This Paranormal Life - #048 Witch Doctors are Raising the Dead to Make Sugar

Episode Date: February 13, 2018

Something OR someone in Haiti is causing the dead to rise from the grave and make sugar... Is it the secret army of witch doctors roaming the streets? Or is it PayPal co-founder Elon Musk? Time for Rory and Kit to #INVESTIGATESupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are the government putting tracking devices in our water? Is military spending maybe not enough? All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life. Welcome to the podcast. I'm going to be your host for today, Rory Powers. It's a Tuesday, the most paranormal day of the week, and we're coming right here in your ear holes slamming some goddamn paranormal knowledge into your thick ass brain. I'm sorry. It was a really tough day at the office.

Yeah, you got really carried away there. It was a lot of passion. Yeah, I just, I found out my family went on holiday and they didn't invite me. Really? Yeah, it was like a 17 day cruise. That's insane. They invited me, but I was told them I was busy. That's crazy.

Yeah, they told me you were gone. They said they had a spare bed. They they said don't tell the little shit don't tell he who shall not be named we're going to disneyland roardamort um uh so welcome to the podcast where every week we look at a brand new paranormal case and by the end we will come to a conclusion whether or not is it is true it is true or it is false. We are both professional paranormal investigators. It's true. That live every day with these fake personas.

You know, I've been writing this character, games media character, for three and a bit years now. Yeah, I've been living the life of a hobo for nigh on my whole life at this point and uh you know i really just do it to keep that low profile it's very much like the movie the prestige if you've ever seen the prestige you've got to commit right you know a trick is about sacrifice yeah it turns out it's a lot about sacrifice and smoking crack. Yeah. This really helps me get into character. You know where the best ghouls are? In underpasses. Nothing's more paranormal than the streets.

All right, well, I got an absolute winner for you today, Kit. Really? Because it's a big story, you know? I assume you've heard of these types of people before, but we're going to be looking at very specific cases all right how much do you know kit about zombies zombies yeah you're gonna bring zombies to the table today yeah jesus z word zombie as they're known in their native tongue of zombini christ i thought that was their national cocktail so we don't like to dilly dally on this podcast we like to just like little spooky rabbits we'd

like to just hop in a little spooky little rabbits we like to poop little pellets of paranormal good stuff down on those little all over on those little orange sticks of paranormal veggies. It's 1962. Okay. All right. And there was a dude named, Christ, this is going to be difficult. Clairvius. Clairvius?

Clairvius Narcissi. It really sounds like I'm making this up on the spot. I'm not making this up. Okay. And he was from Schmorball Town. Shut. No, he wasn't. I'm making this up on the spot. I'm not making this up. Okay. And he was from Schmorbeltown. Shut up. No, he wasn't. I'm kidding.

He's a 40-year-old guy. Schmorbeltown. And what did he work as? He was a Schmilder. Just say builder. Just say. You don't have to make up a fictional prevention. It's not an alternate universe.

They're still builders. He made schmouses. Schmats. This is legend of Schleld all over again. This is such lame humor. He's your average guy, you know? Average Haitian. What, Clairvius is your average guy?

He's your average dude. He was the local jock, if you can imagine. He's got a big family, popular guy in the local village. Okay. And then one day, hmm, Clairvius starts feeling a little sick. Oh, God. We've all watched enough movies to see where this is going. I mean, I also did say zombie at the start of the episode.

You kind of gave the gig away. I'm going to cut that. He's got a mysterious fever. He's going a little pale, maybe a little sweaty. But sometimes fevers aren't that bad. Yeah. As we know, you get a little hot-headed sometimes. We have fevers all the time.

I call them the normal days. I mean, speak for yourself. So what's a bad day for you? Bad day? Ice cold. What? When I'm ice cold. bad day for you bad day ice cold what when i'm ice cold i wake up and i'm ice cold like pneumonia like frozen solid really i mean you do have the ac here in your room set to like minus 25 yeah 420 blast it that's what i like to do 420 is you know that's not minus that's not what 420 is about it's it's not about

inducing pneumonia in your own at negative 420 degrees uh well unfortunately this is a bit more serious for clairvius okay within a fortnight he was dead wow we went zero to 420 real quick exactly he just dropped really That's very tragic. Doctors officially marked him as deceased. And a few days later, his family held a funeral for him. As you do. As per custom. You're really like patting at art to the point that you're giving the gig away again?

