This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - Abundance: Secrets to Prosperity and Ease with Cathy Heller | 260

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

When you think of abundance, do you think of having more—more money, more success, more stuff? What if true abundance isn’t just about accumulation, but about appreciation? In this episode, Nicole Kalil is joined by Cathy Heller—transformational coach, spiritual guide, meditation teacher, and host of the Abundant Ever After podcast—to challenge everything we think we know about living a full and prosperous life. Cathy’s new book, Abundant Ever After: Tools for Creating a Life of Prosperity and Ease, invites us to shift our mindset, tap into the flow of prosperity, and welcome abundance into every aspect of our lives. Together, Cathy and Nicole explore how abundance is something we tune into, not something we chase, and how trusting in your inherent enoughness can unlock joy and ease in ways you never imagined. So let’s TUNE IN. Tune in to the limitless possibilities, to receive what’s there for you, tune in to the trust that lies within. Trust that you are already enough and create a life that feels full—not just because of what’s in it, but because of who you are in it. Connect with Cathy Heller:  Website: https://www.cathyheller.com/  Book: http://cathyheller.com/book IG: https://www.instagram.com/cathy.heller  FB: https://www.facebook.com/cathyhellerbiz/ Related Podcast Episodes: 206 / A Better Way to Define Success with Stella Grizont 026 / Are Your Money Beliefs Holding You Back? Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

I am Nicole Kalil, and you're listening to the This Is Woman's Work podcast, where together we're redefining what it means, what it looks and feels like to be doing woman's work in the world today. And on this episode, we're going to do that thing that I love to do. We're taking back a word that's being tossed around, that's slapped into soundbites, hijacked by influencers, and overused to the point that it's lost a lot of its meaning. The word is abundance. And to be clear, the reason I feel protective of it, the reason we need to reclaim it is because of its power. Because when society gets its grubby little hands on a word like this, we lose sight of what it can truly mean. When most of us hear

abundance, we immediately think of more. More money, bigger houses, more stuff and things. Abundance in the modern sense has been branded as this constant push to accumulate more in order to prove we're doing life right. But what if, maybe, just maybe, we've been looking at this all wrong? What if abundance is less about accumulation and more about appreciation? What if it's less of an external thing and more of an internal one? Less about what we have and more about who we choose to be. I don't know, friend, but I've found us the guest who does, and we're going to dig into what it truly means to be abundant, not in a flippant, just manifest it way, but in how we can approach our days, our choices, and our thoughts. Because if abundance is only ever something out there

that we're constantly chasing, then spoiler alert, we're always going to feel like we're coming up short. But when abundance becomes something we embody, something we cultivate in our lives, our beliefs, our actions, that's when we start creating and experiencing it in a very real way. And let's be honest, the nonstop messaging to have more, do more, hustle harder, and look good while doing it is fucking exhausting. So buckle up, because we're unpacking what it truly means to be abundant, how to embrace a life of prosperity and ease measured not by the things that we have, but by who we are. Our guest is the Kathy Heller, who you know as a transformational coach, spiritual guide, a meditation teacher, and inspirational speaker dedicated to helping

individuals find ease, joy, and fulfillment in their lives. As the host of the Abundant Ever After podcast and the author of the empowering book, Don't Keep Your Day Job, Kathy inspires us to pursue our dreams and live authentically. the empowering book, Don't Keep Your Day Job, Kathy inspires us to pursue our dreams and live authentically. Her new book, Abundant Ever After, Tools for Creating a Life of Prosperity and Ease, is a calling for us to find joy and meaning beyond just material wealth. Kathy, clearly I'm excited about you and this topic. So thank you for being our guest. And let me kick us off by asking you how you define abundance. Okay. I have to say I'm bursting, Nicole. That was the most exquisite thing you could ever say. And you're such a good writer.

And I'm reformatting in my head now everything I do with my podcast because I want to be like you. And I've never said this to anyone, but I've heard people say this to other people. I think I want to just carry you around with me because you did such a phenomenal job saying everything I wish and hope that I could always be saying. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh my gosh. My pleasure. Thank you. Oh, it's so good. Everything you said. So how do I define abundance? Well, funny you should ask. I just wrote a whole book about this, as you know. So I really, you said before we started recording, you're like, add to whatever you feel and you can push back. So I want to yes and you,

I want to yes and you. Okay. And let's go into that and what that means. You are so correct that when most people are asked, what do you want to create in your life? Well, what do you desire? Or what do you want to manifest any way that you want to ask the question? They will often come back with a list of things like, I would love $10 million. I would love a better house, a better relationship, all of these things. And I don't contend that there's anything inherently wrong with any of those things. Those are all lovely things, like great. And also, I often say to them, let me ask you a question because I believe that as beautiful as that list is, you have way bigger dreams than that. And they say, well, what do you, what do you mean?

