This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - Why & How I’m Considering Ozempic | 213

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

Ozempic is a hot topic these days. So many podcasts are bringing medical experts on their shows, but on this episode of This Is Woman’s Work I share my very own internal debate about trying Ozempic.  I have never taken any weight loss medication before, but I am considering it. There are many reasons why I want to, and many reasons why I don’t.  You’ll have to listen in to hear me share my thought process, the internal dilemma, and some considerations as I make this personal decision for myself. Because that’s ultimately what this is; a personal decision of what I feel is best for my own body. I’m not taking it lightly and no matter what I decide, it’s time we stop obsessing about the choices people make with their own bodies.  Like what you heard? Please rate and review  Thanks to our This Is Woman’s Work Sponsor: Book your in depth virtual visit with the menopause and perimenopause medical experts at Midi Health by going to joinmidi.com - they accept most major health insurance plans! 

I am Nicole Kalil, and I think you're tuning into another episode of This Is Woman's Work. I think because I prepared this episode without knowing if I'd ever record it. And now that I'm recording it, I can tell you that I am not at all sure that we're going to release it. I'm doing this first and foremost as something cathartic for me, because writing things out helps me process my thoughts, and thinking about it as a podcast episode almost helps it to feel less personal and forces me to be more objective in my approach. It's hard to read the label from inside the bottle, right? So when I think about this more personally, meaning only for myself, about myself,

I can so easily get caught up in my head trash, in my fear and doubts. I can feel confused and unclear and second guess if I'm trusting myself or mind-fucking myself. And if I'm being honest or telling myself what I want to hear, if I'm trusting myself or mind-fucking myself, and if I'm being honest or telling myself what I want to hear, if I'm having feelings or if my feelings are having me, because I'm inside that bottle. I mean deep inside, like it's my new living space,

and I cannot read the label from inside the bottle. But if I frame this as a podcast episode and think about it more globally, if I consider what I would say to you, because it's so much easier for me to be kind and generous to you than it is to me, if I say it out loud, maybe I'll feel less alone. Maybe you will too. Maybe if I speak it, it will lose some of its power and I'll see what's right for me more clearly. Maybe. So what am I even talking about? Well, my topic for today is my very own internal debate about trying Ozempic. In case you've been living under a rock and have managed to not hear about it, it's a diabetes medication that happens to help people with obesity lose weight that they've been otherwise unable to lose.

It's also being used by people with no medical need to lose weight who want to get skinny fast. And I am not the decider of what are valid and invalid reasons, but I think the vast majority of people believe that it's being used for some not so great reasons or in some not so great ways.

At least that's my general understanding of it. Oprah recently did a weight loss special, and I think she shared that she's on Ozempic, but I'm not sure because I didn't watch it. Chances are many of the celebrities, influencers, and people in the public eye who've had some pretty dramatic weight loss in the last year or so are using it. Certainly not all, but I'd venture a guess that it's more than just a few. And in many cases, people aren't saying that that's what they're doing, which on one hand is fine because it's none of our fucking business what people choose to do with their own bodies. But on the other hand, can be pretty problematic

when they're being misleading about it. Nobody owes us an explanation, but if you're out there publicly sharing about your eating habits, nutrition, and exercise, or telling us about your weight loss journey, or showing before and after pictures, and not also sharing that you are taking medication to lose weight, well, that feels pretty out of integrity to me. So let me be clear. As of today, I have not taken Ozempic or any weight loss medication. Hell, I barely even take Advil when I have a headache. I've never had surgery, never done Botox. The most unnatural things that I do are dye my hair and spend a crap load of money on skincare products. And I'm not saying any of that as a judgment of any of those things. I'm sharing it so you'll understand how unlikely it is that I would do this and how frustrated,

