This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - The Best of 2024: Must-Listen Episodes That Inspired Us All | 264

Starting point is 00:00:00 I am Nicole Kalil, and you're listening to the This Is Woman's Work podcast, where together we're redefining what it means, what it looks and feels like to be doing woman's work in the world today. From boardrooms to studios, kitchens to coding dens, from your street to Wall Street, we explore the multifaceted experiences of today's woman, confirming that the new definition of woman's work is whatever feels true and real and right for you. You are the decider. And if you're new here, welcome. And in lieu of a cheese plate, which is my love language, I do this annual episode where we highlight the year's biggest moments.

Starting point is 00:00:47 We share some behind the scenes insights and reveal the most listened to episodes of the year. So whether you're looking for a great podcast to start listening to, or a few standout episodes to revisit, or you just need a freaking break from the holiday chaos, you are in the right place. And let me tell you, every year, narrowing down to our top five episodes feels a lot like being forced to choose a favorite child. Impossible, unless you secretly like one better or only have one child like I do. But this year, this year we had so many A-plus episodes, it almost feels offensive to the podcasting gods to have to pick favorites.

Starting point is 00:01:26 So here's what we do instead. I share the top five most downloaded episodes, plus a few that didn't make the top five but definitely deserve the spotlight. But first, let's celebrate some big wins for This Is Woman's work from 2024, because this year was our breakout year for the podcast. While we've had steady growth in each of the five years we've been doing the show, in 2024, we blew the doors off. We had a 12,900% increase in downloads. Yes, you heard that right, and I did have to ask for help to calculate that. But any way you slice it, that's some monster growth.

Starting point is 00:02:05 We moved from the top 2% of globally downloaded podcasts into the top 1%. Doesn't sound like a big leap? Well, it is. It's the difference between being a cute side project with thousands of listeners to an established podcast with hundreds of thousands of listeners.

Starting point is 00:02:23 We even bounced around the podcast charts, hitting number two at the highest in the self-improvement category, number six in education, where Mel Robbins kept that number one spot warm pretty much all year. And we even cracked the top 200 of all podcasts on Apple, hitting as high as number 176. And yes, I have screenshots to prove that it wasn't all just a dream. Also in 2024, we made the decision to monetize the podcast, which means, of course, that you're hearing ads now and that the podcast is finally self-sustaining.

Starting point is 00:02:58 It's still a passion project, don't get me wrong, but it's no longer draining my bank account. So we're gonna call that a win. Does it pay me yet? No, but it pays for itself and growth is on the vision board for 2025. So in addition to all that good news, we've also had some changes in who's tuning in. While we still attract mostly women, as you might guess, 88% of our listeners identify as women, we have increased our international presence with 73% still tuning in from the US and our next most popular countries being Germany, Sweden,

Starting point is 00:03:33 and the UK, along with about 80 other countries. And I have to give a big shout out to the 12% of you who listen and don't identify as women. Thank you for showing up and for staying curious. And to the almost 30% who are listening internationally, I'm sending you some love with a lot of extra postage. So thank you, thank you, thank you. And of course, to our listeners who've been tuning in for the long haul, your presence, your support, and your engagement means the absolute world to me. I can't think of anything that lights me up more than that. So thank you. And of course, I have to keep it real and share that it hasn't all been smooth sailing.

Starting point is 00:04:16 The hardest part has been getting busy humans to rate or review the podcast, which is always hard. But mid-year in 24, we hit a technical snag that wiped out over 900 of our ratings. Apple acknowledged the issue but can't or won't fix it, which resulted in some serious frustrated tears and some not-so-mature ranting on my part. We've also faced the challenge of handling a massive influx of guest pitches. And while I'm honored by the volume, we can only book about 100 guests a year, meaning that we have to say no to over 90% of the pitches we get. And saying no to passionate people who are up to big things, that's the worst part of hosting a podcast. And lastly, our small and mighty team has handled so much volume, growth, changes, and

Starting point is 00:05:05 some setbacks. So a huge big thank you to Nikki, who has been editing this podcast from episode one and loves and cares for it so beautifully. And to our new team at Believe for believing in us and helping answer even the most basic of questions as we continue to learn new things. 2025 is going to be big, and the only way to stay in the loop is to be part of my community. We're talking more incredible guests, fresh topics, and even the possibility of some live recordings where you can ask the

