This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil - Your Brain Is a Filthy Liar with Bizzie Gold | 361
Episode Date: November 12, 2025In this episode we call BS on the “you’re not enough / who do you think you are?” soundtrack and dig into self-deception—the sneaky brain patterns that distort our reality and keep us looping ...the same results. Our guest, Bizzie Gold, creator of Break Method and author of Your Brain Is a Filthy Liar, shows us how to spot the lies, map our patterns, and rewire for freedom. Known for her no-BS approach to personal development, Bizzie has spent over a decade helping thousands of people and organizations identify the subconscious patterns running the show. Her data-driven, neuroscience-based system has been featured in major media outlets and is transforming how we think about mental health, leadership, and self-growth. We cover: Positive vs. negative self-deception—when your brain either minimizes risk (“I got this”) or magnifies it (“why try, it’ll fail anyway”). The Brain Pattern Spectrum—why some of us skew hyper-independent and others codependent, and how both can spiral without awareness. Perception of reality ≠ reality—how your “neurocognitive funnel” colors emotions, choices, and behavior on autopilot. Childhood inputs > dramatic anecdotes—how small, repetitive cues (not just Big-T trauma) program lifelong patterns. “Center with range”—why the goal isn’t becoming a new person; it’s regaining balance and flexibility so you can lead, love, and live without self-sabotage. Real-world application—how mapping your pattern can improve team dynamics and performance, not just your inner peace. You can take Bizzie’s brain pattern mapping diagnostic via her site. Ultimately, this episode is a masterclass in breaking your brain’s bad habits—because when you understand your wiring, you can finally stop running old programs and start living with clarity, confidence, and choice. Thank you to our sponsors! Get 20% off your first order at curehydration.com/WOMANSWORK with code WOMANSWORK — and if you get a post-purchase survey, mention you heard about Cure here to help support the show! Visit beducate.me/womanswork69 and use code womanswork69 for 65% off the annual pass. Black Friday has come early at Cozy Earth! Right now, you can stack my code WOMANSWORK on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. Connect with Bizzie: Website: https://bizziegold.com/bg-welcome Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967424292 IG: https://www.instagram.com/bizziegold/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bizziegold/ X: https://x.com/bizziegold Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@BizzieGoldOfficial Break Method: https://breakmethod.com/ Related Podcast Episodes How To Rewire Patterns That No Longer Serve You with Judy Wilkins-Smith | 323 Practical Intuition: How to Trust Your Gut and Tune Out the Noise with Laura Day | 356 The Icelandic Art of Intuition with Hrund Gunnsteinsdóttir | 307 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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You're listening to the This Is Woman's Work podcast, and I got to tell you, we get a lot of pitches for this show, like a lot, because we cover anything and everything that feels relevant to women today. So we're open to a lot of topics. And if I'm being honest, a good chunk of the pitches and the topics sort of blur together. Same ideas, same buzzwords.
same empowerment dressed up in a slightly different outfit.
But when a pitch lands in your inbox titled,
Your Brain is a filthy liar,
let's just say it stands out.
Because let's face it,
if you're a woman who's been out in the world for more than five minutes,
you already know about that voice in your head.
The one that whispers or shouts things like,
you're not enough,
or they're going to find out that you don't belong here,
or you always mess things up.
That, my friends, is what I call head trash.
I like calling it that because it's,
sounds as dirty and disgusting as it actually is. Yes, our brains are brilliant, beautifully designed,
but they're also masters of deception. And the most dangerous lies are the ones we believe
without question, the ones that sound like facts because they've been playing on a loop in our minds,
maybe even since before we had language to challenge them. We know our brains hold on to patterns,
that the amygdala is more concerned with keeping us safe than helping us grow. We know that
awareness and willpower alone aren't going to create sustainable change because if they were,
we'd all already be changed. And yet, we keep trying to think our way out of our deepest wiring.
So on this episode, we're calling bullshit on our brains. We're getting honest about the lies we tell
ourselves and why. And most importantly, we're exploring what it actually takes to break free of
patterns that we didn't choose. And there's no one better to guide us through this than busy gold.
She's the creator of Break Method and the author of Your Brain is a filthy liar.
