This Paranormal Life - #096 The Mysterious Moving Coffins of Barbados

Episode Date: January 16, 2019

When the wealthy Chase family purchased a vault to store their dead, they had no idea what horrible fate would behold the coffins they locked inside those walls...Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens when you kill the Grim Reaper? Who comes to take him away? Can grown humans eat baby food? All these questions you can find the answer to on this Paranormal Life! Hey! Welcome back everyone to your favorite day of the week, your favorite paranormal podcast, scratch that, just podcast. Scratch that, your favorite thing. I'm your host for this week, Rory P-P-P-Powers, joined by my paranormal co-host, Kit Greer. Thanks. Glad to be here. Glad to be here. Absolute pleasure to have you in the studio today, Kit. Thank you for coming in. Always a pleasure when you're around just to, you know, just hang out and see you and stuff. It's good. I miss you sometimes, man. We should do more than this show together.

We should like start a business or something yeah i mean i feel like we see each other all the time we could we could make like candles or something and sell them really i feel this is already like quite a thing well don't there's a lot of time right you're not into the candles idea well don't be too judgmental the candles because it was the first the first idea that i came up with so yeah it's not all going to be gold or what it was like something else we could do soap we will make this is all wax based products all if the candles don't work down you melt them into soap it's called recycling use the wax again keep bees and make more bees like breed some sort of bee army it's just a badass just like yeah in case the podcast goes downhill we've always got the bees they got out the bees got out

i thought you said this is a business idea i was pitching it to you to help you control the bees one man cannot control the horde i I just walk into the studio. It's like, Kip, for the love of God, tell me you have experience with bees. What? You show up with handfuls of candles. What? You're covered in stings. I thought we were doing the first one. Welcome to the podcast.

If you couldn't tell by now, this is a paranormal podcast. That's right. Where every week, myself and Kit kid greer who are professional paranormal investigators will look into a case uh either that we have found on our own or have emailed into us by the paranormal commune uh this week we actually have a submission from the paranormal commune is that right so this week's story comes from a listener called devin maxwell oh thanks devin now one thing i like about devin is he he he introduced himself as devin maxwell his email was devin faris and he signed off with devin adelaide a true member of the paranormal nation listen if you if you're signing emails with your real name

you're a idiot you might as well paint a target on your forehead you're if you're signing emails with your real name you're a idiot you might as well paint a target on your forehead you're gone you're not gonna last a week obama is gonna drone strike you into the next century and you think obama's his real name hell no he's smart enough to change it that's chad barack chad uh he emailed in saying that we should investigate a little case called the Chase family vaults. Okay. Now, it's one that I had actually seen and I thought about doing on the podcast a couple of times, but I hadn't really got around to it. So this was kind of a...

I wasn't desperate yet. Yeah. And here we are. Devin slash Devin Farris slash Devin Adelaide has given me a little kick in the ass. Yeah. To bring this case to the people because it's a great story. Let's dive right in. No more rambling. Our story this week takes us to Barbados

in the early 1800s and revolves around a family vault used to store the coffins of the deceased members of the Chase family tree. That's not good. Now, the Chase family lived in Barbados and they've got kind of a rough history of the chase family tree it's not good now the chase family lived in barbados and they've got kind of a rough history in the area go on they they were not popular among the locals okay they were incredibly rich known for manipulating people and worst off they were

known to beat their slaves and staff. Bad enough if you have slaves. Yeah. That's already frowned upon by society. But then go as far as not even be nice to them. Yeah. Beat the shit out of them. It's a whole nother level. It's pretty dark.

There's also, whenever you say Barbados a couple hundred years ago and someone owns a vault, that's usually not because they run like a charity some sort of peace organization no they're not like a academic or someone who's benefiting society it usually means they are uh like you say manipulating people absolutely anyone that needs a room underground to store their dead you've thought too much about this just put them in a box you've got more money than so what kind of zombie ancestors need to be kept in a vault margaret died the other week unfortunately she's still a bit walkie so uh need to get her down there before the moon is full they were known to beat their slaves and in fact when it came time

