This Paranormal Life - #115 The Bloop: The Mystery Of The Loudest Underwater Sound Ever Recorded

Episode Date: June 4, 2019

'The Bloop' is the real name given, by the scientific community to a mysterious sound recorded underwater in the South Pacific. This is it's real and bizarre story, that mystifies researchers to this day.Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are atoms actually tiny universes? Which bug bites give you superhuman abilities and which just straight up kill you? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life! Hey! Oh, welcome back to the podcast. You're listening to This Paranormal Life, the podcast where every week we dissect a different paranormal tale, case, claim, beast, and get to the bottom of whether it's truly paranormal or not you're joined by the two most decorated most prestigious paranormal

investigators in the whole world my name's kit greer this guy's rory pars that's right and as you said we're not afraid to ask the big questions on this show like the one you started with you know which bug bites will give you superhuman abilities which ones will straight up kill you i did a bit of research in this myself i can see that yeah i went to the the local zoo uh doused myself in a pot of honey and just rolled around in whatever cage i could get into um attracted a lot of mammals large animals first of all yeah it would have been it would have been smart to specify insect at the start but i went headfirst into the gorilla enclosure butt naked dripping in honey and they hadn't had bananas for days so the honey was close enough i don't want to be crass but they beat the out of me they absolutely did and i'm suing the zoo that's right i'm suing the zoo for those violent

monkeys and bobo bobo the monkey you're going down like harambe brother because i don't stand for this i think that's a death threat you might want to watch the legality of that a monkey straight up bit me in the neck and i thought i was gonna get some sort of ape like strength instead i drop dead pass out i wake up two weeks have passed and i'm weaker than ever how's that fair you look a lot thinner than you did before you went in that enclosure that monkey's looking pretty strong actually i'm starting to think he got my powers he got the better of you that's for sure but we're not here to talk about monkey attacks uh that was a couple of weeks ago actually the deli monkey man

good episode good episode it was today we're going somewhere very different it's time to dive right It was a couple of weeks ago, actually. The Delhi Monkey Man. Good episode. Good episode. It was. Today, we're going somewhere very different. It's time to dive right in. It's 1997. We're in the South Pacific Ocean. When I think of the South Pacific Ocean, and I think when lots of people do, we think of beautiful white sand beaches, crystal clear water, coral reefs, paradise on earth, basically.

Yeah. But folks, this is a Disney-fied lie told to us by corporate fat cats to honestly sell cruises and copies of Finding Nemo. Because, granted, the beaches are gorgeous, yes, the water is crystal clear, and the pina coladas are cold, but there is so much more to it than that. It's also a place of deep ancient mystery, an unbelievably vast area of earth's surface, thousands and thousands of miles of ocean interspersed by tiny islands that ancient civilizations discovered tens of thousands of years ago. This is also the location of the

Mariana Trench. Ever heard of it? I think that's where they dumped Megatron. I believe so. Either Megatron or Saddam Hussein, or maybe both. The two most evil robots in the world. It's the lowest, most deep point of the Earth's surface. It goes down seven miles, and humans have barely even attempted to explore there. Wow. And it's here in the South Pacific that scientists from the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration were monitoring the ocean using an array of underwater microphones. These microphones were first put all over the ocean by the Navy during the Cold War, I think, to track submarines.

But by the 90s, no one needed them anymore. And basically, the scientists were like, this is amazing. We've got thousands of microphones. I guess the army guys were just like, there's thousands of microphones. I guess we'll just let the fish eat them yeah but yeah the scientific community were like wow we could do so much with this we really thought we were going to need way more microphones uh in the war terms of boats are pretty quiet it's actually shit all to hear underwater but now we've got 200 000000 waterproof zooms and nowhere to put them.

So yeah, I guess let's listen to whales. So I guess if fish want to start podcasting anytime soon, that would be great. We'll start an underwater podcast network. Just fishy life. That's right. We're talking about coral reefs. Talking about the destruction of the coral reefs, overfishing all the things that matter to fishies all over the world.

And once the scientists took control of this array, it was in the summer of 1997, they picked up something on recording that no one expected. It was something loud. Really loud. In the ocean? In the ocean. They're looking at their readings, trying to work out what it could be. Did someone detonate something down there? Did a boat crash? What could it be? And you know that in that office is the skeptic hard-ass boss at the laboratory and he's like, it's nothing get back to work. But sir this has exceeded all our measuring equipment.

