This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - The 15-Minute Method To Getting It Done with Sam Bennett | 233

Episode Date: September 13, 2024

Easing the mental load, minimizing the to-do list, letting go of the things that don’t really matter is a constant work in progress for me – but when I’m in the throes of it all, I often think ���there’s got to be a better way”. I’ve invited Sam Bennett, creativity/productivity specialist to join us to share her 15 minute method with all of us. Sam is the author of the bestselling book Get It Done as well as Start Right Where You Are: How Little Changes Can Make a Big Difference for Overwhelmed Procrastinators, Frustrated Overachievers, and Recovering Perfectionists. Her latest book just released in June and is called The 15-Minute Method: The Surprisingly Simple Art of Getting It Done. Having spent most of her life working as a professional actor and improvisor, Sam brings a quick wit to her writing and her work as a top instructor on LinkedIn Learning with over a million “learners” worldwide.  It will all get narrowed down to those very few things that matter most at the end, so what are we waiting for? Someone else to decide what truly matters for us? A point in time where things all of a sudden get easy and simple? No, we get to decide. And like so many things worth doing, we start small, one step at a time, 15 minutes devoted to what matters most to you.  Connect with Sam: Website:  www.TheRealSamBennett.com  Book: The 15 Minute Method: The Surprisingly Simple Art Of Getting It Done FB: https://www.facebook.com/TheRealSamBennett  IG: https://www.instagram.com/therealsambennett  X: https://twitter.com/realsambennett  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/therealsambennett   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SamanthaBennettCreative  Like what you heard? Please rate and review  Thanks to our This Is Woman’s Work Sponsor: Interested in promoting your product, service, online course or book on the This Is Woman’s Work podcast? We love nothing more than supporting women-owned businesses! Email [e-mail] to learn more.

I am Nicole Kalil, and like so many women, I'm a recovering perfectionist, a recuperating over-committer, and a terrible multitasker. Seriously, friend, I can't work on two things at the same time. Hell, I can't watch TV and talk or even walk and text. I often find myself standing in the middle of aisles, sidewalks, and hallways with my phone in my hand, wondering how long I've been standing there. And like so many of you, I also have a very long, seemingly never-ending to-do list. Who am I kidding? I have multiple to-do lists in multiple places and pretty consistently add more than I check off. I'm embarrassed at how

often I have something that I need to do and it'll pop into my mind and I think, oh, I won't forget this. And then I forget it. And then I spend far too much time trying to remember this very important thing that I have to do. And of course, I too much time trying to remember this very important thing that I have to do. And of course, I make up that this thing that I'm forgetting is a career defining and probably something that I've let everybody down in forgetting only to remember a few hours later that the thing was something totally mundane, like ordering JJ some new socks. So easing the mental load, minimizing the to-do list, letting go of the things that don't really matter is a constant work in progress for me. But when I'm in the

throes of it all, I often think there's got to be a better way because things must get done, but stress and overwhelm are not healthy for anyone. And because being so focused on the doing doesn't leave much time and space for the being and the learning. Because, and let's be honest about this, many of us wear all the things we do and accomplish like it's a badge of honor. But that badge is costing us some pretty important things

like our creativity, our connection, and our health. So I've invited Sam Bennett, Creativity Productivity Specialist, to join us to share her 15-minute method with all of us. Sam is the author of the bestselling book, Get It Done, as well as Start Right Where You Are, how little changes can make a bigmed Procrastinators, Frustrated Overachievers, and Recovering Perfectionists, which seems like she's just talking to me. Her latest book, just released in June, is called The 15-Minute Method, The Surprisingly Simple Art of Getting It Done. Having spent most of her life working as a professional actor and improviser, Sam brings a quick wit to

her writing and her work as a top instructor on LinkedIn Learning with over a million learners worldwide. She now lives happily in an old house with three cats, which is just how she always imagined it might be, which I love. Okay, Sam, I have many questions, so thank you for joining me. I have to ask first because honestly, I'm a little skeptical about it. Can we really get anything done in 15 minutes a day? Hi, thank you. Hi, everybody. Yes.

