This Paranormal Life - #097 The Living Blobs of Oakville Washington - Weapon or Plague?

Episode Date: January 23, 2019

One August morning in 1994 the residents of Oakville, Washington woke to find their beloved town covered in mysterious blobs that rained overnight. Just some weird weather phenomenon, right? Then one local hospital researcher put the blobs under the microscope, and what they saw was all too human...Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If ghosts are really dead, people, are you safest in your living room? What's worse, your home getting possessed or repossessed? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life! Hey, welcome back to the podcast. It is Tuesday once again, you are listening to This Paranormal Life, the paranormal podcast where every week we dissect a different paranormal tale case or claim and get to the bottom of whether that is true or false as always you're joined by the two greatest uh most decorated paranormal investigators in the whole wide world that's myself mr kit and this guy mr rory boo motherf**ks welcome to the

podcast i'm so excited to be here for another week investigating the scariest stuff that scars this universe. The stuff that, you know, if we were all just good Christians to each other week in week out, we wouldn't have to deal with. But unfortunately there's sinners out there. Exactly. And we have to pay for their sins by dealing with the Bigfoot, dealing with the Sasquatch, dealing with the Loch Ness Monster and other such demonic creatures such demonic creatures exactly as always we're just going to dive right in we're not going to mess about this week like many weeks actually these days comes as a listener submission suggestion this comes from one l hanrahan who i think we shouted out recently thanks l you know lots of people pitch us ideas lately and please keep sending them to thisparanormallifepodcast

at gmail.com because they have been stellar recently. They really have. And ones from locations where the listeners are based as well. So like, hey, this was from my hometown. Yeah. This is a ghost that lived next door to me. Some really personal stuff. Yeah, some real firsthand TMI information.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think my dad was abducted when I was six. He went out for a pack of smokes and I haven't seen him since. Please get to the bottom of this one ASAP. I mean, in the beginning people were just like, hey, have you heard of Loch Ness Monster? First it was Bigfoot, now we're investigating the shit that Bigfoot's scared of.

Bigfoot is contacting us to deal with some even more paranormal cases but l has actually gone to the next level she has not only given us a suggestion not only researched this story herself but actually submitted sent us the body of a gray to our po box bastard was crushed in there evidence isidence is useless now. He's goo. But no, she's actually submitted her paranormal Harvard PhD thesis. Wow. Yeah, this is a fellow alumni of Harvard Paranormal. There's not many of them in the world,

but we really appreciate you running this by us before you submit it for your final year. Part of the Illuminati. So without any further ado, we're going to jump right in it's 1994 in oakville washington date irrelevant nice month august it's just a quiet day in the sleepy and quiet town according to google maps oakville has a population of about 600 people and according to soundcloud we don't have a single listener in this town, so we can openly talk as much shit as we want about these guys. Love it.

Sometimes when we cover different locations I've never heard of before, I like to just quickly Google it, jump in, jump the little Street View guy in there. That's a good idea. Just have a look around. Find their weaknesses. You know, yeah, scan the perimeter of the town. Where's a good vantage point? Are there many police stations are there any military bases if not that will not be a good

place for the commune because um we we don't tend to get on well with law enforcement with johnny law with uncle sam so here's here's what we're dealing with here i don't know if you can see this i am wearing sunglasses you probably take these off it's dark as shit turn the brightness up as you said we have no listeners based in this town so uh to describe it accurately we are looking at the ass end of butt f**k nowhere a dirty little dust town in in the end of rural america i don't think the dictionaries in this town contain the word culture. Or words. It's a coloring book.

I think this is the type of place where everyone more or less looks the same. You kind of run into someone in the street. And then the next day, you can't be sure if you met that person. The next time you run into someone. Yeah. Like, I'm pretty sure they all look the same. It's hard to tell. And the majority is called Chuck.

Most of them are called Chuck. It's like, didn't we meet Chuck? No, you met my brother Chuck the 13th. And the majority is called Chuck. Most of them are called Chuck. It's like, didn't we meet Chuck? No, you met my brother, Chuck the 13th. I'm Chuck the 14th. He's the smart one. I'm the pretty one. And I was reading about Oakville on Wikipedia. And one quote that I really liked, a 1909 quote from the U.S. Railroad Commission. They said, Oakville's a growing town of around 400 people and will develop more rapidly as the resources of the surrounding district are more thoroughly exploited.

So fast forward over 100 years and the population has grown by 200 people. I love it. Like the chief engineer of the railroad would say, it's a town with a lot of potential and a lot of great resources. Unfortunately, when we sent our engineers there to talk about developing a railroad, they were burnt for being a witch. The town does not accept electricity, let alone trains.

