This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - 143 / The Real Reason You Have Nothing to Wear with Ellie Steinbrink

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

I wonder if we added up ALL the minutes we’ve wasted standing in front of our closets thinking “I have nothing to wear” and all the time we’ve spent trying on 17 different outfits (only to walk out wearing the one we hate the least), how much time we’d have? Enough to learn a new language? An extra 2 weeks vacation every year? So my friends, let's give you back the greatest commodities you have: your TIME and your sanity. I’ve invited Ellie Steinbrink, Expert Stylist, Personal Brand Coach, and owner of Style Decoded, to join us today. She’s on a mission to help women show up with more authenticity and feel 100% confident in their own skin every day. Styling is her passion, (yes, she does do work virtually) and she loves teaching women how to define and own their unique personal brand through style. I believe that confidence is when you have firm and bold trust in yourself. And while I don’t believe your clothes will ever bring you confidence, I do believe it’s easier to trust yourself when you feel great, feel comfortable, and feel like YOU. At the end of the day, who you’re BEING in the world is infinitely more interesting, and confidence is significantly more captivating than whatever it is that you’re wearing…remember that when you’re standing in your closet. To learn more about Ellie please visit: Website:  https://www.elliesteinbrink.com/ Social: IG: https://www.instagram.com/style.decoded/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elliesteinbrink/ Free Closet Detox Guide:  https://www.elliesteinbrink.com/detoxguide To join Nicole’s pod (to get all the inside scoops, free stuff, and the occasional rant), click here

I wonder if we added up all the minutes we've wasted standing in front of our closets thinking I have nothing to wear and all the time we've spent on trying 17 different outfits only to walk out wearing the one we hate the least, how much time we'd actually have? Enough to learn a new language? An extra two weeks vacation every year? I don't know the answer, but the one thing I know for sure is we sure do waste a lot of time standing in front of clothes we don't feel like wearing. I am Nicole Kalil, and on today's episode of This Is Woman's Work, we're going to uncover the real reason you have nothing to wear. Because I know you could do far more important and productive things with an hour or two a week

than wonder why you're still holding onto that dress you bought in hopes that you'd lose the weight you still haven't lost. Or because you spent a lot of money so you convinced yourself it must still be in style or that you'll eventually find the occasion to wear it too. For many, many years, I was the queen of having a lot of clothes and nothing to wear. A third of my clothes I couldn't fit into. A third of my clothes were things I never wore but couldn't let go of. And a third of the things in my closet were things I wore, but somehow never felt like they made one good outfit. I had jeans that I never put on because if it wasn't stretchy, I wasn't interested. I bought Louboutins I couldn't wear because they hurt my feet. So a couple of years ago,

I gave it all away to women with younger feet, smaller waistlines, and careers that required them to put on real clothes on a regular basis. And it was freeing. I hired a stylist who helped me get only what I need and will actually wear. She was honest about some of the things in my closet that I should never be putting on. And she raises her eyebrow anytime I even hint at buying something that would look great if I lost a few pounds. If it doesn't look good now, if I don't know where I'd wear it to, or if it doesn't feel comfortable, if it doesn't feel like me, it's a hard no. You might be thinking how privileged you are to hire a stylist. And yes, it is a privilege. And I'll tell you that I've saved far more time and money even after paying my stylist than I was spending on clothes that I never wore before. And I don't waste any more time feeling like shit in my closet.

So, my friends, let's give you back the greatest commodities you have, your time and your sanity. I've invited Ellie Steinbrink, expert stylist, personal brand coach, and owner of Style Decoded to join us today. She's on a mission to help women show up with more authenticity and feel 100% confident in their own skin every day. Styling is her passion, and yes, she does do work virtually, keep that in mind, but this hasn't always been her job. Ellie spent 20 years of her career in client service, advertising, developing brands, blogging,

podcasting, creating marketing and social strategies for clients, ranging from Fortune 500 giants to individuals making their personal brands online. All of that to say, she knows a thing or two about marketing and branding, and she loves teaching women how to define and own their unique personal brand through style. Ellie, thank you so much for coming on This Is Woman's Work, and I need to open up our conversation today by asking, what is the real reason women have clothes in their closets and yet nothing to wear? Well, hello, Nicole. Thank you for having me. This is going to be a fun conversation and a really honest one, right? One that we don't often talk about as it relates to

a working woman's life. Obviously we have to show up and look and feel amazing wherever it is we need to go, but we don't, we often discount all of the cobwebs and toxicity that can reside in our closets that I'm just excited that we can talk about this and really start to pull away the layers and figure out how do we get to a place in our closet that feels good to us, that induces the confidence that we're all seeking. So you ask, why is it that we have, what's the real reason we have nothing to wear? That's a loaded question because there are lots of reasons.

