This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - 137 / Ampliship (Mean Girls Part 2) with Caroline Adams Miller

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

If you’re tuning into this episode of This Is Woman’s Work, I’m guessing it’s EITHER because you listened to last week and CAN’T WAIT to hear the rest of this amazing conversation, or you happened to stumble upon our show. If that’s the case, I’d like to encourage you to go back to last week's episode, because this is Part 2 of a two-part episode on the patterns, approaches, and ways that women ARE NOT supporting women. And let me tell you, this conversation goes down as one of my all time favorites in the 3.5 years I’ve been hosting this show. Caroline Adams Miller brings a scientific, research-backed, and data led approach to the important topics we’re covering. The time has come for ampliship - let’s SHARE the stories of women doing amazing things. Collaborate with other women to promote and recognize each other. GO PUBLIC with your support. Make sure there are witnesses as you promote them, reference their work, and celebrate their successes. Become a MASTER of supporting other women. Let’s make ampliship both the word and the action of the year. That is WOMAN’S work. To learn more about Caroline you can visit her website at www.carolinemiller.com or follow her on IG @carolineadamsmiller and @cultivatingeliteorganizations or on Twitter @carolinemcoach To learn more about what we are up to outside of this podcast, visit us at NicoleKalil.com. 

I am Nicole Khalil. And if you're tuning into this episode of This Is Woman's Work, I'm guessing it's either because you listened to last week's episode and can't wait to hear the rest of this amazing conversation, or you happen to stumble upon our show. If that's the case, I'd like to encourage you to hit pause and go back to last week's episode, because this is part two of a two-part conversation on the patterns, approaches, and the ways that women are not supporting themselves or other women. And let me tell you, this conversation goes down as one of my all-time favorites in the

three and a half years I've been hosting this show. Caroline Adams Miller brings a scientific, research-backed, and data-led approach to the important topics we're covering today. So if you're looking for a solid introduction to our topic and to our guest, go to last week's episode. Otherwise, we're just going to dive right back in. We've talked a little bit about supporting, well, a lot about supporting other women. You've shared some really great tactical things, mastermind groups, sharing people's posts,

celebrating victories. Are there any other ways specifically professionally in business that we can be supporting each other? And then I want to move on to something else. There are lots of specific ways and I, and I'll just, you know direct people to my website. I have this ebook on mastermind mastermind groups that I think is really important because I think it's full of research and how to start a mastermind group. So it's, it's, I've got to be careful and say, it's not just any group you have to know is, are the women in this group exemplars of active constructive responding? Cause not every woman is, she hasn't seen it done. She hasn't, she doesn't think it's valuable. I've had so many women say that they would do this behavior if they saw other people

do it. So that's one important thing is if you're going to form a mastermind group, do it with the steps that I researched and found are the only ones that work. So it's not any group. I think that what we have to also do is to, and this is going to sound crazy, but there's something in Wikipedia called the Woman in Red Project. And the Woman in Red Project is something that will help all of us professionally, because as women, we are not becoming role models, and we're not being featured on panels, and

we're not, you know, getting quoted in newspaper articles, because we haven't come up as role models in a basic place like Wikipedia. What they found is that 18% of the biographies in Wikipedia on living and dead people are women. The other 80 some percent are of men. And so what's the problem there? If you're looking for a source, a resource, someone to interview, someone to have on your podcast, you are more likely to find a white man or maybe an Indian man or an Asian man or whatever, but somebody who's gotten attention as a genius than a woman, because we're not sharing stories

of other women who have done amazing things. The Women in Red Project is designed to take these names of red women. So they're not blue hyperlinks yet. They're women who are just longing and waiting for someone to fill in the blanks so that they can be entries in Wikipedia and then they can be shared as role models in companies, in groups, as people to invite to speak, their books to be read. So that's one thing. I also think that just like in the Obama White House, I thought this was really interesting

before these women, because it was a woman heavy group of women advisors in the Obama White House, and I know at least two of them well, before they went into meetings where they didn't want to be mansplained, they didn't want to be interrupted, they didn't want to have their ideas taken, they didn't want to not be able to finish their thoughts, they got together and they decided, whose ideas are we going to promote here? Whose name are we going to repeat over and over and over again so that that person gets credit for that idea? And an article ran in either the New York Times or the Washington Post about it, about this amplification strategy, amplifying another woman's ideas, regardless of whether you get credit for doing that or not. And comments that followed the article were like, where in the world do these women exist? How do we get more women like this in our lives? Because this has never happened to me

