This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - 079 / Who Do You Serve with Julie Foucht

Episode Date: January 19, 2022

Who do you serve? Who gets to experience, learn and benefit from YOUR unique gifts and abilities? While there’s no one RIGHT answer to this question, I can tell you there is one WRONG answer. And that wrong answer is… everyone. You cannot please, support, help or appeal to every single person. Here to help us think through these crucial questions is Julie Foucht. Julie coaches women on the art of feminine business, so that they can build their uber profitable businesses while honoring themselves and their strengths - so they can fill both their souls and their bank accounts. Stop wasting your time trying to serve everyone. Know your value and talents and bring them to the people who are going to appreciate them. Find and serve YOUR people. This Is Woman’s Work. To learn more about Julie and her work visit JulieFoucht.com To learn more about what we are up to outside of this podcast, visit us at NicoleKalil.com

Coming up on this episode of This Is Woman's Work. When you are serving everyone, number one, you can't market that way. It just totally muddles up your marketing and people get confused. And if they can't identify themselves as a client, they're never going to reach out to hire you. There comes a time in every business owners, every employees and every entrepreneur's life where you need to ask and answer the question, who do you serve? And the answer is of vital importance. Companies spend big dollars identifying and marketing to their ideal customer or client, and you can't go very far without hearing

expressions like target marketing, your customer base, or client segmentation. While there's no one right answer to the question, who do you serve? I can tell you there is one wrong answer. And I see women make the mistake far too often. The 100% wrong answer is everyone. You can't, I repeat, cannot please support, help, or appeal to every single person. That makes sense logically in our brain, yet I see so many women who still do try to please everyone and waste far too much time and energy trying to sell to everybody. I am Nicole Khalil, and I'm asking you today, who do you serve? Who gets to experience and learn and benefit from your unique gifts and abilities. How do you serve them? Here to help us think through these crucial questions and how to get paid by being dangerously

different is Julie Fouch. Julie coaches women on the art of feminine business so that they can build their uber profitable businesses while honoring themselves and their strengths versus just doing it the same way the guys do so they can fuel both their souls and their bank accounts. Julie, I'm grateful to be having this conversation with you and wanted to start by asking if you also see this, if you also see women trying to appeal to or resonate with far too many people. Thanks for having me, Nicole. I'm super excited to be here with you. My pleasure.

And yes, as a matter of fact, I was having a conversation with a newish client yesterday, and we were talking just about this, just about who she was meant to serve. And she clearly defined who it was. She'd done the exercises. She clearly defined it. And then she added, I also think there could be some men and maybe some people who don't quite fall into this category. And I think it's because as women, we have such a big heart and I hear this all the time from coaches and healers. I don't want to leave anybody behind. I don't want to leave anybody out who could benefit from this.

And there's a couple of problems with that. The first is when you are serving everyone, number one, you can't market that way. It just totally muddles up your marketing and people get confused. And if they can't identify themselves as a client, they're never going to reach out to hire you. The other thing it does is it waters down your effectiveness. It waters down your, what I call your magic or your transformation, your work gets watered down. When you are able to focus on one right tribe, one particular group of people,

then you naturally start to learn more about them. You learn more about how to solve their problems. You get better and better at what you do. It's like, if you were to say, I'm a sports person and I play baseball and softball in the spring, and then I play kickball. And then I also play soccer. And then I take on football. And while I'm at it, I do lacrosse and cross country, like you're never going to get really, really good at any of that. You might be an okay player at all of it, but you're never going to become the expert. And let's face it, if I'm going to hire somebody, I want to hire an expert. I don't want to hire somebody who's just okay at what they do. So narrowing down your niche, not only is better for you because as an

expert, you get to make more money than you do as a generalist who's just okay. But it also is better for your clients because they get the very, very best. And as far as everybody else that you're leaving behind, when you are able to do your work with your people and do it really well, something changes in them and they are able to go out in the world and do their work better, whatever it is they're here to do. Even if it's, you know, they're here, they have a family. And so they are better able to parent. They are better able to be a partner, a friend.

