This Paranormal Life - #139 The Hodag: An (Almost) Indestructible Cryptid

Episode Date: November 19, 2019

Wisconsin folklore tells the story of a creature so small and powerful it can only be killed with dynamite. But what happens when you want to try and catch one of these suckers alive? Time to investigate the Wisconsin Hodag.Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityResearch by Amy GrisdaleEdited by Louis BlatherwickIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens if a cat was raised by dogs? If the sun sets, why doesn't the moon set? All these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Hello everyone and welcome to This Paranormal Life! The comedy paranormal podcast hosted by myself, Rory Powers, and this guy over here, Kit Greer. Hello. Now, Kit, I see that today you've gone for the full black look, shades, and an earpiece. That's right. Podcast is usually a one-to-one communication,

but this earpiece is not like a normal security kind of earpiece. This thing is tuned to multiple dimensions. Okay. We'll maybe take it out, though, because that seems super distracting. You would think what they're saying is actually a little more interesting than what you're saying a lot so it is distracting then because if that's more interesting than what i'm saying on the podcast i'm just worried i'm gonna lose you right if you might because what they're saying is actually pretty crazy over a nebula on five what are they talking about me oh yeah they listen to

the cast what what are they saying do they like me well they like some of the episodes of the show but others they're not so hot on did they like so the last one for example uh well that was that was one of my ones they actually liked that one but about the one before that what about what about my one no they're they're booing actually in this earpiece i can hear it what's that guys it sucked it was bone bone dry is their words do they do they speak english in this earpiece. I can hear it actually. What's that, guys? It sucked. It was bone dry is their words. Do they speak English in their dimension? You speak f***ing English?

Okay. In your nebula? You little shit. Hold on. It's not easy to host this shit. Would you keep it, Don? I'm trying to. Guys, listen.

Yeah, I know. He's a deadbeat. I know. I can't hear them. I can hear you fine. I agree with you. The episode did suck pretty bad but jesus christ listen i gotta i gotta do a shitty podcast so i'll call you back sorry bro back in the room

all right look we're gonna push through here today we have a fantastic email suggestion from peyton vold and alec does now they emailed into thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com and said that there was a devilish spiked monster tormenting Wisconsin and the state needed our help in investigating the creature before it was too late. The state needs our help? The state. This is a formal request from the state of Wisconsin. Wow. They need our help in investigating a horrible beast i've never been to your state but it would be an honor the year is 1893 i'm pretty sure that's right it is the first piece of information so i'd hope so it's winter wait summer i thought you said the state needs our help and yet you've gone back in time 125 years.

This is where it begins. They need our help. They're just telling us a little bit of backstory before we go over there guns loaded. That's not where you don't ring 999, name your emergency service. The year was 1705. My great, great, great grandfather.

Hello? I'm bleeding out. My great grandfather stabbed me. The year is 1893, and it's a wintry night in Rhinelander, Wisconsin. A small logging town where travelers and outcasts could roll in and make a couple bucks logging. A place where the beer is cold and the locals are colder. It's late one night at one of the local logging camps. Redneck locals are winding down after a hard day's work.

Beers are popped, songs are sung around the campfire as the cold winds rush through the campsite. But suddenly, they heard a noise coming from the dark of the forest. Bushes rustling, heavy panting. All of a sudden, a man bursts out in front of them. The man was cold, visibly shaken, and despite being out of breath, the loggers could make out one word. the loggers could make out one word hoedag what hoedag hoedag okay so right off the bat uh these men might normally recognize a hoe as a farming tool farming tool but a dag you lost me hoedag look granted that was a slightly dramatized retelling of the story oh uh but this is how the story of the hodag began all right the man's name was gene shepherd a local timber cruiser

who'd been working out in the woods by himself and that's when he saw it a creature unlike anything he'd seen before he said it had spikes all the way down its entire length of its body, with a fistful of needle-sharp pointed spears at the end of its tail, fangs that would rival a saber-toothed tiger. It could rip the belly out of the biggest bear. So he's named three different types of spike. I think we had spears, spikes, and fangs. Needle-sharp spears spikes and fangs needle sharp spears of course spikes on its on its body and fangs like a tiger he saw a porcupine it's a headshot but

it's massive it's aggressive it's a beast it's got fangs this thing it's a truly terrifying description okay hearing but here was the problem gene shepherd was a liar he was a prankster and he was a crook how do you know this i have it on it was 120 years ago how do you possibly know this he was known as the in the local village of being a bit of a dick ling like a bit of a little a bit of like a boy who cried wolf type scenario i think he was involved in a number of schemes okay this probably maybe wasn't the first time he told people he'd seen things um but after discussing whether or not the men should listen to gene they finally decided to go with him back into the woods and see if they could track down this beast that he was

talking about so they load up their rifles the gene starts laughing you're not gonna be around for long if you take guns like that to a beast like this all right you know what i don't believe you anymore this no i'm sorry no no hold on i'm sorry okay so you want the guns yeah but i'm i just i think he's quite big that i'm he's like got like seven different kinds of spikes i just think maybe we should pack something with a little more punch big more than more punch than guns gene said there's only one way to take down a creature this tough dynamite all right well to be fair i forgot about dynamite i forgot we were talking about some looney tunes ass universe for some reason uh they believed him and loaded up with a ton of dynamite enough tnt to turn that sob into a dlb a dead little bitch oh the men headed out into the woods