Starting point is 00:05:37 questions. Plus, we're planning giveaways, everything from Women's Work swag to Ember mugs, free coaching sessions, and lots of workshops. Oh, and here's the biggest opportunity for those of you who really love this podcast. I'm launching a podcast board of directors. We're calling it PodBod for short. We'll come up with a better name, I promise. But anyways, this small group of listeners will help shape the future of This Is Women's Work. From suggesting topics and guests to actually sharing in the show's growth, success, and profitability. But here's the deal.

Starting point is 00:06:11 You won't hear about any of this unless you're in my community. So if you're ready to stay in the know and help shape what's next, head to NicoleKhalil.com or click the link in show notes to join us. Again, that's NicoleKhalil.com. You the link in show notes to join us. Again, that's NicoleKhalil.com. You can scroll to the bottom to join my community or download any of my free resources. Any way gets

Starting point is 00:06:31 you in. But whether it's hearing more about the podcast board of directors or all the flea upcoming giveaways, that is the place to be. So again, NicoleKhalil.com or click the link in show notes. Okay, now it's time for us to dive into the best of 2024. So here's the plan. I'll share some insider stories and behind the scenes moments from our top five most downloaded episodes, plus some personal and team favorites that didn't make the top five list, but are absolutely worth a listen. Links to all of these episodes are also going to be in show notes. And if you're in my community, they'll land in your inbox too. All right, ready? Let's go. First up is our team favorite. So this didn't make the top five, but after lots of spirited debate and maybe a little bribery from some members, the team

Starting point is 00:07:15 landed on episode 247, The Small and the Mighty with Sharon McMahon. It's a powerful conversation about resilience, impact, and how the smallest voices can create the biggest change. Plus, a lot of my team already followed Sharon on Instagram, and we were all more than a little excited to have her on the show. So again, that team favorite is episode 247, The Small and the Mighty with Sharon McMahon. And because Nikki has earned the right to her own category, having edited every single episode since day one, she's basically listened to this podcast more than any other human alive. So her favorite of the year is episode 212, How to Feel Good Naked with Sade Rael. And in addition to being our editor, Nikki has been one of my best friends

Starting point is 00:08:03 since I was seven years old. So she's got a permanent spot in my blanket for, and she always gets to pick a favorite. So again, that was episode 212, how to feel good naked. And my personal favorite recording and experience that didn't make the top five was episode 251, how to live a fulfilling life with Dr. Edith Eager. It's the only time I've ever wished that we did video podcasts because so much of the magic of that episode was in seeing 97-year-old Edie dance in her chair and her face lit up as she shared lessons about life, and it was pure joy and wisdom rolled into one incredible human. I cried multiple times during that recording, not just because of her

Starting point is 00:08:45 words, but because of the overwhelming kindness she showed me and the honor of speaking with both her and her grandson. That episode is forever etched in my mind and my heart, and it's moments like those that make me so very grateful that I get to do this for a living. And finally, the episode that got the most outreach, unsurprisingly, was my solo episode. In episode 213, I opened up about why and how I was considering Ozempic, or really any weight loss medication, and how personally challenging that decision was for me. My goal wasn't then and isn't now to share what my decision was or to advocate for or against it. Instead, I wanted to pull back the curtain on the messy process of grappling with big, deeply personal decisions that lots of people have a lot of judgment about. I talked about my frustrations

Starting point is 00:09:40 with myself for still caring so much about my weight and body image and how exhausting it is to feel like you're doing all the, and I put in air quotes, right things and still not seeing the results that you want. The response was overwhelming. So many of you shared similar struggles, whether you'd made the decision to take Ozempic, decided against it, or were just navigating your own body image battles. I also got some unsolicited advice despite clearly saying that I wasn't open to it. And yes, a few not so kind comments that made me think less of the people who sent them, but thankfully not less of myself. So that episode was a reminder of just how universal and complicated this topic is. It also proved how powerful it can be to share vulnerably, even when it's

