This Paranormal Life - #125 The Abandoned Gonjiam Asylum

Episode Date: August 13, 2019

Rory came back from his holiday to Korea with a lot of questions... How do they make their chicken so delicious? Why can't he meet BTS? But most importantly - Why was the Gonjiam Mental Asylum abandoned overnight? and WHO is 'The Mad Doctor'?Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did the ancient Egyptians know the secrets of immortality? If fish eat worms, do fish holes eat wormholes? All these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Hello everyone and welcome to This Paranormal Life, the award-winning, number one podcast in this region of the solar system.'s right my name is roy powers this guy's name is kate greer hey and we're so glad to be back with another paranormal tale if you haven't listened to this podcast before what we do is every week as professional paranormal investigators we investigate a brand new case that has been brought to our doorsteps

you know they're ringing the doorbell bing bong bing bong we're pretending like we're not home they're peeking in through the window we say f**k off we're busy but they won't they won't so we have to open the door and solve their problems and that's what we're doing today we're solving another paranormal problem and today I have a fantastic problem. Really? A great problem. A good problem to have. A really good problem.

Today we're going to be investigating what is believed to be one of the most terrifying haunted locations on the face of the earth. Really? CNN even voted it one of the scariest places in the world. So a lot of people have been there, I guess, but survived because they got to vote. Scary doesn't necessarily mean deadly. Well, that's true. Because it's pretty scary in the mouth of a freaking shark. But you wouldn't vote that one of the scariest places in the world.

We've covered a lot of... It's pretty scary to be in an ISIS stronghold. But no one's voting that the spookiest room in the world but this is this is grade a spooky and we've covered a lot of haunted cursed spooky locations all over the world I mean to think of one Centralia we covered not that long ago yeah this is a abandoned ghost town which apparently has a hole to the center of the earth or some shit in it so to beat that we're gonna have to go pretty damn spooky yeah i mean what could beat an abandoned ghost town except an abandoned ghost psychiatric hospital oh my god

that's right we're gonna be talking about gyam Psychiatric Hospital in Korea. Korea. That's right. I think this is a very new location for this Paranormal Life. It is. And that is because I just got back from a little holiday in Korea. From a little psychiatric ward. They let me go.

Yeah, I was just in Korea on holidays for six days for the first time in my life. And I fell in love with that city and that country. It was incredible. I had such a good time that I thought it was only fair if I gave it a little bit of a shout out on the podcast in the form of a paranormal case right there in its own territory. Beautiful. So let's just dive right into this thing. Now this psychiatric hospital operated for many, many years before its closure in the early 1990s. It's located in Gwangju, a small rural city located southeast of Seoul, and understandably has become a sought after destination for dark tourists and paranormal enthusiasts.

after destination for dark tourists and paranormal enthusiasts not only because of the legends of what happened inside the asylum but the fact that it looks like it was abandoned overnight we're talking like a tv set still left on the news channel yeah yeah just tv static so why would a psychiatric hospital be evacuated so dramatically issues with the building overpopulation or did it contain dark secrets about to be exposed the last one of course the last one i just threw the other two in for shits and giggles while there are a lot of explanations as to why the building shut we're here to talk about the paranormal the only explanation that matters according to the rumors and legends two of our favorite things in the 10 years leading up to the hospital's closure patients and some of the staff were inexplicably found dead what that's pretty extreme patients in their rooms and staff at their

own desks when the families of those who had passed away were told about the deaths, they were never given full explanations of what happened. And their deaths were always left in mysterious circumstances. I mean, give them a full explanation, even if it's a lie. Don't be like, don't know. Yeah.

Well, how did my Trevor pass away? Many strange things happen in the asylum. That's not an answer. And I'm going to call the police because that's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. You, are you a patient or are you the actual doctor? The lines of blood here in the asylum. They shouldn't be. They shouldn't be.

You're holding a mop, so you're probably a janitor are you the janitor the real the real head of the institution walks in what what are you doing in here get out you're supposed to be cleaning the toilets sorry sir the woman's like can you tell me what happened to my trevor yeah he died he had a heart attack oh thank you that's exactly what i wanted this had happened often enough for rumors to begin to spread on the internet. South Korean chat forums began swapping stories and researching the case, discovering more and more about the disappearances. And in all the chat rooms, the same phrase in Korean kept popping up.