Perfect. Yeah. I mean, the thing of this is, of course, you already are. You're already living your life in 15 minute increments. You know, how do you stay married? 15 minutes at a time. How do you raise a child? 15 minutes at a time. You know, how do you keep things clean and organized? Generally 15 minutes at a time. And so if you've just heard something sort of snap inside your mind, like I'm glad because one of the big deceptions or self-deceptions that I

hear about all the time is like, well, I would do X, Y, Z, but I just, I don't have the time. Like I need the time. I need a, I need three months, you know, on a writing retreat in Provence. I need two free weekends to clean out the garage. Really? What weekend are those? Show me those weekends. Because I guarantee you don't have two free weekends. And if you did, you don't want to spend them cleaning out the garage. Agreed. In my coaching work and even with myself, how often we do that, like I just need a week to reset or to get caught up or whatever. And you're right. We are doing everything in little snippets. And I say this maybe mostly to myself, this, we don't have the time. And yet if we added up the amount of minutes

we spend on things that aren't serving us like social media or any of the games or whatever, we could certainly find the 15 minutes. So when you say get it done, what is it? What is it that we're supposed to be doing? Can you give us some examples here? Sure. I've got two things that are coming to mind. One is the things that are probably already on your to-do list of things to do, like clean out the garage. But there's also the list of things that you know would really make a difference to you, that would fuel your soul, that would put a light in your eyes, that you just love to do for whatever reason, or would be important to you, your body, your health, your finances, your family. And somehow, all day, every day, we get everything done for everybody else.

And the thing that you know would really make a difference to you doesn't even make it on the list. So that's my first agenda, is for y'all to spend 15 minutes a day on something that matters to you. And I don't care if it matters to anybody else. I don't care if it matters to anybody else. I don't care if anybody even knows about it. But for you to take that time to just nourish yourself. Yeah. So my brain goes tactical. I know that's not maybe the best place to go, but any recommendations on how we begin a 15 minute increment on something that matters to only us

when we've so clearly gotten out of the habit and we already feel like we don't have time. Do we schedule it in? How do we begin? So I have a couple of thoughts. One is skip the first step. Whatever you think the first step needs to be like well i would write a screenplay except i should probably read a book on screenwriting first like nah fuck it just start writing i would you know i would start you know stretching 15 minutes a day but you know i need better shoes no you don't just start stretching just kitchen dance to buddy holly for 15 minutes it's fine um so that's that would be for overthinkers and over planners and Apple polishers. I know you little A plus getters out there are like, but I know I have to know the

right way to do this, Sam. No, there is no right way to do it. It's 15 minutes out of your life that you're spending for you. So, you know, as I say in the book, fuck it up, whine and cry, show up stoned, like do it poorly. My new favorite mantra. Okay, good. I'm telling you what, it's brilliant. And if you don't know what to do, you can make a list of a bunch of different 15 minute tasks and then just pick one and do it. You could also just stare at a blank piece of paper for 15 minutes because you know what never hurt anybody 15 minutes of enforced boredom and when was the last time you gave yourself the privilege and the honor of looking at a blank piece of paper for 15 minutes without reaching for your phone

completely and that actually jumped out at me a lot when I was prepping for our interview is the connection to creativity in all of this and in your work, these 15 minutes, and very specifically as it relates to allowing ourselves to be bored for 15 minutes. I've heard this so many times that this is good for kids and it sparks creativity. If it's good for them, it's good for us. That's right. So thank you for saying that, that it doesn't need to be all figured out and there isn't a first step that makes this all work and all of that. So I guess in your research, how does a 15-minute strategy help? How does it help creativity? Again, in preparation notice, it helps ADHD. You said the neuro spicy. I love that. How are we seeing this play out?