Starting point is 00:10:25 uncomfortable. If you missed it, this could be one that you'd want to queue up. Okay, so those were some internal favorites, but there are so many incredible guests and episodes that I wish I could tell you about. But for now, let's dive into the top five most downloaded episodes of 2024. Coming in at number five was Likeable Badass with Alison Fergale, episode 230, if you're looking for it. You've probably seen Alison everywhere this year. Her book hit too many bestseller lists to count. She's been on many incredible podcasts like Work Life with Adam Grant. She was featured in Success Magazine's Best Business Books and was on CNBC and USA Today. And I've personally gifted likable badass to so many people, not just women. And I even made it our retreat book club pick. So here's the backstory. It is

Starting point is 00:11:16 no secret that landing Adam Grant as a guest on this podcast is a bucket list item of mine. I ask every single year. And while he's a class act who always responds, it's always a no. But he doesn't leave me hanging. He sends recommendations. And the first name on his last list? Allison Fergale, with three exclamation marks. And that's all I needed. And by the way, pro tip, booking a guest is way easier when you can lead with Adam Grant recommended you in the subject line of your email. So while Adam's no hasn't turned into a yes yet, it's the best no I get because it leads to incredible yeses like Allison's. Our conversation was insightful, inspiring, and a total masterclass in being both bold and relatable. I only wish I could have

Starting point is 00:12:03 learned this lesson from Allison like 20 years ago. So if you're not already following her or looking for your next great read, start with Likeable Badass. And here's some wisdom from her episode about increasing your likability and your badassery. And again, the link is in show notes if you want to go back and listen to the whole episode.

Starting point is 00:12:24 I have created a rule for myself long ago. In the same kind of work, you probably get this a lot. A lot of people reach out to me. I'm a professor. I'm a women's advocate. They have a question. They think I know a lot more than I do, that I'm just the expert in all things.

Starting point is 00:12:38 And although that's good for my brand, I don't know everything. I made a decision for myself years ago that anytime I get a question on social media or an email, Allison, do you know, can you recommend a speaker? Do you know a book? What's the research on this or that? One thing I know is that even if I don't know the answer,

Starting point is 00:12:55 I'm experienced enough in this that I can find the answer quicker than the person who's asking me. And so I'm never gonna say, I don't know. I just go find out and I answer the person's question. And it normally takes me less than 10 minutes to search online and figure it out. That's a rule I've created for myself. So thinking about ways to add value to other people, that's caring in ways that don't take a lot of your time. That's one. Two, when I'm on social media, I'm only there to be

Starting point is 00:13:21 positive and say nice things and lift up other people. I don't just like posts. I like people. So someone posts something relatively boring, like their company is hiring. I don't really need to hurt it, but I like them. So I support them. That's something that I do. I always have a rule that if I think something positive in my head about another person, I will not let that thought die there.

Starting point is 00:13:42 I will compliment that person in some way, shape, or form, either to their face or to somebody else. These are little rules that I've developed to myself that make me feel good about who I am as a human being, allow me to lift up other people, and don't take up time out of my day. They're just little policies I have that I can throw out there. So that's what I would encourage everybody is take the dimension where you're weaker and think about something I could do. Those are some warmth examples. If you need to work on the other dimension, like being more assertive, I would say advice giving is good. Think about something that you're an expert in. Find somebody that needs some help. You always show up as capable in that way. When you go into a meeting,

Starting point is 00:14:25 making a rule to try to talk in the first couple of minutes, because being a spectator is a learned behavior, say something. Then all of a sudden your voice is out there and then you're a person that people look to as speaking. Something that you can have as a little rule. And I always say, just do one thing. And then when that thing becomes a habit

Starting point is 00:14:43 and you don't have to think of it anymore, then you can add on another thing. You don't need to do all the things. You just find one thing. And then when that thing becomes a habit and you don't have to think about it anymore, then you can add on another thing. You don't need to do all the things. You just find one thing and you roll with it. I think we can all agree that Alison Fergal is in fact a likable badass. All right, in the fourth most listened to spot is episode 211, Holler at Your Dreams with Judy Holler.