The mad doctor. Which isn't what you want. Which is an oxymoron. You're fighting fire with fire at that point. It is a paradox. It is the opposite of what should be true. We've talked before on the podcast about witch doctors. Yes. And how, in general, that's a concept that is best left in the past.

Yes, for sure. You do not need a doctor who is also in communion with the devil or the dark arts. For sure. And, indeed, in a psychiatric hospital, you do not need a doctor who is also in communion with the devil or the dark arts for sure and indeed in a psychiatric hospital you do not need a doctor who is also a patient you'd think that would go without saying but it's crazy here we are it wasn't in the rule books they found a loophole it's mad there was this mad rule where if you were a patient there and you punched the biggest doctor in the whole institution, you became the new doctor. Insane.

It was so backwards. Well, stories spread of a doctor as mentally unstable as his patients who would do horrible experiments on those residing in the asylum. And when any staff caught wind of what was happening, they too would find themselves a victim of the mad doctor. As the situation escalated and more and more people talked about what was happening at the asylum, pressure to storm inside Area 51 style was growing. But then, almost overnight, the building was abandoned. And we don't mean like they packed everything and left we're talking patients belongings in the room lab coats and chalkboards left untouched there's mattresses on the beds paperwork photographs everything just left behind weird so like uh kind of whenever you

see those photos of chernobyl and just the kids pencils are still just left on the table they're in the middle of doing work and they just got up and went which is crazy because you assume there's a lot of sensitive information in a mental institution yeah you should probably take because a lot of these people are probably going to another institution so what are you going to do when you show up they're like hey so this is craig he needs a room here in the institution it's like okay can you tell me about his little his medical history no we left it in that old building it's like that's not gonna help anyone that's not gonna help craig at all turns out the mad doctor didn't keep very good records so it's probably for the best you just scribbled them in stone he mostly wrote

prescriptions in his own feces on the floor. So we've talked a lot about this institution, what it looks like, and the state that it was abandoned in. I think it's only fair, Kit, to throw over some photos for you to take a look at. Finally, some evidence on this show. All right. Okay, so I've got a series of photos here. Very modern, actually. got a series of photos here um very modern actually first of which you see the sort of dirt road through the forest clearing that leads to the home of the mad doctor and the psychiatric ward

very creepy covered in barbed wire and kind of a big old sign presumably saying keep out yeah i don't know how i mean is that regulation barbed wire in a in a mental institution it gives off kind of an unfriendly vibe to say the least okay so here's the juicy stuff we're in now inside the psychiatric ward this is weird it's like a little room where it looks like belongings i'm betting are stacked up very high, just left in a real state of dilapidation. This is weird. It's difficult as well, because these photos are presumably taken years after the fact.

Yes. You can see that the building has fallen apart quite a lot. Mother Nature has reclaimed the bish, I think is the technical term. Yeah, so it's hard to understand what was left on that day when it was evacuated and what has changed since then. But of course, like you say, bedding still intact, people's possessions still intact. Creepy. There's a, in this photo, we have a bloody hand on the wall. Yeah, it's pretty weird, isn't it?

I don't know if that's a troll or not. Yeah, pretty creepy stuff all in all. It definitely makes you think, what are the... It's a bad situation when you're comparing the state of a building to that of one in Chernobyl or something like that. There's not many things that would make you up and leave. We're talking nuclear disaster, fire, maybe. But even then, the fire either burns down the building or you reclaim the building and go back to work. Yeah, you don't just leave everything.

And also, there's no fire. You can see there's no fire. There's zero fire. Also, there would presumably be a record of that, but it doesn't leave many explanations for why you would go. Well, the asylum closing so abruptly was already a strange thing to happen. But to add fuel to the conspiracy fire. There was a fire. There was a fire! There was a fire!