They are better able to do their work. So the work you do with them actually multiplies with the people they touch. And then it multiplies again with those people. So you're not leaving anybody behind by narrowing down your niche. You're actually making the work more potent and you're giving yourself a clear path to make more money. That is so well said. And I really actually like this sports reference, you know, as a woman coaching women, I'm sure you do the same. Like I try to steer away from all the sports references because they're so overused in corporate and business. But in this particular case, like it really hit me and resonated with me. This idea, you know, if you think about any professional athlete,

they play their one sport. And on top of that, they play their one position in that one sport. There's, you know, only a small handful of people who've ever even played two sports. And yet we think whatever it is that we want to do professionally, you know, that we're supposed to be this jack of all trades or like you said, not leave anybody behind. So I love the way you framed that. And the other thing I think is important too, is there are other people out there doing what we do and they may have a different ideal client or a different answer to the question, who do they serve? So those people that we worry about, quote unquote, leaving behind may be addressed or connected with somebody who is a better fit for them anyway. Oh, a hundred percent. So I believe

that before we're born, like I have this image of this big jobs board somewhere in the spirit realms. And before we're born, we actually make a commitment to come to the planet to solve a particular problem for a particular group of people. And those people need the work that you're going to do for them. They, they need it in order to fulfill their potential to do their work. So if we're over here trying to, you know, feed the pigeons, then the, the lions were meant to serve are going hungry. I am full of metaphors today. Yeah. So good. And I love the visual of that, like that idea, you know, this jobs board in the spirit realm, what a cool

concept. So what do you believe are the keys to understanding who you're meant to serve? Like, how do we, cause if that's true and that happens before we're born, I think sometimes, you know, our life, our upbringing, our experiences can bring us closer to that answer or further away, regardless of where we're at today. How do we get connected back to who we're meant to serve? I think there's a couple of ways. And the first thing is to really understand ourselves. And if you've been around a while, you've heard the saying that we're meant to serve people like us, right? We are a reflection of our ideal client. And it's because as we're

growing up, um, as we're becoming adults, we go through a series of wounding processes. And in those wounding processes, we build beliefs about ourselves. And then we also build skill sets to overcome those beliefs. And I'll give you an example of that. Somebody who grew up maybe with a parent that always said children should be seen and not heard, or what do you know? You're just a stupid kid would grow up thinking, oh, I must be stupid. And you can always tell somebody who's got that internal, and these are really hidden beliefs. So, um, you know, on the surface, they're like, no, I'm not, I'm smart. I have five degrees to prove that I'm smart, right?

People who have the stupid belief always have the most degrees. And I'm not saying that as any kind of condemnation. It's understanding what that core wound was that we know how to heal. And once we understand what our core wound was, those are the people that were meant to serve those people who have some reflection of that core wound. So my core wound is that I was born defective. I grew up without a penis, right? Cause I'm a girl and therefore there's something wrong with me. I'm less than I'm, um, not designed to get along in the world. I'm not designed to make money. That's for the

boys because that's how I was raised. And that's the wound. So how did I compensate for that wound? I went out, started my own business and, um, make more money than any of my brothers, right? Cause I have to compensate. And so first of all is understanding what that core wound is in you and knowing that your people have a similar wound because you know how to solve that wound. Is that making sense? It makes perfect sense. And as you were thinking, I was like, okay, well, how do, how would I identify my core wound and, and similar to yours, but maybe from a different lens is my core wound is I'm too much. I'm too much for people. I'm too opinionated, too loud, too bold, too, you know, and underneath that

is for a woman, right? Like if I were all these things in a man's body, it'd be celebrated and, you know, high-fived all around, but being this way in a woman's body, I always felt it's too much and no accident that my work is redefining what it means to be doing woman's work and also about embracing our ambition and our purpose and being authentic and being confident and trusting ourselves. Yes. So as you were saying that, I was going through what it is for me and you're, you're dead on, that's a perfect way to put it. And I would bet if you look at your clients, almost all of your clients have some version of this. I'm too much. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. The second step, and this is something that I do with all my clients is we actually

will go into a meditative state and we connect up with source energy and call in the energy of the tribe, the clients you're meant to serve and spend a lot of time there getting to know that energy body, getting to know. And, and it's, it's crazy because, you know, we're told to do this when we're choosing a niche, we're given a list of questions, right? What's the demographic you want to serve? What are their problems? What are, well, if we can tap into it on this energetic level first, we get a lot more information. And I love how this intersects with your work, because a lot of people will say, how do I trust that? When actually little kids trust it, little kids know we are taught not to trust ourselves. We are told not to trust our inner knowing.