to find a vault where the coffins of the family would be placed instead of building their own vault they just found a nice one owned by some other family and bought it off them okay that's that's how rich we're talking here yeah buying the tombs of other families just being like piss off get your dead out of here by sunrise the vault they had bought was a beaut it was located on a hilltop overlooking the beautiful caribbean perfect place for the family to rest yes it was being battered by the sea non-stop yes island storms would occasionally hit the cliffs and occasionally dig up all the bodies and animate them but the vault was sturdy and strong like a nuclear bunker i don't think i've is this a thing i've never heard of a vault

oh yeah bad people so yeah i just realized i'm not really describing what this is we're talking about like uh it would be like steps down to a giant sort of like gate or marble slab that would block an entrance. Wow. And once inside, you would have essentially like a giant stone room underground. Yeah, like ancient Egyptian style. You could just place the coffins inside. It's a little nicer than burying them. Okay.

You could like go visit the family vault, you know, like put more members in there so everyone is dead together. Interesting. It's kind of a nice sentiment, I guess. I guess. And to protect the members who resided inside the vault, a huge marble slab was placed to block the door. So you're in there for good. Until like Tomb Raider or Indiana Jones comes along. Like someone's gonna raid that tomb.

Well, you gotta. If you create a tomb, you're asking for it to be raided. That's the problem obviously as well if you build a tomb you're obliged to install a secret passageway of some sort that's right whenever you find a builder to commission um you know this tomb to you know you're going to write the plans write the blueprints for how you want the tomb to look very beautiful very secure and then you know he's going to be like yeah that's great we'll knock this thing up for you in a couple weeks. And then he finishes it.

And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why is this bill for this tomb like twice as high as it should be? He's like, well, we did the booby traps to ancient curses. Well, no one said anything about booby traps. You can't have a tomb without the booby traps. That's built into the cost of the damn thing. You like get them to do your living room in your house

and you're like, so we installed the new carpets, the walls have been repainted. Over there you got the bookcase. Pull this one leads to the secret passage. What? What do you mean? What do you mean?

Why do you want a bookcase if you're not going to have a little staircase around the back of it? What's even down there? Torture dungeon? You can't have a mansion without a torture dungeon! I told you that we were having a child, this place needs to be safe. It is safe!

Your enemies are being tortured! Well as we said, this was the early 1800s, so it wasn't long before someone died. James Elliot Chase passed away and his body was placed in a coffin and placed inside the vault the only problem was inside the vault was another woman from a different family who had been killed and placed in there right so let me get this straight so they bought the vault off an other family yeah with bodies intact but didn't evict the bodies obviously so now you've got multiple families in there i think so i read a couple different sources to try and figure out if they removed this other body from the vault or kept it in there and i couldn't find any

definitive answer i mean these don't seem like the kind of people that are going to share a vault yeah i i'm starting to think that they were put in the trash. Yeah. If anything. That's a binned coffin right there. So they went ahead with the burial process. James Elliot Chase was placed in a huge iron coffin. Yeah.

Wait, is it iron? It might be lead. Lead? I think it was a lead-based iron plated coffin it was heavy as shit all right these guys aren't going to heaven all right and they don't need to fly if anything they're going down and decorated the top of it with boulders the coffin was so heavy that it required a number of strongmen in order to even carry it. A number of strongmen?

Yes. Christ alive. Normally at a funeral, maybe members of the family very emotionally carry the coffin. Oh, yeah. Whereas here they have like six of the world's strongest men. Basically the WWE cast carrying your coffin down to the tomb. They wanted to get their money's worth. So they actually like suplexed James Elliott into the coffin, sealed it up, marched him all the way down to the vault.

And it was so distasteful. He was like a bony old 90 year old skeleton. He basically exploded. Into dust. basically exploded on impact um so they put all the pieces into the coffin sealed it up into the into the stone vault and everything's done he's he's in the vault now there's shambles this one he's in the vault all right time passed and once again because we're in the early 1800s people in this family are dropping like flies a few months after his death he was joined by the body of a newborn baby who died suddenly after birth that's awful and later another member of

the family named dorcas chase dorcas you're. I knew you were going to bring this up. I mean, we're painting such a picture for this family. They are assholes. Yeah. They're rich as all hell. Yeah. They call their children Dorcas. They were both placed in the same heavy ass coffins.

Three family members dead. And this was only the beginning for the Chase family. Turns out money and power don't make you that happy. Following the death of his daughter, Dorcas, Thomas Chase- Is a daughter called Dorcas? The daughter was called Dorcas. It wasn't even a boy? Christ alive.