And I said, well, I think what you really desire is inner peace. I think what you would really desire is to feel like you're in flow state all the time. I think what you would desire is to live a life that feels mystical because there's so much synchronicity. I think what you would desire is a tremendous sense of purpose and significance in your days. And as I continue to go through the list, they look exactly the way you do now because most people know how to find the highest self that they have within a minute, within a breath. And they look at me like that and go, you're right. Because you could be on the most beautiful beach, staying at the Ritz Carlton and some

gorgeous island. And if you're in your head, pissed at your mother-in-law, then the whole thing is shit. It doesn't matter because you're not enjoying the experience. Everything that I said that people often say that they want to manifest or they want to create in their life, the money, the relationship, the house, it's what you said. What all those things have in common is those are things outside of themselves. And when I teach people how to meditate, which is hysterical to me, because when I first started meditating, I absolutely hated it. It made me so anxious. It was like, it felt like a punishment, like, oh, someone tricked me into doing this so that I can see just how busy my mind is and how

horrific it is to hang out in there. And then I realized exactly why I was doing it wrong and making it so much harder than it actually is. But my point is that when I actually started to meditate and find my center, I realized that everything that we're all always seeking is within the feeling of arriving at our own door. The feeling that right now in this moment, I'm full. I can notice the 17 shades of green outside my window. I can feel the way there is something inside of me that has tremendous equanimity. I can find the part of me that has wisdom. I can find the part of me that's not proving,

that's not chasing. I say to people that anything in nature, if you look at trees, you look at the rivers, they're not in a rush. They're in the moment. And the more I started to find my way to presence and the moment, the darndest thing happened, I was happy and not just happy, like a silly word, be happy, but like even bigger than happy. There was an equanimity. There was a peace. There was a surrendering needing to be in the future, needing something to happen. And when I teach people meditation now, I often say to them, because they feel good like that. They have that level of good feeling. So then I'll say after, let's say we do a 10 minute meditation, I'll say, why on earth,

if you know, you could feel like that, would you wait all day hoping that something happens to make you feel like that when you could give that to yourself? So I'm going to pause there. I'm going to let you ask the next question because I'm the kind of person that can just keep going, but I think that's a good beginning to the answer. Well, so many thoughts and questions running through my mind. First, it reminds me of the question, the follow-up question to what do you want of what's the experience you're looking for? Because so often we think of the things that we want, but underneath it, we want it because we think

it's going to make us feel a certain way. Exactly. If I'm hearing you correctly, what you're saying is a reverse engineering of that, of we create the feeling not from something outside of us, but within us first and foremost. Now, then the question becomes about meditation, because I'm so glad that you said that, because I do feel like I'm doing it wrong a lot of the times. And I'm like, constantly, my mind is running and slowing it down, not being in a rush is a huge opportunity. So any tactical tips for meditation? Yes. And then I want to go back to what I said was my, perhaps you use the word rebuttal. I don't know if it's that harsh, but I want to go back to what I said was my, perhaps you use the word rebuttal.

I don't know if it's that harsh, but I want to talk about the material world because I have a whole comment about that. And I think that we get to have it all. I actually do. And I want to share because I think for women, it's extremely important to go into that. Before I do, the answer to the meditation question is actually so simple that we often skip right over it. So just like your heart beats, because as long as you're on the planet, as long as you're alive, your heart's going to beat. Thank God.

That's how it just goes. So, too, as long as you're on the planet alive, your mind will wander. That's it. That's so crucial to know because most people think when they sit to meditate, they're supposed to not think, but that's impossible. There's a really big difference, but it's subtle, but it's giant. The subtle, but giant difference is not to stop thinking because that you can't do, but to witness your thinking rather than being in the thinking. So the difference would be like, if you were waking up on Christmas morning and you are standing in your living room and you're looking out at a blizzard, it actually looks beautiful

because you're inside and the snow is gorgeous. But if you're walking through the blizzard, it's hell. It's not quite pleasant. Most of the time, we're not in the sense of a weight conscious state where we're witnessing our thoughts and witnessing our experience and just noticing with curiosity and nonjudgmental awareness, what's happening in our mind, what's happening in our body, what's happening. And that's super stimulating, actually, the witnessing of it all. Instead, we're in the mind, in the blizzard, believing everything we think, where most of our thoughts are fake news. Most of our thoughts are the same thoughts we thought yesterday and the day before and the day before that. And they come from our amygdala, which is the part of our brain that thinks it's keeping us safe by trying to create fear.