Over the last 11 years, Busy has mapped tens of thousands of data sets to expose the predictable
patterns of self-deception that keep us stuck. Her work blends neuroscience, behavior strategy,
and data analytics, turning emotional rewiring into a system that you can measure, predict, and
actually use. And she's here to help us dismantle the subconscious lies,
that are holding us back. So, busy, welcome to the show. And I'm going to kick us off by asking,
is our brain actually lying to us? And how often is this actually happening?
Hi, it's so good to be here. And you told me I could challenge anything that you said,
but I have nothing to challenge. It was perfect. It was beautiful. Chef's kiss. Couldn't agree
more. Everyone's brain does lie to them. This is a unique aspect of the human experience.
And whether you look at it from a mental health paradigm, a biblical paradigm, there's this
understanding that somehow we can be our own worst enemy in anything that we do. And this is
at least tangentially tried to early childhood trauma, which we'll certainly get into today.
Each one of us, of which there are over 8 billion people in the world, have a unique
pattern of self-deception. But one of the things that I found over the 11 years of doing my research
is that there's actually only five versions of this pattern. So there aren't eight billion
unique patterns. There's only five spread out across eight billion people. In my book, I break
down each of these five general types. And then there are, of course, subsections within that.
Once we understand what your brain pattern type is, I can accurately predict exactly what the
language your brain uses to try to keep you stuck. So I can actually predict the lies themselves
and help you understand from a historical data perspective what inputs generated those self-deceptive
outputs. And it might be helpful for the audience to know that there are two general forms of
self-deception that are worth noting. One would be positive and the other would be negative.
Positive self-deception happens to certain brain pattern types where your brain actually minimizes the
risk and only highlights the reward. So this can lead you into traps. It can lead you into burnout
where you think I'm superwoman. I'm going to figure it out.
And maybe you do, but I'm sure listeners of the show have been there before. You might figure it out a lot, but there's always an expense. Maybe it's at the expense of letting something go at work or letting your body go because you're not actually taking the time to go to the gym, right? There's always something that you're borrowing from, and that would be a byproduct of something like a positive self-deception. Then you have negative self-deception where the brain is much more focused on the risks, and it's actually minimizing the reward. So if you look at it in more
primal sense, these sort of tendencies were what really drove our behavior. Should I hunt and
gather now? Should I stay back in my cave? And this is really ultimately what we're all dealing
with today is that we've got these very primal fear and instinctive patterns operating underneath the
hood. But now we have very invisible fears all around us. We're no longer being chased by a tiger.
We don't have to go out in the woods and actually scound for our food. So now our triggers are
anywhere and everywhere and they're often at such a subconscious level that many of us are not aware of
them. So we're operating in these deeply rooted patterns all day long. And there's a part of us that is
conscious, right? So I'm 40 years old. I don't know how old you are, but my 40 year old lived
experience perspective is very different than these deeply ingrained patterns. I could hear something
and I could talk myself out of it most likely. But not everybody can do this. Not everybody has
agency to separate the two because they've identified with that underlying message, that
underlying belief for so long that they actually feel like that underlying fear-based instinct
is more than the conscious version of themselves that has choice. Wildly fascinating.
I have one million questions. I am sure myself and our listener wants to know a little bit more
about the brain pattern type. So I'm going to remind people to get the book, your brain is a
filthy liar, so you can dive deep into these. But could you give us maybe an overview of each of the
five or maybe a couple that might be most relevant, however you want to tackle it, but I'd love to
understand a little bit more of the brain pattern types. So when you do jump into the book, there is a
page that has a visual of the actual brain pattern spectrum in it. So if any of you have the book or
you go get the book, there is that page where you can actually reference what I'm going to verbally
walk you through right now. So every single person in the world can get plotted onto this brain
pattern spectrum. And I want you to envision it like an X, Y axis, right? So let's all take it back to
math for a moment. So I want you to divide that spectrum in equal left and right halves. We have two
primary brain pattern types on the left hand side, and then we have three of the primary brain
pattern types on the right hand side. There are a few features of this brain pattern spectrum that
I think are really important because I think there are times when people start kind of throwing out
nomenclature that people aren't familiar with. They're like, yeah, those are some big fancy words that
really don't describe much except some organizational system that you've crafted.