and I've never seen it. So that was one. Finally, the third thing I've come up with is I believe that mentoring and sponsoring and to a certain extent, allyship, I think those words that have been thrown around for decades are toothless. I don't think that they have the impact that they ought to have. And if they were having the impact, we would have more women in the C-suite. We would

have more women on boards. We would have a whole lot more. I mean, I walk, I listen to podcasts sometimes for three to four hours a day. One day I shut my radio off and I said, this has been a hashtag dude podcast day. All I ever hear are women, I mean, men talking and using other men as examples, special forces, US presidents, a grit of whatever. And I won't even hear a woman mentioned as an example. So I believe there is a word that has to be introduced

to performance reviews and how we evaluate someone's competency and mastery of supporting other women. And I'm calling it ampli-ship. And I do believe that we ought to be measured by whether or not we are amplifying the success and ideas of other women in front of witnesses. Because mentoring, sponsorship, and allyship do not have this necessary muscular component, which is do other people see the behavior happening? Because if you don't see the behavior happening, my opinion is it's not happening. And that's what a lot of the women I coached at very high levels around the world tell me is they hear women saying

they did it and they know for a fact they didn't. AmpliShip means, and I think this should be when you go into a performance review, tell me an AmpliShip score. Tell me whose careers you've promoted. Tell me who you've helped. You know, where are the witnesses who have seen you actually take another woman's ideas and make sure she got credit for them? If we're not doing that with witnesses, nothing's going to change because all this other behavior has absolutely no component

to it that other people have to see it happen. I love this concept of amplanship. The idea or the thought pops into my head of like when we share other people's ideas, specifically other women's ideas in public to reference the name. I was reading this article by Caroline Miller. And I think sometimes we think that that takes away from us. Like it's supposed to be all our own ideas and worse. And it's like, no, I feel like 98% of the things that we're talking about are not new. They might be unique. They might be unique takes on something, but they're not brand new ideas. Why don't we give credit where credit is due? And I love, because that was one of the things I was going to bring up is this idea of recommending a woman, which is a phenomenal book, great. Then also say Angela Duckworth's Grit or something like that. Women, we need to be at the ready. If you recommend a

good speaker who happens to be a man, recommend a good speaker who happens to be a woman. And I have lists now because I often forget people in the moment where somebody is like, do you have a good coach? I literally can pull up on my computer, a list of women who are phenomenal coaches and, or a list of women speakers or what, because I don't want to be caught off guard. I don't want to default to the person who's just top of mind because their shit is everywhere and their name is everywhere. All of that to say, I'm a big fan of, I think mentorship and sponsorship and allyship has its place, but I love, love, love this concept of ampli-ship. Am I saying it right? Yeah, you are. And it is a made up word. And I think, I think I would love for it to be the word of the year, because I think we have to have a sea change in what's happening with women in the professional arena because all the statistics are really ugly.

The World Economic Bureau says it's going to take something like 176 years for us to achieve parity in the workplace. And furthermore, most people say that they think they're going to see time travel before they see women CEOs, at least on a parody with men. I mean, think of that. Time travel before you see as many female CEOs as men. We learn this behavior by watching other people. And this is why when you study primates, I looked at primate research to understand this too. We do see adult females in tribes killing younger women who are in estrus, who are menstruating, who are actually alluring to the men in the tribe. So it does happen. There's a biological wiring piece and it's the basis of scarcity theory. We understand that. However, it's interesting that the act of mothering, the act of taking care of a primate or taking care of a young baby in any tribe is

learned by observing adult women in the tribe, adult female elephants, for example. And so this behavior that we're talking about, they're saying, oh, that's mean girl, kind of just reverting to the mean, oh, that's just what girls do, or watching The Real Housewives and seeing men just kind of looking on and derision at women who were being catty about someone, whatever, outfits, you know, vacations, whatever. We are continuing to do this simply by promoting these ideas that are out there. And I think we're doing a terrible version. We can start to teach younger primates, us, our daughters, our granddaughters. We can start to teach them the right behavior by doing things that are hard