Well what if it's an attack or a uh uh that's impossible. Our equipment is designed to handle a goddamn nuke. Now shut up or I'll lower you into the ocean so you can see what it is first hand. And then you know there's one plucky scientist who keeps their mouth shut they they just keep nodding they're like yes sir must have been an anomaly sir some kind of noise in the system but deep down they know that's not noise oh yeah and when the office is closed and the lights are out he's he's at his desk burning the midnight oil crunchinging the numbers, looking at the data, you know. He's sending reports down to the bottom of the ocean. These reports are coming back.

He's on to something. He's got some great, like, 80s montage music on the background as he works. It's kind of distracting, actually, because his job is supposed to listen to the ocean. There's, like, a mer-man talking into the microphones, but he's too busy listening to bon jovi to hear them he goes home tired from a long day at work and his wife's like look just calm down i'll just put on some whale noises my work is whale noises i'm never afraid i'm married to a whale crumb drone cherry i should have never gone to whale school that's right They're burning the midnight oil They pick up the phone and they start dialing other research centers, you know on the DL because this microphone array is massive They've got centers all over the Pacific in Asia South America the Pacific Northwest of the United States

Wow, they call one phone rings and just as it stops and the receivers picked up There's a long pause before they hear so you heard it too no scientist sounds that creepy there's no way i don't know man these stations are out in the middle of the ocean there might be only one scientist in a little beach hut thousands of miles from civilization fair point fair point yeah a little barnacle encrusted scientist that's just how he answers the phone yeah so you heard it too and they're thinking this can't be your station is hundreds of miles away from us what on earth was this thing so they keep contacting others to try

and triangulate the source of this noise and the more stations they contact they realize something And the more stations they contact they realize something impossible has happened Everyone heard it must be weird to call up every other station and you're like I'll just see what the people in the North Pacific think. Hi. I was so you heard it, too It's almost getting weirder that you're all greeting me with that sent that same line. That's weird. Like did you plan this? Yes Are you a scientist scientist are you just the janitor i don't know do you even know what i'm talking about stations more than 3 000 miles apart heard the same sound that's literally like hearing an explosion in london when you're standing in egypt it's that far like i said by looking at the volume and the distances between these

readings, they can try and identify the source. But what does it mean when everyone in the Pacific Ocean heard it? It means this was loud. Louder than almost anything you can imagine. And from what I know, there are not a lot of naturally loud noises in the ocean like unless a moaning whale accidentally swam into a retired landmine and absolutely detonated a field of them with his blubbery ass that i think would be the only thing that could come close because fish are genuinely pretty quiet they are pretty quiet themselves yeah i mean you're quite right i mean even above ground kind of the log things are i mean nature wise i guess there's thunder stuff like that yeah but it's mostly man-made stuff you think of explosions jet engines fish would be a thousand times scarier if they made any sort of noise

like imagine if you were swimming and you saw the fins of a shark and you looked down underwater and you went, rawr! As he was coming at you. Imagine they could roar like a lion. Holy shit. Or even like a school of fish passing by like,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like that would be really terrifying. Yeah, it would be quite overwhelming. I mean, I guess the thing is, I mean, we'll kind of get into this, but, like, things down there do make noise, but it becomes kind of trippy because it's also just that our ears aren't built to understand it. So, animals down there, like, that's how, you know, dolphins, we know that they kind of go like, meh, meh, that kind of noise. That sounds a little bit more like a sheep for one but give another go okay

okay i'll throw you a bone i think there's such thing as like a sea car i think that's some kind of mammal but you're that's not what a dolphin is once more dolphins right they're the smart ones yeah they're like mammals yeah they are mammals so like meow i mean no but a cat goes meow you see yeah sorry it's wolf no it's not you seem to have a like decent understanding of like the animal kingdom like which is which yeah but just not which animal dolphins one of the most hyper intelligent mammals that also live in the ocean yeah that's exactly right yeah meow i think we should move on i just i haven't been the same since the monkey bite. My brain's like, I think one thing and I say another thing.

I think you're getting some crossed wires. Yeah, I don't know if that's like my powers kicking in. Your eyes are two different colors since that, I would have to say. Right, like in a cool way though? Like a good way? One's completely f***ing bloodshot. It's not really like green and blue. Maybe like a laser eye?

It's like red and then the other one is just completely white let me just try and do like a push-up and see if my my strength is kicking in or something oh that looked really painful i got one you are i got one done that's not good it's all right i think one of the bones in your arm is sticking out the back of your elbow after that that's that's de-evolution i think i'm returning to the monkey i think you need to go to the hospital fair enough sir a banana for the road at least maybe a vet actually i go to eat the banana your teeth are all falling out you're very unwell i'm a herbivore now like the monkey and at this point our skeptic

researcher has heard about this, and he's got the readouts in his hand, just shaking his head. Impossible. This is seismic or volcanic activity, some kind of shift in the Earth's crust. And the plucky young scientist is like, sir, this sound doesn't match any of our previous seismic activity. its signature doesn't match anything like that. In fact, in fact, it sounds organic. What in the blue hell are you saying? Well, the speed of the sweep and pitch. Louder, son! To who? It's just me and you talking, sir. I can't hear a f***ing thing since that bomb dropped in the ocean. So you did hear it. What? No, I can't hear anything. The speed of the sweep and pitch, the frequency band, the repetition.