Thomas Chase, the father, killed himself. This is tragic. Yeah, they're not actually having that great a time. Were they ever having- We don't know that they were ever having a great time to begin with yeah it sounds like they might have just been angry and rich yeah rather than like actually enjoying it thomas chase killed himself and was the next family member to be added to the vault so they stuck him in a coffin brought him to the vault but when they moved the marble slab and peered inside they were. The three coffins inside had been violently tossed around the vault.

Whoa. Dorcas Chase's coffin had been turned upside down and looked like it had just been thrown against the wall. Damn. Despite this, however, none of the coffins appeared

to have been even opened. Yeah, just pushed over, kind of thrown around. Yeah, thrown around. There was no evidence of any humans tampering with the sealed vault. And none of the other vaults in the cemetery had been affected. So they had no idea how this could even happen. Because remember, these are heavy, heavy coffins.

It is not an easy task to pick one of these things up and even place it against a wall, let alone chuck it. Yeah. One of the interesting things to know is that the other vaults in the cemetery hadn't been affected, which meant investigators knew that it wasn't an earthquake that had displaced them, or the popular theory, a flood. That makes a lot of sense.

Because if the water had maybe flooded the vaults, lifted the coffins up, then drained out, they would have been misplaced around. Water is, a lot of people don't know that, but water is actually super strong. And it's actually pretty freaking wet. It actually legit is. So those two explanations have been essentially ruled out by investigators. Right.

The family didn't seem that concerned at the time. So they merely placed the coffins back in their original places with thomas chase now added to the vault yeah granted a bit spooky that things can get thrown around but ultimately these folks are dead the coffins weren't even opened no biggie put them back in place exactly happen again exactly in 1816 th Brewster, another member of the family, would pass away and be allocated a slot in the Chase family vault. Right. When they opened the entrance up to place his body inside, they found the vault completely f***ed up again. Jesus.

Each coffin had been haphazardly chucked around the inside. But again, none of them had been broken into. Wow. inside but again none of them had been broken into wow as soon as this happened a second time the town started to talk and everyone started to speculate was this a family curse the spirits of the slaves seeking revenge on the family they were dicks have the ghosts of the people that they were assholes to come back to chuck their coffins about yeah i don't know a lot about ghost strength. I was under the impression that ghosts had issues interacting with materials in the living world. But then I feel like in lots of like paranormal style movies, whenever they do put the pedal to the metal, you know, they usually just like toss a grown man across a room, don't they?

Yeah, I suppose so. They kind of just like, and then they're like whoa and they fly across the house i guess as well if there was like one object a ghost should be able to interact with it's a coffin right like the vehicle for ghosts yeah along with maybe like pumpkins bats you should be able to a ghost should be able to straight up snatch a bat out of the air and throw it like a torpedo. Someday you'll see like a 18th century ghost holding like a Starbucks cup. And you're like, what the? Where did you?

And he's like, it's pumpkin spice, bro. It's all me. It's all in there. This is very on brand of me. The surviving members of the Chase family, obviously now livid, decide to take action. I think this is too many times. This is taking the piss. Yeah, someone's doing something. They inspect the vault for any hidden entrances. They place sand on the floor to detect footprints of any vandals. That's quite smart. And finally, the marble slab covering the stairs was apparently cemented in place.

Okay, so no one can even get in anymore. Now, after a couple years had passed, the story of the haunted Chase family vault had become incredibly popular among the public. It's an exciting story. And the whole town decided to open it up once more. Shush. What? That's so rude. I think it was with the consent of the family. What?

It must have been. Oh my God. What, just to see if it had fallen over again? Just to see? No one had even died. They were like, let's crack this bitch open and see what's going on. We have to sacrifice Ed Shea's family member. So they got ready to do it.

A crowd of curious onlookers gathered as the vault was opened one last time this is so completely backfired from like if you just buried them normally nothing would have happened but they went to the bother making this vault oh no one will ever be able to get in they'll be more protected than anyone else in the whole world yeah and this is just backfired who knows though like maybe if you buried them every time you went to visit them their coffins would be dug up you'd be like god damn it who keeps digging up my grandfather you know you'd be equally pissed off just get them cremated yeah but then every time you come back you're like god damn it who's trying to make a milkshake out of

my grandfather you know there's there'll be something every time right you know send them out to sea viking burial style they come back message in a bottle style in a giant bottle so i'm assuming this is like midnight thunderstorm above rain everyone's got torches and they're all like break down the vault break down vault! There's a whole crowd of curious onlookers gathered as the vault was opened one last time. They get a couple giant bros to push aside the marble slab. This would never happen today. And they peer inside. Coffins everywhere! It's been trashed!

