This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - The Broken Rung: When The Career Ladder Breaks For Women with Kweilin Ellingrud | 291
Episode Date: March 17, 2025Women excel in school—higher GPAs, more degrees, more advanced education—yet the moment they enter the workforce, the advantage disappears. And when it comes time for promotions, the numbers tell ...a stark truth: for every 100 men promoted to manager, only 81 women make the jump. This gap compounds over time, keeping women from reaching senior leadership long before they ever get a shot at the top. This is what our guest today, Kweilin Ellingrud, calls The Broken Rung—the single biggest obstacle preventing women from advancing in their careers. As a McKinsey senior partner, researcher, and co-author of The Broken Rung: When the Career Ladder Breaks for Women—and How They Can Succeed in Spite of It, Kweilin has spent years studying this issue and developing actionable strategies to help women navigate and overcome these barriers—regardless of whether their companies are ready to fix the system. No one’s saying you have to climb the corporate ladder. If you want to build your own, take a completely different route, or burn the whole damn thing down—I support you. But if you do want to climb, the bare minimum should be that your ladder is as solid, as high-reaching, and as accessible as anyone else’s. So climb. We’ll be holding the ladder for you. Connect with Kweilin Ellingrud: Book: https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/mckinsey-on-books/the-broken-rung Women in the Workplace 2024 Report: https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/women-in-the-workplace Implicit Association Test: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatouchtestv2.html Related Podcast Episodes: QUALIFIED: How Competency Checking and Race Collide at Work with Shari Dunn | 284 Belonging (At Work) with Dr. Beth Kaplan | 286 Holding It Together: Women As America's Safety Net with Jessica Calarco | 215 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I am Nicole Kalil and you're listening to the This Is Woman's Work podcast.
We're together.
We're redefining what it means, what it looks and what it feels like to be doing woman's
work in the world today with you as the decider.
From boardrooms to studios, kitchens to coding dens, your street to Wall Street, we explore
the multifaceted experiences of today's woman, confirming that the new definition of woman's
work is whatever feels true and real and right for you.
And as your host, I know that not every woman needs or wants to break through the glass ceiling,
but I for damn sure would like to see a lot more of us kick the shit out of that invisible,
unspoken barrier.
Which begs the question, what is really preventing us from doing that?
You cannot convince me that it's lack of talent or qualification.
Seriously, that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.
And I don't believe it's lack of desire
or leadership ability.
I am sure that access, bias, societal expectation,
internal guilt, or lack of confidence
may all play their part, but what is really happening?
And where is it happening?
Because we need to know what the problems are
and where they're happening to even begin to solve them.
And what if the real problem starts way earlier than we thought, before we even get close to any ceiling, glass or otherwise?
What if women are getting knocked off the ladder as they begin to climb?
Here's the deal. Women outperform men in school, hire GPAs, more degrees, more master's degrees.
So this is not an intelligence or academic issue.
But the moment we step into the workforce,
that advantage seems to disappear.
And when promotions to manager opportunities
start rolling around, for every 100 men promoted,
only 81 women make that jump.
And that gap, it compounds over time
keeping women behind long before we ever even get a shot at the big leagues. It is
what our guests today call the broken rung, the single biggest obstacle holding
women back from senior leadership. And after more than a decade of research,
countless interviews with top leaders, and their own experiences breaking
barriers, McKinsey Senior Partners, Quailin Ellenrude, Lorena Yee, and Maria Martinez have
written a book that not only exposes the problems but give women actual strategies to get ahead,
whether or not their companies decide to get their act together. Their book, The Broken Rung,
When the Career Letter Breaks for Women
and How They Can Succeed in Spite of It,
is a blueprint for navigating the realities
of corporate life, building experience capital
and accelerating career growth,
no matter what barriers are in the way.
And today, we have one of the authors joining us.
Quailin Ellenrude, and we're going to dive deep into why the system is broken,
what women can do about it,
and how to make sure that you don't get stuck at the bottom.
