This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - 069 / Imposter Syndrome with Dr. Tega Edwin

Episode Date: September 29, 2021

We’re digging into a topic that frankly I’ve avoided on our podcast for almost 2 years: Imposter Syndrome. I’ve seen far too many women struggle with this (including myself) and I’m kind of pissed off about it. Research shows that approximately 70% of the population experiences it, and while men are susceptible, it’s most prevalent among women, and even more among women of color. I’m joined by Dr. Tega Edwin - Award Winning Career Development Researcher, Educator, Speaker, and Owner of Her Career Doctor, where she helps women get clear about who they are so they can find and thrive in fulfilling careers. Her knowledge, insights, and advice around moving through impostor syndrome is some of the best I’ve heard… you’re going to want to listen to this one more than once! To learn more about Dr. Tega Edwin please visit: www.hercareerdoctor.com For Tega’s free fulfilling career guide visit: https://hercareerdoctor.com/fulfilling-career-guide/ To learn more about what we are up to outside of this podcast, visit us at www.nicolekalil.com

Coming up on this episode of This Is Woman's Work. When you find that you regularly externalize success while internalizing mistakes and failures, that's a sign that you struggle with imposter syndrome. How do you know when the thoughts in your head are real, valid, rational, and should be listened to versus when they're head trash and should be totally tossed out? How can you tell the difference between when to cut yourself some slack when you're doing something new or hard versus when you should actually hold yourself to the standard of competence, being ready, or being an expert. And what's the difference between being humble, confident, growth-oriented, and self-aware versus being a perfectionist or living in constant doubt or fear that you're too much of this or too little of that. If overconfidence, arrogance,

and narcissism are on one end of the spectrum and constant self-doubt, persistent fear and anxiety around failure, imposter syndrome are on another end of that spectrum, then how do we find a healthy place for ourselves in the middle? I am Nicole Khalil, and today we're going to dig into a topic that frankly I've avoided on our podcast for almost two years, imposter syndrome. I mean, how do I have a podcast designed for working women without covering this topic? Research shows that approximately 70% of the population experiences it. And while men are also susceptible, it's most prevalent among women and even more in women of color. And there are many reasons why I haven't tackled this topic yet, but mostly it's because I've witnessed far too many highly capable, talented, and

impressive women struggle with it. And frankly, I'm kind of pissed off about it. Is imposter syndrome really a woman's problem? Is it really our problem? Or is it mostly a problem that the environments that we work out of work, create and built for women and underrepresented groups in the first place? And because of my own frustration and experience, I wanted to make sure to tackle this subject with the right person, and I believe I found her. Dr. Tega Edwin is an award-winning career development researcher, educator, and speaker, as well as the owner of Her Career Doctor, where she helps women get

clear about who they are so they can find and thrive in fulfilling careers. Not only is she a licensed professional counselor, she's also a certified salary negotiation facilitator. So not only is she helping women to get connected to their confidence in their careers, she's also making sure they get paid for it. Dr. Edwin, thank you so much for joining us today. I cannot wait to tackle this very complex, but very important topic of imposter syndrome. My pleasure, Nicole. And thank you for having

me on your platform. I'm really looking forward to chatting with you also. It is my pleasure. So I have found most women when we say imposter syndrome, like kind of nod their head, like, oh, I know what that is, right? How do you define imposter syndrome? What are we actually talking about here? Yeah, for sure. And I love that you start with that question because just like a background before I answer, I think in our current day and age, imposter syndrome is a term that has been bastardized a little bit, right? A lot of people are using it when they're experiencing some natural, you know, maybe anxiety or nerves. And so I think it's clear to first state that imposter syndrome actually used to be known as