It has a lot in common with something from an animal. Something alive. Uh-oh. What did you say, chief? Nothing. I have to go back to land. If sir were 3, 000 miles from the nearest land he's trying to swim up an endless stream whatever it is i'm sure it's definitely not related to an

accident that occurred in one of my previous missions disposing of nuclear material in the mariana trench and this sounds mad but this is actually what happened. At least one of the researchers there began to believe, by studying this sound, that it was more closely related to some kind of animal noise, some kind of marine animal noise, than anything man-made or geographical

or something like that. A new scientist sent a reporter to cover this story, and they talked to one of the researchers, and in the article they wrote, Mr. Fox's hunch is that the sound nicknamed the bloop is most likely to come from some sort of animal, because its signature is a rapid variation in frequency,

similar to that of sounds known to be made by marine beasts. There's one crucial difference, however. In 1997, the bloop was detected by sensors up to 3,000 miles apart. That means it must be far louder than any whale noise or any animal noise for that matter. Is it even remotely possible that some creature bigger than any whale is lurking in the ocean depths? Or perhaps, more likely likely something that is much more efficient at making sound but the problems like this reporter points out are obvious sure whales and other animals do make noises we can record but nothing anywhere near close to this

kind of volume not even a blue whale which is the largest animal to ever exist on earth can make a sound like that i mean to give it some scale i think blue whales are extremely loud if you were next to one and it did its like whale noise i think it's almost too low register to sound like that much to us but the sound pressure level the decibel of that would be so loud that it would probably do hearing damage to a human. Oh my gosh. And certainly underwater, it could travel for hundreds of miles, but nowhere near 3,000 miles. Unless there is something down there, miles underneath the surface, undiscovered. Massive enough that its calls travel thousands of miles around the world. After all, how would we know? We haven't even explored

down there entirely. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what makes this story paranormal. Today we're talking about a cryptid, some kind of undiscovered water beast, unknown to science and God, except this isn't a frogman or even Bigfoot or even Nessie. This is Godzilla level, Thulu level. Something bigger than ever thought possible. We've talked about the fish that live at the very bottom of the ocean. Those weird little mutant monsters. God's mistakes? I think you referred to them on the pod.

I did and I'll refer to them as such again. I mean, we have... What is the statistic? We've explored like 7% of the Earth's ocean. Oh, piss all, whatever it is. Barely anything. We know nothing about the fish down here. You know, we're still trying to work out if the fish up here are making noise. The fish down there, they can probably sing and talk.

There's probably borderline marshmallow style DJ fish down there. Justin Bieber is doing collabs. Yeah. More like Justin Reefer. Oh! Yes, that's right. I can deliver the puns as well. Mariana Grande is down there too.

Oh! Not too bad. But I realize we've got this far in the episode, and I haven't even played you the bloop. It was recorded? Oh, we've got the recording, of course. Oh my god, okay, yeah, let's do this. Ladies and gentlemen at home.

This isn't like the brown noise, is it? You said it was so much louder than a whale's moan. Is this just going to blow my sphincter out of my body? We can't be sure i mean granted the sound will be coming out of my laptop instead of the belly of uh some sort of hell beast of course but this may travel for 3 000 miles all right folks crank up your headphones it's about to get real crank up your headphones and prepare to die that was it i was waiting for the bloop i was waiting for the bloop in that clip it was that little blop it's called the bloop i think that was pretty self-explanatory i was expecting like the

inception noise underwater the tub tubas? Yeah. I wanted like the room to shake. I mean, sure. Like Godzilla's roar. But this thing, right, so that, okay. Somebody farted underwater, Kit. A scuba diver farted. That's what that was. 3,000 miles away?

