This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - 044 / The 5 Anchors To Optimal Health with Jenn Zerling

Episode Date: February 3, 2021

For far too long I believed my body existed for the benefit, pleasure, intentions and use of others. And in that belief, I ended up abusing myself. Learning to love my body for what it is for ME, is a journey I’m still on, and one I wish I would have started earlier. I know I’m not alone. In this episode, I welcome guest Jenn Zerling - Founder of JZ Fitness, Certified Obesity Specialist, Author, Orange Theory Coach, and she also holds a master’s degree in kinesiology. Jenn shares the framework of what we need to know to live our best (most healthy) life! Are you grateful for all of the amazing things your body does, and can do? “Woman, you are more than eye candy and male intentions. You are a temple, a home. A sacred dwelling, and you should carry yourself like that.” - Unknown This is Woman’s Work. To learn more about what we are up to outside of this podcast, visit us at NicoleKalil.com

Coming up on this episode of This Is Woman's Work. If we want to feel good, then we need to choose to feel good with everything we do every single day. There are so many things I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, but pretty high on the list would be that my body serves one primary purpose, and that is to provide a home to me, to my joys, my goals, my hopes, my love, my spirit, my impact, my story. And because those most valuable treasures live inside of this home, this temple, it must be taken care of. Its strength, ability to withstand storms, fortitude, longevity, that's what matters most about this body. I am Nicole Kalil, and you are listening to the This Is

Woman's Work podcast. For far too long, I believed my body, my home, existed for the benefit, pleasure, intentions, and use of others. And in that belief, I ended up abusing myself. Because I felt my value was wrapped up in my attraction to others, I binged, purged, dieted, starved, and overfed myself. And I know it feels nice when someone compliments your home, but the reality is that the only person who has to live there, the only person who gets to live there is you. Learning to love my home, my body for what it is for me is a journey I'm still on and one I wish I would have started earlier. And I know I'm not alone.

I've asked Jennifer Zerling, also known as Jay-Z, who holds a master's degree in kinesiology, is a certified obesity specialist, and has over 10 years of clinical experience in weight loss and age management medicine combined. Jay-Z is the creator of Jay-Z Fitness Nutrition App on Apple and Androids. She also authored the book, Breaking the Chains of Obesity, 107 Tools, and just launched her first official lifestyle course, which distinctly highlights the Jay-Z Fitness High Five Anchors. These anchors are fundamentals to optimal age management and permanent weight loss. Jay-Z is also a proud coach at the Orange Theory Fitness in Los Angeles, which I've tried before and I thought it was awesome. And she is a mama to a two and a half year old girl and very, very newborn

baby boy. Jay-Z leads an exemplary work mommy fit lifestyle and wishes to teach others to do the same. Jay-Z, thank you so much for joining us today. I'm super excited to have you. One of the things I read in doing a little research is that your mission is to help America and the world break the chains of obesity and age well. Talk to us about this mission. What does it mean to you? It's a big one. How are you working to do it? Tell us a wise one. First and foremost, thank you so much, Nicole, for having me on your podcast. This is such an honor. And I, your audience can't see me, but I'm actually teary eyed from your introduction because that, first of all, that is so beautiful that you're sharing

that vulnerability with your audience. I'm sure a lot of other people feel that exact same feeling. And I personally can relate to that. My book, Breaking the Chains of Obesity, actually means that I broke the chains for subsequent generations for myself because I come from a family of obesity. I actually have the gene. My family, most people in my family are obese and overweight, have various diseases. My husband also has obesity in his family. Both of his parents are deceased as a result of obesity. So my mission to mitigate obesity in as many people as possible is a very personal story. I have private clients I work with as a result, and I handhold my clients one person at a time for 30 consecutive days at a time. Every single day I'm talking to these folks. I allow them to text me questions,, but the goal is to provide information to people so that they can ultimately have some sort of framework of what they need to know instead of going all over the internet and being vastly confused with information

that doesn't work. It's a very deep rooted situation. This is not something that's fixed overnight. It's something we work on the rest of our lives. And I think that with the right resources in place, I know in my heart mission. It's a, it's a big and important one. In your experience, both personal and, you know, as your profession, how much of obesity is a physical issue and how much of it is a mental and or emotional? I'm guessing they all contribute, but you know, I don't think it's as simple as obese people eat too much. What is your experience and thoughts on that? Yeah. You know, it's a very interesting question because I always tell people to make a permanent change.