After its closure, the owner of the property quickly left the country, leaving no documentation behind about the land or the buildings on it. What? Yeah. Is that legal? He up and left. So not only did the people inside the building up and leave but the owner of the building who was nowhere to be seen tenuously linked to the whole affair he left the country country that's how bad it was he might have left the planet we don't know where he went

also if you are leaving a country if you're trying to catch a flight out of a country because the mental asylum that you owned had to be abandoned overnight. I mean, that is how you get on a no-fly list. They should take away your passport at least for a day to figure out what's going on. To figure out what's going on. Like, I have a friend whose second name is Hussein and he gets searched almost non-stop at airports randomly this mother owns an abandoned insane asylum and he's trying to flee the country i'm gonna go on the record he's the mad doctor the mad doctor you can be a mad doctor and travel wherever you want whenever you want yeah i'm assuming this guy is covered in blood still

in the lab coat yeah stethoscope with he's holding like a human eye right in the other hand a giant hypodermic needle covered in human blood yeah and they're like sir uh there is metal in the tip of the needle you're gonna have to put it through the x-ray machine and he's like yes very good very good is there a possibility to upgrade to premium they're like sorry sir the flight is fully booked i hope you have a lovely stay very good very good he's just strolling through everyone else is getting searched around him but this guy is like totally fine he's going straight to the tarmac the guy with the x-ray machine is just seeing vials of t-virus in his baggage baggage like whatever sir this is a liquid you're gonna have to put this in

your hold luggage i very i will abide by the laws and might i say what beautiful skin you have my child now since the building closed down it's been completely left to ruin. The only people who go visit it these days are paranormal enthusiasts investigating the site. And this place is not easy to get to, Kit. The building is surrounded by high fences and sharp barbed wire. We saw that. And there's been reports of people injuring themselves trying to get into the asylum. On top of that, the locals are very protective of the site,

and there's been numerous investigators who claim that when they ask, locals would refuse to tell them where it was or deliberately give them the wrong directions. Hmm. Spooky. That is kind of interesting. What are they hiding? What are they hiding? What are they hiding in there?

Huh? Huh. Secrets? The mad doctor? Is he back? The few investigators who have made it into the asylum have harrowing tales. Their stories of mysterious screaming, the sound of footprints, and visitors even say that they've seen the ghosts of dead patients wandering the halls.

People have left the building covered in random scratches with no memory of receiving them. All right, watch your, hey, watch it. Probably the barbed wire. Right, okay. Let's be honest. Well, moving on from the scratches, I guess, because you don't care about them.

One photographer who visited the site by herself said, the hospital has multiple floors, but the ground floor was the darkest and the spookiest in many ways. Even if the hospital was abandoned deliberately for practical reasons, it still seemed eerie to see how disheveled the hospital was. I mean, it's not like this place was cleaned out in an orderly fashion. Plenty of furniture was left in the rooms, particularly on the ground floor.

I found room after room where the mattresses were stacked, wooden furniture was shoved, old blankets were stuffed, all of it slowly rotting from the influx of weather. In some rooms, it looked like they were still set up for patients. Only now, 20 years had passed. A good chunk of the windows were broken, and there was glass everywhere, so it definitely looked like the hospital was abandoned in a hurry thus lending credence to the idea the hospital was overrun with ghosts and since this was a former psychiatric hospital you know that any ghosts that could reside here would be even creepier because they would be the ghosts of former mentally ill patients that's a spooky take i guess it is take

with a fantastic accent what do you think about that the possibility that this institution was maybe not suffering the wrath of a mad doctor but possibly the fact that this place is haunted now is because it was haunted back then and that's why they had to gFO. Damn. So it may have been evacuated for paranormal reasons and not just be paranormal today as a byproduct. Yeah. Now, that would be extremely creepy. And it may also explain why the owner wanted to use your term GTFO of the goddamn country. That would indicate a pretty high level of haunting. That would indicate a pretty high level of haunting.

