This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - 098 / Connecting To Your Inner Love Coach with Nicole Moore

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

Today we are going to talk about romantic love. And not just the good parts. Because let’s be honest, there aren't many other areas of our lives that can spin us into fear, doubt and insecurity faster than a romantic relationship can, or even the desire for one. Here to help us navigate through this is Nicole Moore - CEO and Founder of Love Works Method. A celebrity and relationship coach, television host and show creator, Nicole has helped thousands of celebrities, reality stars, influencers, CEO’s, and powerful and influential women find their ideal partner. She’s worked with stars from Real Housewives, Love Is Blind and many others. Nicole walks us through how an internal shift can create the relationship and life you desire. When we stop being desperate for love and start loving ourselves first, it’s THEN that we can attract the love that fills our souls and fuels our purpose. It doesn’t need to be hard, it doesn’t need to be scary, and love doesn’t have to hurt. Let’s all go out there and find the love we deserve. Because that is Woman’s Work. Here’s the link to Nicole’s Dating Architects Quiz. You can follow Nicole on IG @nicolemoorelove. You can learn more about her work at www.loveworksmethod.com To learn more about what we are up to outside of this podcast, visit us at NicoleKalil.com

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Pack celebrations and summers full of memorable discoveries with KiwiCo. Get 50% off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line with code WW30 at KiwiCo.com. That's 50% off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line with code WW30 at KiwiCo.com. That's 50% off your first month at K-I-W-I-C-O.com, promo code WW30. I am Nicole Kalil and you're listening to the This Is Woman's Work podcast, where together we're redefining what it means, how it feels, what it looks like to be a woman in today's world. We've covered topics from career to home life, complex topics like justice and failure to simple ones like drinking wine and why I curse. We've covered issues that women face like imposter syndrome and psychosyncing. And we've talked about your relationships with

yourself and with others. But there is a topic that I have a tendency to avoid, and that's love. More specifically, romantic love. And I think it's because as women, I feel like we already get more than our fair share of pressure to define and associate our value, our worth, and our confidence on whether or not we are in a romantic relationship. So I tend to steer towards talking about loving yourself or building internal confidence, being willing to stand on your own two feet and holding a really high standard for who gets to be in relationship with you because you are incredible. But I am not anti-love or anti-relationship. I firmly believe that we are all wired for connection.

And while loving yourself is the most important thing, as someone who is very well loved by my partner, I can't think of anything that fills my heart and my life more. So today we're going to talk about romantic love, but not just the good parts, because let's be honest, there isn't many other areas of our lives that can spin us into fear, doubt, and insecurity faster than a romantic relationship or the desire for one can. Here to help us navigate through this is Nicole Moore, CEO and founder of Love Works Method. A celebrity and relationship coach, television host, and show creator, Nicole has helped thousands of celebrities, reality stars, influencers, CEOs, and powerful and influential women find their ideal partner. She's worked with stars from

Real Housewives, Love is Blind, and many others, but we won't be naming any names. So Nicole, thank you for being on the show to talk about how an internal shift can create the love life you desire. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. This is going to be fun. Okay. So let's talk about what you call the business of love.

You have, as I said, coached and worked with thousands of women. What are the biggest mistakes you're seeing women make and how do you help them focus? And maybe what do you help them focus on instead? I don't believe that love advice is one size fits all necessarily. And throughout the 10 plus years that I've been doing this, what I started to notice, cause I've literally talked to thousands of women on the phone about their love lives. And I started to notice that there was different archetypes, like different people needed different things. So I will say, um, if it doesn't fit for you, the advice, and maybe there's, there's, you know, it's not that you're bad or wrong. It's just, that's not the right love advice for you. So I'm not about the rules