Starting point is 00:15:06 Probably because it was hands down the funnest episode of the year. The best way I can describe Judy Holler is that she's a fire starter, an energy shifter, and the ultimate hype woman. And she showed up and proved it during our episode. Now, I am many things, but no one's ever called me a hype woman or an energy shifter. Let's be honest, that would require me to leave my house and to socialize with other people. So probably not going to happen anytime soon. But my job in this case was to set Judy up, let her shine, and try to keep up. And friend, she did what she does.

Starting point is 00:15:38 She shifted the energy, my energy. And by the end, I was hyped and motivated and having so much fun, I forgot that we were recording. I've also officially added energy shifter to the list of friends that I think we all need in our lives. I'm what you would call the hide the body friend if you're ever looking for one of those. To be clear, I've never actually hidden a body. I'm just the friend that you can call when shit hits the fan and I'll have your back. But anyway, if you're in the market for an energy shifter, if you're looking for a speaker who can electrify an entire stadium, or if you want to kickstart your 2025 goals, this episode is going to be your jam. Here's a snippet of Judy

Starting point is 00:16:17 encouraging us all to holler at our dreams. Excuses are a way, fear hides. Fear hides in excuses to keep us stuck safe and just the same because if you change and you do the thing despite any age, because I have people that come up to me at 25, 30, 32, and they think, oh my God, I could never, I'm too young. I mean, I think it can, there's so much societal pressure, right? Listen, I would rather have the temporary pain of discomfort than the avoidable pain of regret. And the clock is ticking. And there are too many of us, I have seen it time and time again, that we're waiting for someday.

Starting point is 00:16:58 Someday when I retire, someday when my kids leave the house, someday when I lose the weight, someday when I'm married, someday when I write a book, someday when I have the right pitch, someday when I have a certain amount of followers, then I'll do the thing and then I'll be qualified and then I'll do the thing. Someday is not coming, right? The only thing that's guaranteed is that currency and time. It's the one thing that you can never, you can always make more money, but you can't make more

Starting point is 00:17:23 time. That's the only thing that's guaranteed is that your time's just going to keep moving and it's going to move on with or without you. I have a really dear friend who lost her mom to Alzheimer's last year. And they, she was an only child and her mom and dad, her dad was a CEO for a big company. And you know, her mom was like the spitting image, like country club, like worked out beautiful. And they went on some trips and they did some things, but worked, worked, worked, worked, worked. Because when they retired someday, they were going to go to Greece and they were going to go to Italy and they were going to finally see the Amalfi Coast and they are doing none of it. They did none of it because they were waiting for some day. Fuck that noise. I'll say it again in case you missed it. Fuck that noise.

Starting point is 00:18:19 Today is the day, my friend. No more waiting to be ready, right? Okay, we move on to the episode in our number three spot, which is Abundance, Secrets to Prosperity and Ease with Kathy Heller, which is a little surprising because it's so new. We released episode 260 just about two weeks ago, and it shot up the charts like the universe wanted to prove Kathy's point about abundance. And while this episode obviously resonated with a lot of listeners, it also came at the perfect time for me and reminded me that the universe has a sense of humor and often gives you what you want, but not always exactly in the way you asked for it. So the backstory here is a week before recording, I saw Mel Robbins at a restaurant in Boston. I debated running over to

Starting point is 00:19:06 her and screeching about how much I love her work, but I decided to play it cool, which is a very nice way of saying that Jay convinced me not to make a fool out of myself, which he has to do more often than I care to admit. So long story short, I covered her dinner and sent her a note of gratitude instead. And then I emailed her team to invite her to be on this podcast. The response? I got not one, but two emails from Mel Robbins' team saying she wasn't available to be a guest, which by the way, I am not even at all upset about. Sure, it wasn't the answer I was hoping for, but I completely understand that she's busy and overbooked and saying no is the worst part of this job. We say no to like 90% of the people

Starting point is 00:19:45 who reach out to be a guest on this show and it sucks every single time. But that's the deal. And you can say no and be kind, which her team did. And the response didn't change anything about the fact that I'm proud of taking the risk and putting myself out there regardless of the result. And here's where it gets funny. A couple hours after receiving those emails, I was prepping for Kathy's episode and realized that her podcast is ranked nearly as high as Mel Robbins's. It felt like the universe saying, you asked for a big yes, so here you go. And Kathy delivered. Her insights on prosperity and ease were so timely for me and clearly for many of you. So without further delay, here's our third most downloaded episode, Abundance, Secrets to Prosperity and