They put the body in a coffin the dead body's customary uh his family put his affairs in order because he was gone and he would not be returning right from the afterlife um the coffee containing his body the coffin you mean what did i say coffee don't interrupt me even if i'm wrong the nerve the the coffin containing his body was buried under the ground how many feet look shut your goddamn mouth malvena i'm the narrator and yeah i tell a descriptive story sue me people refer me as the uh the one who wrote harry potter of the paranormal world jk rowling jk rowdy you put you smash a beer bottle obviously drunk out of your mind it's just a story about wizards getting hazed pretty goddamn hard

just a story about wizards getting hazed pretty goddamn hard jk rowdy such a great you're a wizard harry as hagrid spanked harry with a paddle and made him do a keg stand what would the book be called what are the ones are there harry potter philosopher stone chamber of secrets chamber of secrets chamber of weed rats by jk rowdy flash forward 18 years later and clairvius' sister is strolling down the road. Time has healed all wounds. She's doing all right. Yeah, moving on with her life. Suddenly, a man approaches her on the street. Uh-huh.

He looks like he might be homeless. Right. He's moving slowly. He's got a dead-eyed stare. Dead man's face. Ha! Dead little legs. Um, so she goes to walk around him.

Because she's freaked out a little bit, obviously. But that's when he says her name. Wow. Obviously, she's stunned. So she turns to get a look at the man. It's Clairvius. Jesus. Her dead brother.

Jesus Christ. He's standing. She's standing Face to face With a zombie She must be pinching herself right now This can't be real This can't be happening

I know This isn't good He doesn't look well Also he died at 40 years old So this is a 50 year old Clairvius More than 50 With his dead little zombie face And she can still tell that it's

that's her brother interesting that's beautiful in a way isn't it so he so what does he look like he looks quite decrepit i mean because after 18 years you're worm food yeah you know you're pretty worn away i think he just looks maybe maybe not maybe he's just aged and he's like worn down but i think it's more in his mannerisms kind of like moany like draggy yeah he sounds tired to say the least so the sister takes the man back to her home where he tells her and all the family what happened the day he died really so okay so he's so he's not like a a grown-in mindless zombie just yet. No, there's a couple of variations on the quote-unquote zombie look or theories and that sort of style. So today we're much more looking at the just reanimated dead. Interesting.

That comes in a couple different forms, which we can talk about. But this is very much he's of sound mind. So we're not talking about the, what is it, George Romero? No, no, no, no, no. Not today. Not today. No, we're talking about the OGs. Okay.

So Clairvius says that he was conscious the whole time, but completely immobile. Whoa, that's scary. He could even hear the cries from his family as he was officially pronounced dead. Well, that's nightmare fuel. Isn't that terrifying? That's awful. Just not being able to move while your family hear that officially pronounced dead. Well, that's nightmare fuel. Isn't that terrifying? That's awful. Just not being able to move while your family hear that you're dead? Jesus.

He couldn't even move as his coffin was being lowered into the ground. Apparently, he claims he was transformed into a zombie by a witch doctor. What? So that his whole family would think that he was dead. Then, he was dug up in the middle of the night and put to work on a sugar plantation. Whoa. Living as a zombie for 18 years. So did you tell us what country this was in?

Haiti. Yeah. I feel like that didn't come up because the sugar plantation. Yeah. Okay. That sounds far away from us right now. Yeah. Very, very far up because the sugar plantation. Yeah. Okay. That sign is far away from us right now. Yeah. Very, very far.

Okay. So Haiti. Yeah. Where's Haiti? Oh, I don't know. Jesus. I'm going to look it up. Well, I will let you know that Haiti's tourism has seen a boost in recent months.

That's not what we wanted to know. By dead-eyed little men. Haiti. Ooh. It's by, it's near the Dominican Republic, actually. I'm just imagining you looking up Haiti news and the president of Haiti is clearly a witch doctor. Economy booming.

Sugar plantation's doing great. Everyone calm. Dead? Alive? Everything's wonderful. The death rate is zero. The sugar rate is a thousand, whatever that means. He's got all of his measurements wrong. Sugar rate is DEFCON 5.

What does that mean? We have too much sugar. The dead won't stop making sugar. Birth rate, code orange. And my coffee is tired. Sir, you need to step down. tired sir you need to you need to step down i think you need to die all right obviously this sounds insane you're crazy rory you're screaming at me everyone doubts this man they doubt me right now it's true. So the family got two Haitian psychiatrists to quiz him on his family's past and history

that only the real Clairvius would know. And he passed. He got every question right. So I'm sorry, they've hired like professionals to do it? Like the family couldn't ask him those questions? That's very strange. Yeah, now that I... Now this is not the only story of people turning into zombies in Haiti.