or anything like that. But for instance, I noticed that some women are what I call the overgiving martyr. That's like a JLo. They, you, J-Lo makes every guy better somehow because she's giving her energy. So she gives too much. So for a woman like that, the mistake she's doing is usually she gives too much of herself and her magic. She projects it onto the guy or the woman that she's dating as if they're magic. She's waiting to get something back from them. She never gets enough back. And then usually they hurt her and she's left feeling not good enough. So that woman, I might say to her, put your boundaries up, honor your worth, communicate, right? But some women are different. Like what I call the chronically single woman who's just been single forever. And she has a big wall up and she doesn't want to be disappointed. And these women often don't give people a chance. So you see my advice to her would honestly be very different. I might tell her, go on three dates with a guy and give him a chance. But I might tell the other woman, hey, if you feel a no right away, say no, because you're giving too much. So I think it's critically important first, if you're going to take in any love advice or advice to understand

like, who am I? What are my patterns? Where are the areas where I tend to fall off? So with that being said, some of the mistakes that I see women making in a general sense are one, not valuing themselves, right? Like, and you talked about this in the intro. Unfortunately, women are taught pretty much since birth that their value is dependent on outside things, on how much men approve of them, on so many things. So I always say your worth is not dependent on things that can change. Your age can change. Your looks can change. Your money can change. If you're tying your worth to anything that can change, you are going to feel bad some of the time, right? So we, but we're not trained that way.

Women are trained, and this has to do with advertising and buying things, that if you change this, buy this, do that, you will finally be loved. And so a lot of women I see, they're settling, they're not communicating. There's this fear of like, if I do the wrong thing, I'm going to lose love. I'm not going to be loved. And I think that's at the root of most mistakes at the end of the day, this idea that love is outside of us, something we have to chase and earn and be good enough for. We are not the generator of love in our own lives, even when we're in a relationship and we're afraid. So a lot of what I do is just systematically helping women let go of the fears because love is inside of you. I always tell people, my job is to help you connect to your inner love coach. Like you have that

inside of you. You have that voice of love inside of you. It's there. It's better than anything I could ever tell you about your love life is that voice inside of you. And you can't hear it if you're listening to the fears. So the biggest mistake, letting fear control your love life, because you can't, you can no longer hear that voice of love inside of you. That's like, Hey, date this person, communicate this. Don't date that person. Go here, go there. And that voice will give you everything. Oh my gosh. So many good things in there. I love the, your worth is not dependent on things that can change. I mean, that is a quote I'm going to put up in my office as a reminder. And I also appreciate that you started by saying it's not a one size fits all and your examples

honed in on that. By the way, I was one of the walls up, you know, not going to give anybody a chance and make other people wrong so that I don't get hurt. So on that note, I've found it. And I know from the women I coach and talk to that they experienced this often as well, that it can be very hard to be career focused and be a high achiever, be an ambitious woman and find a partner who values that. So what advice do you have for, I don't know, attracting that into your life? That's my first question.

And then second question, what advice do you have if you have a relationship or a partner who isn't supportive of your career ambitions or might be getting in the way of your goals? I'll do the second one first, actually. So I want to preface this by saying, if you're in a situation where you have children or you're financially dependent on your partner, it's a little bit more difficult to do this. So I do want to say it's not, again, not one size fits all, just do this. But the mantra, one of the mantras that has served me the best, and I created this when I was dating and I realized that I was, I was afraid. And I was like, I need to shrink this and that and blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah. And all these things that were making me somehow be less of myself in order to win love. So you have to remember, love is never asking you to be less of who you are for more of it to come your way. True love is never asking that. That's never the condition of real love that you be less of who you actually are. And then love will come. If you believe that, then that's from childhood. That's from conditioning. That's from something that's not really the truth. So when I was dating and I realized like, I'm, I'm shrinking myself down because you know, dating as a love coach is very interesting. Oh my gosh. I can't imagine. Yeah. I know. And guys would be like, so sometimes they'd be like, oh, I need your coaching, which is like, obviously no red flag. Like, I don't, I don't want that. And then I had all these kinds of responses and I noticed a voice in my head, which was, you know, the voice of the ego

