This Paranormal Life - #102 The Owlman of Mawnan

Episode Date: February 26, 2019

For years Cornwall has been haunted by a strange beast that only seems to torment teenage girls. Who is this mysterious creature? Or should I say ... "hoot" ...Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's in Pandora's box? Should I open it? If the universe is expanding, why isn't my dick getting any bigger? All of these questions you can find the answer to on this Paranormal Life! Welcome everyone to the podcast. My name is Roy Powers, your chief paranormal investigator for this evening. I'm joined by my co-host and co-colleague co-buddy co-lover kit greer how's it going man co-chief perchance also judging by those intro questions you have problems and indeed a life like uh no other it sounds like that's true you have pandora's box it seems yeah i have pandora's box and a micro penis i think the intro made that blatantly obvious and while i'd love to talk about

those struggles my day-to-day we've got something way bigger on the plate than your penis impossible how dare you we've got a really scary case and even though it is 30 years old nay 40 years old so you were wrong the first time sure i think this is a threat that we still might face in today's world really so um this isn't just pure speculation about the paranormal but this is a goddamn psa do we need to build a bunker to hide in or not exactly i think like always we should just dive right in please the year is 1976 and we're in cornwall here in the uk i don't think that's how they talk cornwall blimey it's easter sunday weekend the sun is out. Oh, the smog is just dreadful.

Oh, bloody hell. We're in foggy old Cornwall. Everyone's enjoying the holiday, and Mr. Don Melling and his two daughters have come to Cornwall for a nice, relaxing holiday. Very popular holiday destination. Beautiful, I hear. I've never been. I don't know much about it. It sounds lovely. Corn, walls, two of my favorite things. Well, one evening, the two daughters were out for a stroll, wandering by the woods near the old church tower of Monon,

when they heard a strange noise above them. Convinced it was a local bird, they turned their heads to the sky, and that's when they saw it. Or should I say, him. What? It wasn't a local bird? Hell no! It was a huge creature, with giant feathers, piercing talons like crab claws.

So far, a bird. It was enormous, it was giant. That sounds like a bird to you? Big-ass bird, I guess. It so enormous. It was giant. That sounds like a bird to you. Big ass bird, I guess. It soared above the church, flapping its enormous bird-like wings. It's beak enormous. Okay, so it does have a beak. And if you'd seen its f***ing eggs, Kit, you wouldn't say... Okay, did it have a nest?

Of course it had a nest. It's a freaking bird-like creature. It had a nest, obviously. So what about this thing isn't bird-like? Did I mention the eggs? You know that birds lay eggs, right? The girls screamed, obviously, because this thing is way too big to be a bird,

and they ran off to try and find their father. Per girl, she was scared of birds to begin with. Let alone a giant man bird. bird now they managed to find their father and i don't know a lot about children right again i think i've made that abundantly clear in 100 episodes we've covered it on the podcast you have children have had children have fathered many children poorly almost no contact with them. Yes. Yeah, zero. Because all I know about kids is that they are liars and they are weak and they can't fight for garbage. I mean, you were so immature at the point of fathering these kids.

They, at times, really were more of a father figure to you. That's beautiful, man. I should really... It's actually disgusting. I should really tell my old man that. Kevin, coming 18 this winter. He's a good pup. Really talks to his boy now and again, though.

He should work on that, really. Because Father's Day passed and, you know, he didn't send me anything. So what age are you? Me, currently? That's classified. More than 18, though. Yes, obviously. Okay, so how can he be your dad?