This is where I thought you might be going. This isn't an isolated incident, so to speak. It is not. Francine Ilias was a 30-year-old woman who ran a market stall in a small town named Ennery. Okay. One day. Ooh. Starting to have a couple little digestive problems oh dear

shouldn't have eaten all that sugar the diet in haiti at the time was mostly sugar sugar puffs with sugar instead of milk yeah so okay so not looking the best maybe a couple like bags under your eyes family members are like hey you don't look so good i think you should take a nap go yeah i mean no one's worried because apparently no one dies in haiti yeah so you know you're not you're not too worried um but very soon she dies wow she died just like clairvius jesus and is buried in 1976 only three years later a woman was seen wandering through the streets of Ennery, mindlessly mumbling as she walked. Suddenly, a crowd began to gather.

It was Francine! Of course! The same woman who was officially declared dead by doctors three years ago. Is it possible these doctors are shitty? Because that's two people. They said it was dead, who came back and was like yeah i never died now obviously everyone is incredibly freaked out and different uh to the last case francine can't give any explanations as to where she's been all these years right that's interesting the family are freaked out and they think maybe this is a con

because it could be you know right you just want a lookalike? Woman shows up, looks like your daughter. It's like, mama, papa, I'm home now. Can I have some money? Need inheritance. Yeah, exactly. So they think it could be a con. The only way that they can find out

if their daughter is really dead is if they dig up the body. Right, no shit. Because then they'll be able to find out if they actually did bury their daughter. Or, I mean, that's going to be pretty grim if it turns out it is a con. They go to dig up.

They dig up the coffin. Jesus. But when they open it, they discover it's full of rocks. What? The coffin was full of rocks. Why?

Zombies. Why rocks? There must have been like a switcheroo. So, so, so, because I guess once the body goes in, you don't really,

like in some types of funerals, you don't open the coffin at that point. Yeah. You just carry it, bury it. You assume the body's in there. Or the sneakster had like Mount Rushmore style carved the face just perfectly we're like ah it's weird to think that's what we all look like when we die gravel snowman

we turn to stone punch my mic is laughing so hard jesus so what the f is going on here this is all very confusing you've got these witch doctors yeah which by the way is the most terrifying profession of all time i mean so you have a witch with a phd a witch smart enough to know magic A witch that gets the right prescriptions. Yeah. A witch with a stethoscope, that's just bad. I mean, the doctors in this case, in this particular part of

Haiti in the 70s, is that right? The doctors here, we've proven are demonstrably bad doctors. Very bad doctors. So the idea of having witch doctors as the alternative. Imagine if the NHS was run by witches. Imagine how terrifying that would be.

You're waiting in A&E for like a couple hours to get seen by a witch. Goddamn witch doctor. Like calling an ambulance and just brooms like all over the place. It's like, help on! I actually broke my hip. That's the injury. So I don't think I'm going to ride a plank of wood to a hospital that I know is five miles away.

She breaks your other hip with a spell. Oh, get on! Ah! The prescription for every injury is like, drink the eye of newt and milk of toad. Where will I even buy this shit even the whole foods does not sell this shit i brought this to boots i brought this prescription scroll to boots they looked at me weird guys now again you would hope that these type of cases would be so rare

that no one would ever have to worry about them. Right. Right? You know, because we have- Please don't tell me I have to worry about this. And that's what I'm saying. We already have a lot on. Without this shit happening.

Without having to worry that you might be turned into a zombie by a witch doctor. You know, these days, you know, there's a very materialistic view of death that whenever you die these days, people sort of believe the lights go out and you go to sleepy time forever. Yeah. There is some comfort in that, that, you know, maybe at the end of a rich life, you do get to go to sleep for a long time. Yeah. And maybe that the afterlife is maybe relaxing if there is an afterlife. Chilling up in the clouds, having a beer with Ra. Absolutely, that's what I'm saying.

An icy cold one. An ice cold Lombardi with the bird god himself. That's what I dream of. But this, you know, this kind of rocks the whole model because this sort of says, you know, you have a long life, you have a hard life. And then someday a witch doctor comes along and um well it never ends it is kind of like the ultimate you you know work hard your your whole life earn the rewards and then people are like i i'll either just have the big nap now to the end of time or you know go up to see big mr g up in heaven and hang out with that guy

it's like nope you're being brought to life to make sugar make sugar for 18 solid years yeah oh god i know like what a retirement but as i said you would think that we don't have to worry about something like that from happening and you'd hope that that there's so few cases that they wouldn't have to worry about it either but this whole quote-unquote zombie epidemic became so feared that it even had to be listed as a crime in haiti really that's how frequent the code of law exactly they really had to what to not turn someone into a zombie yeah okay was actually written as law. Interesting. Public fear peaked during the oppressive rule of the president, nicknamed... Mystic Meg.

