This Paranormal Life - #147 The Zone of Silence: Mexico’s Bermuda Triangle

Episode Date: January 14, 2020

In Durango, Mexico there exists a paranormal realm that doesn’t obey the laws of physics. Step into this area and you may experience genetic mutation, communication with paranormal entities, or come into contact with a meteor older than our entire solar system. Join Kit and Rory as they investigate the diary of a madman who once worked there, in the Zone of Silence.Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if the Bermuda Triangle is missing a point and it's actually the Bermuda Rectangle? How do magnets work? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life. Yo! Hey! Welcome back to This Paranormal Life, the comedy paranormal podcast where every week we dissect a different paranormal case, tale, or beast and get to the bottom of whether it's truly paranormal or not. You are joined by the two most illustrious paranormal investigators in this galaxy. My name is Kit Greer Mulvena.

This guy across from me is Roy Powers. That's right, guys. Welcome to 2020. I'm excited to be here. I'm excited to be bringing you a whole ton of new investigations with my best pal, Kate Greer. As with every week, folks, we don't have any time to mess around. We're going to dive right into today's investigation. Today, we are traveling, Rory, to the Bolson de Mapimi in Durango, Mexico. This is a mostly flat desert landscape surrounded in the distance by hills and mountains. But it's also a biological reserve and research area, complete with a research center, which

is where one Hector Alvarez worked. And in 2013, Hector's personal handwritten journal notes started turning up on paranormal and conspiracy message boards. At first, he was just documenting the day-to-day of his graveyard shifts. Walking around the facility, you know, on a kind of night at the museum style. Right, yeah. He claimed that on these late night shifts, weird stuff would happen. This is what we like to hear, guys. Because did you say this was a laboratory in the mountains?

Yes, research center in the desert. In the desert? Yeah. Look, there's only a couple people who would put a research center in the desert, all right? And that's the government doing shady stuff. That's right. Possibly a Bond villain or maybe some very smart snakes. I mean, some sort of university for reptiles yeah yeah so at least

you know if someone's leaking handwritten notes from this desert lab it's gonna be some some confidential stuff it's gonna be salacious i think the other people who might have a research center underneath the desert might be i'm pretty sure it's a plot of a resident evil movie yeah uh potentially you'd be kind of pissed if you found all these secret documents and you're like, oh my god, what it... It was a snake. It was just snakes. A lot of this is just about eating eggs.

These aren't even pages for my journal. This is just snake skin. Old snake skin. Hector felt that whilst weird stuff was happening time and again at the facility, the upper management just weren't really listening or cared you know all those uh fat cats at the research center work the cushy nine to five they don't know what shit goes down at the twilight hour all those fat cats work in the snakes till their back breaks and it's tough because they're basically just one long back those poor guys it's hard to

get health insurance whenever you're a slithering back so for hector's own sanity he wanted to start keeping a record because he's he's mentally noting this stuff telling it to the higher ups and they're just swatting it away so he's like look i'm gonna start documenting this i'll tell goddamn whoever needs to know smart now this stuff in the journal uh was largely pretty small ironic because it's a biological center they do a lot of weather research and they have some weather measuring equipment so he was noticing that on days that were plainly fine it's the desert let's be real the weather doesn't change very much it's hot and sandy 365 days a year yeah i might as well just keep a little timer on that it's like wake me up if it snows otherwise i don't need to know but whenever he would go to check the readings

some of the equipment was saying that the weather was like extreme that there was gale force winds that there was rain that there was stuff that plainly was not happening or on one night for example while hector was walking through an empty office all at once a bunch of computers turned on of their own accord and started playing white noise out of nowhere that's pretty terrifying terrifying. This is weird. He claimed that it kept playing even after he pulled the speaker plugs out of the walls. What? Like that's some horror movie

stuff. I would not be going back to work the next day after that happens. Yeah, that's terrifying. The next day, Hector tells the IT guy, he goes down and checks it out. He opens up a couple of the computers and he says, it looks like the computer's motherboard has melted under extreme heat. And then things got