saying, maybe you should put that you're a life coach. Like maybe that's a little bit more palatable. And I remember being like, wait, stop the tape. Like, what am I actually saying to myself? If I take that action, I'm saying that there's something about me that's not good enough or not appropriate enough to, to attract the kind of person that I want. I remember I was sitting in my, well, my office was my dining table, but I remember stopping when I heard that thought and being like, no, like, I know it sucks that some guys are reacting poorly

to you being a love coach, but don't change who you are because of these people reacting poorly. Find the person who is the match. I'm kind of answering question one now. So I remember making this declaration of like, you know what, who is the right person for me? And I sat down and I made a list of what are all the conditions that would be required for it to be right for me? Not what are all the ways I need to please someone else or prove I'm worthy? What are all the ways it would need to occur for it to be, you know, right for me. And one of them was a guy who loves my power and owns my power and loves what I do. And so I just stuck to that. I'm like, I will incur dealing with the people who thought it was wrong in order to hold the faith for the person who thought it was right. So if you're in

that place where you're like, I can't find somebody who supports my power or my vision, just know that just because you've interacted with people who don't, it doesn't mean that they don't exist. One of the biggest mistakes in love life is we let the people who failed to love us, teach us what we think we can have. And that is never the case. The people who didn't love you, right. Are not an indicator of what is available the case. The people who didn't love you right are not an indicator of what is available for you. And that's such a hard thing to get sometimes because we're so emotionally attached to what we went through. Like, hello, if you have people disappoint you or not love you, I get it. It so feels like it's real. I think no place do the wounds feel more real than love life.

So I get that it feels real, but if you want to have a great love life, you really have to be a visionary. You really have to be able to see past what you've experienced and go to the place where you say, what is the way it works for me? What is the way I truly desire it to be? And can I just believe that? And a lot of times you have to do it independent of evidence. Most people think dating sucks, relationships suck. Like there's like a sea of crap out there, right? So you have to hold yourself above that and hold the faith. And that's really the kind of person you're likely wanting. If you want somebody that supports your power, supports your vision, you know, like those are usually visionary people

too. We want to be with visionary people, not with the ego, not with that. You can't be better than me kind of thing. Uh, first, where were you in my twenties and early thirties? Like that would have been such to hear those things would have mattered so much. And then something you said sparked a learning that I had, which is, I kind of say it like this, mediocre people have an easy time finding mediocre people. But if you want to live an exceptional life and attract an exceptional person to live it with you, it may take a little time, or you may, you know, need to sift through some rocks to find the diamonds or whatever the case may be, but not letting yourself get discouraged or, or to lower your standards in the process, I think is such important advice. So thank you. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to try and tie it back to

number two. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, you know, when you're single, you hold a vision for the kind of love you really want and you don't let the people who are seeming to tell you, you can't have it, make it your truth. But then, you know, when you mentioned when you're in that relationship and the person's not supporting you. So again, listen, if you're financially dependent, if you have children, if you're like physically sick or something where you feel like it's not the most easy to leave what you, you don't just leave. I get it. People in those positions cannot just leave. So if you're not in that position, you might be able to just leave. But for everyone, you still hold the vision. So first of all, when you're in a relationship, even if it's a great one, you have a vision of the kind of relationship you want. One of the biggest mistakes women do

when they get in the relationship is like, yeah, I manifested him. And then they stopped doing all the things that were specific to them and what they're wanting. You should still have a vision for what kind of relationship you want, even when you're in the relationship. So if your partner's not supporting you and that's part of your vision, first thing, get with your journal, get clear. What do I want? And is what I want important enough to me that I'm willing to sacrifice? So the mantra, play this for yourself in your head, even if you're not going to leave right now. I'd rather lose him or her, whoever you're dating, than lose me. This is your point of power in relationship always. I'd rather lose them than lose me. Doesn't mean you move your feet now, but you start orienting yourself towards what you want.