Okay, Quailin, thank you for being here.
And it's important that I ask this
before I ask a bunch of other questions.
And that is, what is the broken rung
and how does it compare or how is it different than what we hear about a lot?
Which is the glass ceiling?
Absolutely, the broken rung is that first promotion to manager that women are getting tripped up by so keep in mind that most employees
In fortune 500 companies in the United States are at that entry level
70% of employees are at the entry level.
And so everybody's really encountering this broken rung.
And as you described for every hundred men, it's only 81 women that are being
promoted. And when you look at women of color, it's 65 Latina women and 54 black
women. So it's even harder for women of color.
And it's that promotion gap that we see that then makes the pipeline so uneven early on
that the rest of the talent pipeline, yes, it gets worse with each step, right?
Two, three percentage points with each successive promotion.
But it's really that first promotion, that broken rung at the very beginning of the career
ladder that affects everybody and frankly holds them back across a career, right?
We see the lingering effects of that five, 10, 20 years
down the road.
OK.
Thank you for clarifying.
And then it begs the question, why?
You're doing research on this.
So why is this happening at that first promotion level?
What's getting in the way?
Yeah.
So the broken rung is the problem.
I think the solution is what we call experience capital.
And experience capital is the knowledge,
the wisdom that you build on the job across a career.
And when we did research across kind of four countries
around the world, about half of your lifetime earnings
is due to the education and the characteristics you bring to the job, right? Where you described women are excelling and have been
for decades. The other half of your lifetime income is from the experience capital, the wisdom,
the knowledge that you build on the job. And that's where women are not building as much
experience capital and they're certainly not getting kind of the credit for it given the pay gap.
What we find in experience capital
is that it differs by country.
So in the US, it's a little bit more
from what you build on the job,
what you kind of bring in education,
a little bit less from experience.
In India, it's more what you build an experience over time.
In some occupations where you've got a lot of education,
let's say you're a doctor and you've had 12 years
of education going into it,
more of your lifetime earnings are from that education
and less from the experience capital.
But on the other side of the education spectrum,
if you are a waiter or a waitress or a plumber,
more of your lifetime earnings is gonna come
from that experience capital that you build over time.
So that's really the solution.
And each chapter in the book talks about
how do you keep that learning curve steep across a career?
How do you build the experience capital
and get credit for it across a lifetime?
And are you seeing that there is actually a gap
in women's experience capital
compared to their male counterparts?
And if so, in theory, if they're working the same jobs, for example, in that first promotion
in your first five years, what experience capital are women missing?
So there is a gap in experience capital that women are getting versus men.
If you take a 10-year period where men are gaining 10 years of
experience on the job, women are on average are getting about 8.6 years
because we have more career breaks and we have longer career breaks when we
have them. Now a lot of that could be around child kind of rearing years. It
could be taking care of your own health, taking care of health or parents or in
laws, but we do have more breaks and longer breaks. We also around the world It could be taking care of your own health, taking care of health or parents or in-laws,
but we do have more breaks and longer breaks.
We also around the world have the majority of part-time jobs and the minority of full-time
jobs.
So there's a lot that's going into kind of building this experience capital.
But when you think about what's going on at the broken rung, that first stage, all of
these things haven't yet had time to kick in. So that might be differences in flexibility desire that could be bias, both unconscious
and conscious bias, a whole range of things that are kind of happening at those early
stages and then experience capital needs to be built across the career.
Okay.
And then what can we do or what should we be paying attention to,
to make sure that we're getting recognized for credit
for the experience capital we actually have.
Sounds like a two-part problem.
Yeah, absolutely.
I think number one is how do you build
the best experience capital and kind of keep
that learning curve steep at different stages of a career.
And I'll talk a bit about early stages, right? Picking the right company, picking the right
occupation. I'll talk about maybe medium stages of a career where you're sort of building skills,
networking skills, technological skills, soft skills, and then kind of longer term things.