And I would love to dive into just a few of the things that come to mind. There are really kind of two women I see in my day-to-day workings and with my clients. And they're sort of on the spectrum of closet is overstuffed. So many things in there that we cannot fit yet another thing. We don't even know what is in there. There's so much in there. It's decades old. It's all crammed in there. Multiple closets perhaps. They may even love shopping. They enjoy the thrill of it.

You know, they don't have a problem in that area. What they have a problem with is being selective and potentially detoxing. I call closet cleanups, detoxing, getting rid of the things they don't actually wear. So that's one end of the spectrum. I'm sure many of you can resonate with that. I tend to be a little bit more towards that spectrum if I'm not careful. Then there's the other end of the spectrum, which is the women who absolutely despise shopping. The thought of walking into a store, the overwhelm, the confusion, that just like, this is the worst part of my year when I have to go and refresh my work wardrobe or go get something for an event I have. And these women sort of have just, you know, they don't

have as many things in their closet because they don't love the process. But they also, the problem that these women have is that they have so few options that when something does come up, they find themselves in sort of a scramble. I think all of you have been there where something pops up in your calendar and you think, oh shit, what am I going to do? I need to go find something right now. And I don't know about you guys, but anytime that I've had to go and do panicked shopping, which is what I call emergency shopping, do we ever find anything that fits perfectly, that is perfect for our bodies, that is a perfect representation of who we are? No,

we end up settling and showing up at the event wearing something we don't feel that great in, or maybe even like we've gone shopping and we come up with nothing. And then we have to pull something out of our closet that we never did feel that great in any way. So that's part of the reason why we feel like we have nothing to wear either. We've got so many things in our closet that there's just too many options. I, I always say like a cluttered space equals a cluttered mind when there's too much thing, too many things in my closet, it leads to analysis paralysis. There's too many things to pick from. And then on the opposite end of the spectrum, there's not enough in there. So when you do need to get dressed for the things you have going on in your life, you don't actually have the solutions there. So there's a couple other

reasons why we might be running into like the, I have nothing to wear feeling, but that's just one of them. And I'll just stop there, Nicole, if you wanted to say anything. Yeah. Well, I have experienced every one of those experiences and I have been where I've had way, way, way too much in my closet and like still have nothing to wear. And I, I fundamentally hate shopping. I am an online shopper prior to working with my stylist because there is nothing I feared more in the world than a dressing room. I want to hit more on the plus sides of working with the stylist, but before I do, I want to address a question that I know popped into my head when we thought about doing this episode and that

might be popping in, you know, cause I've done episodes on trauma and confidence and mean girls. So the question is, does style matter or is it frivolous, trite and self indulgent, or is it somewhere in the middle? I mean, I'm talking to a stylist, so you have your opinion. I have an opinion that might surprise people, but I'm curious, what are your thoughts? I think culture really does a great job of making it seem like it's trite, it's frivolous, it's wasteful. I mean, think about the whole fast fashion, sustainability conversation. I do think that depending on where you were raised, US or not, having lots of things, caring about how you look, and also kind of varies depending

on industries. I've seen, you know, women that come from higher education, or there's this belief that, you know, what really matters is not what's on my outsides. What matters is what is on the insides. And I'm not going to discount that that is true, but here's the thing that you may not realize is that there's actual changes happening in your body. When you get dressed, there's real brain science around getting dressed in the morning. And when I start to talk about this, I think you're going to be able to relate, but essentially I'm not going to speak in complex brain neuroscience terms, but what happens is when we have a feeling, our brain activates and releases chemicals throughout our body. Okay. And so very simplistically speaking, when we have a good feeling, our brain activates and sends good chemicals throughout our body. Now you guessed it.

When we have, you know, bad feelings, icky, yucky feelings, our brain activates and similarly, you know, sends bad chemicals throughout our body. So put this in the form of walking into your closet in the morning. All right. In one scenario, you get up, you walk into your closet. Maybe there is nothing in there that's clean that day. Maybe there's nothing in there that actually fits you right now, except for maybe one pair of pants that you don't really love and you feel icky and yucky and frumpy. And there's a variety of reasons why we feel awful going into our closet. but those are just some of the most common ones

I hear. So you go in there, you're just picking whatever is clean or what actually fits that day, but you don't feel that great. You walk in and you get, you're getting ready for your day. You go on about your day. How do you act? I know for me, because I've been in this scenario where I couldn't zip up a pair of jeans and it just ruined the trajectory. Yeah, deflating. Your mind starts to spiral. You have those mean girl thoughts. Oh, well, I shouldn't have had that extra dessert right now. I've totally gone off the deep end.