Okay, but I'm exaggerating a little. But yes, for the citizens of this sleepy logging town, there was largely nothing unusual about this particular August 7th in 1994. Until about 3am. While most were sound asleep, a heavy rain started. Normal enough for the Pacific Northwest, but this was no ordinary rain. Because it wasn't raining water.

Oakville police officer David Lacey is driving on a very late or very early patrol, depending on how you look at it around this time of night when turns on his wipers to clear the windscreen from the rain but as soon as those windscreens hit the quote water it smears a thick gel all over his windscreen immediately he can't see a thing. He pulls over and jumps out of the car, not knowing what on earth this was. He grabs some latex gloves from the back of the car to carefully touch the goo that's now covering the entire bonnet and is still falling like rain around him.

What in the hell? He later said it was, quote, very mushy, almost like you had Jell-O in your hand. We turned our windshield wipers on, and it just started smearing to the point where we could almost not see. And we both looked at each other and we said, you know, Jesus isn't right. I mean, we're out in the middle of nowhere, basically, and where did this come from? Well, Officer Lacey slowly navigated home and turned in for the night. While Officer Lacey slowly navigated home and turned in for the night,

but the following morning, the residents of Oakville woke up to discover their sleepy town was a lot more gooey than usual. And it's usually pretty damn gooey. These guys don't clean a lot. There are frogs, there are slugs, there are snails, there are all sorts of creatures and slime creatures, swamp dwellers, dragging their slimy bodies all over this little shitty town this isn't a town that gets cleaned a lot by the way the first time someone tried to introduce them to a roomba he was burnt for being a witch right the dyson salesman which burnt uh

you know the kind of guys who just show up with like trying to um sell uh like fuzzy dusters and mops and things borderline sponges yeah just a sponge i think that guy got flogged they were like absorb this and they pushed him into a river um there was a lot of just just unaccepting of any foreigners really of any kind especially ones who were trying to encourage any sense of hygiene in the town from early in the town's inception i think they recognized the sheer prevalence of local slime creatures and i think they really exalted those creatures to a kind of pagan animal worship cult status and um so they really they really embrace the slime embrace the wet yeah ironically becoming witches themselves in the process absolute druids

of themselves so unaware that you're a witch burning people for witchcraft like this guy's definitely a witch let's tie him up use our spells you guys are wearing the pointy hats giant circular pointy hats he came here in a broom i saw him black cats everywhere silence witch you all laugh like that like is he eating eye of newt uh that's eye of toad actually still pretty witchy local delicacy bro hard cut to the local hospital a local nurse is clocking on for the day to find the waiting room absolutely packed out what on earth is going going on? Bearing in mind this is a really small town, there's only so many people can be sick at any one time. Right.

Members of staff are all scrambling around. What's going on? Hell, if I know, grab a stethoscope and help someone. I don't know if that's how doctors talk, but I figure they might say stuff like that. Yeah, 200 cc's of medicine. Yeah, medicine. I don't care what medicine we don't

have time god damn it this man needs medicine someone bring me the cure you know things like that tap that guy's knee with a tiny hammer get him to say ah cut him open sew him up again i actually have a throat infection they like start amputating your leg whoa whoa whoa whoa hitting you with a tiny hammer one doctor's just hitting people with two by fours like what possible treatment is that nurse you need to put this man's ass to sleep what why just the ass my eyes hurt i was just swinging by to get some paracetamol for my wife anyway whatever the doctors said to each other something was going on people were seriously ill we're talking from general nausea right through to impaired vision right through to goo in the eyes we're talking from goo in the stomach to goo in the eyes goo in the ears

we're talking difficulty seeing difficulty difficulty hearing, difficulty speaking through goo. All goo-related symptoms were there. But it wasn't just the human residents who had problems either. The local vet is cued out the door with sick dogs and cats and their worried owners. Oh, damn. What in the goddamn hell is happening? Everybody in the whole town came down with like a flu, only it was a really hard flu. It didn't last like seven days. It lasted like seven weeks, two or three months.

Now, this would have been mental enough. But after a few days, the event is starting to fade from memory. People and animals' health is recovering. You know, it's like whenever there's a flash in the pan, an occurrence like that, everyone scrambles around for a while. But then suddenly, once it's over and there's no clear cause, everyone goes, I guess something was going around. It's true.