As you think about retirement and financial security, as you think about your own kind of
long term health, what are the things that you need to keep in mind?
So that's the part around building experience capital.
And to your point, the other part of it is making sure that that's recognized.
And that's around making sure that you're both signaling that, making sure that you're
building a network.
So we know that women's networks tend to be more narrow and more junior than men.
Women are more likely to have an all-female network, which given the
seniority of women typically means that you have a more junior network. And
interestingly we did some research in women in the workplace a number of years
ago and asked to, you know, Vice President, a male and a female who were just
promoted, did four or more people help you get here?
In other words, have you activated your network
and is it working for you to get this promotion?
And about 20 percentage point more of the men said yes.
And there's this interesting research
around women are more reticent and uncomfortable
mixing networking and professional elements with friendship.
And when we do so, we're more likely to wonder, hmm,
is that a real friend or is this just convenient
from a work perspective?
In contrast, men are much more comfortable doing the same.
So if a man knows that person,
they've been golfing together, they've had a beer together,
I know that's a good guy,
the deal is more likely to work out
because I already know him.
And I think when we are reticent to kind of mix networking with friendship,
we're doing ourselves a disservice in getting that experience capital recognized so that we can
network, find the opportunities, get that kind of next big leap jump. We in the book call them big
moves, right? They're kind of job moves that really stretch you. But to get those opportunities, you need a network. You need people who know you, who are willing to make
that bet on you.
So I'm kind of going to think out loud, so forgive me if I'm a little all over the place.
On one hand, this makes perfect sense. On the other hand, it kind of pisses me off,
especially right now as we record this. It's mid February.
There is a lot of things going on in the diversity, equity, and inclusion space.
What I'm hearing you saying is having a strong network is going to be really important to
getting promotions.
I agree with that and it makes sense.
We're hearing everywhere right now that are people not qualified, are
standards being lowered, or blah, blah, blah. And I feel like screaming, oh my God, it's
because you golf with these people or have beer with these people. That's why you're
getting the promotion or getting the opportunity. It's not because of your qualifications or your talent or your skill.
All of these programs are just designed to give people with the talent and the skill
the opportunity to get an opportunity without having to fucking hang out on the golf course
all day.
Sorry.
Is it a double-edged sword or am I just overreacting? I mean, yes, it's important and it feels sort of contrary to what we're hearing today.
Thoughts?
And please challenge me.
I think diversity and meritocracy go really well together.
And I think they're both at their best when they're together.
So it's not we want a meritocracy and that's going to hurt diversity.
In fact, I think a meritocracy will help diversity.
When we do research about why does diversity matter,
why does it matter on teams, some of the research
from Harvard Business Review is that diverse teams actually
solve tough problems better.
Because everybody brings a different set of assumptions,
a different background, a different way of working
to the problem, and we challenge each other.
So we can solve a tough problem that other teams
have not been able to solve before in a better way.
That's the first reason it matters.
The second reason is actually dear to my heart,
because I do a lot of operational transformations
and continuous improvement.
And it's that diverse teams are more open to the idea
that they didn't get the best solution the first time around.
This notion of openness to continuous improvement.
How do we get 1% better every day, every week?
And that just compounds over time.
And so I think that is the value of diverse teams
that we see kind of in practice.
And that's what we want, right?
When diversity and meritocracy come together,
that's when they're both at their strongest.
Agreed.
And I will just say from, this is anecdotal,
personal experience, I have yet to interact with a woman,
especially a woman of color,
in any sort of high ranking position
or where they're one of the few in their role
or one of the only in a room
who hasn't not only done what it takes to get there,
but it's typically gone way above and beyond.
So the meritocracy thing I understand,
and it just feels for me almost implied
when I interact with anybody diverse.
It's like, gosh, they almost had a harder climb
to get there.
If you've made it through both processes and environments
that are not made for you,
and if you've made it through that, right,
Gauntlet, over time, you're probably pretty exceptional
because you can adapt, you are resilient,
you are persistent, and you've made it through.