Well, all of these things that go through your head and the trajectory of your day is not great. Is it? I mean, I know in those times I've been not so kind to the people around me. I hate to even admit that, but you know, like a little snappy with my husband and my kids. And am I reaching out to people in a work setting or me running my own business? Am I really motivated to want to go and like secure a new business contact or go and have coffee with someone? No, I want to hide. I sort of shrivel in on myself.

I don't feel great. Okay. And on and on and on. All right. So now contrast that with a day when you get up in the morning and you walk into your closet and you do have something that you're really excited about. Okay. It could be how a garment about. Okay. It could be

how a garment feels on you. It could be a color. Color is such a big thing. You know, it can change the energy and the mood you have going in today. It fits you. You may not be at your ideal size, but it fits you and you feel good in your body. Now, how do you walk out of your closet into your day? Those days I feel sort of light as air. I'm checking off my to-do list. I'm productive. I'm like, hey, let's go have a cup of coffee. I want to meet up with this person. I'm reaching out to new people. I'm extra bubbly. I'm just a different version of myself. And so while yes, it may seem on the outside that style is trite, it's frivolous, it's wasteful, it's expensive.

I don't believe that. I really don't because I've seen it happen not only with myself, but with my clients. When you have that good feeling, and again, this has nothing to do with what weight you're at. I have clients who have come to me and said, you know, I'm not feeling the greatest about where I am right now. But luckily they know we can't live in this space of just never have anything to wear because we don't feel like we're at the right size we want to be at.

The solution is to get yourself in clothes that fit you right now, that make you feel good about your body right now. And we go through all sorts of, I teach them about how to style the body type that they have. And it is amazing how they go from, I'm not feeling the greatest about this or that with my body right now. And we put them in the right garments that work great for their body type that fit. They're the right size. They're the colors that make them feel good. And it's like their whole self just transforms. It's amazing. I can confirm that experience. And I want to circle back on that, but I also want to share, cause I alluded to people might be surprised about, you know, my thoughts on matter. I think style as it relates to our basic needs like shelter and food and general healthcare

is frivolous, but then 90% of the things we're doing in our day-to-day lives are frivolous too. But I think as a matter of self-expression and as a matter of how we begin our day feeling about ourselves. And like you said that I couldn't agree more. And I sometimes wish this weren't true, but I know from personal experience, when I walk onto a stage and I feel great about how I got ready and what I'm wearing is a completely different experience than when I, the day before I'm leaving, I've tried on 17 different outfits and I'm not excited about anyone. And I just bring the best one and I start my day and not as good of a place.

And I have to do a lot more work internally to show up in a good way. So I'm with you on all that. I want to talk about size because I think I was one of these people that like, I really wanted to fit into a certain size. And when I was younger, I was very small. And I think sometimes we think when somebody is a certain size that they can just wear anything they want and it fits and looks great all the time. That's unequivocally not true. But what's been really cool about this experience and working with a stylist is she brings stuff and I try it on and we pick what, and it's like, I have an item that I bought that was an extra small, and I have items that are

larges that I couldn't even squeeze into and every extra large, all the stuff, because to what you said earlier, when you know your body type and you know, what looks good on you. And I mean, different labels, size things totally differently. Is there any value in worrying about size? Not at all. In fact, here's something for you guys to remember. And if there's one thing you write down today, write this down. Remember it the next time you're trying on clothes. Remember it the next time you're in a dressing room. Your body isn't the problem. The clothes are the problem. Okay. So here's the truth, you guys. First of all, you've got European and American sizes. For one, there's big differences there.

