound some compliments out on each other. This is why we lived together and he did not live with us.

This is what it was like at night. Yep, that's right. Power of the, the, the positivity triangle. Right. We're all about building. Yeah. Yeah, building. And you know what, the house was weaker when we added that fourth corner.

I agree. Yeah. The triangle is the strongest, uh. Structural shape. Structural shape. Yes. Yes. As it goes back to the ancient Egyptians, I believe it does.

Pyramids, it is. They knew what they were doing. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities.

Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal.

Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I gotta get out of the house. He's gonna find out that I've seen this, he's gonna come kill me.

Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me, because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel.

Listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds, and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story with the creatives,

the cast, and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way. Listen to Queen Charlotte the official podcast Thursdays on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. Why don't we just have Kyle's dad come in to the booth and be like, that gets my pecker hard. Oh, he said it hell of like, dude, he said it like hell of soft, like he wasn't supposed to be saying it. So it was a really great read.

I don't like this interaction with your dad. It's getting weirder and weirder with the details. No, it was cool. My dad's just not the guy to say that stuff really, you know. But he said it softly, like he's like, that gets my pecker hard. That gets my pecker hard. He's like, it's like construction talk that he doesn't really say around the house. And then all of a sudden he's like, I'm saying like this, I'm going to say this.

He's back on the site. Yeah, exactly. Well, what's cool is he didn't really say that when we were doing workaholics, which are we that much more like grotesque on the podcast? Well, he's looking at the house, he says. No, he's loosened up more. You know what I mean? He's like, okay, okay.

It took a decade of listening to us via different mediums to come around to releasing the hard pecker. This is a guy that back in the day used to ground me for making rap albums with curse words in it. He was like my first censor. Wait, rap albums that you made? Yeah, yeah, that I made. He would make, well, they would find like, Blake and I had a recording studio in my garage and Blake and I would make these cool like raps.

Oh, that was a Czechoslovakian raps, correct? Yeah, we were just like Czechoslovakians that were rapping. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself. Yeah, and we were cursing. We were just like, yeah, mic check. We were just like word play and cursing. Would you do the listeners a favor? Kyle, I know I'd get their peckers hard.

All the salad eaters out there. Yeah, what's up? The arugaloids. Arugaloids. Peckers would get hard if you and Blake would maybe, with using your memory, we're not cutting to it. I want to hear a verse of the Czechoslovakian rap group that you guys had. Set it off. The hook was like, I was like deep voice.

And then name and title, what's the name of the group? What's your MC name? My MC name was Gary Beats. And I was Brother Diamond. And we were in Sugar in the Raw. Yes, Sugar in the Raw. Which is from the raw sugar, but all right, kick it off. Here we go.

Boom, bam, goddamn. Here come the Czechoslovakians. You know what I mean? That was a hook. But then the stupid hook. That's a fucking fruity Pebbles commercial rap. Well, look, we're not pro rappers. Like these were joke raps, but we were like,

Guy, the Rougaloids deserve better, bud. Come on, man. I'll set you up again. All the salad eaters out there. How the hell am I supposed to remember bars from 2002? Come on, you know you know them all. You know you know them all. Come on, listen.

Bam, hot, damn. Here come the Czechoslovakians. Oh, and then it kept going. We pour, so we rocked the mic with pots and pans. And we just crossed that line, that drawn in the sand. Okey dokey. You're poor, so you rocked the mic with pots and pans? That one didn't really make sense.

But don't you realize that rocking the mic with more than just your voice costs more? No, it was like the beats. We rocked the mic with pots and pans in the background. Like we don't have beats. We're just like banging on pots and pans. That's where the beat box came from. But also the logic of that.

Like you don't rock the mic with a beat. You know, your beat isn't rocking the mic. Hey guys, I don't want to dissect this. I personally, Kyle, I'm a big fan, dude. I love, I love what you're doing. I love the Aruguloids. Well, this, we were like stealing beats off of Kazaa

and stuff and like just stealing like lots of beats. Hey Kyle, Kyle, in the words of your dad. Hey son, that gets my pecker hard. Okay, but I'm fucking with you. I don't have a memory of Adam's fully erect penis. I was fucking with you. I'll be fully candid right now. I don't think Kyle has ever seen me fully erect.

But what I'm saying about this podcast, what's great about it is we're recording it around Thanksgiving time. Right before Thanksgiving. Allegedly. Allegedly, where the Americans have Thanksgiving. And my mom and dad are currently in the other room hearing me scream.

Kyle sees me fully erect into a microphone. And then right in the other room going, okay, well, he says to be quiet. Yeah, no, I knew something was up about them. They were roommates for too long. I think it's cool that you guys were all watching TV together. I feel like that's like a lost family thing that like families just sit and watch one thing together.

Yeah, what sucks is my dad's like, son of a bitch. God damn it. Because he doesn't like streaming. He doesn't like not just being able to flip through the channels. Wow, he's a surfer. He's pissed every time you'd like go to grab the thing and like go to turn it. And then it would just come back to the main screen.

Right. Yeah. Where it's like, and he's like, ah, son of a bitch. Because he's pissed now. He's pissed now because he wants to watch all the, all the, you know, the fun commercials, the life commercials and all the fun things that we're missing out on.

Adam, were you the one who says flicking channels? Or is that Kyle? No, that's like flip off and flick off. I didn't flick off channels. Flipping. Somebody used to say flicking channels. And I was like, it's flipping. Yeah.

What are the shows that families watch? I mean, I watch sports with my family, but other than that, what is it? Like Masked Singer or something? Yeah, it used to be like American Idol. Yeah, we watched a Masked Singer and my dad, although he's the one that turned it on, he was like, never seen this show.

And I'm like, well, why are we watching it then? He goes, because it looks stupid as shit. And I'm like, okay, well, it seems like you wouldn't have turned it on if you hadn't watched it. And then he was like, guessing who it is. He's like really invested. I'm like, it seems like you watch it. He's like, I might have seen it a couple of times,

but it's dumb as hell. This part's good. Well, listen to this. Oh, this is good. Oh, I've got to see who the... Jenny McCarthy. Jenny McCarthy. Yeah, she gets it.

I just got to know who the cakehead is. I got to know who's the cake. I saw David Tell like a year and a half ago in New York at the comedy cellar. And I went up right before him and had a really good set and then got off and he comes out and I'm like, hey, Dave, Adam Devon, nice to meet you, man. And he goes, we know each other, right?

And I'm like, I actually used to work at the Hollywood Improv. You bought me and my friend that night. I was like, you bought me and my friends drinks, I think to make us leave you alone. And he's like, I thought you got... I thought you worked at the Improv. He was like, I knew you worked at a comedy club. Goes a long way.

And I'm like, that's cool. It's cool that people can remember shit like that because people come up to me and they're like, we went to eight years of school together. And I'm like, cool. We did? Yeah, we grew up together. Our moms are best friends.

I babysat you for 11 years. Not ringing any bells though. I officiated your wedding? That's just your style though, Adam. And that's when I go right on, boss. See ya, chief. Big dog. Big dog, big dog.

Oh yeah, big dog. Oh, that's right. My dad doesn't really swear either. And I remember one Christmas, a buddy of mine was over for like a Christmas party. And my dad just goes, yeah, you can't shit a shitter. And I was like, what? He goes, you can't bullshit a shitter.

And I was like, I don't know if I've ever heard you swear. It was so crazy that you started crying. It's that moment where it's like, all right, we're men now, we can talk like this. And it's like, I've been talking like this since... I love that it took your dad till you're damn near 40 years old. To come around on you being a man. I was probably 26 at the point.

But like still, 26 is your elder at that point. Yeah. Right. I don't know. My dad cussed all the time, especially if he was like putting together electronics. It was bad news. Putting together electronics.