It's an interesting idea because hospitals, insane asylums, these feature very heavily in kind of haunted location lore. It's sort of seen that these are, like this woman describes, they are a higher tier of haunted than a regular house, which kind of, I don't know if it even makes intuitive sense, just i guess these people are suffering i think that's it they're more likely to become ghosts stay in this realm rather than pass on peacefully into the next realm yeah because you're you're never usually you don't really have a lot of paranormal stories involving a ghost that had a good life passed away in his sleep surrounded by his loved ones but then still

remains here to just mess with people yeah because they all went to heaven i'm pretty sure that's how it works yeah it's like the idea of a poltergeist is a playful dickling little spirit who messes with people as we know in the human living world the only people who are little mischievous dicklings uh are people who kind of have problems uh with themselves yeah so that's why we don't really see too many uh yeah ghosts on beautiful paradise beaches exactly because everyone was fine everyone died and they're fine happy i'm to fade away into ghost town. I don't know what happens when we die. We just die. Who knows what it is.

You might go to ghost town. You might go to flavor town. I'm not an expert. Yeah. So, I mean, this is a place where there obviously was a lot of suffering. This is a place that should, following that theory, have a lot of ghosts. Well, in 2018, the movie Gonjiam Haunted As haunted asylum was released which was a super popular korean movie where a team of youtubers went to the asylum and basically got the crap haunted out of

them the uh the synopsis for the film reads the leader hajun who runs a youtube channel that deals with the supernatural leads the team of youngsters to the Gunjam Asylum and the mysterious room 402. Which is supposed to have never been opened since the hospital closed decades before. Very cool idea for a film. Awesome idea. You replace Paranormal YouTube channel with Paranormal Podcast and we could literally be. I honestly think it would have won an Oscar. Exactly.

I did look into room 402 to see if there was any reality behind that narrative but it seems to be essentially made up for the film got it the current owner of the asylum actually filed a lawsuit to try and stop the movie getting shown worried it would hurt the reputation of the building and decrease the sale price bro give it up you own a haunted asylum this is the greatest thing that could have ever happened to your asylum right i mean it's a it's one of the most popular korean horror films now ever made so that yeah you won the lottery you were trying to sell an abandoned a sane asylum that's been like there are patients records

scattered across the floor there's a we just saw a picture of a bloody hand on the wall so as you can

see here we've got a lovely high security fencing on the outside extremely secure yeah loads of barbed wire

yeah that came that came into place originally actually that'll be good to keep the kids in Margaret yeah and as you see we've got this we've got this dirt trail just up to the building.

You wouldn't want it too easy to drive on, too easy to get to. That way you get sort of paranormal intruders. Anyway, up here, as you can see, if you just walk inside the first holding cell. A bit of broken glass here. Oh, yeah, more than a bit, mate. Better watch your feet. We've got beautiful tiles here with some lovely tribal handprints

along the walls there. I seem to be noticing a number of spiders here on the facility. Right, yeah, there'll be a few of them. This is Lucy, yeah. She's been living here the last while. Scientists actually have never seen this sort of spider before. Right.

It's kind of, well, it's more ghost than spider, really. It's actually a spider-shaped ghost. Is there any chance of getting rid of it, or is that a permanent? God, no, no. She's older than the building, mate. She's pretty quiet during the day, but normally starts sort of, you know, sort of demonic chanting at night. Keep the earplugs in.

It should be absolutely fine. Is the building pet friendly? We have a little chihuahua. Tell you what, mate. Building would normally be pet friendly. But Lucy actually, she gives birth once every 300 years. Yeah. And you don't want to be around for that.

I highly recommend being on holiday for the unbirthing because the chihuahua will not survive, mate. Well, I usually live to about 90 years, so hopefully if we're not in the cycle, it should be... We should be fine. Oh, no, she's fit to birth. She's fit to be... Really, any moment now.