So I love the value of diversity
and what it takes to kind of get through that process. And I think those things should absolutely
go together. Okay. And then for those who are beyond the established, like they might be heading
towards retirement and have experienced the broken rung, or maybe you've taken some time out of the
business or what have you, what advice do you have for them?
Absolutely.
I think as you head towards retirement, a few things to keep in mind, there is a financial
knowledge gap and women are less comfortable with some of their finances, less involved
in their financial decisions.
Interestingly, when you take away the option to say, I don't know is an answer,
the knowledge gap actually kind of disappears. So we actually do know more than we give ourselves
credit for, but we're not sure about it. And actually, it's not making a decision is in
fact a decision in the financial world. And so when we are not as involved, we're not
making sure that our money works for us. And if you think about kind of nearing retirement, one of the kind of misconceptions is, well, women live longer than men. Wonderful. So
we must be healthier. But in fact, we're not. We do live longer on average, but we actually live
25% more years in poor health. We also spend more money on health care. And you add all of that up,
more money on health care, more years in of that up, more money on healthcare,
more years in poor health, and lower average retirement savings because we've got the
majority of part-time jobs and the minority of full-time jobs, and less active financial
knowledge and decision-making. And that is not a retirement equation that looks good, right? That
is what gets us to higher poverty rates for women
in those retirement years.
And so just being more active and more aware,
both on the financial side and on the physical health side,
physical health, mental health side,
is so critical to make sure that those retirement years
are smooth ones and kind of fully planned for.
Yeah, it's interesting.
So my background is in financial services and I've done a ton of consulting in the
finance space and everything you're saying is absolutely accurate.
And I will tell you too how often when I'm working with financial advisors, how often
they say that the most common objection or I'm going to put in air quotes
excuse that people give when they review their financial plan about taking action on anything
that puts them in a better position or gets them closer to what it is that they say that
they want is the I want to think about it or I'm unsure.
So I'm so glad Quillen that you said that.
It's like inaction is an action.
It's a choice.
And doing nothing is gonna cost you so much more
than doing something, even the smallest something.
So I do think that there is a lot of opportunity for us
as women to acknowledge what we do know.
We don't need to be financial experts, by the way.
And we probably know way more than
we're giving ourselves credit for.
And then also to get into action, even the smallest action towards what matters, especially
as it relates to our finances.
So being involved, making some decisions, setting aside some money, whatever it is we
need to do.
Okay.
Three stages of building that you talked about.
So what advice do you have for young women who are in their entry level jobs, maybe in
those first five years where they're heading towards that potential first broken rung,
what should they be thinking about?
Yeah.
Early on, we look at the research and each chapter actually combines research and insights
that McKinsey has invested in over the last decade or so with success stories of women
who have pivoted around these career critical moments.
Early on in those first five years of a career, it's so important to pick the right company
and pick a company that is, number one,
going to invest in your continuing learning.
So do they have a percentage of time that they set aside?
Do they have an expectation?
Do they have ongoing learning that's supported
and feedback, et cetera?
Second, they believe in cross-functional rotation.
So it's not that you join in finance
and 30 years later,
you're still in finance, but you might
rotate across to different groups,
to different functions.
That is important for learning as well.
And the third factor of a great company
is one that has a very clear strategy,
and that is winning relative to competitors.
And you can see that typically in the stock price
and relative performance.
But those are the three outside in factors that we look at in choosing the right company. And when
you do that, your odds of actually increasing an income quintile are 50% higher. That's
actually the number one thing you can do to increase your lifetime earnings is picking
the right company. And I would say even more than the individual job that you're looking at, the company is going to matter.
Because the job and even your boss, right?
Your boss might be your boss for two years.
You might move.
They might move.
Somebody might get fired potentially.
But typically, a boss is a two-year experience.
And a company could be five, 10, 15 years, even longer.
And so choosing that right company that's going to invest is critical.
A few other things that really matter in those first five years, making what we call a bold
move.