You have to feel your way into that change. We can't make it a cranial change. When we think about the diet that we're about to, you know, explore or go on, especially with the new year, or if we think about the exercise program that we take on, and I'm so glad you like Orange Theory Fitness, that makes me so happy. But anything we do to quote unquote lose weight is very cranial. People need to start feeling the results of eating better, exercise, more sleep, taking care of what I call me management, and then being well hydrated. Those are the five anchors of my course. If you can't feel those five, then it just becomes more work. And if you're a busy entrepreneur like me and you, that's just a daunting task to take

on when you have so many things going on in your life. And in your mind, it's like so much to learn that you most likely aren't going to do it right away, or you're going to quote unquote, try to do it and make it work. This can't be in your brain. It's got to be in your body. So when you ask, yeah, go ahead. No, that really resonates with me because, you know, I've fluctuated. I mean, I had an eating disorder and then, you know, COVID and it went in my twenties and now COVID, I'm the heaviest I've been and everything in between. And it's always, and my brain very well knows that this is important. Um, and I'm a moderately intelligent person. So like, I know, you know, I should eat well and exercise and all

of that, but when it is in my head, it doesn't seem to trigger action. Something else needs to happen. So will you walk us through those five anchors a little bit deeper? Absolutely. And before I do that, how old is your daughter? If you don't want me asking. No, I don't. She's a seven and a half. Okay. She's seven and a half. So if you tell your daughter not to do something, is she going to listen to you? It depends on the day and the way I say it, but yeah, I mean, there's always pushback and, and, you know, and that's exactly what the problem is with dieters and people who want to lose weight. If I tell you not to eat carbs, you're going to eat carbs one of these days. Okay. And as a dieter,

you're going to feel bad that you ate those carbs. You're going to feel like you failed your diet. You failed yourself. And you've tried this so many times and now you're back up here in the brain. So you are a very smart woman. Um, but you can't make this cranial. So let's talk about the anchors. When you eat a very good meal, forget about the fact that it's healthy. You feel light. You feel like you could actually go on a walk with your spouse. You feel like you could get on the ground and play with your seven-year-olds. Okay. You feel good versus you eat a poor meal. Forget the cranial of, oh, that was so bad for me. You don't feel good. You physically feel bloated. You physically feel tired. You just don't feel

good period. So if we just take it one meal at a time and say to ourselves, am I in the mood to feel good? Or am I in the mood to not feel good? Okay. You could probably make a better decision. Now to that point, if you have a structure in place where you have your go-tos for the day, and you don't even have the quote unquote bad food as an option, you're now going to feel good the whole day. And at the end of the day, you're gonna be like, wow, I feel great. So now you can go into good sleep because when we're full and when we're nutrient deficient, our brain doesn't function well, the cells in our body aren't thriving. And therefore that's going to interrupt sleep patterns. And if you don't sleep well, you're not going to feel good the next day. Right? Oh my gosh. I'm cranky pants. If I don't get my

like eight hours. And the reason why I'm feeling great is because my eight week old son slept a five hour stretch and a five hour stretch again. I was like, oh my gosh, I won the lottery. Right. A serious victory. I can feel that. That's my point. I feel amazing versus when he was sleeping the small stretches, I had to reach out to my sleep trainer and she said, I promise you, you're going to turn the bend. I need you to focus on that. So I had to get out of my brain because I'm a cranial person. Okay. I had to feel the love for my son every single day, knowing it's going to get better, even

though it wasn't getting better today. All right. Because my sleep is critical. I write a lot. I speak with people a lot. I help people. So if I'm not on my A game, then that impacts everything about my day. And I can't fake this. This has to come from my heart

and my soul. So it's those types of things. With exercise, there's people who are so unfit that their heart beating fast is very uncomfortable for them. That doesn't feel good. So that's why with the course I talk about, well, if you're a beginner, let's start here. Okay. We can't say I'm a beginner. Let's hop into this high intensity interval class and go all out and just know in the end, you're going to lose your weight. That's not going to feel good for somebody who's brand new to fitness. So it gives people a structure of where to start, even if it's just tracking your steps for the week. What you just said is really relates to a lot of experiences that I've had, um, where, you know, I'll, I'll try a new exercise program or hire a, uh, fitness instructor. Why am I blanking on the word? A personal trainer. Yeah. Thank you. Um, and what I find is sometimes they have me do things that are completely uncomfortable and I have a hard time making