Dude, like setting up the TV would just be like, God damn, motherfucker. Do you guys think Temecula, when you look at it on a map or whatever, it looks like Tarantula? I do. Every time. Actually, I swear to God, I always think that. I'm always like Tarantula.

Cool Tarantula. Never thought that. That's a sick ass fucking city. Remember when I saw Guarantee Bank in the Bay Area? And I looked at it and I don't know, I might not have ever seen the word Guarantee right now. This was a weird moment in our friendship. Yeah.

And I was like, dude, what the fuck kind of name is that? With Kyle and Blake. And I was up there for Thanksgiving. And I was like, dude. For the first time? No, I went like four years in a row or something. Yeah. But I don't know what year, but I was like.

You were a staple. I was like Guarantee. What the fuck is a Guarantee? And they're like, ha, ha, ha. And I'm like, kind of wouldn't let it go. And I'm like, what a bizarre name for a bank, a Guarantee. What is that, a fucking weird fruit like Guarantee? It was funny the first time.

Yeah. And then they're like, wait, you really not know what that word is? You had to kind of reel it back. Like, no, I'm messing with you. You know how funny I can be. Right. It is one of those moments where I'm like, damn, Adam's hell of a funny dude.

He's great at wordplay. Like he's like always entertaining and stuff. Yeah. But then he kept bringing up later and later into the night. Wait. Oh, you're dumbass. Right. You're dumbass.

OK. Oh, you can't read. This is also like when Adam came to LA, he tells a story about, I mean, I'll let him tell, but I think he's going to throw up on himself. When he's driving through West Hollywood, and he thinks he sees Amish people driving, and he's like, you're cheating. And oh, they're Orthodox Jewish people.

I swear to God, dude. It's so stupid. I can be so dumb. But I humble pie. I saw some Hasidic Jewish people, and they, if you don't know what Hasidic Jewish people look like, they kind of look like, if you don't know, Amish people. If you don't know what Amish people look like.

But I do know what Amish people look like, because I grew up in the Midwest. So you have experience with actual Amish people. I know what Amish people look like. That's why. I've seen Kingpin. I've seen Amish people. Well, I remember in my elementary school in Iowa,

there was the alleyway behind our school. You would hear clip, clop, clip, clop, clip, clop. And the Amish people would be taking their little wagons with horses behind there to go, I don't know, buy coal or something. I have no idea what they were doing. That's all they do is buy coal. Yeah, I have no idea.

Wood, coal. I don't know what they're doing. Yes. Some sustainable. Something. They had to buy something. And not chainsaws. That's for damn sure.

Long saws. They were probably trading. They're trading. So anyway, so I saw them and then I moved to LA and was like, see these Hasidic Jewish people and see them driving BMWs. I remember the neighborhood. I was in Highland Park and I leaned out my window

and I'm like, Jader, you're supposed to be in a horse and buggy. And I was like, with some girl and she was like, what? Hey, what are you doing? If you're ever on a date with a girl, just don't yell out the window at anything. That just seems like a red flag. That's like an interesting move on a date. She'll see that when a guy can be in charge.

It also seemed racist. It seemed racist. It still is. The alien Amish people and saying you're cheating is not like your job. It's not nice. That's very judgmental at the very least. Do you know what I mean?

It's incredibly judgmental. I just thought it was being funny. I thought I caught him. I thought I was like, look at you. I caught you. Do you remember when Blake and I were at the NBA All-Star Game? When I did that weird song and dance with Queen Latifah and Jamie Foxx and Kevin Hart for the NBA All-Star Game in LA

and then I came out, it was so weird. It was the weirdest. It was literally me, Queen Latifah, Jamie Foxx. Who else was there? Kevin Hart and two other, Ludacris. I shared a room with Ludacris and our green room was the same room and he was getting his hair cut and he's like, anything you want to listen to, Adam?

Wow. And then I go, oh, anything by word of mouth. Ready for him to be like, ha, ha, ha. And he goes, nah, man. And I'm like, okay, anything else. I don't think you're going to have a good conversation with Future either then. No, but I remember when me and Blake were at the game,

the slam dunk contest and Migos had just won like the Celebrity MVP and the Celebrity All-Star Game and he had the trophy. I believe Quavo, Quavo. Quavo. It was Quavo, yeah. Migos is three people. That's right, Quavo.

And I go, yo, so you won the trophy, huh? And he was holding it and he's like, yeah, man. And I'm like, where are you going to keep that trophy? Bad question. I'm just trying to spark up a cover. He's sitting right next to me and he's like, I don't know, man. And I go, are you going to put it like in your bathroom?

You know, people put trophies at their bathroom and he's like, right, goofy. Nah. And I'm like, oh, okay. So you got a shelf or something, like really trying to get a conversation going. And he goes, yeah, man, I got a shelf. That's cool.

All right. Okay. The cool thing, maybe he didn't even have a shelf. He was like, fuck, I don't know what to do. He's probably super high, just having a good time. I hope he was. I also kind of think he's probably really nervous to talk to Blake and me.

And he was like, oh, shit. Yeah, super starstruck. He was like, it's the guy with the hair. Yeah. He was like super starstruck by us. The guy with the hair, the short one that was just dancing with Queen Latifah. Uh-oh, nervous.

King, it's King Latifah. King Latifah. The name of the guy who, the guy who owns the company that cleans my pool is named Rich. So the other day I got a call in front of somebody and it just came up as Rich Pool Guy, Rich Pool Guy. They're like, oh, do you know Rich Person with the pool? It's a guy.

And I was like, his name is Rich. His company cleans my pool. Shout out to Rich. Shout out to Rich Pool Guy. Good job. Years of great service. Big shout out to Rich. Rich Pool Guy.

That's a good rap name. My dad, I remember, ruined a Sega. This is where I get it from. I remember he was putting, he was like, I got a Sega for Christmas. And he goes downstairs to put it together. And I'm like down there trying to help. And he's like, God, fucking, God, damn it, son of a...

And then he's like, get out of here. And I'm like, what? I'm trying to help. He's like, just go upstairs. And I'm like, okay. So I'm like, kind of standing at the top of the chair. Because I want to play as soon as it's plugged in. I'm trying to get my son.

He doesn't want to see his weakness. He doesn't want to see. And then I just hear him go, son of a bitch! And then crash. And I go down. And he had ripped it out of the wall. And all the cords were frayed. And he just snapped and yanked on it.

And it totally... Fucking thing sucks! The fucking thing sucks, exactly. And then he had to buy me a new Sega. Wait a second. We didn't have money to be buying two Sega's. You just plug it into a wall. Yeah, you plug it in and then plug it in

and plug the controller in. You had to... You remember you needed to have those three plugins, which are color coded and just put them in? No idea. No idea. I don't know. I'm like fucking seven years old or however old I was.

I think maybe your dad was playing at first for a half hour and was frustrated by the game. Yeah. He was like, go upstairs. And you were like... And he's like, fucking get the fuck out of here. Plant Sonic and shit. Some altered beast.

Yeah, that was a tough one. I wish that was the case. That's definitely not the case. He's video game challenged. He just couldn't line up the red, the yellow, and the white. You get them into the right thing. But you know what's tough? You had to do the input, get it on the right one.

And I think he had to reach around the TV. Remember how it used to not be on the front? So he had to climb around to the back. Right. I remember it being a weird angle, but I don't know. I have no idea how it happened. And I get there and they're like, hey, it's the Heart Radio Awards.

This is like five years ago. And we have to... You're strong. You have to look cool. What? I've had three Ashlands. Yeah, I'm feeling good, guys. No, I know.

You just said I'm at the Heart Radio Awards. No, yeah. Yeah, you're having trouble, bud. I like it. Hey, I'm coming for you. It's OK. I'm not having trouble. It's holiday season.