And a bold move is kind of an uncomfortable leap in your career that makes you a little
uncomfortable in terms of the stretch skills that it requires,
but really helps you grow and get into the right kind of trajectory.
And we measure the percentage of skills that are usually needed in a new job.
That's about 25% new skills required in the next job that weren't present in the last
job.
Anything more than 25% is what we call the bold move.
And well calculated bold moves early in your career,
because then you have the rest of your career
to kind of reap the benefits,
are a big differentiator for those that over time
earn more than the average.
And then two other considerations early on.
One is around the power alley.
And the power alley, a power alley type of job
is where your company generates revenue, generates profit. So in consulting, it's in the
consulting role. In a tech company, it would be in a product management role. In
a newspaper, it would be in ad sales, for example. How do you understand how your
business, how your industry operates, and how it makes money. Just under a third of women
start in power alley roles, just over a third of men do the same. And when you start in those kinds
of roles, your lifetime income is about 20% higher. And it's not that you need to stay there
across your entire career, but learning how the business works and then potentially rotating to
other roles over time is so critical for your perspective and how it grows.
And then maybe finally, there are so many trends underway, right, between aging and
consumption shifts and then now generative AI over the last couple of years.
When you take all of those trends together, they are impacting our jobs.
I think the good news is that there will be more jobs in the next five years.
They will be higher skill jobs, but they'll also require higher education in many cases.
What are the jobs that are growing and what are the jobs that are shrinking?
How, with a lens to where occupations are growing, do you pick the right job, then the
right company?
Because it's so much easier to make choices with the wind at your back as
opposed to the wind in your face. And so the jobs that are growing over the next
five to ten years are jobs in healthcare, no surprise, giving our aging demographics,
and jobs in STEM, and jobs in transportation. And transportation includes everything from
last mile delivery to Uber drivers and beyond Lyft, but that transportation category as well as health care
and STEM. The jobs that are shrinking are falling into customer service and sales, so maybe contact
centers, food service, so waiters and waitresses, office assistance, administrative assistance,
and then production or manufacturing. And three of those four occupations that make up 85% of the job losses
that we're gonna have over the next time
between now and 2030,
three of those occupations are female dominated, right?
Customer service and sales, food service,
and office and administrative assistance.
One of those job categories,
manufacturing or production, is male dominated.
But when you put all of that together, that's why women are 50% more likely to need to change occupations
between now and 2030 versus men. It's highly skewed in terms of where are the jobs disappearing.
Luckily, there are more women also in healthcare. It's more highly concentrated in terms of
female jobs, but that transition
is an important one to make from shrinking jobs,
hopefully to some of the growing job categories.
Really important information and honestly fascinating.
I wanna talk a little bit about those women
who are a little bit more established in their careers.
They might have experienced the broken rung already,
but hopefully it's not too late.
So what would you say to them?
Absolutely, Nicole.
It's never too late.
And I think kind of empowering women
to make those choices for themselves with the facts
and the stories is the goal of the book.
So for women in the middle of their career,
sort of 10 years in, I think,
networking, treating networking not as a bad word, not as a kind of unpleasant
activity, but something that helps you meet new people that you might find
interesting, learn about new occupations, new industries.
And when you activate your network and are a connector, I think that can be
really fulfilling.
But equalizing the playing field in terms of your network, I think, is critical.
We talked a bit about this earlier.
I think over the next five and 10 years, there's two skills that all of us will need more of.
And those are technological skills and social and emotional skills.
And when I say technological skills, I don't mean can you code because Gen.A.I. can code better and faster than we will learn to in the next 10 years very easily. But I mean,
how do you interact with technology effectively to do your job better? Whether that's kind of
creating podcasts, whether that's being a nurse, a travel planner, et cetera, all of us need to use
these technological skills and get much more comfortable with them.
The other skill, though, is social and emotional skills.
And those are, can you build trust?
Can you build a relationship?
Can you inspire confidence?