really weird. Hector wrote about seeing glowing triangles floating outside at night. And with it, there would always be, quote, an odd sound and the rushing of air but after watching these things for a couple of minutes not believe in his eyes they would disappear again instantly this is crazy you know usually when we're investigating a story within the first five minutes we can kind of get an idea of what we're dealing with here right you know you see a specter floating down the stairs that's a ghost you see a man with an axe who's half goat a half human that's a cryptid or a man who f***ed a goat still pretty weird and pretty paranormal we understand these things you're telling me computers are melting there's blizzards in the desert triangles yeah the most paranormal shape of all time that's what the pyramids are it's true all

the most paranormal shit including the paranormal pyramid of truth uh mentioned on podcast before i don't remember if i said it was a pyramid but it's a paranormal shape yeah absolutely yeah everything that hector is mentioning there's something creepy about it because it's all so subjective and like i joke about it being night in the museum but this is all just happening to hector no one else is around and indeed no one believes him it's kind of creepy to think that the noise starts playing out of nowhere or you see like a glowing shape outside this is all stuff that could make you feel like you're going crazy you don't know whether it's real or not this is toy story but instead of buzz and woody

you've got rogue computers and electric triangles flying through the desert and then after almost exactly three months of diary uploads hector's diary stops and when someone contacted mapimi preserve they said hector just left one day and didn't come back. He just didn't turn up for work the next day. The only problem is, his car was still in the car park. Where is Hector today? To understand what is going on here, we need to go further back in time. We're on the same location where on one night in 1970,

shepherds in nearby hills looked up into the night sky and saw something bright tear along the sky falling downwards if you're a shepherd and you see something bright in the sky you're like rubbing your hands together you're like this is it boys talking to your sheep jesus v2 we've done it We were the chosen ones. They're going to write songs about us and stuff. What's frankincense? Do we have any of that? I was right for packing my lucky little piece of mirror. I don't even know what mirror is,

but I have a piece of it in my back pocket. He checks his back pocket. I changed my goddamn trousers before I left the house. I can't believe this. I can't believe my luck. The goddamn Messiah is going to be back and I don't have a gift? Can we all just, like, go in on the frankincense, say it's like a group thing? No, dude.

Only one gift per shepherd. Oh, Christ. They finally meet him. We bring gifts. Gold, frankincense, and 12 chicken McNuggets. gifts gold frankincense and 12 chicken mcnuggets i'm starting to think one of these is a a truck stop gift no no one of them's an air freshener one rancher heard his cattle moving and moving agitated by something and when he ran over to their enclosure they too were looking up at this strange light and it sent

them into a blind panic. They bashed into each other and then into the gate breaking it open. Once free they started running into the valley. The next day in the nearby town the few people who had seen the light talked about what it could have been. Ah probably a meteor or maybe just a shooting star. Except a couple of the shepherds weren't convinced. Listen, bro, my cars, they're hard as nails. You think they've never seen a shooting star? These cars live in a beautiful starlit desert valley.

Yeah, that's their Netflix shooting stars. That's all they see, if anything. That's their relaxing Netflix log burning fire. Helps them get to sleep. There's no way they'd get spooked by shooting Star. It's ridiculous. And they were pretty much right, because it became immediately apparent that something else was up.

Within days, US government vehicles started rolling into town. Whoa. Which is, by the way, in the middle of nowhere. These guys have no business here. Suddenly, Air Force helicopters and planes are flying overhead as if they're looking for something. And after three weeks of searching, they seemed to find what they were looking for. They set up a perimeter on one exact spot and built provisions all around it. They even built an airstrip in this patch of desert and there was

a railway line like somewhat nearby and they built a new extension onto the railway line that led up just to this exact spot that's crazy they were uh where they built the airstrip and everything around it that's crazy now rory as a veteran paranormal investigator which by the way uh surprisingly doesn't entitle you to any kind of veterans discount no i try i've tried everywhere as well oh that's interesting uh what division were you in a podcaster get out get out immediately yeah telling people that you're a veteran of the paranormal wars will actually not only not get you a discount but actually get you ejected from a lot of venues yeah some other veterans usually start crowding around you at that point uh put you in a headlock

start nougating you a lot of the real veterans actually beat the shit out of me once at wimbledon when i tried to hop over the counter and grab a chili dog that's probably because you're trying to get a chili dog at wimbledon. Normally, it's strawberries and cream. They didn't have any chili dogs. Of course. I brought the dogs from home. I brought the dogs from home. I brought the chili from work. I thought I'd make it on the counter.