Yeah. So the first thing I just want to hop in on and clarify is the word creative, because there's been an unfortunate collapsement in the language between the words creative and artistic. And those are not the same thing. Everyone is creative. Not everyone is artistic. Everyone has the ability to solve problems in an innovative way. That's what creativity is. It's innovative problem solving. Not everyone is artistically inclined. Not everyone likes to paint or draw or sing or dance or whatever. So your creativity might express itself in coding. Your creativity might express yourself in your ability to give compliments that thing that all your family and friends are like, wait, you just paid how much to go to an exhibition on what that's where? And you're like, no, no, no, I'm really looking forward to it. I can't wait.

And you're like, OK, like that stuff. That's part of your zone of creative genius, right? That stuff that you're just sort of mysteriously interested in and always love and would do any time of day or night. Things that maybe come a little more naturally to you where you're like, why can't other people do this or why is this easier for me? Is that also maybe some indication of our. A hundred percent. And I will say tip of the hat to Gay and Katie Hendricks and their work on Zones of Genius. If you haven't read their work, go for it. It's amazing. But yeah, it's often easy for us to miss our Zones of Genius because it does come so naturally to us. It's

so much a part of who we are that we don't even think of it as being a thing. Or we think like, well, of course, obviously everyone can do this. No, they can't. No, they can't. And even if they can, it's the thing that lights you up. That's where my concern is. This is something like, oh, I don't have time. Of course you have time. You have the same 24 hours that all of us have. Nobody gets more time than anybody else. So drop that story. I own my own business.

My 80-year-old mother lives with me. I'm a full-time caregiver. I got a long-term illness. I've had long-haul COVID for the last two and a half years. Believe me, I understand the restrictions of time and energy. And you still have 15 minutes. Right. I often think of time management as a misnomer because of what you said. We're not managing time. We all have the same amount of it. It's fixed. It's neutral. What we're managing are the choices we make with the time that we have, which sounds logical and simple,

but as is the case for many of us, isn't easy. I think because we've become addicted. I mentioned it as a badge of honor. We've become addicted to our busyness. Agree, disagree. Oh, I would love to put an end to this game of international I'm so busy poker going on. You know, this, oh my God, I'm so busy. Really? You're so busy. I am so busy. Like, okay, drop it. Do not get extra points for being busy. No one cares that you're busy. We're all busy. You're tired at the end of the day, no matter what you're doing. So just find something more interesting to say, right? People say, how are you? Instead of saying busy, you know, how are you? Deeply fulfilled and yet challenged. How are you? Really engaged in the work of Louisa May Alcott right now. How are you? Working on some needlepoint. You know, it's a

project for my god child that was supposed to be done when she was born. And now she's graduating high school. So I think I'm going to get through it really quick. Share who you are instead of this badge of, oh, I'm so busy. Cause you know, we're taught, we are all taught. I think women get it especially taught, but we are all taught that the only thing that matters is everything you do for everybody else. Right. That it's selfish to spend time on yourself. It's selfish to spend time on the things that matter to you. And I want to suggest that the opposite is true. Because what's really selfish is you walking around exhausted and stressed out

and with no sense of humor and the rest of us have to deal with you like that. That is selfish. You show up calm, rested, a light in your eyes. You know, you take 15 minutes for yourself. You're a better listener. You're less reactive. Even the Trader Joe's parking lot will not make you as crazy because you've centered inside of yourself a little bit and you get that little bit of self-approval, that little bit of, you know, like positive smugness, you know, that you get like when you go to the gym in the morning or get laid in the morning or whatever, you spend all day walking around being like, that's right. How are you? Right. So how can we start to leverage that and just these little slivers of joy?