Sometimes you do leave because you see this person's not gonna support me. So the question you have to ask yourself is, with a partner, and this is for any deal breaker, whether it's them not supporting you in your career or anything, if this person never changed this thing ever, and it was always this way for the rest of our lives,

would I be okay? If your answer is no, that is a deal breaker, right? Like that's a deal breaker. So if they're not supporting you, you have to first understand what does that mean to you emotionally? Don't brush it away. They don't support me. So what do I not get because of that? So, and really go down to the emotions. They don't support my business. So I don't get, you know, a soft place to land. When I tell them about a launch that didn't go well, they're like, wow, when are you going to get a job or whatever, right? Like, what are you really not getting? And underneath that, what are the emotions? Because it always comes back to emotions, right? So they're not supporting me. What am I not getting? What emotions am I not getting to experience, right? And also like, what's the bad that I'm getting? They don't support me. So what's happening? And really look at it because you're going to have a list of emotions, right? You're

going to have a list of bad emotions you don't want to feel and positive emotions you want to feel that you're not. Then you go to your partner and you have that communication from this space, not making them wrong because the reason they're not supporting you has to do with a fear in them. That's the only reason somebody wouldn't support you is if they have some fear or fears within them. So you go to your partner respecting and having compassion because you have fears that stop you. So you understand what it's like. And you talk to them and you say, I understand this behavior isn't personal. And maybe you don't even realize it and you don't mean it to be anything.

But when you say this or do this, I feel those bad feelings. I don't feel the good feelings. And this is important to me. Can we talk about this? So you have the communication. Sometimes it takes more than one time. If it takes three times where you're seriously communicating, you're in a loving way on your side of the street, not making them wrong, just very honest and respectful. This is what I want. This is my vision. If it's more than three times and you see that they're unwilling and pushing back and resistant or making you wrong for even asking, that's usually a red flag. Then you got to decide, is it worth it to not have these feelings in my life and to have the bad ones?

Because if they're resistant, they likely won't change. If they show they're willing to work on it, then you allow that space, but you have a deadline in your mind. Don't communicate to them. You're not like psycho, like you have until this time, but set a deadline. I'm going to wait three months. I'm going to see if they make progress and then I'll have the conversation again and we'll evaluate. So communication is always your tool, but approach approaching your partner with love as well. And ultimately knowing what is your vision and what are you willing to tolerate and what are you not willing to tolerate? Again, so many good things. And I like that you gave us kind of a tactical approach too. So thank you for that. You mentioned red flags, you mentioned deal breakers.

And then I can think in my twenties and even in my early thirties, I had some things that were maybe more like wishes, right? Like I wish he would maybe look a certain way or have this type of career. I don't know, whatever. How do we distinguish between wishes, red flags, and deal breakers as we're entering into relationships and or marriages? So deal breaker is, yeah, if they never changed this, would it be a problem? If you want kids and somebody is resistant and will not have kids, that's probably a problem, you know? So

if they never changed and I didn't engage in wishful thinking, would I have an issue with this 10 years down the road? If yes, it's a, it's a deal breaker. So red flag, you're going to pay attention to how you feel. You know, the body's usually telling you red flags way before. So a lot of women do this too. Maybe men do it too, where it's like,'s usually telling you red flags way before. So a lot of women do this too. Maybe men do it too, where it's like, I always joke, but I love him. You know, it's like, it's like women, I don't know what it is with women, but it's like a lot of women think that I love him. It's just enough of a reason to be with somebody. You know what I mean? It's like, but we have, oh, the amount of times I've heard, but we have a connection. Like, it's like, that is not enough. Like it's not, but so, um, so red flag is behavior that when the person does it or doesn't do it,

you are left feeling inadequate. And this is not because of your own stuff. So that's why you have to also watch your left feeling inadequate, unloved, um, not considered, you know, physically hurt, emotionally hurt, like those kinds of things. So you have to look at not just what are the good feelings that I have? Remember this. It's not just, oh, these are the good feelings. What is the net? Okay. Cause in most toxic red flag relationships, the net positive feeling is a negative and the net negative feeling is very high but we'll pay attention to like the two weeks they were good in the beginning of the relationship and we'll have an emotional connection to that and we're not realizing like the negative is piling up really quickly like you have to actually look at the net not just your feelings