He had a spicy dinner, all right? It traveled. Very rude. I'm going to play it for you again. I'm pleased this time. Bear in mind that it's 3,000 miles away. Okay. dinner all right it traveled very rude i'm gonna play it for you again i'm pleased this time bear in mind that it's 3 000 miles away okay i bared it in mind and it did not make much of a difference okay i listen i'm not an egghead scientist i don't i don't claim to understand how these things

work exactly but the way the speed of sound travels underwater versus how it travels on land yeah this has been sped up by 16 times so that we can hear it if we didn't do that we wouldn't hear anything i don't understand how this could be the loudest noise in the world but if it's not manipulated it is completely unperceivable to the human ear oh yes whisper silent science is so strange i mean you wouldn't be able to hear it but you would probably die instantly due to the insane volume uh i'll give it to you it's not whenever you hear it maybe it's not the most impressive yeah kind of yeah movie style impact of a sound but um that's what it was insanely loud traveled thousands of miles so at this point in the story i should

say that people were very excited about the potential existence of this oceanic mega cryptid for some time until the national oceanic and atmospheric administration decided that they had enough evidence to conclude that these sounds were not caused by a mega cryptid but rather by sheets of ice colliding into each other or carving off each other they claim that this would explain the unusual sounds and the sheer volume of what was recorded it's a pretty reasonable uh explanation it's a pretty listen if you want to play it safe if you want to keep your career in line if you want to don't want to get in the wrong side of the authorities the powers powers that be, yeah, I guess it's a pretty fun story to tell yourself at night. It's a bit better than like, you know, how can you explain this noise?

Weather balloon. There's a weather balloon in the Mariana Trench. Must have scraped against some rocks. Didn't I see you in those photos from Roswell a really long time ago? You haven't aged at all. Your skin is completely gray. So I know that their explaining away of this story brings us dangerously close to this case being a bust. But don't worry, there is one more piece of evidence for a paranormal water beast here. So when I was researching this case, I found out that there are actually a number of

unexplained signs around the world. There's pretty much a list on Wikipedia of recordings that you can listen to right now, which cannot be explained. All underwater or above water? The ones I was looking at were underwater. You're like, do not get me started on land noises. Listen to this. What the was that? Some sort of land cryptid? What about this? It boils my blood and terrifies my core. That duck quack had to be sped up 16 times.

So you know it's a duck quack. And on this list of unexplained signs, there is the bloop, like we've been researching. But there is another one, very similar to this known as whale 52 researchers that listen to whale song underwater found that by analyzing thousands of different whale songs they can identify whale species and even specific whales themselves by the frequency of their song so you know one species will sing mostly around the 80 hertz range and then another around 60. But they became puzzled in the late 80s when for the first time they recorded a song like no other. An animal's call specifically at 52 hertz. For reference, this is almost the

exactly the lower limit of human hearing. It's a very, very low note, almost imperceptible to humans. And to this day, there is no known animal that calls at this pitch except whale 52. Ooh, creepy. To make it even crazier, we can track this beast to this day. There are specific times of year this call can be heard. It travels around its pitch has like very slightly lowered over the years because it's getting older they think

right but it's still never been seen the question is is this connected to the bloop or is it simply evidence that other beings like whale 52 may exist. And crucially, if there are undiscovered water beasts down there, are they paranormal? And it turns out, I'm not the first person to ask this question. K-pop superstars, BTS, wrote about this beast on their hit track which is exactly what it sounds like a mashup of whale and alien the most lonely creature in the world oh you want to know my story i never told this to anybody.

And I'm so glad they wrote this, because this is exactly the line so long I'm thinking. This took a really weird turn, to be honest with you. Which is that they're, I guess, theorizing that this is some kind of whale-ocean-beast-alien hybrid. Yeah, a line that I don't think even I would cross, to be honest with you i'm just glad that they're using some of that clout to talk about the paranormal yeah well not even the paranormal honestly just whaley and so nothing else you don't want like roswell gray's i feel

like a lot of people have spoken up in that space a lot of people have come forward no one's talking about whaley and there could be a reason though why no one's talking about whaleyans there could be a reason though why no one's talking about whaleyans yeah because a lot of people will get hurt or killed if they come out and talk about whaleyans so is that is the whale an alien or did an alien bang the whale and then drop a whaley and hybrid in there i sort of imagine yeah some kind of ancient astronaut alien infused dna with the ocean beast or maybe just the ocean beast from a different planet like they say water is the same everywhere in the universe there could be an a water beast from another planet that exists in our ocean because after all yeah like

the atmosphere that we breathe that's going to be different on every single planet but water's water you would be freaked out if you were an alien who came down to like try and capture a human in your tractor beam and you went straight over the ocean beamed it straight down and you're like all right it's powering up the human's coming along and then like this enormous whale like fills the room he's dying immediately like like waters over all of your electronics you're trying to probe the blow hole because you don't know where his ass is he's letting out 52 signals that's like making cracks in your little spaceship helmets i like the idea that they do i mean that's just accepted science now isn't it they just go straight for the butt yeah i think so they just desperately as soon as