My size alone between different brands, different retailers can range four to six sizes. And I hate to say it. I know we get very attached to sizes and how we feel about wearing a certain size, but they just aren't relevant. Think about a manufacturer that's having to put out a number of sizes that are supposed to fit all of these unique body types that we have. It's just not possible. And that's why I say, when you go into a store, you know, and it's always with jean shopping, right? You go into try on a pair of jeans. And right now,

everyone's wanting to kind of experiment with the different styles of jeans, like the wide leg jeans, the straight leg jeans, you know, everyone's like, do I let go of my skinny jeans, you know, but I want to try these new things. And so like, if someone is trying a new style of jean, they'll go try one on and it doesn't fit them exactly the way they want. And they're like, okay, see, I told you these aren't right for me. And plus that was the wrong size. And the thing is that you probably got to try on different, like 20 different types to find the one that's going to fit you. Again, it's your body is not the problem. It's the garment. It's a problem. Um, and it's frustrating. I mean, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. It's super frustrating, but that is one thing I tell my clients is like, detach yourself from the size. What I'm doing when I'm shopping for you is I'm

getting your measurements, which is something women don't often do for themselves. They'll just go shopping online and always pick their size. I actually have them take their measurements first. So shoulders, bust, waist, hips, inseam, rise, all of the things. So when I'm on a site looking at a garment for them, I'm looking into the size guides and I'm saying, okay, based on this size guide that they have published on their site, this is the size I think we need to order. These are the two sizes I think we need to order and let's try that. And I said, again, if you're used to buying the sites, it's okay.

Trust me on this. We can even cut the tags out if you want. Yeah. Well, and it's interesting that you say that I was thinking about my experience with the stylist and she has this way of, if something doesn't fit, she makes the stylist or the clothes bad. Not me. She's like, who thought of that? Or like, throw that one out. Like, and it's, it is that statement you started with. It's not you. She's like, who thought of that? Or like, throw that one out. Like, and it's, it is that statement you started with. It's not you. That's bad. It's that particular piece of clothing for your body. Like, okay, next, right. The best four letter word in the world next. Yeah, exactly. I want to talk about some of your secrets for embracing simplicity in our closet, which I

think is really good for that first type of woman that you were talking about that like has an abundant amount of stuff, but nothing to wear. So how do we begin to embrace simplicity? Yeah. I think in our culture, we've really been led to believe in many different areas that more is more. And I'm actually reading a book right now, The More Molecule. It's a phenomenon, right? We feel like we need more and more and more and more. I mean, we have, like at the beginning of our conversation, we have closets that are full of things. So why is it that we're not satisfied with what's in there? And it's not necessarily that we need a lot of clothes. In fact, when I'm

creating capsule wardrobes for my clients, they're around 25 pieces. The magic really is in thinking about one, what pieces do I actually need in my closet that are going to serve my life? What are the things you mentioned this in the beginning? We all have stuff in our closet. I love going and buying all the fun frivolous stuff that it's like, yeah, maybe I'm going to wear this once a year, but it's not really something I'm going to need on a daily basis. So one, it's kind of just being smart about what are the pieces that get permission to get in our closet? What is actually going to do the work for you? So I have this little rule that I follow. So first of all, the idea is that we don't need as many pieces as we think we need. Okay. Well, you're thinking,

okay, 25 pieces. How is that even possible? Well, here's the trick. We have to start thinking about our clothes in broader ways. I have this rule that any piece that goes into your closet, you should be able to wear it at least three ways. There's a tendency for us to want to like shop and buy in outfits. And this happens, right? We're walking, you know, shopping in an actual store and we see it on the mannequin and we're like, great, I'll have the top and the bottom. And then we get it home and we just continue to wear that one outfit the same way every time. Well, first of all, the problem with that is you get really bored really quickly.

Okay. So if you're wearing the clothes, if you have the clothes in your closets and you're thinking of them in outfits, you're going to need way more options, you know, unless you're someone that likes to put outfits on repeat every two weeks. But I find that most women get a little bored with that. And so what happens when we get bored, then we feel like we need to go shop some more. Okay. And now we're getting more outfits and eventually we get tired of those. So the trick really is, is to be selective with which pieces that go into your closet and then make sure they can work

harder for you. Most of our clothes aren't working very hard for us. So that requires us to not only, you know, get flexible with our thinking about our clothes. So for example, we have a tendency to want to categorize our clothes. So for example, I've, you know, and some women organize their closets this way and it's, there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not saying this is wrong, but we have a tendency to sort of look at our closet and say, okay, work clothes, going out clothes, casual clothes, weekend clothes, whatever that may be. And what I like to do is challenge your thinking on that. How can we think about just one set of clothes, not necessarily categorized into these very special units? Because when we look at our clothes and say, okay, that blazer is only for a