it through, or like, I feel like I need to, you know, push myself to extreme limits and it doesn't feel good for me. And, and my brain and my body is like, I don't want to do that again. And it's really hard for me to get excited about something. I don't know. Some people really like that. I don't like for me, it's about small victories. If I can make it through this workout, I feel good about the workout and myself. And then I want to go and do the next one and so forth and so on. The going too hard, too fast has been a challenge for me. Right. And, and, you know, it's no fault on the trainer, but as a personal trainer should do, they need to constantly assess their client from the second

they walk in the door to the second they leave. And they need to follow up with their client, even that night or the next day to see how the client is feeling. Okay. I was trained in five-star service and that's what we do. And every single personal trainer, I mean, that's the word personal trainer. You're personally getting involved in a person's world, charging top fees for that service. It's not just for that hour. And that's just my opinion, but that's how I operate as a, as a fitness expert. And I would expect my peers to do the same with their clients because someone like yourself who really wants to be fit needs to have that high level of support and expertise to find that correct program for you from day to day and advance you as you get more fit. Right. So forgive me if I lost track, you talked about the first anchor and a lot more

depth. Tell us about some of the others. So hydration is one of the anchors. So we talked about nutrition briefly. We just talked about fitness. Hydration is one of the anchors. So we talked about nutrition briefly. We just talked about fitness. Hydration is one of the anchors. And the thing with hydration is a lot of people do not drink enough water. And most of the body is made of water. Now, joint issues, muscle tightness. If you don't drink enough fluid, I talked to my clients that it's like beef jerky. You know what beef jerky looks like? Thank you for that mental image. That's probably the best way to describe how your muscles are going to fire up or not fire up for that matter. If you're not well hydrated and you're exercising or just even sitting. Okay. When you're sitting in activity saps, the vigor of the mind and the body. Okay. I learned

that years ago from a peer mentor, rather he was in his nineties and he was in the fitness industry forever. And it's so true. If you're not moving, I mean, motion is lotion, but if you're moving, you're constantly utilizing fluids. And if you're not replenishing those fluids, then your body becomes dry and brittle. And that's why there's a lot of joint issues. The spine, every time you move displaces water. So you need to constantly drink. And I always have water at my side, wherever I go, look at you, girl. We just showed our big water bottles. I got a 20 ounce bottle and my, my commitment is to drink four of them every single day. So that's because I, I like, again, my brain knew drinking water was important

and, and all of that. I just, I'd get busy in my day and going to get water felt like a chore. And so this is my kind of fix for myself on that. So my, I'm always at that 80 to a hundred ounces of water a day. That's spot on. So you want half of your body weight in ounces of water a day. And there's ways of getting water in your diet, even, which is what I talk about in the anchor. So it's not just water bottles. And to that point for people who sit a lot, it's not really comfortable having to run to the bathroom every second. So for those people who are sitting for most of the day, not only do I tell them to move more, even if it's just to get up for a minute at a time, but maybe not drink a ton of water on those days that are more sedentary because then they find themselves in the bathroom, which actually

is a good thing because that makes them have to get up and walk. Right. Yeah. But if you're active that day, you're going to actually utilize that water on a cellular level compared to if you're inactive that day. Okay. So that'll make it more comfortable for people to know that if they're more active that day, then they're not going to be using the bathroom as much. Gotcha. Okay. So nutrition, exercise, hydration, two more, right? Okay. We sleep. Sleep. Oh, that's my favorite. I'm really good at sleep. I think we talked about sleep briefly just now, how I, you know, I got great sleep last night,

relatively speaking for the last eight weeks, I've been just sleep deprived and you know, it's great because I look at contracts all the time. I actually paused that part of my career in my life. You know, I serve on the HOA for the board. I'm the president and we just got a new manager, for example. And I told other board members, there's five of us. I said, you know, someone else needs to look at this contract with new management because I am so sleep deprived that I can't read this document right now. So I think part of, and this is the fifth anchor is called me management. We have to know our boundaries. We have to know what we can and cannot do, even though I'm really good at reading things. I knew I couldn't do it then. And I didn't want to feel bad about it. I just was very honest and it worked out. So, um, sleep is a very critical thing. I have people who tell me they operate well on five, six hours of sleep. Keep in mind, we circulate the most critical hormones for recovery during sleep. So if we're not sleeping enough, then our body can't repair the cells and we actually age quickly. Yeah. So sleep is a very important anchor. So these five anchors are both for wellness and I know a big part of your work