Can you raise an aspiration?
Can you see a human interaction and react with empathy?
These are quintessentially human things.
And generative AI, at least so far, can't do them very well.
And so the complementary skills
become more and more valuable.
And so if we can all across a career
build more technological skills
and social and emotional skills,
I think that puts you in a very flexible space
to jump to different occupations
depending on what the need might be.
And then finally, entrepreneurship.
And I think we sometimes think about entrepreneurship as too black or
white, right?
Are you gonna strike out on your own and start your own business or not?
And in reality, you can show and build entrepreneurship skills in a big company,
right? You can start a new product, a new initiative.
You can kind of initiate things that didn't exist before.
And so how do you build entrepreneurship skills
and signal those as well is critical.
Okay. Quailin, you had mentioned earlier about the time
that we as women take away from our careers
more than our male counterparts.
I have to imagine maternity leave, motherhood,
is at least one big contributing
factor to that. So how do we use motherhood to our advantage? Because I got to tell you,
I never underestimate a mom's ability to get something done, right? Like talk about leadership
skills or influencing skills. So how do we make motherhood, as you said, experience capital, how do we include that
in it or use it to our advantage when it comes to our careers, not having it be seen as this
thing that's detracting or taking away from it?
Absolutely.
Yeah, the ability of mothers to multitask and kind of manage so many things at once is incredible.
I think it's around planning.
What happens before, let's say, a maternity leave,
during a maternity leave, afterwards as you on-ramp?
How can you plan to build experience capital
during those periods?
How do you recognize the skills that you've built,
whether that's multitasking or negotiating with a toddler is an extreme
skill that can actually be applied to the workplace.
But what are these skills that you're building and how do you use them to increase your momentum
as you're coming back from a maternity leave as opposed to allow that to slow you down?
We also talk about though, the motherhood penalty and the fatherhood bonus. So women, when they have children
and the penalty is more extreme with more children
can expect lower lifetime earnings.
Men can expect actually more income.
They're perceived as more mature, more stable,
more reliable when they have children and more children.
And we see this in the numbers kind of globally.
How do we both understand that data and counteract that?
Because when we give two identical resumes,
John Doe and Jane Doe, exactly identical font type,
font size, bullet points, and all we change
is one bullet point that says active parent teacher
association member for that woman.
I think she's something like 87% less likely to get the job.
She's also less likely to get promoted.
And that's because there's this strong parenthood penalty.
Men and women will doubt that she will be as dedicated
of an employee because she is a dedicated parent.
And so that association is a real challenge to overcome
and just being aware of the facts as you plan for motherhood and maternity leave can really shift some of that
dynamic. And then we actually explore bias more broadly. And that's unconscious bias
in the example of this kind of parenthood resume, but also conscious bias, external
bias, right? When somebody sees you, what do they think
and what do they ascribe to you? But also internal bias. How have we internalized some of the
assumptions around leadership and what that looks like, potential and what people are capable of
going forward? So the bias chapter is quite useful, both as a woman in the workplace, but also as an ally.
If you're a male colleague and you
want to learn how to be a better, more proactive ally,
I think that chapter in particular
is really valuable just to name the biases
and then get practical about strategies
that you can take when you see this in action.
What do you do to confront it and minimize
some of those biases?
Yeah, I love that you have a chapter with tools and tips
that we can use when we face bias,
because, you know, it's called unconscious bias for a reason.
And so I think I would imagine the first step
is naming it or knowing it.
There has to be some element of defensiveness
that happens for a lot of people.
So navigating through that and then advocating for yourself. be some element of defensiveness that happens for a lot of people.
So navigating through that and then advocating for yourself.
I think what you just said about the bias of motherhood not being the same or parenthood
not being the same, it's interesting the bias in both directions.
So if my husband puts that he's my kid's basketball coach on his resume,
which he wouldn't, but let's just say the bias is that he gets the credit of still being
career committed where the reality is his family is absolutely more important than his
work.
No doubt about it.