Starting point is 00:20:31 Ease with the Kathy Heller. I lived in King David's old city and studied there in these 3,000-year-old stone streets. And it was just quite unbelievably awesome. And my rabbi at the time, who's still my rabbi, rabbi David Aaron who lives there with his seven children and his beautiful wife, Hannah, he was such the embodiment of love. He had no agenda. He didn't care if I was religious, not religious, like we're a tank top, we're a skirt, nobody cared. It was like, and he was so brilliant. And he taught me the law of reception. And he said to me,

Starting point is 00:21:03 have you heard of the law of attraction? Cause it was just starting to be like really in vogue and people were watching The Secret or it was right around that time, more or less. And I said, yeah, everyone's talking about it. And he said, well, I want to tell you so that when you're a part of that conversation, you understand the Jewish idea of that because you might find it fascinating. I said, yeah, what is it? So he said, in Jewish mysticism, Jewish tradition, we would say it's more the law of reception. And what that means, he said, is that the word Kabbalah, and just a lot of people, including myself, know very little about a lot of things. So people think Kabbalah is like its own religion. Kabbalah is like one of the just main texts, like inside of, you know,

Starting point is 00:21:42 mainstream Judaism. It's the law. It's like, it's just like in Christianity, there's some like mystical sides of it. It's like, this is the mystical side of this tradition and it's thousands of years old. Okay. Right. So that word Kabbalah actually means to receive. Okay. So he says, so that's how we know it's about the law of reception. And then he gave me the best metaphor. And I wrote, wrote this in my book. If you take a radio and you put the radio on the desk and you turn the radio on, well, all of a sudden you're going to hear something. You're going to hear music. So he said to me, where was that music before you turned on the radio? I had never thought of that question. And I said, I don't know. And he said that the answer is hidden in plain sight. It's already in the room, but you need to receive it.

Starting point is 00:22:30 So I'm saying that slowly because I really want everyone to get it. What that means is everything is in escrow. Everything. If God is infinite, if Einstein is correct that everything's made of frequency, then it is a radio and all radio stations exist. All frequencies are here. All frequency that we could possibly pick up with our antenna called our

Starting point is 00:22:54 humanity, our heart, our soul, right? But our radio is usually tuned to static. And then when we tune our radio different ways, which sometimes we do, we don't know we're doing it. And then often we blame whatever our life looks like on the music that's playing. Why is this the song? Why is this my relationship? Why is this my, this, name it, name it, name it. Why is this the way I'm getting paid? Why, why, why? As opposed to understanding we have the capacity to change that radio station. What does that mean? Well, if we are coming in our,

Starting point is 00:23:27 if we're coming into the world and our energetic imprint, Malcolm Gladwell said in Blink that when you walk into a space within four seconds, people can feel your energy within four seconds. That is a real fact. So your energetic imprint is that radio receiver. And if you are looking all the time for the evidence of lack and why you're disappointed, when you walk into a space, the radio that you're playing is a radio station of that sort of staticky, painful song. It's not a love song, let's just say. But when you meditate or put your feet in the sand and look at the ocean and hug your kids and you have an intimate moment with somebody in hospice and you love each other, whatever those moments are, right? turns to peace. And when you walk in the world, people enjoy your energy. And the best compliment is never as fun as it is, I think for girls, I love being told that I look pretty. I really do.

Starting point is 00:24:32 But the best compliment is somebody saying, you have really good energy. And when that happens, you know, you're on the right radio station because the world is made of the way we, even with my cat, my cat who doesn't speak words or know where you went to college and is not impressed by what you drive, will either come toward you or not because of your energy. So everything that we live amongst, animals, plants, plants people we're either drawing things towards us or away from us from the radio station so that's the law of reception and the reason I like saying the law of reception and I teach it in the book and I teach it in my workshops is because the law of attraction by definition makes you think that you're attracting something that's over there to you.