It's true. But just at that point, the mysterious rain fell again. And not just once, but again. And again, over the next week or so, it fell something like six times. Wow. Gelatinous, sticky blobs. Around the size of individual grains of rice rice falling like rain across the whole town now if this happened to me i'm gonna start assuming this is a biblical plague i'm gonna

start reading the bible crying asking for forgiveness assuming the world is about to end all together but luckily there are smarter people in the world than me there are scientists nice i mean not in this town but probably a town over yeah like one time over they had to call and that phone isn't even really numbers it's like pictures they understand it better so 9-1-1 is like cow cow horse they dial cow cow horse and it connects them to like like a fake police like a robot cop or it's like we are listening we are listening please tell us what is wrong even though it's 9-1-1 it's like your call is important to us yeah we'll get back to it after lunch but a scientist

answered the call a local hospital researcher caught wind of what was happening in oakville drove through town got out to take a little test tube sample and get it back to the lab. After all, people are getting sick, pets are dying, and it keeps happening. So if there is a clue for how to stop this thing, it will be under the microscope. The researcher is in the lab at midnight. She's chain smoking, you know, the lights are low, she's drinking whiskey. Maybe the radio's on in the background. I mean, bad scientist. She's looking through the microscope. The answer machine goes off in the background. I mean, bad scientist. She's looking through the microscope.

The answer machine goes off in the background. Beep! It's her husband like, I want a divorce. Sweetie, are you coming home? Please don't stay late again tonight. I know you think it's up to you to solve the mystery of the blob rain, but it's not your fault.

Look, we tried to save Fluffy the cat. We did everything we could, but there's nothing we could do. There's nothing anyone could have done. Please don't blame yourself. And you know, she throws a whiskey glass against the answering machine. She goes, damn it. If we could just figure out where these blobs are coming from, Fluffy would still be alive. There's like a picture of Fluffy right there on the table beside her. Just adorable. Yeah. And just as the answering machine hangs up,

it's the chemical analysis program she was running. It's finished computing. She runs over to the desk to check the results. And she's in disbelief. She's looking at the screen. It can't be. The results say that the blob was primarily white blood cells what human white blood cells jesus so imagine at this point we're a few days into this mysterious crisis you're this researcher what are you thinking right off the bat that that conclusion is kind

of the equivalent of the calls coming from inside the house. Like, I'm the goo. At that point, it's like, load the gun and start firing wildly into your own stomach. It's one step away from it being Fluffy's DNA. Yeah, exactly. Like, under the microscope, you can see parts of her collar. And you're like, oh! The dead are raining from the skies.'s like a zodiac she looks under the microscope and zooms in

enlarge enlarge enlarge there's a zodiac killer style ransom note that would be i think the grimace conclusion is that the answer was just that heaven is full and the more people that are dying the more people are being pushed off the sides of the clouds and like dissolving on impact back down to earth that's dark that's really dark you know though that oakville had someone religious enough to believe that oh absolutely yeah i think it was the mayor as well heaven's full we might as well start digging down and just get it over with heaven's full that means there's only one place left to go turns the cross upside down we're gonna diver we better start appeasing the dark lord so that we can be in his best favor for when

the time comes for judgment we are going to divert all city funds into digging a three mile deep hole in the ground we will start sending man woman and child down that hole we gotta do this before hell gets full otherwise who knows where we'll have to go stay here god forbid i know that's a great thing to happen hell being full and you having to go to heaven is like the equivalent of economy class getting overbooked and they're like we had to upgrade you to business for free yeah because legally we have to get you on the flight that would be the craziest thing if you had like murdered and stolen your way through life and then you know like you die the demon hands like pull you down into the grave and you're like all right i've been ready

for this my whole life i know where i'm going it's like man we're full there's been like a whole eternity of assholes down here we are packed out you gotta go to the big man upstairs shit i wasn't expecting i mean i've carved a goddamn pentagram into my chest i was fully committed to this experience and then the the weird twist is though when he goes up to heaven it's so perfect and everyone's so nice that's his hell because he hates it because he's like i want to i'm gonna kill everyone so you can't kill here you know he tries to stab someone and like it just turns to flowers that kind of push against someone's cheek and they're like oh thank you and everyone everyone's like whoa you're harshing my buzz bro just calm down have a turmeric smoothie

no hey jc's over here running a yoga retreat want to join ah take me hell give me some whiskey whisk wah all we have here is iodine water it's just boulder colorado i know at this point the ideal would be i'd show you some evidence yeah hang tight okay all right that's a big ask but but i will give you something this is an image that floats around the internet associated with this case right i'm just going to come right on and say this isn't the actual goo but this is i think a good like artist interpretation of kind of what we're dealing with here okay that kind of thing oh okay so apparently it's totally clear right right right because i was thinking green you know like goo green that's off the bat

right no this this thing's totally clear just gooey gelatinous just to give you a picture the substance it was very mushy uh it's almost like if you had jello in your hand and, you know, you could pretty much squish it through your fingers. We knew it wasn't something that we would normally see because we had never experienced it before. So we did have some bells go off in our heads that basically said that this isn't right, this isn't normal. But just because they discovered something about the blobs