When people do psilocybin, they do mushrooms, and I haven't, but I actually am so curious about it. Psilocybin turns off the amygdala and opens up your prefrontal cortex, which is your third eye, which is really a whole lot of serotonin is what that is. And when that happens, you feel amazing because you're no longer in the spinning mind. You're having like the direct meditation experience because of the mushroom. When you meditate though, when you understand, remember those pictures where you're looking at them, you don't see anything. They're kind of fuzzy. And then if you learn how to look at them, you see it at a certain point. And I like to do this. I think I'm really good at it. I teach people to meditate and they go, Oh, I just got it. I'm like, right. You're going to keep thinking, but now you're watching your thinking. And like, yeah. And I'll say something like, ask your mind. Ooh, I wonder what my next thought's

going to be. And then you recognize you are the witness to that. And then what happens is, and we know this from research, the part of you that's witnessing, you know, witness to that. And then what happens is, and we know this from research, the part of you that's witnessing, you know, what's crazy. It's not in your brain. It doesn't light up on an fMRI. It's coming from the field of consciousness. We actually don't yet know where that is. We think that that's a point to God, to the divine, to the infinite field. We think that's a little bit of what Einstein said when he said the world was really not made of matter. It's not 3D. It's made of energy. Atoms are 99% energetic, which is also why you can't see them on a microscope. So everything is made of atoms. And 99% of the world that's made of atoms is actually a frequency that you cannot see with

your eyes. It's 1% of particle. When we're in the mind, you can see it all on an fMRI because it's all coming from fear, cortisol, the past. And by the way, every thought you think, every thought you think creates a chemical in your body. So stressful thoughts create cortisol in your body. Cortisol is responsible for all disease. It creates inflammation. Okay. People who live in the blue zones who live into their hundreds, they've studied their lifestyles and their brains and their biochemistry. They have very little cortisol because they very much live in the fullness of the moment. And they all have some kind of prayer practice or some kind of meditation practice, which takes down the cortisol. And if there's no cortisol, there's no inflammation. And if there's no inflammation,

there's no disease, all disease, except for 5% of diseases, which are genetic. They believe that everything else is only a possibility in your genetics. It's your cortisol that turns it on, which is something that happens from your amygdala. So really, if we were all on mushrooms, hypothetically, I don't know that we'd get a lot of podcasts done, but we would probably have less inflammation and we probably would live longer. But the good news is we were built with the capacity to do that for ourself. And then when we think good thoughts, every one of those good thoughts creates serotonin. So we can literally

be a pharmacy. We can literally create serotonin all day long in our mind by being in a state of presence, surrender, equanimity. And that is quite awesome because we can repair our biology by bringing that into our life. So that's the answer to the meditation. And I would love to just comment on the material versus the immaterial. So, you know, I think that it's really fascinating

because as I said, Einstein was so brilliant and he helped us understand that the world is not made of three dimensions, but that's the only thing we see. We see in 3d it's because the eyeball sees things in cubes. Okay. So if we actually saw through the vision of actual reality, we would perceive all 10 dimensions. Okay. So that's amazing. Why is that amazing? Because it would help us see reality as it actually is versus how we perceive it. So the reason I say that is because there is this way broader look at reality that as actual than the one that we actually see. And the one that we actually see and the stories that we've been told in humanity by and

large, tell us things like the more you have, the less somebody else has. They tell us things like, you know, what's yours is yours. What's mine is mine. When, if you really hear what I just said, it's all oneness. All reality is actually, if you looked at us through a certain lens, I studied at UCLA, they have a certain lens to show this. If you were sitting in the room with me, this lens wouldn't know the difference between where you stop and where I begin, because it's like a pool. You're looking at a pool. There's like a little puddle over here, a puddle over here, but they're all connected in the same pool. So there's no such thing as what's yours is yours and what's mine

