This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - Sequins, Miscommunication, and Marriage | Unfiltered & Unhinged

Episode Date: April 17, 2026

In this unfiltered and unhinged solo episode, Nicole Kalil shares a story she is absolutely still not over: The Great Sequin Debacle of 2016. What started as a simple request — “what’s the dress code?” — turned into a full-blown miscommunication, a gold sequin gown moment, and a night she’d very much like to erase from public memory… except now it’s a podcast episode. Because what seems obvious to you might not be obvious to someone else. And when you’re building a life, a relationship, or even just packing for a trip, assumptions can lead to some very uncomfortable (and very sparkly) consequences. But beyond the story, this episode gets into something way more important: why miscommunication happens in relationships — and how to fix it. This episode is equal parts relatable, hilarious, and actually useful! Nicole shares the simple tool she and her husband now use to actually get on the same page: Family Forecasting. Nicole breaks down how to: Stop relying on assumptions in your relationship Get aligned on schedules, priorities, and decisions (and dress codes) Use family forecasting to avoid unnecessary conflict Strengthen connection through intentional conversations Because the goal isn’t to avoid every misunderstanding — it’s to stop creating the ones you could have prevented. And if you can avoid a sequin-level crisis in the process? Even better. Thank you to our sponsors! Shopify has everything all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/tiww  Gusto is online payroll and benefits software built for small businesses. Try Gusto today at gusto.com/TIWW, and get three months free when you run your first payroll. Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/TIWW for free shipping and 365-day returns! Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free! Connect with Nicole: Subscribe to Nicole’s Substack: https://nicolekalil.substack.com/  Join the Inner Circle: https://nicolekalil.myflodesk.com/newsletter  Download the Family Forecasting Agenda: https://nicolekalil.com/resources  Related Podcast Episode Women Are Tired — Stop Pointing It Out | Unfiltered & Unhinged The Episode About Balls | Unfiltered & Unhinged Yell for Help | Unfiltered & Unhinged Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, I'm Cassidy. And I'm April. And together we are fashion historians, friends, and co-hosts of Dress, the History of Fashion, a podcast about why the clothes we wear matter throughout history and around the world. From the cultural and societal to the personal and often political, with each episode we explore the multitude of meanings, quite literally sewn into the clothes we wear. Please join us in unraveling the hidden histories residing in your closet. New episodes are available on Wednesdays and our dressed classic episodes re-air

each Friday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever else you listen to your favorite shows. I am Nicole Khalil and you're listening to the This Is Woman's Work podcast, the Unfiltered and Unhinged Edition. Short episodes, big truths, absolutely zero perfection. Okay, friend, have you ever had one of those, do you even know who I am moment with your partner? Yeah, me too. Let me tell you about the great sequin debacle of 2016 because, yes, like any reasonable woman, I will absolutely still bring up an argument from 10 years ago and feel totally justified in doing so.

And also, what's the point of having a podcast if you can't put your husband on blast every once in a while? Anyway, here's the setup. My husband Jay has a work trip, and I ask for one, just one thing. And it's the overview of the agenda. Mostly so I don't pack 17 outfits and 18 pairs of shoes for a three-day trip,

but I think we all know I was going to pack them all anyway, right? But anyway, rather than just forwarding me said agenda, he tells me that it's all summer casual except for one dinner that's formal, to which I confirm formal, like gowns, not cocktail dresses. And he says, yep, formal. Great. Crystal clear, no notes, right? So obviously, I go all in. We're talking renting a full gold sequin gown, multiple hours of hair and makeup and shoes

that looked fabulous, but I'm pretty sure abandoned. tortured devices in some other countries. I was sparkly and I was ready until we walked to the elevator and outside of this elevator waiting are two other couples that are on the trip with us and they're dressed, shall we say, casually, sundresses, sandals and that we've been drinking since lunch vibe, right? Meanwhile, I'm standing there like I've been personally invited to the Oscars by whoever won Best Actor in 2016. And that was Leonardo DiCaprio because I just look that up. And okay, that wouldn't have been so bad, but that's not the point of my story. Anyway, we walk up because I cannot locate the nearest exit fast enough. And one of the guys,

blinded by the reflected light from my sequins, kind of grins at me and says, wow, Nicole, you really went all out. Yes, yes, I did. Friend, I have never wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole faster. Being the human disco ball that I was, I couldn't run because of the stupid fucking shoes, and I definitely couldn't hide. And my brain wasn't working fast enough to fake my death or stage wardrobe malfunction, so I had no choice but to pray that someone else's husband also misread the dress code. And of course, I think you know the spoiler here is that no one else did. And again, I think it's important to reiterate that this is all Jay's fault. I take absolutely no responsibility here. I mean, friend, it was like stepping into an alternate universe. Everyone else,

literally everyone else was in sundresses, shorts, and sandals. I swear more than one person was still wearing their bathing suit and cover up. Meanwhile, I looked like I was booked to light the stage for the grand finale of some Vegas show. Needless to say, I didn't speak to Jay for the rest of the night. I gave him the silent treatment with a, you will regret this for eternity, and I'll still tell people about this 10 years later kind of glare. And honestly, I think we can all agree that he deserved it. But neither of us knew at that time that I would have a platform like this to tell people about it. So let's fast forward 10 years to now. And yes, I'm aware that I should have probably let this go already. But we got invited to another Black Tie event a few months back. And you'd better believe

that I wasn't about to let history repeat itself. I double check the invite. I texted two separate people to confirm and I had a backup dress just in case. And praise be, I mean, seriously, lives were saved here. It was actually black tie. And I'm happy to report that we are still married. Okay, so obviously funny story, but here's the thing and really the point that I'm getting at here. This whole ridiculous debacle reminds me that no matter how much we love each other, partners don't always speak the same language. And sometimes what seems blindingly obvious to one like formal clearly means sequins is totally lost on another. And it's funny, okay, funny now, how miscommunications like that happen in relationships, which brings me to the reason for this

episode, because I bet you're wondering. And that is when it comes to important things like planning your life and family decisions, you really don't want to rely on assumptions. And what isn't a big deal to one person could end up being the subject of a very public podcast episode to another. And one of the best things to come out of the great sequin debacle of 2016 is instead of assuming that we're aligned, Jay and I started doing something we call family forecasting. A few times a year, we sit down and we actually get on the same page. We talk through priorities, schedules, goals, expectations, decisions, how to support each other, and on occasion, dress codes. And I've turned our family forecasting sessions into a simple tool and agenda that you can use to.

because winging it and hoping that you're on the same page, well, that may result in sequins trauma and some silent treatment. So you can grab our agenda. It's free. It's the one we use on my website at nicolecala.com. Or you can click the link in show notes and use it however it works for you and your partner. We also have a couple of episodes that we've done about it, episode 3 and episode 144, where Jay joined me.

And to be clear, we've done episodes about the family forecasting agenda. not the sequins drama. That's new for today. Anyway, if you want some tips from us on what's worked and what hasn't worked for us in the past, you can click on the link in show notes or go to my website Nicole Colell.com. Because let's be real. It's way better to laugh together about life's little surprises than to sit through dinner in silence, plotting revenge and communicating murder through a side eye. So here is to better communication, deeper connection, and fewer sequin-related crises. Because figuring this stuff out together, messy, imperfect, sometimes wildly overdressed, all of that is woman's work.