imposter phenomenon. And this came out of research. So it was two psychologists back in, I think, 1963 or something. I might have that date wrong, but two female psychologists who actually did research and out of the research, the phenomenon came up, right? So they didn't go into the research saying, let's find this imposter thing. It came naturally. So it's an actual psychological construct. Now that being said, when I define it, I like to define imposter syndrome as a pattern of thinking where you don't believe you are as competent as other people believe you to be or perceive you to be, right? So it's a state where you constantly doubt yourself, you doubt your successes, you doubt your ability to perform in a role or even complete a task despite evidence to the contrary. And I think that's the key thing, right? Is that even when there's evidence to the contrary, you still constantly doubt yourself

and it can certainly impact, negatively impact you and your career in a number of ways. I love how you frame that. It's so important. It's despite the evidence to the contrary, right? It's that constant focus on the fears and doubts outside of what might be normal. So let's talk about that a little bit. When is it real or, and I put in air quotes, normal, and when is it just complete crap, right? So like if I'm brand new to a job or I just got a promotion, I would think it'd be fairly normal to have some doubts or to have some things that you might not be totally competent in yet, or that you need to learn or whatever. So that's not what we're talking about when we talk about imposter syndrome or is it? No, it definitely is not. And you're right. You know, and that's why I said it's been

bastardized a little bit because when you start something new, especially if it's something you haven't done before, if you don't feel, you know, a certain level of butterflies in your stomach, then something's, something's off somewhere. It's what you were saying in the introduction, right? Are you overcompensating? Are you walking in with too much confidence where you're not really judging yourself, right? Like we all, there's just a little inkling of doubt. Yes, you might be confident in your ability to perform, but I think there's that anxiety of just what is, it sounds like the first day of school, right? Like what is today going to be like? That is normal. And as you're getting your feet wet, as you're trying to understand an organization, your role, your responsibilities, it's natural to fumble a little bit, to feel like,

oh, am I doing the right thing? Am I moving in the right way? And what happens is over time, as you start getting feedback, whether it's from yourself internally or externally, as you start getting feedback that you are on the right track, and you start to sort of firm up in the fact that you know what you're doing, and then you keep moving and keep growing in your career. Which means if we listen to that definition, at multiple stages, whether you are fresh from undergrad, fresh from grad, you know, first year, five year, 10 year, as you get new opportunities, those feelings of, oh, do I know what I'm doing, will come up. And those are absolutely normal. Imposter syndrome, on the other hand, and so one of the landmarks that I like to

point out for it is when you find that you regularly externalize success while internalizing mistakes and failures, that's a sign that you struggle with imposter syndrome. And so what I say is, for example, if someone you did, so that's that same new job scenario, right? You started the job and then, okay, the anxiety was there a little bit, but then as you start going on, maybe your manager says, oh, great job on that presentation today. Or a teammate says, oh, I really like how you did that report. And every time those come in, you're like, oh, I just threw that together. Oh, that, no, it wasn't me.

The team helped. Like you push away success. And then when something goes wrong, when they say, oh, you know, that client call didn't go the way we wanted it to, you go back and you're self-flagellating. It's, oh my gosh, I'm terrible. I made a mistake. They know I'm not supposed to be here. This is all terribly, horribly wrong. Is this every time something goes wrong, it's you.

You are the problem. And every time something goes right, something, some stroke of luck, chance, somebody else was the reason for your successes. That's a landmark that you struggle with imposter syndrome because it's this idea that you live in this constant state of being found out. You believe that you don't belong where you are

and people are going to one day look up and realize they made a mistake giving you this opportunity, which means that every time something goes wrong, it's evidence of that belief you have that you're going to be found out. And every time something goes right, it's, oh, that couldn't possibly be true because I'm not supposed to be here and they're going to find me out. Yeah. Oh gosh. I, nobody can see me, but I was nodding the entire time that you're talking. And I think that landmark is, is a phenomenal way to view it, right? If, if it's always, when something good happens, it's always luck or someone else or the team or, you know, whatever.