work setting, you're not going to get as much use out of it. Why can, okay, that blazer is only for a work setting, you're not going to get as much use out of it. Why can't we wear a blazer with a pair of jeans and sneakers on the weekend? Why can't we wear a blazer draped over our shoulders over a really fun going out dress and have a different look? So that's something I love helping my clients just reimagine it that they really kind of struggle with is like, oh, I never would have thought to wear that dress in this way or to wear this blouse in a different way. But we do, our minds sort of get fixated and stuck on, you know, wearing our things in one certain way. So that rule is every item in your closet should be worn at least three ways. And that really does then solve that problem of needing to have lots and lots of stuff. I often will get the comment, people will say, you must have a

ginormous, I'm making up that word, a ginormous closet. And I was like, well, the secret really is that I don't. I really do wear my stuff over and over and over. And the key is just being creative in how we mix and match them and wear them in different ways. I can, again, relate to this because I had my closet organized that way. Like here are my work clothes, here are my date night clothes, and here are my casual clothes. And that was one of the big eye openers for me. And I like this concept of can I wear it three ways? My brain goes, can I wear it to work? Can I wear it out on it? Let's call it a date night, whether that's with my husband or with other people.

And can I wear this to a friend's house or to a soccer field? And there's so many items that actually can be. And I just didn't have it in that category. So I think of a dress I tried on, my stylist handed me a pair of sneakers and I was like, really? And she's like, yeah, do it. And then she handed me a jean jacket. I'm like, this is really cute. So I think that's an excellent tip. I want to quickly hit a few things and get your reactions because these are things I know I've done and other women do. Do we, or should we buy more than one of the same items? So I think of like black leggings,

do we need 17 pairs of black leggings? What are your thoughts on that? No. My mom, if she listens to this, you know, this podcast, eventually she'll chuckle at this, but she is classically the, I find a shirt I love. I'm going to buy it in 17 colors. I really don't think you do. I don't think you need multiples. I think you, what happens, honestly, what happens to me is I'll buy a piece and then I maybe sort of like it. And then I find another one that I actually like, let's just talk about black leggings. Okay. Have a pair of black leggings and they work. But then I find another pair that I'm like, oh, actually these are better. I'm going to get them, but we end up keeping them all. I really am adamant in my own closet. And when I'm working with my clients that

every piece in your closet should be something you really, really love. And I know that sounds crazy, right? Are we going to fall in love with a cami? Are we going to fall in love with a pair of black leggings? But really that's sort of the thought process of like whittling down and only having the things you really love and you're going to wear because when you're thinking about your entire closet, we really only wear 20% of our clothes, 80% of the time. And so what are the rest of the clothes doing? If we know we don't pull those certain items for a reason, either it bothers us, like we have to tug and pull at it, or we don't really feel that good in it, but we think it's solving a need. And so we hang on to it, give yourself permission to just let go of those things that you know, you're not grabbing for anymore. It's a bold, it's a bold move because it feels a little vulnerable letting go of some things.

And sometimes there's emotion tied up in letting things go. But the freedom that you feel, the weight that's lifted off your shoulder when you can actually release those things is well worth it. Any thoughts on when to spend the money and when to go cheap? What types of items do you spend the big bucks on? Or are there certain items where you're like, don't ever spend more than, you know, don't ever go bigger than whatever, whatever the dollar amount is. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it also depends on the woman, but to me, I'm like invest in a good blazer with handbags. I always go leather. Um, now you can find leather at really great prices and you know, you can kind of, the range is big shoes. I've

learned my lesson that wearing non-leather shoes or non-comfortable shoes, you always pay for. So that's another thing. I also like to think about what is, what are workhorses in your wardrobe? So again, that is different for every woman. For one woman, it could be a suit, you know, that's still dressing up in a very formal work environment. So that could be where you spend, but for another woman, it could be jeans. So make sure you have an amazing pair of jeans or multiple pairs of jeans that you can go to. Jeans are kind of one of those that I've learned my lesson on over the years. I used to be one who would buy up, I would buy up lots of pairs at the time. This is, you know, 10 years ago, I'd buy up lots of pairs in the 30 to $40

range. And I thought I was saving myself money. But the reality is that every time I put on those pairs of jeans, they would stretch out within 30 minutes. And then I'm tugging and pulling and I'm saggy and I've got frumpy bottom and it's, it's sagging at the knees and, and I'm having to wash it every time to hold its shape. It's annoying. And then eventually it was after I had my daughter actually about 11 years ago, I'm like, I'm going to go and buy myself. I, my body had changed. I'm going to go and buy myself. My body had changed. I'm going to go and buy myself a good pair of denim. And what I found is, wow, amazing. These jeans, they hold their shape. I don't have to wash them every time. They feel good on my body. I'm not tugging and pulling. So to me, denim is one and you can find denim around a hundred on up, but denim is always one that I do not, I do not go cheap on anymore because it's just not

