This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - 078 / Your Plan Of Action

Episode Date: January 5, 2022

In today’s episode we are going to talk about how you can build and execute on a plan of action. I’m sharing a process and a practice that I’ve created by combining what I’ve experienced from business planning, financial planning, and that family planning process that Jay and I use, and what I know to be true about confidence building. There are mountains of statistics and evidence that support that planning does work, but we often don’t make the time for it in our lives. There already exists a plan and a purpose for you. Will you take just a few minutes to connect to it? To ask yourself what’s true and what matters. To be able to answer this question: What is it that you plan to do with your one, wild and precious life? Because whatever the answer is for you, is how YOU do Woman’s Work. Click HERE to download YOUR New Year Plan of Action. To learn more about what we are up to outside of this podcast, visit us at NicoleKalil.com

Coming up on this episode of This Is Woman's Work, you are an individual and a whole human, and it's not only okay, but vital that you also focus on what you want, who you wanna be, and how you get to grow. Happy New Year, and welcome to our first episode in 2022. I am Nicole Kalil, your host, here to redefine with you what it means to be doing woman's work. In today's episode, we're going to talk about how you can build and execute on a plan of action. This is certainly the time of new year's resolutions, business plans, and annual goal setting. So I'm sort of jumping on the bandwagon here,

but with some tweaks that I believe to be important, especially for women. New year, new you, right? Absolutely not. That's totally wrong. New year, same you. But I'm going to encourage you to love her even better. So how do we do that? Well, I'm going to share a process and a practice that I've created by combining what I've experienced from business planning, financial planning, and that family planning process that Jay and I use and what I know to be true about confidence building. There are mountains of statistics and evidence that support that planning does work, but we often don't make the time for it for our own lives. I know so many of you have already done and are doing family planning with

your significant other, and I love that. But I've also heard from those of you who are not married, don't have kids, are divorced, or are single parents saying that my family planning agenda and episode three on this topic and that whole process isn't actually helpful for you. And you're right. And I appreciate you giving me that feedback. plan of action process and agenda that I hope will support any woman, really any person to reflect, to hope, to plan, and to get into action toward whatever truly matters to you. A quick note to those of you who are married or do have kids that you are also an individual and a whole human. And it's not only okay, but vital that you also focus on what you want, who you want to be and how you get to grow. Yeah. Because taking care of you may make you better for others, but mostly because it's okay for you to do something just for you. Not because it'll make

you a better mom, spouse, friend, sibling, daughter, or professional, which it will, but because you don't need any freaking justifications, you are worth caring for all on your own. So my hope is this can be for every woman, every woman with a purpose, which means you. This plan of action includes five categories, five parts, and I will share some stories and examples to help you along. But I also wanted to give you some tips on how to do this, like logistically. In order to set yourself up for the greatest value and enjoyment, here are a few of those logistical tips.

And I would, as always, tell you to use what works for you and ignore all the rest. So my first tip is to carve out as much time as you can and make it special. You're probably listening right now while you're in your car or on a walk or while checking something off your to-do list, or maybe even during a workout. I love that you're bringing me along for the ride. And by the way, do some extra crunches for me. But your first listen is an opportunity to think about this at a high level. So conceptually you get the idea, but as soon as you can block off some time in your calendar where you can put pen to paper

or fingers to keyboard. For those of you who don't still rely on post-it notes to organize their life. Like I do make an appointment with yourself. Find or create a quiet space. Block an hour or two if you can swing it. A half day or an overnight getaway even better. Better yet, make that appointment with a close friend or family member. Turn it into a girl's night or a girl's trip or get a group of close colleagues together. Make it special in some way that excites you. I'm doing this by meeting one of my best friends for a three-night getaway, which will include lots of planning mixed in with great food and a bit of wine and an abundant amount of love and encouragement.

I believe my friend Kim can do literally anything she sets her mind to. And I'm going to tell her that every single chance I get. I can't wait. And I'm grateful that we get to do this. But if that doesn't speak to you or it doesn't work in your calendar, do what does work or take yourself to your favorite quiet place with a journal and the agenda I've created and let's get planning. My second how-to tip is to think outside of the box of a traditional 12-month year.