for us to do. I've had women, I've been on panels with women. Remember this one partner from one of the big four accounting firms, she was talking about this and she said, I have to tell this audience that I was one of the biggest mean girls in my firm. And the whole audience went, Ooh. And she said, I have to admit it because I see too much of it. And if I hadn't had an awakening in a performance review by a man telling me that he didn't understand why I put down all the other women, again, think kicking and climbing from the previous episodes we did. I wouldn't have had to take a good hard look at myself in the mirror and say, why am I doing this? And what am I going to do differently? And I did have a wake up call, which is why did I get into this? I got into this because I'm a graduate of Harvard and there was a

salon series starting in Washington of Harvard neo-graduates of all graduate and undergraduate schools. The first salon topic picked was women undermining other women. And I saw just a free for all online to get tickets. And I got a ticket and I went. And if I thought it was a myth or overplayed or whatever, before I walked into this salon where I heard all these heads of labs at NIH, lawyers, I mean, Indian chiefs, all these wonderful women, accomplished women, all saying very dispassionately ways in which they knew that their success had been blocked and derided by other women. I walked out saying, okay, this is a problem, but where were the solutions? Nobody had a solution. And I said, I'm not going to talk about this publicly until I've come up with an

evidence-based solution. So that's, that's what's happening. We have to begin to teach our youth a very different way of behaving. And I think people, you learn best by examples and by experience. So while we teach the youth, I think we've got to check ourselves and begin to practice this so they can experience and observe it. So I'm going to, I don't know if devil's advocate is the right word, but I'm going to ask the question about how do we support women or be in support of women and not be a mean girl with women that we fundamentally do not like, because I am a woman supporting women and there are women out there saying things that make my skin crawl. And then I remind myself that my opinion is my opinion. And I am a big proponent of everybody

gets to decide what's true and right for them. And so how do we be in support of women doing big things or doing what's right and true for them, or even if they are showing up as mean girls in the office, or even if they are doing things that don't serve women? Well, we don't want to be Pollyannas. We don't want to give praise where none is deserved. But I do think a woman who goes out on a limb to speak her truth, and it does no harm. I think you can at least turn to your daughter or other women in your life and say, at least she has the courage to speak up. You can praise what's worthy of praise.

And I think that is true. But I don't think we have to be Pollyannas and walk around just being blindly supportive of every Susan, Mary and Meg who is out there. I think we have to be thoughtful in how we do it. I do think people have to see us doing it because too few of us do it anyway, because we're not told these stories growing up. And we don't, you know, American Girl Dolls, by the way, stopped being goal-directed dolls for at least 20 years. All they were were pretty little faces. There's been a shift back by having the Katie Ledecky swimming doll to girls who are ambitious, who have big goals. So something's changing in the doll world. But I do think we have to be judicious in our praise and praise what's praiseworthy. And so I pick and choose, and I certainly warn other women, of women who I know

are bad apples, who are actively undermining other women. I'm not going to be one of those people who sees no evil. If I see evil, I speak it to other women and I say, be very careful. I've had my IP stolen by some women in the field of positive psychology who started selling it under their, you know, behind their paywalls. And I was like, I'm going to tell other people, writers in particular, be careful of that person. So we don't want to blanketly do this without any thought, just like men wouldn't do it to other men who didn't deserve it. I think we have to be thoughtful about it.

So I think there are many ways you can find to be actively constructive and enthusiastic about what's praiseworthy and what does no harm. So I'm not going to go out and support somebody who's carrying a placard saying that women have no right to control their own reproductive destiny. That's not going to happen because that's hurting and killing too many women. And I know some close to me and my family have been hurt by this. So that's not what I'm going to do. I have to stick to my values and my values guide my behavior. So I think of a couple examples. There are some women in political office that I am like, we could not see things any more differently. We do not agree. I would literally never vote for her. I admire the risk and the ambition it took to run for political office and win.

I can admire that piece without endorsing the woman or agreeing with or voting. I also think of like just some women where it's like, you know, not my kind of person. That's all I need to say. Or I don't like this or whatever, without making her whole being wrong. There's some people that I've worked with that I thought one thing and found out another, and I don't need to go and share that story with everybody. I can just say, you know, I learned that that's not my person.