We are taught to only trust the data that we're fed by teachers. And if you look at little kids, they just know things, right? You have a daughter. So you've seen her go through this. So we have to go back to that place of being able to trust our own intuition, our own inner knowing. And so the second step is really around having these connections in the spirit realm, answering the questions, those demographic questions from that place versus trying to do it from your head. Cause your head is not designed to do that.

And then it's a test and tweak, you know, it's, you go out and you start serving those people and you begin to feel, and it's in your body. This is not head stuff. You begin to feel, Oh, this client, I adore her. She's perfect. She does everything. She's having the, you know, she's able to achieve what I've promised. And it's because she's a fit. And this client over here doesn't feel quite right. She's, you know, like we're not quite clicking. And what's that about?

And you may have results with both clients, but your body begins to tell you, no, this is more clearly who it is. And then you stop and you analyze all the way through. And you're constantly saying, why is this working so well? Oh, it's because the client is X, Y, Z, you know? Oh, it's because this client has a certain amount of experience. You know, I, my work, a 22 year old who just graduated college is probably not the best client for me. My work is for the wise women who've got some years of experience under their belt, who have some life experience. And I know that because I've been

doing this work for a long time and I've experienced both. How you feel in the experience before the experience, after the experience, that's so telling. I remember I would coach, you know, early on in my business, I was like, I'll coach not anybody, but my, my, my, who do I serve answer was the far too wide of a description and I needed to narrow. But now it's like, if I don't get excited to talk to the person when I see their name on my calendar, or if I don't feel filled up and totally connected, then it's not the right client for me. And, and it took some testing and tweaking to figure that out. Yeah, exactly. My first niche, you're going to love this. My first niche was women, some of whom have businesses and a few special men. Like, could I have said everybody any

differently? Yeah. Right. Yeah. I actually jokingly say I work with a lot of women and a few good men. Um, but my filters of that is a lot more narrow internally. And it's just, um, it's made such a big difference in both the enjoyment and the profitability of my work that the more narrow I've gotten, the better both of those have become. Yeah. And I'll tell people, you know, just because this is your niche doesn't mean you have to say no. Someone outside the niche wants to hire you. You just have to be more careful to make sure they fit the really important things. You know, are they going to listen to you? Are they going to show up? Are they going to honor their commitments to pay you? Are they going to show up? Are they going to honor their commitments to pay you? Are they going to try the, you know, are they going to try the things you ask them to try?

You know, those are the really important things, but I will tell you what I've discovered is that the more clear I've gotten about who I serve and who I want to be in community with, because these are people you're bringing into an inner circle, right? Your clients are not out there far removed. They are in your life. They are in your inner circle and they are going to influence your life as much as you're influencing them, right? You have a bad client call. You snap at your husband that night. So you want to have a certain quality of client that you've identified beforehand. And, and the more clear I have gotten on my niche, the easier it has been for me to say to people, I don't think I'm the right coach for you. Mm-hmm. Let me refer you to somebody else. I love doing that, by the way.

That's such a great feeling. Isn't it? Yeah. And it also opens the space for the right clients to be there. I mean, really, there are millions of people, millions of people on the planet. How many of them do you need in your business? Any one year? There's plenty.

You don't have to take everybody. I want to ask you, Julie, once you've identified or narrowed your ideal client or the who do you serve down, how do you take that information into your marketing strategies, your enrollment conversations? Tell us a little bit about how once identified, we leveraged that and the other aspects of our business. So that's such a great, great question. So the first thing is to understand how marketing works. And if you imagine a stick figure, he's got the stick figure has a head, has a heart, and then has a soul. And for a lot of people who are in the helping industry, they always want to talk about the transformation. They want to talk about the soul

work. So, you know, I help you to become more authentically you, which by the way, is just words like that goes into the brain as, as gobbledygook and the transformation may be that you actually help someone find their sole purpose, find their soul, who they're meant to be, and then step into that. But nobody wakes up in the morning and says, Oh my gosh, you know what my problem is? I'm not authentically me. I need to find somebody to help me be authentically me. What they do is they wake up in the morning and they say, I hate my job. I hate my life. I hate how much I weigh.