discouraged, and possibly desperate I must be to be considering it. But I am considering it. And before I share why, let me also be clear about what I am not looking for or the reasons that aren't a factor in me sharing this publicly. I am not looking for advice unless you're a medical professional, board certified in bariatrics, or whatever the weight loss specialty is called, and have successfully supported patients in their weight loss journey over many, many years, I am not interested in having people tell me about what's worked for them, or that I should look into fasting, or gut microbiomes, or probiotics, or prebiotics, or eating vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free or eliminating grains or eating more fermented foods or taking this supplement or doing that workout while

running on a treadmill and lifting weights under red light therapy while diving into a cold plunge. None of those things are bad. And if any of those have helped you be or become more healthy in any way, then I love that for you. And I am genuinely happy. And I know that most people only share what's worked for them because they care and want to be helpful. But for the love of all things holy, we need to accept a few fucking ground rules here. First, just because something works for you does not mean it will work for everyone. And we all know the person who gets too excited about that thing that works for them. Probably everyone in their life gets that they're excited, likely because they won't shut up about it.

But we are not all the same, which might be the most obvious statement in the world. So we should all stop running around and giving people unsolicited advice about what we think they should do. And we should definitely stop having judgment if the thing that works for us isn't the right fit or doesn't work for them. Second, there are a lot of assumptions being made when we do things like that. In this case, the assumption might be that I haven't already tried all of the things and more. The assumption that the weight gain that I experience must be my fault because I'm clearly doing something wrong or not doing something right. And the assumption that I haven't already sought out all of the best advice on the

topic from all the different people who are actually trained and educated to provide this type of advice. Let's be real. Oprah has every available resource and option there is in the world. She has chefs, personal trainers, chefs for her personal trainers, more money than God, access to any expert she wants, and she can buy mountains to hike on or do any freaking surgery she wants. And she still struggled with her weight. Some people can do everything, and I put in air quotes, right, and still be overweight. I feel like that's a ground rule we need to accept. And third, and I say this with so much love, if we first do not ask a lot of questions, big questions, small questions, deep and meaningful questions, tactical and logistical questions, we should never, and I do mean never, dispense advice. Friend, this is

Coaching Leadership Communicating and Caring 101. We would all serve people better and have much better relationships if we didn't jump so quickly to solutions and to trying to fix each other and ask some goddamn questions to try to understand, to listen, to connect, to even see if the person is open for business and accepting advice before we dump all of our thoughts and opinions all over them. And yes, that was probably a full rant and it completely came from a place of frustration and hurt from my own experience. And I'm responsible for being upfront about that and for owning that. And hopefully that made it very clear that I am not seeking advice and that's not the point of this episode. Which of course begs the question

then, what is the point? Well, if we do in fact end up releasing it, I can think of a few very clear reasons or maybe points that I'm trying to make. First, and I already mentioned this, preparing this like a podcast episode gives me the opportunity to think about this topic a little bit more objectively, a little bit more neutrally, and from different angles. So at least one of the reasons I'm doing this is for my own benefit. The second reason is my own weight gain, despite doing everything I can think of within reason to be healthy, has been a deeply frustrating and very lonely experience. It can be really hard to choose gratitude for my body when it doesn't respond in the ways that make sense to me. Like when I do the right things

and eat the right ways and I still continue to gain weight, it feels like my body doesn't match my choices. And it's not just creating physical concerns, but mental and emotional ones too. And I don't feel like I'm saying that from an unhealthy place. The amount of work I do and have done on my mental and emotional health is something I'm really proud of. I've made progress in many ways, but my weight gain feels like the opposite of progress. So basically, my second reason is to be real and to be honest about something that is really hard for me in hopes that it will make some people feel less frustrated and less alone because I know if I'm experiencing it, other people are too.

And my third reason is because this isn't a black or white or easy decision for me. It feels conflicted, complicated, and not at all simple. And let's face it, so many of our big decisions feel that way. So maybe this can be a relevant example of the thought process, the back and forth, and the potential overthinking that many people face when you're making your own big decisions. And lastly, because the judgment needs to stop. I want you to hear me on this. Our obsession with other people's bodies is unhealthy, unproductive, and wildly problematic. Skinny is not the same as healthy. There are people running marathons who are technically overweight, and there are people in the health and wellness industry who are perpetuating some of the problems.