Why did you need to hop the counter? You could have at least stood on the wrong side of the counter and made the chili dog. I didn't want them to think I wanted to make a purchase. I didn't want the strawberries. I didn't want the cream. So you wanted them to think you worked there? I wanted a mother f***ing chili dog and to watch Andy Murray serving up balls. At what point did you tell him you were a veteran, by the way?

What does that have to do with anything? I actually announced it via megaphone as I tried to make it onto the field, chili dog in hand. You were wearing all white for some reason as if you were playing the game. Chili all down your goddamn shirt. Waving the white flag of war of surrender you mean not the way i was throwing punches he stabbed a guy with a surrender flag what i'm saying is even in 2020 the current year a lot of people look down at members of the the paranormal profession it's disgusting we have to fight that every day yeah so what i mean to ask rory is that

as a paranormal investigator we've now got a few clues about what uncle sam is looking for what's your first instinct look any we have a lot of cases where the government rolls up to investigate a site one of the ways that you can tell how important this is is first off if project blue books stick their beaks in it which seems to be every other case we investigate sure even when it's not about ufos if it's just like a weird looking bird they'll show up and kill it like a twice the size dorito yeah they're there will be there um but here we have them essentially setting a base you're talking about building a train station essentially in the desert so that they can examine something something that that is on this location and it seems like maybe

for some reason they can't remove it right because a lot of times they roll into town they gank a bunch of stuff and they roll out they take it back to uh area 51 they take it back to the pentagon that's a great point it's rare to see them like struggle with something yeah yeah this is a really interesting case i'm very excited to see where this one goes the truth surprised everyone it wasn't a meteor from another planet or indeed a ufo that the army were investigating. It was a missile, allegedly a US test missile. We know this because at the time, once they set up this perimeter, they actually hired a local security force to guard the site.

So we know firsthand what was in there because they're goddamn Lodmouths. Okay. I like the idea of the US military making all these locals sign NDAs and then at the end of the night military making all these locals sign NDAs. And then at the end of the night, they all go to the same bar to drink tequila with their like childhood friends. And they're like, oh yeah, they found a missile in the desert. Just leaking it all. Leaking it all.

But once they had dug out this missile and actually interestingly dug up a bunch of the earth around it, they loaded it all onto trains and took it away on that new railway line. For many, they assumed that this was how the story of this valley ended. But in truth, it was only beginning. The locals began wondering, why did this missile crash there in the first place? The desert valley obviously wasn't the intended target, given that the military didn't even know where the missile was for three weeks. But while some of the locals worked in the area during the military operation, they noticed some weird stuff. Their compasses wouldn't work in the area. It would just spin around

like crazy, or just point in clearly the wrong direction. Not only that, but it was impossible to communicate by radio or walkie-talkie. No matter how close or far away you were, the signal was scrambled into white noise. More and more people started to talk about the mysterious effects of this area, and the local press even started writing about it. They called it the Zona del Silencio, or the Zone of Silence, after its effect of silencing all communication or electromagnetic waves. Is this after the object was removed from the desert, or while the object was in the desert?

I think it was while, and then afterwards as well. Afterwards as well? Oh my god, okay, that's way weirder. And the believers in its effects were known as Zoneros. And the more mysterious effects they looked for, the more they found. It started coming together like a little puzzle. Even the local plants and wildlife were somehow different inside the Zone of Silence. The plants and animals were bigger, stronger, more, quote, robust than outside the Zone. Allegedly, there were sightings of coy than outside the zone. Allegedly,

there were sightings of coyotes twice the normal size. Whoa! The desert tortoises in the area were growing, apparently, strange triangle shapes on their shells. Even according to some researchers, there was a scientific study which I couldn't find,