Why is my husband snoring? Why don't my kids listen? Why can't I make enough money? Right? Those are the things people are thinking about. So we've got to address those things. That's the head stuff. But before we do that, we need to connect with people at a heart level. So people buy with their heart, they justify it with their heads. And then we do the transformational soul work so that the head and the heart line up and it's not

willpower doing it all. And this is how you connect with their heart is that you use emotional words. And I do a process where we go into, um, this is a great process taught to me by a guy named Jeffrey Van Dyke, who's just amazing. Um, but we go into your childhood wounds and in the wounds are the actual words. It's how you felt when you were being wounded and how you wanted to feel instead. And so we pull those words out, we extract those words and we begin to wrap them into your marketing. It's a super simple thing, but it creates instant connection because if I can say, you know, think about how you're feeling around money right now, and you've hit this great level and you feel powerless to go beyond it.

And you know that you're all alone. Nobody else has this problem, right? People begin to go, oh, how does she know that? She understands me. And we've never even met. I've got to get to know her. And so we build in those emotions. People identify with you, and then they have a sales call with you where their head learns the ROI. So if you work with me, you're going to, um, increase your income by 30% in the next six months, the, the head goes, oh, that's worth it. I can do that. Is this making sense? Yeah, absolutely. So we've got to be looking at, am I making the emotional connections with my people? And then am I providing the logical reason for their head to agree with what their heart

wants? So I think it's, that's something that a lot of people don't realize and they keep trying to sell transformation, which doesn't sell. Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense. And the idea that all of those play a part, but we need to be mindful about when, when and how, and we can't ignore one over the other. Exactly. It's all got to be there. So where does our femininity fit in? How do we leverage our differences and be mindful of them?

For a lot of us, and maybe that's not true, but I feel like so many of the women I work with, we've learned a lot about business or we've learned a lot about sales, or we've learned a lot about entrepreneurship or development or whatever it is. We've learned it mostly for men. Yes. And so we, you know, want to be coachable and we, you know, want to apply things that have worked for other people. And so there is an element of like, you know, just doing the way everybody else does it. But the reality is our femininity makes us different in a lot of ways. So how does this fit into answering the question, who do you serve? And then also how we go to market with that.

Yeah. So the first thing to realize is that men have more testosterone than we do, right? That's like, we all know that's true, but women get into business and think they have to emulate men and masculine way of doing business is you find a problem, you create a solution, you ramp up, you push, push, push until the problem's solved. And I remember having a conversation or being in an audience and hearing somebody who was very successful talk about how they did a big launch and it was seven weeks and they and 14 members of their team worked 17 or 18 hour days. And to the point where he couldn't even get up and go to the bathroom one day. And I just thought, I can't do that. And what's happening to women is they try and operate that

way. And they try and operate on that masculine push, push, push, and they get sick. Their bodies say, no, they get adrenal fatigue. They get, I can't tell you how many women I've talked to who pushed to build a multi six or seven figure business and then got sick because we're not designed to work that way. So when we work in the feminine, we look at what are the rhythms of a feminine soul? What are the rhythms? So I'm not going to do a launch on, uh, the week, the, the new moon week. Right. And, and you can follow the moons a little bit, but you've got to make sure that you're in sync with the moon. So I'm really in sync that new moon week. I will have two days where I'm like, all I want to do is sit in the sun and meditate and sleep. And what's wrong with me. And I go and look and it's because it's a new moon.

It's because that's the low point of my rhythm where I need to be turning inward, where I need to be listening deeply, where I need to just be soaking up nature. So I'm not going to plan my launch during that time period. I'm going to go to a full moon because in the full moon, number one, you're more attractive. There's more energy. And so when I'm looking at, okay, if I want to launch something, I'm going to plan my launches to follow the pattern of the moon.