that thing lands in the ship the science hole as i call it so i've thrown a lot at you in the last like 30 minutes but what are your kind of right off the bat feelings about this bloop and maybe later whaley in 52 okay well let's start with the bloop the recording is not as loud as i thought it was gonna be well it's on my laptop isn't it it's still pretty if i turn the volume up full and put headphones on you'll be pretty loud but you know look i'll let that one slide because you know when when you're a scientist examining something like this sometimes that's the reality of a massive discovery it's like when nasa say we've just discovered something incredible we've discovered that you know there is a universe or there is a galaxy on the the brink of our capabilities

that we can see with this super amazing telescope there could be thousands of living creatures out there and you're like oh my god this sounds amazing and they show you a picture and it's like a little speck yeah on a black dot. It always is. Yeah, it's incredibly disappointing. You're like, well, I wanted to see like aliens doing the peace sign, you know, on a little planet. I wanted to see like, I don't know, some super cool galaxy. I wanted to see some Avatar shit.

Absolutely. Yeah, but you get the speck. That's what we're being served here with the bloop. You know, I wanted the inception noise and I got a bubble rising from the depths. We got to be happy with it because like I say, if you were down there, if you heard it firsthand, you'd be dead. We got to be grateful that we've got these microphones to translate it into some pathetic little bloop for us.

Why is it that humans can't go down deeper? Is it the water pressure? Like, would that just smush anything after a certain point? Why is it that humans can't go down deeper? Is it the water pressure? Like, would that just smush anything after a certain point? I don't remember the exact numbers. Water, it turns out, is pretty heavy. Right. Water weighs, I believe, one square cube of water weighs a ton.

Okay. So. Oh, boy. So if you swim, like. With the weight of the ocean above you yes so uh yeah i i did hear someone talking about this recently i think if you swim down like literally like 20 feet that's like you're doubling essentially the atmosphere the normal atmosphere that weighs down on us it's like twice that as soon as you go down and that's why your ears start popping things start going wrong whenever you swim down deep so once you so once you start talking in miles you start talking in like six seven miles down you're talking thousands of atmospheric pressures on top of you you got enough to worry about without a seismic bloop

traveling through the waves rocking the bones in your body and now that i say it out loud actually we got to be pretty worried about the things that are born down there the the god's mistake fishes we've talked about yeah because i've just realized they're on some superman shit wasn't that his story he was born on a planet with a super heavy atmosphere and that was why he was super strong. I don't know enough about Superman to correct you, nor do I want to encourage this parallel between Superman and the fish that live in the Mariana Trench. I'm just, I'm being a whistleblower here. I think no one's thinking about this.

You think because they've been training in a high intensity atmosphere, they are going to pop out be able to fly they will have enormously strong human legs and be able to punch through sheet metal i'm not saying they'll have laser vision what i am saying is they will be the strongest beast to ever live and the smartest they travel in schools non-stop schools education from birth to death little goddamn eggheads i did see um i saw the movie uh the meg you know that movie that came out quite recently about sure sure the megalodon the documentary i think you'll find it definitely was not a documentary i want to correct that before we proceed um jason statham acclaimed

scientist jason statham the idea in that film was that they reached the bottom of the mariana trench but they realized that it was just kind of like a layer of um i don't know some sort of like sea build-up they created like a fake floor that they actually uh in disrupted and broke open which meant there was a whole world of prehistoric creatures down there that will were able to break free and then come into our world so the megalodon this ancient shark was able to come forth through the trenches who's to say that's not true that you know and jason statham like i say very respected scientist uh very respected abs at least and that's a pretty interesting hypothesis put forward by him yeah and you know he trains in in high pressure water you don't get a rock and

hop bod like that without training underwater all i'm saying is with the amount of research you've brought me today we need to start tying anchors to nukes and just letting them sink do you know one of the most depressing bits about researching this was how many people have had that idea i think it's like uh it's just human nature to want to nuke stuff it seems to be which is weird because we say it's human nature nukes have only existed for less than what a hundred years something like that it's like when we were investigating uh the moon landing and i told you about project nuke the moon which was an actual nasa mission that they considered as an option but i don't know why they just thought let's just do it and see what happens nuke the moon maybe we need to start nuking the mariana trench i was relieved to find that that so far it

is illegal to put nuclear waste in the ocean rats and that does rule out mariana trench also we got to be careful because if we're still following this superman uh storyline if you nuke superfish's home planet i'm pretty sure they get pretty pissed and i'm pretty sure they're gonna come back with some teenage mutant ninja fish abilities it's true so let's not start a war we can't win maybe we let these super fish be by themselves they have the water we'll take the land so and then we'll just take a lot of shit from the water and eat it that's the way that's the way mother nature intended it granted we'll dip our fingers in their territory every now and again literally testing the waters so we're putting out a lot of warnings here in the podcast today but where are we coming down on the the crucial end of podcast decision