isn't available online or anywhere, apparently basically no one has ever seen, but that found the local people and animals had a slightly different blood type inside the zone of silence. You really need some evidence to back a claim like that up. Different blood type is real. It's a big claim. Pretty easily testable as well you would think like i can imagine sure a turtle with biceps in a six-pack with a shell shaped like a toblorone but i don't as soon as you start saying humans have different blood types in the zone of silence i you know i'm gonna need some receipts yeah i'm gonna need some some lab uh some lab

papers have you ever seen the netflix movie annihilation i have yeah this was reminding me a lot about annihilation yeah we might have talked about it before on the podcast that's a fantastic movie it's a goddamn treat uh it's fantastic it's like unbelievably high concept but like very believable as well yeah um this is a little bit like that where the paranormal effects of a place of a geographical location actually mutate the dna of plants and animals inside it over time you know i'm if this place does exist and still mutates people and especially makes them even more jacked i'm not opposed to a little excursion i just want to know what the risk is of me getting a Dorito head versus me getting a six pack. Right.

Because if it's like 10% chance a Dorito head, 90% chance it's six pack. I'll take those odds. You'll take it? Okay. It's like a classic monkey paw problem. You wish for a goddamn eight pack and uh oh they're all shaped like cornettos all all eight of them sticking out of you like spikes but what about the missile how did the zone of silence pull it out of the sky in the first place that's maybe even harder to explain

we know that the zone scrambles electronic communications, but could it do that? Well, they did get one other clue from 1969 when the Allende meteorite crash landed in the exact same area, give or take 100 miles. And also, that meteorite is pretty famous. I do recommend looking it up. I think I read somewhere that it's the most studied or like researched meteorite of all time um i think because it crashed like right around the space race and like the landing on the moon and everything so we didn't have that much access i guess to samples from space like fresh samples as well and it was all kind of new technology so people were um really excited to investigate it and it turns out it's something

like 18 million years older than our entire solar system whoa so yeah not just earth but the whole thing sun and all jesus which is so hard to wrap your head around yeah oh my god but it's like way older than me yeah well yeah by a bit because i was like because i'm like i'm getting up there you know but even this is like old yeah well it's like a bit of a different scale i mean you could like my lifetime's like 30 is even is even shorter yeah of course it's like space is crazy because this is like i mean to put it in context i think or i think the solar system is probably like 4.5 billion years old yeah so like even my dad even my dad wasn't around or like his dad yeah no definitely not like my great great

granddad i mean it doesn't matter how many like how many it's crazy how far you back even when ancestors because even your dad right wasn't around that seems like a weird slight but uh yeah no that old ass son of a bitch. Okay, that's enough. That crusty old fossil. It doesn't really matter how far back you go. It doesn't matter if it's my dad, my f***ing granddad, my f***ing granddad's dad, great granddad. Humans.

He's old, yeah. Humans won't even alive for 200,000 years. This is 4.6 billion years ago. That's a very different scale. So not even like. Don't say it. Don't even say what you're about to say. Not even like my mom's dad.

You already said granddad that's what that is yeah but like because the families are different who i don't know how no that doesn't make any difference whatsoever your mom's dad is like would be like what like what's a dinosaur years old what's a dinosaur this isn't the time okay we can talk about that later yeah probably that would be good that really helped me help me out when they were around get this far in the podcast and you don't understand how time works uh because i've seen the movie jurassic park but that was pretty recent so i was like if they're still here then they're not they weren't did you see the movie that's the

point they're not yeah i saw it so they brought i saw a t-rex rip a dude in half okay on the screen but you understand that they had to bring them back after 64 million years yeah i saw i they told they teach you how they did it mr dna told me how they did it kid i understand the process of bringing them back but it does seem a little weird that where this missile crashed about a year previous there was uh the allende meteorite crash same location give or take not only that but in the 1930s a man named francisco sarabia was flying his plane over this zone of silence when his radio mysteriously stopped and the plane crashed they figured out that whatever mysterious waves are coming out of the Zone of Silence are creating a vortex that pulls stuff out of the sky.