He was more of a father emotionally and i was more of a pain in the ass literally so you know that you're the reason for that bad relationship look i don't have time or the care to talk about my relationship with my many many children we've got bird problems here okay so sorry no not bird it's not a bird i shouldn't have said bird we have bird-like creature problems going on here so we don't have time to talk about pandora's box your micro penis or your relationship with your father but we do have time to talk about a bird this very large bird not bird you seem confused as to whether it's a bird or not the girls meet their father tell

them all about this creature they saw and apparently the girl's testimony is so convincing that the family cuts their holiday short and immediately leaves cornwall she just came back squawking squawking waving her hands like just like the bird i mean the bird like creature yeah they were like what kind of bird was it he was enormous he was like four maybe five feet uh with his wings obviously open not with his wings closed he was the size of a bird but his beak his his beak was wanted blood i could tell that would be really hard if you saw like a really genuinely murderous terrifying bird with blood dripping from it but it was the size of a regular bird you have a hard time trying to convince anyone that that was an issue yeah because even mentally

i think you'd be like oh my god is that like should i tell someone or is that just a mad bird like at what point is it not a cryptid and it's just an insane normal animal? Yeah, like you call up the, like, RSPB or something. And you're like, I think you guys might want to know about this bird. It's like, all right, describe it to me. Yeah, that's obviously just the, that's just a Cornwall motor pigeon. Haven't you seen one before? That's a local bird?

We thought it was a local bird damn it yeah extremely local first guess was right it's like yeah if you were like walking through the park and you saw like a squirrel with the baddest case of rabies imaginable yeah and you like call up rspca and you're like is there such a thing as littlefoot like i think i found a little cryptid and it's just this squirrel like bashing its head against its nuts like going crazy he's not illegal and he's not paranormal but he is bad and i think he has to die yeah and i will you just say the word and i will do it i will mercy stomp his little foot calling the

rsbca so i've got a squirrel in a headlock and if you just say the word i will break his tiny neck i've performed a citizen's arrest all i need is for you to sign off on the citizen's execution i've performed a citizen's arrest on a local bird sir they're like we're gonna need more context do you think there's any place where you can perform a citizen's execution you know citizens arrest is like a real thing right but if you're like i have to kill you yeah for this very reason probably i can't think where that would work maybe somewhere like the north pole where all the countries are fighting over who gets to because that the north pole doesn't belong to anyone south pole doesn't

belong to anyone right so maybe the entrance to the hollow earth i could imagine like whatever scientists go out there they get like a james bond style license to kill like if you see another scientist from another country just throw them off an iceberg. Maybe we'll try it on the paranormal commune. That seems like a good... We like to experiment with new laws. We're going to A, B, A, B test a lot of laws. There's going to be a lot of trial and error going on. Also trial by fire.

Also trial by battle and combat. Lots of trials. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we do on the weekends. Well, little did these girls know they had made the right decision to leave cornwall because this story is just beginning oh later that same year two 14 year old girls named sally and barbara were camping in the woods right by the old mawan church who's letting their 14

year olds like camp out in the middle of nowhere like this? It's, what, what did I say, 1976? This was before serial killers and pedophiles. Was it? Anyone could just go out and make out. It was all fine. It seems to be that all the Netflix documentaries about serial killers are based in the 70s. Late at night,

they heard some rustling outside their tent and decided to head outside and see what it was. There, in the treetops before them, was a creature the size of a man, but with the wings of an owl. The girls said they thought it was someone trying to play a prank, so they yelled out at the figure. And that's when it took flight! The girls saw it clearly. Red eyes, sharp pincer feet oh gray feathers and a distorted owl face whoa so mostly an owl but the size of a man the size of a man i think there's some parts of it

that don't seem kind of owly okay uh you said a distorted face like a creepy owly kind of looking face but like red eyes i don't really know a lot about owls but i think red eyes is pretty weird yeah and um two sightings in the same year in the same location that's what we like to hear on starting to connect the dots here on encrypted investigations that's what we called call a golden nugget luckily you and i kit are not alone in our investigation there was a paranormal cryptid investigator very close to this case by the name of tony shields known to the locals as doc is that because he has a doctorate in some sort of scientific study or i think the opposite i think it's one of those like ironic rap names like when you call like your super large friend like smalls this is like the the town

asshole called doc yeah it's like oh is he is he a doctor does he help people no he mostly hurts people actually emotionally and physically yeah it's, he deals a lot of damage instead of repairing any damage. It usually takes up to six years to become a doctor. He got lost for six years in the woods, and no one knew what he was doing out there. Well, the girls managed to find Doc on the nearby Grebe Beach, and they told him what they had seen, the horrible half-owl, half-man.