Find a time frame that's meaningful or motivating to you. Maybe you take it a month at a time or focus on a specific quarter or pick some other time frame that actually matters to you. And my third logistical tip is to use the agenda as a tool, not an assignment. You'll notice there are many questions within each of the five sections. And if you have the time and desire to do it all, that's awesome. But if you want to pick a few sections or a few questions that feel right for you, that's awesome too. There's no good or bad way to do this. There's no great at the end and perfection isn't an available option anyway. So trust yourself and know that one step at a time is a great way to do just about anything.

Okay. So I've mentioned the agenda a couple of times. Let's dive into it and know that it's available for free to download at NicoleKhalil.com. We're also going to be emailing it out and posting it on social media so you can find it just about anywhere. The first section of our plan of action is designed to focus on you and only you. I called it my life, my year. So you can hone in on the growth goals and commitments that matter to you. This is not that new year, new you thing. This is about loving yourself better than ever, which by the way, is my only new year's resolution. This section is about

connecting to your confidence consistently. And really the simplest way to define confidence is to trust yourself. And the questions here are designed to do just that. For example, one of the questions asks, how will you take care of your self? How will you honor your mind, your body, and your spirit? I know this can be a tough one for many women because we're often focused on what we can do for others or who we need to be for someone else. It's also tough because we each have our own ways of doing this that come easier or we're more practiced in than others. For example, I know there are plenty of women who exercise religiously consistently and without dread. They enjoy working out and I'm in awe of that because that's never really happened for me.

2021 was a big year for choosing to take care of my body. And I'm happy to say that I did work out three to four times every week with the exception of a couple of weeks. I didn't enjoy any of it though when I was doing it, but I do love the trust it's created within myself, the feeling of strength and pride in the progress that I've made, and the fact that I am increasing my probability and the ability to live a longer and healthier life. And it's getting easier, but it's still not easy for me. So when I see the question, mind, body, and spirit, it's easy for me to try to avoid the body part and focus on the mind part. And as you look at the question, notice if you default to answers that are more comfortable, more practiced or

easier for you. Again, that mind part just comes more naturally to me because I love to read. I'm constantly engaged in coaching and training and learning, but we are all made up of mind, body, and spirit. So I'd ask us all to think more holistically about our answers and not just default to what we're already focused on or what might come easier. In most cases, I'd submit to you that we would be better served if we were doing even just a little in all three of those categories than if we were fully invested in just one. So in this first section, you'll connect to your confidence, connect to who you are and your superpowers.

You'll think about how you're gonna use those in your life, in your work, in your relationships. Yes, you're gonna reflect on how you can care for yourself and think about maybe a mantra or an affirmation, what you're going to do when your head trash kicks in and how you're going to set up your environment. This first section is really about you. Let it be about you. Section two is titled My Work Matters because it's an opportunity for you to cast your professional vision. I'd ask you to think about the ways what you do for a living makes a difference. This can be a difference to

a few people or to many. And don't think for a second that if your work only impacts a few people that it doesn't count. It absolutely does. And because it's a professional section, it does ask about your goals, results, achievements, and opportunities. It asks you to think about the investments you might need to make with your time or your money. It asks you to consider the resources you might need, like mentoring, sponsorship, coaching, training, certifications. It hopefully will inspire you to think about and plan for any setbacks or mistakes or failures, because when you're doing big things, those things are bound to happen. Having a plan in place really helps get to the other side of those quickly. One section though, that I did want

to hone in on is when I ask you to consider who is it that you serve and in what ways do you serve them? The only thing I know for sure is there is one wrong answer and a ton of right answers. Whatever is true for you is fine here, but the one wrong answer, the one answer that does not work to the question, who do you serve is everyone. You are not meant for everyone and everyone is not meant for you. And I know that with every part of my being. Now, this example might speak more to the business owners or entrepreneurs that are listening, but conceptually, I'd ask for you to think about it no matter what you do for work. There are 330 million people that live in the United States. So if we're just looking at this country alone, if 1% of these people were to become a client and invest $50 with you, so not even a huge buy,

right? You would make $165 million. If 0.1% of the population of the United States decided to work with you and invest that same $50, you'd make $16.5 million. Said another way, 99.9% of this country can think you're a complete hack. They cannot get you. They could not give a shit about what you do. They could never want to work with you. And you would still be a multimillionaire. The biggest mistake I see women would make is they try to appeal to and serve everyone. The real question is, can you find the 0.1% of the population that are your people, that get you, that want what you have to offer, that are passionate about what you're passionate about.