I'm succeeding right now. This is the holiday season. It ain't easy. No, it's cool. And I'm at the I Heart Radio Festival. And they were like, yo, we need this flat iron in your hair. You have to look cool for this. And I was like, yeah, flat iron.

I'm like, I guess. I don't know. And this woman convinced me to flat iron my hair. And she flat ironed it before I presented. And then so I look insane. I look different than I've ever looked in my entire life. I might as well throw on eyeliner and sing the Black Parade. You might as well?

Dude, MCR. That's a great phase. I pay for that. It was a great phase. And I was like way out of pocket. And then they were like, who do you want to introduce? And it was like between Jason Derulo. OK.

And like Lord. Like he's some Lord. And I was like, Lord. And then they were like, OK, you're introducing Lord. But I never saw anyone say that. I just saw it written. Heard. You never heard it.

Never heard Lord. Have we covered this on the podcast? And it said Lordy. And I said Lordy. Were you for real? Yeah. Oh, man. On stage, you said that?

No. Chloe caught me right beforehand. And I'm like, I'm introducing Lordy. And she's like, it's Lord. Oh, but you almost did it. So this is back to the guarantee thing. Yeah, they're telling us we have covered this. We have covered this.

He's drunk. But like he is drunk. This is back to the Guarantee. You're just like our dumbest friend. You know what I think I'm doing? I'm switching stories. Because Lordy, that was actually at like a Viacom marketing thing.

And I did say that. And it was a different band. It was a totally different band. And I'm going to find out. This dude is drunk. He just left his headphones. He left the room. Actually, I think he's going to throw up.

Next song, for sure. You want me to play next song. So you don't think Adam needs to hear it? No, it's over. OK. OK, so this is. This song always gets stuck in my fucking dome. OK, so you're aware of this.

This is a Post Malone. Circles. OK. This song is good. It's a good song. Sure. That's it. That's 15 seconds.

Yeah. You know, very early on in our fame, I feel like Post Malone reached out to me on Twitter. And I was kind of like, yeah, I don't know. I just. But I wish I could take that. In our fame or his fame? In his fame.

His fame. Right, yeah. He reached out like, what's up? Everybody used to hit me up and say like, you look exactly like Post Malone. You look like Post Malone. So I avoided his career for the longest fucking time. Why?

You're like, oh, I guess I'm hot as fuck, dude. That's what they're saying. I just don't like being compared to anybody else. But then like two years ago, two or three years ago, I fucking throw on some posty. And I was like, this dude is fucking good, man. Kyle, I have a serious question. Yeah.

Is your worst fear to be unoriginal? Oh, that's a great question. I do enjoy being original. Yeah, it's kind of a recurring theme. Yeah, weird for weird sake. That's not the question. I don't think that's my worst fear, but I do think you've hit a very truthful vein in my body.

When people were like, oh, you look like a fucking fat Post Malone, or you look like an ugly Post Malone. I was like, you know, first of all. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're way hotter. No, no, no, no. But you said that they were saying that you look like him. And now you said they were saying you look like a fat or ugly.

Yes. Hold up. Let me protect my guy right here. Thank you. You might be fatter, but you're way more handsome than Post Malone. Post Malone. No, I think he's hot.

No, Post Malone looks like he's, he's got, you know, when you put pantyhose on your face to go rob a bank? Sure. That motherfucker's got some play text over his face. His whole face looks like it's getting pulled back. That is actually so true. Yeah, that's a good burn.

I think Kyle's got that weird, he's got that weird hot. Like I see him with a beer and like a ciggy in his hand and I'm like, that fucking reminds me of me, dude. I really do want to meet this guy one day. Well, what's cool is like when Kyle looks at you with that one good eye, you really melt, you know? Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah. If there were two, it'd be a game over situation. Yeah, if there was two, it'd be lights out. Okay. So I just, can I finish the end of my story? Because I went and got, I finished another drink. What was this? What was the story?

The story was I, at the I Heart Radio, I said, I would. Oh, Lordy, Lordy, I'm over 40. It was Bastille. The band Bastille. Yeah. And I said, yeah, I'm about to introduce, it was like minutes before I'm in, it was in a basketball stadium. There's 20,000 people there.

It's also live to millions. And I was like, yeah, I'm about to introduce Bastille. Have we covered this? And Chloe was like, no, we covered the Lordy, Lordy. Dude, how did you get that wrong? How do you think it's Bastille? Yeah, isn't that a, I was about to sound just as dumb being like, isn't that a city in France?

It's a French word. He took German in high school. I got your back, dude. Okay. All right. I just took German. I didn't know. I didn't know.

All right. And also, also. Is your name Blakey? If I said Bastille, I'd be confident in the fact that I got that wrong in front of all those people. And that's, is how it is. And they had to come out to Bastille and my bad. I cannot criticize because we did those like video game

awards that one time. We kept calling Bethesda like. Every other word except for Bethesda is like Beth. We didn't know how to pronounce Bethesda, Bethesda. Do you remember when we introduced whatever that game was? And I said, it's like a something like Steve Spielberg and Albert Hitchcock. Yes.

I have that on video. But I meant to do that. Like that was my whole MO was to the fuck them up. But like. You're like Albert Hitchcock. And you slammed them. Steve King. Steve King and Albert Hitchcock.

We covered Bastille as well. I don't know. Yeah, I know it. I know it. We're repeating stories. Piss now. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart.

I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University. And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. So we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet?

So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret.

I scrolled down and that's when I saw a hidden folder and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I got to get out of the house. He's going to find out that I've seen this. He's going to come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app,

Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. If you're looking for someone to help you unpack Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story, you're in the right place. It's me, Gabby Collins. Come with me because on Queen Charlotte, the official podcast, we're stepping behind the scenes and the drawing boards of this team to experience the life breathed into the Bridgerton prequel. Listen to the leaps executive producer and series director Tom Verica

took to capture the feeling that's put that lump in your throat. And you've got to catch creator Shonda Rhimes. She's dropping gems, diamonds and mics. On this podcast, we're going beyond the basic line of questioning and getting to the heart of the show, all while appreciating the contributions of the show's creative teams and remarkable cast. Go inside each episode of Queen Charlotte a Bridgerton story with the creatives, the cast and creator Shonda Rhimes leading the way.

Listen to Queen Charlotte the official podcast, Thursdays on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts or anywhere you get your podcasts. I actually might start a spin off podcast where I'd watch every episode of I Love Lucy and I just chit chat about it. That's what the people want. Yeah, thank you. Lucille Ball. Guess what? I'm not pissed now.

Okay. What else did I know that that show was like groundbreaking, game changer, super hilarious, still holds up? What else did she have? I know she produced things, but did she star in other things? Like, did she ever cross? Lucille Ball? Yes. Lucille Ball. I don't know. I don't know if she did.

I don't know if she did anything else except for that show. Like, did she cross over into movies or like, did she have a podcast or, you know, that's actually really crazy. Yeah, if she doesn't have a podcast, was she even an entertainer? That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I mean, at this point. I'm sure Desi Arnez had a fucking radio show or something like that that she was on.

Desi Arnez was a major player. He bought RKO Studios after the Orson Welles era. Right, but wasn't she the business savvy one? Yeah, but I think it was a different time and Desi was kind of the guy making the deals. The puppet. Yeah. She had her fucking fist up his butt and was like talking with him. Yeah. You got some spending to do.

There we go. Can I just say I'm looking up some Lucille Ball right now. Yeah. She's for like, even though she looks, even when she's younger, she still looks like she's your grandmother just because that style and hairdo, but kind of a babe, babe grandmother, right? She was hot. Yeah.

Fucking crush on that. When I'd be home sick from school. Did you really? What's up with like black and white porn? Wait, you jerked off to Lucille Ball? Yeah, for sure. Ew. And Patty Duke?

Patty Duke on Nick at Night, for sure. Who's Patty Duke? Yeah, what the hell? Don't make the noise, dude. Patty Duke, the Patty Duke show. It was about twins, but it was played by one lady, Patty Duke. Okay, yeah, this woman's pretty for sure. My old time lady was Mary Tyler Moore.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was my, that was my speed. Come on. It's also weird because my mom would get that she looks like Mary Tyler Moore, kind of a lot, like when we're out and about. Yeah, that is weird. Yeah, but I wasn't like, jerk it off like this creep.

I was a child, I'm like eight years old and I'm going. Yeah, baby. And I'm going like, oh yeah, that woman's pretty, like my mom's pretty. I bet you'd take care of me and give me food. I bet you'd love and appreciate me. The way my mom does. I love Mary Tyler Moore. We got, let's get out of this one.

Whoa. Patty Duke is Sean Aston's mom and you look like Sean Aston. So what is going on there, dude? I do look like Sean Aston, but I don't know who Patty Duke is. I just looked her up. She's a pretty woman, but I'm talking about Mary. Patty Duke is Sean, wait, Adam, what Kyle's saying is that Patty Duke is Sean Aston's mom. You, you look like Sean Aston.

Uh-huh. True. So do I want to fuck you? Right. And I feel like we've covered this kind of fucking idiot. Good radio. Yeah, what the fuck, man? Yeah, this, we've already, it's already well established that he would marry me.

Oh yeah, Catalina. Yeah, to, to take my boat to Catalina and fuck me on the boat. My fiance to this day is Chloe Final Girls in my phone. Oh, really? Because I met her on the set of the movie, The Final Girls. And now she's the final girl. Whoa. She is the final girl.

I never put that together. Now she's the final girl. Take that ass out, bro. Exactly. No more plural, man. You got a singular now. Oh my God. Yo, put that in your vows.

You got to. Ders, that's great. Just so everybody knows, she's Chloe Final Girl forever in my phone now. Forever. Dude, that's unreal. I show everyone. And look, here it is. I'm going to get the projector out real quick.

If we could work the IT. Oh, you plug it into the PowerPoint? Yeah. And then you show people as you do it live. Oh, cool. Oh, you're, he's subtracting the S. I would love to see like trying to work the Apple TV. You're like, mirror screen.

Fuck, hang on a second, guys, because it is on my phone. It is. Just let me, does anyone, is it Bluetooth or Wi-Fi? How does it connect? What? He accidentally deletes the whole Final Girls. He's like, fuck. Chloe, what's your number?

Chloe, wait, what, Final Girl. Okay, fuck. What the fuck is your number? Gotta upgrade my phone iOS. The worst is when you like know someone for years and like don't know their last name. You just know them by like specifically one of my best friends fiance now.

His now fiance, I just, it was just Zach's girlfriend. Chelsea Zach's girlfriend in the phone. And for years, I did not know her last name. Yeah, which is. Well, we can't say it on the show. You can't say it on the show. Of course, of course. Allegedly field, allegedly.

The other thing that I have that's a problem, and I don't know if it's just our biz or LA or whatever, but a lot of my homies, I just know by their like Instagram handles. It's like, I don't know their real names. You're such a millennial. No, I swear to God, I was at a party a few years ago, and do you know Shane West?

Shane West. Sure, handsome actor. Yeah, handsome actor guy. He was in like a walk to remember with Mandy Moore, my high school girlfriend made me watch it all the time. Anyways, so I like, I'm at a party at his house, and I know him like fairly well. We've, we've been at parties together before.

We've gotten drunk together. I'm like, yeah, we know each other. And he introduced me to someone. This is like years ago. And he was, he was like, Hey, I want to introduce you to someone. And I'm like, okay. And he's like, Andy, this is Eric,

or whoever the fuck he was introducing me to. And I'm like, what's that? And he's like, yeah, Andy Bovine, dude. So have you seen workaholics? And I'm like, I stopped him in his tracks. I'm like, motherfucker, do you, I'm like, you think my name is Andy Bovine? And he's like, yeah.

And I go, my name's Adam Devine. And he goes, oh, I thought that was your stage name. Right. On the show. My name is Saddam Devin. I'm like, you thought my stage name was Andy Bo, have you ever heard of the last name Bovine? That's a fucking insane last name.

It was a family name. I come from a long, I don't know, calf cattle. Unreal. I have underwear issues. I'm the type of guy, and maybe I'm the only guy who does this. I wear my underwear until the back blows out of them. You know? Huh.

I keep my underwear for upwards of 15 to 20 years. And yeah. Well, you know what? Your underwear also, there's a lot of wear and tear because your whole ass and asshole is always hanging out of your pants. And then you grind on the floor as if you're a dog. Right.

So what's up? What's that last part? He grinds on the floor as if he's a dog. How so? Can you paint that picture a little bit more? What is it? You know how dogs, when they're wiping their ass on the floor.

When they have worms? Yeah, that's Blake. He's always sitting somewhere where it's not a seat. You know what I mean? Like, he's always sitting somewhere that you're like, oh, that's not, all right. I guess we could sit over there in that corner. So I think your underwear gets a little extra wear and tear

because of that. Me, my plump ass, it's always sitting in proper seated areas. And that's why my underwear stays. Not blown out the back? Stays, yeah, my underwear. I've never blown it out the back. I just, just like my Xbox, I need to evolve my underwear collection because, yeah, I've kind of hit the limit with my stance underwear.

How long are you rocking these undies? How long are they lasting you before they fucking blow up? I honestly hold on to... Well, so then they're probably, they're fine. And I like how you're like, I don't even know what to buy anymore. Well, the ones you have lasted 15 years, I would go back for seconds. Well, I wear stance because we had a stance plug. And I was getting a flow of stance underwear.

It was constant. And these stance, I've had, like how long ago was that? A while ago. I think it's time also, like just bought, you could just buy yourself some, some underwear, man. Treat yourself. I see where he's coming from. He wants to do that taste test.

I do. Yeah. What was that underwear that you got? Remember when we all, when we first started to make like a little bit of money and we could afford to buy frivolous things? Like underwear? Like not, like not the three pack? Yeah.

Like you're not just getting like the, the hains that you've been wearing your entire life. The just like a big old sack full of underwears. And you could like get a nicer microfiber or something that would feel nice on the thighs in case you're, you got some wet, wet denims. Yeah. Breatheable mesh underwear changed my entire outlook. But remember you guys would like rock. I kind of just, I got, I like, I tried on Calvin Klein's and I was like,

I'm basically Mark Wahlberg in these. This is my shit. And then I've just rocked them the entire time and that's what I wear. You stopped there. I stopped there, but you guys like went down a road. I remember you guys were like wearing sacks where there's like a pocket for your nut sack or something. That's Kyle's weird ass. That's my shit.

Kyle's a sacks man. I'm a sacks gentleman. Sacks by the fire. Saxman. I love them. Sacks are my favorite. S-A-X-X. Dersh was the one who kind of like walked me down the path of underwear.

Yeah. I took his hand and I said, walk with me. You did. I feel like you're the one who convinced me to buy those red breathable mesh undies and they changed my entire life. And I was like, thank you, Unders, because you just like. You 1992 dadded them. You sat them, you sat them down.

What's the brand? Those breathables were Calvin Klein. They were. And I honestly wore them like every other day. They're hitters. They have like a lot of different styles, fabrics, lengths. For sleeping, I prefer to sleep in ex-officio. That's a popular camping, fishing and hunting.

For sleeping? You have special sleeping undies? You put on different underwear to sleep in. Yeah. That's wild. I sleep in like boxers, boxers, underwear boxers. Are you having a lot? And I wear boxer briefs.