Now, Doc had heard some stories about the creature, so he decided to conduct a little experiment. Okay. So. He dressed up as a 14-year-old girl to try and tempt the beast back to the site of the haunting. He separated the girls, got them both

to draw what they saw, and then compared them. Hmm. Oh, that makes both to draw what they saw, and then compared them. Hmm. Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, because, you know, you get these two young girls. They're obviously all, they're probably having like a bunch of candy and energy drinks in the forest. They're all, you know, juiced up. They're like telling ghost stories and stuff.

They see a little owl in the bushes, and all of a sudden they're telling these crazy stories. So I think what you need to do is separate them, try and get some clarity to see if there's any connections and consistencies between what they're talking about. That makes perfect sense. The comparison was uncanny. Bird match with bird. I mean, they're both birds. So what we have here is two telepathic little liars

that were able to connect their thoughts through the air to deceive this idiot Tony Doc, whatever his name was. Tony Doc Shields. Tony Doc Shields. This is what we have. We either have a true story, or we should be investigating

these telepathic twins capable of beaming b******t through the air. You mean telepathic twins capable of beaming b****** through the air. Imagine being telepathic, but you can only beam and read b******. Very limited. That's a real monkey paw wish right there. It's like, I want to be telepathic. And it's like, oh yeah, sure.

But the only minds you can read are just like the lowest IQ minds minds in the world two years later a young lady called miss opie saw quote a monster like a devil flying up through the trees near the old modern church all these sightings are taking place in the exact same location yeah so there's a lot of consistency not just with the location but with the time period just across a couple of years and again that similarity between the drawings quick on the case tony doc shields who was still hunting the beast wrote to the local picture library stating the old man is certainly back in business it seems i poked around his area around old mon and church a couple of days ago the atmosphere was positively cracking with what the atmosphere was positively cracking with odd presences

if you know what i mean no no one knows what you mean you crazy old hag as soon as anything really exciting happens i'll let you know it would be terrific if i really could get a picture of our feathered friend but he only seems to pop up for young girls and i ain't one well i'm glad he acknowledged that um i i love the idea of him being like i'll let you know if anything exciting happens. And they're like, oh, Jesus Christ. He's like, phones them up. Guys, you'll never believe, but I found an egg. I'm sure it's from the beast itself.

Guys, guys. I'm assuming we have some sort of Peter Parker-esque situation here where he is submitting pictures of the Owlman, which is essentially himself roaming around the woods at night against a tripod. Yeah, he's like really bigging it up to the local papers as well. It's like, everyone's talking about him on the streets. No one can identify him. He's so athletic, so jacked, so fast.

And the leaders of the newspapers are like how have you got these photos like he's dabbing in this one like in this one he's just looking straight down the lens of the camera this one is a selfie is this his camera he's just like let's just say me and the owl man are pretty good friendsink. It's like, we know it's you. Like, there's feathers on your shoulder still. We're still not interested. Even if it is you. Stop going through so much effort. We don't want the pictures. That's like the reality of, like, Spider-Man if he existed.

Isn't it? In real life. Like, a student going around in a spandex suit. Yeah. It's like, no. They're like, I got more great pictures of Spider- suit yeah it's like no they're like i got more great pictures of spider-man it's like oh thank you so much like here i'll take these and i'll make sure they get to the editor yeah thank you and there's like throws him in a cupboard with like thousands of pictures of spider-man they're like what why did you do that like that guy's

crazy he thinks people only want pictures of spider-man there's like real news going down yeah that is extremely important shit going down in new york city i know that was a little aside there that he said but that's actually part of the lore as well he really only goes after young girls yeah that's what we seem to be seeing and uh the most recent witness what age was she she was it was another woman wasn't it it was a young woman, a young lady. Yes. And I don't know her exact age. Okay.