as to whether this is paranormal or not all right let's get down to the nitty-gritty of this thing we have a recording of the bloop we don't know what it is yeah it's louder than any noise made by any sea creature on record but scientists do have a pretty plausible explanation which is two giant icebergs under the water rubbing together yeah that's a plausible enough explanation that it's the favorable choice between that or an ancient cryptid screaming in the dark depths of the ocean fair all i would have needed to push me over the edge is maybe like a radar blip or something you know yeah i see what you're saying like if we could get this thing moving around on there yeah we got whale 52 but again that's a it's a whole nother story it's an interesting

noise under the ocean but when it comes to this bloopy blip i don't know it doesn't seem i don't have enough evidence to confirm that it is paranormal all right the bloop that's old news what about whale 52 paranormal is shit this is a cryptid folks i've been saying it for years we need to nuke the whales you were saying that before you ever heard of whale 52, by the way. Yeah, I just want some of that sweet, sweet blubber. Bro, you don't want to nuke it then. Just fish for it. Listen, all I'm saying, I was pretty blown away by the existence of whale 52, I'll be honest.

The definition of a cryptid, an animal whose existence or survival is disputed or unsubstantiated. What we have here, folks, is what scientists call the loneliest whale in the world it's so sad a creature who's never been sighted its existence is disputed it doesn't exhibit any of the same animal calls as any other animal um that we're aware of um and yet we're able to track it over the years using microphone technology and things like that sometimes i feel like that whale you know just like you say you say stuff and like no one can even understand you you're just kind of swimming around in life aimlessly moaning doing your whale song it's pretty beautiful actually it's nice you actually like resonate with that you kind of feel like

am i a cryptid per se no no i didn't think so am i a whale per se not really you're neither you're a mom neither but am i a lonely sea beast no no again that's a triple no do i feel bad for this whale a fourth no okay but do i want his blubber that's a yes okay that's a yes so Okay. That's a yes. So you don't actually sympathize with the whale in any way? The more when I talked through it, I realized I don't actually, I don't see anything from the point of view of the whale. You just treat him like any other whale. It's just blubber. It's a sad bit of blubber.

It's actually better because he can't even, even if he's sad or hurt when I take his blubber, no one can hear him. Is this not a legitimate cryptid? No. Why? Because, look, creatures are born all the time with abnormalities. You know, you have a bird born with three legs or, I don't know, a turtle born without a shell. or i don't know a turtle born without a shell these are like strange genetic mishaps that happen sometimes uh when creatures are born here we have a whale that through some mishap his voice registers or his moan his whale song registers at a way lower decibel that would be

intended for a whale of his species i don't think that makes him a cryptid i think it makes it pretty unique but i wouldn't say cryptid wow sorry cowardly sorry to have to back down look if it's a cryptid i can't kill it and take its sweet sweet blubber you know what they call blubber sea money because everyone wants a slice of that pie and turns like cryptids are pretty protected under kind of international bio laws exactly so as long as that thing's a whale it's good to go happy hunting brother i'm trying to hunt bigfoot here but i don't have a permit i can't get the bigfoot blubber but all of a sudden if i'm'm hunting a monkey, man, a monkey, not a man. Shouldn't have said man. Hey, I hold my hands up there.

Shouldn't have said man. If I'm hunting a monkey with big feet. You still can't hunt monkeys, though. They're very protected, in fact. Sorry. Shouldn't have said monkey. Or man. If I'm hunting a little hairy gorilla-like man.

You can't hunt. No. You've circled back entirely one more time one more time here okay last if i have a if i have a there's no way you're getting a permit if i have a loaded rifle yeah pointed hunting right hunting permits are very competitive right i got a i got a i'm loaded up okay i've got a gun i got a rifle pointed right on the back of this little baboon no is that all right of course that's not all right no what how's that fair just he can't even defend himself you cannot hunt any monkey no monkeys no monkeys limits right i don't know why i guess because they're too human so gun back the head to

a lion and he's roaring he's roaring for help is that fine i see roaring for help that's not how lions work they're they're fearsome predators and he's shit scared because he saw me kill about five monkeys two seconds ago so you did kill the the monkeys. Yeah, I killed the monkeys. You shot the monkeys on sight. You're going to jail for a long time. No blubber for you. They arrested me in my monkey coat, monkey hat. What do you want for your last meal?