didn't mean they were any closer to a solution. For example, Dottie Heeran was an Oakville local who, after coming into contact with the globs, collapsed in her own house. And it was only her own children that discovered her on the floor and they rushed her to hospital, where she developed flu-like symptoms that lasted up to three months wow when the doctor was asked to give a diagnosis he shrugged and said some type of virus wow bad doctor i mean you could be more specific than that don't shrug as a general rule of thumb you've got to be confident there's like a scientific way as way as well to to say some

type of virus it'd be like it's some type of um unknown uh virus in the body that we were having a hard time pinpointing exactly where it has come from yeah i don't know oh bad bones she's got the sneezes uh witch he's got you look and he's got a flaming torch oh jesus no why is there gasoline in the iv drip he's he's one of those like plague doctors with the giant beak he takes it off and he's just like oozing goo as well like he's got it way worse than anyone else at least the doctor should be healthy that's a sign of how bad this town is the doctor's sick as the doctor's asking you like bro i feel awful feel bad for your mom check this out he takes his mask off oh my god yeah i know right like what's wrong with you shrugs i've tried everything bed Bed rest, sleeping. So mostly sleeping.

I've tried sleeping, snoozing. Drifting off. Napping, dozing. None of it's worked. Just sleeping. So when the staff at the hospital learned about the white blood cell content of the blobs, they wanted confirmation. Because bearing in mind, this is just one researcher they wanted to

do some further study so they passed it along to the washington state health lab you know they wanted to get it out of those shitty oakville labs absolutely washington state health lab very smart idea there a scientist called mike mcdowell studied it he tried to detect the presence of bacteria on this sample by applying the goo to a bacterial medium to see if anything would grow. Oh, that's really smart, actually. And he had, from what I understand, some success. I think he got two different species of bacterium to grow on this sample, indicating that it may be organic. It doesn't mean that it's white blood cells.

But this gave him an idea. doesn't mean that it's white blood cells. But this gave him an idea. He thought to himself, what if we can detect what this is because it's not a natural phenomenon? What if this is actually man-made? What if the goo isn't the point, but it's just a medium, a carrier for something else like this bacteria? So if it's man-made, who could have made this? Mike probably only told one or two people within the department about this wild idea, which made it even more unusual when one day, when he turned up for work to continue research on the substance, all his samples were gone. According to Mike, every sample of the blobs was removed from the lab. The only time in his 30

year career that samples had gone missing. Did someone want it for themselves or did they want to stop any further research? So basically what we have here is a case in which we have pretty good documentation as well as pretty much a paper trail of the actual government's involvement in trying to solve this mystery yeah we had the state department of health actually conduct tests on this but those tests were cut short for unknown reasons i'm going to outline a couple of the theories people theorize this could be somehow connected to naval drills. Okay. It was theorized that these naval bombings may have destroyed a school of jellyfish in the sea.

Okay. Sent the jellyfish pieces flying into the air that traveled 50 miles inland through clouds and weather formations. Yeah. 50 miles inland through clouds and weather formations yeah only to fall on the town of oakville uh six times over the course of a week or two right this sounds mental and so unbelievable but this is believe it or not one of the more popular explanations for what could happen would if it was the jelly from a jellyfish, would that not have possibly been easily identified by scientists had they broken it down under a microscope? Great question. Part of the problem here was that it only got as far as a hospital researcher and later the State Department of Health.

Never anywhere near a biologist or anyone who would have knowledge about that. Yes, they said it was white blood cells maybe they just identified a organic structure believed it to look like white blood cells right then it went on to the state state health department but weren't able to say definitively maybe because they don't have any experience with jellyfish matter or that's true because i i don't really know a lot about jellyfish as far as i'm aware the way their body operates is just pure magic i don't know if they're because there's no blood and as a resin of oakville i will burn them at the stake at every chance i get for their magic with fire their mortal enemy these sea beasts the only magic i can harness i yeah, I have no idea what the genetic makeup of a jellyfish is.

Yeah. Presumably the goop would carry some sort of indication of life. This theory was not popular with residents of Oakville. Of course. They didn't buy it for a second. They were like, that is plain bullcrap. On to theory two. One theory is that it may have been, and this is disgusting,

human waste dumped from a passing plane overhead. Oh, God. You know when you're pooping in an airplane and you hit the flush and it's really scary because it's loud and it gets sucked out there? Yeah. Where does it go eventually? I mean, I would have assumed that it,

they just empty it when they get to an airport. Yeah, that's what I thought as well. But I guess I've never seen that happen. I've seen themuel i've seen them not de-poop take the exactly the pilot never goes thanks for waiting here we're just taxiing and de-pooping the aircraft and we'll be taking off in about 15 minutes that never happens it was uh taco tuesdays over over in miami where we departed so uh is going to be a longer session than usual. Please ignore the sound. That's just

the sound of the plane emptying. It's incredibly long and distracting and disgusting, but that is just the sound of a Boeing 737 de-pooping. De-pooping? I love it. That's what I'm going to call going to the bathroom from now on. Hold on a sec, guys. I got to de-poop.