It reminds me of the Catholic church where a lot of my Catholic friends say they support the faith fundamentally, but the priests who have violated the values and norms that they hold dear are the people they'll no longer respect. They'll no longer support them. They'll never speak out in their favor. And so I think you have to separate the wheat from the chaff, but there's so many good works that we can do without worrying about not supporting people who don't, don't have our values of doing no harm or, or supporting other people that there's plenty of work to be

done without worrying too much about. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to switch gears and share a few things that I'm seeing that I think women are doing that aren't in support of ourselves, that are sort of hurting and harming more than they are helping. Love to get your take on them. And then I'll close this out by asking if there's just anything I missed. So let's start with a phenomenon that I see very often in my work. And that is women not asking questions when they're given the opportunity or when it would be really beneficial to them. So I think of, I used to think it'd be like, oh, you know, this amazing white male speaker comes and then opens for Q&A.

And of course, all the men, and I would be like, well, women don't feel comfortable or they don't feel safe or they, you know, whatever. And then I've been standing in rooms filled with women as a woman talking about the topic of confidence and then giving women the opportunity to ask questions or like people who are uber successful in business or have accomplished X, Y, and Z. And it's weird to me because I'm like, I always have a question. 100% of the time, I have a question that I would like to know because presumably this person has accomplished something. They've achieved in some way.

They've done something that maybe I haven't done or they've done it better or they wouldn't be standing on this stage or they wouldn't be the presenter or whatever. So I'm just going to assume we always have a question. Maybe that's just me. Why are we not taking advantage of the opportunities to ask them? So I have a slightly different take on this based on years of being a speaker and being in front of some female audiences that were actively not supportive of being another woman with a spotlight on. And I'm wondering if some of these people thought they would be honoring you by asking a question. That's one thing,

like giving you a little too much attention. So there is that instinct that women have, unfortunately, which is who did she think she is to be on that stage being paid to be up here, giving her opinion. My opinion is just as good as hers is. So that's one thought that there's that. The second is that when you raise your hand and ask a question, you're, you're drawing the spotlight to yourself. And when that happens again, remember, this is violating stereotype norms. This is a threat. When you bring attention to. Again, who did she think she is to be asking that question? Or how is she asking that question? So I do think that there's too little curiosity and too little support of other women, particularly those on stage to throw, unless you're Brene Brown, who everybody seems to want to hear from because she talks about our problems,

our vulnerabilities. I mean, I wish she had gotten famous by talking about women's strength, not the vulnerabilities in the world. So I think that that's a piece of it. You have to be willing to have the spotlight on you and let the spotlight be on other women. But I think a lot of women don't know what other people will say about them if they raise their hand and somebody falls on them and they get a spotlight. And I just think women play small because of it. I think that that take is very valid. That resonated with me a lot. Now that brings me to a next thing that you kind of teed me up for perfectly. I think one of the things that we do is we find these top 0.001% women who are out there doing big things. And then

we repeat their name over and over. We listen only to them. We hover around them. We, you know, amplify them, but only them. And my problem is not them. I have a few people like that, that I am just like Michelle Obama. I would just go anywhere she was to hear anything she has to say, right. Or Glennon Doyle or Brene Brown. Like these are women. So I'm not saying we shouldn't be doing that. I'm saying we shouldn't only be doing that because here's the problematic. Those women are so far away. Our experience, like what they're doing or how they're doing it or what they're dealing with is just wildly different.

It's not applicable. It's not particularly relevant. I think one of the mistakes we're making is we're not talking about the people who are far away from us and the people who are just a little bit ahead of us. In the same breath of saying, I love Michelle Obama, I also adore Kate Donovan, who

is a burnout expert and does great work or Julie Brown, who talks about networking in a way that I actually think I could network, which as a diehard introvert is like a miracle. So we have these, I don't know if totem is the right word, but like these women that we make the end all be all, and we're missing the women in the middle. We're making it so much harder on all of us. Thoughts? Oh gosh. I think it's really easy to understand quite honestly, those big role models, they're unrelatable. We can't be them because they are too famous. They've achieved too much. They've gotten too much acclaim. They've been on 60 minutes. They've been the first lady. These are women we don't compete with. Someone who is one or two tiers down, who is not yet that famous, is taking our piece of pie. If we support

that person, it means our pie isn't coming our way. And so I think there is this scarcity theory idea. There's only one kind of person we can elevate and it's gonna be the people who are untouchable who we can't possibly compete with. So I think there's a competition piece that also comes up. So they have already surpassed the Mount Olympus threshold. They've already made it. We can't hold that against them. But these other women who are aspiring