But a lot of the girls before were talking nine, were talking 12. They were very young, but this one sounds like she's a little older. A little older. Still creepy. Yes. There's a definite predatory vibe with these sightings. Yeah, because the last thing you want is like a half owl half man is pretty bad yeah a half owl half pedophile is the most possibly terrifying beast we could

ever imagine like we're looking at a predator mixed with a sexual predator it is the worst possible combination we're talking about the apex predator of the night world except instead of an appetite for mice is an appetite for children imagine anything worse imagine a pedophile that can not only fly, but has night vision. This is a question that is not raised often enough. So what if the Sasquatch exists? But is he some sort of sexual criminal also? Because I have often been very vocal in my belief that the one reason that we don't have to fear uh sexual predators in today's world is their inability to fly yeah and once we have an airborne sexual predator it's going to be the end of days people that's a cryptid i don't want to hunt that's right if. If they learn to teleport, fly, or...

I can't think of any others. Laser vision. I guess those are the big two. Teleport and fly. We're gone. We're done. We need to get to Mars. You get to Mars and they already teleported there?

No! We should have saw this coming. It took me six months to fly here. In August, the Owlman was seen again by three young French girls. Oh, Jesus. Who were staying at a nearby boarding house. This is getting less and less creepy and paranormal and more just sad and scary. Did I mention the Owlman's in a trench coat?

He's just in a fur coat. He's in the trees. The landlady of the boarding house told Tony Dock Shields that the three girls had been frightened by something very big, like a big furry bird with a gaping mouth and round eyes. Tony left a message for the girls to contact him, but he never heard anything further. Checks out. I'm pretty sure after that whole ordeal, their parents weren't letting them contact any strange man from Cornwall anytime soon.

Yeah, nicknamed Doc. But who is absolutely not a doctor. Now, I'd never really thought of Cornwall as a particularly paranormal area. Hmm. So I decided to do a little research to see if I could find any explanation as to why this psycho owl... Right. ...would have decided to be so active in this specific period.

Right. And I discovered something mad. And I'm quoting this, okay apparently oh jesus christ apparently between the autumn of 1975 and the spring of 1977 southern cornwall was seized by a period of collective madness what what does that mean? This is incredible. Apparently this was all recorded in a book called The Owlman and Others. Okay, probably not a New York Times bestseller, but fine. The book states,

There were dramatic extremes in the weather, floods, heat waves, and the local animal life went figuratively and literally crazy. What? and the local animal life went figuratively and literally crazy. One unfortunate woman was imprisoned in her house by hordes of attacking birds, which literally beat themselves to death against the walls of her house. No. Another woman was similarly imprisoned by a mob of feral cats. This can't be real where are you reading it uh this is from a very reliable source okay cryptid chronicles.tumblr.com strike poster

2000 strikes again uh swimmers were attacked by dolphins and there were and there were swimmers were attacked by dolphins and there were reports that were swimmers were attacked by dolphins and there were reports that cattle belonging to local farmers had developed the power of teleportation okay I'm drawing the line here the most interesting

were the incredible amount of UFO sightings and the reports of three entirely different sets of mystery animals in the region whoa what i why were the animals going crazy the ufos going berserk but humans were just unaffected uh i don't know i i i just don't know okay that i've never heard of uh what is this described as a period of collective madness yeah it whatever is happening if it ever did happen i literally have never heard of anything like this happening in any case we've investigated so far

that's safe to say because sure animals going a bit mad maybe you know there's something in the water maybe the ufos or the greys are beaming some weird uh uh thoughts through the airwaves that is only registering at a frequency that animals can hear teleporting cows teleporting cars have a big issue that's i don't think i don't i don't know what that is i think that i think that is a very elderly farmer who's like whose car is just moving slightly faster than he anticipates it's like he turns around the cars like walk the other way it's like whoa how'd you get over there nelly get get get in the house margaret get in the house it won't be long before the birds come for us yeah it says um the it just ends with the statement that there were apparently three