Christ alive. Like, if you're a part of the chase family at this point you're changing your name you're trying to distance yourself as much as possible because there is some bad juju in that blood people do not like you these coffins are upside down they're against walls they're everywhere and no marks the coffins at this point are like making a diagram of like a middle finger. Yeah, it's like the peak insult. Most importantly, no marks had been made in the sand. Wow. Well, at this point, all of the coffins were removed from the vault and buried in a cemetery.

The Chase family vault, however, was left open and unsealed, letting any member of the public in, and whatever vengeful spirit was sealed inside, out. That's the big question. Yeah. Holy shit. What are your thoughts, Kit? I have to say, I do enjoy this M. Night Shyamalan twist

you've put at the end here. So we know that all these coffins were thrown about and everyone's mind goes to who did it who threw these about was it some demon was it the the ghosts of these ancestors what if it was the freaking we don't know if it was the chase family bodies inside they're just throwing themselves around the room yeah i mean i'm assuming in this family there's there's some big inheritances flying around i wouldn't be surprised if a couple family members went to the grave a little earlier than they should have they went they went in there a little raw a little undercooked could you imagine if they were like

outside of the vault and you just hear like, from inside. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I think I hear a noise down there. And one of the oldest brothers is like, all right, I'm going to go check it out. Don't worry. You guys stay here.

I'll go see what it is. Just walks in holding a shovel. It comes back out. It was a bug. What? It was a little bug on the wall there's blood seeping out from underneath that boulder that's blood bud uh bug blood you're stuttering it was a bug bug this is but i've crushed the bug with the shovel i uh caved the bug's head in with the shovel now i get the bug's money you're not even being discreet anymore i got i get the bugs inheritance because i killed

him i just went in there quickly before stamping on that little bug i asked him to sign over all of his worldly possessions that's a really good point though you know this is a a meme throughout history myth and folklore is that these rich families and it sounds like the chase family was you know particularly high in society maybe in this part of the world yeah that they may have gained their riches through ill-gotten their ill-gotten gains absolutely um that maybe they have skeletons in the closet or demons in the tomb so to speak and something is uh they're getting some kind of divine cosmic paranormal justice uh in the afterlife absolutely i mean we have a couple options here one that the chase family died and their spirits are just incredibly restless because they've been awful people in life

also let's not forget the fact that they bought this pre-existing vault off someone who's already using it. Yeah. That's gonna piss off the dead. Yeah. That you're like one step away from like a Native American burial ground situation there. Oh, absolutely. In terms of evidence, we do have a decent amount. Okay.

Now, because these were deaths and burials at a christ church parish obviously there's a lot of evidence for this case okay brian dunning at skeptoid who actually did a really good story on it pointed out obviously the vault is there it exists i can actually show you a picture of it please i want to see this shit but not only is the vault there, the death records are all on file. Yeah. The only thing that's missing is any physical evidence to point to whether anyone was actually placed in the vault. What do you mean? So the vault exists. Yeah. It's the Chase family vault.

And the Chase family members obviously died at some point. They obviously died at some point. But all we have are testimonies from because the bodies were inevitably moved out 20 years later of course there's no physical evidence to prove that they ever were in the vault okay so there we run the possibility here that the vault was basically lying empty and then people just started making up stories oh you know why the vault's empty because they used to try and bury people here but the bodies wouldn't stay still man exactly oh here is okay so here is a picture of the chase family vault wow damn daniel this is some this is like straight out of resident evil one oh yeah like you you leave the mansion and you like go to the

vault there's coffins flying around you walk out into the garden you like shoot a couple demon dogs and then you come across this vault so to describe to everyone it's in a little forested area obviously outside um and then we have essentially just on the surface of the ground a pretty large stone construction with steps leading down to what looks like an iron gate of some kind uh and then an inscription above that gate and this is obviously the entrance to the vault it's yeah this is very spooky looking yeah i'm like no don't click on that one it's like more screenshots from resi you're like wait a minute is that a green herb that's chris redfield there's a photo of um timothy chase it's like that's leon kennedy raccoon city police department you know what i'll throw a