worth it. And how I feel now, things that are trendier that, you know, it's probably not going to last long, but you want to kind of indulge in the trend, go cheaper on those. But the other thing I'll say is don't always assume that you can't find good quality pieces, even at some of these retailers that have been labeled as fast fashion. I have pieces in my wardrobe that I've owned for five years or more that are from some of those fast fashion retailers, Zara, Target, even H&M, Mango. It just depends. Okay. So not everything at those fast fashion retailers is going to be junk and fall apart. And not everything at your designer high-end places are also going to be something you would want to hang on to. It really depends. So if you can sort of free your mind of putting those

judgments on things, it really does help. Okay. Any quick tips for people who've been hoarding clothes in their closet? Like how do you determine what to let go of and when? Yeah. Well, I'll give you guys access to my free detox guide, which has like 20 or so of my favorite questions that I like to ask when I'm cleaning out my closet. So it's just lots of good things to keep you grounded, but I'm going to share a couple that are my favorite from that list. And one is, let's say I tend to kind of want to go into my closet. I live in the Midwest, so we have very defined seasons. So anytime a season is about, is upon us and about to change, I'll go in and start checking

out, okay, what do I have in here for my summer wardrobe, let's say. And if there's items hanging in there that I haven't worn in the last year, that's telling me something. Now, maybe it's a very special occasion dress that you really aren't going to wear that often. Maybe it's a once in every three years kind of special occasion dress. But for the most part, casual dresses, summery tops, whatever else may be in your wardrobe for the summer, if you haven't worn it, if you didn't wear it in the last year, if you didn't wear it last summer, chances are you're probably not going to wear it this summer either. So allow yourself to let go of that. Another question is, does it fit me right now? Does it fit you right now? Or are you hanging it up in your closet to say, okay, well, once I lose those 20 pounds, then that's going to fit. Get it out. Even if

you're like, I'm hell bent on getting to that weight, that's fine. Okay. And you might very well get to that weight in the desired time that you want. So at least just pack it up out of sight, out of mind, put it somewhere else. Only have clothes in your closet that fit you right now. Because to me, I don't know about you, Nicole, but like if I have items in my closet that don't fit me right now and it's hanging to motivate me, it is not motivating me. It is doing everything but motivating me. It's making me feel less than it's making me feel guilty. I'm not good enough as I am right now. Just get it out. And if you do happen to get to that size, then go back and pull it in. So that's another good question. Another question I like to ask is if I were in a store right now, looking at this item, would I buy it? Would I invest money in it right now?

Yeah. Great question. I have a little trick too that my sister taught me is at the, um, beginning of every season or once a year, take all your clothes and hang them so that the hanger is going the wrong way. Like it's going in the inside. And then when you wear the item, take it and hang it back the right way where the hangers and at the end of the season or the end of the year, you have a visual representation of what you've worn and what you haven't. And it's kind of scary what you don't wear.

Yeah. If you're listening and you want to learn more about Ellie and her work, as I mentioned earlier, she does work with people virtually. You can go to her website, which is elliesteinbrink.com. And she's also offering a free guide to detox your closet, which is basically a starting point for getting rid of all the crap you don't wear. Right? Again, Ellie Steinbrink.com forward slash detox guide. We'll have all of this in show notes. You can also find her on LinkedIn. Ellie, thank you so much for your time and your tips. Thank you, Nicole. Okay, friends, I'm going

to wrap us up by saying this. Because I believe that confidence is when you have firm and bold trust in yourself, I don't believe that your clothes will ever bring you confidence. But I do believe it's easier to trust yourself when you feel good, feel comfortable, and feel like you. I know rituals can help build trust, and I know you're likely to take bigger risks when you feel like a rock star or a goddess. And I know for sure that none of us are building any trust standing in our closets worrying about what to wear. What if all you asked yourself is this? Does this represent my inside on the outside? Can I do big things wearing this outfit?

Am I so comfortable that nothing will distract me from what really matters? Can I go about the really important work of trusting myself and living my passion and my purpose in what I'm putting on my body today? Because who you're being in the world is infinitely more interesting and confidence is significantly more captivating. Remember that when you're standing in your closet. Choose to wear what supports that and give away the rest. This is woman's work.