I mean, gun to my head, we'll take it. All right, it's time for some real talk. What happened here? Why did it close down so quickly well apparently gongjam was forced to close in the early 1990s mainly due to economic downturns unsanitary conditions and most importantly problems with the sewage disposal system okay well i think that two of those are the same problem the unsanitary conditions and the sewage the facility was a mess and it eventually got to the point where it was forced to close down they all make sense they're very logical explanations as to why the only thing i

find a bit weird is you know people on in every article i read really honed in on these sewage disposal issues how bad does a sewage disposal system have to be for you to abandon overnight forever forever like were the pipes about to burst with shit in everyone's faces why did everyone have to leave how bad is the poo situation that you have to abandon your belongings that's a great question like like what because if our toilet starts flooding yeah or like shooting up poo or pee or whatever you know i'm gonna come and grab my macbook and some of my clothes i'm not gonna be like i have to leave the country there's so much shit in that building unless it already exploded covering your macbook and everything of course at that point you are the patients were essentially waterfalled out of the facility

it was not much it was more of a forced departure sure sure it's a great point because if it were just that the uh sewage system wasn't working properly yeah you might say okay there's there's a lot of bathrooms here there's x many people staying here how about let's do a staged kind of move we'll get this this many people to move out we'll close on that side of the building then we'll gradually evacuate the building over a few days or something but no like you say possessions left yeah which doesn't make any sense because also if this is what happened the owner who fled the country would essentially have to say to border control i'm leaving because the toilets at my mental institution exploded there there is no box to take they shoot you they shoot you right there on the spot for an answer like that whenever they ask you is it business or pleasure there's no box that says my mental

asylum sewage is overflowing yeah if you try and even fit that in the little box where it's like additional information they will shoot you you're getting you're getting you're not getting into the country for sure well despite gongiam being one of the most popular haunted asylums there are dozens and dozens of these places it's mostly because before the 19th century, there was very little distinction between asylums, poor houses, and jails. Wow. Back then, being poor was pretty much being insane. That's awful. It's really terrible.

As well as being the same as being an illegal. Yeah, I guess rich people would look at poor people and be like, you're crazy to live like this. Lock you up. Yo, straight up fair play i couldn't do what you do i couldn't live on the street bro so respect for that also go to jail please do not pass go these early asylums were often seen as dumping grounds for anyone outside the norm and many facilities were up to 1000% overpopulated. The Danvers Lunatic Asylum in Massachusetts was originally designed to hold mentally unstable prisoners, but before long,

it was housing the mentally ill, alcoholics, and eventually just regular prisoners. It became so severely understaffed by the 1930s that patients' deaths were often not discovered until days later. Whoa Crazy the trans-allegheny lunatic asylum in West Virginia was designed to house around 250 patients but ended up holding more than 2400 my god there was overcrowding Abuse people were locked in cages. It was horrible, horrible situations. Now, why am I talking about all these horrible haunted asylums? Well, because there's a big difference.

All of the horrible events and deaths that took place in these asylums were in some form properly documented. A lot of the stories that came from gongiem asylum are legends and rumors that would naturally pop up uh around a quickly abandoned asylum and that's the major distinction i i looked and searched online i couldn't find any official reports of any investigations into the asylum or the disappearance of the owner yeah From what I could find, it was all above board. There was no investigation into any of the staff or any of the doctors who worked there, assuming that they were insane.

Because that's really the main gap in this is if we're really claiming that the place was abandoned overnight, surely not all those people disappeared forever surely we can go and talk to one of these it's not that long ago we could talk to a doctor yeah and ask them what happened yeah i mean it closed in the uh the early 1990s a lot of the people who probably were there are still alive today toilet exploded wow we had to leave immediately that's all it was that's actually what it was yeah i think it's in this case it seems from the outside that it was just a very quickly abandoned asylum yeah and as i mentioned before anytime i mean when any band building is abandoned very quickly you're probably going to

get some weird rumors around it but a mental institution being abandoned very quickly i mean that's just that's a gasoline fire that's you know words are going to spread especially in a small town like this one so i think that's the big difference that we have to look at today especially when we come down to our conclusions of course so kit i've told you a lot of stories about this building told you about the history i've told you about some of the rumors legends all of the pyramids of the golden pyramid of truth i've shown you pictures i've read you testimonies from photographers who went to the location i've told you about the history of other mental asylums i've done a good day's work where's your head at what are you thinking love this love finally getting to go

to korea i know that you got to go on a fantastic holiday for almost a full week but you know i really feel like i've been there after this episode yeah i painted it in a very creepy light instead of staying in five-star hotels and uh the glitz and glam of Sjol, I've been hanging out for the last hour in a mental asylum in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by barbed wire. You've got to love a haunted asylum case. We've covered them before. But like this one, it just has all the hallmarks of a great haunting case.