I mean, it's still mental. Nicknamed Papa Doc. Oh, dear. He really was? Middle name Witch Doc. The title name, Witch Doc. Between 1957 and 1971, the local people believed that Papa Doc had a secret police force of powerful sorcerers.

Jesus. That if you dared stand in the way of his regime, they would kill you and then raise you to roam the world as a zombie. For sure, do not democratically elect someone whose name is Papa, who starts with Papa. We kind of covered this in the Polybius episode. You know, a guy called, you know, Big Anything, especially Big Daddy. Yeah. Don't let him near anyone, children especially.

Yeah. I mean, to a position of power papa witch doc like how like what what did the competition look like i don't know i love the idea as well that like the only thing that could halt this undead army of sugar farmers is for people to stop buying like sweets and it's like that's just not gonna happen it's like the whole thing where it's like yeah we can uh like almost stop global warming if everyone just stops eating meat yeah and it's like all right nerd i'll see you in hell asshole yeah it's jumping on chicken wings um so unfortunately what i think i've done by telling this story is accidentally scare the crap out of our audience because i've just introduced them to a new fear

they probably didn't even know was real so i'm gonna i'm gonna help you out guys i'm going to tell you guys how you can reverse zombification oh really bet you didn't know that was a thing did you i'll tell you i've been looking at SoundCloud analytics. We've got a big Haitian audience. I'd say a good chunk of that is zombified. Well, perk your ears up, boys, because this is going to be some hardcore evidence. Now, usually, as I said, we would charge for this kind of high-level info

that we personally have spent our lives researching. This is some third trimester harvard paranormal shit yeah okay you know if you go to mip it's like mit but for the paranormal this is the shit that the professors tell you after hours in the basement which yes was just the basement of a regular college where a guy charged me six thousand dollars for this particular but the way i look at it is one less zombie in the world is better for me too anyway so yeah it's true one one less chance of being turned into one of these guys exactly when you become a zombie okay the person that turned you is called a bokor a bokor okay bokor

that's a fun which is it i don't know those who are turned are typically considered to be doomed forever but there are ways to break the bokor's control right okay and it's actually pretty easy in some cases if the bokor dies the zombification can be reversed i mean it's just like a straightforward your captor dies the spell's broken that sort of vibe it's also said that feeding a zombie salt can sometimes reverse the effects of the curse so the most now you can see why they're only farming sugar. They only have a taste for sugar. Additionally, if a zombie sees the ocean, it's said that they can shake loose the bakor's control.

What the hell? These are so simple. How is that guy stuck for 18 years? He didn't even try. And also, obviously, you can be set free through divine intervention as well. Oh, okay. So if God's got your back. Prayers, priests. There is a vast realm of difference between killing your captor, getting God to help you, and eating salt.

Now, we've talked about the paranormal side of this. But what about the logical side? I'm not a fan of this. Look, we're professionals. We got to do both sides. It's part of the job. I know. I know.

I know. And you know who else is good at this job? Wade Davis. Okay. And he's a Harvard anthropologist and exotic plant expert. I get you. Scooby-dooby-doo, dooby-dooby-doo. We clearly have no idea how to smoke a joint.

So, Zyke, if you tap in my eye, catch my drift. I'm doing that thing where I, like, tap my throat. Like, exotic plant expert. Auga, auga. tap my throat like exotic plant uh expert why why is it and like why was that in the old cartoons like that was sex was like the hip thrusting thing i don't know why i can't think of a less sexy noise right now it's such an old-timey thing it's like what's more sexier than a great big honking horn of a new ford like before we had like the like uh not like the combustion engine um you know and now like fast and furious like vin diesel revs his car and all the girls are like, ooh. Back in, like, turn of the century, a guy with a monocle would turn and wink at some girls in a street corner. Ahooga, ahooga.

Evening, ladies. Ahooga. He's making the noise himself. Ahooga. Ahooga. Now, Wade Davis had heard legends of the voodoo and zombies coming from Haiti. So he decided

to visit in the early 80s. Now, this is a man of science. He wanted to get to the bottom of this, the bare naked ass of it. If it means slaying a few buckwhores along the way, or eating a bit of flesh, he would do whatever it takes.

Jesus, man. So Wade Davis met with a local sorcerer. Not a good idea. Bad place to start. He's going to turn you into a zombie. Bad start. I have established this man as a scientist. And the way he starts his journey is by meeting with a local sorcerer.

You've lost all your credibility from the second you do that. The sorcerer gave him a recipe for zombie powder. Okay. Alright. The ingredients are actually pretty damn grim. Really? Allegedly they included

the crushed skull of a baby, a dead toad wrapped in dried sea worm but the most potent element came from a puffer fish that contains a nerve poison called tetrodotoxin i'm starting to think you could skip the baby skull that there's like you know a zombie poison light kind of like diet coke yeah it's like you don't really need to think you could skip the baby skull. That there's like, you know, a zombie poison light. Kind of like Diet Coke. Yeah, it's like you don't really need that. You could probably skip the toad thing as well. Honestly, just eat the puffer fish.