Monkey flesh. Just don't, don't let them talk anymore. Just kill them via monkeys, preferably. They chain me up in a banana skirt and just watch me get ripped to shreds monkey killing humans this has got to be illegal the monkeys have got pistols and rifles this is horseshit you don't even have a hunting license so it sounds like sounds like you're a freaking no i think i'm gonna be a i'm gonna be a double no no how can you're a freaking no. I think I'm going to be a double no. How can you be a double no?

No for the blip and no for the whale 52. I'm not speaking on behalf of you. You've got a pistol to my head. Fine. This is going to be the first disagreement in a while on this paranormal life. No. I'm going. Grant said I'm going no on the bloop

but i'm going yes on whale 52 this is a cryptid so somehow folks in one episode we have a triple no yes whoa really unprecedented scores here wow we very rarely come down on a different conclusions as well pretty much yeah. This hurts, man. I'll be honest. I just want the paranormal nation to know how strongly I feel about this one. But I'd love to know what they think about it too. Yeah, geez. I mean, right into the podcast.

You can email us, thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com. Let us know what you think or hit us up on the socials, twitter.com forward slash thisparalife, facebook.com forward slash thisparanormallife. Maybe go hunting for a few internet-based wild monkeys and whales of your own in our secret society. Yeah. There's some real trophies to be had. If you just search secret society, thisparanormallife on Facebook, you can find us. If you have enjoyed this episode and you want to hear others, and maybe you've,

maybe you've binged this paranormal life and you've run out of main episodes. Did you know that there is a, something of a Meg style, Mariana trench layer that for only $2 a month, you can break through and unleash a torrent of ancient hidden episodes that are loud as all hell and dangerous the fish down there are god's mistake these episodes are our mistakes and you can free them upon the world for as little as five bucks a month i was being very cryptic there but what that translates as is we have a large amount of bonus episodes we

should specify that uh are available on patreon from five bucks a month um and we have t-shirts as well and you can get shout outs here in the podcast which by the way is what we do at the end of every episode we thank the people who support us on patreon by shouting them out here on the cast let's go a special thank you to ellis oh can someone tell me what that smell is oh it's just ellis wow that's right he was actually uh investigated um for a while as like some sort of swamp monster oh ellis i'm Ellis, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I just didn't know what the smell is. I didn't know what the smell was.

That doesn't work as well when it's past tense. Ellis, you stink. You stink, and I had to investigate you, and it turns out you're a normal person. So, I'm sorry that I tranked you and dragged you through the swamp. Hell, maybe that's why you stank when I got you home, because I dragged you through the mud. You probably smell that's why you stank when I got you home because I dragged you through the mud. You probably smell absolutely fine.

Totally fine. I got spooked. I tranked a human and then dragged them through the dirt and then wondered why they smelled. But you know what? Next time I'll wear my glasses and this kind of thing won't happen again. Yeah, I'll wear my glasses and you wear some links.

We'll call it even. Thank you also. To Crazy Carl. Crazy Carl is actually the most sane man i've ever met to a fault you know like you have a crazy night out we were all doing tequila shots and stuff you're like this is gonna be crazy and carl's like well boys maybe we should have a glass of water in between each shot that way we'll feel better in the morning you know neutralize some of the harmful effects of the alcohol and it's like oh, oh, come on, Crazy Carl.

Like, come on, where's your, where's your party attitude? Let loose a little bit. He's like, well, I should, I suppose I could have a vodka cranberry instead of just regular cranberry. No, you're talking. No, you're talking, Crazy Carl. But the only thing with Crazy Carl is, you know, when one bit of liquor hits those lips. Right. It's like, Jackal at the jackal and hide

he's going he's going too far he's throwing bottles he's starting fights yeah it's bad stuff so hopefully he is sober right now and hopefully this money isn't just stolen from someone else crazy carl i hope you're doing okay pal because he is a history he has a history thank you also to beth marshall you think being court-martialed is bad try being beth marshalled whoa the ultimate insult to any soldier wait what is being court-martialed is that just some sort of punishment yeah i think it's like getting convicted of some sort of like breaking the rules right in a military sort of sense whereas like beth marshall is just anything like you don't even have to be a soldier you could be like a shopkeeper really or like a butcher and then one day someone just shows up and says you're beth marshall not dropped on and give me 100. 100 what? I didn't specify.