is mine. There's just the ecosystem of the oneness of all. So if I have a garden and I have a tree and the tree is rotting, well, anybody who knows anything about gardening would say, you've got to help that tree because it will ruin the whole garden if it affects everything. So too, if something is thriving in the garden, it brings life, it brings pollination. So if I paint my house and I upgrade my lifestyle, I just, my neighbor's house just went up in value because I redid my house. If I put a store on main street, not only am I going to hopefully be successful, I'm going to create more opportunities for businesses on main street. Okay. So why I'm saying this is because there is that right away, what we're starting to perceive is there's this oneness and that oneness includes everything that is. there is that right away, what we're starting to perceive is there's this

oneness and that oneness includes everything that is. So what that means is we are given a buffet of everything and we get to have everything, which means you can have an abundance of love in your life. There's never a point where you meet someone new who you really liked and you go, you know, I don't have room to love a new friend. I don't have room for you. I'm full, right? So too, you can have an abundance of wifi. And even if you don't use all of it, you're happy that your data plan is just always there. So too, you could have an abundance of money and you could be a steward of that money and you can enjoy it. Also, there's no shame in that. I think that we have a lot of really weird, actually truly weird stories we tell about the physicality of things. And one of those stories is that we actually make it the end

all be all. And then we actually shame ourselves for wanting it. And then we judge other people for having it. And then we judge other people for having it. And then we make up a story that if we're really whole and abundant, we don't need any of it. But that's still about the resistance because we've made it, we put it on some pedestal. It's all neutral. So what I'm saying is if there's nothing in the million dollars other than, cool, you could buy a nice house, but if you want to feel good in that house, that's still going to be up to you and how you feel inside your mind and your heart. Then all of it gets to be on the table.

It's when we have sort of resistance to something and we've made it something that we need that we then either keep ourselves from having it. Or once we have it, we actually feel anticlimactic because it doesn't do what we thought it was going to do. It's all neutral, all of it. You can take anything beautiful and turn it into hell. It depends how you use it because of what's happening inside of you, right? So the Talmud, I studied in Jerusalem for three years after college, which was like a total surprise. But the Talmud says that money is like rain falling in

a garden. And if rain fell on weeds, it grows the weeds. It's an activator for whatever is. If rain falls on the roses, more roses grow. Money is an activator. It's something that it will activate whatever is already there. So if a person has a lot of integrity and they have money in their life, they will put their name on the back of a hospital. They will open a theater. If a person has no integrity with money, they'll just use it for bad stuff. Same with the internet. It's a tool. People can use it to do what we're doing now or use it to watch porn or whatever maybe is not really in the best, highest and best for themselves in the world, in the world. So I really love saying that to women, because for some reason, and I'm generalizing, but for some reason, it's easier for men to just think of it as like, this is part of what I've set out,

set it, setting out to do. I'm going to be a provider. So I will make money. Like, you know what I mean? And like girls, and I'm generalizing are raised to be like, you need to take the temperature of everyone in the room, which basically makes you codependent. If you rise too much, people will judge you because you need to be nice at all times. So if you have to cost yourself your own self-respect, but you're not, you're nice to people be nice and do everything for free and give everything away. So then all of a sudden, when you feel there actually maybe is an alignment in you that wants to charge more and it's coming from a healthy place, you then make a whole bunch of stories out of that where something's wrong with you and you should just be fulfilled

without it. Everything in Buddhism and everything in Judaism, which are the only two religions I studied and know a little bit about, right? Even the three years I spent there and the 20 years I spent meditation and going on retreats, I know nothing. But the little I can tell you is they're both considered a middle path. Yoga means to yoke the physical and the spiritual. King David was so deeply spiritual. He wrote all these songs, right? The Pentatonix and they're singing Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. He wrote that. Okay. And he was also the wealthiest person at the time. He

owned an empire. Okay. So we are put here, actually, we are being asked to find such neutrality in what is outside of us that we can actually steward all of it from a place of alignment inside. And also what you said is very true. There are people who have made all of their self-worth putting their ladder on a wall called more, but by definition, if we're in this real conversation, we would feel at some point like that's not an alignment. Every instrument in an orchestra, I'll end with this, every instrument in an orchestra is different. There's a tiny triangle, and it has its job to do. And there's a cello, and it's much bigger, and it has its job to do. And every one in the orchestra plays its notes.