I mean, look, I want the four months in Provence for you too. But until that day comes, we have today. Right. And even before the end of today, we have 15 minutes. I sometimes wonder for myself, the busyness is a cover for something. It's a hiding of something, a fear, I'm avoiding something. I guess, have you learned anything about that besides societal expectations, which are very fair and very real? I mean, fair to acknowledge that that's impacting us,

not that the societal expectations are fair. But is there anything more internal that you're seeing that sort of has us lean hard on this busyness and preventing us from doing what we really want to be doing? I think there's a couple of things going on for me for many years. Busy was my second favorite narcotic, right? Because if I'm busy enough, then the only feeling I really have to manage is tired and tired can cover up a whole avalanche of sins, right? Tired. If I'm tired, if I'm busy and I'm tired, then I don't have to face the fact that I am unfulfilled, unrewarded, bored out of my gourd. A lot of you are walking around saying you're overwhelmed when you're not overwhelmed, you're underwhelmed. You've got a list of stuff to do that you don't really care about. Of course, that's when you're like tired before you even start. It was like, ugh, right? So busy, however, can be a good mask for those problems,

right? So that would be one inquiry I might invite a person into. Like if I weren't busy, if I weren't tired, if I weren't overwhelmed, what would I be? Oh, I'd be bitterly disappointed. Oh, I'd be in need of having an important conversation with someone. I'm so wildly glad I asked that question because that was absolutely a mic drop moment. And yes, so much to think about and consider there. A little hard to hear, but dead on. If we can't be honest with ourselves, who can we be honest with, right? Absolutely. And I will, just to not leave you all hanging, there's a tip in the book that's my favorite

thing, which is if you are going, oh no, I do have to have a serious conversation with someone. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to. Of course you don't. Here's how to frame that up. This works magic. Say, hi, Nicole, is now an okay time for us to have a conversation that I really wish we did not have to have? Or hi, Nicole, is now an okay time for us to talk about something that has previously been undiscussable? This little phrasing is magic because first of all, it gives the person a heads up and lets them go like, oh gosh, yes, of course, right now. Or, oh my goodness, can we talk at five? Is five okay? Right? So you're not just going in there guns blazing like, we have to talk right now. Right?

You're giving them a second, which is only polite. And you're letting them know like, you're not crazy about this either. This is not you against them. This is the two of you against this thing. The two of you against the fact that the living room is a mess. Your mother's coming to visit and we haven't had sex in six months. You and me against the fact that I'm not like this job anymore. You and me against whatever it is, right? And when you are on the same team as someone, even when it's uncomfortable,

you're gonna get a lot more progress than if it's me against you. A quick announcement for all the incredible women entrepreneurs and business owners who are listening in. If you are looking to expand your reach and showcase your products, your online courses, books, or services to an engaged and growing audience, well then look no further. This Is Woman's Work is all about celebrating women and we're now providing a platform where your business

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your business grow. I hope you're as excited as I am. And now let's head back to the show. Yeah, great reframe. And I just want to make sure I'm not skipping over the 15 minute method and that I'm also maybe not over simplifying it or maybe it's intentionally simplified, but it's basically committing to finding, creating 15 minutes at a time to spend on something that matters to you, irrespective if it impacts or matters to anyone else.

Yeah. And some of the ways that we can do this is create a list of all the things that matter to us or the things we've always wished we would do or say things we say we want to do. And I put in air quotes, if we had more time. Right. And then just begin to practice that because it gives us a sense of self, of pride, of a different level of achievement when we're working on something that matters to us. And we may actually be better at all the other things throughout our day and with the people we interact with throughout our day because we've done something that matters to us. Did I miss anything? The only thing I would add to it is the magical effect of doing it every single day.

Right? And we know that, sure, if I practice ukulele every day for a week for 15 minutes, you know, I would get a little bit better. If I did it every day for a month or for six months or for six years or for 63 years, I would become a significantly better ukulele player. It is also amazing how much you can actually get done in 15 minutes. I offer a thing for sale on my website. It's a little membership