ready to capture the beast. Dead or alive? Dead, I assume. Because they're using a f***ing ton of dynamite. And it wasn't long before a photographer was called into the woods. Hurry, get over here! To document what it was that they had captured. Now, this photograph of the men gathered around a defeated hoedag had become famous in Wisconsin crypt cryptid history and i have

that picture with me today did did they blow it up or not it's just dust i think so take a look at this and see for yourself what the f**k yeah so what kid is looking at right now is the picture they took that day of the captured hoedag that's pretty much been burnt to cinders. It's completely black. And there is 20 maybe men all around it with weapons and pitchforks. There are 20 Charlie Chaplin cosplayers shoot around a beast. I mean, these men have the the mustache the little bowler hat these whenever you said lumberjacks or whatever i was you said you said this was a lumber ton where the beers

were cold and the locals were colder they they how dare you sir these are these are frostbitten men of the wild sure they're wearing shirts fashionable they're fashionable you're supposed to be freezing cold sorry for trying to look good while they're trying to whether cutting down a log all right okay i'm trying to move past the very fashionable man uh good looking dad squad yeah it is it's a it's a period correct dad squad absolutely what the f**k is this beast that's the hodag what that's it okay so this thing it's animal like its body is not like dissimilar length or maybe a fox or something like that but that is where the comparisons truly end it has yeah spikes like a stegosaurus bear like feet its head is a literal gargoyle head it's a little monster and then it has uh horns like a

devil and it has a row of upper teeth i didn't even see those horrifying this is a terrifying image and it's standing over a man who seems to have been attacked so i think that once the creature had been uh killed this is it kind of uh propped up and this was a sort of dramatic uh photograph of like retelling the defeat of the monster okay so i think i hope well he looks like he's really dead but hopefully he's just lying there but it's very hard to tell this thing is weird man it looks like a little like pit bull almost but like if a pit bull had sex with a demon and then this thing popped out yeah mostly demon mostly demon it has its father's horns the creature apparently was the quote fiercest, strangest, most frightening monster ever to set razor-sharp claws on the earth.

The reason there were so few around is because it became extinct after its main food source, all-white bulldogs, became scarce in the area. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? What did you say? All-white? All-white bulldogs. Is that a type of bulldog?

It's either a type of bulldog or just a bulldog that's all white. This doesn't make any sense. But dogs aren't even that... Dogs haven't been around for that long. How could this thing go extinct when dogs... What? I don't know, man.

What do you want from me? What do you want from me here? I don't know when dogs went extinct. This is like saying know when dogs went extinct this is like saying like the dodo went extinct because uh they ran out of twinkies what did they eat before the twinkies i don't know stop asking so many questions no it's look the the bulldogs became scarce in the area so they obviously ate them all down to the bone. They're gone. What did they eat before the first bulldog? There was always bulldogs! There was always bulldogs!

God made man, woman, sun, moon, and then the bulldog. Animals take millions of years to evolve. And only one second to eat, Kit. No, I'm talking about this demon! Even demons take years to evolve, I think. I don't know't know look i'm just reading you the facts that they have that has become gospel in wisconsin all right so don't insult the people

absolutely no sense this photo was published in the local papers and obviously took off immediately. The legend of the brutal hoedag sweeping through Wisconsin like a paranormal storm. But like all storms, eventually the excitement subsided and the hype around the hoedag died. In fact, as time went on, people started to doubt the story altogether. I wonder why. Maybe the whole thing was made up maybe the photo was fake and gene is a liar before long rheinlander went back to a sleepy logging town and gene shepherds returned to timber cruising what does that mean oh that's his job timber cruising what is timber cruise so i thought it was like transporting timber right because it's like it sounds like you know timber taking a cruise from one place to another uh but i believe

it's actually the process this is super boring but i believe it's actually the process of examining someone's property or forest and then estimating the value of the timber that they have and putting like a market price on their property i'm just imagining him walking up to a lot and it's like so so gene and thanks for coming to take a look at the old ranch uh how much you think this puppy's worth well you know it's a pretty nice place you got here i was beginning to think you really had something that is until i saw some hoedag prints down here a whole what Yep, that thing's gonna eat up this lot in the next couple weeks, I bet.

I suppose I could take it off your hands for, um, I don't know, $50? I'd pay more, but hoedag got my wallet. I suppose that's fair. You're an honorable man, Gene. That or timber cruising sounds like surfing. Surfing a log so it's absolutely like surfing which is pretty badass a lot more cool than um just evaluating wood so everything had

pretty much died down until 1869 three years later gene once again bursts into a logging camp out of breath three years later you said 1893 at the start of the story look you said 1893 at the beginning look we've gone back in time 25 years look time is irrelevant in a story like this no absolutely i refuse i refuse that this is bigger than time itself nope first you tell me it feeds exclusively on white bulldogs which are not native to anywhere did i mention the hodag has a delorean did i mention that in the first part did i mention that he also wears a lab coat and his long gray hair maybe i should have called him by his first name doc hodag brown and Gene Marty Shepard. It was three years later, okay?