Find your people professionally. This goes if you're an employee, if you're thinking about your boss, your company, your culture, your environment, there is an abundant amount of options available. And I know that's not true for everybody, but I'm hoping that's true for you listening. Stop trying to serve everyone. Who are your people? In the third section called my worth, my value, my money, I ask that you get connected to and empowered by your personal finances. Now, this may seem scary to a few of you, and that's okay. Most of these questions are what I consider self-explanatory, but if any of them feel overwhelming or finance just isn't your area

of expertise or your strength, get referred to a good financial advisor. Not everybody needs to be an expert in finance, but every one of you deserves to have a financial plan. So I ask you to do a dive into your budget and spending. What do you want to be saving for? Where might you want to spend less? What are some long-term goals as well as some short-term goals? What percent of your income are you saving or should you be saving? Any big budget items that you should be planning for, like a home improvement or travel or buying a new car as examples? Are there any charitable organizations you want to give to of your time and or money? One section that I did want to dig a little bit deeper into, because I got a lot of questions about it in the family planning agenda, is what your plan is for any surplus income. Your day-to-day budget and expenses should align with your steady income.

That might be your paycheck if you're an employee or if you are a business owner, whatever you pay yourself on a monthly or semi-monthly basis. You want your day-to-day living to be covered by your consistent income. In most cases, that might not be totally true for every person, but in most cases, what I invite you to do here is think about what is your plan for any surplus income? This could be if you got a raise or a bonus or commissions you weren't expecting, or if you have a side hustle, or if your business is profitable above and beyond what you planned for, these are those extra boosts of income that come in that if you don't have a plan for often end up getting spent

and you end up feeling frustrated or resentful about what you did with the money. Having a plan in place and knowing that that's going to happen, putting it out there in the universe, I think is a phenomenal idea. So there are some examples here. Definitely pay your taxes first if it's not already taken out of that surplus income. Focus on paying off any high interest debt. Looking at that is always a good start. But I would encourage you to save at least 20% for your long-term goals like retirement or college funding if you have kids. Generally speaking, because of my background in financial services, I know we should be saving about 20% of our income. I also know almost none of us are doing that. And so when we get this surplus income,

it's a really good opportunity to play a little bit of catch up. So definitely set aside at least 20%. But if you can do more, as an example, when I have surplus income like that, I try to take 50% of it and save towards retirement or some big future goal. Now, to be clear, I do not save 50% of my regular income. That would be awesome, but that is not happening. So this is, again, that surplus additional income that might come along in the year. Whatever you do from a percentage standpoint, whether it's paying off debt or saving for long-term or short-term goals, have a percent be set aside for you to spend. Have some fun with that surplus. Spend a little bit of that bonus or that commission. Do something that has you enjoy that surplus income, but don't spend it all. Have a plan in place and divvy up

what percent is going to go where. So when the money comes to you, you know what to do with it and you'll feel great about it. Okay, on to section four, which encourages you to think about how to invest your most valuable commodity, which is your time. In this section, my time reveals my priorities. I give you the opportunity to consider who and what gets your time to think about where you might be wasting it and to consciously choose, consciously think about where you want to be spending your time, investing your time instead of just defaulting to yes all the time and ending up burnt out, used up, resentful, and just fucking exhausted. I ask you to think about what you've always wanted to do,

but never seem to have enough time for, to consider things you may want to add to your daily or weekly or morning routine, thinking about what gives you energy so that you can be your best more often. I encourage you to have some fun, but most importantly, I want you to really be thinking about what boundaries are important for you to keep and in what situations where your boundaries likely be challenged or tested and how you will communicate your boundaries. If you need some support in this area, which I think a lot of us do because I know myself and a lot of the women I work with, we really struggle with this. I'd encourage you to listen to episode 72 of the,