When we come home to ourself over and over again, and we listen to that wisdom within us, we know exactly what our notes are to play and we can right size our life. So it's not really an arbitrary, like that's too much or that's too little. It's just raise your hand for the assignment of what it is to be you. If you're a Redwood tree, sorry, my friend, you do need a lot of water. You shouldn't shame yourself for it and you shouldn't not receive it because you'll die. You just need it. If you're an eagle, you can't not fly.

You were born to do it. So it's a little bit of that balance of what is the fullness of me living in my potential? And where am I creating a story to actually make myself okay with something that doesn't feel okay. And the more that we keep meditating, the good news is the wisdom just like comes right in. It's really obvious where the, where the instrument the uh orchestra needs to be and where it's where it's working too hard and where it's right where it needs to be you can tell that's inside of you um and so yeah that is my sort of pitch to all of us to allow ourself to take from the full buffet but take till we're satiated not keep eating until you feel 10 minutes after Thanksgiving

dinner, you went back for one piece of pie. And now we went from full and right-sized to feeling sick. And I think that's the job of every person. I feel like I need to give everybody a minute to rewind and re-listen to that several times. I know I will. There is so much power, but also just different than I think what we hear on a day-to-day basis. Like, I don't know about anybody else tuning in, but my relationship with money is a lot of things, but not neutral. And that is a huge opportunity to spend some time thinking and witnessing the thinking and the beliefs because everything that you said, that would be such a powerful part of creating a more productive, a more empowered relationship with abundance.

I have to ask about the law of reception. Where does that fit in? So like I said before, you know, I grew up Jewish, but with nothing going on spiritually in my house. I knew that Jews ate lox and bagels on Sundays, and I knew that we liked Mel Brooks and Woody Allen. Like that was it. Okay. Long story short, I wound up going on a trip to Jerusalem right after college in 2001, the summer of 2001. So it was like June of 2001. And I thought I was going to be there for like three weeks. And I stayed for three years because I wound up synchronicity led me to a class. It really blew my mind. And I just wanted to keep learning. So I kept extending my trip. And I lived in King David's old city and studied there in these 3,000-year-old stone streets. And it was just quite unbelievably awesome. And my rabbi at the time, who's still my rabbi, Rabbi David Aaron, who lives there with his seven children and his beautiful wife, Hannah,

he was such the embodiment of love. He had no agenda. He didn't care if I was religious, not religious. Like wear a tank top, wear a skirt, nobody cared. It was like, and he was so brilliant. And he taught me the law of reception. And he said to me, have you heard of the law of attraction? Because it was just starting to be like really in vogue and people were watching The Secret or it was right around that time, more or less.

And I said, yeah, everyone's talking about it. And he said, well, I want to tell you so that when you're a part of that conversation, you understand the Jewish idea of that because you might find it fascinating. I said, yeah, what is it? So he said, in Jewish mysticism, Jewish tradition, we would say it's more the law of reception. And what that means, he said, is that the word Kabbalah and just a lot of people, including myself, know very little about a lot of things. So people think Kabbalah is just a lot of people, including myself, know very little about a lot of things. So people think Kabbalah is like its own religion. Kabbalah is like one of the just main texts, like inside of, you know, mainstream Judaism. It's the law. It's like, it's just like in Christianity, there's some like mystical sides of it. It's like, this is the mystical side of

this tradition and it's thousands of years old. Okay. Right. So that word Kabbalah actually means to receive. Okay. So he said, so that's how we know it's about the law of reception. And then he gave me the best metaphor. And I wrote, wrote this in my book. If you take a radio and you put the radio on the desk and you turn the radio on, well, all of a sudden you're going to hear something. You're going to hear music. So he said to me, where was that music before you turned on the radio? I had never thought of that question. And I said, I don't know. And he said, the answer is hidden in plain sight. It's already in the room, but you need to receive it. So I'm saying that slowly because I really want everyone to get it. What that means is everything is in escrow. Everything.

If God is infinite, if Einstein is correct that everything's made of frequency, then it is a radio. And all radio stations exist. All frequencies are here. All frequency that we could possibly pick up with our antenna called our humanity, our heart, our soul, right? But our radio is usually tuned to static. And then when we tune our radio different ways, which sometimes we do, we don't know we're doing it. And then often we blame whatever our life looks like on the music that's playing. Why is this the song? Why is this

my relationship? Why is this my this? Name it, name it, name it. Why is this the way I'm getting paid? Why, why, why? As opposed to understanding, we have the capacity to change that radio station. What does that mean? Well, if we are coming in our, if we're coming into the world and our energetic imprint, Malcolm Gladwell said in Blink that when you walk into a space within four seconds, people can feel your energy within four seconds. That is a real fact. So your energetic imprint is that radio receiver. And if you are looking all the time for the evidence of lack and why you're disappointed, when you walk into a space, the radio that you're playing is a radio station of that sort of staticky, painful song.