Yeah, it's pretty much the main ingredient. It's literal poison. Like, you know when you go to those fancy restaurants and it's like, Oh, sir, here's your, you know, your beautiful sirloin steak. Your filet mignon. And just to top it off, we added a little bit of grass on it. We sprinkled some grass or some like, there's a plum on a plate as well. You know, just unnecessary stuff.

Or like, here's some goddamn vegetables. This is you in a restaurant. Here's some potatoes. It's like, I'm sorry, sir. There seems to be grass on my plate. It's like, sir sir that is a caesar salad you actually ordered that i ordered caesar's salad which i assume was meat as a king he wasn't a king i assume is the flesh of the innocent this wine is shit take it back it tastes fruity so wine is it's made of fruit i thought it was made from

the blood of the innocent why do you want everything to be from the innocent you give a baby skull pendant the guilty are dirty your tinder date is like this is insane i'm out of here it's like going to like a seafood restaurant where you can like pick the lobster and sitting watching which one is the most innocent i'll have the baby he's like you can't he's literally an inch big you will not enjoy this meal he is the most innocent uh so this this toxin okay uh could essentially lower a victim's metabolic rate almost to the point of death jesus man now this is interesting because in japan there had actually been a case of a man who ate the fish yeah quote unquote died after eating it

but regained consciousness seven days later in a morgue wow isn't that crazy that's insane another victim allegedly woke up soon after he was nailed into his coffin jesus man because isn't that the thing they like eat that fish in japan isn't that the simpsons episode i think so they've got to learn how to cut the puffer fish yeah yeah um so davis tried the zombie powder on some lab rats oh okay as a science science dude uh and within six hours the animals appeared dead with the faintest of heartbeats they were farming sugar inexplicably six hours later the rats were eating rats they had little dead no i'm making that up okay just to be clear they wanted nothing to do with cheese papa rat was governing the other rats uh so after all this research

davis thought that's what was happening yeah these witch doctors were poisoning people with zombie powder then they were being removed from their graves and put into labor continuing to be zombified by consuming a plant known as the zombie cucumber wow which i think is just another kind of plant you can eat that kind of just nullifies brain activity and things like that it's pretty grim like the truth behind it is probably pretty grim um now that's a pretty elaborate theory but i guess it's probably a little bit more realistic than raising the dead yeah uh so he writes it up in his book called the serpent and the rainbow okay uh which i think is actually turned into a zombie movie now yeah like a total fiction movie um but the book was released and davis was torn apart by his fellow researchers they basically

said you're a moron there are so many holes in your theory really uh so for example the samples that he analyzed didn't contain anywhere near like the amount used to actually take effect on humans right so it had effect on the rats you would need a lot more interesting than the doses that were being given in these quote-unquote zombie powders and also the amount of poison required to put a human in a comatose state and keep them at that level yeah was so specific and relative to individual humans yeah that it would be very hard not to just kill them yeah yeah unless you know i mean we're seeing people who are literally crushing up frogs and wrapping them in sea worms yeah i don't think they are literally measuring out the exact exactly but obviously davis was pissed yeah he got so sick of defending himself from all the abuse

and the accusations the academic world was hurtling at him 3.5 stars in goodreads that he knew that there was only one thing that he could do he ingested a dose of the zombie powder. Shut up. Using himself as a human guinea pig to prove what would happen. But the dosage was wrong. Of course.

And nothing happened. Like his peers said. Really? Nothing happened. He just gave himself too little, I guess. Which is the ultimate like coward move trying to prove everyone that you're right but you take such a small amount because you're scared of dying he like he like wrote a will like said goodbye to his wife took this pill and then five

minutes later he's like i never loved you baby he's like shot of this puffer fish. He's like very lucidly watching her like drive out of the driveway into the distance. Like, ah, fuck. I really thought I'd be a zombie by now. And in hindsight, that'd be pretty shitty, too. I didn't think this one through. At least I had the balls to give it a try. Well, even with

all of this madness, these events took place 30 to 40 years ago. Alright, so, you know, we don't have to worry about zombies. Any dead people, risen from the dead, who become undead would be dead by now. Right, sir?

But if that were the case, kid, then why? Why? Last week, we're taking a real curveball here. What have you done here? Did PayPal co-founder Elon Musk sell $10 million worth of flamethrowers to the UK?