Why was it gelatinous then? I mean, what does yours look like? Am I weird? Yours isn't. Clear goo. I don't know. I don't know how they thought this would fly either. Apparently, this is a somewhat viable explanation. somewhat viable explanation but one major problem with it is that the u.s federal aviation administration requires that all plane waste must be dyed blue oh so even if so apparently it is possible they just dumped it over a ton fair enough but that it would be blue if it was if it landed although it is of course illegal to do over it over populated areas. I think if they do it at all, it's probably over the ocean. Right. And a bigger problem with this is this would have had to have happened six times over the course of a couple of weeks.

Another great point. Which, unless some pilot had a real issue with Oakville, Washington. A vendetta, yeah. So this does seem unlikely, although it might explain the bacteria. The third major theory is more in line with what Mike, the scientist at the State Department of Health, was starting to think about. A biological warfare test. Maybe this goo wasn't an organic substance like jellyfish or poop, but actually it was an inorganic matrix used to hold some kind of bacteria or virus. Whilst that seems outlandish, whilst it is illegal internationally, it is a crime against humanity to test biological weapons on a populated area, it would explain people getting sick.

It would explain the appearance out of nowhere it would explain no normal natural explanation for how this happened but how these pets died and how people got ill for months at a time absolutely and you know i'm going to put on my paranormal investigator voice for a second here please please but do you really believe that this is the first time the American military has tested biological weapons on the unknowing and unwilling populated cities of the USA? Hell no. No. Why don't you look at a little thing called MKUltra, folks, alright? There are records.

That's right. There are documents that have been unclassified to show that these experiments took place. If you can't be bothered reading the documents, just watch Wormwood, the documentary on Netflix, and you will see that the CIA poisoned a man with LSD unknowingly, and he threw himself off of a goddamn building. All true. Even though we're doing the voice. All true.

off of a goddamn building. All true. Even though we're doing the voice. All true. And before we even start talking about the possible legitimacy of those popular theories, I would like to shout out Elle here, who has actually, as part of her thesis, gone as far to include some of her own theories,

which are definitely worth thinking about. Okay. She writes, My theory is that the blobs are either 1. the splattered remains of alien gray skydivers who have plummeted to earth in attempts to meet the president himself they missed the white house but still hit washington and l actually followed up in a as later email and said just realize washington isn't the same as washington dc uh unfortunately due to their body composition the earth's atmosphere turned them into a clear

jelly before they ever hit the ground i do always love the idea of like hyper intelligent aliens coming to invade and conquer earth and then be like tripping at the first hurdle they didn't even think of like you know war of the worlds they just died because they weren't used to human bacteria and this one would be you know they've like got all their top gear and equipment on they're ready to all jump out of this giant war carrier and they jump out like thinking that they'll safely float to earth not realizing that earth's gravity is like seven times as as heavy as the one on their home planet and they all just like sky just jellified yeah absolutely destroyed on impact two the aliens were trying to dump their own poop from a spacecraft before returning to their home

planet which they do not they are not legally required to dye blue. The multiple instances of rain are justified to the number of times the aliens were sent to Washington and they had to empty the poop tank each time. Very interesting. Thirdly, my final possibility is that the aliens are in fact giant sentient jellyfish who were pissed at the government for bombing their Earth-bound relatives in pacific ocean and then launched themselves from space to punish washington again wrong washington but the aliens maybe got that wrong too exactly if a human can do it an alien can do it too and i like this a lot finally is it possible that the dramatically low reported cases of this

event have had men in black intervention to stop people speaking out or coming forward with statements very interesting going through those popular official theories and then some of l's more wild paranormal ideas yes do any of those make sense to you uh i like a lot of l's theories some of them, obviously, don't know if they'll hold up in the court of the paranormal. Right. Yeah. Aliens dumping their feces on the earth. As we know, aliens such as Ebens do not really poop.