thing. It's called the Daily Practicum. People pay a subscription and they, and every day, every weekday at nine Pacific, 12 Eastern, we get on Zoom for 15 minutes. Hi, set timer. Timer goes off. Hi. And like a Zoom room full of faces look up at me with this post-orgasmic glow. They're like, oh my gosh, you won't believe what I got done. I mean, I didn't. I called that person. I've been waiting to call that person for six weeks. I've been putting off calling that person. And I totally just called them. I sent that note to my friend who just lost her husband and I didn't know what to say but I did it. I wrote the note. I took this giant pile of paper and now it is a slightly smaller giant piece of pile of paper. Like whatever it is that matters to you. I spent, I went and sat

in the garden with the sun on my face for 15 minutes. It's transformative. And even things like, well, Sam, I've got, you know, you can't clean out the garage in 15 minutes. No, except let's say you were to take your tumbler of wine or tea or whatever it is you like out to the garage for 15 minutes and you just sat there and sort of contemplated. Just contemplate the garage for 15 minutes. Try not to get mad at it. Just soak it in. And it may be that at minute 12, you go, hold the phone. Those seven boxes are my brothers. And now we take three minutes,

Jeffrey, come get your crap out of my garage. And now we take three minutes, Jeffrey, come get your crap out of my garage. Right? And now we've cleared out half the garage without even having to do anything. And then maybe the next day, again, we take a little mug of something warm into the garage, and we go, all right, well, what's in this Rubbermaid tote? Oh, this is Christmas stuff. Why don't I label it Christmas so I can tell what it is without having to look inside next time. And I'll put it towards the back. Cause I don't, I only need that stuff once a year. Great. And then maybe tomorrow, I'm going to wheel that busted bike out to the corner and say busted,

but free put a sign on it done. Like the cumulative effect is amazing. And then yes, you make it to get to the point where you're like, you know what? Okay. Team team family, let's go. We're going to clean out this garage. We're going to clean out the rest of this garage. It's going to take us three hours and then we're done. It's going to be beautiful.

Yeah. And you said this earlier, and I think it's just worth repeating. We sort of suspend judgment about the 15 minutes, like from a, it's supposed to look a certain way. I mean, my my brain the recovering perfectionist in me is fighting against the like is there a step by what do I do for each of the minute of the 15 minutes and the like that there's supposed to be something a specific accomplished or I love this idea of stare at a blank paper for 15 minutes or contemplate the garage for 15 minutes, it feels so much more approachable. But let me just ask again, it doesn't sound like there is a right or wrong way to do this

or an outcome in that 15 minutes that's supposed to magically fix everything. That's right. Yeah. This is not about tactics or strategy. This is about your values and living a life that hews more closely to your values. We've all seen those stories about the hospice patients who, number one, regret spending way too much time doing things that I felt other people wanted me to do. Doing things to try and make other people happy, which if only you had that power, wouldn't that be delightful? That would be great. But you don't have the power to make other people happy. So knock it off. And yeah, this is the other beautiful thing about the 15 minute method. And as much as there's even a method there is it does kind of hopscotch right

over your perfectionism because it's 15 minutes. How good is it going to be? And you're going to do it again tomorrow. So, you know, write some crappy poetry, organize this much of your closet, you know, look at four different shirts and go, okay, this, I hate this shirt and give it away. Fine. Done. Right. We're not trying to read. We're not trying to build Rome in a day. And, and what I find again, the little, you know, when you start just following the sparkly breadcrumbs, like, well, I don't know where to start, but this is sort of interesting. So maybe I'll do that. I don't know where to start, but I have sort of half of a really lame idea about X, Y, Z. Great. Start with the half of the lame idea about X, Y, Z. Again, it's 15 minutes. You make it to the end of the 15 minutes and go, right. Not what I'm interested in. That did not work. Right. Great. Now you know. Right. I know what not to do with my next 15 minutes. Great.

I do mine. I mean, just as an example, I do mine. Mine's a little sort of prayer and meditation kind of journaling practice. I do either I write a letter to God or God writes a letter to me, depending on who needs to say what to whom. And I do that before I even roll over. Like that is my first thing in the morning before my CPAP machine is off almost. I mean, like it's really the first thing I do. And I noticed that if I don't do it, my day kind of goes a little wonky crappy. And when I do do it, things stay in a little bit of more of an even keel and it changes. I mean, sometimes it's, you know, really deep and meaningful. Sometimes it's me writing the same things over and over again. Usually is. But I know it makes a difference to me.

