This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - Women Are Tired — Stop Pointing It Out | Unfiltered & Unhinged

Starting point is 00:00:00 When West Jet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to Westjetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. I am Nicole Khalil and you're listening to the This Is Woman's Work podcast, the unfiltered and unhinged edition.

Starting point is 00:00:41 Short episodes, big truce, absolutely zero perfection. Okay, so a couple of years back, we released an episode called Stop Saying That. It's episode 216 if you're looking for it. And per usual, I went on a bit of a rant. In this case, about phrases and questions we often hear as women that really, and I mean really, need to be retired permanently. Things like, are you going to eat that? Or why are you still single?

Starting point is 00:01:09 or are you trying for a boy? And of course, the classic, you should smile more. I mean, I had a field day with that episode. But it was recently brought to my attention that I missed one. And the way that it was brought to my attention is that somebody said it to me. And in between wanting to strangle them and rolling my eyes into the back of my head, I thought, we got to add this one to the list. And it goes a little something like this.

Starting point is 00:01:34 You look tired, which, by the way, is, a fascinating observation, considering that I own mirrors. Now, listen, I'm going to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and assume this usually comes from a place of caring. But we still need to stop saying it. Because if someone is tired enough that you can physically see it, I promise you they are already aware. Pointing it out does not provide any new information and it definitely doesn't help.

Starting point is 00:02:03 I mean, if we look tired, there's probably a fucking reason. Maybe there's a newborn in the house who does. not give two shits about anyone getting a solid, uninterrupted eight hours of sleep. Maybe it's insomnia. Maybe it's heartbreak or stress or grief or hormones. Maybe it's the never-ending to-do list that includes work, family, friendship, self-care, exercise, nutrition, emails, remembering to schedule the dentist, figuring out what's for dinner, and somewhere in all of that trying to be a functioning human.

Starting point is 00:02:36 Or maybe, I mean, maybe season four of Bridgeton just. came out or any season of shrinking and we made some choices. Listen, there are lots of valid reasons why somebody might look and be tired. What we definitely don't need, though, is somebody pointing it out like Captain Obvious just cracked some sort of big case. If you feel the urge to say you look tired, let me offer a few alternatives that could actually be helpful. You could try asking, how are you doing? Like, really? Or what's been keeping you up at night? Or even it seems like you might need a little extra support right now. How can I help? See the difference? One simply point something out. The other options actually open a door or a conversation. Okay, so what's my point? What's the moral of this story?

Starting point is 00:03:29 It's stop telling people they look tired, even if they look absolutely haggard. And if you feel the need to say something, how about this instead? Can I go get you a latte or do you prefer cappuccino or a nap? Listen, sometimes the to-do list is longer than our patients and our sleep schedule is questionable at best. And sometimes the most helpful thing any of us can do for each other isn't pointing out the obvious. It's offering a little kindness instead. Because of course we're tired. I have yet to meet an adult woman who isn't. We are all carrying around so much and the world feels like a dumpster fire right now. So if you want to be helpful, be part of the solution. But if your contribution is simply pointing out that we look exhausted, go ahead and keep your observations to yourself.

Starting point is 00:04:23 Listen, this is just me trying to be helpful. I'm out here saving lives, people, because I know you're tired. I am too. And yet, we keep going. Because this is woman's work. Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything. Like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember, 988, Canada's suicide crisis helpline. It's good to know, just in case.

Starting point is 00:05:02 Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada. Welcome to True Spies. The podcast that takes you deep inside the greatest secret missions of all time Suddenly out of the dark that's appeared in Laubman You'll meet the people who live life undercover What do they know? What are their skills? And what would you do in their position?

Starting point is 00:05:31 Vengeance felt good. Seeing these people pay for what they'd done felt righteous. True spies from Spyscape Studios, wherever you get your podcasts.

This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - Women Are Tired — Stop Pointing It Out | Unfiltered & Unhinged

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