This is distinct and different because as evidenced by us calling it a spectrum and there's
this X, Y, axis measurement to it, there are very specific qualities that go up or down
depending on where somebody is actually plotted on this spectrum. So where each pattern
type is organized is a direct byproduct of the qualities that are inherent to not only the
the distorted perception of reality, but the output and emotion behavior and thought
forms. So every single place you would go left or right is very prescriptive. And I like to
think about it more like a longitude and latitude. Right. So it's not this vague like,
yeah, you're somewhere over here. It's a very exact, precise placement. So even within one category,
you or I, for example, could have the same brain pattern type. But you or I may be five spaces
separated from each other. And even that just distinction would give us as a clinician
or a behavior strategist's perspective a lot of understanding on exactly how we would be different
or see a situation differently. So once you understand where someone's placed, you can actually
accurately anticipate how they would perceive reality. And I think this is one of the biggest
keys here. There aren't many mental health conversations happening right now that focus primarily
on perception of reality. And I was on a podcast maybe two months ago, and the podcast host was
like, like, what is mental illness? And I realized in all of the podcasts I had done, not one person
asked me that question. And I finally got to give the answer, which is it is a distorted perception
of reality. There's something that I teach in my work called the neurocognitive funnel.
So essentially, all of our behavior, our emotional responses, all of our patterns,
they're going to filter from the top down through our perception of reality. So we can't get
around it no matter where you go. Our behaviors never exist in a silo. So if we don't understand how
the brain actually assimilates reality and then kind of ties in assumptions and underlying core
beliefs and distortions that are inherent to the human experience, we won't ever be able to
understand why an emotion results or why a behavior results. So that's one of the things that we do
focus on our work. And ultimately, where you are placed on this brain pattern spectrum, it tells
us exactly that. How are you specifically going to distort reality in this exact moment or with
these characters? Or let's say, for a certain brain pattern type, we know that if there's a perceived
hierarchy structure in a social setting, you would perceive something a very specific way compared to
another person on the brain pattern spectrum as a peer. So these are all little nuances,
but as you move out to the left-hand side, there are a few qualities that are going to
track up in scale. So every time you move from the center out to the left, we would expect self-trust
to go up. We would expect independence to go up all the way to potentially a place where you don't
trust anybody and you do everything by yourself and you very much isolated yourself on the very far left
side. Typically, people also become very career and purpose driven as they move to the left.
So an example would be in the very center, I have something that we call the circle of complacency.
So the circle of complacency is a place where people tend to live very repetitive mundane lives.
They don't take a lot of risk, therefore there's not a lot of reward.
These can be very family-centric people, but there's just what would excite them or make them feel fulfilled in life is very different than their peers on the left and right sides of the spectrum.
So if you kind of set that as the position in the center, basically everything you go out from that, you know, very repetitive being able to have the same job for 40 years and
It's not that great, but it's not that bad, and that's okay because you just want stability,
right? That would be you in the center. So as you can imagine, as you go out into the left,
you also have more volatility. There's specific volatility, whether we're talking left side spectrum
or right side, but as you move, no matter what, there is more volatility until you get all the way
out to the far left side where there's extreme volatility. Typically here, we also see an increase
in situational awareness. So if you, again, were to imagine some of these characters that might be
plotted in the circle of complacency, there's not a lot of need for situational awareness,
right? You're not putting yourself in harm's way. So it's almost as if this instinct hasn't been
developed. But if you keep moving out to the left, situational awareness can become very
intensified all the way to the far left. This is where you may expect to see somebody that
perhaps is a war vet with PTSD, where they're so situationally aware that they can't decide
what should be taken action on or what is actually just something happening in their mind or
possibly paranoia. And then at that point, if you're all the way,
to the far left as well, you've likely isolated yourself from anybody else. So now no one's
able to give you feedback about your perspective. So as you can imagine, there's a large cluster
of mental illness in that far left side of the spectrum. But halfway through the left side,
we actually have the highest number of entrepreneurs and top 1% of any business setting,
any sort of industry, you're always going to have that center left spectrum is going to be
the concentration of it. There's a very specific reason for this.
in the center of the left, right? So you'll see a square in the center of the left. You have this
equal balance of independence, self-trust, an awareness of what's happening around you that allows
you to make good decisions for an organization or for a team. But there isn't this fixation on what
others think or feel about you, which allows you, again, to have self-trust, but it also allows you
to kind of methodically focus on your work without getting distracted by little relational
antagonism or any sort of like tit for tat conflict, which unfortunately on the right
hand side of the spectrum is something that happens very frequently. So if we go to the center
now and we fan out to the right, all of those qualities that we just saw go up now continue to
go down. So situational awareness continues to go down. And in its place, we start to see a fixation
on relational cues. So as every step we move, there becomes almost an obsession with what you
were thinking about me, which of course is projection and assumption. So it's never going to be
100% accurate. And for honest, it may not be accurate at all, especially because what we find
in our work is that the people on the right are misreading and mislabeling the people on the left
who are completely oblivious to the people on the right. They're not thinking about how they feel.