Yeah. A lot or at all. They kind of just touch an orb. Aliens we know to be super advanced if they can come to earth. I've dropped my phone. Aliens, super advanced, very advanced spacecrafts that can travel across the universe super human intelligence the first thing they do with their superhuman abilities is they um fuse up their butts yeah they don't need to poop anymore they get rid of that whole sad fact of reality um absolutely beings need to excrete so yeah until we evolve beyond the need for uh pooping yeah i think mankind will forever be

handcuffed to the savagery of our evolutionary path you can quote me on that one we've been trying to get in touch with elon for a while because elon is um he's interested he's interested some really transhumanist ideas this idea of trying to leave planet earth move to mars um terraform mars so that it's habitable for human life yeah um and i've really been trying to leave planet earth move to mars um terraform mars so that's habitable for human life yeah um and i've really been trying to sell them on the idea that we could actually go a lot further than mars if we eliminate the need for pooping altogether absolutely so just as the last thing to wrap this up i just wanted to show you it's rare that actually a paranormal event is covered in the new york times so i've got right here a clipping from 1994 from

the new york times oh my god mystery blobs were once alive jesus and that's quite interesting because i think they wrote that more or less right in the middle of the investigation so with uh they even talk about the investigation of the state health department in the hospital number of theories have been launched such as the flying jellyfish theory. That was printed in the goddamn New York Times, the flying jellyfish theory. I love it. Just like Elle, great minds think alike. She fabricated that whole article.

Never f***ing happened. There's a number of cells of various sizes. Some people want to start an annual jellyfish festival now where they shoot jelly into the town with a cannon the town is all the town's tavern is also concocting a new drink the jellyfish we hadn't actually considered the possibility that this is a publicity stunt for a very small underfunded town to to drive visitors from afar. Which would be funny because it didn't f***ing work. Why they thought people would want to visit a diseased goo town is beyond me.

Yeah, I actually completely forgot about that, about how the townspeople... It's quite funny that even though I'm painting the picture that people got seriously ill and their pets died, a lot of people got on board with the fun of the goo town and goo town usa they launched the first ever jelly fish-tival an annual celebration of all things goo i know the last time which is quite recently that we listed the ingredients for a paranormal linked beverage yeah people on our facebook society actually went ahead and made the drink and that was the butter whiskey that was the sculpting yeah butter whiskey cocktail people went and made it and posted pictures that was hilarious i love it so i'm gonna tell you right now that the new york times in 1994, August 20th, printed that the local tavern in Oakville started the jellyfish cocktail made with vodka, gelatin, and juice.

Okay, that's pretty simple. Pretty simple. Although the gelatin, that's a real curveball. Yeah. Like, that's going to make it thick and gooey. Isn't it just a jelly shot, basically? Yes. Something like that.

Please post us a picture. That's hilarious. What I love about this case is that, like you just saw in the paper from 1994, this is done on public record. This absolutely happened. Some accounts will tell you that everyone in the town was diseased after this,

and everyone was afflicted with it, and pets dropped dead everywhere. Other more conservative claims will tell you that, to this day, there's probably actually only a couple of people who will say that they were personally affected by this and i know people aren't coming on left right and center to talk about it even though there have been has been a national geographic documentary about it there's been an unsolved mysteries investigation into it but despite this kind of dearth of public information there's still a wide gulf between the different possibilities of what happened here.

Particularly when you are in our line of work, trying to determine whether something was paranormal or not. Of course. Looking at some of the more mundane explanations for what happened, right through to some of Al's alien skydiving explanations, what do you think makes the most sense today? We have a lot of great options for this case, which is great because a lot of the times

our case comes down to, did it happen or did it not happen? Right. Whereas now we have the path of it happening and a lot of explanations for it happening. Elle raised some great ones, some pretty outlandish ones, but hell, this is the world of the paranormal here. Nothing's crazy folks then as you said towards the end of your conclusion there were

three real popular theories which was uh the nuked jellyfish in the ocean poop from a plane or finally what we have is biological warfare testing by the u.s government of all of those conclusions the one that makes the most sense and appeals to me the most is number three biological weapons testing on the public by the u.s government jesus now that's a tall claim sir i wanted to i was on my phone earlier because i wanted to just double check my facts of of how big a thing this was but even a quick google let me know that there was an actual declassified operation of germ warfare testing a program that went on for 20 years in the u.s government from 1949 to 1969 but was that testing on u.s soil it was it absolutely

was i mean for one example that i've've got here from businessinsider.com, and I think they know what they're talking about because they're inside the business. It states that on September 20th, 1950, a U.S. Navy ship just off the coast of San Francisco used a giant hose to spray a cloud of microbes into the air. Jesus. hose to spray a cloud of microbes into the air. Jesus. It was testing how a biological weapon attack would affect the residents of the city by attacking them with a biological weapon.