Hmm? So, you know... I'm bringing it all i you know i'm very insured with the way you think but would you like to illuminate the listeners what your train of thought is here i i will elaborate on the story because you thought this case was dead but i've reanimated the little bitch please explain i mean i didn't stutter did i elon musk we got the paypal 10 million dollars co-founder elon spacex smart man tesla we all know him he sold 10 million dollars worth of flamethrowers to the uk that's 20 000 flamethrowers okay and he said this is a quote from him you're stalling quote unquote

when the zombie apocalypse happens you'll be glad you bought a flamethrower uh-huh works against hordes of the undead or your money back now some people will think of that as like a little comic jab you know right at the the undead rising up and taking over the world but then this is where the conspiracy kicks in okay out of nowhere unprompted elon musk tweeted quote unquote the rumor that i'm secretly creating a zombie apocalypse to generate demand for flamethrowers is completely false you'd need millions of zombies for a so-called apocalypse anyway where would i even get a factory big enough to make so many but what we've established kit in this podcast is that it

doesn't take a factory to make a zombie all you need is a little bit of puffer fish i think we've established that wasn't the case i think you you you said that was a theory and then it was pretty effectively disproven, actually. I think Papa Doc would disagree. Papa Doc and his secret militia. So my question to you, Kit, plain and simple, is Elon Musk actually a Haitian witch doctor? No. I rest my case.

Court adjourned. Thank you and good night so thoughts i can see that wasn't going where you thought it was going to go yeah that whole elon musk bit was a bit of a flashbang i'm feeling very disoriented this is the conspiracy you know that's happening right in front of our eyes we're seeing a man one of the smartest and um quite possibly you know well-funded men in the world and he is essentially you know i don't want to i don't want to make any claims here because as a paranormal investigator my word is gossip wait gospel my word is not gossip i'm fighting with myself. He's essentially, he's creating the demand for the supply. He's making zombies to make people buy his flamethrowers.

Elon Musk is a billionaire. Yeah. He privately- And how'd you think he got that money? By creating PayPal. Sugar, baby. By- Sugar.

by creating paypal sugar baby sugar uh he owns a private space company um he wipes his ass with 10 million dollars is what i'm trying to say dead little ass you're like sorry do you think now he's a zombie? I think it's all like, you keep saying that. I think that what's happened here is this all happened a very long time ago and you didn't really have a point to end on. So I'm sorry. Google searched zombie 2017 slash 2018. What? And this was maybe the first result.

Or maybe this came up in your Twitter timeline, and that's how it's made it into the episode. I find this so insulting to me as a person, as a living person. Okay, well, look, I can tell you're having problems with the Elon Musk curveball. Let's put that one aside for now. For now.

The Haitian zombies. The stories of what's going on here. What's your vibe? What are you thinking? this is very interesting uh i'll tell you i'd heard a little bit about this haitian zombie thing yeah uh i really thought that there was a widely accepted kind of organic chemistry basis for this that someone ingested a poison some sort of neurotoxin that caused some sort of shutdown in the brain that caused them to go into a kind of semi-catatonic state in which they um lose consciousness that is very very interesting to hear that um davis's peers were not pleased

yeah because when i was when i was reading about that i was kind of i thought oh okay well here's the obviously the scientific explanation. And then there's like, speaking of curveballs, then it just turns out that everyone was just very dismissive about it. And they just don't think that's the case at all. No. That doesn't mean that Davis was just wrong about those ingredients or how it was being administered. those ingredients or how it was being administered um it could still very much and i possibly think it definitely is some sort of like horrible slave trading drugging situation going on there yes um but maybe he was just wrong about the specifics of it like without getting too grim but yeah we

know like you know there's there's like the trafficking industry and things like that it's not hard for people to drug other people and laud control over them. One thing I thought was kind of interesting is the idea of these witch doctors making concoctions. And as you say, they're not measuring out. They don't have like milligram specific scales. scales. But, you know, there are today compounds made by

shamanic tribes. Tribes that don't have contact with scientific civilization, that have discovered treatments, medicines, things like that, that have eluded science to this day.