Three years after they found the original Hodag. So nothing to do with 1869. Okay. 1896. Three years later, Gene once again burst into a logging camp out of breath. It's back, he said. The Hodag is back. So no one's seen the Hodag hoedag is back so no one's seen the hoedag for three years yeah no one's seen it and since it was killed weirdly gene is the first person to

see it again i'm starting to think he's the only one looking at this rate right you know that or well let's not say anything yet because there's still a lot of the story to go so we don't know what's gonna happen the hoedag is back kit if this was true this was a chance for gene to prove to everyone that he'd been telling the truth that the creature really did exist that's true his reputation is kind of tarnished a little bit after last time it is a little sick of his nonsense but of course the only way to do this to prove to them all was to capture this thing alive so true according to shepherd's report he went back out into the woods alongside several bear wrestlers to hunt no no no this is a real that's a real profession no it was you said they had guns why do they need bear wrestlers

because they want it alive they don't want to kill it you already said they couldn't kill it sure they the guns couldn't kill it but it might have been wounded wounded to the point where it would it would bleed out they don't want to risk it oh so they need to choke it out instead yeah a little you know suplex onto a pile of stones would just knock the beast out. That sounds like it might wound it, which you seem to be very worried about. He's like, remember, no guns. We need to take it alive. One of the wrestlers slams it on the ground and it explodes immediately.

Look, he goes out into the woods alongside several bear wrestlers to hunt the beast and subdue it after discovering the cave the creature was living in they placed a chloroform rag on the end of a long pole and poked around in the darkness that's what bear wrestlers do the bear no wonder they can wrestle the bear they drug the bitch first that is insane. The bear wrestlers are the final straw. They're like bodyguards surrounding Gene. They're like a weapon you don't want to have to use. If the rag can knock this thing out, they're gonna use the rag. This isn't even UFC. This is the f***ing jungle.

There's no rules. There's no laws. That means, yes folks, I know what you're wondering. You can gouge eyes. They place the chloroform rag on the end of a long pole. They poke it around in the darkness. And eventually, the creature was overcome and became knocked out. Okay. So now Gene had it.

A live hoedag. Really? It's like the boy who cried wolf chloroforming a wolf. Gene used the hoedag as an attraction, showcasing the animal at county fairs, local events, where members of the public could pay money to come see a live hoedag in the flesh. According to Jerry Shadel, former Rhinelander mayor who's portrayed Shepard in reenactments, former Rhinelander mayor who's portrayed Shepard in reenactments. Shepard kept the hoedag in his barn.

People came from all over to see it. Shepard would have on a nice suit of clothes and disappear from sight. The commotion would then become horrendous. Growling, snarling, snapping and breaking, ripping and tearing. After a minute or two... This is terrifying. What's he breaking? What's he tearing? After a minute or two, Shepard would come running back up the stairs with his clothes in tatters. He would tell the people, I'm really sorry, I can't show you the hoedag today. He's just not viewable. He's angry.

I'm very confused. So the Hodag was, I think you said, the most vicious, terrifying creature to set its razor-sharp claws on Earth. That is correct, yes. Bullets can't kill it. No. Good luck. Explosions need, you need explosions to kill it. And preferably bear wrestlers. Right.

Don't really get that logic either. But yet he keeps it in a tent. Sorry, in his barn and a tent it seems look there's obviously a cage in the barn in the tent okay all right he's not an idiot he's got this thing on lockdown it doesn't sound like it sounds like it tears him up to shit every night it's probably sealed in whatever the hell they sealed han solo in i think look shepherd ship this is the second timeepard's dealt with a hoedag, all right? Right. I think he's got this thing under control.

No, he doesn't. He just said it was angry and he couldn't show it to anyone. Yeah, sure. It brutalized him. He said there was gnashing and snarling, tearing and thrashing. And some snapping and breaking in there as well, which I'm not sure that was. Who? What did he break?

Was he breaking the hook? Dang. Gene Shepard emerged from the darkness with every limb broken into tiny pieces. Using only the muscles in his neck to crawl along the ground like a caterpillar, he said, someone had called me a doctor.

The beast is not viewable. There will be no refunds. At which point everybody started taking advantage of his limp, limp body and taking the cash from his wallet. With all the buzz around a live hoedag, it wasn't long before the news. No one knew what a hoedag was until five minutes ago. Yeah, but you want to see it now because you've heard the stories, the legends.

You can't believe it. I guess. And it wasn't long before the news spread outside of Rhinelander. Newspapers all over the country were writing about this exotic cryptid captured in a barn. Eventually, this led to a group of scientists from the Smithsonian hearing the news and deciding to take a trip to visit Gene Shepherd and examine the creature close up. Upon hearing about their intended visit, Gene basically said,

Look, I made it up. WHAT?! What?! The hoedag isn't real. The live hoedag that he was showcasing around the country was a log of wood covered in an ox hide. No, Gene. With cattle horns stuck on that. And Gene would control it with wires while his son made growling noises. Wow.

while his son made growling noises wow unfortunately by the time gene admitted this the hodag had already been made the rhinelander town mascot oh jesus they'd spent half the time's budget for the year on this beautiful mascot you know you know that that when he went into uh into the this the the town hall to tell the mayor he's like yeah so um i actually made the whole thing up and the mayor's like in a full hoedag outfit signing the permits for the hoedag parade hoedag merchandise on all the shelves and he's like have you told anyone else that you made it up no i don't think so then it stays with us we're gonna find a f***ed up bear and we're gonna tell everyone it's a hoedag when gene shepherd was asked about why he lied and i imagine at this point the whole town is gathered into like a giant angry mob with like

pitchforks and everything he said people people please calm down calm down look not only hundreds but thousands of people came to view the hoedag me and not one of them went away without having learned a little bit more about northern wisconsin in this, the beauties, opportunities, and resources of northern Wisconsin spread. Oh my God. And many who came out of curiosity only have come to make their home with us. Break his f***ing

kneecaps! Put dynamite in his ass. What? Kill the hoedag! Oh, you misunderstand. Maybe the hoedag oh you misunderstand maybe the hoedag was society itself all along they threw the slammer shut oh no let me out guys i'll show you a real hoedag even still today the hoedag is a massive part of ryan lander's history i really liked what one website said when they wrote, local golfers will still attribute lost balls to the hoedag. Fishermen lose record-breaking catches to the clutches of the hoedag.