And it's not a push, push, push. It's a circle. It's a wave. It's like, we're going to go up here and then we're going to rest here and we're going to follow those waves. So that's one way that working in the feminine is different. The other is the feminine is really about spaciousness, right? Like the feminine unveils slowly. You know, the masculine is like, wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. And the feminine is like, no, you need to court me a little bit. You know, we need a little foreplay

here before I jump into business with you. And so working in the feminine means we take that time to make connections. We take that time to create community. We take that time to create community. We take time to reveal what's coming. And it's a much more, you want to say flirty way of doing business, but it's also much more effective and long-term and people like it, you know, cause you're being you it's feminine energy. And that doesn't mean you don't do because we all have feminine and masculine in us. Right.

Um, and so there are time periods like that week when I'm in a launch, I am go, go, go, and it's appropriate and it's, it's right. And, you know, then I start tapering off a little bit and then I taper back up. And so there are times when your masculine is pushing. If I'm doing a live event, I'm going to be pushing a little bit more, but then after the live event, there's going to be, um, and this is a, like a bigger than just a month, right? Cause a live event takes many months. Um, so there's a ramp up to it. There's the push to, to write up to it. And then the giving everything during the event. And then there's

the ramp down where you've got to take the time to let your energy come back, to tap back into the things that sustain you and to be in that space of receiving again. So it's much more a wave than a ramp up and push. It's so interesting just this week, uh, as at the time of this recording, we released an episode on cycle syncing. So, so much of what you're saying is alignment with what Stephanie Adler, the guest on that episode, was talking about. And so interesting to me because I grew up and professionally grew up in a very masculine environment. And it is do, do, do push, push, push, you know, like a badge of honor if you like never stop. And so this concept of this flow of the feminine is really empowering and

interesting to me. And I think it's really necessary. I think some of the big problems we have in the world today are because we've built a society based on push. And I'm like, I'm getting teary even thinking about it. As human beings, we are not designed to be doing continuously. And I think that as more women come into business and prove that you can be successful by following the cycles, by following the waves, by following our own natural rhythms, then we can begin to change the world of business to make it healthier for everybody. Absolutely. Okay. If you are listening and you want to learn more about Julie and her programs

that have you connect to who you are, who you serve and stand out as you unique and highly sought after, please visit her website, juliefouch.com. It's J U L I E F O U C H T.com. We'll put all this information in show notes. You can find her on Facebook and LinkedIn at coach jewels and on Instagram at art of feminine business. Julie, will you tell us a little bit about your Facebook group and how our listeners can get invited? Absolutely.

So we have a Facebook group, feminine business magic. And if you join that group, we do a lot of great stuff in there. We do, um, we're, we're coming up with a free ritual for the new year. We do a share day and we are recording this on a Wednesday and it's my favorite day in the group because it's the day we brag, you know, as women, we are taught not to brag. Don't, you know, who do you think you are? People will say, and we lose the skill. And if you are going to build a business, you've got to be able to brag about what you do. And you've got to do it wholeheartedly without embarrassment, without judgment, without competition, just like I am the bomb. And so we do that every Wednesday to build that skill of bragging in the group. And we do lots of other fun stuff. So you just have to apply,

tell us a little bit about your business and we will get you in there and start having fun with you. Awesome. Thank you, Julie. And thank you so much for your wisdom and insight and our time together today. I so appreciate it. Oh, thank you for having me. My pleasure. Okay. So let me end by saying, knowing who you serve professionally is of vital importance, but figuring it out can take some time. And sometimes it's easier to start with who you don't serve, like who drains your energy or who won't ever appreciate your product or service or who just doesn't get you. No matter how you get there, though, I promise the answer is not everyone and is probably more narrow than you think.

So stop wasting time trying to serve everyone. Know your value, your talents, your strengths, and unique abilities, and bring them to the people who are going to appreciate them. Someone doesn't want to work with you? Sounds like a them problem to me. And time to use my second favorite four-letter word. Next, move on, find and serve your people. This is woman's work.