Take something like ayahuasca in the Amazon jungle, and this is a combination of plants that create this ultra-powerful drug. And if you think of the Amazon jungle, there are so many millions of species of plant. And animals. So researchers, whenever they went to these tribes jungle there are so many millions of species of plant and and animals so researchers whenever they went to these tribes and they're making up this concoction um of ayahuasca and they were like so how did you know which plants to combine and they were like oh the plants told us okay what

do you mean the plants told you and they're like yeah it's like yeah the plants just told us they were like yeah pick me mix me with this one and they and they like and and and whenever they do the like chemical breakdown of what's happening it's incredibly complex uh in the body but um yeah it was something they kind of knew intuitively so it's kind of interesting to think are these witch doctors really you know maybe more in the know than kind of we we we assume that they well they can speak to goddamn trees apparently that's pretty advanced yeah they can fly around on brooms they've got little black cats that sit on the brooms yeah so that's pretty cool you you could be right there

with that one uh what do you make of this case being in the chief investigator on it uh it's annoying that um wade davis's research was a bit of a dud because um i think as i said i think the explanation is probably right yeah but the specifics are wrong yeah um in the sense that it's not magic no it's literally uh very illegal bad things happening yeah slave trading drugging someone yeah tricking everyone thinking they're dead yeah and then somehow i guess just keeping them under the influence although 18 years 18 years is a bit that seems improbable i feel like i didn't like his family very much like and there's bits yeah yeah there's some stories that I left out that were, like, a bit creepier.

Like, apparently someone who I think was, like, a journalist or someone went to Haiti and was essentially taken to one of these, like, quote-unquote zombie farms. Yeah. Where all the workers are essentially just these, like, dead-eyed, mindless, kind of, like, drone kind of people. Yeah. And I was like, welleyed mindless kind of like drone kind of uh people yeah and i

was like well that's kind of weird and creepy and i'm not exactly sure what's going on there um that's very disturbing but i didn't have enough evidence or anything really to conclude that it was anything other than just sneaky drugging yeah and also like these are like real live zombies there's nothing happening in this that's very paranormal yeah because these people were tricked into convincing other people that they were dead yeah they didn't actually burst out of the ground you know they're rotting flesh reanimated you know these are just people that were kind of tricked and manipulated yeah kind of abducted in a way yeah that's true so it sounds like we're coming

down on a is this paranormal no no it's not paranormal but if the question is do haitian zombies exist yes that's pretty cool that's a yes because that very specific type of zombie does exist like it's zombies are real yeah in this case yeah i'll go on record all right and then obviously the elon musk one the important one so we got that thank you for tuning in i just don't want this week uh if you want to send in your own zombie anecdotes you can do that to probably bring this paranormal life it's worth shut the f**k up shut up sorry i just this paranormal life. It's worth mentioning. Shut the f*** up!

Shut up! Sorry, I just... You just don't know when to let it lie, do you? Just Elon Musk is taking over is all I'm saying. We've got Tesla. We've got SpaceX. What's next?

Space Z? Guess what the Z's for? F***ing zombies. Guess what's in the space? Rocks, because they've stolen bodies and turned them into zombies i'm gonna go ahead and assume you don't think elon musk is creating a zombie apocalypse to fuel his supply uh and demand for flamethrowers no that's a no unfortunately you know i'm gonna i'm gonna say yes to that really no that's a no it's very small of you actually because i can see in your eyes you don't believe it either

so that's a no and a yes on uh today's episode of this paranormal life coming down shutting the uh the old book down on the case of the haitian zombies very spooky i hope you guys enjoyed that one um thank you so much. We're going to be back next week with a brand new paranormal podcast. But if you want to get in touch with us, you can find us at Twitter on at thisparalife. We're on Facebook at thisparanormallife. And we also have our secret society. Every week we get people from around the globe.

Sleeper cells, lab escape mutants, you know, all these other people from all these secret organizations coming together in a Facebook group to try and bring down Elon Musk and the government. And, you know, it just warms my little dead heart to see all you guys banded together. And, you know, we talked a little bit last podcast about edward snowden i'm just gonna let you know right now you know we said snowden's everywhere there is one place on the internet there's one place in the world where snowden has no power his he has no control yeah and that is our secret societies because it's in the name it says secret society right there he can't get in he can't get in he tried he tried once right and we denied him because he changed his name to edward rainden yeah i thought i wouldn't notice and i was like you tricky little i went don't decline yeah one time he just he just did ed

you know instead of edward and i thought we wouldn't even notice i actually added him was that him oh fuck i added ed shit ed snow Yeah. He's actually coming to my fricking barbecue this weekend. I actually made him a mod. Yeah. He's got posting authority. He's been liking a lot of pics of my girlfriend. He's trying to sell me Ray-Bans. So absolutely you should check that out.

If you want to just hang out with people, listen to the podcast and talk about the episodes. It's awesome. If you want to support the show, go that extra mile. You can go on Patreon and check out the This Paranormal Life Patreon, where from as little as $2 a month, you can get a bunch of crazy stuff. We're talking our classified research notes, bonus episodes, t-shirts, all this crazy stuff. You should definitely go check it out. And it helps us you know make more of these episodes which is also awesome and speaking of bonus episodes we're going to give you guys a little taster for what those episodes are actually like so you can just see what you're missing out on all right because there's a lot of paranormal knowledge that goes into these episodes

that you guys are missing out on so check it out well then no one knows what they do yet i don't really no one knows uh-huh but i think it's to prove that aliens are real. Okay. How did you gather that? To the stars, obviously. Who lives on a star? Well, I was going to say, it could just be space exploration, but... Huh?