And those are just some examples. The reality is that with some exceptions, we can't tell if someone is healthy or unhealthy just by looking at them. And I know people who live ridiculously and rigidly healthy lifestyles with big medical concerns. And I also know people who live past the age of 100 who drink alcohol daily and didn't once consider if their food was healthy. Now, my point in saying all that isn't for us to throw up our hands and not think about our

overall health. My point is that we stop using our physical appearance as the barometer of health and that we definitely stop our insane judgment about what other people choose when it comes to their own body. So with all of that in mind, let me share some of my thought process, the internal debates and some considerations as I make this decision for myself. And I am hyper aware that sharing this publicly opens it up for public opinion. And I am also very aware that it is still my decision. Again, my goal is to think about this openly.

So here's my ask while I do that. Watch for any judgments that pop up for you. As is always the case for you and for me and for everyone, our judgments give more insight into us than they do the person we're judging. So as judgments might pop up for you, pay attention to those. What do they tell you about you? Okay, I'm going to dive in and share some of the reasons why I would take Ozempic or a semi-glutide. I don't even know if I'm saying that right. Or some other peptide or basically some sort of medication that might help me with weight loss. I don't even know all

the medical lingo, but there you have it. We'll call it Ozempic for the purpose of clarity. The first reason is because I've tried so much of everything else that hasn't worked for me that I'm not sure I can mentally or emotionally handle one more thing. I've worked with a leading world-renowned functional medical clinic for well over a year. I've had vials upon vials of blood drawn, taken poop samples, sleep apnea tests, worn my Oura ring, worked with board-certified holistic nutritionists, took 16 different supplements three times a day. I've tried intermittent fasting, Weight Watchers, tested for food sensitivities, eliminated grains for a period, tested out keto, done the very rigid fat flush for six weeks, and have started my day with warm lemon water.

I have mostly eaten organic, eat very little processed foods or sugar for the last 15 years of my life. And that's maybe a third of all of the things that I've tried. Yes, I hate working out, but I've done it pretty consistently four times a week, whether that be on the Peloton, running, HIIT training, or strength training. And while I feel better and can see my body change, it hasn't prevented what seems to be inevitable weight gain. And sometimes I get frustrated and give up for a few weeks, but then I get back to it because I remind myself that exercise is about so much more than my weight. And while there is

an element that is focused on how I look, which I'll get to in a minute, the vast majority of my concern is on my future health and longevity. It's no secret that being overweight can lead to all sorts of health issues like heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, stroke, joint pain, mobility issues when I'm older, I don't know, death. And here's the reality for me. If I were diagnosed with heart disease or high blood pressure or any of those other things, I know what it is that I would do because it's what I always do. I'd look for a natural, alternative, healthy option first. And if that didn't solve the problem, I would take any medication that my doctor prescribed. And I would consider that a healthy choice. So why does Ozempic feel so different? When I was pregnant, I had gestational diabetes and I have a family history of it. So

when I was diagnosed, I bought a diabetes cookbook and I changed my diet completely. I monitored my glucose, I stayed active, and I took the lowest dose of medication that my doctor prescribed under the condition that if it didn't do the trick, I would absolutely increase to a higher dose. I managed to get through a very healthy pregnancy, in which I only gained nine pounds, by the way, because I did what I felt was best. Is this really that different from that? I've tried all the alternative option. There's clear proof that being overweight is a huge risk. And I have years upon years of evidence that I continue to gain weight every year, no matter what I do. So maybe it's time for the medication. Another reason why I'm considering it does have to do with how I look, or at the very least,