And then it makes me better, calmer, more centered, which then means that I can be of greater service to the people and the communities that I love and want to serve better. And I think speaks to all of us as something we would wish for ourselves too. Again, in preparation, I noticed you have a few, I don't know if expressions is the right word, and I'm just curious about them. I don't know if they tie into the 15-minute method or not, but the alchemy of effort, spotlight syndrome, and grumpy magic. I mean, I'm just wildly curious. So what is the alchemy of effort? And does this even tie in, or am I taking us down a rabbit trail, which I'm okay with because in this 15 minutes,

we're going to go where we go. That's right. Yeah. So the alchemy of effort is literally changing lead into gold, right? And it has to do with that exponential effect of when you, because here's the newsflash, when you do things, things happen. When you do things, things happen. And when you don't do things, things don't happen. This whole like, oh, I've got to think about it, right? Abstracting yourself out of doing into, I'm thinking, right? Nothing's going to happen with the thinking. It's not going to happen.

Most of what you need to know is on the other side of the doing. So the alchemy of effort is you put a little effort into something. You do a thing. You make a thing. You something. And then it's already changed because it's gone from being inside of your head to onto a piece of paper or into the world in some fashion. And then somebody else sees it or interacts with it and they are changed and it is changed because it's been viewed, right? Was that Schrodinger's cat or something? And then you are changed because it is changed. And we get this like sort of

moibus strip, this sort of infinity loop of the thing. And you know this, you've written a book, like you had your intentions when the book went out, but then other people read it and they come back with their comments and their experiences and you go, oh my gosh, I never would have predicted that. Or I didn't realize that would read that way. That's interesting. Or, oh shoot, I said that I'm being misunderstood. Okay. Whatever it is. And even if the reaction is negative, you know, even if you do something, people are like, oh, we hate that. Whatever it is. And even if the reaction is negative, you know, even if you do something, people are like, oh, we hate that. Like, okay. Interesting. Let's keep playing with it. Whatever. So that's the alchemy of effort is just don't anticipate your practical,

logical mind to be able to anticipate the magical alchemical effects of you, again, making your little dolls or doing whatever it is that you love to do. It may seem silly and small, but you don't know. You don't know the effect it can have on people. And what I'm hearing is these 15 minutes that we spend on something that matters leads to exponential opportunity results, return, whatever you want to call it. It's like 15 minutes isn't just 15 minutes here. Yeah. And if you're into the woo at all, I feel like it kind of lets the angels know you're

serious. That's a great way to put it. Yes. Yep. You know, there's a difference between like, oh yeah, I really want to go to Paris too. Like I'm spending 15 minutes every day writing on a budget for Paris. I'm spending 15 minutes every day writing on an itinerary for Paris. I'm spending 15 minutes every day cruising the discount airfare sites so I can get it in under the, you know, like what is,

you know, I'm like, that's how things, and then, and then, cause we've all had this happen, right? You take a couple of little tiny baby steps towards something you're sort of interested in. And all of a sudden the universe comes rushing at you. I cannot count how many times I've had clients and students say like, I don't know, Sam, I don't think this 15 minute thing was going to work. But then I started, you know, I just wanted to write a book. So I started writing 15 minutes a day. And then the other day I was in line at the dry cleaners and it turns out the

person next to me, her sister's a literary agent. And now I have a meeting next week. I'm like, right. Yeah. It happens all the time. It's crazy. Cause your mind I have a meeting next week. I'm like, right. Yeah. It happens all the time. It's crazy. Cause your mind is, cause it's not magic. It's, you know, your brain is good at finding answers to questions. Your brain is good at finding what it's looking for. If I tell you, go find all the red things, your brain will automatically start looking for red things. So when you are doing this action of, I making this thing happen i am creating this thing this life for myself you start to find the resources and reinforcements to do that and is that spotlight