But when something bad happens and it's not even just that it's you, it's that you personalize it. Not I did this thing badly. It's I'm bad, or I was wrong, or I made a mistake about this as opposed to I'm wrong, or I'm the mistake. Yeah. That really resonated with me as a way to differentiate when you're in, you know, kind of the normal, typical learning phase or when you're in imposter syndrome. So let's talk a little bit about this and leadership. I've read a ton of leadership books that basically say, give credit, take blame, or some version of that, like good leaders when you're succeeding, give the credit to the team. And then good leaders also, when something goes wrong, are responsible. Now this kind of sounds like it might be setting us up a little bit for imposter

syndrome. What are your thoughts on that? And maybe the differences between what leadership and imposter syndrome. Yeah. And, you know, I don't think I've heard that at least I don't do leadership trainings those that way. And that's because one thing that I often tell, you know, I don't think I've heard that. At least I don't do leadership trainings that way. And that's because one thing that I often tell, you know, my executive coaching clients, because they'll try to do some variation of, oh, There's a certain level of, yeah, my team is awesome and great. And at the same time, so it's not a but, and at the same time, there's a high chance that without me at the helm of this ship, their greatness wouldn't have come out, right? Because one of the landmarks of a great leader is they pull out the awesomeness out of other people. And so I know that if I'm doing my job well as a good leader, yeah, my team should be doing great, because I'm helping them. I may be emphasizing their strengths. I'm helping them navigate weaknesses or areas of growth.

And so those two things are not mutually exclusive. I can take responsibility for my role in helping my team be successful while also giving my team credit for all the hard work they put in to helping us be successful. Those two things can happen. And then at the same time on the blame end, yeah, I can take, and it's what you were saying, I can take responsibility without me being the problem. Oh man, I didn't communicate well. And so as a team, we fell short. I'm going to try to communicate better. Sounds very different from, I am so terrible at communicating. I'm just the worst. I never communicate right. It's all me. It's all me. It's all me. Two very different languages. I can take responsibility as a leader whilst in terms of saying, this is where we went wrong. This is what I'm going to do better. And still walk out

of there feeling like I'm still a great leader because I've learned from this moment and I know how I will be a better leader after this moment, whatever it may be that we have had. So that's how I would, I think, reckon those two things. I love that. It's really reframing it as growth and the and versus the or, right? So I have a great team and I play a part in that, right? Exactly. Yeah. So all great things. If we go back to what you said earlier about this fear of being found out, right? Like this, at some point they're going to see that I'm not capable or competent or whatever the case may be. I'm curious your thoughts on how much of that is an us thing, like a fear and doubt and perfectionism and all the things. And how much of that is a product of the environments that we're working in?

I do believe we as women, especially underrepresented groups of women, the places, the cultures, the corporations that we're often working out of or in, we're not designed with our success in mind. And I do think in a lot of ways, people are working on that, hopefully, but I guess how do we differentiate between I'm feeling imposter syndrome versus my environment makes me feel like I'm going to be exposed or that I need to be hyper capable or hyper competent, or that if I make a mistake, I'm representative of not just myself, but my, you know, help us think through how to navigate that. I would say, you know, it's a combination of both. More often than not, it's almost always a combination of both where there is some internal thought patterns that have embedded themselves in us over time, whether it be because of our

family dynamics growing up, whether it's perfectionism, whether it's the fact that we represent an entire cultural group, or if we're maybe we're prone to comparing ourselves with people often, those sometimes are internal. And at the same time, so it's back to that and, and at the same time, more often than not, what the environments we're in do is the environments exacerbate some of those natural inclinations that maybe we had on the onset. One example I remember, so I talked about this back in March, and one example I brought up was, so like you said, or like we said earlier, imagine you start this new job where you're feeling a little bit of, you know, the nerves of first day of school, first day of work nerves. What you see in most workplaces, so let's just

take the sense that a man and a woman start this new job at the same time and they both start uh feeling these both two of them the normal natural let me see if i know what i'm doing um although for men usually they just come in thinking they know what they're doing but let's just assume they're both having these these emotions yeah what you tend to see in corporate spaces is as they move up in their work the man gets more validated in his capability in his work in his and this is whether by nature of the way he presents or by nature of the other people that surround him the man tends to get more validated which means he's likely to one very more quickly end up in a space of just