what is the overall average of my emotional experience with this person in toxic relationships? It's like highs and then like 80% negative emotional experience, but you chase the highs, right? So really look for not just what do I think about this person? What are my, what are my like hopes and emotional attachments? But like at the end of the day, what is the net average of how they're making me feel? Cause red flag people make you feel bad most of the time. Now, preferences, desires, how do you know what you want in a partner? And if you're quote unquote asking for too much. Here's what I recommend. First of all, take out a list, do your list. I want this. I want that. How I say it is write down, I deserve and expect my

ideal partner. Everything you deserve and expect, right? I want them to treat me this way. I want them to look this way. I want them to make this much money, whatever. Just write everything down. And then you have to look at that list every single one and go, why do I want this? And this is the important thing. Is it coming from fear? Is it coming from love? Coming from fear means my ego or fear or insecurity has convinced me that if I have a partner who has this quality, it'll make up for something lacking within me. If I have a partner who has this quality, it'll make up for something lacking within me. If I have a partner who's this attractive, it'll make up for the times in middle school when I wasn't chosen and they did spin the bottle and the boy shrieked when it landed on me. You know

what I mean? Like, so a lot of times people are like, I want this, I want that. And they are not aware of what is making them want the things. If fear is making you want it, your experience will be, you'll attract somebody who seems to have those qualities and you feel elated and high. And then you will very quickly see they don't have those qualities and you end up feeling bad. So if you want something because of fear, or sometimes women do this with like money, or I have to have a partner who has a PhD or I've heard it all. Um, if it's coming from fear, I recommend you let those go. The things you want from a space of love. What do I mean by that? They're qualities that it feels like the reason

I want it is because it feels like a match for me, for who I am. It feels like having these qualities in my life is just like me being me, not me adding something that's lacking. You see the difference? So you might want an attractive person because you're like, you know what? Like my whole life is freaking beautiful. I love a beautiful home. I love a beautiful hotel. Like I'm just a visual person. Like I feel beautiful myself. I want to, I want a handsome partner. That would be more coming from love than I need the attractive guy because I wasn't chosen. And if I get the guy to choose me, then it means I'm good enough. Okay. So I always say, but the things you want because of love, or you could say intuition or

whatever word resonates with you, you know, it's like, I really just want this. It's just a match. Those keep, hold on to. They are guiding you towards what would actually be a great relationship for you. So once you've tossed out the things you want because of fear or because, you know, your parents or pressure or society or whatever. And you have your list of things you want from a pure space of love. And just, this is an extension of me. This is me being more me. Then you want to look at each of those and say, well, this is my, this is how you can tell. I say, if you're bringing it, you can ask for it. So this solves the, am I asking for too much conundrum? If you're bringing it, you can ask for it. So if you put on your list, like I did, I want a guy to see me like a goddess and treat me as the goddess that I am. I was doing Mama Gina's goddess stuff at the time.

I just, it was important to me, but every single day I was really like loving up myself. I was really seeing the divinity in myself. I was seeing that in myself. So of course I could ask for it in a guy. And when I met my husband without me saying it like three weeks in or something, he sent me flowers and it was like to my goddess, I kid you not. And I was like, yeah, it wasn't a surprise to me because I was bringing it. So every, when I say bringing, I mean the energy. So let me be clear. If you want a guy that's making tens of millions, and it's really coming from a true place inside of you, you don't have to be making that. But do you have a abundant mindset? Are you in total scarcity and