bunch of these pictures up in the um in the this paranormal life patreon please uh feed if you want to check some of those out i'll pick the gnarliest looking ones and here is actually an artist's depiction of how the coffins were violated i found this on a number of different websites as well as you can see is this from the 1800s i mean it's an artist depiction so it's from whenever who gives a shit yeah i mean this looks like it was drawn and then scanned from a napkin just depicting what exactly what you're already picturing in your mind's eye which is three coffins lined up neatly before and then three coffins slightly askew so it's perfect is what you're saying it perfectly depicts

it's fine it depicts it finally accurately i'd say and i think someone probably works pretty goddamn hard on it oh i see down here so i cut them some slack yeah okay it says roy powers of course you can just come clean and just tell me that you made it well if i did you probably say it was shit so i wanted to no i wanted to give it to you without my name on it honestly i'm impressed bro i would if i had known this was you i wouldn't have laid into it so much you know i didn't i didn't know you were taking up drawing so really i spent like two hours on the shading well that's a little too long you malvena or i knew you couldn't just pay me one compliment sorry just the shading was it took a really long time i'm gonna be honest with you the this story isn't real i just drew the coffins and then like i got a whole book of

art i need to make up a bunch of stories you think the donkey lady was real that was a dream i had next week we have the mushroom cactus boy from alaska next week we're investigating the case of um this really hot girl holding me uh just something i drew i want to look into that a little more see if there's any potential there so there's no investigation of any kind this week uh rory driving a sports car is that real i've got a six pack as you can see and i'm also smoking a cigar made of gold i just invented that your dreams are so shallow i call it a so gold all right and it's going to be pretty popular when it takes off your dreams are from a ferris bueller

film i think would you rather have a sigold ret you peasant i wouldn't smoke it's bad for you let alone smoke gold i can't be better everyone knows the coolest things in life are bad for you. That's why I've invented the Seagold. It's a cigar made entirely of gold and tobacco. How much does it cost? So much. To manufacture? Thousands.

To sell? No one will buy it. So we have not hit a market price yet as there have been no buyers. It is technically priceless because no one will pay shit for it you have to light it with a blowtorch because the bastard won't catch i almost went blind on the better test you can imagine just like wearing a suit and just be like you know spark up this gold cigar and be like it's good to be the king take an inhale you go blind immediately and drop to the floor people are like why didn't

you just use gold leaf what what as much as i'd like to continue my pitch of my new product so golds which again is going to be you know it's for the general the gentlemen and the gentle ladies among us for the distinguished man with a suicide plan live fast smoke it up and die young it's time to come to a conclusion we got an interesting story here yeah and i'll be honest with you i'm not really sure how i concluded because any of the natural conclusions that i could think of which would be earthquakes right or flooding in the tombs to displace the coffins would have affected the other vaults. For me personally, if you don't mind me leading the conclusion,

two options. First option is, could it have been someone entering the vaults? Now we have the family who seemed quite pissed off by the ordeal, so I'm assuming they weren't the ones going into the vault and trashing it. Another option that Brian Dunningning at skeptoid actually uh brought up was none of this happened at all which is a a point we probably should make yeah uh and there were a couple reasons behind this one is as we said there was no proof ever really that any coffins were placed inside the vault right the fact that it only came from some lore magazines and testimonies from locals yeah

which would make sense given that they were reportedly made out of lead iron and rock yeah exactly for some reason all the time with our investigations because things are a long time ago they are pre pop culture they are still steeped and imbued in mythology and folklore we see the same ideas same tropes time and time again and our job which is a difficult as shit job is to try and work out whether things actually happened or they were just cool rumors yeah uh that were just common ideas at the time the concept of a coffin or the remains of a body moving in the night when no one's looking after they're supposed to be dead that's an extremely common idea i mean already I'm sure listeners are thinking of like the story of Jesus. It's almost like a play on that story.

The marble slab has moved aside and the body is gone. It's like some kind of version of that, except this has got like a creepy twist. Yeah, a lot grimmer as well. It would have been a bit of a downer if on the day Jesus said he was going to resurrect, they rolled aside the marble and his tomb had just been trashed. Yeah, his coffin is still there. It's just face down.