In other words, the hoedag most certainly lives on. In the lives of liars? In the minds and the hearts of local Wisconsinites, or whatever you call yourself. But it sounds like if you're a loser and you're trying to make yourself sound awesome yeah you attribute things to the hoedag yeah like oh man i just like i made out with this crazy hot girl yeah last night what's her name uh can we meet her her name is modag her name is jameson her name first name is modag her name is jameson her first name is modag yeah is that long for something or

short for something it's long for mode mode mode mo it's long for mo and i'd love to smoke show mo is a smoke show i'd love to frankly introduce you to her right but she was eaten by the hodak oh so i can't actually insanely unlikely given her name well it happened and it did and it's a really sensitive subject to even bring up because i'm heartbroken because i always thought you just made eyes yeah and it was it was love it was love on one on one you kissed once you frenched one we didn't even get there yet. It was just like a hug at the end of the night. But I just felt like a connection with Moe Day.

Our souls fucking connected on like an astral level. It wasn't technically a hug because she was limp. But I put my arms around her. When did the the hoedag strike the hoedag hadn't struck yet that was later in the night she didn't know i was gonna that night it was when i dropped her off sure yeah i said good night to my sweetheart and the beast came and took her down so i would have loved to introduce you to her. You're a hoedag. Because she was a 10.

You'd think our story would end here, wouldn't you? Seeing as you said it's all fake, yeah. And the guy who invented the hoedag said he invented the hoedag. Yeah, so you'd think it's all wrapped up, isn't it? Yeah, I guess it is. But it wouldn't be this paranormal life without a good twist. Sure, maybe Gene Shepard lied about killing a hoedag and sure maybe he lied again about capturing a hoedag of course but does that mean that the creature itself doesn't exist yeah kit it's time that i showed you mishi peshu the Mishi Peshu, the Ojibwe water panther. What did you say? Mishi Peshu.

Ever heard of it? No. According to the Great Lakes tribes, the Mishi Peshu is like a panther with sharp, large spikes protruding out his back. Sound familiar? With short, stumpy legs and demonic horns on its head. Wow. That sounds unbelievably similar. To make things even better, I have a pictograph of the creature marked into Agawa Rock in Ontario.

It basically looks like an old school cave painting. Wow. So how old is this? Cut that from the podcast. What? Me asking how old it is? I don't know how old it is. I mean, you could just Google it. Well, it was drawn on rock with what looks like blood so pretty whenever we whenever

we were doing that as humans you know what it's pretty old yeah we're looking at a kind of like a hoedag we're looking at a hoedag it looks okay painted on the rock if you'd shown this to me pre-hodag episode what I call the good years. The good episodes. I would have said this was a dragon of some kind. Sure. Now, but post-Hodag episodes. So the bad years, what would you say?

Yeah, it looks pretty much like what we just saw the guy standing around. It's a four-legged beast. Granted, it's 2Dd so it's only got two legs big long tails spines all the way down like a stegosaurus big old spikes on the top like a demon it's a hoedag it is and it seems to be followed by what a boat maybe a couple snakes i know that evidence has been a little bumpy for the hoedag but i already said it's not real well no i said one person lied twice the guy who invented it he didn't invent it i think as the rock states it's been around for a pretty goddamn long time you got to admit this thing has like it's got a bit of charm to it

as far as cryptids go that we've investigated this little demonic bulldog is you know i like him he's got some he's got some attitude to him you know bigfoot bigfoot doesn't have a personality the loch ness monster doesn't have a freaking this thing's personality is that it's a demon it's a piece of shit it's well watch watch it all right this thing is badass you can't kill it with a gun it needs to be killed by dynamite except when it is drugged and wrestled out of a cage which i still don't understand because i thought we established it was killed with dynamite yet in the in the photo you showed me it was pristine it wasn't pristine it was cooked like a piglet it wasn't

it was burnt to a crisp sure we've got records of ancient beasts similar to the hoedag that may have existed long ago but what we still don't have is any evidence of a creature like this stomping around in today's world however on january 24th 2007 three years later a video was uploaded by user rhinelander hoedag of a rhinelander local sharing a troubling experience that he had with a certain beast. I feel like the YouTube account Rhinelander Hodak is a little biased on this front. All I'm going to say is watch the video. And if you're not convinced by the end of this three minute video, then I will concede and I will tell you, I'll agree with you.

You will agree that this thing is, which is insane because you've already explained that it's made up. So it's insane that you've backtracked somehow on that. But you will agree. There's a little back and forth. There's some wiggle room in the case. Nothing is 100%. Jesus f***ing Christ. Okay.

Show me the video. Let's just watch the video. And if I don't like it... Just chill out. If I don't think it's... Don't tell me to chill out chill out you're becoming you're acting like a hoedag around here if i but you're a hoedag hey i guess they are real i f***ing podcast with one geez who knew just let's watch the video then you can decide whether or not you think a hoedag is real okay okay i've got before we hit play i've i've got a screen cap of this video. I'm not watching this video.

Why not? There's a hillbilly in front of a green curtain. That's a country gentleman, all right? That's not a hillbilly. That's a man of the world. You know what? That first black and white image was a lot nicer when it was black and white and grainy. In full color, I'm not liking what I'm seeing.