It's not a love song, let's just say. But when you meditate or put your feet in the sand and look at the ocean and hug your kids and you have an intimate moment with somebody in hospice and you love each other, whatever those moments are, right? Your radio turns to awe. It turns to peace. And when you walk in the world, people enjoy your energy. And the best compliment is never as fun as it is. I think for girls, I love being told that I look pretty. I really do. But the best compliment is somebody saying you have really good energy. And when that happens, you know, you're on the right radio station because the world is made of the way we, even with my cat, my cat who doesn't speak words

or know where you went to college and is not impressed by what you drive will either come toward you or not because of your energy. So everything that we live amongst animals, plants, people, we're either drawing things towards us or away from us from the radio station. So that's the law of reception. And the reason I like saying the law of reception and I teach it in the book and I teach it in my workshops is because the law of attraction, by definition, makes you think that you're attracting something that's over there to you. Law of reception means it's right here now. You just have to turn on the radio to hear it. And that, to me, makes more sense. A great distinction. And Kathy, this might be

one of the things that you have a different perspective or challenge, but I learned recently that reception or receiving is a feminine energetic. And I was shocked by this because I would have thought giving would be the feminine. Is there anything, since we are talking mostly to women, about, you know, if we lost some of that connection to the feminine, is there something that we might be uniquely equipped to receive as women? Any comments on? Oh my God. I freaking love that question. Okay. So, so Kabbalah, like Jewish mysticism would definitely say that, um, the, the feminine energy is the receptive energy. Okay. Which is everything I just said, right? It's like women, um, innately have this capacity to open up and to receive. If you look at the anatomy,

it is also how it works. The male gives the sperm and the woman is going to receive it. Okay. And then she's going to go to work or make dinner and she's just going to go through her life while creating space to receive this child. And child by her just creating a little equanimity inside of her in space right creating space the baby will do its thing right nature takes its course she just has to be open to receiving literally physically whether she is energetically or not that's literally what happens so if you were to look at a electric outlet, right, there's the socket and then there's the plug. So they're both part of the dynamic, right? And each one of us, no matter how we are gender wise, we have masculine and feminine energy, which needs to be in balance.

Okay. But why it's so important is because when we understand this feminine energy, that again, we all have men and women, the feminine is the surrendered self. The feminine is dancing. The feminine is wild. The feminine is creative. The feminine is playing. That's being receptive. See divine masculine energy, when divine masculine energy is aligned, the divine masculine creates a safety and bedrock on which the feminine energy can be wild and dance. So if we were using that as a metaphor for the earth, the earth would be masculine and the feminine would be all the life that gets sprouted, right? So you were saying giving and receiving. And I think that the way you would maybe change those words to feel aligned with exactly what you mean

is the woman is creative energy, right? So when you think about how things actually happen in this world like apple came up with apple they have to be in flow state for that they can't sit with a pen and pencil and go come up with something inspirational michelangelo had to be in receptive mode because when tom petty is playing the guitar or you're in a moment with your kids that actually winds up being a great moment, that moment was spontaneous. Now, why is that more feminine energy? Because when we're in flow state, we're not in a sense of trying to control and predict. We're in a sense of being receptive to the moment and letting the moment move through us. So there's ease, there's calm. And the most impressive person in a room is always the most loving, the person who's available for all. Open, receptive, that's what I mean. Receiving,

right? So that when someone comes in the house, they say, I always feel like I could tell you anything, right? My dad says part of the reason he married my mom is because her mother, my grandmother really listened to him. That's very feminine. And what men more innately want to do is go and do. In fact, if you look at the cycle, sperm re-ups itself every day, 24 hours, it's ready again to give that seed, right? The feminine cycle is a whole month to create one portal of receptivity. So reception is space. It's not hustling. It's not in doing mode. It's in being mode.