Christ, a lie. And that's only one example. You'll actually freak yourself out if you go online and look into the history of the government. I'm getting really paranormal here. Real conspiracy hat real quick. Despite having researched this whole topic, it was something I'm getting really paranormal here. Real conspiracy hat real quick. Despite having researched this whole topic, it was something I'm pretty naive about. I don't really

know that. I know that it has happened in specific circumstances in the past, but I thought that it was more relegated to, like I said, the kind of thing in MKUltra where it was specific programs with a limited number of participants. Yeah. But to think that they may have been testing blindly against a populace. Oh yeah. That's something else altogether. Actually reading some of the few testimonies that do exist from the likes of the National Geographic show who went to Oakville, it does seem to be a popular sentiment in Oakville amongst the locals is they're not really thinking too much about jellyfish. They're not believing the airplane stuff too much. You'll

hear a few residents say that August 1994, we had a ton of military aircraft flying overhead. We had blacked out jets flying overhead. We had helicopters flying overhead you know every few hours for a couple days they do seem to believe that there's probably some connection between those two well it's a perfect spot as well like a small town like this with a controlled population where you know if something outlandish happens like this people aren't necessarily going to be inclined to believe the people of this town and it is interesting, we've started disparaging them right here on the podcast. From the launch of this episode, we were already making fun of them.

And if the events of this case have proceeded as you described, it is interesting to note that once the samples of the goop reached the hands of people who were examining them under a microscope and talking to their friends about the results of these tests,

there was no more goop dropping. That's right. When it became sort of a suspicious activity, no more testing anymore because they can't risk the goop falling into the wrong hands. You know, we have a bit of a scattergun case here where all the jigsaw pieces are all over the floor, but the jigsaw pieces that do fit together,

they create the image of the Pentagon. Okay? The jigsaw pieces that do fit together they create the image of the pentagon okay the jigsaw pieces that fit together they they fit together to create an obama okay and it's not so much of a puzzle because guess what goop connects to goop pretty damn easy there's no slotting it into shape you just push it together yeah you take out the box and it says a thousand pieces then you open up the box and it's just like flubber pours out it's really not a puzzle at all no no no no so as always on this podcast we have to come down to a uh yes or no as to whether this is actually paranormal without putting words in your mouth it sounds like we're coming down on maybe this thing isn't paranormal right maybe this thing is goddamn conspiratorial. Exactly.

And in my book, that falls under the blanket of paranormal. Yeah? That is outside the norm. It's not maybe outside of this universe, but it's still pretty damn strange. Yeah. Is this like a new classification? If we cover something that's like a crazy conspiracy are we able to give this a yes i think so i think so well then it's two yeses yes and we

are breaking ground here for the first time ever i believe we are saying yes on a user submission really is this the first time i well i don't want to say that because like david's gonna be home being like you sons of bitches i sent in atlantis he's got like a golden record on the on the wall of his achievement wow all i gotta say is folks if this is in any indication of the quality investigating that our audience is capable of if you think there's a case out there that is a certified yes please send it in send in your research we would love to take a look at it because we had never heard of this one um and needless to say l is going to be getting her phd from harvard paranormal absolutely double yes you knew that was going to happen today it's a rarity i need some whiskey let or something. Let's get some champagne, brother. Absolutely.

I've actually got some goo here. Some sparkling goo. 1994. It's a good year. You ever had a little cocktail called the jellyfish? My eyes are red. I'm clearly so sick. It's just a jelly shot with enough vodka to sting your mouth when you drink it.

That just about wraps it up for the case of the oakville washington blobs which is which is a double yes i did not see that coming jesus when that one lit up the inbox yeah i didn't think that was going to be a surefire yes oh man I love it but like Roy says if you have any of your own ideas for what would make a good investigation send them through

to this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com which isn't to say that we don't have a ton of other great submissions already in the bag

we're just getting on to investigating them that's all there's just two of us and there's a god damn planet full of paranormal shit out there for us to investigate.

So we're going to be at this for a while. We will. If you enjoyed this, do send in your emails. You can also hit us up on the socials. Twitter.com forward slash thisparalife. Facebook.com forward slash thisparanormallife. Of course. The This Paranormal Life Facebook group, the secret society, where all the best investigators are hanging out in a kind of gentleman

and gentlewoman's club of evening time fraternity conversation, candlelit dinners, and jellyfish cocktails over talks of the paranormal. It's very sophisticated is what I'm trying to say. People are chucking rounds of golds like

they're nothing. You may have noticed that we don't run ads on this paranormal life that's right the only way that this paranormal life is sustained as a um thing through this universe that requires matter to keep it going is through our glorious listeners support on patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life and patreon.com if you're not familiar it is a fantastic website that allows you to connect with um people like us just directly there's no middleman there's no goddamn sponsors there's no mibs there's no men in black there's no government agents trying to get in the way and

carve off a little coin um basically we provide you with extra episodes discord channel with shout outs with merchandise and then you can support us from as little as two bucks a month absolutely and you know i don't want to hold your yeses hostage but if i don't get paid i stop believing that's just how it works i mean that's an awful attitude to have well i mean it's true right You straight up told me that at the bar last night. You said, as soon as the well dries up, I'll tell them none of it's real. I didn't. You said that.