fear? It's not exactly matchy matchy in that way. It's more about the energy. Are you bringing the energies that you desire from this person? If you are, if you're holding them, if you're cultivating them, go ahead and ask for it. You're not asking for too much. Again, where were you? This is such incredible information and just what a powerful difference maker this is. And I love that you said earlier, because it's, I actually did an episode about this a couple of years ago, the, but I love him has got to be the worst reason on the planet to be in relationship. So I'm so glad that you said that I feel, I feel, uh, validated somehow. Okay. So my next question, and I know the answer for myself, but I'm really curious your answer in how many people you've worked with and the types of people you're working with. Can we actually have both? Can we have a

thriving business or career and a healthy love life? Um, I do. Yes. So, okay. First of all, I think it's possible. And I think it's, it's great to strive for health in all areas. Like, of course you want as many areas in your life to be thriving. Are they going to be thriving all of the time? No, but here's what I believe about love to me. You can like, it's like, you know, I, first of all, I want everyone listening to know, like I, the reason I'm a love coach is because I struggled severely. I had a very love lacking childhood in the sense, like my parents never said, I love you. And I just, I literally grew up thinking and believing my parents don't love me. So there must be something horribly wrong.

I'm not, I have a million examples of this. Just trust me. That's how I felt. And so my love life was such a struggle and so horrible that I was like, one, I just realized I have to figure this out. And I did so much internal work. I mean, I was very dedicated to healing this. And I, for years would, my mission was just to have my mind be filled with more love because it was filled with so much, you know, fear. And I really like dedicated it to that, you know? And so why I'm saying this is because what it felt like for me was love was so hard. Love was so difficult. I wasn't getting what I wanted. I was so wounded. I was so insecure. I was so afraid, la, la, la, la, la. So much pain, toxicity, and all this stuff. And the more I worked on it, the more

operating with love, thinking with love. There's a difference between a fear thought and a love thought, right? In your love life. Thinking thoughts that were supportive to me. Like I remember, you know, I used to have horrible thoughts in my head. I used to look in the mirror and the voice would be like, I hate you. Like it was so bad. And I remember working on it and working on it. I remember this moment where the voice in my head shifted and it was like a positive loving voice. And it was such a surprise to me, like, oh my God, like, wow, there's actually a voice on my own side in my own head. So I worked on it and worked on it. And what happened was this way of thinking of, you know, well, what would love have me

do? What's the loving choice? What's the loving thing to say to my partner rather than, you know, don't criticize him. Those kinds of things became more default. The more I worked on it, the more I chose love. I know that's like corny, but the more I chose love, the more it became a default thing. So if you're going to, if you want career and love to be working at the same time, they can. And I believe how it works, at least for me is love.

Like, it's almost like the program of love in a way is running in the background the whole time. And I'm looking for, and I'm scanning for, you know, moments where there's a break in that love or where I feel the fear, but love is default. So when it's not that, like, I can tell if I'm going to write, I mean, I don't fight with my husband that often, to be honest, but like, let's say I'm mad at him and I'm going to write a text. I laugh because it's just like, we do this, but I wouldn't do this anymore. I'm going to write a text to like, you did this wrong to me. You know, I'm aware enough now to know that that text will do nothing for me. It won't actually make me feel better. Even though fear tells you when you're mad at somebody say the thing that's going to make them feel bad and make them see how wrong they are. And you're going to be victorious.

You feel better for a second. And then there's a lot of negativity. So it's almost like I know now the effects of fear because I've studied them intensely, what fear does to relationships and to love lives. And I also see the opposite of what love can do. It's amazing what a loving communication can do versus when you think you're going to win over your partner, by the way, which is also like a side thing of like, why are you trying to win over your partner by sending a mean text? Right? So love is running in the background. I'm noticing when there's a tendency not to do that. And I will stop and be conscious. So that's kind of how love works for me.