to have that kind of impact, we can hold that against them. But these other women who are aspiring to have that kind of impact, we can hold that against them. And that again, is what's so upsetting to me when I look at the research. I want to applaud you for mentioning those names you just mentioned, the women who are not yet that famous, because you just threw a spotlight on some people who are working really hard to have a niche in the world of making a difference. And by doing what you just did with the audience you have, you did this active constructive responding. You did this amplific. This is exactly what I'm talking about. And so I think we have to get over the idea that everyone is our, it's our competition. And again, start to see that there's lots of pie out there

and it's not going to take water out of our bucket if we mention someone else's name or have, you know, suggest their book in a book club. I mean, how many people have read Michelle Obama's biography? I mean, there are a few women whose names come up over and over and over again. I think that's valid, but where's the next level and the next level and the next level? So I also think as women, we need to be sure to invite women on our podcast. We have to quote women when we're writing books. I mean, I could go on and on, but frankly, the way the criteria for being a genius is written excludes most women. And I really have a beef with the genius expert in the world. I think he's at UCLA, because the criteria he's put forth naturally exclude all women, or most women. So I think we as women have to be sure to see other women as our compatriots

instead of our competitors all the time. I'm so glad you said that. One of the commitments we have with this podcast is we've been able to get a few big guests, not like a Michelle Obama or Brene Brown yet, but we've been able to get a few big names with massive followings and things like that. And so then the question is, you know, do we keep going on that trend? Does somebody need to have a certain amount of followers or a certain, and we're like, I'm like, absolutely not. We must make it a priority to bring in women with no following, very little following that have a message that's important to hear. And the only thing that's required is they be passionate about it. They bring some sort of unique lens. It'd be relevant to us as women and that they can speak it in a way

that fits into 30 minutes or less and resonates. That's it. Okay. I wanted to talk about, you said competition. I had put down comparison, jealousy, green-eyed monster. The things that we do that we constantly are looking at other women and comparing ourselves and either coming out ahead or falling short. I don't know if you have anything to add that you haven't already said, but anything there as women that we should be mindful of? Because I don't think this is working for us. Well, it's not working for us. And I had to go back to the roots of why do we do this?

And it's unknowable, unfortunately. It's one of those things that the researchers have basically concluded, including Deborah Tannen, who wrote, you know, men are from Mars, women are from Venus, that little girls become so socially agile, and so verbally aggressive at such a young age, while boys are just out there hitting things, and you know, then kind of making up with other boys, they're physically aggressive,

that one of the only ways women have found to fight back is to be competitive in areas where they think they have some control. It could be getting the boy, it could be being thinner, it could be having a better hairstyle. But the research shows that women are thrown out of the tribe and shunned if their children are more successful than another person's children, for example. So it's all about where we believe we have power. And so it just starts young, and some of it is the stories that we're hearing growing up. So I think what we have to do is to begin to focus on examples, exemplars of people who are doing the opposite of the behavior and see what it would be like to try on that behavior. And I'll give you one example. Miss Nigeria, this went viral in December of 2019. Miss, Miss Nigeria was one of the last three people in the Miss Universe pageant. And she lost, she lost to her friend, Miss Jamaica. But if you were watching the pageant, and the clips on YouTube are fabulous. She hears her name, the name of her friend, Miss Jamaica announced, and she drops the girl, the woman's hands and starts running around the

stage with her arms in the air, you know, and then she came back and she hugged this group of women. And the announcer's going, you would think that Miss Nigeria had won, but Miss Jamaica won. And the commentary that followed that was, why aren't women doing this more? So I think it's a learned behavior. So is there anything to it? There's scarcity theory, there's all kinds of biological wiring, but the learned behavior. So is there anything to it? There's scarcity theory, there's all kinds of biological wiring, but the learned behavior is something we can, we can just, we have to try on the opposite behavior and see what it gets us. Frankly, it feels better. And because I'm an expert in positive psychology, I know the research on the outcome of being the opposite,

the outcome of being the good person. It feels awkward at first, but we don't see it. And that feels awesome later. And it becomes addictive. Just try it. You have no idea how much better your life will be. If you begin to act like that, I can confirm it's addictive. It's such a cool feeling. And, and when you watch it, like I could just cry in those moments. It feels so good. It feels even better when you're the one doing it. I have a few other things that we just won't be able to get to, but I want to bring up one more thing. And that is staying in relationships that don't serve us. And I think we might be thinking personal ones, and that is another topic for another day. I'm talking a little bit more about professional