They're not thinking about their facial expressions. They're just locked in on the goal and they're
just focused on getting things done. But that behavior is often misinterpreted and misinterpreted
mislabeled by people on the right. So they're feeling slighted and judged and blamed all the while,
then likely they're probably going to express that to the other person because they're typically,
they experience more emotionality than the people on the left. And then obviously you can put two
and two together. These people typically end up in intimate relationships together, right?
Kind of the men are from Mars, limine, or from Venus sort of theory or opposites attract.
So as we move to the right as well, where on the left, people became more independent. Now we start
to see a trend more toward codependency all the way to the very farthest right side of
dependency. So the very far right side, we have this cluster of people where, again, there's
high levels of mental illness. There tends to be full dependency where these people can't keep
jobs. They may live with their parents or they may crash on people's couches. But there's a
perception that everything is futile and that nothing matters. So anything that someone would be like,
oh, you should go try that. Their brain is never able to kind of turn the engine
over and decide to go after a goal and follow it up with any sort of action because everything
feels futile. So that's when you get all the way out to that far right side. So as you can imagine,
the far right and the far left, if we were just observing them in their everyday environment,
they may look very similar. And I think this is one of my concerns with the traditional mental
health approach is that I have seen them more often than not get bulked up in the same group
when what actually drives these two different groups is entirely different. And there will
would be no similar treatment plan that would work for both.
And I think this is why in things like addiction recovery,
you see a, you know, in general, one-size-fits-all approach
with many people relapsing.
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So when we look at the far right-hand side, there's this really interesting phenomenon that I've
seen especially over the last year because typically whenever I'm on a podcast, I do tend
to map the brain pattern of whoever the podcast host is as well. So we'll certainly send you
the link. There's this interesting spot on the right, right before we get to these more
dependent, nothing matters, very almost kind of like existential crisis. Nile.
there's this interesting spot that I've been titling the cowboy position. So if you think about it
going from the center out to the right, oftentimes there's this sort of questioning. Instead of like a
why not mentality, everything's like, yeah, but why? Like they want to, they want to know why they should
do something. They're seeking reassurance. They're testing their environment. They're not just going to
drive after a goal impulsively. And they certainly tend to skew more negative with self-deception.
So then there's this one unique spot right before you get to this chaos pattern on the far right where I'm calling it the cowboy position where there's this adventurous recklessness that actually I've seen have has people thrive in entrepreneurship and podcast hosting where it was like maybe their family raised them to have a strong sense of duty and big picture their family wanted them to care what other people thought about them. But eventually they said, you know what, screw that. I don't want to do that anymore.
We can see it in their patterning, but there's this very kind of wild hair intentional pushing
against that that makes them present a bit more like a cowboy.
So we can see that where they're placed on the spectrum, it makes sense with their childhood
inputs, but it's like they chose to really kind of take this wild course to the right.
And they can absolutely thrive.
And a lot of their behaviors will mimic some of their left-sided peers.
But they have an underlying sense of duty and responsibility that,
their left-sided peers may not have.
So these people, an example, let's say that you have an elderly parent and there's a bunch of
siblings, the cowboy position would be much more likely to begrudgingly go take care of the
parent and be like, fine, I'll do it, where the left side peers would be like, I've got work
and I've got this meeting, somebody else has to do it, right?
So there wouldn't be that underlying sense of familial responsibility on the left that would
exist on the right, although the behavior, if we just look at the behavior alone, they can
be pretty reckless, but typically highly intelligent. And they mimic a level of situational awareness,
though compared to their left side peers, it would be very different and contrasted.
So within all of those markers, you place these five brain pattern types. The language of them
would be like me speaking Chinese, but ultimately where you are placed cracks the code on how you
see the world, what emotional responses you have in what order, and what behavior responses
or then a byproduct of those emotions.