This is a local Rhinelander gentleman who's come into contact possibly with a hoedag. Let's just hear him out. Okay. I was mushroom hunting on a trail, of course, a logging trail up in northern Oneida County, north of Rhinelander here. And I got to turn in the trail. And as I made the turn, I saw this green thing there. He was green and he was whistling and he was clapping and he was kind of on three legs giving me one of these pointing to something that was around the corner in the ditch. When I got there, sure enough, there was another one. And when I looked back back at him he took off down the trail and in the ditch it was i heard grunting it sounded like somebody who eat eat potatoes trying to get into an old

pair of levi's and um wait what stop stop what sorry what did he just say? He said, obviously, it sounded like someone who eat potatoes try to get into an old pair of Levi's. What about that? What about that do you not understand? He couldn't have been more descript. You know what? Never mind. Just keep playing.

What it was, was another hoedag that I thought was giving birth, but its head was leaning back trying to get its horns near its tail and as I got closer I realized he or she must have sat down in a in a ant's nest and it was all over the tail end of this hoedag and I kind of felt sorry for it and I got real close and really there was nothing I could do I had already wet my pants and the first thing I saw was this huge green tail and I thought it was a snake because I was used to snakes I learned how to

sleep standing up on a dresser when our boa constrictor got loose in the house and I figured best I could do was maybe take the bottle of mosquito lotion in my pocket take the cork out and splash that on the tail end of this hoedag in the ditch and maybe I'll get rid of the ants big mistake I tossed the mosquito lotion the ants kind of scattered this thing popped up screeched and all the seed cones fell out of the trees and that's why you wonder why we got so much evergreen trees up here after the another big screen backed up to a huge pine tree and started scratching from the back end to the forward i went to my my car, waited for a bit. When everything seemed to stop, I walked back to get my mushrooms, which were in the bag. And I looked and that tree

was leaning about 30 degrees. And all that was left at the base of the tree was a head and the horns of that hoedag. And I took it back home and i have it mounted over a fireplace in my uh one of my cabins and last time i told that story was to a door-to-door insurance salesman he didn't believe me either so i'm going for 50 50 here well are you convinced i demand that we end the podcast not i demand that we go straight to conclusions i guess it's a double yes folks no i mean no of course not what we we had a firsthand testimony of a guy who went head to toe with a with a hoedag there is too many details for me to unpack from this boy you described as a country gentleman yeah from his account this is this is a

guy you can trust all right i don't know if you heard but he learned how to sleep standing up when his pet boa constrictor got loose in the house that is a man who should be on the the motherfucking galactic 12 with that level of wilderness training i'm not sure he has a hodag's head mounted above his fireplace he's captured one of the most elusive and dangerous beasts that we've ever we've ever investigated i'm gonna float something here he was hunting for mushrooms he admitted that that was how the story started yeah yeah yeah and then this fantastical almost psychedelic adventure involving a mythical beast. What are you implying, sir?

Played out in which it was screeching and clapping and there were noises and it was green. It was bright green. I don't know why it's changed color. I don't actually know what color they are. And then he hid for a while. And then once, as he explained, everything, quote, died down and went back to normal, he then went to go retrieve his mushrooms. All I'm saying is that's a local giving his first hand description of coming in contact

with the beast. We've got ancient rock drawings of creatures that look just like the beast. Forget about Gene Shepard. Shouldn't have led with him. That was a mistake. That time traveling bastard the first 30 minutes of the podcast on someone who said it was a lie but this this hodag you know he's been here he's been here since the beginning of time and he's here now in 2007

harassing innocent mushroom farmers he's somehow been here since the beginning of time, yet only eaten bulldogs. Maybe he ate some sort of similar bulldog dinosaur. I can see I've almost got you. You're like, you're so close to a yes. I feel like you're almost there. Look, this little spiky bastard has personality, all right? Why are you so obsessed with his personality?

I like him. I like the little guy. I feel like me and him would get on. little spiky bastard has personality all right why are you so obsessed with his personality i like him i like the little guy i feel like me and him would get on what do you feel you have in common we're both hard as nails okay so that's the personality is that you're hard as nails come close will hurt you um pretty lonely as well not a lot of other hoedags to hang out with there's only one crazy old man out there that believes in you and it ain't my old man he's more of the hunting kind i just think i just think it's he's a great cryptid we've investigated a lot of cryptids i like this one but does that mean it's real look it's a it's a it's a difficult case you know how much i love the hoedag and i

wish this little guy was real hell i want to go to go to Wisconsin now to go visit the place that Peyton and Alec both said needed our help. I want to visit Wisconsin. I want to march in the hoedag parade, dress up as the hoedag. But will I say on this podcast that he is real? No. It seems like a kind of leap of faith that i'm not willing to make yeah the interview i found with the uh rheinlander uh what did i say forest gentleman something like that right that was the last kind of bit of evidence that i found that i thought i would kind of end the case on to try

and pull this thing together yeah of course but i don't think it was enough what we really needed was a captured hoedag uh live a video of a hoedag pictures of a uh hoedag with a lot more quality in them and a lot more believability not only was the interview with the forest gentleman not enough it was the opposite of enough it it destroyed the entire case never before have i i didn't realize that an eyewitness testimony could ruin an investigation before but yet here we are let's not beat around the bush here hodag what do we think real not real kit do you want to go first you already said he's not real jesus christ gene said he's not real rory said he's not real and then you turn to me and say well what do you think is he real sorry