So love is like a background program that's running and working and it's a foundation. And then I'm working on business, right? And you can also do this with your business though. And maybe business owners who've been doing it for a while now, in the beginning, it's like, oh my God. I mean, when I tell you everything I did to make my business work and all the fears and all the insecurities and everything I had, I had to put a lot of focus in it. But now it's not like things are easy, but there is the sense of like, I know how to do the things. Like I can, you know, I do have the experience of like, I know how to do the things like I can, you know, I do have the experience of like, wake up in the morning, sales have come in and it's easy for me, you know, like people want to

work with me. Like it's more running on a background program now. So if you're doing both, okay. If you're trying to find love and you're trying to build your business, I was there or you're trying to save your relationship. I was there and I just focused on getting both of those to the place where it was running more as a background program. So what I did, and this is a practical, I said, what is my first goal? Well, my first goal was finding love. What is my second goal? Growing my business. My third goal at the time, I think was health. So I said in every day, I'm going to put focus on these and I'm going to do it in this order. So each important thing gets focused. So for me, what that looked like was I have a whole thing where I teach people like it's called future vision, but whatever, like whatever manifesting practice you have for your love life. Right. I don't like people to feel like I have to do these things to manifest love.

I did a visioning practice, which you can find on my YouTube. I think it's called like the number one, most important tool to manifest love or something like that. But I teach it there on YouTube for free. So I did that vision in the morning. I journaled, I looked at my thoughts. I might've swiped on Tinder. I put some energy into my love life. Then I worked on my business because that was really important. I wasn't going back and forth in my Tinder messages,

getting all like crazy in my love life about all that stuff. When I was done, I'd take a break. I go on my Tinder and I might work out. So you can get the areas of your life to that stuff. When I was done, I'd take a break. I go on my Tinder and I might work out. So you can get the areas of your life to that place. Like I'm saying, where it's more of a background program. It takes some focus. You can have two big focuses. If you try and have all of them be a huge focus, it's probably not going to work that well. I will say for most people,

love is a program that's really important. They just trick themselves sometimes into thinking that, you know, it's not. I think that that's very true as somebody who did that to themselves. I, at one point, you know, was lying to myself that I didn't care, didn't want, didn't desire a loving relationship like that, a romantic relationship in my life. So Nicole, thank you so much for your wisdom and sharing your experience. But also, I think that practical how-tos, that's really always helpful for me. If you're listening and you want to learn more about Nicole and her work, check out her website, loveworksmethod.com or follow her on Instagram, Nicole Moore Love. We'll put all of that in show notes. And Nicole

has also offered a free quiz to our listeners. Whether you're looking for love or in love, this will help you to determine maybe some of these fears or archetypes that are in control. So Nicole, will you tell us a little bit more about that quiz? Yeah, I love this quiz. It's so good. It's, um, it's called the dating archetypes quiz. And I actually have a like celebrity version. So you can see like, which is like your celeb, but it basically will tell you who's, who's the, what's the best kind of partner for you, what your love superpowers are, what your love blocks are, and what are the things that are getting in the way. So you can understand like, also like what advice is best for you. Cause like I said, I really hate when it's like one, like, you know, act like a lady, think like a man,

this and that, blah, blah, blah, one size fits all. And I'm cringing. Cause I'm like, no, it doesn't work that way. So the, um, in the quiz results, I will kind of explain to you, like, if you're this person, maybe work on this or maybe work on your mindset or maybe work on this. And so you have a place to focus your energy for maximum results for you and your own love life. That is awesome. Thank you for offering that to all of us.

All right. I'm going to close by saying this. I believe one of the biggest areas we can impact gender expectations and women's rights is by lifting our own expectations for what we desire in our romantic relationships. When we stop being desperate for love and start loving ourselves first, so there isn't a hole or a void we're looking for someone else to fill, it's then that we can call in and attract the love that fills our souls and fuels our purpose.

It'll also have the added benefit of raising the bar for who gets to share our life, which will make everyone better. I'm not talking about perfection or unrealistic expectations here. I'm talking about finding someone who appreciates, honors, and celebrates you. It doesn't need to be hard. It doesn't need to be scary. And love doesn't have

to hurt. Let's all go out there and find the love we deserve because that is woman's work.