This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - Yell for Help | Unfiltered & Unhinged

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

We need to talk about asking for help — and not the polite, over-explained, apologetic version most of us were taught. In this unfiltered and slightly unhinged mini-episode of This Is Woman’s Work, Nicole Kalil shares a courtside lesson she learned from a group of middle school girls playing basketball — and honestly, they’re doing teamwork, boundaries, and support better than most adults. When these girls get caught on defense, they don’t spiral, minimize, or pretend they’ve got it handled. They yell “HELP! HELP! HELP!” loudly, clearly, and without shame — fully expecting their teammates to show up. And guess what? They do. No judgment. No scorekeeping. No martyrdom. This episode is a reminder that burnout isn’t a badge of honor, doing it all alone isn’t strength, and asking for help early is one of the smartest, strongest things you can do. Because life, love, leadership — it’s all a team sport. And around here? We answer when someone yells for help. That’s woman’s work. Thank you to our sponsors! Sex is a skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Visit https://beducate.me/pd2550-womanswork and use code womanswork for 50% off the annual pass. Connect with Nicole: Subscribe to Nicole’s Substack: https://nicolekalil.substack.com/  Join the Inner Circle: https://nicolekalil.myflodesk.com/newsletter  Share the Love:: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm Nicole Khalil and you're listening to the This Is Woman's Work podcast, the unfiltered and unhinged edition. Short episodes, big truths, absolutely zero perfection. Today's lesson comes from an unexpected group of experts, middle school girls, about a critical skill that they're doing way better than most adults. And this lesson found its way to me court side while watching JJ play basketball. Now, listen, let me tell you up front that I do not know much about basketball. And this is not false. humility. I genuinely do not know what's happening half the time. But this doesn't prevent me from yelling bad call at the refs on occasion because that's part of being a parent, right? Anyway, I learned something about basketball recently that I cannot stop thinking about. We've been spending many weekends watching JJ play, and this is my absolute favorite lesson so far. When these girls are on defense and somebody blows past them or a switch happens or they see something or someone coming that they're absolutely not prepared for, they yell, help, help, help.

They don't whisper. There is absolutely no apology to our. There's no shrinking. There's no hiding, finger pointing, no fixing or shaming. They don't even really ask for help. They call for it loudly and clearly, and they fully expect their teammates to show up. And do you know what happens?

Someone does. Again, no eye rolling, no judgment, no post-posts, play analysis of what they could have done better or how they should have handled it on their own. No, keeping score of how many times they asked or gave help. They just show up the very best that they can every time. They call out for help and help arrives, which feels radically different from how most of us operate. We convince ourselves that we should be able to handle it on our own. We whisper, hint, and play mind games with our needs. We apologize for taking up space and we feel bad for even asking. We wait until we're already overwhelmed, burnt out, and exhausted before we admit

we're in trouble. We hesitate. We over-explain. We minimize. Meanwhile, these middle school girls are out here like, this is bigger than me. I see it coming. I'm calling. I'm calling. for backup with absolutely no shame in yelling for help. I mean, honestly, every single time they do it, I want to stand up and applaud, which would obviously be mortifying for my daughter. God, mom, you're so cringe. But I could not be more grateful that these girls are learning this lesson so young. And I hold on a deep hope that they carry it off the court. So as we move through full calendars and tired bodies and expectations that never seem to slow down, I'll leave you with this amazing lesson that I'm carrying forward. Sometimes you score, sometimes you pass. Sometimes you square up

and take what's coming at you. And sometimes, just sometimes, the smartest, strongest thing that you can do is yell, help, help, help, and trust that your people will show up to cover you. That's basketball. It's also life and it's love. And it's all a team sport and you are covered. Because none of us are meant to do this alone. And around here, we answer when somebody yells for help. Because showing up for your people is absolutely woman's work. And if this kind of unfiltered, slightly unhinged, deeply human truth is your thing? Make sure you subscribe to the podcast. so you don't miss them. And if you prefer reading you're crazy,

then you can find the links in our notes to my substack where all of my best writing lives. Or you can join my inner circle where you will always get more first and fully unfiltered. Again, links are in notes. Now, go ask for help. Go do woman's work.