ones, staying in cultures, environments, or with leaders that don't serve us. I think women are doing this far too often for far too long, especially women with privilege, women with options and choices. You can go to the next company or get the next job. I think that this is something that is ultimately harmful to us as an individual. I know this personally, because I did this. I stayed in an environment with a culture that just didn't serve me. And it wasn't like bad. It just didn't serve me for far too long. Any thoughts? Well, there's some early research coming out now on the fact that the great resignation was actually a lot of women saying, I don't have to deal with this any longer.

One of them, this surprised me in what I was looking at. The research on why women leave is not family-friendly policies. It's because of the micro and macro aggressions that come with them all day. And COVID gave a lot of women an opportunity, especially with the stimulus money, to go try their hands as entrepreneurs, control their destiny and control the environment around them. I think that it's often a good idea to decide what is the cost that you are, what do you pay? What's the price you're paying for being in an environment where you think you have to expect incoming fire from other people, particularly other women, because that's always the way it's been. And you look around, you say it's not going to be better anywhere else. I think there's a

resignation in terms of how we handle adversity that is really sad. We don't always have fighters and we beat the fighting quality out of women as girls. And we start to think, this is all I can expect. So there is research showing that 84% of women admit to being surrounded by frenemies of choice, friends who are enemies. And I know as a goal setting expert, that one of the things this is doing is it's killing your dreams. It kills your dreams because when you have a big dream and you voice it to a frenemy, a sister, a sister-in-law, an aunt, a mother. How many times have people said their mother is this person to them?

The research shows that you're likely to abandon your goals or code your dreams as bad dreams within the next week or two. And so why are women surrounding themselves with frenemies? We don't want anyone to think we're not nice. The price we're paying for wanting to be seen as nice and compliant, so staggering that I can't put my arms around it. But I look at the statistics on women and money and power, and I see that we're just surging backwards. And we have to go granular and look at some of this. Why are we surrounded by frenemies? Why do we take that woman's calls? Why don't we endure these kinds of microaggressions? I think we have to begin to poke our heads up,

get in the mastermind group and begin to take the kinds of risks, creative risks and have a soft place to fall that allows you to gather yourself and get up and keep fighting the next day. And as a martial artist, if someone has a black belt and going for another black belt,

every woman should learn self-defense because it translates into emotionally how you show up in the world as well. If you can't fight and protect yourself, you can't do it emotionally either. So every woman should take at least one weekend in self-defense training. You're going to walk differently the next week. Caroline, I don't know even how to thank you enough. There are no words. Thank you for having this conversation. I will speak your name in every room that I can. And if you are listening to this episode and the one previous, I am going to ask that you share everywhere you can verbally, socially on all the

medias, whatever you're going to do and reference and mention the name Caroline Adams Miller. You can find her on LinkedIn, Caroline Adams Miller, or go to her website, carolinemiller.com. And write reviews of your book, please write reviews of your book. I'm going to put that in here because the word Hebrew word fear gun joy and another person's joy. I have joy that you have this book out what a birth that is. So I'm going to stick that in. If you're going to mention my name in AmpliShip, I'm throwing in yours. Thank you. Truly. Thank you for this conversation. I can't say it enough. I'm going to close this out by challenging us to not only make AmpliShip the word of the year, but the action of the year too. Share the stories of women doing amazing things.

Collaborate with other women to promote each other and celebrate each other. Go public with your support. Make sure there are witnesses as you promote other women's careers, reference their work and celebrate their successes. Be at the ready to recommend women authors, business owners their work, and celebrate their successes. Be at the ready to recommend women authors, business owners, attorneys, financial advisors, speakers,

podcasts, entrepreneurs, coaches, the list goes on and on. Anytime you'd recommend a man, also recommend a woman. And not just the big names everyone already knows, but the women you know in your life. Become a master of supporting other women. Our parity and equity is relying on it. Because if time travel becomes real before gender parity, I'm going to be real pissed off. And I hope you would too. Become a master of supporting other women. Be the example for your peers,

for the younger women coming behind us, for our children. Be Miss Nigeria for the women in your life. Joy in another person's joy. Make Ampleship the word and the action of the year. That is woman's work.