is aging well. And so I'm guessing they contribute, you know, on both, both sides, pretty evenly, correct? Correct. I mean, that's why when people come to me for weight loss and they say, I want a diet plan, I say, you're going to learn all five anchors because if you are struggling with weight, you are aging your body quickly. Yeah. Okay. So being at an optimal weight is ideal for optimal aging. And when we talk about aging, we're all going to get older with our chronological number. You know, I'm 42 years of age. I feel honestly, like I'm in my late twenties. I actually feel better. And you're looking at me. I don't have a lot of wrinkles

on my face. I don't wear makeup. I did a lot of research on how to get to this point. And when I'm in my fifties and sixties and your skin looks fabulous, by the way. Oh, thanks. I said lots of water. I think I'm like, I'm like, you're glowing on this side over here. Um, but you know, I, I had, I started researching and asking a lot of women how old they were when I was in my like early twenties. And I'm like, okay, I want to look like her, but I don't want to look like her not to sound rude, but I would understand their lifestyle. And then of course I went through my years of study. And then I've been working with physicians over 10 years now. So with all of those years of experience,

it just makes total sense to me to be at an optimal weight, but to know that an optimal weight aids in healthy aging. So one of the things, I mean, I love your five anchors because you mentioned this earlier, there's so much misinformation, but there's also just a ton of confusing information out there about nutrition and exercise. And I've come to believe there isn't a one size fits all type, you know, we're all unique beings. And, and so what I like about your anchors is that they apply across differences and that you include the me management maybe to account for some of those differences. So, um, you use the example of speaking up about what you're able to do or not able to do, whether it's temporarily or permanently, but talk to us about the me management as it relates to picking the activity movement exercises that fit you best or, you know, the nutrition,

how much wiggle room is there in that? Right. So, um, when you go through the course, it actually gives you good framework within each anchor. Okay. So do your best to think of it as, okay, I'm going to learn nutrition. I'm going to learn what good fitness for me looks like. I'm going to learn what good sleep looks like hydration. And then what me management is, is if you do all four amazing, but you're not managing your stress and you don't have a good practice in place for how to handle life's curve balls, if you will, then all four of those anchors may not make you feel good. Okay. I can't tell you how many women I'm working with right now. One wants to get pregnant, but she's a major producer for a network because of her stress

levels. We're just working on me management for the next month. Okay. Because she knows how to eat. I've been working with her for several months now. Okay. So it's not, it's not so much that she knows what to eat and she's mastering what to eat. It's just because she's stressed. That's triggering behaviors of not eating optimally. Yeah. I feel like for women stress is the least talked about contributor to deficiencies of our health. We focus so much on nutrition, what we eat and exercise. And that's not to say those aren't important. They certainly are. But you can do all of those things.

And if you're not managing your stress, it like that, that is a missing link. Would you agree? A hundred percent. And that's why I look at all five anchors is very important, but the me management is the one that's least talked about or worked on. I find it's so important to understand what that even is. We could talk about it all day long, stress management. You need to breathe more. You need to meditate. I feel that each individual needs to dabble in a bunch of stuff related to me management

to find what actually feels good for them. Okay. And what might feel good for you today, you might outgrow it in a month from now, but that's a good thing. It means you're growing. And we need to look at all of this as progression. Okay. The mind is very powerful. The mind plays these certain narratives about everything that we're approached with our careers, being a mother, being a sister, being a daughter. And if we're constantly living in our brain and we're not

living in our hearts and we don't even know what that looks like, then we're missing the ball and we're not going to have that fulfilling life. We're going to always turn to a vice that gives us fulfillment. And there's a lot of women, for example, drink a glass of wine to wind down for the day. That's what they hold. And I say to them, if that winds you down, if that's your signal to wind you down, then have your glass of wine. And they say to me, but you said alcohol is bad for you. And they get into that whole narrative. And I said, if alcohol is the one thing you're doing right now, then we could talk about that. But it seems to me that the other anchors are an area of

opportunity. So rather than get rid of the alcohol and change the diet and do the exercise, it's too much, right? Hey, let's, let's focus on one area at a time. Let's master it. And then let's see what you kind of get away with and see if the wine still fits your lifestyle. Yeah. I love that approach. And it also triggers a question or an observation and then a question. I think for a lot of women, it's not stress in one particular area. It's stress across the board. It's the combination of being a mom, a spouse, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a professional, all those things, the doing it all, being it all, having it all creates a lot of stress for us. And I know you've worked diligently to find that work mommy fit lifestyle. Can you give us some tips on what works for you in that? Absolutely. That's a very good question. I think right away, we need to say, how cool is