Starting point is 00:25:28 Law of reception means it's right here now. You just have to turn on the radio to hear it. And that, to me, makes more sense. That was one powerful message that I know I needed to hear. And we probably could end on that note, but we're not done yet. The second most listened to episode is number 229, Dynamic Drive with Molly Fletcher. And the behind the scenes story here is that this episode started with complete chaos. It was just about 30 minutes of audio issues where we literally couldn't hear each other, which is pretty important for a podcast. And tech failures had us both banging

Starting point is 00:26:03 on mics, blowing on wires, and restarting everything like total rookies. Even with all of our fancy equipment, we could not get our audio to work. I'm sitting there emailing her team. She's calling me. And I honestly don't know what happened, but at some point it just started working. And I've seen Molly speak in an event before, so I knew we were in for an A-plus episode, but it takes a real pro to not come into a conversation all flustered and frustrated after dealing with the major tech issues like we did. And we were also running tight on time at this point, so I don't know how she did it, but she showed up big time and delivered a TED Talk-worthy discussion about how to create

Starting point is 00:26:42 sustainable drive that went well beyond the typical grit, grind, don't quit, tough it out messaging we often hear. She redefined drive so it's about sustainable energy, meaningful goals, and a life that doesn't feel like endless hustle. So if you're rethinking your approach to ambition in the new year, this is a must listen. It is a process. And I don't know that it's a perfect circle, but at some level, what it is, is there's seven keys that I identify in the book that everybody finds themselves at different points in their own lives. And who am I to say you need more energy or you need to shift your mindset or the gap is resilience or discipline, everybody enters in with different gaps. And the truth is, we all find ourselves in moments where

Starting point is 00:27:30 maybe we're crushing it in one area of our lives, but struggling in another. What I saw are these seven key behaviors that the best of the best have. And here's what I think is really important, particularly as I think about your audience, Nicole, and your listeners, not in lieu of compromising what matters most. In other words, I'm a wife. I have three daughters. I love the work that I do. And I want to pursue better in all areas of those in alignment with my core values and alignment with my purpose and not in service of finding myself at a point at 90 years old or at the end of my life where maybe I've achieved a lot of things, but at some level, I can't answer the question, what am I chasing and what was at risk?

Starting point is 00:28:24 What was compromised because of that chase? And was that an intentional decision? I think what breaks my heart is when you ask people who are really busy, who are grinding it, who are getting after it, who are doing all these things, and you say, what are you chasing? What's it all for? And they don't know the answer. And that to me is a recipe for a lack of fulfillment, a lack of joy, regret, all of

Starting point is 00:28:54 those things. And to answer part of your question, I saw that, Nicole, and that was in part why I wrote this book. I want people to achieve their wildest dreams, to live with joy and fulfillment, and to be the best version of themselves, but not at risk of a lack of intentionality and at risk of a misalignment to the things in their lives that matter most. Because I think accidentally, sometimes we pursue and achieve without the intentionality of what we lose along the way. And that makes me really sad. I don't want people to find themselves in that place. Because we can't get so many of those things back. I can't raise my daughters again. I can't fix a dysfunctional relationship, etc. Okay, friend, I don't fix a dysfunctional relationship, et cetera.

Starting point is 00:29:47 Okay, friend, I don't know about you, but this little mashup from these different amazing episodes are filled with the words that I need to hear right now and will take me into the new year with so much more energy. So let me bring it home by revealing our number one episode because it falls right into this category too. The resilience myth with Soraya Shamali coming in at the number one episode because it falls right into this category too. The resilience myth with Soraya Shamali coming in at the number one spot.

Starting point is 00:30:09 This conversation was the kind that stretched my brain in all of the best ways. Soraya challenged everything we think we know about resilience and you can practically hear the wheels turning in my head as I work to keep up with the conversation. It's exactly the kind of episode that I love, the kind where I feel like I'm out of my depth. I question whether or not I

Starting point is 00:30:30 even hosted the episode very well and worry if I sounded like an idiot the whole time. I even emailed my team after this recording to let them know that it wasn't my smoothest hosting moment. But Soraya's brilliance more than made up for it. Her insights didn't just land, they lingered. Even though I felt a little wobbly during our recording, I know in my core being that I was hearing something that I needed to hear. I was learning something that my soul was craving. The magic of hosting this podcast is conversations like these, where we all get stretched. So if you haven't listened yet, make this your next episode. And if you have, listen a few more times like I have. Okay, so here's a few minutes of the mind-blasting episode where Soraya shares a surprising truth about resilience.