Mix it up a bit. It's terrifying. Mix it up a bit? What do you mean? Like, am I doing jumping jacks? Am I reciting lines? It's insane. You're going to earn yourself a second Beth Marshall

and you keep talking like that. I don't know what it is, but I don't want any more. And that's what Beth Marshalling is. You don't really know what it is, but you don't want it to happen to you but it's like homework that way exactly but thank you beth for supporting the show thank you also to anna mcnaughton oh my heart is hurting i think i need a shot of antibiotics to take away the pain. Oh, my heart. I don't think that's how antibiotics work. Some of that good old medicine,

that antibiotic, just Pulp Fiction it right into my core, into my stomach. For sure, don't do that. Does that make hearts better? Don't do it into your heart. I've been eating a lot of butter recently and salt.

So I think maybe some antibiotics. They're good, right? Yeah, it's a diet you've been eating butter salt and antibiotics it's a treat i made called subber salty butter i melt it all in a pan and i drink it in a flannel what are the antibiotics for to make me better to cancel it out listen anna i don't know if you're a doctor or not but if you know how to fix my heart lower my caress lower my cholesterol i would really appreciate it the money is really nice as well the patreon money is that what you call it subber subber salty butter it's delicious right now i'll make i'm gonna whip you up a batch kit and you're gonna change your mind it does smell good it does thanks also to salmon josie a salmon josie and presumably named after the delicacy salmon josette which i believe is salmon served with

um a kind of uh sauce of uh how do you say it subber um oh yes how you say subber? The delicious accessory that goes with any meal, really Really, yeah I never really thought about it But that's actually a very fine dish So maybe we need to be putting this stuff on more things Maybe we could integrate this into the commune canteen That's a good idea And obviously Sam and Josie are

You know, they're well--versed well-traveled people they've had subber before but have they ever had rory's homemade subber i doubt it so certainly not and with the contributions that you're giving to the patreon you deserve a slice of the pie so come on over to the commune canteen and the next round of subbers on me. Just bring some antibiotics. Yeah. Thanks also to Toby Lambert. Toby the Shinobi, the guy who showed up to a black belt training session completely inexperienced, wearing his white belt on his forehead like a headband.

I don't know how it's done, yeah. And he kicked the sensei's ass. Holy shit. It was insane what this guy did. I think he was just born with this incredible martial arts ability. That's bizarre. Just Neo-style downloaded the moves via YouTube. Yeah.

And didn't need to take a class in his life. It was crazy. I mean, he had a... Sure, he had a bat. But, like, he still... It was pretty impressive. Oh, you inferred that that was martial arts skill. Well, the way he was swinging it was pretty eccentric you inferred that that was it was martial arts skill well the way he was swinging it was pretty eccentric it looked like a kata i don't think

eccentric is a black belt level and yeah he maced the sensei before he did it but that's like a shinobi style defense move you know using like a blinding powder. Watching this video, that sensei was pretty old as well. Yeah, I think it was actually, it was like a retirement ceremony. So it was a bit mean. I think he was like borderline 90. The most disrespectful phrase to say someone kicked the sensei's ass. The YouTube video was titled, Coward Freak Attacks Old Man

in Los Angeles Dojo. I think he still has some talent, Toby the Shinobi. Obviously, the people are gonna hold you accountable for this shit. But stay strong, buddy. Thanks for the support. Special thank you to

Nick. Nick Knack Yanoi's Wh whack because he gave these dogs a bone that's right nick we appreciate the bones you've been chucking these paranormal puppies your support means the world to us and it means we can chew down on your delicious financial support and this means he's whack somehow? He's, you know he's whack. Knick knack? Absolutely.

He's crazy for this one. So thank you so much for your support. We appreciate the bones. And thank you lastly, but not leastly, to Klossum. You're telling me that we are being supported by the most rad crab in all the ocean? Klossum himself? That's exactly what I'm telling you. This is insane, man. by the most rad crab in all the ocean, Clawson himself. That's exactly what I'm telling you. This is insane, man.

They are the coolest crustacean in all of the ocean. And they listen to this podcast? Insane. I'm glad the bloop didn't kill them for a start. Because that should have pretty much eviscerated anything that it came in contact with. No, that pretty much makes sense. I don't think they can hear the podcast. Otherwise, they wouldn't have given us any money.

So I think it eviscerated their eardrums altogether. Completely obliterated. Well, hey, Klossom, thank you so much for your support regardless. Yeah, thank you, Klossom. Thank you, everyone else. We've shouted out on this episode. And to everyone else, we are yet to shout out.

Your name is coming. I'm sorry we've had a bit of a backlog for a minute, but we are getting there we're determined and our path is clear we will do it so thanks for being patient and sticking with us hope you enjoyed this week's episode

thank you so much to our beautiful editor Cami for giving us the tip on the story of the bloop really enjoyed researching that one yeah stay tuned because next week we will be back with yet another brand new paranormal tale. Bye, folks!