syndrome or is that something different no spotlight syndrome is that self-consciousness we feel when we think that everybody's looking at us like ah yes or that everybody cares infinitely about everything we're doing and saying right and we bobble our words or where and everyone's noticing and oh my god they're gonna think i'm an idiot i had a client one time this is the most heartbreaking thing ever she was very new actor in la very green she got an audition she was super excited and for whatever i don't know what happened traffic happened or something she didn't make the audition. And as far as she was concerned, that was, that was the information that she should quit acting forever because she thought, well, they'll never see me again. I've ruined it. I had one chance and I ruined it.

And I'm like, let's say their name was Jeannie. I'm like, Jeannie, how many people do you think, how many actors are there in Los Angeles? How many auditions happen every day? How many, like, so you missed the audition. Big deal. Like, no, but she was done. Like, it was heartbreaking. Heartbreaking to me.

Because she was overinterpreting the information that everybody was going to pay attention. Everybody's going to remember her as the one who blew us off. Nobody notices. So, yes, the PS on that is nobody notices. Nobody cares. Right. Totally. Yeah. I mean, I could give you so many examples, but I want to ask about grumpy magic and we're running out of time. So tell us about that. But yes, spotlight syndrome speaks to me. Nobody cares as much as we think they do or is noticing. Right. And you know, I do want to

get to grumpy magic, but I also want to, I just thought of this the other day because I also hear a lot about imposter syndrome. And I want to say, you know what? I think the imposter syndrome is you behaving like you don't know what you're doing. Like you acting like you're not the authority that you are. That's the imposter. The imposter is not like, oh, people think I can do things that I can't. No, no. They think you can do things that you can.

You pretending that you can't is the imposter anyway grumpy magic is just has to do with the tyranny of positive thinking like the oppressive positivity of the world and particularly my brothers and sisters in the personal development community um that like you have to have a positive mental attitude you gotta go into it like no you don't thankoudly people succeed all the time. Pessimists get rich. Grumpy people get married like and find true love. It's you do not have to be little Susie cheerful all the fucking time. I'm living proof of all of that. Right. So go to the grumpiest. Yeah. So go to it. Grumpy. Go to it. Disbelieving. Go to it. Upset. Go to it it broken. It's fine. Your creativity will accept you right where you are. You do not have to believe your affirmations. Which is actually one of the reasons

I avoid affirmations because I don't believe them. Like I have to, I had another guest, Amy Green Smith on the podcast, and she talked about basically reframing your affirmation so that they're believable to you. And I was like, thank you. Because this whole, I'm struggling with money and being like, I'm abundant and create wealth everywhere I go. I'm like, bullshit. Anyway. Okay. This has been an absolute pleasure, Sam. Thank you so much. Listener, you need to go to therealsambennett.com to learn more about Sam and her work. You can also find her on all of the social medias at The Real Sam Bennett and definitely get her book, The 15 Minute Method. Sam, thank you for a great

conversation. My pleasure, Nicole. Thank you so much for having me and thank you so much for your great work in the world. I appreciate it. Thank you. All right, friend, I don't know about you, but I feel like the universe has been trying to send me this message a lot lately. Do less of everything except what matters most. And even what matters most is a lot fewer things than I think it is. Because at the end of the day, whenever that might be, there is no award for overworked woman of the year. There is no accounting of all the shit that you've done or accomplished. No eulogy that is going to include how great you were at all your tasks, no odes to perfection, and no demonstration of how well you responded to all of your emails,

and no mention of how clean your house was. It will all get narrowed down to those very few things that matter most at the end. So what are we waiting for? Someone else to decide what truly matters for us? A point in time where all the things all of a sudden get easy and simple as if that's ever going to just happen? No, we get to decide. And like so many things worth doing, we start small, one step at a time, 15 minutes of our day devoted to what matters most, to you. That, my friend, is woman's work.