how I'm perceived. When I speak on stages, get my picture taken, go on date nights with other couples, attend work functions, get in a bathing suit in front of people, and get naked with Jay, I spend way too much time being uncomfortable. And it's impacting my desire to do any and all of those things. And let's be honest, as an introvert, I already struggle with doing people-y things, and this is making it much worse. I feel like I'm heading towards full recluse here. It's all one big mindfuck and frankly, a huge concern of mine for my overall health because my mental, emotional, and social health is equal, if not even more important to me than my physical health. And yes, I could never eat grains and live only on vegetables, never eat out, never touch alcohol, work out

two times a day. I could live like on the 75 hard program for the rest of my life. But the reality is those things are not sustainable for me. And frankly, it wouldn't be healthy for me. So let me boil that all down. The primary reason I would choose to take Ozempic would be for my overall health and because I've tried everything else and I don't think I can deal with the frustration and disappointment of doing just one more thing only to find myself struggling to get into my pants a few months later. I live just outside of Boston and I still struggle to find great doctors to help me understand perimenopause, let alone to provide expert care and to guide me through it,

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M-I-D-I, that's joinmidi.com because you deserve to feel great. Yes, even during perimenopause. And once you've done that, let's head back to the show. So those are the reasons I would do it. And here's why I wouldn't. This may be fairly obvious and might be what you're already thinking, but my belief, passion, and my message about confidence is that it has nothing to do with how you look. And I stand by that. I do not believe that taking Ozempic or being skinnier will make me feel more confident. It might make me feel more attractive and more comfortable in my clothes, which would feel good, but it won't make me trust myself more. Unless you factor in trusting myself to make the right

best decision for myself, regardless of whatever that is that I decide, of course, trusting myself and making good decisions for myself does and will build confidence, but not the weight loss part. So one of the reasons I wouldn't do it is because I struggle with it feeling a little off-brand. I don't know how to say it any other way than that. I'm also worried about short-term side effects like feeling nauseous and potentially long-term unknown side effects because peptides have only been on the market for around 20 years and Ozempic is fairly new.

And I am concerned about other people's opinions, even though I hate that I'm concerned about it. I loathe the idea of the inevitable, you look so good, have you lost weight comments? And I fear the, you're a hypocrite, how can you take Ozempic and talk about confidence comments that I think I might get? Maybe not to my face, but behind my back or at a distance, the way most cowards communicate stuff like that. And I hate that I still care about this, that I have made huge progress from the eating disorders of my 20s, but shouldn't I be at the point where I don't give a fuck about

how I look and that I can just be grateful and proud of my body the way that it is? And I am a lot of the time, but not all of the time, not even most of the time. And being grateful and proud doesn't change the health risks associated with being overweight. And I've been in therapy and worked on this for a very long time. And I hate that I still care, even if it is just sometimes, but I really do. I've even found myself feeling disappointed when some women that I admire who have normal average-sized bodies all of a sudden lose a bunch of weight. I've caught myself thinking, oh no, not you too. And I hate that somebody might have that feeling about me should I choose to take it. And as you can probably see, and I've already said,

this isn't a black or white decision for me. Big decisions rarely are. There are reasons, whether you agree with them or not, why I would consider taking Ozempic. And there are reasons, whether you agree with them or not, why I wouldn't. So how do I decide? Well, here are some tactics that have worked for me pretty well in the past and that I'm employing with this decision too.

First and foremost, I'm going to sit with it and create the opportunity for the answer to find me and create the quiet that I need for me to hear the answer when it comes. The second thing I'm doing is I'm gathering information. And because I'm not a natural researcher, this often means for me reaching out to friends and connections that I have who are knowledgeable or have a unique perspective about the decision that I'm making. In this case, I reached out to the few people in my life that would be least likely to agree with the decision if I took Ozempic. Not because they're judgmental,

but because they are the most focused people that I know on clean living. And they listen to health and wellness podcasts more often than I spend recording this podcast. They've read books, studied anatomy, nutrition, and will try all of the natural remedies available before they turn to medication. I went to them because I wanted to pressure test