Yeah, they just wrecked it. That was a really sad conclusion. Yes. But it is true. I think one of the things that we have to do before you try and explain an unexplainable story is to make sure it actually happened or you're going to waste a lot of time on your conclusion and i think to be fair it's quite rare that we just say in an investigation that

nothing actually ever happened um i feel like usually it's some kind of rational explanation or a paranormal explanation but in this case there really isn't any good reason for why any of it would have happened natural or paranormal yeah um i mean the paranormal explanation is there's no evidence for it and it just seems unusual and then the supposedly natural phenomenon that could have caused it just seems so improbable exactly so it kind of leaves us with one possibility one word no i think that's going to be my two words no and no again a double no from this week disappointing but i thought it was a fantastic story and one definitely worth uh investigating so thank you devon maxwell thank you devon devon adelaide

yes we know your true identity we appreciate the email in guys if you would like to email in your own case for us to investigate please email us in at this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com whether it is just a link to a case whether you have done a big ass investigation yourself anything you have send it over to the email and me and kid are on hand checking that shit every day that's right and it's very much like a police anonymous tip line listen if you have some embarrassing story about how uh you know a ghost caught you in an uncompromising uh position and you know, there's some really embarrassing, salacious details about your story.

Don't worry. I mean, yes, Terry did just email us a really embarrassing story yesterday that we are going to cover in a future episode. But normally we will keep it anonymous. If it's good enough, of course we're going to tell everyone. Yeah, of course. Last week, Chris Mahone shat the bed.

Didn't know if it was paranormal or just embarrassing. Yeah. It's fine. We'll keep it on the down low. We won't tell anyone about it. We won't do a whole episode about it. No.

But I mean, obviously, we're going to bring it up. We're going to mention it. Dude, you shat the bed. I'm going to talk about it on the podcast. That's insane. That's ridiculous. Another great thing you can do to support This Paranormal Life is check out our Patreon. That is patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life.

This is where you start forward slash this paranormal life. This is where you start getting stuff back, folks. If you enjoy the show every week, if you want to join the commune, check it out. We have rewards for every tier. We're talking bonus episodes. We're talking t-shirts. We even do shout outs on the podcast if you are one of the people that support the show which means this week we have some very special people to shout out right now let's do it a special thank you to jade lay all day jade lay came to play that's right you know how people

are all nonsense jade's all fun the work never starts with jade which is actually counterproductive sometimes because it's like yeah i mean sometimes we hired her and it's it's not a good return on investment let's say no she hasn't done a lot for us in terms of um actual work i mean she makes everyone laugh has a really good time but again we're we're going bankrupt we're going bankrupt i mean we're laughing laugh a minute i i said um jade can you do these tax returns and she burnt them in front of me and was just laughing so hard i started laughing the whole thing was such a crazy thing to do and then when she left i was like shit we really needed those so thank you for your support jade but we need some more work out of you come

on thank you also to phil mansfield hey kit How many members are there in the paranormal commune enough to fill a Mansfield? Whoa? That's right. We are growing by the numbers and Phil has joined the herd Chowing down on that paranormal grass filling up fields because that's where we are right now. We're between locations Actually, we got a pretty pretty seriously evicted from the last ones we're on the lookout just kind of hanging out in fields these days and and marching towards a cliff edge where we will inevitably uh drop off like lemmings of course but thank you phil thank you also to el hanrahan man oh man it's el hanrahan. Man, oh man, it's El Hanrahan. My favorite letter of the alphabet coming back to support us on Patreon.

What, El? El. Stands for lucky. Ever heard of it? Loser. Right, because you're holding the L of your forehead as if you know what it means. Exactly. Thank you, El, for your support.

Why don't you tell the other letters? Step it into gear. Thank you also to Joe Mc... Weird pronunciation. Is that foreign? Thank you also to Joe McFadden. Remember back in the 90s when it felt like every other week there was some new crazy kids fad? Yeah.