What do you think NASA do? I mean, it stands for National Aeronautics... F***. You're right. Space Agency. Something like that. I think it stands for Need Aliens, Stat, Asshole. I think it's pretty clear what their mission is.

Why is their company name rude? Why does it have to be so grumpy what shows the urgency that shows you they're not around why do they need aliens as well if they're a company that has to prove to aliens are real the best way to prove it is to find an alien, asshole. It's like calling a private investigator's office, like, where the f*** are you, incorporated or something. Kind of works. It's really on the nose. And now we would like to take the opportunity to specifically thank some of our Patreon sponsors.

So a huge thank you to paul stankowski brackets scud scud yeah that is a cool rap name yeah scud mc scud thank you papa scud thank you to george. George Wyatt, quiet! Why are you being so loud all the time, George? Are you excited about the paranormal? I hope so. Thank you to Ryan Mills. Ryan owns a Mills.

He makes bread, he makes wool, and he's a great soldier, I'll tell you that much for free. He's a shepherd of men and a sheep of cows. Wow. Christopher puts... Christopher puts me in my place. Whenever I get too big, Christopher really just... He puts me down. He's more of an enemy, really, than Christopher.

Thank you to NotTheMothman. There's something a bit suspicious about that one. I don't know how I feel about that. It actually looks like he's freaking drained our Patreon account. Thank you to Asahail. It is just hailing down love and appreciation right now. A little too heavy because it hurts my face. Thank you, Mark Farmer.

Mark, you're not close to being a farmer. Everyone knows you're a city slicker You're a millennial You're one of us city boys The farm and life isn't for you So I'm gonna call you Mark City Coward Instead

I have blessed you with a new name Very rude CW Wait, City Coward is CC blessed you with a new name very rude cw uh wait city coward is cc i'm gonna call you cc uh lydia joy marin lydia was actually um on my my she was on my team when i was first hunting uh for sasquatch out in the woods yeah shit we came up empty-handed um she actually took off in the night with a lot of the gear oh yeah wow but um it's good to see that the the guilt has finally caught up with her and she's given given some of it back yeah so thank you lydia she's actually

donated um yeah some uh like waterproof overalls those are mine mine. Yeah. Anything else? No. That's all? No. Wow, she stole so much more. That is a drop in a very large bucket to which she also stole my bucket. My piss bucket. Which I was gonna splash

in the Sasquatch's eyes when the beast showed up. I didn't have a piss bucket to throw at him got scarred Lydia that's God shows up you turn round to find your bucket ASAP it's not there oh I just piss startling thing about it thank you to Ruth Haslet. Ruth Haslet me down. Not. You let me up, Ruth.

To the roof. Rick Von Box. Rick, sometimes people want to put you in a Von Box. And, you know, you got to just say to those guys, F*** off. I'm thinking outside the Von Box for once. Don't try to Von Box me in. John Lucas. John Lucas.

John Lucas. It's like John Williams and George Lucas had a little baby. It is a bit. Shat it out. What? And here we are. Like how babies are born. We have to move on.

Otherwise, we'll be here all night. Look, don't patronize me, all right? I know what happens. Molly McElligot. Look, don't patronize me, alright? I know what happens. Molly McEligot. Molly, you've hella got good style because you listen to the best goddamn paranormal

podcast on iTunes. And I can appreciate that. Simon Penny! Simon, you've given us a pretty penny to help support the show. We are immensely grateful. We are immensely grateful. We are forever in your debt. I'll kiss your ring fingers

like the royalty you are. I will steal the jewels in the process. Edward Han. Edward, I gotta give you a han. I really gotta han it to you, honestly. Because, you know,

you could choose to support anyone on Patreon and you picked these two professionals. But obviously, as you know, that podcasting is a poor man's game. Paranormal Investigating is a liar's game. And we are both poor liars. So thank you so much for supporting us. And lastly, but not leastly, thank you so much for supporting us and lastly but not leastly thank you to ella young

ella young i remember when i was first starting out on this business and i was hella young and uh and ella was there for me she really showed me the ropes yeah it was good yeah it was good well thank you to everyone that has pledged on Patreon thus far like I said before for those of you who haven't heard your shoutouts just yet they are coming

don't you worry they're coming every week we're bringing those shoutouts to you so thank you for tuning in this time hope you enjoyed the episode we will see you next Tuesday bye bye See you next Tuesday. Bye-bye.