thinking, oh, I know what I'm doing. I got this. And then just kind of soar from there. While the woman tends to hear constant, either she's hearing the doubt or she's not getting feedback at all. And so she's assuming because of those are those inborn ways of thinking, because no one is given the validation. And I see this with my clients, then the automatic assumption she has internally is, oh crap, I'm doing a terrible job because no one has told me I'm doing a good job. And so that can then exacerbate those feelings of imposter syndrome. And then now to your point, it definitely is worse. I always say, you know, we can never underestimate how much racism and sexism feed into imposter syndrome, right? In a society where women are told, whether directly

or indirectly, that their role is in the home or in the kitchen or in the bedroom, where women are told that their emotions make them unfit for leadership, where Black, Indigenous, and Black and Brown women are often told that maybe they're lazy indirectly. And it might be, oh, you're so articulate for a Black woman, or oh, you're so hardworking for a brown woman, however they say it. But indirectly, they're being told that they're lazy, or they're often bullied, diminished, and questioned at every turn. So when they're leaders, people are questioning them. When they start, people are questioning if they belong. Why wouldn't women constantly feel like imposters when every time they do something that is a major accomplishment, it is directly contradictory to the pervasive messages they receive that they don't belong in these workspaces, right?

It's like, if you think about the whole idea of just the word at the very base definition, imposter, right? So not the, you know, scientific definition I gave at the beginning. An imposter is someone who doesn't belong, right? And so when you work in a space, and for and brown women I often think if there are no other women who look like you either in the company in leadership in as you grow as you look up you don't see any other black and brown female leaders why would you think you belonged when there's no representation of the fact that you belonged and same can go for white women too like if you work in a company where you look up the entire board of directors are all men

older white men if we're being very specific you know what I mean and so that's how and what And same can go for white women. If you work in a company where you look up, the entire board of directors are all men. Older white men, if we're being very specific. You know what I mean? And so that's how, and what happens is the environment can exacerbate thoughts and doubts that you might have already walked in with in terms of, oh, do I really belong here? I often think of when sometimes black and brown women will get told that they're a diversity hire.

So when someone is outrightly coming and telling you oh you only got this because of this identity that you have that's so seed of doubt and then a lot of workplaces are just generally toxic and we think of just managers and leaders who um either often traumatize or re-traumatize their colleagues and so it's as you go on in that workplace, nothing is happening to validate your belonging in the workplace. And so those thoughts then fester and foster into those feelings of imposterism. Oh God, so many good things in there. I want to kind of go through a few of them. Number one, you said something earlier that I think the research backs up is that men, if you take

two people starting the same position at the same time, one, a man, one, a woman, the man is going to start and lead with confidence where it overemphasize maybe their confidence, right? Like I got this, right? Whereas a woman will overemphasize their competence, which you can't have day one, right? You can't, I mean, you can have some competence, but if you're trying a new job or a new position or a new role, there, there is an element of newness. And so we almost start at an uneven point.

The other thing, and I don't, I'm thinking out loud, so forgive me if I mess this up, but you had given the example for Black and Brown women, the example of being told they're articulate. It's really interesting. I actually had a conversation with a black woman on the podcast and I was floored, like so impressed at how articulate she is because I admire that quality doing a podcast, being a speaker. I can't tell you how many times I struggle to find the word or whatever. And she just spoke so well. And I like had that, like, gosh, I want to give her the feedback. She's articulate compared to everybody. Period. But then she, when we talked about it, she's like, well, I, I felt like I had to be, I

had to be more articulate than my male counterparts, than white women in order to feel that I would get the respect or the opportunities or whatever. And it just like, it's this vicious cycle. And then one of the other things that you said is I'm not getting the validation. Is it fair to say that there's almost in some cases, an absence of feedback, good or bad with women? And is it because people are afraid to give us feedback? Why do you think that occurs you know just more often dismissed yeah whether consciously or subconsciously um people most men you know that i'm never going to say all right there's some very you know