And in being mode, we receive the downloads. We receive the creative impulses. We can receive other people because we're not so busy trying to do and be impressive. We're in the room making space for everybody. So I think it's just how we've defined giving and receiving. But I think most people who have a lot of space, you go into somebody's houses, right? Sometimes you go into someone's home, there's a lot of space, but there's no room because no one has space for each other. You can go into somebody else's space. They live in a tiny place, but the people in the space make a lot of space for each

other. That's reception. It's opening up our heart. It's receiving, receiving love, receiving what we feel that's coming in from the field around us, right? That is feminine energy. So yes, everybody has both, but there is a way in which the masculine and the feminine feel most aligned. And in those ways, for women, the reception has to be sort of what we lead with. And Brene Brown talked about how there's a lot of vulnerability in spontaneity because you're letting go of trying to control and predict the outcome. And that's a little bit more masculine because that's their job is to predict and create safety so that we can dance. It's just a total paradigm shift of

looking at it, what it means to give and receive. Yeah. I think that's kind of been my entire experience throughout our conversation is we're not talking about steps to take. We're talking about an entire paradigm shift. And that feels both inspiring and motivating and also a little daunting and overwhelming, at least for me. So Kathy, I don't know how to phrase this into doing mode, but is there some sort of steps we can take or things to focus on? Is it, you know, carve out some space for meditation? Is it, what would be your next suggestions to create a life of abundance? So what I would say to you is, first of all, that feeling of overwhelm, what I perceive. First of all, I would also feel overwhelmed if I was perceiving it where there's like this feeling of like there's nothing to do. And the reason why and the reason why I'll tell you what I think is to do is because it's really fun to play. And when I was a little kid and I'm still like this, I want to do all the time because I want to live my life from playing and creating. And that's definitely what's next. So what I would say is take lots of action because it's how we take action. You can't

steer from a park car. You also can't ride it to the beach. You also can't go pick up a friend. There's something about the intention that creates the effect, you know? And so inspired action is playing. Everybody's wants to play. So when people say, what do I do? I'm like, what if you started to do things without thinking about the outcome as the ROI? How much more fun would it be to start a podcast if you didn't put pressure on yourself to do it perfectly? Oh, that would kind of be fun. How much more fun would it be to try to write a book if you told yourself, make a shitty first draft? Okay, I could do that. So it's how we do things. Like when we're doing things and there's a tight grip and we're doing them for a specific outcome, we're now no longer in the moment, no longer having fun.

We're hoping that some moment in the future will bear fruit. That is not how we manifest. That is not how we have joy. But if in every moment you realize that you were put here to be of service, to create things, say things, to do things, to make things happen, and that the doing of them is the joy, then you get really busy having a blast. And so I love coming up with ideas, writing books, creating podcasts, coming up with, I've written song. I used to write songs for 10 years for TV shows and film and TV. And I'm always inspired to do the next thing. And so I love coming up with like, what would be the next most, what would be the next most fun thing I can do? It's like, I'm going to create a summit. I'm going to go email this person. I'm going to create a

whole, you know, thousand days of, you know, gratitude pages. I'm like, There's no end to what to do. It's the releasing of, in order to get to where I want to be, what steps get me there? It's like, no, where are you going to get here? And so when you play, the here is the best. And then the most amazing thing happens, which is all the blessings take care of themselves. And wherever you're meant to go, it'll come right to you because you're in such a state of wholeness and your vibration is so buzzing with joy and everything wants to be around you. And then you'll have so many opportunities to consider, you won't even know which one to choose. So there's a lot to do. Kathy Heller, I am experiencing the most amount of gratitude. Thank you so much for an incredible conversation and just for being here today. I am sure our listeners want to learn more. So the

website is kathyheller.com. And you must, for the love of all things holy, get your hands on her book, Abundant Ever After, available on Amazon or go to your local bookstore. Let's keep them in business. Kathy, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you. Okay, friend, here's what I'm walking away with. Abundance isn't just a wish list of stuff or constantly pushing for more just so we can finally feel enough. It's less about net worth and more about self-worth. And what I really learned is that it's about all of it. It's less about net worth and more about self-worth. And what I really learned is that it's about all of it. It's about creating a life that feels full, not just because of what's in it, but because of who you are in it. It's about trusting that you are more than enough

and the choice to live each day with an overflowing sense of plenty. As Wayne Dyer said, abundance is not something we acquire. It's something we tune into. So let's tune in. Tune into the limitless possibilities to receiving what's there already for you. Tune into the trust that lies within. Witness your thinking. Create, play, and dance. Because deep down, I believe we already know that that is woman's work.