this is woman's work podcast on creating and communicating healthy boundaries. There's such good tips and good language there, but boundaries is a sign of confidence. And whenever you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else. So we want to be conscious about the decisions that we're making. Additionally, I ask you to think through what support do you need? Who can you ask, hire, trade, or partner with to get that support? We as women are not always the best at asking for help. We think we're supposed to do it all, have it all, look good while doing it and have it all together all the time. And we must get better about using our resources,

leveraging our relationships, asking for help, asking for people to do things with us. So while I am very appreciative and privileged to be able to say that I hire out some things like somebody comes and cleans my house and I'm so grateful every other week. I have a full-time team member who supports me with my calendar and even some personal appointments and things like that. But it doesn't always have to be somebody that you pay. Think about your opportunities again to trade or partner with or have a conversation with

or leverage or delegate. There are so much available to us. We get to think a little bit creatively and out of the box to get the support and the help that we need in order to spend our time and our energy in the best places. And then finally, section five is your time to connect with your people. I call it the my people, my tribe, my relationships section, where you can define, decide, and again, choose

the relationships that work for you. You can use this section to think about your friendships, your relationship with your spouse, romantic relationships, dating, family, even work relationships, or all of the above. Again, there's no right or wrong way to do this. This is about you giving of yourself in a way that works and also about making sure you get what you want to. How do you want to show up in your relationships? What can people count on you for? What do you need and desire in your friendships or your romantic relationships or with your family? What does a healthy relationship look like or feel like for you? And one really important point that I want to make here is that no one person will ever meet all of your needs. I know the movies and the books we read and the romantic

stories we hear tell us that there is one person out there who's going to read our mind, be uber thoughtful, send flowers, do all of the right things and meet all of our needs. And I call bullshit on that because it is not a thing. No one person ever meets all of your needs. So the question you ask yourself is who can you count on for what? Who do you go to when you need specific things like comfort or problem solving or tough love, or just a little bit of laughter. I can answer in every single one of those situations, multiple people that I can go to. And I count myself incredibly blessed for that. Ask yourself, who are your secret keepers? So you don't tell the wrong people, your secrets, who are your front row friends? The people who are always

celebrating and cheering for you and excited about your accomplishments. So you know who to go to when you do something big and you don't expect that maybe from somebody else. Who are those blanket fort friends? The people who are so comfortable that you don't even have to think you can just be, and there's always lots of snacks. Who's that hide the body friend, the people who are so comfortable that you don't even have to think you can just be. And there's always lots of snacks. Who's that hide the body friend, the person who is your protector, who never has a bad word to say, who will defend you with their last breath. Who's your truth teller, et cetera, et cetera.

Know your people and know who to go to for whatever it is that you need. Asking yourself what's missing in your current relationships that you want to create or find or develop? And then of course, are there any relationships that need to change? Are there any that no longer serve you? While this is definitely a section you can go through on your own, I would highly encourage you to do it with somebody you trust. Maybe that secret keeper or that truth teller or that cheerleader, whoever it is that's right for you. This is a really good one to do with someone else.

As you pull up the agenda and go through this, you'll notice that all the questions are open ended and neutral on purpose. You may go through this and think she didn't about this, or she didn't focus on that. Maybe I missed something important to you. My hope is that if you answer the questions authentically and really think about what's true for you, you will fill your plan with all the best stuff and cover anything I might've missed.

My goal was that pretty much anyone could use this and I'm sure despite those intentions, I probably missed the mark in a few ways, but your opportunity is to fill those gaps. And lastly, you'll notice it is called a plan of action and each of the five sections asks you to come up with one, two, or three action steps that will get you closer, further you toward your goal. Because I know action builds confidence. And because the way you accomplish anything is to get into action and put one foot in front of the other. Because of this, every section asks you to create those action steps toward your growth. And if you need any help defining those, use your resources, your support squad, or reach out to me.

I am happy to help. And let me say one more time, this process and agenda are meant to be a general guide. But like any good navigation system, it can be rerouted. Do some of it or all of it. Plan for the year or for a quarter, or maybe even take it a month at a time. Do it alone or with friends, but do it because you're here now at this time. And that is by design. There already exists a plan and a purpose for you. Will you take just a few minutes to connect to it? To ask yourself what's true and what matters? To be able to answer this question, what is it that you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Because whatever the answer is for you is how you do woman's work.