aware and enlightened but even here's let me even back up because even other women yeah i'm more likely to dismiss a woman in the presence of a man right so it's not it's not i'm not saying the gender thing women are just more likely to be dismissed especially in in um professional spaces right so if i think of so to the first thing you were saying right so you had that that um guest who you said was very articulate and yeah you know you know, Black and Brown women often go in, Black and Brown people, let me just say period, often go in feeling like they have to do more to experience an equal level of success. And that's because in their history, they found that

you can't get away with the bare minimum, right? Because that dismissal already happens based on if you go back to Black and Brown women, based on your gender, and then to add your race on top of it. And so I think that women often one don't get feedback because they tend to be dismissed too, because they don't often ask for it or, and I, when I say ask directly ask, or even position themselves to get it. So the example, I love, I always give this example. I don't know. It came to me like one time, like years ago, and I always use it. And I talk about how you could be in a meeting with a bunch of people, and there could be a man who in my head is always a white man who, you know, when they're doing the check-ins, he will tell you how, so maybe he was about to get on an elevator and he held the door

open for people to get on. And in the meeting without being asked, he will tell you how, so maybe he was about to get on an elevator and he held the door open for people to get on. And in the meeting, without being asked, he would tell you, y'all, do you know what I did today? I mean, he probably wouldn't say it that way, but I held the door open and all these women got on and nobody got hurt. I am so great at holding doors open. That was something that I did today, right? He will clearly tell you this awesome thing he did by holding the door open.

And in that same meeting, the woman who built the elevator will stay quiet. She won't bring it up because in her head, it's bragging. She's supposed to think about everybody else's feelings. She's supposed to be humble. Oh, it's so uncouth to do that. And so she'll stay quiet while this man is bragging about holding the door. Meanwhile, the person who built it is in the same meeting. And I think that trait that some women have tends to then add to that people's already natural inclination to dismiss them. And so they don't get that feedback.

They don't get feedback if they did it. Again, unless you have, you know, there's some very aware managers and leaders who have gone through enough training to understand the importance of feedback for building their teams. But not everybody gets promoted based on their management skills. It's usually because of technical skills. And so they might not recognize the power of feedback and how to get feedback. And so I think women often lose that piece for multiple reasons. They don't position themselves to get it. People dismiss them. People don't have the training for how to do it. I think it's just a host of confluence of various factors. Yeah. And as you were talking, I was thinking too, feedback is, is really our perspective on something or someone, right? So

if you're a woman and in a lot of cases, your boss or mentor superior might be a man more common than not a white man. And if there is going to be feedback about your work, he's going to be thinking about it or looking through his lens. Right. So I can remember being told, you know, that I was a little too emotional. And it's like from that lens, from their experience, from what works for them, right, even the feedback they would give might not be productive. And you know, what's interesting, there's, I don't know, it was a while ago, that I saw the study of that was recently done on types of feedback that was received. And what they saw was that just generally, it might have been a Gallup, or maybe it was Forbes, but men generally get more productive feedback than women in the workplace,

in the sense of, you know, there could be two men that we both, no, sorry, a man and a woman, where they say, okay, maybe the presentation was terrible. What you'll find, though, is the man will then get feedback on how to do it better, and the woman will not. So just generally, even in how feedback is presented in the workplaces, the way men and women get feedback is different. Okay. So it's complex for sure. So I talk a lot about confidence as it relates to gender equity as an opportunity. And I always say it's so complicated and there's so much, and it's so big and it's so hard. And I always say it's so complicated and there's so much and it's so big and it's so hard. And I know that confidence isn't the problem and I know it's not the solution. It's just a place where I feel I can be relevant.