And like this, it has so much basis in reality that we can go and visit it and look at it and we have seemingly dozens of testimonies from paranormal investigators that have are gonna go down the line and say that they've heard shit that they've seen shit but like you say the fact that this was at one point a mental asylum does mean that whether anything happened or not people are going to start rumors and we saw this even with the case of bunny man bridge which was centered around a crazy person murdering a bunch of people after escaping from an insane asylum in america yeah it turned out that in that case you didn't even need a real insane asylum for that rumor to spread yeah that story came out of seemingly nowhere absolutely nowhere so it's more than natural that with such a creepy location here in korea that such stories

will spread far and wide i think for that reason the whole thing seems too convenient that on the most sensational end of the spectrum for possible explanations we have an entire hospital emptying overnight and all the people going missing forever and that just seems too impossible to be true yeah it would have to be better documented and we'd have to have families looking for all those people who went missing and it seems maybe that the truth might be at least somewhere more in the middle and maybe more towards the fact that something more mundane happened here. Yeah, I think, I mean, yeah, I think that's really what it comes down to. I mean, because we mentioned other asylums where genuinely horrible things did happen, and that's all been very well documented, and there's a historical record of that.

But in this case, this asylum, the Gun Jam Asylum, I mean, it's all rumors. It's all, like like there is really no concrete evidence of anything that happened here so it'd be a different story i think if we were investigating one of these asylums where we know horrible things took place but in this case we don't even know if anything bad happened here to begin with and if we don't even know that anything bad happened it's hard to even jump to the conclusion that something paranormal happened. That's even a step further than that. I don't know if we're on the same page here for this week.

But for me, I think this week it's going to be a no. No. I do not believe that this asylum is haunted. I do want to watch that movie though yeah oh apparently it's really good and really creepy yeah i know like definitely watch a good korean horror movie that is uh piece de la resistance that's some beautiful stuff yeah and this is very highly highly highly rated um so thank you so much for listening to this week's episode about the Gonjiam Asylum and whether or not it is haunted or not. Unfortunately, it's another no.

Another no this week. Yet another. But what was lovely was we got to talk about my new favorite place in the world, Korea. That's right. This week we are sponsored by Korea. Visit Korea. The country, visit Korea.

I am basically 24-7 trying to find a way to move there now so if you are a korean national and want to get married please let me know and um send me uh your information and uh we'll make this thing happen i don't know if we have any listeners out there in the paranormal korean nation um but i do know that people were very excited when we briefly talked about bts in a previous episode it's very true hopefully yeah send over your marriage proposals i'll go through them all age is not a factor gender not a factor i just want to go to korea north or south i am not picky i actually don't care about korea either uh but

i'm actually pretty lonely pretty lonely as shit thought uh having a paranormal podcast would bring in the ladies but uh turns out not really their primary uh interest so um just to go uh to see us out this week i like long walks on the beach i like the music of b BTS and the sunsets in Korea. So if you have no interest before last week. All of my interests were overrided when I went to heaven, a.k.a. Seoul. Okay. I like romantic candlelit dinners from food purchased at the 7-Eleven in Guri, a district outside of the central city of Korea. So make different countries as well.

I like long walks by the DMZ, the Demilitarized Zone, and the North and South Border, which is really great. So get in contact if you want to do that. It can't be a long walk, can it? It's actually a pretty short walk, but I do loops, all right?

I do loops to make it last longer but if you if you don't like walking we can only we don't have to loop we'll just do it once so there you i'm also a good negotiator a good compromiser so there you go got that going for me as well so get in touch i don't think anyone's ever gotten the emails by asking people to email them marriage proposals at send me toocorea at gmail.com. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of This Paranormal Life. Another no, but another banger in the bag. I mean, what could be better than listening to a podcast, right?

Maybe seeing it with your eyes. What? Hearing it with your ears. I guess that's still the same thing. But smelling it with your nose. I guess that's still the same thing. But smelling it with your nose. Surely not. That's right. If you want the full 5D experience, you can get that in the form of the This Paranormal Life live show.