So we track nine markers in total to our thought-based.
So they're very much under the hood.
They actually help us understand how you see the world,
which for some people feels really exposing,
because this is something that people are usually really good at masking, right?
Like, I present this way.
I present so confident.
So when we kind of hit the nail right on the head,
a lot of times people are taken back, they're like, oh, my God,
how could you see that about me?
Like, I feel so exposed.
I kind of want to cry right now.
Because we're not just, it's not like a personality test.
It's so much deeper than that.
And then the three in the center are all explaining emotional addiction cycle and how that
unfolds over time. And then the bottom four are behavior markers that help us understand
early transitional and late stage behavior. Okay. My head is spinning. I just want to reiterate
what I think you said several times, but I just want to make sure I'm hearing this correctly.
What you're saying is where we're placed can predict our thoughts, behavior, decisions,
near perfect accuracy, correct?
98.3.
Oh, geez. Okay. So then that leads to the question, what places us? Is it birth? Is it trauma? Is it
childhood? How do we end up where we are? We are a byproduct of our early childhood repetitive experiences. And I think this is important to contrast because very often, especially in today's world, where it kind of feels like everyone wants to be in the trauma Olympics, we all tend to have a story of why we are the way we are. And this is even common coming out of therapy, which
in my practice, I see many people who have tried everything and nothing has worked. So I'm kind of
break method tends to be the last stop for people. So typically you get people that are sitting there
giving you the list of like, well, my therapist says I have this and this and this. And typically my
perspective is that's all great and I'm not trying to, you know, turn you on your therapist or anything
like that. But let's see what the data says because that is what your therapist led you to believe.
And I have found that in almost all circumstances, that ends up functioning like a red herring and
a Nancy Drew book. It's leading us way off course when most likely your brain pattern was formed
by things that are so much more under the radar that you would never really think about them.
Examples would be people think that, you know, I am this way because my parents got divorced
and my dad left. The reality is you are likely much more who you are because of certain facial
expressions that your mom gave when you were three and four to express disapproval. So we try to
to get people to the more under the radar repetitive inputs that you're experiencing and how
your brain was trying to understand them. Because ultimately, every child comes into this world
curious, right? Curiosity is how we actually learn and grow and how we build our rule structures.
They're innocent. They don't have anything to compare and contrast to. They're not jaded. They're not
hardened. They can't compare and contrast. This isn't, well, this isn't as bad as it was last time.
Everything's fresh. So everything hurts more. The first.
time your mom gives you a look of disapproval, that could be absolutely resonating with your body
as a trauma, even though it wasn't trauma under the standards of what we may describe as trauma as an
adult perspective. But each of those inputs leaves a mark. It's also important to recognize that
kids come into this world wanting nothing more than to experience love. And often what you get is
something else entirely. I have four kids and praise God, I've gotten better at parenting every
single time. But if I look back, you know, at the first one and two, you're learning how to keep it
together. The first one, my first daughter actually died for 20 minutes during childbirth and
she ended up having cerebral palsy. So there was this medically fragile condition, all these things
were going on. And it's, you know, when you're dealing with stuff like that, even the most
intentional, kind-hearted parent, which I really wanted to do everything I could for my kid,
that does not mean by any stretch that I was perfect and I didn't completely traumatize her.
You know, at any given second, she could have fallen or stopped breathing and like,
did I give her enough phenobarbital. So I'm sure I was always on edge, right? And if somebody's
always doing that, then you're like, okay, should I be scared too? So of course, anything, even simple,
like what I just described, if a parent is on edge, the child is going to have to respond to
something like that. So it might not be, you know, physical abuse, alcoholism. It
literally could be that you're a helicopter parent that's always scared, and then your child starts
to mirror how scared you are. And they're like, should I be scared to? And then all of a sudden,
your child ends up with anxiety or OCD, right? Because they're constantly trying to recalibrate to how
you're showing up. So it's very common that these smaller under the radar, whether it's
expressions or common things that we say, these are really what actually set up our brain pattern in
the earliest stages, but we track them through historical data. So in brain pattern mapping,
we track 200 historical data points that are things that any single person could answer.