And I would imagine that that is true for a lot of fathers,
many fathers, most fathers, at least the good ones.
Whereas, you know, women, of course,
our families are more important than our jobs.
Come on.
I mean, that's true.
That should be true for all of us.
And yet, I still see so many moms bring so much
to their careers, to their professions, to their purposes. So can you give us maybe some tactical tips
specifically to this bias of some things
that we could do, say, or think to help change the bias
on both, in both directions?
Absolutely.
So I think, one, you can kind of normalize talking about it,
and that may be some of our male colleagues
talking about it more frequently so that be some of our male colleagues talking about it more
frequently so that it's kind of accepted and normal. I also think what women can do is
appreciate and recognize the bias in each of us internally. So you can go online to the implicit
association test and understand that when you more quickly associate the word family with women,
you're also more likely to prefer an equally
qualified man for the job than a woman. And that happens for men, that happens for women, right?
We all have bias internalized, and it's more important to just understand on what dimensions
of gender, race, socioeconomic level, et cetera, education, age, right? What are all of the
dimensions that are most strong for you
so that we can recognize it in ourselves?
As you said, make the unconscious conscious
and then work systematically to reduce it.
And what was that website again?
I wanna make sure to put that in show notes.
The implicit association test online.
It's a free association test
in lots of different dimensions of gender, race, age.
All right.
Friends, we're going to add that in show notes.
I know I'm going to go do it because I'm very aware we all have bias.
That's just the deal.
It's not necessarily always a bad thing.
It's more just making the unconscious conscious, being aware and deciding, is this a bias that
works for me?
Is this one I want to keep?
Is this one that has me practicing empathy for other people?
And if the answer is no, then we have the opportunity to do something about it, right?
Absolutely, Nicole.
And the question I ask myself is, hmm, so I had that first reaction.
And I think this saying of, you're not necessarily responsible for your
first reaction or thought, but you are responsible for your second thought is important. And so then
I ask myself, would I have had that same reaction if that were an older white man? Would I have had
that same reaction if that were a younger black woman? And just exploring the dimensions of what
was that reaction in me, because we all have kind of mental shortcuts
that have served us well through evolution.
But what was that and how do I get underneath that
to explore better and make sure that that was a valid
kind of quick reaction.
Yeah, so great tips in there.
One thing that I have been practicing is when I see,
when I get upset about somebody doing something that I disagree with, I often
ask myself how I would feel if somebody I agreed with did it.
And that is a really good way for me to determine whether or not, how I feel about the thing
versus whether or not I have a bias about who's doing the thing.
That's a great tip.
And it's fascinating how often I'm like, shit, I would be, I'd be okay with it if I agreed with the person.
So, okay, now I got to get myself together.
But anyway, Quailin, a fascinating conversation.
Thank you for the incredible work that the three of you did and for writing this book.
Again, it is called The Broken Wrong.
You can go to brokenrunbook.com.
We'll put the link to that,
the implicit association test,
and all their ways to find and follow
Quailin and the book in show notes.
Thank you, thank you for being here.
Thank you, Nicole.
My pleasure.
All right, friend, no one is saying
that you have to climb the corporate ladder.
If you'd rather build your own, take an entirely different route, or set the whole structure
on fire and start fresh, I support you.
Hell, I applaud you.
But for those of you who want to climb, that do want to seat at that table, the absolute
bare minimum expectation should be that your ladder is solid.
It reaches as high and that all the rungs are as secure
as the next guys.
And while I'm not the decider of what women's work looks like
for you or for any other woman but me,
I am the decider of what we stand for on this podcast.
So let me be clear.
Diversity, equity, and inclusion is absolutely woman's work because woman's
work is both individual and collective. We choose for ourselves and we stand
for other women to be able to do the same. That's it. That's the deal. So climb.
I know it's hard. I know it can be frustrating, disheartening, and
exhausting, but climb anyway. And know that we'll be holding the ladder for you
because that is woman's work.