That was after like two beers. We hadn't even started drinking yet. I think we were waiting for the first beer to get here. I had a beer at home, so I was pretty buzzed already. That must have been it then, yeah. Because I couldn't even stand up. I was stocious. We meet at

the bar at 7 p.m and i'm like those bitches don't pay us enough to say yes to podcast um yeah all jokes aside you can get t-shirts you can get bonus episodes every month um there's a whole rake of them up there and people are really enjoying them so far. Touch wood. So check it out at patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life. People who support us on Patreon, we like to shout out right here on the podcast. And that's what we're going to do right now. Let's go. Thank you to Joby.

Bon Joby himself? Legendary rock star? I think it's actually uh steve jobes the paranormal inventor he invented the ghost truly a visionary uh before his time yeah absolutely thank you thanks joby i really appreciate that thank you also to robin holy patreon donation batman robin's here to support the podcast thank you so much for taking a little break from saving the day robin uh i know batman does most of it but like you're there at least for moral support and shit yeah but you've taken some time off that to give us some moral support and we appreciate having you in our sidecar thank you to connor ingram

they call a medal of honor connor named after the fact that he would be the least likely soldier to ever receive the award after he and i defected from the front line there's no way you're ever getting one of those like what do they call like purple crosses or something absolutely not no they gave me the freaking dirt cross that's right which is just a bundle of sticks they staple to your naked chest as you run run from the sound of gunfire the coward's cross i got the coward's cross and he got the purple shart because he shit his pants when the first bomb dropped card or not connor we love you we love you man thanks for being on board here with us supporting the cast appreciate it thank you also to sean hannon hang on a minute it's sean hey you know sean may look like a pawn but he's actually a goddamn queen not a king no hell no not king. Kings are useless. There's only one king.

I'm the king. It's me. Actually, he's not even a queen. He's like a bishop. And you know what, Sean? I'm not even sure you're a bishop. I think you're like a checkerboard piece that has somehow been placed in the wrong box and was put on the chessboard accidentally. You were a monopoly car that somehow fell into the box of

chess pieces which means you know you're it's a bit of a mismatch of a character but you've made the game already more exciting absolutely i mean you can just like tokyo drift all over the chess board of course because if there's any takeaway from this ramble it is the chess is boring as shit yeah run over the king while you're at it uh thanks sean thank you also to amber amber i barely know her in fact i don't think anyone knows her i think it's actually like a code name i don't think it's probably their name at all yeah it's like code amber and that just represents a person they might even be some kind like they are so secretive they might even be like a piece of software it might be like a like a cortana-esque uh like ai or something yeah or like the nickname of a gun no one knows what amber is is it a person is it a weapon right

like in a in a 90s thriller it would turn out to be some kind of code name for like a nuclear program it's like amber is actually a doomsday device that the soviets are working on yeah project amber look whatever project amber is he she it is supporting us on patreon and we are so damn grateful it's probably not a weapons program then is it if it has a paypal account paypal yeah i don't i don't think it is i think it's probably a woman so thank you thanks amber thank you lastly but not leastly to chelsea she's coming to get us by chell land or by chelsea like one of those goddamn james bond cars that can just whoa at the flip of a switch become a boat. She's like the Terminator of humans. Yeah. She's the liquid Terminator

of humans. That's right. Just kind of bust through brick walls, flies through the air. Whatever it takes. She's just on teenagers on mopeds with a 18-wheeler. And a double-barrel shotgun. Chelsea is unstoppable. And luckily, the one thing she wants to do more than anything is support us 18 wheeler and a double barrel shotgun yeah chelsea is unstoppable yeah and luckily the

one thing she wants to do more than anything is support us on patreon we've tried to stop her as well she's giving us a dangerous amount of money like i'm pretty sure she has kids and they're i mean they're dming us being like chelsea stop buying groceries any chance we can get a kick back from all that patreon cash like my tuition at the school was actually due on tuesday and i asked her about it and she just pulled out a double barrel um you know she's she's really really uh taking this way too far and those double barrels are loaded with pennies yeah to just blast which is kind of an insult because that's not enough to pay for a child's education no uh so chelsea we appreciate the support uh maybe feed your kids um but just a little you know they

don't need much they're small don't stop we kind of like the current arrangement to be honest yeah because we're big boys we need big food so your kids are little they need little food they need a tiny amount of food pennies actually the shotgun's fine keep doing the shotgun thing change nothing actually uh thank you so much chelsea and thank you to everyone who supported us on patreon this month and every month i mean jesus we've been doing it for a while now and the only way that's been possible um we're coming up on episode 100 and that is all possible through the patreon support so true um so thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Namaste for that, seriously. And I hope you enjoyed this episode. We will be back next Tuesday

for another brand new paranormal tale. Bye-bye, folks. Ciao for now. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously

unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca.