This Paranormal Life - #104 Cicada 3301: The Secret Internet Cult

Episode Date: March 13, 2019

One day, a strange message that appeared on 4Chan kickstarted one of the greatest mysteries on the internet...Who or what is Cicada 3301?Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can the FBI send poison through email? Why can't I put a fork in the toaster? What don't they want me to find? All these questions you can find the answer to on this Paranormal Live! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, everybody. How's it going? We are coming at you. It's a paranormal day.

It's Tuesday. And if you haven't listened to this show before, we are a comedy podcast where every week we investigate the paranormal. And we come to a conclusion at the end of our episode whether or not the paranormal entity or tale that we have investigated is true or false. I'm your host for today, Rory Magic Powers, joined by my co-host and paranormal professional pal, Kit Greer. How you doing, Kit? Doing great pal kit greer how you doing kit doing great yeah how are you doing today i'm doing fantastic i'm actually really excited about the case that we're looking into today because it's you know this is called it's called this paranormal life yeah all right folks i'm not gonna i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna hide behind that fact anymore listen

no you know we're paranormal and proud everyone Exactly we wear that pee on our chests But it's time to To shed the pee And don the sea Because this week we're looking at a conspiracy Oh shit Because what's more paranormal

Than a group of old white men Running the world That's pretty freaking weird to me. It's definitely weird. We've definitely had just a goddamn treasure trove of suggestions from people to our email address, thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com over the years of various conspiracies.

And you're right, we've kind of shied away from it. We've not really covered that many of them. And I'm so proud, as you said, that after all of these emails have finally come in uh to look at them and say f**k off i found a different one and i'm gonna do this one so your suggestions were very i'm grateful for them but stop they're irrelevant yeah i'm the professional i'm the p okay can i make that any more clear? Though we said P was paranormal. Right. Sorry. I'm the professional. Yeah?

P. Wait, no, I'm the P paranormal investigator? I'm sorry. We shouldn't be in like so. I'm C, confused. I thought C was conspiracy. Shit! Is it H in here? Oh my god, oh my G. I just admitted to being a conspiracy of myself.

Alright, let's get this S started. That was show, not shit, by the way. I'm gonna stop using S's to say words. I'm not scared of saying shit. I'll say it if I want. I'm scared of saying show. This is getting very C for confusing, not conspiracy. All right, let's get S started. The date is the 4th of G, January. J. The date is the 4th of G, January. J, I meant. The date is the 4th of January, 2012. We're on a little website called 4chan. All right, on this site, a random user posted an image under the forward slash random board.

This picture was written text and it had the following message. It said, Hello, we are looking for highly intelligent individuals. To find them, we have devised a test. Find it and it will lead you on the road to finding us. We look forward to meeting the few that will make it all the way through. Good luck. The message was signed 3301.

I mean, cool, right? Pretty darn cool. Paranormal investigators like us, you know, when there's a challenge posed in front of us, I gotta follow it. I gotta follow that treasure map. That's right. Whether it's found as a physical map or uh an internet treasure hunt like this the problem for me is that i see those

things i get really excited i go wow a secret cabal of um global intelligence that i could be a part of unfortunately i was cursed with a shit brain and i'm never smart enough for these puzzles but i do try them all that's a shame like very few of these puzzles are measured on how passionate you are for solving them yeah almost none it's not just like who has the heart to to follow us yeah uh it's always like are you good at math and shit yeah which neither of us are very good at yeah and actually uh most people who are leaders in their field don't just have heart you know people will talk a lot about even fictional figures such as captain america that he's full of heart and courage and bravery yeah but uh he's also six foot five and

jacked and uh has superhuman abilities so the heart actually comes pretty far down the list yeah neil armstrong wasn't just the man who wanted to go to the moon the most like he was a super highly intelligent fully trained astronaut yeah with decades of service and just line people up and be like which one of you son of the bitches wants to go to the moon and you know someone's like yeah i i think i'd really like to go i think i'd love it and neil's like i will die right here on this spot to go to that moon i was like well uh neil your proposition sounds great but there's actually an infant over here who's straight up crying over the fact that they can't go to the

moon so i frankly think this child is the one for the job neil drop kicks him if that proves anything it proves that i am worthy all right i'm scared'm scared he's going to do this to more children on Earth. So we need to put it where there are no children. No children at all. It's the ultimate child crime sentence. While on the surface, this message didn't seem like anything serious, it was about to kickstart an internet-wide conspiracy. Huh.

You see, kid, if you downloaded the image that was posted and opened it in a text editor, a code could be deciphered, which revealed a hyperlink to a new picture, which when examined led to the address of a secret subreddit, which... Okay, right off the bat, this is throwing into speculation the tier of conspiracy that's going on here, because this potential international cabal of intelligence operatives, they use subreddit and 4chan primarily?

It's, you know, you're talking to the people on the level at which they are accustomed to. I get it. If you're looking for people, smart people in the everyday world, you're going to say, hey, let's looking for people smart people in the everyday world you're going to say hey let's meet at starbucks yeah talk about your job you're going to be like okay meet me at the freemasonry sacrificial chambers fair you build to that once you've got your lattes you'll take the bus like you're not going to send them a hyperlink to a cia chat room no no fair that's fair actually uh well we're already going to get weirder because on the secret subreddit it talked about an old book named the mabinogen which when read alongside a provided

code revealed a phone number just a phone number well because of the complexity of the puzzle people are already becoming obsessed with this challenge. And before you know it, rumors start to fly around about who or what exactly is 3301. Some people believed it was a private organization looking for new members. Others thought it was top levels of government looking for cryptology specialists for code breaking. Mhm, could be. Others thought it could even be a way into a shady, Illuminati-style organization who run the world from the shadows. The only way to find out was to call that number.

Very true. When the few who had made it this far called the number, they were met with this message. Very good. You have done well. There are three prime numbers associated with the original final dot jpeg image. 3301 is one of them. You will have to find the other two. Multiply all three of these numbers together and add a dot com on the end to find the next step good luck goodbye interesting it is quite interesting maybe not the uh you know the x of the treasure that people were looking for no it seems like the the puzzle's still going they're they're trying to weed out the competition a little further exactly and as we know the original post that they're referring to, that original JPEG, only had one number, 3301, which was the signature.

But people discovered the two missing prime numbers that the message referred to was the picture's width and height. The dimensions of the image itself. Yeah, that's thinking outside the box all right after solving this mystery and following onward to the url the few people that made it this far were greeted by two things a picture of a cicada and a countdown oh shit creepy right this is some lost shit this is dope it's free it was really freaky when i saw the images of the website to start do you know what a cicada is it's a bug right it is a bug it's the noisy bug that you hear in animal crossing yeah yeah that's because we don't have them here do we i don't do not believe so um so

for those of you don't listen at home i included a brief description a cicada is a bug that in its youth buries itself underground where it feeds and tunnels for up to 17 years holy shit uh before it emerges as an adult whoa i did not know that isn't that crazy a lot more respect uh also all of the bugs in one location are developmentally synchronized meaning uh they all emerge as adults at the same time. Wow. Like you could see how as like a underground organization, you would pick the cicada to be like, that's us, man.

Like we, as infants, bury ourselves. We create these communities. We're all developmentally linked. And then at the moment of strike, we rise from the dirt to make noise at night we are noisy as shit we will light up the forest with our many buggy voices i can see that and generally create a peaceful nighttime atmosphere that people will load up youtube playlists off whenever they feel lonely lo-fi cicada beats to study to it's not the worst like uh hey it's a pretty good mascot

as far as so as far as a shady organization goes because like people already have spiders spider-man yeah he's got the spiders on lockdown bats batman what you need if you're an organization is you need like a creature that works together. Some sort of creature that wears a goddamn suit and tie and spends his days undermining international governments. But not one that's like lame, like a worm. Like you don't want your organization to be a worm. Like we are the worms. Worm 3301.

We are the bumblebees. We work together. We may appear soft and cuddly. And yes, we make sweet delicious honey once attempted stinging we'll take our own lives yes our brains are the size of raisins yeah there's a delicate balance of of what animal you pick i mean as a side note cicada is mostly good but they also when they emerge as adults only have four weeks to have sex until they die it's a really bad hibernation to life ratio yeah it's terrible awful 17 years

to what four weeks because if all you're gonna do when you get out of the dirt is try and have as much sex as possible are you just spending like 17 years in the ground trying to get as jacked and handsome as possible so when you emerge you're like i'm ready it's pretty much the attitude of like a really stupid bro at college yeah it's like he's like i'm gonna live fast and i'm gonna die young i'm gonna party till i die it's like you've been a baby until you were 18 you've just been let loose and now you're gonna drink until you die are you kidding me he's part of the fraternity alpha omega cicada the bros that spent 17 years as a baby and now come out ready to rage um i'm gonna i'm gonna go ahead and say overall cool bug

cool bug is a mascot yeah as far as bugs go pretty darn cool yeah well when the ominous countdown ended viewers weren't met with a congratulations or an invitation to join this secret organization of course not but instead a list of strange coordinates 14 different locations all across the world we're talking north america europe asia all the big continents all the biggies so it seemed like the next step was flying to one of these locations holy crap so it's getting physical yeah so this has gone from being just like a little 4chan little little circle jerk, little weeby nerd weekend activity to being a borderline Da Vinci Code level hunt. Yeah, I guess maybe this is where it becomes about passion. It's like, all right, we know you've got a big old nerd brain.

Yeah. But do you have a fat wallet where you can... I was going to gonna say it's mostly about financial mobility yeah because either you're born close to one of these locations or you believe in this so naively that you're ready to just fly blindly to any one of these locations all over the world yeah are you out at this point do you think you could make it this far what if i was in it if you were in it and it's like you gotta go to singapore well like i said i'm pretty stupid so i think i would have most trouble with the first puzzles if i got this far i might feel pretty emotionally invested in doing it

singapore is pretty far away though uh i'd like to think i'd be up for it i think if i was in the chat room talking to other people and like there was a real buzz about this thing i might be pretty tempted what about you i'm probably be in the same boat because i think even if i was like one-on-one what's happened with cicada and i and i they're just like congratulations you've made it very deep into our puzzle you were clearly the brightest of the bright and i'm like thank you so much my secret uh tunneling bug sex addicted overlords i will serve you until the light in the sky fades i will never end my quest of knowledge and the pursuit to join this incredible organization they're like great to hear next year you must travel you must travel to southeast asia oh man i thought i thought this was

like uh i thought it was gonna be like another online thing you said you would help us until the sun died i know i know but but I thought it was like, sure. That's an incredibly elaborate metaphor for your dedication. I just assumed the next one, because you've done like, you know, a Reddit puzzle and then like a book code. So I figured, you know, I'll do the next forum or whatever it was. It will take all of your worldly possessions, may even take your life. I don't know. I just like, I started piano lessons like three weeks ago.

Piano lessons? To throw all that away seems a bit wild. Jesus Christ. What, what is this? What do y'all do? What does it rhyme with? If we throw in piano lessons in Singapore, will you come? Um...

You said piano was the hinge. What could we possibly offer you that would make you accept? So obviously not wanting to go. Yeah Well the people who thought that this was truly the master test for an illuminati style Organization weren't about to give up now and a number of them actually traveled to these locations on the map. Whoa The puzzle solvers showed up lost confused they had no idea what they were even looking for no but at every single location was a sheet of white paper with the printed insignia of the cicada is that it holy shit would you be annoyed below

the insignia was a qr code that when scanned led to an image that contained a riddle that went to a book until finally i bet it's not finally as well until finally they reached the next clue that read to a to a riddle that led to a reddit um i feel like some of these steps aren't even hard they're just steps like a qr code at that point you could just write the information everyone knows what a qr code is also you sent this dude all the way to singapore like you know it would have been so pissed if you were like listen mike i'm not gonna be able to make my piano lessons actually for the next six months, dude. I'm giving it up. I'm joining Cicada.

You get on that flight. You fly over to the you think there's going to be a guy in a robe with like a chalice for you to drink of. But you don't know that you're in on Main Street in Singapore where there's just a printout of a Cicada and a QR code. At this point point you check the group chat on whatsapp by the way and like six of the guys were like oh guys you don't need to travel we'll just take a photo for you here's the qr code you're like well well the list of puzzles from the qr code onward ended up at another website. But this is where our story takes a strange turn, Kit. Oh.

You see, obviously through this test, there's been a select few people who are solving all the riddles, and the answers are leaking online for the rest of the idiots and sheeple to follow. So when this website was discovered, everyone typed in the address and headed over to find the next clue. But the website was shut down. And all that remained was the message. We want the best, not the followers.

Oh, I see, I see. After this website, the very few remaining who had managed to make it through were left with one final challenge. That when completed, would land them at the finish line, and possible entry into the secret organization named Cicada. So I know what you're thinking. What was this final challenge? Well, after a month of silence, there was a new post on the subreddit. It said,

Hello. We have now on the subreddit. It said, Hello. We have now found the individuals we sought. Thus, our month long journey ends. For now. Thoughts? We would like to extend an offer to the candidates. An area manager

post at Wendy's. 19k dollars per annum. Only the best of the best can work at Wendy's. It's like, we will now start our new search for only the best janitors in the world. But they haven't changed the quiz at all. It's like, inside this message is hidden five prime numbers. It's like, we don't know this. I thought this was going to be about cleaning shit.

No, stick with the puzzle. We've included mops and buckets later down the line. What are your thoughts? I mean, I'm definitely thrown off by the fact that they're using such popular mediums such as 4chan, Reddit, QR codes. That's fair. Dotcoms. I mean, at least do a dot ch for switzerland yeah it definitely makes it seem somehow more amateur yeah like it could be a

private organization of hackers for example rather than a state-run institution um something like that i could see that but it's a pretty broad spectrum of what we're going for here i mean at the same time i don't want to downplay it because this is not international they've gone to multiple countries it's not just one person pranking them yeah i think it's at least five people pranking them it's definitely if it is an independent group they're very uh spread out and um there's probably a high number of them at the very least it definitely uh does strike you as kind of like a viral hiring campaign like i that's why i joke that i almost could imagine it being for some like even like even something to do with

government um yeah because i i think i'm right in saying that during the war to hire code breakers for um the war effort i think they did actually put out puzzles in the british newspapers and things like that because they were trying to find people who maybe hadn't been trained in code breaking but they were like we need every brilliant mind we can get to try and break the enigma code that the germans were using so this could be just a way of finding the brightest and best because you can't just go to monster.com or indeed and find like some ultra genius absolutely you have to put up a freaking reddit post that says would you go straight to 4chan i forgot it was on 4chan i take back a lot

of what i just said i also love the idea of like a super high up like 55 year old military professional who has fought in wars by the way killed man posting a video on 4chan that's like would you like to join daddy long legs 418 selects group of special hackers he's like this is this is horse shit just him like sitting there and he's like i've used facebook before i couldn't definitely work out 4chan oh jesus so i'm posting it in forward slash random is who will see that though is this is this post public keith can you help did you post on 4chan it's like sir you signed it colonel matherson you can't use your name can i delete that change it to colonel daddy long legs that's still colonel they'll know you're from the military. While unfortunately, I don't have the damn time, frankly, or care to talk about everything that happened with Cicada 3301.

Sure. I mean, it took a damn month. We don't have that. Yeah. If you do want to know everything, there is a fantastic video on YouTube called Cicada 3301, An Internet Mystery. Cool. Which is very well produced has a lot of the facts but there is something else that I definitely should mention over the next few years two more messages were actually posted by Cicada

on the hunt for intelligent individuals hmm we're looking at the same thing again more codes more deciphering but this time one trail led to a strange book named liber primus okay which is latin for the first book this whole book was written in a runic alphabet and to this day it largely remains undeciphered oh but what has been translated has been compared to the dark manifestos of a cult so it's believed that the liber primus was actually written by cicada yeah and it's this it's this massive book i don't remember the the ratio but I think it's like 14 pages maybe have been translated and there's like 50 something that remain completely untranslated. Okay, so this is some kind of manifesto of the cicada potentially cult? Yeah, and some of it is really strange.

Like you can go online and see the pages that have been translated, but some of it, You can go online and see the pages that have been translated, but some of it, like one page reads, Most things are not worth preserving. There is nothing to be right about. To belong is death. Jesus, man. A lot of genuinely creepy stuff that I don't know why you necessarily needed the most intellectual people on earth. Because if you're hiring or trying to get people on board for a cult, we've never done before no we've absolutely no experience we've got people on board for a commune before you know you're not going to look at the most intelligent individuals in the world you're going to look at you know people who listen to podcasts yeah you know you're going to pick

impressionable dum-dums yeah to for lack of a better word well i'm glad you said i didn't want to say because they're the ones that are going to join the cult commune commune they're going to join the commune you know because they they're as you said they're impressionable dumb dumbs that you said so it seems weird that they're going over after the most uh intellectual people the fact that it's in a runic alphabet that it references latin this throws us a little bit further back in that like da vinci code level hunt yeah um it's it's definitely a bit more archaic um and then it sort of elicits all kind of thoughts about like ancient secret societies it sounds a little bit like something like the stonemasons might do right you know information passed on through generations only to be held by select

committees of the most elite and that definitely gives it a creepier vibe because suddenly this is less about we want to find the best people for a job you know we're trying to we're trying to hack a goddamn russian state server we need the best and best and brightest to do that and now it's more about we have select information that only the best can be entrusted with yeah and then it's like well what is that information it seems to be kind of cryptic stuff about i don't know annihilation and how society uh said something there about to fit in is death uh it said uh to belong is dead to belong is death okay which is kind of weird because the cicada literally belongs for its whole life it is the least independent bug it's not very nomadic or anything no it literally stays with

everyone does the same thing as everyone and then then emerges, tries to have sex, and inevitably dies with everyone. Yeah. I mean, if you want to be, like, more of a renegade, I would go for, like, um, maybe an ant. No, not an ant. They're even bigger cowards than cicadas. What is the most rebellious goddamn insect beast of the insect world? Hmm.

Of the insect world? Insect world. Uh, i think a praying mantis yeah that thing does not belong anywhere i think the whole their whole thing is like even the female it has sex with the male and then like eats his head i think just kills him instantly cool uh that's kind of how they get on also they look evil look evil as shit. Yeah, but they get you on board by like, oh, don't hurt me. I'm just a praying mantis. Oh, please. Oh, father in heaven, please don't.

Yeah! And then they'll like triple backflip, like decapitate you completely. And it's that anime thing where it goes, and you think you're fine. You're okay. And then your head starts sliding to one side. Slides off, that's right.

Big old diagonal slice. Exactly. Yeah, I'd go for that the praying mantises or manti the praying manti don't know so lots of different layers to this cicada the official organization have posted more messages since then but it seems like whatever people need to move to the next step or get further into this organization, the information is in the LibrePremis. But no one can decipher it. And we're talking like people who spent years trying to crack this code. I mean, you can go online. All the pages have been scanned and leaked from the book. But yeah, there's just pages and pages that no one can decipher the code so no one really

knows what either the secrets of the organization are or what the next step is to lead you further into the organization this sort of seems tricky as well because um i think there's like a two-factored issue with solving the labor premise uh where potentially the people who are most invested and who have the time to spend and trying to crack this code probably aren't like professional cryptologists people that break codes like i feel like yeah the people who could do this aren't on the case which is ridiculous frankly if you ask me i mean as humans our priorities are all in whack. You know, you got so many people making the new iPhone. You got so many people working on renewable energy. Working on pie-in-the-sky notions such as climate change when we've got...

We have the Libra Primus. We have the Libra Primus. In our possession, folks. Which we have wanted for a long time, can I say. Do I have to restate the struggles that we went through? The puzzle led to a book. The book led to a subreddit folks we have the end game we have the answers but people are building wind farms solar panels they're fighting each other with nuclear weapons when we should have every man woman and child studying runic alphabets from morning until the sun in the sky dies,

which I referenced earlier, I think, in this story, in pursuit of the ultimate truth, which I believe is the Libra Primus. I really believe that in our lifetime, the Libra Primus will actually replace the King James Bible as being the book that is in every hotel drawer. Of course. Like it will recite it at schools in the morning, you know, pledging allegiance to the flag. No, people will salute a JPEG of the cicada.

They will recite. Why a JPEG? They will salute a QR code stapled to the wall and pledge allegiance to cicada the ultimate brain and these copies of the libra primus will not have to be translated to english because everyone will know the runic alphabet at that point exactly it will be the first language of a glorious new utopia i can't wait to know what the incredible truth is for the book yeah even if it was like teach everyone runic yeah and we do that and we're like oh my god we all save like 20 minutes a day because runic is easier to speak than english yeah or maybe you know it's like hey

want to know how to solve world hunger and you turn the page and it just says in runic eat this book and you're like what and you start eating the book and you realize they've created some sort of wafer thin nutritional paper yeah that can sustain human life for a hundred years all of these could be true it's incredible but we'll never know because people won't get off their asses stop going to space to look for the answers because the answers are in an old book that i found on 4chan all right put that on my tombstone my cicada insignia to tombstone i thought you were gonna say the answer to world hunger eat cicadas we all know that they're developmentally linked uh so freaking just put a net over the

ground when those bastards pop up to bang, you know, you're eating for, you're eating for months, really. That's right. Wow. What a journey we've been through many, many leads from the internet. We've gone to all these locations across the world. Um, there's so many other loose ends that I won't talk about like people online who allegedly made it into cicada who have tried to divulge what the organization was but essentially there's no way to guarantee

anyone or any one of those people were actually telling the truth because there's no way to verify it obviously yeah there's no like unanimous agreement on any one person who's managed to solve the puzzle through to the very end. The one cool thing was that every post that Cicada used or posted used a PGP signature, which is an authentication code that could verify that it was an authentic message. So at least we knew that everything coming from cicada was from cicada that's pretty interesting yeah so it wasn't like a splint it wasn't people trying to hijack the story or anything these were all authentic posts because i quickly could have descended into the final test of cicada 3301 is to debit 200 into the following bank account. Exactly.

Prove your loyalty with money. Yeah, that could have easily happened. Yeah. But luckily we had the authentication code, so everything was just fine. Unfortunately, that brings us to the end of our story. Cicada 3301, this incredible online mystery. It's kind of unsolved. is installed it's it's ongoing

as we said the next step and the the final answer is is here it's in the liber primus we're just waiting for a brain big enough to be able to uh decipher this runic alphabet holy shit so if there is someone out there in the paranormal commune who has, they think they have the heart, they have the balls, they have the gall in order to solve this once and for all. Wow, that was rhyming. Look into this. Yeah, I just realized that I can just show you some cool pages from the Libra Primus, which I haven't done yet. Dope. Yeah, we should post these on social or on the paranormal Patreon.

Yeah, see if anyone can crack the code. If you scroll down this page, you can see some of the translated pages already. Oh, so this is all translated. So the words to the side are translated? Yeah, the words to the side are the translated words. Cool. So right off the bat, this book, I mean, it looks like some shit from Lord of the Rings. It's that, like, archaic looking.

Oh, yeah. So I'm just going to read some of what it says on the side. Believe nothing from this book. So right off the bat. I wish you hadn't started there. They're telling us what's what here. Accept what you know to be true. Okay.

Test the knowledge. Find your truth. Experience your true. Okay. Test the knowledge. Find your truth. Experience your death. Whoa. Do not... That's a good turn. Do not edit or change this book or the message contained within. It also says do four unreasonable things each day.

Wait, do four unreasonable things? What constitutes unreasonable? Like not good anyway. Yeah, that sounds bad, right? That's like kicking a homeless guy's like jar of change over in the street or something. That's completely unreasonable. Yeah, because unreasonable doesn't suggest like, it's not saying like do something out of your comfort zone every day.

No, no, no. Do something frowned upon by society every day. That's not good. That's not good advice. Jesus. So, I mean, we won't read it all out but there is quite a lot that has been uh translated um but then this article goes on to list all the pages which have not been translated just yet but yeah it reads like a weird little like ancient text there's all sorts of diagrams. There's a man lying and what looks like to be dead. There's two twin women

standing side by side alongside some cicadas. Well, that about leads us to our conclusion, Kit. Sure. That's the last clue in this treasure hunt of a story. It's time for our final step,

conclusions. What are your thoughts? Kind of a new precedent here. We haven't really covered that many conspiracies before. This is something that pretty much isn't paranormal. We don't get to talk about that. It's true. But I suppose what we're trying to work out is whether this is a hoax or not.

Yeah. Whether this is real. I don't know. Do I feel like the last step of this puzzle that we've seen so far is a little disappointing maybe that that text like what we're what has been translated doesn't seem to be that earth shattering yeah and it looks kind of cool but like i even looking at that i i can't imagine that the you know 30 missing pages are going to say something that's going to change the world not i kind of look at it as like the scientology thing where it's like the deeper

you get into scientology they'll like tell you more of the secrets but it's like what what are you going to say with like a human mouth yeah it's going to be worth the time. Yeah. And effort you've put in to get that far. Yeah. It's just going to be more secrets or like babbling or like legends or stories. Yeah. Yeah. Like in Scientology. So you've got your elder, someone who is like Theta 33 or whatever the f*** they call them.

Sure. And they are like, soon, soon, Rory, you will be able to hold within your heart the truths of Th 32 yeah but until this point i can't utter a word of it and when you hear it you will know boundless power right uh but then you're like well you know it and you drive a honda yeah and eat a packed lunch every day so like how much is it going to change my life? Yeah. How earth shattering is it? Like you're wearing Nikes right now. Like you're a normal dude. Yeah. Like I wear Nikes, you wear Nikes. We're the same on that way. Exactly. The

whole thing, the whole point of Jesus as a entity, as a phenomenon is that he came to earth supposedly and he was like yo i'm from upstairs my dad made everything i know everything's gonna happen anything has happened i know every universal truth everyone was like right well how do we know and then he walked on water turned water into wine lots of water-based things actually yeah um he like made water balloons like just in his hands people yeah yeah sinners mostly cured the water balloons like just in his hands held them at people yeah yeah sinners mostly cured the sick things like that that were impossible right and then people went jesus christ hallelujah you must be telling the truth because you obviously do have some untapped power that we all want so then they all followed him around but like i just think if you have uncovered some

sort of deep universal truth or some sort of next level of human understanding, you're still posting on 4chan though. Yeah, I know what you mean. Like the undeciphered pages of that runic text, unless they are literally a spell that I can recite and flames will appear in my hands, you know, I don don't know what it's gonna be that's gonna be so earth-shattering yeah because it seems to be so far from the translations just cryptic messages about life and truth and death i guess if you had to come down on a conclusion on whether or not this is a super secret shady illuminati style organization or i mean not to do any disservice or insult them but maybe just a independent group of underground kind of like cyber warrior hackers i think to keep in theme with our previous episodes i think the cyber hacker underground teens are a no yes i think that's definitely the no on this new structured episode and in that theme this is a no yeah if our conclusion for the regular show is is this paranormal i guess this

is is this a conspiracy right and i don't think this is a conspiracy no i don't think it's classified or linked to any form of conspiracy i don't even think it's a real secret society necessarily i don't know well i guess it could be yeah i don't even think it's a real secret society necessarily i don't know well i guess it could be yeah i don't know what really constitutes a secret society that would fall into conspiracy yeah because like it probably is a secret society of super intelligent cryptologists that live all over the world that probably met on the dark web or something yeah and set up this elaborate challenge but i don't necessarily think there's anything sinister behind it right they're not conspiring to do anything yeah they don't have like their puppet strings on like world leaders all over the globe um they seem pretty harmless

but hell if you're out there and you listen to this podcast throw us at least one free entry i was researching this thing for like three hours and I don't know how long it took to solve all that puzzle bullcrap. But I think it's probably in the same ballpark. At least throw me a Dogecoin or whatever you guys trade with. Or the freaking Runic code to decipher that bish. I'll be the first one. I like the idea of us being like, I think this is bullshit. There's nothing really in here.

It's like, oh, did you read this page about the stock markets it's like oh what was that shit or we're just like this is absolute bullcrap cicada is not real we wake up tomorrow like our podcast has been pulled from apple itunes we're off soundcloud like what our patreon's down our like podcast art the patreon art is all just cicadas everywhere can't be we phone up like the customer support to see if we can get the podcast back online and we just hear you picked the wrong bug to mess with 3301 they're all in on it yeah i think it's double no this week double no this week but um damn that was a fun one i enjoyed that conspiracy one and hopefully you did too uh if you want to hear us do more conspiracy stories on the podcast uh let us know how you enjoyed this one by emailing us

in at this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com where you can even suggest some of your own conspiracy stories that you would like us to investigate as this episode is being recorded right now um cicada have not listened which means our patreon is still up touchwood yeah yeah we know they're not listening live which is great because that would mean they're in the room somewhere which is pretty damn i'd be cicada which would really be a turn of events. I'm a sleeper agent. I've been asleep for 17 years. I wake up self-sabotage and try and bang the nearest thing. So it just means that our Patreon could go down at any second, folks. That means this is your last chance for merch, bonus episodes, shoutouts on the show.

So get involved before Cicada shut us down. But until then, while the website is up, if you have supported us for as little as $2, what we like to do is give you a special shout out right here on the podcast. So thank you to CC Burns. Ah, it burns. Throw some of that CC water on me

I know I shouldn't have I know I should have brought some sunscreen to the beach okay here's some CC water little did you know CC water is nothing like sea water CC water is 100 like sea water CC water is 100 degrees

It's boiling actually Thank you CC For your contribution to this paranormal life Patreon you have Calmed my burns My burns of the heart Thank you also to David Drewy

Well if it isn't Sakaevid David Head of the Organization don't pretend like you're not David I know in your Well, if it isn't Sakavid David, head of the organization. Don't pretend like you're not David. I know in your big old noggin you hold everything we need to decipher the remaining pages of the Libra Primus. So hand it over. We'll get it out there one way or another. We have to cut your head open and extract the Libra Primus runes.

That's a little intense. and extract the liber primus runes that's a little that's a little intense i think we need to we need to find a way to get it out of his brain right without removing his ability to stay on the patreon oh right that's actually pretty important yeah because uh cicada's coming after us and we need every last dollar bill to fund a very expensive flight every other day to a new city across the world until we can lose the trail uh all sorts of experts are telling us that if we just log off the internet they can't track us yeah but uh like i'm gonna do that i'm addicted to socials exactly on every platform they'll never get me to log off we like travel all the way across the world to like the great wall of china to try and lose the scent

and as soon as i get off that plane i'm doing a selfie going hashtag landed hashtag china also we're going to the world's most famous tourist hot spots like they're telling us to go to remote locations we go to the eiffel tower the great wall of china of course the empire state building for going to the country i want to see the hot spots, you know? But thank you David for your support. Thank you also to Christopher Todd! That's right, the man with the

bod, Christopher Todd. A lot of people think to get a bod like that you've got to put in a lot of hard work, a lot of hours down at the gym. Chris worked out that actually you can get pretty good results by simply burrowing into the earth for 16 to 17 years absolutely your muscles just take on very earthy and jacked tone when you finally emerge just full of sexual energy the compression of the dirt really that deep and that close to the mantle of the earth

really just gives you that lean, muscular body that Hotbod Todd has taken 17 years to perfect. Now he has emerged. He has taken a quick break to pledge to us on Patreon. And now I assume he's going on some sort of sex-ravenged adventure, very briefly before he obviously caves up and dies. Yeah, because you do not live long if you do that. Yeah, and also, I don't think he has like, eyes, because he was like, underground

for 17 years. Like, he's got a smoking hot bod, but he's blind. He doesn't really breathe oxygen. So he's dying slowly. But best of luck to you, sir. You got great abs. he's more bug than mine thank you also to jr glass j i don't need an r glass to keep track of your support because it's non-stop and it's endless and i don't know how to read an hourglass it doesn't

make any sense to me like what is it it's extremely straightforward like is it sand am i supposed to count the grains of sand no no like every every grain is a minute or some shit all right whenever the sand is gone right it starts that's no that's it over so that's the amount of time gone right okay and when how do i know when it's over because it's like when Because there's no sound. But people flip it in the shows. So you flip it when you want to start it? All right, so, Jesus.

Getting really flustered by it. All right, so I bought... The thing's in the box. I've bought the thing, all right? I take it out of the box? I leave it in the box? Take it out of the box. Jesus Christ.

I've been doing this wrong. I've been flipping... You left it in the box? You couldn't even see the hourglass? You were just looking at the picture. The picture on the front. This makes sense to me now because I've been flipping the box and looking at the picture and nothing changes. I understand now.

Apologies. I think actually an hourglass would really come in handy to measure a lot of things in life. Like your support, which is endless. So thank you. Thank you also to alex lynch aka alexander flinch just like myself he was dishonorably discharged from the front line of the army because you do not want a gun in this man's hands i mean the the slightest thing

he flinches you know you just walk into the barracks you'd be like hey alex he's firing wildly into the sky yeah he's got an itchy trigger finger he wants to kill uh i once just gave him a friendly nod and he didn't even have a gun in his hand he went across the room to grab it yeah and started firing and i was like i know that didn't spook you uh alex i don't know why you did this yeah no it's his instincts are just awful i played football against the sucker one time and uh as soon as someone did a friendly gentle jovial pass across the pitch to him yeah he just 180'd sprinted towards his own goalkeeper and just owned gold. A real scorcher, by the way. Wow. Back of the net, top right.

Keeper didn't see it coming, but granted, his team were then one down. Yeah, I mean, that doesn't sound like an impulsive move. No. That's not really a flinch. Not at all. That's like a premeditated, pretty well planned out. Yeah, I'm not sure.

A flinch rhymes, so. But flinch rhymes, so we'll call him the flinch. And thank you, lastly, but not leastly, to Austin P. Carlson. Austin P. Carlson. P as in his middle name, not P for paranormal. No, it wouldn't be paranormal. Austin P. C for Carl, not conspiracy. Or confused.

Or confused. Sorry, now I'm confused. I'm pretty confused here. What was his first name? c what was it i'm sorry oh for austin oh as in oh it's a austin what's his name oh oh no a a in A. It's A for Austin. My nose is bleeding, by the way. Conspiracy or paranormal conspiracy. Austin. Wait, is it really Austin?

Is his first name Austin? Yes. Austin, thank you for your contribution or your C for contribution. Not conspiracy or confusing. We really appreciate your S support. Or the P, Patreon. Don't say P! Because that sounds like paranormal.

Thank you so much, everyone who has subscribed on Patreon. If you haven't got your S out yet for shout out, don't worry, it's coming very S soon. We hope you enjoyed this week's episode. We had a blast recording it um and we can't wait to be back next t tuesday for a brand new p paranormal t-tail gb goodbye