That's right. Kit, you got the details. Let's hear them. Sunday, 15th of September, 2019. You can enjoy one night only this Paranormal Live live at King's Place London for the London Podcast Festival. Live, live, live. Live, live, live. Paranormal. Paranormal.

Spooky. 5D. Yeah, we are doing a live investigation here in London. You should absolutely get tickets because tickets are actually moving quite fast. So if you do want to come to the show, I wouldn't wait till the last minute to pick them up because I don't know how many are going to be left when this episode is released. We've done a live show before and a lot of people said it was the best night of their life. I actually, one of our listeners, I think, asked if they wanted to have a threesome or a foursome someone had an orgy i think there was one definitely one which was a good amount neither of us were invited which i think actually was super rude pretty much like if anyone's

getting invited to to join the orgy it should be me i mean i love korea i like long walks by the dmz i'm the perfect partner well you asked for marriage unbelievable yeah you want I don't want to just do an orgy without some commitment on the line

okay unbelievable but come to the live show it's going to be really great we're going to do a whole big live investigation it's going to be amazing so if you do want to pick up

tickets for the live show you can do that at kingsplace.co.uk that's the name of the venue we're going to be performing at. But if you check out our socials as well, we'll tweet the link. And as always, if you support us on Patreon, what we like to do is end the show by giving you a very special shout out. So thank you to August Blicker Friss.

June's all right. July's okay. But I prefer August. August is the best month because it is the fall. But instead of leaves, we got that cash money flowing down from August himself. Bling bling. With your support, you help us survive the winter, August. So thank you very much from the bottom of our hearts.

Thanks also to Michael Siegel. Why don't you back off my fish and chips, Mike Siegel? Or I might kill you, Mike Hill Siegel. Do you think Siegel, they must be way fed up of ice cream and fish and chips. That's all they eat. I don't know how they haven't exploded from the sheer obesity. Honestly, Mike, I hope you're staying trim, doing some cardio.

Thanks also to Taylor S. Baum. Taylor, I'm about to drop an S. Baum. I am shitting happy you're supporting us on Patreon. You are the shit. So thank you for your support. I'm sorry to be too crass. Pardon my French. I just support you immensely. And it

makes me really shitting happy. So thank you. Thank you also to Anna. Wow, if it isn't Anna the Planner. She's a literal notebook. A literal diary of herself. A literal calendar if you will.

How is she supporting us? How does she live? I guess she's got everything in order. She's got everything together. Listen, top executives from all around the world come to Anna to plan out. To write on her face. Because that's what she does best. Anna, I mean, we need your help.

We're behind in Patreon shoutouts. We're behind in episodes. I haven't seen my kids in like five days. Haven't mentioned them in two years. If you could give us some planning, Anna, that would really help us out, Anna. Thanks also to Stacey Meyer.

Stacey Meyer, the time crier. That's right. she just runs about with a bell uh screaming in the faces of anyone the news it's not a job anymore no one does it no one's paying her sometimes it's not even news she's ran up and screamed in a baby's face yeah ringing that bell way louder than it should have been yeah um but I don't know how you're getting paid, but I think people maybe pay you to stop, which I guess is a career. But you haven't done it yet,

but they're still throwing money at you and you're collecting it in that bell. Stacey, thank you for your support. And, you know, if we ever need to promote a live show, we will absolutely request your services. Thanks also to Rachel Purcell. Rachel, if this was 19th century Korea and you were sick, I would put you in a Purcell. God, that was a stretch.

Because there is no distinction. So I know you don't deserve it. It's just like a loose rhyme on your last name. But honestly, that's enough for you to get locked behind barbed wire for many a year. Very true. But it also means that you are a Korean native. So will you marry me, Rachel? We can live in the cell together.

Have kids in the cell together. You're willing to live in a jail. I'll do what it takes to go back to Korea, whatever it takes. Just consider it, Rachel. Thanks also to MKFrygeist. Before CIA Operation MKUltra, there was a little operation called MKFrygeist. No. That's right.