Starting point is 00:31:20 The overwhelming majority of us are resilient. We're here. We're here, and we experience adversity and hardship, and we come out on the other end and eventually find purpose and meaning and happiness, actually. And so it's important to note that resilience, unlike our myths, is not exceptional. Our media particularly loves depicting resilience as the outcome of an exceptional person doing exceptional things. But in fact, it's unexceptional, which is why in the book, I say what we should be focusing on is what as a society are we doing that actually hurts people's natural ability to be resilient? What is it about the way our society is organized that is causing so much harm in defiance of the fact that we are innately

Starting point is 00:32:13 built to be resilient, right? So that's thing number one. The second thing too is, I think a lot about time and I write a lot about time because we live in an accelerated technological and social environment and speed is valued in modernity and we're supposed to bounce back as fast as possible and we are not very patient with ourselves or with other people. And resilience doesn't care. Adaptation does not care. Our long-term adaptation does not care about clock time, does not care about work time. It's going to take the time it takes. You cannot force it to happen. And so self-compassion and patience and patience for other people, I think is really essential. And the other thing, the third thing is being resilient over time

Starting point is 00:33:05 isn't linear. It comes in fits and starts. You might take two steps forward, one step back. You know, you might experience things cyclically. You might grieve for years and it's terrible and sad, but then you're okay. There's really no one size fits all model for this and which is why i go back in the end again to thinking about the fact that the opposite of resilience isn't as we learn weakness or fragility it is loneliness that's a completely different way of thinking about it. If you think I can experience a lot of horrible things if I am loved, if I have my friends, if I have my community, if I't be unhoused, that I won't be imprisoned because of my mental illness, that I will have medical care. I mean, there are societies that provide those things, but ours is not one of them. And I would argue that our resilience mythology contributes to that problem.

Starting point is 00:34:22 The individualism and the distortion of the idea that government shouldn't interfere. Because ultimately what government isn't supposed to interfere with is a man's sense of his own castle. And there you have it, friend, our top five episodes of 2024. Five years, 264 episodes, and I truly believe that we're just getting better. If you've got suggestions for 2025 or want to join our podcast board of directors, head to my community. Again, the link is in show notes. Together, we'll keep redefining what it means to be doing woman's work. And I can't thank you enough for being here, for listening, sharing, supporting, and reviewing, and making this journey possible. If I can ask one small favor, please scroll down

Starting point is 00:35:11 on Apple Podcasts or up to the top on Spotify and hit those stars. It takes you just three seconds, but it makes a huge difference for all of us. It's how new listeners find us. It's how we get ranked. And it's how we attract the best guests. This isn't some small inconsequential thing. It's a meaningful way for you to support this show, me, and redefining woman's work. So as we celebrate the holidays, hopefully spending time with the ones that you love most, practicing gratitude and maybe even a whole lot of patience with family or friends that feel like family, it's a natural time for us to reflect. As we close out one year

Starting point is 00:35:53 and step into the hopes and possibilities of a new one, I'm asking myself, and maybe you are too, what is it that I really want? What is the experience I'm looking for? What truly matters? What do I want more of or less of? Who or what do I need to tell to fuck off? Or maybe that's just my approach.

Starting point is 00:36:14 What do I have to give? And how can I take better care of myself, the people I love, and the world around me? There are so many questions to ponder, but for all of them, one truth remains. You are the decider. So decide well and please continue to join us as we redefine what it means, what it looks and feels like to be doing woman's work in the world today.

Starting point is 00:36:38 Together, we're shedding expectations, we're setting aside the shoulds and giving our finger to the supposed tos. We are torching the old playbook and writing our own damn rules. Who runs the world? You decide. Because that is woman's work.

This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - The Best of 2024: Must-Listen Episodes That Inspired Us All | 264

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