And you figure, like, who's behind this? Who, like, engineers these crazy kids fad yeah and you figure like who's behind this who like engineers these crazy kids like crazes of course mcfadden of course it was him it was him everyone everyone beyblades pokemon oh my god yugioh he's a billionaire yeah he has coin despair wow i'm so glad that he's realized that the newest fad is to support this podcast on Patreon. It'll be over in a minute. So thank you, Joe, for making that kind leap with your newest fad. Thank you also to Harry Smith. Harry Smith, also known as Harry Blacksmith,

Harry Smith. Harry Smith, also known as Harry Blacksmith, forger of the most paranormal beast slaying weapons ever to grace God's earth. And here he is, not really supplying us any weapons of any kind, despite numerous requests for even a freaking dagger. He's kind of a weird phenomenon. Like, there's not really blacksmiths in the world anymore yeah he just kind of lives out in the woods just quietly makes um sort of world of warcraft style legendary and epic weapons yeah forged with um mithril and kind of legendary metals you didn't think existed but

he also has like a macbook and he subscribes to our podcast apparently. Yeah. Most of his weapons are for cosplay. It's not really for like slaying mythical beasts, but I think we're the only ones that really do that. Sadly for the like legendary bladesmiths of Japan, there's not really a market for samurai swords anymore other than cosplay. It's mostly cosplay. Thank you also to Caitlin Abuchon.

If it isn't ice skating, Caitlin, one of the best skaters to ever skate in the competitive arena. You know how most people would be like, oh, here's a twirl. Or, oh, I'm on one foot now. Double axel. Yeah. Oh, it's so fantastic. Caitlin did a quadruple backflip unassisted. I'd never seen it.

It defied gravity. It was the most absurd thing I'd ever seen. What does assisted ice skating look like? A trampoline is involved in some capacity. An ice trampoline. When she landed that quadruple flip, I knew at that point she must be a cryptid. There's no way around it.

She is some sort of beast. We've been trying to hunt her ever since. She's really slapping us in the face by donating to our Patreon to be like, hey, you can't catch me, but like chucking a couple dollars at us, you know, while she's elusively out there skating her little ass off.

She's like, I'm not even human and I have more money than you, arguably. Thank you. Lastly, but not leastly, to Susan Shambrook. More like Susan Scambrook. Susan, you assured me that what I was investing in was not a pyramid scheme. And here we are.

You've got all my money, Susan. Now I have to explain to the fine people of Patreon what it's all gone to. We put it in a scheme, guys! We lost it! Listen, it would happen to the best of us. Shambrooke emails you, you get an email in your inbox and it says you could be the first line of investors in a lucrative new crypto called Scamcoin. What were we to do? Hindsight 2020 on on that one but we didn't have a choice but we really appreciate all the support that you guys are giving us monthly to recuperate our losses we just want you to know yes you can support the podcast or if you would like to triple your money you can invest in scam coin use our code uh hashtag paranormal uh to you you you'll triple your loans it's not a pyramid scheme uh this is our own this is paranormal to triple your loans

it's not a pyramid scheme this is a different thing triple your loans? what does that even mean? triple your loans, triple your bones you'll triple your debt t-minus 5 completely honest in less than 5 minutes

you can triple your debt online if I talk fast enough i'll confuse them uh thank you so much to everyone who supports this podcast um and thank you so much to all of our lovely patrons who are supporting us on patreon because we don't run ads on this show we we want to keep it ad free unbiased so the man doesn't have a say in it obviously that being said we can promote our own products So so gold's available now in most high street stores It's for the the gentleman and the gentle gentle ladies of the highest class the highest caliber so so gold's Pick up your pack now. It's like smoking the barrel of a gun

That's the caption. So check it out if you want to be fancy-ish. If your friends are goblins and you're obviously like a high-class person, get some Seagulls. I don't want to push it too hard because I feel like I'm going to scare people off. But you should buy them. I don't think anyone's listening at this point anyway. Does anyone listen this far in the podcast? I really hope they do.

Listen, if you listen to this far in the podcast? I really hope they do. Listen, if you listen to this far in the podcast and you're interested in purchasing a pack of Seagolds, you can message me on Twitter, at RoryHasPowers. You can message Kit on Twitter, at Kit Greer. And let us know. We do specific orders for specific gentlemen.

So let us know about that. Thank you for tuning in this week. Remember, folks, to... What is the one I made up for Seagulls? Remember, folks, to live fast, smoke it up, and die young, baby. Such a... As if the message could get worse it's time promoting smoking i know

it's one step away from live fast smoke crack and die young Thank you.