different mystery animals in the region one called morgar the cornish sea serpent then there were the cornish mystery big cats wow and of course the most popular and most well-documented creature the owl man right right of monon what the hell so there was just some sort of like paranormal cryptid convention where the sea serpent the owl man and the mystery cats all like met up they had a meetup like a high school reunion yeah like i know people said that there was uh ufo sightings but alternatively maybe what we saw was the first attempt at an animal revolution where just the entire kingdom of mother nature tried to in one small instance revolt against all humans i mean birds kamikaze into the side of a window till they died that's crazy the problem the owl man decided to do that he goes straight

through your window you know he'd do like a a really embarrassing naruto run as well the thing that doesn't make any sense is that it's easy to say oh the animals were affected the animals went berserk and started turning on the humans humans are animals humans are mammals like we share like 99 of our dna with cabbages that's right it's like it's like like we're not that different cabbage is the shittest animal of all time presume that's why they test on animals because we're pretty much the same. So it's hard to imagine anything that would acutely affect birds and cows and not cause us to teleport or fly into windows.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this is one of the reasons I wanted to include it in this story is because, as we said, we're always trying to support the paranormal rally up the paranormal troops sometimes in these stories you have to even include the most unbelievable evidence of course on that note of unbelievable evidence you're like that was the sensible take onto the paranormal explanation we need to talk about Tony. Oh, great.

The mysterious cryptid hunter. Here we go. All right. Apparently, because so many of the sightings of this creature are linked to Tony, a lot of people believe that he's somewhat fabricating the stories. Granted. Granted. Around Halloween in 1986, Tony was accused by the Bishop of Truro of having committed unspeakable acts of blasphemy inside the Monon Church, trying to invoke a reaction from the Owlman. Whoa.

I don't know what that means. What does that mean? Like, is he like... We gotta know. Is he chugging beers and, like, fistfighting other owls that he's rented from my sanctuary yeah i mean yeah that's quite dark what is unspeakable acts of blasphemy like speak them like they might be illegal yeah well to be fair regarding the incident tony said i did a few bits and pieces inside the church there was a lot of misreporting that i was throwing out

challenges to god and saying i'd smack him in the gob i don't think god has a gob and i jesus christ and i wouldn't do that anyway to the deity he'd give me a harder smack back wouldn't he i almost believe him because he's so obviously mad. I'm like, he kind of doesn't have any reason to lie. Yeah. Yeah, I did look up. So I googled his name because his name came up so much in this story that I was like, okay, he's obviously someone who's at least reputable. Yeah.

And he does have a Wikipedia page that when I did click on it, and I can't remember if he's either a self-proclaimed magician or wizard. And that distinction seems really important. Very. Let me just double check. I think I can guess because I think many people probably call themselves wizards, but I don't think anyone in history has ever been called a wizard he is a he's a magician why does this man have a wikipedia page he's obviously so he's like well known for magic i guess although jesus i'm just literally i picked one line from his wikipedia article and it said he had several solo exhibitions in london before leaving st ives following a

drunken incident in which he threatened police with a gun that he'd obtained from a painter oh my god so so i just i wanted to bring this up because um i wanted to bring this up because he's our most credible witness and i think we have to lay our chips down on the table and, you know, be quite honest with the fact that he pointed a gun at a police officer. Why does a magician need a gun? Who is this man? You should not be hanging out with young children, hanging out in churches at night, be a magician and also have a gun do you think he's like when the police were trying to arrest him he was like all right all right just look let me do one one final trick no no funny business no funny no funny business just pick a card and they pick it