So hang on. So when, and then you take those off. This is a development. When you wake up in the morning, you take off those underwear and put on new underwear? Well, you change underwear. Well, I shower or work out. And then, yes, when I'm getting dressed,

I put on new underwear for that day. For the day. Do you go to sleep? Hang on, let's pause. Let me ask you one. Do you sleep in underwear and then just get up for the day in that underwear and go about your way?

Literally all the time. Oof, boy. Oh my God. You gotta let them nuts breathe. All the time I do it. Yeah. So, Ders, are you rocking the undies from night and night to wake up and you're rocking the same undies basically

like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday? You mean do I sleep in the same underwear all week? Yeah, yeah. No, I'll wear my sleepy undies. Yeah. I'll do. What's your night and night undies? I'll do two or three days.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. That makes sense to me. That's actually kind of dope. But I do boxers. Because I used to sleep in mesh shorts or whatever, but they're so fucking big that I'm just like,

I want some boxers that are just breathable because I don't want to sleep in boxer briefs. Whoa. Why does your nuts really, you keep saying breathable as if they're starving for oxygen. They have lungs. Yeah. Yeah.

Did they, does your nuts get that hot? Ders' nuts have lungs, dude. Yeah, I think they do. And then you get like fucking hard-ons and they're just like trying to get the fuck out. And I'm like, this is not comfortable. My back hurts hard. I used to sleep naked until I had kids.

And then I was like, this is dangerous. Okie dokie. Yeah. I slept naked until I had kids. And I was like, all right, they're coming in here. I'm going to put on some boxers. That kid's my pecker hard. Oh man.

This opened up a can of worms. Kyle, are you drunk? No. I'm the only one not drunk on this fucking pod. Are you drunk? Well, you're acting like a god. Well, it doesn't, I don't. She is our mom's age.

And so Blake wants to fuck his mom. That's weird, dude. And it's a whole circle back, baby. What are you? That's weird, dude. How come everybody's sitting? No, that's not what I'm saying. That's kind of your thing.

And that's fine. Maybe that'll be the thing that everyone likes about this episode. It's this, because we're not beating up Kyle. Okay, well, I think they're going to like that you beat off to Nick at night. Okay. Yeah. It's an Oedipus complex. Everybody here got that.

No. Oh. What does that mean? An Oedipus complex is when you want to fuck your mom and kill your father. Correct it is. Oh, it's got to be both? Huh. It has to be both.

It's not just fuck your mom. That's just kink shaming. Well, I got news. If you fuck your mom, that's going to kill your dad. Yeah, true. You do it all in one stroke. Admittedly, dad would be pretty salty on that. Yeah.

Yeah, that'll break his tart. And that's cool that I know that my parents listen to the podcast. So this is going to be fun for them. This is going to be a fun little few minutes for them. This is going to be a fun drive to the supermarket. Mine don't. But they were the ones complaining that we pick on Kyle so much for, so be careful what you ask for, you know what I mean?

Yeah, see what happens when we let him loose? My god. Yes, totally. He sets us up. Well, I didn't mean that we all had it. I was just relating it to us in like a way, but we don't. None of us have that. Right.

No, absolutely not. Nah, nah, we don't have that. You guys ever watch, you ever see The Graduate? No. Yeah. Not enough. Of course. I mean, I did.

I have. What's her name? Isn't it Mel Brooks' wife? Oh, I don't know her name. What's her name? Stunner. This is like the golden age of Hollywood, correct? Is that what, is that what we're talking about?

No. Yeah, The Graduate kind of kicked it off. No, golden age. We're talking like. And Bancroft. Oh, yeah. No clue. Jesus Christ.

No one remembers who this woman is. I just pretended. I don't know about you guys, but I have like a nice thick ass. And so like, you know about, wait, you said you don't know about us? Yeah, you've seen our asses. I'm pretty sure you know about all of our butts. I got a good ass. Mine's thick.

Yeah, you got a nice ass. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's not nice. I don't know if it's nice. Yeah, it's big. The best one of our group is Blake for sure. Yeah!

He's got the highest booty. Yeah, he's got the highest booty. Second Derz. Get the fuck out of here. Second Derz. Third is Adam. And fourth, I'll take up the rear. That is a wildly wrong statement.

For sure, I have the best ass. The best ass out of all of us? That's bullshit. I don't mean to get aggressive about this, but like, that's bullshit. I only, the only time I change my underwear is... Sundays. Is on the weekends.

Sundays in my undies. No, is after, like, when I'm showering. Like, after a shower, I would put on a fresh underwear. Okay. And then that's it. Like, I don't, like, to me, when you're going to bed, you take off your underwear and then put on your sleeping underwear. I first take off my pants.

I first take off my pants so I... Are you having a lot? And then I get right down to the drawer. I take off my underwear and then I put on... It gets my pecker hard. Either my ex-officials or my Patagonia underwear. Damn. I thought I was going to be the one with weird undie protocol,

but it turns out almost all of us are completely psycho about our underwear. And I don't work out in underwear. What? What? I only wear shorts with a built-in brief. Okay. Okay.

I like those too. I dig that. Because of, like, underwear. I feel like this motherfucker's blowing the back out of his shit because he might be working out in them. I don't like... They're not built for that. No, it's because I'm scooting my butt across the floor like a dog.

Yeah. That's... Yeah, that's why I... I was tripping, though, that, like... I was like, throw up. Tripping, all right. You tripping. I was tripping that back in, like, junior high, high school,

I believe, as well. I would wear straight up, like, cotton boxers, like... Well, yeah. Yeah. I've gone back to that. Really? I switch between sacks. Those are my jockeys.

And then I also have boxers. Because I can't seem to dial in whether or not I like the boxers only or the other ones. Deris has gone to grab his Patagonias. They got probably little pre-stands on them. Those are nice. Yeah, you can... You're going to love these.

Those are breathable. And these are... What do we got here? Extra large. Large crotch. 89% recycled nylon, 11% elasting. If you can find underwear, some Modal. You're going to be a happy guy.

Okay, okay. Modal is the fabric? Modal. Modal is the fab. All right, I'm into it. I trust this man when it comes to underwear protocol. For sure, Deris has that dialed in. He's got a super, super hot to the touch dick.

That means a lot of airflow. And I feel like we all could benefit from his knowledge. Thank you, Deris. Let that bitch breathe, baby. Let it breathe. Under armor makes pretty good underwear. I believe it. Nike.

Nike, the Nike underwear I've bought, it's not great. Okay. Well, I feel like Nike, that's some jock underwear. You could probably work out in them. To me, how many pairs of shorts with those linings in them, I think my ass is too big for those with the linings. I do not doubt that. Yeah.

Every time I put on those shorts with those linings in, my thighs, there's like an indention because my thighs and ass are too large. Right. I used to, so this, I mean, this all stems from back when I was swimming, we started running, I would run in a Speedo with shorts on. So like you're just, your dick's not fucking going all. Why don't you just get a jock strap? That's a good question.

I was a jock. Jock strap? Probably should. Because those are fucking bizarre. Like why not just cover your entire butt? Yeah. Why, why just have straps? Honestly, dude, I used to wear that when I played baseball.

What the fuck is going on? Like they're weird. It is weird. It lets the seat of your ass breathe, which I would argue is a little more important to let your nuts breathe, let your crack breathe, the brothers. Fair, fair. We all know that you have your entire asshole out of your pants all day long. It needs a lot of airflow.

Blake's butthole needs tons of airflow. Jock straps are fucking sick. Yeah, they are. They fucking cut a V on your butt. They're sexy, brother. Get off my jock. You ride my jock. I couldn't run with a nut cup on.

And like back in the day when you were in baseball, and I would try to run with the nut cup on, I'm like, I can't do it. Like you have, you like, it's weird. It's, it's too weird, man. Yeah. Dude, I used to refuse to wear a jock strap when I would play baseball because they fucking weirded me out so much. So I'd put the nut cup just in my undies and then when I would run like around the bases,

it would fall down to like my, it would fall down to like my ankle. And I have to like reach down and grab it and like kind of like scooch it back. Holy shit. Look at second base. That kid's dick just fell off. No, the Golden Age of Hollywood is when Fight Club came out and the next year was the Matrix. Fuck y'all, dude.

No, the Golden Age was in 1994 when Jim Carrey came out with Ace Fanciura, Mask and Dumb and Dumber on the same year. That was the Golden Age. Okay. Get at me, Hollywood historian. How are you not hitting the sound board? Thank you. Remember when in Game Over, man, when we all found out that we like all wipe our ass in different ways?

I don't remember the specific moment, but what's up, bro? It tells us about that weird dream you had. No, no, no, no, no. That's because I was, it's when I was like on the toilet. Oh, are you the stand up wiper? I'm a stand up wiper. I'm a stand up bend over wiper. Oh yeah.

What the fuck is wrong with you, bro? That's so strange. You have issues. Dude, I don't know any other way. That's how I've done it my entire life. How much poo do you leave in your butt that way? It's compressive. Dude, my ass is so clean.

No way. But when you stand up, your cheeks, they go together. Yeah, thank you. No, I'm peeling them. I'm peeling the cheeks apart. No, bro, come on now. It's so inefficient. No, dude.

It's incredibly inefficient. My ass is too large to lean over on the toilet. I've got to stand up with a wide stance with a zero people. Zero people in the world wipe while standing. There's no other human. No, I know some dudes who used to stand up to wipe, because at our high school in the locker room, it was old school, like from the 60s.

And there's no doors on the shitters. It's just like a half wall. And you kind of shit inside. So when people walk past, you're just like, what's up? And this dude was. Wait, but that was like to shit. Yes, it was a shit. That was like to stand.

They stand up to shit. No, he would stand up to wipe. To wipe, not to shit. He would shit. And then he would stand to wipe. And we were like, why are you standing and doing that? He's like, what do you mean? What do you do?

Oh, my, is it getting too strange? Oh, my God. Now we're podcasting about. Wait, but hold on a second. So, I mean, it's like you stand up. Well, after we, because we had the same conversation on Game Over, man. And I had, I'm blanking on his name,

but the camera operator that. Oh, the British dude. No, the the bald dude. Oh, Wilkie. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think his name is Peter. Yeah, he fucking ruled.

He was like, yeah, that's how I wipe. Like he came. He overheard it and he goes, I'm with you solidarity. He's like, yeah, I also. Yeah. So it's because, and the reasoning behind it is because you can't reach around. You have T-Rex arms and you can't get into your butt crack

or something. Is that what's going on? Can't get past the mountains that are your ass cheeks. No, I really have to get in there, dude. And then you're wiping it and you're pulling it back onto your cheek. It's disgusting. You guys are foul.

What I do, I'm like bent over in that stall, going to town. Oh my god. Like one hand down on the floor. Are you in like a three-point stance? But like, don't you understand the mechanics of when you sit down on a toilet, it kind of like spreads your cheeks for you. You can even like emphasize it with a nice wiggle or whatever. But when you stand up, it goes and closes back.

And then you got to peel that apart after it's already like, like if you spread peanut butter on one side of bread and just fold it in half, that's what you're doing when you stand up every time you get peanut butter all over it. Is the dookie, the peanut butter is the dookie. Yeah, guys, I tried it. I tried it your way. I'm just saying it doesn't work for me.

And I think it doesn't work for a lot of people. I think where I, hey, I'm calling. I'm calling to all the aruguloids out there. All them salad eaters. You're trying to take my fucking squad, bro. What's up? I'm taking your fan base, dawg. You got your own fan base now.

The stand up. The three point stance. Yeah. The stancers. We'll do a Twitter poll on the day. When this drops, we'll do a Twitter poll, stand up wipers and sit down wipers. But like, what happened when you did that, though?

You said you tried it and it didn't work. What the fuck happened? I'm smearing it up the side of my ass. I fell in the toilet. See, that just makes me think like, so Kim Kardashian has a hell of a time wiping her ass. Oh, she has an issue. Oh, she stands for sure.

She's a standard. She probably has two people help her. She has assistance for that. You guys hold my butt apart while I dab my hole. All you guys, I need all you guys to hold my butt. Come over here. I don't know what she sounds like actually. This is a real struggle.

Well, okay, so that's super strange, but do you crumple or do you fold the paper? I mean, that's a classic kind of question. Well, I'll fold. I'm not a lunatic. You gotta fold. You can't crumple because you don't know how that's gonna like spring loose.

Yeah. I'm a crumple dog. Of course you are. You know, you don't even tell us. That's fine. We know. Obviously. Sometimes I do take the time to fold

and I kind of think as I get older, more towards 40, I will take more time to fold because it's a better method. Just let me lay this out there. It takes no time. It takes the same time to crumple. Yeah. Hey, you could do it while you're just sitting on the toilet. Just take that time.

You don't need to do it just at the very end. You can prep the situation. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to defend crumpling. You guys are right. I'm just saying, I don't know where the fuck is wrong with me. You take the carnation of toilet paper and just kind of scrub around your butt or what?

I don't get it. It's my fuckers like carnation. See, and this is why I think you guys were making fun of my ass as if it's disgusting. I've got a very clean ass. It's wildly clean. I keep that thing very nice. I believe that Kyle has a disgusting ass.

He crumples it up. He dabs his asshole with a crumpled up toilet paper and then calls it a day. I think I just end up using more toilet paper than I need to. I think I'm wasteful in that department. You're like double and triple pulling extra. I think my ass is just as wildly clean as yours, but it's especially from stand up dude like yourself.

Charmin? Yeah, it's like I clean. What? Why do you think your ass is cleaner than mine? I don't understand that. Hey, we're not all going to take sides here. Come on. Let's just.

No, no, this is just this cool. I can do this with the vamp. What's up? Take it to another fucking room. I've been riding 100 plus miles a week. I've been doing a lot of leg work. I'm wracked and stacked down here. I am a fitness influencer.

I've been doing legs three times a week. My shit is rock solid right now. I would stack my ass up with. Do you think it might just be a little much, Adam? Oh, too much dude. There's no. We're in 2020, Anders. There's no such thing as a little much anymore.

The Kardashians are the queen bees. Okay. And their asses are the fucking size of the moon. Tell me about Rob Kardashian's ass real quick. I don't know. I'm not. I'm talking. My ass is.

Hello. I used to rock a squatty potty and that was just clutch. That was a nightmare. Oh, no. The best. I'm into the squatty potty. What's up? The higher, the better.

Put me honestly. I don't know, man. Put my, I want my knees over my shoulders. Oh, that's hella weird to me. Thank you, Anders. I want my legs behind my neck. Thank you, Anders. I want to be in a pretzel.

But it is weird. You stand up to wipe. That's crazy. My legs behind my head. Why? Legs behind the head in the shower. Just let me. Stand in the way.

Just take a wipe. You're a freak, dude. Yeah. A carnation. You got to fold it. Yeah, what's the carnation? What was that? That's when you clump up toilet paper,

it looks like a carnation flower to me. Yes. Oh, wow. That's very. Yeah. I like that you crumpled up toilet paper immediately. You're like, oh, this is beautiful. I see beauty in everything.

That's great. You do, Blake. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. So you get your pecker hard? I get my pecker hard. I'm just like, damn, I already know the.

The title of this podcast is about to be cool, whatever it is. Oh, man. Yeah. Pretty much this podcast was pretty much frozen pizza. There we go. Cool as fuck. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart.

I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University, and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet?