They tried to combine a gun and a goose. It's the most dangerous weapon with the most dangerous animal. It's the most dangerous weapon with the most dangerous animal. So I think what we're dealing with here and who we're being supported by is this gun goose. Wow. A goose. I wonder if it ran out of ammo in all those years. I don't think. I think it lays egg-like ammo to supply itself with bullets.

Somehow the thing's making money. And MK is here supporting us on the show i believe uh the goons uh was the second invention of oppenheimer after the nuclear bomb they said how could oppenheimer possibly outdo himself yeah he is he's potentially ended humanity uh but then he invented the gun and goose hybrid because the quote what for the bomb was like right now i am death or something now destroyer destroyer of worlds i think after the goons he said i've really f***ed it now yeah this shit is crazy i think if you actually you can still find that um that like it like a cool, he's like talking to the camera.

Yeah. As it's being poured. Now I have really f***ed it up. This goose is unstoppable. It's one of his most famous lines. Killed him instantly, obviously. Because I was back, you know, if the nuclear bomb didn't do anything, it was like, we have the goons.

We have the goons in case it's not enough. Of course it was. Luckily, they didn't unleash the goons. But the goons is out now. The goons is supporting us. Some Patreon. I'm so glad that you laid a golden egg for us. To support us.

So thank you so much. Thanks for not killing us. Thanks also to Fernando. Whoa. It's Fernando the commando nice this guy is just his day job is just sprinting through the rainforest like arnie and the predator just running and gunning slashing vines with a knife craziest bit is he doesn't actually work for any sort of military he's just a commando he's freelance yeah and instead of hunting uh the predator he's hunting the goons the goons is wild and the commando commander needs to hunt him down do whatever it takes really the two most ultimate

fighting weapons on this earth pitted against each other it's spectacular and they still have time to listen to the show it's spectacular and they still have time to listen to the show it's fantastic stuff thank you they actually have a lot in common that way yeah maybe hope they hope they realize that thanks also to lucille it's a good thing you're not in 1930s korea because you would be lucille's behind steel bars that's right you're going straight into the p-p-p-poor house. We do not care how rich you are, how stable you are, how alcoholic you are. You're going in there. But luckily, you're not there. Because this isn't the 1930s, this is 2000 and now.

And you're free to do whatever you want, listen to whatever you want, and support whoever you want on Patreon. So thank you, Lucille. Enjoy your freedom. Every day is a gift. Thanks also to James Grigg. James Grigg, half gun, half pig. Surely not. You thought the goons was bad? We're not talking copper. We're talking oink oink.

Oink in. He's absolute, I mean, bullets firing out of his nostrils. You trigger his little curly pigtail. Of course. You pull that thing and he's firing them out. He's the second most deadly weapon slash animal on this planet. And he supports the podcast. I'm flattered.

And thanks lastly, but not leastly, to Paperheart. Is that a riff on your lyrics? Oh, yeah. Didn't I write uh my paper my little paper heart wow if that is a callback to that fair play i've that's the funny thing about doing this show every week is like you we do it there's such a quick turnaround on a weekly podcast that you forget what you have to move on from the jokes you've already established so quickly if that is a callback to my poem uh what did i call my weak little paper heart my little paper heart jesus christ that's a callback to that hey i appreciate it um the

album is still for sale it's me uh just doing a bunch of emo songs i don't know i was gonna buy well if you do want it it's still still for sale. It's still available. And if you're just trying to tell us that you need heart replacement, we'll relay that message to the Paranormal Commune. I mean, we're in a weird situation in the Paranormal Commune where we have

a surplus of human hearts. And we don't really know what to do with it. We don't really want to go into why or how. It's a long story. There's a two to one ratio on living humans to human hearts at the minute. I mean, we can't get rid of the bastards, to be honest with you.

So if you do need a heart, hell, you want two hearts. Maybe your heart's fine, but you want a better one. Let us know. We can sort you out with it. It's one of the pluses of being a member of the Paranormal Commune member of the paranormal commune free hearts

so thank you so much for your support paper heart and thank you so much to everyone's support for everyone who listens to the show and supports us on patreon we are so grateful thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode and we will be back next week

with a brand new Paranormal Tale.