it's like shuffle back it back into the deck and he's like okay and then he like you know puts it in his like coat jacket and he's like is this your card and they're like oh my god is abracadabra like firing off he's completely lost it takes off into the night naruto running with his bird wing spread yeah i'm not sure if we necessarily want to credit him as a trustworthy witness. Yeah, I have a lot of mixed feelings about this guy. I think it's a little unfortunate that the one person behind the wheels of this investigation up to this point is so clearly a maniac. Of course. It doesn't do the story much justice. But unfortunately, that maniac is all we have we have kit because it's time for conclusions

what are your thoughts on the mysterious owl man of morning one like little interesting thing about the concept of all these animals going crazy this period of madness in cornwall in the 70s is it does remind me of a story from kind of the middle ages and i might have brought it up on the podcast before but it there's a theory behind why the witch trials of kind of took place and one of those theories is that two words folks teleporting cows there were theories that there were witches in the town and as soon as that milk went from field to field in a

flash, someone's getting burnt. They didn't care who. They didn't care moo. They didn't give a shit. We're talking teleporting milk. You would pour a glass of milk. You would go to drink it. Suddenly it would be back in the goddamn jug. Right back in the udder itself one of the theories was that everyone at that time relied on the harvest of grains of wheat and barley and things like that of course and that when you look at the

geological records we can see that at different points in the middle ages there were uh like late frosts i guess what that means is that the harvest froze and then partially rotted or fermented so whenever it was harvested and people needed to eat it to survive it had undergone these chemical changes and people have theorized that you can actually achieve um a type of fungus called ergot that way right which creates a chemical which is a direct analog of lsd and we're able to reproduce that today and it's been theorized that it the entire populations of these english french villages places like that they might have all been tripping for like the better part of a year on this natural drug well that kind of goes in tune with like the first thing they said about this period of collective madness was that there were dramatic

extremes in the weather floods and heat waves i mean if that had affected the crops and livelihood of these people maybe we're looking at the reason why i mean i'm gonna go ahead and assume the cows didn't teleport right if someone's off their tits on lsd that's the that's the least the cow's gonna do it's gonna be backflipping and talking to you in french it's gonna be setting guitars on fire and playing the star spangled banner absolutely drinking its own milk somehow it's gonna be crazy so at least that's a possible explanation it is one but then we have to face the facts of the owl man himself yeah at some point we have to tackle this this difficult uh character yeah known as the owl man i mean like we have to acknowledge that all signs point towards tony being the owl man

uh that is a possibility sure and because quite a high one a man that looks like an owl shows up scares some children i never said he looked like an owl and then very shortly afterwards tony turns up to interview the children about their experience with the aisle matt sure tony is tall he's got long hair uh he flaps his arms about sometimes when he gets nervous he's known to hoot sometimes he does like it's like a tick can't sleep much during the day he can't he's he is nocturnal yeah um granted he is a member of that church he's a community actually of course yeah well it's a local church um and he eats rats i don't know what i don't have an explanation for that i think the dude's just a bit weird

he's a little kooky yeah he's a little kooky eccentric does that mean he's the owl man possibly yes quite possibly i don't think we need to dwell on this one too much because i think it's pretty much an open and shut case uh real right i don't think we've ever said that before about a case but yes uh it is an open and shut case yeah i think this is gonna be a double no this week folks there's no crazy preamble here i think we can all agree let's get right down to it the owl man of monan is not real as far as i can Yeah. Thank you so much to that listener submission from Olivia Nash and also Aaron Bully. The submissions we've been getting recently have been amazing, guys, and it's really great to see so much enthusiasm for the paranormal in our audience.

So if you have any cases that have either happened to you or you really want us to tackle, make sure to email them in to thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com. I think that about wraps it up for the case of the Owlman. So I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. As you know, we don't do ads. We do a little thing called P-P-P-Patreon, where every month you can get a little bit of extra content, depending on how much you're willing

to support us now we don't even have a lot of tiers so one of our lowest ones the five dollar tier will now get you a huge backlog of bonus episodes that's right so if you're interested in getting some bonus content if you just can't quit that paranormal shit then then uh get help first off log off get help go see the doc aka me go see rory doc powers i was lost in the woods for 12 years which means i'm twice as smart and i've got just a prescription for you 200 cc's of the, aka this paranormal life bonus episodes. So definitely go on Patreon, check out any of the rewards you want, and email in your submissions to the podcast.