It's a small piece that I feel like I can offer my part. Yeah, I do something right. Um, so if we think about imposter syndrome for a second from that lens, what can we individually as women do about it? What can we do to overcome it? What can we do to be better at letting it go? What are some tactics, thoughts that will make it so that we don't let imposter syndrome, to the extent we can control it for ourselves, run rampant in our lives? Did I? Yeah. Yeah. I think I got that. And there are a few things you can do, um, as, as when the, we, as people can do to, to navigate imposter syndrome. The first one I would say, stop aiming for perfection. Like, and that's because I'm, if your audience is anything like my clients, it's a bunch of perfectionists who

have these super, super duper unattainable high standards for themselves. And actually one of the types of, cause there are different types of imposter syndrome, that's another conversation, but one of the types of imposter syndrome is the perfectionist is because it's because of the way perfectionists are set up you have and establish these high standards for yourself but because you're a perfectionist whenever you meet them it's never good nothing will ever be good enough because you want it to be perfect and perfection is hard to attain so you for yourself internally keep shifting your standards and so every time you don't meet it internally, it's a validation of the fact

that you are an imposter, right? I set the standard. I didn't meet it. Dang it. They're going to find out I'm a fraud. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't belong here. And so the very first thing I say, just stop aiming for perfection. I'm always one who would tout the idea of progress over perfection. The other is welcome and expect praise. So the other thing I talked about how the person who struggled with imposter syndrome often deflects positive feedback. And so one of the things you can do is expect that positive feedback. And when it comes, just say, thank you. Thank you is a complete sentence, right? Not the, oh, no, it was just the whole team chipped in and we all, no, just start

with a simple thank you and see if they follow up. If they don't, okay, conversation over. If they do, then maybe you can give a bit more context, but welcome the praise and expect the praise. Another thing that showed up when we're talking earlier is reframing your mistakes as learning opportunities. And I intentionally use that word. I don't like to use the word failure and not because there's nothing wrong with the word, but I know that too many people hear it and immediately internalize it, which is why I like to stay away from it because I don't think enough people have a healthy relationship with the word failure. Like there's just this very toxic relationship with it. So I tend to just go to mistake. But I remember I once saw a graphic that had the word fail, F-A-I-L, and it was an acronym.

And the acronym said, first attempt in learning. I was like, yes, that is exactly what a failure is. It's a chance for you to learn. I think it was maybe Thomas Edison, somebody, some old inventor said, you know, I did not fail a thousand times. I have found a thousand ways in which it doesn't work when he was trying to invent something. So it's like, if we can just reframe mistakes as learning opportunities, okay, what can I learn from this? You can feel the emotion shortly and then move into learning mode. Don't internalize it.

That helps because what happens is if we keep seeing failures as this internal verification of who we are as people, that means every time we fail, it's evidence that we are frauds, that we don't belong, that we're not good enough. But if we switch it and we start seeing it as learning opportunities, then each time, because failures are natural, right? They're not going to stop happening. So each time that failure happens, that mistake happens, your brain needs to automatically start thinking, okay, what can I do better next time? What can I learn from this without internalizing it as your identity? And part of that is even challenging your negative self-talk. So that's an, I would say that's the fourth thing I would share is challenge your negative self-talk. Because a lot of times imposter syndrome comes from

beliefs that maybe we adopted early on in our lives or in our careers and so one thing I always talk about is this idea of it's important that we all engage in metacognition so thinking about your thinking and listening to what you tell yourself um you know if you talk to yourself in a way that's very trash right like if you talk to yourself in a way that you would never talk to a friend or a loved one you're doing yourself a disservice because you spend the most time with yourself. So what are you telling yourself? Are you constantly telling yourself that you don't belong, that you're not good enough, that you're a fraud, that you will be found out? If you are, those thoughts are only going to exacerbate the imposterism that you already feel.

So it's important that you start affirming yourself. I do belong. They hired me because they need me. I am a valid addition to my team, right? Like I, and I always, I tell people often like companies are not altruistic, unless they're a nonprofit. If they hired you, you're going to make them money somehow. They hired you to do a job. Like they didn't hire you out of pity. They hired you because they need you to do a job, right? And so just take a step back from that logical sense and realize that if you are there, you belong there.

I tell people all the time, stop trying to prove yourself for a job that you already have. If you're in the room, you belong in the room. Once you're there, you should start envisioning the next phase of your career and starting to prove yourself for the next thing. You already conquered this position you're in. And so what are you telling yourself? What are the messages you're feeding yourself?

And how can you challenge those? So those are just like five, I think four, actually I said four, four quick things I would share in terms of what can you do if you're someone who often struggles with feelings of belonging and feeling like a fraud. If it was appropriate for this format, I would give you a standing ovation. So many good things in there. So as it relates to confidence, I always say that perfectionism and head trash, the voice in our heads are our two biggest confidence derailers. And I've actually reframed failure as a confidence builder, if you choose it, if you let it, and this idea of that, it's a gift, an opportunity, a lesson. And there is, you know, no chance of achieving success or confidence without mistakes, but we are not our mistakes. And so, oh God, there's so much good stuff in there. I'm going

to listen to that part over and over myself. Okay. I wish we had way more time, but I want to make sure our listeners have an opportunity to find you. So your website is hercareerdoctor.com. So spelled out it's H E R C A R E E R D O C T O R. So it's all spelled out hercareerdo doctor.com, or you can follow her on Instagram, her career doctor, Dr. Tega. So T E G A Edwin E D W I N on other platforms like LinkedIn, I would assume you have a free fulfilling career guide on your website, which we'll put in our show notes. And you also

have, you said career affirmation cards on mycareeraffirmations.com. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Yeah. You know, when I talk about that self-talk piece, right? Like, so catching the self-talk oftentimes we have these limiting beliefs that drive those feelings of imposterism. And, you know, sometimes people talk about catching your thoughts, controlling your thoughts, but I'm a firm believer that it's not enough to simply control them. You have to replace them with something else because when you catch it, there's now a vacuum where those thoughts were. And so you have to replace them with liberating career beliefs. And the whole point of these affirmation cards is to give you liberating beliefs that you can start to adopt for yourself in your career, right? So when I talked about saying things like, I belong here,

I'm a valid addition to my team, you know, my career choices will work out. Those are some of the kind of words that I have put on these luxurious, gorgeous cards just to help women start to adopt some beliefs. Because sometimes it can be hard to think, okay, how do I affirm myself, right? What are some things I can say? It can be hard to come up with that off the cuff, especially if you've lived 20, 30, 40 years telling yourself that you're not good enough. And so I wanted to create an easy way for women to start adopting some more liberating beliefs that allows them to step into confidence in their careers. I love that so much. And with so many holidays coming up, I'm going to suggest this as a great, phenomenal, empowering gift for the women, the working women that you love. So go to mycareeraffirmations.com and order one, not just for yourself, but for the other women in your life. Thank you so much, Tega, for your wisdom, your time, and your knowledge on such an important topic that I hope we all learn to let go of a little bit and step into our confidence and

all the amazing things that you said. So thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me on here. It was wonderful chatting with you. It was my pleasure. A loving reminder that it is perfectly normal to have doubt and fears for a limited time. And those butterflies are totally normal. Like when you're starting a new job or taking on a new role. But if it's been a lifelong or career-long experience for you, I invite you to let it go. I know that's easier said than done, but I also know it can be done. Begin by acknowledging and celebrating your wins and your successes. You are so much more than you've been giving yourself credit for. Make sure you're working in an environment that's healthy

for you. And if you're not, start a plan to change, find, or create one. Set and communicate your boundaries. Set realistic and meaningful expectations for yourself. Take some action and some small risks. Say thank you when you're praised. Make some mistakes so you know you can and will recover, and so that you can experience that you are so much more than your mistakes. Ask for support. Ask for feedback. Nobody does it alone. And please know that the opposite of imposter syndrome is arrogance. The antidote is confidence. So build your confidence. It's a skill that you can develop anytime you want. And sure, it takes time, but it is worth every second. Let's begin to set aside imposter syndrome in favor of confidence, because this is woman's worth.