to give you i'm trying to give you a chance to see if you want to i don't know where your head's at the point is he's not goddamn real i think it's a real mystery to be investigated here is why the hell did anyone make it up in the first place? Kind of interesting that there's a cave painting, but I guess that could be any number of things. Apparently the Great Lakes tribes that were responsible for the painting and a lot of the lore around the Mishi Peshu creature completely deny any links to the Hodag. I think they're like, yeah like yeah sure they look kind of similar but it's a mishy-pashy asshole yeah it's very different this is our thing this isn't that log with strings attached to it that you use to scam tourists out of five bucks so i think even they're

kind of like this is our thing this isn't your thing so they're kind of denying that which is unfortunate because that was maybe our most plausible link to something quite authentic if this thing did exist and is a part of wisconsin lore who's to say that gene when making up a creature automatically uh drew from these creatures that have been part of his history and his upbringing and this maybe was part of it this mishy peshu who knows but what we do know is that it's a double no uh kit and i both believe unfortunately this little beast does not exist the ho dag is a no dag but wow what a story thank you so much to peyton vold and alec does for emailing in that suggestion thanks guys i had a blast with that one.

You know, they can't always be the super serious bone dry investigations that, you know, we like to do sometimes. Sometimes you got to mix it up a little bit. Get crazy. Investigate a hoedag. Get some bear wrestlers in there and slam that sucker onto a pile of stones. But next week will be absolutely bone dry. We're going back to dry we're going back to it is going to be sand 45 minutes of sand just investigating it as an entity

wow another week down another great investigation into the freaking bro dag we had a great time i wish he was real so we could hang out, but fortunately he isn't. But we hope you enjoyed the show. You know, usually at the end of the show, this is when we would plug something, you know, the Patreon, Facebook group, iTunes, anything like that. All good options. But you know what?

You're here. You made it this far. You know, you guys are the reason that this show is made. We just want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for tuning in every week spreading the good word telling your friends and just enjoying the podcast we we couldn't be doing it if you weren't here um we love doing it every week that's thanks enough

that's praise enough like we don't even need to tell you about the patreon and the tears where from like you're right we do it pretty much every week so i guess they know by now yeah so but it's two dollars a month and you can also get a bonus episodes why are you doing this why you you just don't even need to talk about it i don't need to talk about it because of the support that they give us yeah which is great and we have a ton of patrons uh beautiful community over there they know where to find it we've talked about it enough times in the past exactly just a thriving community like we have on our facebook group the this paranormal life commune where you can just meet with all your friends and chat it's great okay but it's

thriving but we don't but we don't need we don't need advertising that's what i'm saying we don't need the advertising that's why we don't advertise we never advertise yeah we would never ask our audience to do anything for us. No. Like some podcasts would be like, hey, if you enjoyed it, give us five stars on iTunes. Which sure does help enormously. Yeah. Granted.

So I could see why you would ask for it. But obviously we don't even need to do that because our audience is so hardcore. You know, you see all those people like, oh, like and subscribe. Rate me five stars on the fucking Mac store whatever whatever it is and we don't even need to say that stuff probably not we know that every person listening to this podcast is going to do it anyway exactly we don't even need to bring it up it's irrelevant it's irrelevant so thank you for listening to the podcast thank you for supporting us in all those ways that I just mentioned. And if you do support us on Patreon, not that we're bringing it up.

We'd never bring it up. That's a filthy, dirty, cheap thing to do. And I would never bring up the Patreon. But if you do support us on Patreon. If you do support us on the P word. If you do support us on Atrion Pay, what we like to do is give you a special little shout out at the end of each episode. So thank you to...

Kieran Dixon. Well, if it isn't beer can Kieran. Oh, nice. This guy can put him away. You know wizard status? Oh, yeah. Every tall can you drink, you tape them together till you got a staff. Kieran does wizard status five nights a week.

The plot twist is he's eight foot tall. Oh, so he has to drink quite a lot. A ton. That's probably how he got his other nickname, Smearing Ciaran. Because he's just spewing on the walls, smearing his insides over everything. Oh, I said he could put it away. He can't hold it down. Of course not.

Good luck, Ciaran, with all your future boozing. Thanks also to Xander Bellahem. Xander Bellahem is a badass name. Xander is the name of the freaking knight who rides back into town on horseback with like the head of a dragon slung over their shoulder, you know, and then slaps it down on the table

and says, dinner served, your highness. And then they all have like a big medieval feast that's a badass name and the the highness is pissed off because he's a feeble weak king yeah and xander's always showing him up yeah and everyone's like xander should be the highness xander should be king yeah vote for xander actually everyone in the next medieval election thanks also to jerry collins i don't know how he got my number but jerry's always calling me he's calling me non-stop do you ever pick up yeah i pick up and he's like hey you owe me that money give me back the money that you oh you borrowed

and you know i borrowed money from a lot of jerry's you're gonna have to be more specific than that well you know it's jerry collins it's pretty no i said jerry's collins me i don't know what jerry's second name is but he's always collins oh yeah so i have no idea i think it's this jerry you think it's that one he's giving you the middle finger in his profile picture okay that makes sense i actually stole a couple g's from him so oh it's fine for him to be pissed that makes sense jerry stop calling me out on my own show all right you'll get your goddamn money when i get it it doesn't sound when you get it when i get it back from who the horses they've been cruel to me this year that doesn't sound like you're gonna get it i can feel it i can be right on the i'm right on the tip of the hoof

i'm with jerry what thanks Thanks also to Natalie Findlana. Natalie was a bad kitty. Why? You know when you take a little cat. Also hot. Well, first off, she's a cat. Oh. But she used to be a kitty. A bad kitty.