And as always, for the people that do support us on the podcast, what we like to do is give you a special shout-out at the end of our show. So... Oh, a special thanks to... Gary Sturt! If it isn't sturt little barely saw you there buddy the tiniest little paranormal investigator in the world fits in your pocket which means he's perfect for any adventure he's known to eat a lot of your cheese like a little paranormal mouse um but nonetheless i think it's good to have him on board I'll just take twice as much cheese and then we get to benefit from his company.

No, he'll find it. He'll eat all the cheese. If you bring twice as much, he's eaten twice as much. I'll bring four times as much. He's- no, he's gonna eat. He's gonna eat till the cheese is gone. He's tiny though, where does it go? I have no idea. The dude's like a black hole for cheese. But thank you anyway for your support. Thank you also to Stephen Horn! Let the horns ring out for Stephen! The angels

sing as Stephen descends from the heavens above to place a single coin in the bucket of the paranormal peasants as we bow down and kiss his dirty sandals. Thank you so much for your support, Steven. Please wash your sandals.

It's so gross. I'll still do it. Obviously. As long as the money keeps coming, I'll kiss anything. Thank you also to Michael Steinmetz. Hey, are you a Mets fan? Yeah, I'm a Mets fan. I'm a Michael Steinmetz fan.

That's right. He is the first person in Major League history to take to the field entirely on his own. It's really phenomenal. Playing every position? Every position. That's crazy. He home runs and strikes out all at the same damn time.

Really something you gotta see. Must take a lot of brain power they should call them einstein mets oh boom thank you so much for your support thank you to josh cooper josh cooper the man who killed his own looper what the only one to ever do it oh my god he closed the loop i don't remember the premise of that movie but never close your own i never saw the goddamn movie but i know you don't close your loop yeah because wasn't weren't wasn't your looper you from the future yes so like that's probably the one person you shouldn't kill is yourself yeah not at all but he did it anyway cooper the badass he showed up from the future

was like listen it's me it's you from the future i've got, listen, it's me. It's you from the future. I've got you. And he just went. Tony style. He just asked no questions. Shot first. Love it. You badass, Cooper.

Thanks for supporting us. Thank you also to Laura Brewer. Anyone with the word brew in their name, I assume is automatically a witch. Is that a judgment on Laura? Absolutely. It absolutely is. All I'm going to say is, if she's not a witch, why am I not a frog?

As soon as I insulted her. I mean, that can't be a coincidence, right, Ribbit? It was instantaneous. It was really fast. All I know is, I'm cursed and flies look delicious now. Laura, thank you for supporting me and turning me into a creature that also has no value for money um that is a cruel cruel witchy joke but um I'm glad Kit can still enjoy your support more for me thanks Laura make me some flies please oh she

turned me into a fly oh dude don't do it I'm hungry as shit, man. I got to. Thank you, lastly, but not leastly, to Matthew Cain Whitwell. This is such a badass name because not only is it Matthew Cain, like a cane, like you would whack someone with cane. It also is, the last part sounds like the crack of a whip. Ooh. Whitwell. Sounds like the crack of a whip. Ooh.

Whip well. So I assume this guy is dual wielding cane and whip to like whack and then whip well. Whoa. It's pretty badass. He's like an old Indiana Jones. He's old, whatever he is anyway. No one's rocking it like that anymore. So thanks, old Indy.

And thank you to everyone who supported us on patreon up to now we do still have a little bit of a backlog of um people to catch up on but we are getting there episode by episode thank you for being patient sticking with us as always if you pledged a really long time ago you think we might have missed it do let us know um on socials or by email um and we'll get to it as soon as possible. But we think we're making way. And otherwise, we will see you next week for a brand new paranormal tale. Bye-bye, folks. Ciao.