So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all new story of Betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account

when she discovered a terrible secret. I scrolled down, and that's when I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? I was scared that he was coming home. What Ashley discovered that day was a secret so dark, she feared for her life. She was like, oh my god, I got to get out of the house. He's going to find out that I've seen this, he's going to come kill me. Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C. It took four murders before the police finally realized that one person was responsible. I will admit the others when you catch me, if you can. Signed freeway phantom. This child was laying on the side of the road. It appeared that she was probably either dragged out of the car or thrown out of the car.

The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen by the mother. That guy is, he's out of sync with even the worst people. I thought that they would catch him. I thought it was just a matter of time. Is it possible that the killer is still alive? Listen to freeway phantom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, Kyle, how often when you go into a meeting and someone references, because you're not very well studied when it comes to knowing... Movies? Movies. Well, that's kind of not true, but what's that? Well, I think it kind of is. Hey, no, no, no, he's seen 10 movies. But go ahead.

You've seen 10 movies. How often does someone like a producer or something say like, oh, a deep cut movie and you are like... Because I do it sometimes. But I'm sure as a director, it happens to you so much more where they're like, oh, yeah, and you remember this film from like 1964 and you're like... Latune. Well, that's true.

I mean, no, no, you're... But like a deep cut because you're not a true cinephile. You're not like studying films all day, every day. I'm getting more so getting there now. Like I just watched Citizen Kane a year ago for the first time. I had never seen that before. Because I wasn't interested in studying it. I was more interested in making the films.

You know what I mean? And just the craft of doing it. But yeah, you're right. No, I get it. Wait. You're right. Kyle, is that your argument that you're like, I don't watch movies.

I make movies? That's what it was. Yeah, for sure. You know that doesn't work, right? Okay. Well, now he knows and he's doing it. Are you having a laugh? How do you handle a line?

Do you say, oh, I didn't see that? Or do you do a classic? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. I'm that guy. Because that's what I do. I, for sure, I lie almost, I would say 80% of the time. 20% I'll go like, you know what, I don't know that one. But most of the time, more than most of the time,

I will go like, oh, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I'll do that when it comes to actors and actresses. Like I'll definitely be like, oh, right. I remember him or I remember her, but not when it comes to movies and plots. Right. When it comes to movies and plots, I'm just like, I can't, I'm not lying.

You know what I mean? Like it's not because you're watching it for shots. Sure. In case they have a follow up question and they're like, so what did you think of this plot device? Were they, and then you have to be like, oh, yeah, I haven't seen that one in a while. Right.

I can breeze past like an actor and actress and just be like, yeah, or like this actor or this actress. Like you can kind of do that, but if, Or someone that I know. Right. Exactly. Or one of my friends. From Mortal Kombat the movie.

Yeah. Yeah, I find that sometimes people will be like, you know, what's their name or like your friends with it. And I'll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they continue with it. Like, so yeah, I was just talking to them the other day. And you're like, I, yeah, I actually don't know that person at all. Right.

Angelica Houston. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll be like, yeah. And you just are like, sure, for sure. Yeah. Jelly. I'm probably met them at a Comic Con when I was black out.

And they remember the time I met them and I don't at all. Jelly. Well, that happens to me. I would say that specifically from you, where people being like, yo, dude, I'm Blake's homie. And then I have to, well, this is in the before times when I actually would go out places and see people that I didn't know.

But I would always get people be like, yo, I'm homies with your friend, Blake, man. And then I have to like have a conversation with them for like 10 minutes. And then, and then I kind of put in it together like, oh, he doesn't really know Blake. He like was at a bar once with him. Yeah.

And for some reason they feel like they have a connection with you that then they go like, hey, we're really good friends. The next time I see one of these guys, I have to let them know that. Well, next time just FaceTime me and show me the person. You know, we'll sort it out. That always works. And then you could be real harsh with this.

Like, I don't, I do not know that man. I don't know. I'm sorry, man. Walk away. I do not know that man. Run. I don't know this person. Get the hell out of there.

I just turned and run. See ya. I have a female, a beautiful female's ass. And what are we casting, Kyle? What are we casting? That is wildly incorrect. Yeah. Wait, what are we casting?

We haven't even, what is the present? Obviously it's a gay porno. Hello. I'm actually saying, what's the movie where, like Mel Gibson in fucking lethal weapon. You know what I mean? Where he stands in the fucking trailer and you got the shot of the ass.

Adam, relax. You have the gay porno on lockdown. We know that. It's all good, but Adam's just delusional about this. I'm not delusional. He's an influencer. He's influencing himself. I'm a fitness influencer.

He's delusional, dude. I can't let this happen. I'm sorry, Kyle. I think your casting choices are way off base. They've gotten me where I am today. So I think I know what I'm doing. We've established that I'm the one that gets all the gay guys flooded my DMs,

wanting to see what they think every day. Talking about my thick, juicy booty and how it makes their fucking mouths water. And these guys don't get that. Don't get that same love. So if we're talking about needing men to judge other men's booties, I feel we should go to the gay men fans

and see what they have to say, okay? I don't get a lot of gay guys. I get women in the DMs, but I don't get a lot of gay guys. Why don't we just have women judge these booties? I feel like the women are going to go to Blake first. I'm making this shot. This shot isn't necessarily for gay dudes.

This shot is for women. And Blake's hair, when it's wet, probably goes all the way down to the crack and just kind of like leaves your eyes. That is correct. It's fantastic. And I'm saying that from, I'm saying that from like an art perspective.

Okay. Well, we'll be two and a half. Not from anything really sexual. Like an artistic perspective, Blake wins. But we'll be two now. I guess that's where we're not, check out, we're shooting a hardcore gay porno. Well, that's not what I'm making.

I'm saying my ass is the star. You know how the Seinfeld reunion was on curb your enthusiasm in a fun, weird way that they were like, oh, it's not going to be Seinfeld. It's going to be on curb. The workaholics reunion is just going to be a gay porno. And we're going to fuck each other and be like, but it's funny because it wasn't a workaholics episode.

Is that creative we are? Jillian, good news. We can shoot you out in a day. Come on in, big air griffin. We got your, Jillian delivers a pizza. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taking the higher way, way bigger. Much, much, much, much, much, much, much bigger.

Why don't you could squash you. Yeah, I'm a denser man. You know what's crazy? You guys are gearing up and it's on the eve of Thanksgiving. That cannot be a coincidence. It's this time of the year. Because you guys have fist fought, like two or three Thanksgiving's, you guys have fist fought.

Yeah, our Thanksgiving is when Kyle and I really, for whatever the moon hangs low for us and we got a howl at it, baby. It's when the night is night for too long. We go at each other. Yeah, yeah. That's when I'm pissing in a bush next to his childhood friend. Also, I've been friends with them for years at this point.

And his roommate for years. And then all of a sudden he like shows me, he's like, you're pissing too close to my friend. That's the time of year it is. But the best part was he was puking. And I was like, you're pissing too close to where my friend's trying to puke. Oh, sure.

But I was the one who started pissing first and he came up next to me, he started to puke. I'm a defender, you know? I defended your DDS. I did this stuff to Durs. It's like, I just do it. I choose these sides and I get angry at one of them. You know what I mean?

OK. Where do you stand, Kyle, on the first 45 minutes of Blow? The greatest movie of all time. The greatest first 45 minutes of all time. Well, now that's me as probably, so Durs also asked as a movie watcher. Like Blow is really fun for me to watch. I love watching that.

Yeah. Because I get fucking juiced. It's like the rise to the top. It's very fun. And Pee Wee Herman's crushing. Dude, Paul Reumann slays on that movie. I used to watch that movie every night before going to bed like a psychopath.

Yeah, you love that. I loved it. I would watch it as I'm going to... Well, I slept on a couch for like two years of my life. So I would just... I'd be in the living room about to go to bed and I'd just put it on and watch the first 45 minutes as I'm falling asleep and then turn it off.