And I think this is very important because I think there is a huge flaw in narrative-based
therapy. As soon as I'm asking you to tell me a story about your life, that story is now
filtered through your brain pattern. So if I don't know what the distortion is of your brain
pattern, I actually can't correct that story back to objective truth. So we only rely on
historical data points to actually create our predictive model.
when you were talking about kids, I think as a mom, I couldn't help but think of like what I've done as, and of course now I'm like, oh crap, right? But is there something to the fact that even as children, there is the potential to misinterpret things too, right? Like we, even as kids, they're running through their own filters and they're like, so I think of the example of like, I remember telling my mom about a memory and my mom was like, that didn't happen, at least not that way, right? And so even, even.
if we somehow figured out how to do everything right as a parent, which is not an available
option for any of us, there is still the potential that they're going to interpret it differently.
Yes?
Absolutely.
I have a whole teaching on this in-break method called I Got Lost at Disneyland, and the whole
concept here is a child could have the experience of being lost at Disneyland when this is
the objective reality.
So I'll walk you through just a quick snapshot of this just to help explain how something
like this could happen, because I agree, one of the large.
inputs to our brain pattern is something that I call gaps in understanding. Because a child's
brain, they're going to try to figure it out. And they may mislabel, misdefine something. And
unfortunately, for us as adults, if that never got corrected or there wasn't an openness to discuss it
with the parents to kind of re-reconcile the data, then we're operating as if that is objective
truth for the rest of our lives when it may not in fact be. So let's all take a visual of if anyone's
ever been a Disney world, right? There's the kind of bridge that you're walking on toward the
Magic Kingdom. So imagine that you're a three-year-old and you're walking to the Magic Kingdom and
you're with your mom and there's just like a sea of people filling the bridge. But your mom sees that
you just got your eyes locked on one of your favorite characters and you start to walk over to
your favorite character. You go over to your favorite character. Mom's like, oh my God,
this is so cute. I'm going to grab my flash camera, right? We're going to put this back in the
90s. So she's fumbling for the flash camera. She can see you. But,
think about it. What is the height differential between a three-year-old and a potential adult?
Like pretty significant. So maybe mom sees over these people, I can see that you're safe and you're
talking to this, you know, you're talking to Cinderella. But let's say the child sees Cinderella and
they're like, mommy is going to be so proud of me. And you turn around and then you're like,
mom, mom, a child's perspective of time is so drastically different from an adult that what might have been
five seconds, six seconds, if it felt scary to them and like they look back and mom was gone,
they could be imprinted with the memory of being lost at Disneyland, even though the mom's like,
that never happened. I was right there. I could see you the whole time. So this is a classic
example. And I do help parents learn a new way to communicate about this with their children
because actually these sort of oppositional memories can actually really damage relationships
if they're left unresolved.
And I've seen this happen especially.
I worked at a residential therapeutic boarding school
for teen girls that had been struggling with suicide, drug addiction,
you name it.
And this was something that came up quite a bit when I taught this.
They were all standing up in their chairs.
They were like, yes, yes, you need to tell my mom this.
And I'm like, okay, I'm going to meet with your parents.
But this is something that even when a child's like 17, 18, 19, and let's be honest,
maybe even a 30-year-old,
they still have some of these underlying frustrations
where they want to go head to head with their mom
and be like, why do I think this happened
and you think it didn't?
How do we talk through this?
Because some of those unresolved issues
can lead somebody to get stuck on it
like a skip and a record
and never move on.
Okay, I have one million questions
and I just am never going to be able to ask them all
because of time.
So let me just ask this one.
If where we're placed is what it is,
I'm assuming the answer is yes,
that we can move it.
So tell us a little bit about that.
And then the second question is, is there a destination we're trying to move it to?
Like, is there a one right place or true place?
Is there a truth of the capital T place that we can arrive to?
Or how does that work?
Absolutely.
So let's visualize the spectrum again in our minds.
There's this interesting phenomenon.
Remember I described the circle of complacency, right,
which has kind of equal left and right little sections with a big circle around it.
So while the people that end up there naturally because of the way they were
parented in childhood experience life a little bit more with complacency.
They don't take a lot of risk.
There's not a lot of reward.
They may experience a life that any of us may find boring.
When those people come to break, I typically don't have them until they're empty nesters
or they got laid off from their dream job in their 50s and they don't know what to do
with themselves, right?
Because their entire identity was built around the stability that they had created.
so let's say I have a client like that unlike everybody else on the left and right sides they have to learn to take more risk and actually to put themselves out there more so other than this group everyone else we're teaching how to move toward the center this group we're actually teaching how to move slightly out to the left and right sides not the far left and right but the key here is essentially where everybody is we want to get you back to the center but we want to get you back to the center with range we don't want you to just plot
back to the center and only know how to do things one way. And I think that's really important
here. There are ways that how your childhood patterns you make you thrive at your job, right? Let's
look at that square that I talked about where all this high group of entrepreneurs are. We don't want to
suddenly change them so much that they suck at their job, right? We want to maintain the qualities
that make them good, but also give them dynamic range. So maybe they're not blowing up their intimate
relationships. So essentially, we're trying to help everybody see the distortions so that they have the
ability to go back to center, be more balanced and adaptable, but also have dynamic range so that
they can meet other people where they are. Because I think fundamentally break teaches you a much
different level of empathy for other people, because maybe on the left side, you get very frustrated
and you don't trust people on the right. Then maybe on the right, you're feeling perpetually
victimized by people on the left, right? There's this antagonism that exists between both sides.
we each need to learn empathy for each other and to understand the underlying motivations of each
so that we can adapt and meet them halfway. And I think most of us don't necessarily do that,
although one of the key qualities that I think there is this kind of commonality in that
entrepreneurial square is that they have a fairly good balance of taking care of others and
putting others first while also being able to push down or suppress their own wants and needs,
which I think makes them appear highly empathetic.
The bigger issue is that I think in the long run,
those people will burn themselves out
and they're usually lacking some self-preservation instinct as well.
But ideally, we want to be able to understand
what drives the other person
and be able to have, be able to show mercy.
I think that's a big one, right?
A lot of us, we can't show mercy.
We win, we belittle other people,
we get frustrated, our feeling of urgency
just makes us want to step in.
If you can't do it, I'll just take care of it.
so we end up either rushing or snapping when there's so much opportunity to learn and grow
and collaborate in a way that could change both parties involved if they knew what drove
the other person. Oh my God. So so good. Listener, I'm going to just give you a moment to hit
pause and go and order the book. Your brain is a filthy liar if you haven't already. I know I'm
ordering it the second we get off. And I will also let you know at busy's website, busygold.com.
we're going to put that in every other way to find and follow busy in show notes.
Thank you for, oh, my God, again, my brain is spinning.
Such an incredibly compelling conversation, fascinating, and for doing this great work.
Thank you so much.
And you can actually do brain pattern mapping on my website.
It takes about 20 minutes to go through the diagnostic,
and then it'll prompt you to book an appointment so somebody can review the diagnostic findings with you.
And we do also utilize this for corporate environment.
So if any of you actually run a business and you want to put your whole teams through this,
this is something that gives us a lot of insight on to why a certain aspect of your organization
may be thriving while another is not or why certain breakdowns are happening in either
productivity or revenue numbers. So you can certainly grab all of that on my website.
I think you're going to see an uptick and all of that. The minute this airs. Okay. Thanks again,
busy. Okay, friend, let me wrap this up by stating the obvious.
brains are already doing the most, truly. They're creating, problem solving, forming complex
thoughts, storing memories, learning new skills, and keeping your body functioning without you
having to consciously think about it. And on top all of that, they're protecting us, filtering our
reality, spinning stories, and sometimes lying straight to our face all in the name of keeping us
safe. So let's be clear. Safety isn't the same as truth, and it sure as hell isn't the same as
freedom. And we can't think our way out of it. We can't willpower our way.
into transformation, and we definitely can't grow if we keep propping up the same old stories
and avoiding the same old triggers. The good news, though, is you can change. You are not your head
trash, you are not your brain's default settings, and you are not broken. You're just running on a
program that you didn't install. But now you have access to the tools that can help you rewrite the
code. This, the work of rewiring, reclaiming, and rising. This is woman's work.
It's not just you.
News is moving faster than ever,
and I'm hoping that I can help you make sense of it all.
My name is Jamie Ploceau, and I host Canada's most popular daily news podcast.
It's called Frontburner.
We break down one story each day and talk to the reporters, the politicians, and people at the heart of it.
Our goal is to help you stay informed without feeling overwhelmed.
You can find and follow Frontburner on Spotify.
Thank you.