Bad kitty. So why? You know when you take the cat home and you're like, oh, welcome, this is your house. No, but okay. You know, make yourself at home. Natalie was pretty rude about the whole thing. They like put down a glass of milk and she slapped it off the table. Yeah.

She was like, no, only Hennessy. So they had to like pour the cat like whiskey, expensive whiskey. That's insane. And they were like, all right, well, here's your dinner. Some, I don't know, f***ing slop in a bowl. And she was like, meow, slap that away. Caviar. At this point, she's drunk off her ass on Hennessy.

On Hennessy. Because she's pint size and she drank a pint of whiskey and brandy. She's woofing at this point. Doesn't even know what she is. She was a difficult cat to- Woof, woof, mother f***er. It looks like she's got her act together, got some cash, and sent it our way.

So thanks, Natalie. Thanks also to Ross Milne. Ross, thank you so much for the support. I'm getting a little tired of you calling me up. I don't know how you got my number and asking for me to give back- Let me guess. What? He wants money. Stuff. I took some me to give let me guess what he wants money

stuff i took some of his stuff oh and he wants it back all right the lawnmower the microwave the microwave um uh burgers that he had in his freezer let me guess you don't have the stuff i sold them to spend on the horsies right yeah that's right and the horsies have been let me guess cruel to me this season yeah but i feel like there's a comeback right i feel like i feel like there's a lucky horseshoe on one of those little bastards i'm gonna find it and they're gonna win and then and then i'll i'll give you all your stuff he wants his horseshoes back he wants his lucky horseshoes back ross i lost him all right on the horses but one of them's gonna

come in and i know what you're thinking nay it won't but it will ross and i'll get you two microwaves and two lawnmowers i don't think that's gonna make up for it because it's been what eight years i'll get your wife two wedding rings sorry i stole her wedding ring as well i forgot to mention that to you ross don't be be pissed, because she's pissed. She's calling me up. I don't know how she got my number. Probably through Ross, it seems. Probably through Ross. Yeah, that would make sense. But it's gonna be fine, Ross. I'm gonna get it all back

to you. Don't worry about it. It's coming. Thanks also to Elizabeth Petroff. Remember Natalie? You think that pet was rough? Where do you hear about Elizabeth? What kind of animal is this? A 10-inch Elizabeth. And they laid down the finest little dead mice.

And she said, no. Slapped it away and said, I want Hennessy. What pet shop is raising animals on cognac? I don't know why they all want this delicious booze. But, you know, cut to five minutes later this lizard is drunk like a blizzard of course it's off its ass it's off its grass it's falling out of the tank and onto the floor this thing's rolling around like a little nightmare it's it's not even eating flies which they bought a thousand of by the way to set free in the house and hopefully

feed the bish but elizabeth is having none of it she doesn't want flies she wants lobster a creature weirdly bigger than her but thank you elizabeth for your support your lizard support thank you to aaron detour wherever this guy is going he has to take a little detour i mean even it becomes to the point where it's like if he's going to the bathroom he's bursting you know he has to take a little detour. I mean, even, it becomes to the point where it's like, if he's going to the bathroom, he's bursting, you know, he needs to go any second. He's like, oh, I gotta go. Guys, I'll be back in one second.

Might just swing by the kitchen, though, real quick. What? And they're like, dude, you have to piss. We can see you're bursting. And if you piss on the carpet one more time through one of your crazy-ass detours, the problem is, we're not saying like he's he doesn't just nip via the fridge to get a snack on the way that he can enjoy in the bathroom right

he goes to like korea he goes to like halfway across the world what you need to do aaron is anytime you need to go to the bathroom say hey i'm gonna go to the kitchen for a snack and then on the way to the kitchen you take a little detour'm going to go to the kitchen for a snack. And then on the way to the kitchen, you take a little detour. That's actually pretty smart. And you have a pee. That one's free, Aaron. The next one's going to cost you. Actually, it won't because you're already paying for stuff.

So yeah, that's fine. Thanks also to Sky Dawn. Sky Dawn, great person. Very sunny disposition. Very upbeat. Very kind. It's a beautiful name um their evil twin sky sunset on the other hand uh it's kind of like a pokemon it's like they're

sword and shield two sides of the same coin yeah okay cool uh terrible person bad to everyone around them mean miserable even sky They're even mean to Sky? Oh, yeah. More than anyone else, of course. You really got to be careful when you name your kids. You do. Is what I'm trying to say. That's why my son, Nightmare Jackson, is a little angel.

We weren't taking any chances. Please tell me that's like a fun middle name. Nightmare? No, that's his first name. Oh. His second name? Powers. Is there a middle name?

Yeah, Jackson. To play it safe. Alright, I don't want him misbehaving or anything. I think you threw it with the nightmare bit. Nightmare? You know that's the bad one. Yeah, but I thought at least I'd be sleeping. I'd get some goddamn rest. Turns out, I can't control him. Nightmare Jackson turns out as a pretty, pretty loud kid.

Yeah, I noticed he never learned to walk because he just levitates. He found a way to fly via screams. Yeah. Which, uh, keeps his old man up at night. Ironically, my ever-living moment is a nightmare with little Jackson around. That's not ironic because you called him nightmare. Sure. It's obvious. Joke's on dad, I guess, on that one.