this feeling that I have that this might be the right move for me. And like I expected, they asked a lot of questions. They listened. They sent me articles and podcasts and all sorts of information with arguments for and against taking Ozempic. And what was less expected is they made me feel heard and safe and that they'd respect and support whatever decision I make. And that if I do move forward, I've done my due diligence and I'm not taking this decision lately. I gathered information from the people who are least likely to tell me what I wanted to hear. The next move is to get some professional guidance. I'm talking to functional and traditional doctors and licensed professionals here. I'm asking about the

side effects and the risks. I'm getting updated blood work to see if there are any new issues that I'm unaware of. And I am sorry, but the advice that's being splattered all over social media is not professional guidance. Unless somebody is getting to know you, asking questions about you, getting information needed about you, and then applying their education and certification to that information, I am not considering anything other than that professional guidance. And then I'm talking to the people that I trust most. Jay, of course, and my mom and closest friends and my sister. And I'm considering how I would want to share this with JJ because hiding it would not be an option for me. And talking about it like it's a diet or something I'd be doing to become skinny

isn't an option for me either. I am hyper aware that I'm modeling health, body image, and self-acceptance as a woman for her. And that's something I take very seriously. And ultimately, when I've done all of these things, when all is said and done and things become more clear for me, the very last step is to trust myself and decide. If the decision is not to take it, I'll continue to monitor my health aggressively with a lot of attention on my heart, insulin, and I'll do whatever preventative things that I can think of to mitigate any potential health issues that being overweight might cause. I'll continue to focus on eating healthy, on movement, good sleep, and minimizing

my stress. And I'll have to let go of the numbers increasing on the scale year over year. And if the decision is to take it, I'll pretty much do the same thing. Monitor my health, continue to focus on eating healthy, movement, good sleep, and all of the other thing. Monitor my health, continue to focus on eating healthy, movement, good sleep, and all of the other things. And I reserve the right to change my mind no matter what my decision is today at any time, because it's my fucking body. I likely won't report back on what it is I ultimately decide because this episode wasn't meant to be about the actual decision, but the process of making complex decisions and the discussion about letting go of the judgment we all have

about other people's bodies and the choices they make with them. Maybe you'll be able to tell if you see me six months down the road what my decision was either way, but you sure as shit won't see me start posting pictures. And if I choose to take it, I'm going to respectfully ask that nobody say anything like, oh my God, you look great. Have you lost weight when you see me? But I personally am definitely not somebody who appreciates commentary on my body. You want to give me a compliment? Tell me I made a difference. Tell me this podcast helped you in some way. Call me brave. Compliment the confidence it takes to make my own decisions in the face of everyone else's

opinions. Those are the things that really matter to me. And if I don't take it, please know that while I may still be overweight, if we use the BMI scale or Instagram standards, I am in fact healthy. I am making good choices. I'm not lazy or undisciplined. And making snap judgments about people based on their physical appearance is at best lazy and immature. And at worst, it makes you an asshole. Me too, by the way, which is why I'm paying lots of attention and really working on all of my judgments when they pop up for me. So ultimately, I am not advocating for Ozempic and I am also not against it. I advocate for people making their own decisions when it comes to their own bodies. I also advocate for doing the work before you make big life and medical decisions. Do the therapy and the

self-discovery. Talk to the experts. Pressure test your ideas and beliefs. Ask yourself, and more importantly, be honest with yourself who and what you're doing it for and why. I've said it before and I'll say it again. You are the decider, as am I. Am I worried that people won't like me or my decision? That they'll have judgment? That they'll talk about me behind my back? Yeah, I mean, maybe a little. But as Judy Holler so eloquently said, people already don't like me. People are already judging me and they're already talking about me behind my back. And I'm going to make the best decision for me anyway. Anything less would be a cop-out. So I've thought out loud and I've said my piece, but now it's time for me to decide. Trusting myself and letting go of everything else. That is woman's work.