Because then it gets kind of sad and you're like, oh, it's nice depressing. But the first 45, when he's just like a kingpin... He's peeking. ...weed dealer. So you don't like the latter half of that movie? No, I like the latter half too, but I'm like, I'm not trying to go to bed being like,

oh, this poor guy lost everything. I'm just trying to go to bed being like that. Drugs rule. Yeah. I'm going to have nice dreams. Yeah, just saying drugs rule. That's a major cautionary tale. You should probably spend the next 10 years of your life

just watching the second half. Uh-huh. Funny how life changes. No, I've seen it and I get it. The thing is, deal weed, not cocaine. Hello. Smoke weed every day. The best part of the whole movie

is Penelope Cruz in the wind suit at the end. Oh, damn. Yeah. I miss her. God, Penelope Cruz rocked. She looks fucking cool. What happened to her? She was sick.

She's still doing it. She was in Zoo Later too. Come on. Hell yeah. Yeah, what happened to her? She's like, he has cocaine. He's got cocaine in the trunk. And then busts his ass.

Oh, man, I was so mad at her. But you know who killed it in the same vein with Sharon Stone in Casino? Where it's just like the woman in the relationship who's basically sticking her neck out on the line for the guy. And she's like, fuck this. This is insane.

We have a family to raise and just throws it all. That's kind of her. That's kind of a cool role is the cocaine queen. In most of those cocaine movies. The wife of the king or the actual Iron Man charge queen. Yeah, it's like Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface and Penelope Cruz. Well, you know how they're turning every movie,

Hollywood's turning every movie on its head and making the women be the leads now? And I want to be the cocaine queen. I want to play the coped up, wild man husband who is she's making all the money. And you're like, I can't control this hot piece of ass. That's what my wife is saying. My wife is going like, I can't control this hot piece of ass.

I'm only keeping around because of his thick, juicy ass. Look at that ass. And then gratuitous ass shots of me walking around the pool. You're always in a speedo. You're like, honey, come here. And she's like, oh, she has berries her face and your ass. Like how guys always crumble to their knees and just put their face right in her crotch.

Baby, I'm so sorry. I just want to go home. Yeah, exactly. Those are the roles I'm trying to get right now. That's why I'm working out my fitness, trying to be a fitness inspo. Oh, so it all comes back. So the fitness inspo is on the way

to becoming more of man candy for the gender swap. Okay. Yeah, well, it's 2020 now. And this is my year of health that I'm getting my body and mind in great shape. So when 2021 hits and that man candy roll is up for grabs, it'll be me and all the hot boys, me, the Hemsworths, all the Chris's, Michael B.

And I'm right there in the running. I've been doing it for a few years. The water is warm. Come on in. Okay. All right. Yeah, Jersey's been hot, man candy. He's always sitting around.

He's always like cutting up carrots and shit by the sink. That's his hot boy role. Hey, we're going to need some new carrots. I cut all the carrots. So I cut them. Let's just say these carrots are getting cut. It's like you don't even know my lifestyle. My lifestyle is fitness, Blake.

It's all I do all day, every day. I wake up and my eyes snap open and I'm like, how do I better myself and influence those around me? That's all I'm thinking as a fitness influencer. While you're doing that, you are losing the ass that you have in your mind. I think Blake's right. You might be working it all the way.

You might be, it might be falling off, man. You're chipping away at Mount Rushmore. Yeah. That is true, Jersey. You've been playing these, you get roles that Blake and I do not get, the hot boy roles, the hot husband. Not too hot.

He's just, he's home, isn't he? He's just home. Hot enough. Yes, stoked you married him. Right, right. Yeah, what's that like, man? Well, you get both, you get stoked to married him and then like, oh, he seems like a great guy,

but he's actually a cheating bastard. I turn on everyone and that's why ladies at the airport fucking flip me off. Do they? They're like, fuck you. Your dick is a part of one of the best scenes we've ever filmed as a crew. That's one of the best scenes, Netflix.

I would put that whole sequence of events. We're talking Game Over, man. Game Over, man, the movie we made for Netflix where we hotel got taken over. We were the maids. We had to save the day in a die-hard type way. Taken over by terrorists. Taken over by terrorists.

And there's a scene where terrorists are coming into the hotel room that Blake, Adam, and I, our characters are in and we have to scramble and Adam's character comes up with an idea where he will pretend to be a guy who's dead in a closet from autoerotic asphyxiation. And while they're distracted looking at Adam, who was fully fucking naked in this movie, Blake and I attack,

but then the terrorists turn out to be lovers. They start fucking and the whole plane goes south. As they do. As they do. As they do. And I would say that I would put that whole sequence up against anything else on Netflix. It's better.

He's the base. Without a doubt. That is the funniest scene out of any comedy that I've seen in the past five years, for sure. The funniest. It's truly a laugh riot by definition. But then you see my ass from the side and you're like, goddamn, that is something else.

That is a booty. Well, you see your nuts and taint from the front from the best possible angle. You do see my nuts and taint. You see your whole entire dick. You see your balls. You see your grundle. And we shot it all.

And you did put it out there, man. And you fucking earned that shit, player. You really did because when we wrote it, we didn't think that we would be shooting it in such a way that it would be so fully frontal. And then we really went through it. So gratuitous. Yeah, I was planning on having a prosthetic dick.

And when we got into pre-production, and Adam finally came out and we were about to shoot, I said, Adam, look, I got him building this prosthetic dick. What do you think? And he's like, Kyle, I've made peace with the world. I'm going to show them my dick. I said, all right. I wanted to show the world my dick.

Yeah. And I took that cue and I shot the shit out of it. I get it. I get it. You guys are appeasing me because you were just, for lack of a better term, shitting on my ass. OK. Yeah.

You were shitting on my ass. Diarrhea was shit on top. And so you gave me compliments to my dick. And I understand that you know that I needed that because I do hang my hat on my ass. Well, don't make us feel bad about it. You should really be hanging your hat on your dick, bro. Are you saying thank you or are you saying no thank you?

I'm not saying anything. I appreciate what you're doing. I appreciate what you're doing. I think you were pretty clear. We were shitting on your ass. So we glorified your dick. Yeah. And I do appreciate that.

But you cannot work out your dick. And as a fitness influencer who takes great pride in his gluteus maximus. He really runs with that. Is there anything such a thing as a dickness influencer? We're like everything you post is about your dick and treating it right and getting it to be its best. Should I do that?

Absolutely. Yeah. Like a dick care? Like a self care but only for your penis? Only about your dick. Like how to keep the skin right, how to get it bigger, how to keep it going, how to like manscaping all that. How did you cry?

Because you don't cry that often. Yeah, what did you do? How did you do that? Yeah, you are a robot. Did you use the tear sticks? Let me, let's get real. Let's get real here, ready? You ready to get real for the first time on the pod?

Yeah. I squeezed my nuts really hard. Let's go. I want to apologize to everyone listening for this podcast. It was off the rails from the jump. But guess what? That's kind of the fucking deal. Hi, I'm David Eagleman.

I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions. Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Last season, millions tuned into the Betrayal podcast to hear a shocking story of deception. I'm Andrea Gunning, and now we're sharing an all-new story of betrayal. Ashley Lytton was helping her husband set up a business Venmo account when she discovered a terrible secret. I saw a hidden folder, and I opened it. What the hell did I just see? Listen to season two of Betrayal on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Between April 1971 and September 1972, six young black girls were snatched off the streets in Washington, D.C.

This child was laying on the side of the road. The person said, I murdered your daughter. The killer believed that he may have been seen. I will admit the others when you catch me if you can. Time, Freeway Phantom. Listen to Freeway Phantom on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.