that, that we get to play so many roles in one life. Okay. It's changing the narrative as it's happening. Okay. If you're in that mindset of, oh my gosh, I have to do this. I have to do that. You're it's almost like, do you ever watch Bugs Bunny? And you know, the, the character's still fighting and then the character leaves, but the one character is still fighting and it's like, where'd he go? Okay. That's exactly what's happening with women is we're fighting ourselves. So you have to say to yourself in that moment, what, what am I doing right now? Like right now I'm talking to Nicole. Okay. If you look at my planner, I have a ton of stuff to do today, but if I focus on that, I'm going to be nuts. I'm not going to be focused on this conversation.

I am 150% committed to you right now in this space, even though both of my kids are probably waiting for me right now. My daughter who loves to play with me. I can't think about that right now. Okay. And that's not selfish of me. I think a lot of women feel they're supposed to feel guilt if they're not physically somewhere at a certain time, but guilt, what is that? It's a waste of energy. It's not even true. Okay. But we make it true cranially. And that's why I say we got to get out of our minds and get into our feelings. Cause if we want to feel good, then we need to choose to feel good with everything we do every single day. Yeah. What a great opportunity to, to just reframe it in that way. Not we have to, we get to,, you know, the setting aside of guilt is probably one of the

biggest opportunities for myself and so many of the women that I've worked with, because what you're doing is you're not being present because your brain, right, is telling you, you should be doing something else, or you should be somewhere, you should be focused. And what a gift it is that we get to spend this time together, focused on each other, talking about something we love. Why mess that up with the guilt of shoulda, coulda, woulda? It's irrelevant. This is where, you know, there's an expression, be where your feet are. I love that. I love that too. And you know what? I want to remind you and your listeners that we are still little girls and little boys. Okay. There's a little girl within me. And every single day that I feel a little off kilter, I check in with that little

girl and I pretend that I'm my own mommy. And I say, what do you need, honey? What are you missing right now in this space? And I give that to myself. Okay. I may not be able to go to the beach in that moment, even though sometimes I crave just getting my running shoes on, like I used to do before kids and just running my eight miles on the beach. That felt so damn good to me. I can't do that every day right now because I have other things going on.

So what I do is I grab my calendar. I grab my hubby and I'm like, Hey honey, when can I go for a run on the beach? Okay. And I put it on my calendar so I could see what fulfills me or in that moment made me feel great. Even though I was unable to do it in that moment. Yeah. I love that. Such good stuff. Um, so Jay-Z, will you tell us a little bit about your course and where to find it? So if our listeners want to register, where to go and how to access it. Absolutely. So it's jayzfitness.com. It's on my website.

And there's a third party company that hosts the course. But just to make it easy for everybody, just go to my website, Jay, in Jennifer Z as in zebra, jzfitness.com. And as you scroll on the homepage, you'll see the course you could enroll in it. And you just take one video at a time. I actually made the course very digestible. There's very short videos of me speaking. It's pretty entertaining actually is what I'm being told. The master's degree. I don't know how I attained it. You know, information can get so dry and so boring, but when you get information in a fun way, I feel that it's more absorbable and, you know, easy to follow.

So there's 27 videos. If you do one video a day, they're like 10 minutes each. It's very easy to follow it. I love that. And also in addition to your website, people can follow you on Instagram at jzfitnessnutrition, correct? Correct. Yes. Awesome. Thank you so much for joining us today. I loved our conversation. It could have gone on for hours, but I appreciate you and your perspective on this very important topic. Well, thank you so much for having me.

And your work is amazing too. So keep it up. Thank you. I appreciate it. All right. One of my big hopes for JJ and for myself, because let's be honest, when we wish something for someone we love, like our daughters or our sisters or our friends, it's a big hint of what we also wish for ourselves. That big wish is that

we love this home, this body we live in. Because while we can redecorate, we can't move. And because how you feel inside this temple will always matter more than what others think about it. Because our size and our weight should be some of the least interesting things about us. And because health comes in so many different packages, but we can't lie to ourselves about what's healthy for us and what isn't. How do you feel inside your home? How are you grateful for all of the amazing things your body does and can do. One of my favorite quotes said by an unknown person who I wish was known because I would love to hug and thank them,

says this, woman, you are more than eye candy and male intentions. You are a temple, a home, a sacred dwelling, and you should carry yourself like that. This, this quote, this challenge, this hope, this instruction, this is woman's work.