Thanks also to Joshua Scoggin. Usually people would let their pets out. But with Joshua, they got to keep that dog in. That's right, because he's drunk on Hennessy. No. He's full from caviar. God damn it. Joshua's meowing all over the house.

He doesn't know what way's up. He didn't chase his own tail. He caught his own tail. We gotta find this animal shelter and shut it down. We do. I mean, Joshua, Elizabeth, Natalie. These are monsters. They're not pets.

Oh, Joshua's messaging me. These animals were actually found in an abandoned Hennessy factory. Oh, they've become somewhat dependent on the drink. They can't go cold turkey. It turns out when Joshua and Co. met the pets, first of all, they were very sedated by all the Hennessy. Right. met the pets first of all they were very sedated by all the hennessy right so they seem chill and cute but actually sans hennessy they get a bit rowdy thanks also to david foster david i hope you don't foster any resentment towards me after i stole your car and your wife's car and your son's bike to obviously pawn for money for the horses he probably does foster

ill will because that's insane that's illegal on every account you should be in jail sir there was every chance that i was gonna win big that i was gonna win big there was almost zero chance well it wasn't of course there was zero chance because guess what this season the horses have been cruel to me and i don't deserve that last season all Last season? All seasons. I haven't won yet. I haven't won yet. And the odds are stacking up so against me that the next one, honestly, it has to be a winner. What was the name of the horse you bet on? Slugs.

Slugs? Yeah. I put it all. I put everything. All my money. All the property on slugs. Horses are called like a sea biscuit or maybe like a funny pun or some kind of i put money on slow biscuit i put money on slow biscuit why would you put money on a slow horse

good question good question kit why would i bet on a horse that's a thousand to one with those odds one win all i need is sluggy to cross that finish line as numero uno and i'm set for life so why did you steal everyone's wedding rings and cars you stole the fortune you stole the money you had the money you could have had the money honestly i think next season's gonna be better man i've got my eye on this one horse, Edward Sloden. I think he's the one. I think he's going to take me to the gold. I can't talk about this anymore.

Thanks also to Allison Cow. Allison, you're my palison. I really think, you know, we're beyond pals. We're family, you know? And what do family do when a family member's going through a rough time? Down in the dumps. Down in his luck. They spot him a couple hundo.

Hundred? What for? Rent? Food? Bills? Sure. If you can make it out to Slugsy, make the check out to Slugsy,

that would really help me, Allison. That wouldn't help you. That would help Slugsy. Tell you what, Slugsy... Yeah? ...is about to f***ing retire to a glue factory because he hasn't won in five years. That's what makes the odds so sweet. And as soon as Slugsy wins, Allison's getting her 2%.

And we're both- 2%? That's a lot of money on Slugsy. And we're both going to retire to the Bahamas. Slugsy's odds are so bad that winning big would be a borderline trillion dollar industry. I just got a text, actually. Slugsy had a heart attack. He's dead.

The gunshot to start the race actually blew his heart open. He's gone. He was the oldest horse to ever race. Sorry, Allison. We lost. Thank you to Jack Plasto. Well, if it isn't Jack Fasto Plasto, the fastest jockey horse in history. What?

Seriously. Does he need a new horse? I've been trying to get you to bet on Jack for months, but you keep telling me that, oh, this race is his last he's gonna he's gonna drop out next time the starting gun goes off that horse's heart's gonna go but that keeps happening to your horses it does yeah every horse i pick is pretty it's pretty much a death sentence when i pick a horse uh they don't have much left life left in But sure, Jack might be the fastest jockey that there is, but he doesn't have a horse with heart. Yeah,

it has a heart, unlike Slugsy. Don't you bring Slugsy into this! Slugsy had a good run. Well, it wasn't a run. It was more of a trot. He's not much of a runner. You know they fed Slugsy Slugs? That's how he got the name? Those

bastards! He wasn't on a champion diet. Oh, rest in peace, Slugsy slugs that's how he got the name those bastards he wasn't on a champion diet oh rest in peace slugsy you beautiful bastard lastly but not leastly thank you to heather heather i know that no matter the weather you and i will always be together and also if you could spot me a couple grand, I'd really appreciate it. You have to stop. We said we didn't advertise on the podcast. Sure, and I know that I said last season and this season and every season, the horses have been cruel to me, but I've got a guaranteed

winner for next season. This horse sounds in any way slow. Alright. I swear to f***ing God, I'm gonna flip. Fine. What's his name? His name? Yes Hear me out

You need the full name The full name How long is it? It's Snails Oh my Snails It's Snails McSlow Alright

That's You said I needed to hear the full thing You should have left it at Snails That's at least a little ambiguous Look McSlow I wasn't gonna get involved But now Heather's here Trying to offer me money I'm looking You should have left it at snails. That's at least a little ambiguous. Look, Mick's slow. I wasn't going to get involved,

but now Heather's here trying to offer me money. No, she's not. I'm looking at a thousand to one odds on this beast because it hasn't won a race in its lifetime. It's about to retire. Am I right in saying? Sure. This is its last year, so it's the last chance to bet on snails.

But I think it's really got what it takes to be number one. And I think Heather would appreciate her 2%. I don't it's got what it takes to be number one and i think heather would appreciate her two percent i don't think the horses are ever gonna be kind we're gonna find out this season heather it's gonna be a big win for both of us thank you heather and thank you everyone who has helped us and supported us on patreon i hope you enjoyed this week's episode with the bro dag we had a fantastic time hopefully you did too and we will see you next week for another episode of this paranormal life