Wow. This is kind of like the Bermuda Triangle, but on land. You can probably tell where this is going. The Zoneros started seeing stuff in the sky. They started seeing UFOs, the works. During their research, they claimed to, quote, see and hear beings from other worlds.

And this got them thinking, what if these conditions, the communication blackout, the magnetic gravitational vortex, create the perfect conditions for extraterrestrial visitation? Wow. What if this is some kind of intergalactic airport i like it i like the ideas uh so this became a pretty popular hangout uh for ufo enthusiasts hunters of the paranormal there's a lot of different theories going on i have to say like some of this case is a little bit of a mess from that uh viewpoint um like there's a host of people

who think that there is an ancient race of humans living you guessed it underneath the earth baby yeah that's what i like to hear they're called they got a pretty cool name admittedly they're called magneto 10 wow so i don't know if they're real but um listen this pretty much brings us up to the the current day of the Zona Silence. This place, I think, initially became a popular attraction for Mexican tourists, people who live maybe a little bit away and hear about that it's an interesting spot to come visit. Right. But then it kind of quickly blew up throughout the 70s and 80s, especially as, you know, kind of new age thinking and stuff is kicking off. People are more interested in the paranormal. Yeah. And kind of unusual phenomenon. So it, kind of new age thinking and stuff is kicking off. People are more interested in the paranormal and kind of unusual phenomenon.

So it's kind of gone global. But Rory, we got to get to the bottom of whether this really, any of it really happened or not. There's a few explanations on the table. One of the most popular is that you named it. It's so similar to the Bermuda Triangle that I think we've talked about before that it definitely has a lot in common now people have hypothesized that because the zone of silence

intersects about three different mexican states that it has some kind of special geological location i've also seen people saying that it does have some kind of latitudinal relationship to the Bermuda Triangle, maybe the Great Pyramid of Giza, other mysterious sites, other mysterious triangles. Basically, yeah. That maybe this is imbuing it with some kind of power. You know, in kind of paranormal lore, people like to talk about ley lines and the paranormal effects of being on certain geographical locations do you think there's any reality in that quite possibly i mean look anytime you get the u.s government showing up and building bases in a specific location that's always a good start the fact that it looks like they might have been there to recover a missile that makes it a little bit harder to say whether this was just a recovery mission or whether this was a larger operation to examine this mystical triangle of silence.

Yeah. The military involvement is tricky. This could be a red herring because them simply being there seems to make this so much more credible it makes it seem like there's something mysterious and unexplainable about it but at the same time the official military line is we f***ed up the missile went in the wrong place we dig it out because it's unsafe now it's safe again good luck to you um we're gone yeah and usually when it comes to a case like this i'd like to see a little more evidence i'd like to see some pictures i'd like to see some blood samples but you know as we said the the creatures living in this zone are jacked as all hell they're

monsters essentially if you send in the toughest and most badass guys to go in there to even like try and wrangle a squirrel out and bring it back for examination, they're going to get in there. And that little nut grabbing bastard is six feet tall. Yeah. Sunglasses on. And there's a whole army of them. And they're just like, you picked the wrong tree, motherfucker. You're getting ripped apart by squirrels getting beaten down by turtles there's nothing to take back there the smallest creatures are too big

to take back so sure maybe you your body has changed a little bit while you're in the zone but i don't know if when you leave the zone you go back to being normal again i don't know how this affects a human body and i guess we've kind of got two slightly different things going on here this place is known as the zone of silence for its silencing of all communications the radio signals don't go in or out uh the magnetic compass spins around whenever you try to use it in this area but i wonder if this is truly one and the same as the biological effects or if these are two different things it could also be that maybe the zona silence stuff is true maybe you truly can't take a phone call in there but maybe the coyotes aren't

twice the size right and yeah maybe hector alvarez just quit his job because he didn't like his job it definitely does seem possible that the communication effects could be true without it also being paranormal i do like the idea of it being an intergalactic airport where essentially i mean if you imagine that there are ufos circling the globe essentially 24 7 what they don't realize is when they pass over this tiny little spot of uh land you know it's sending up signals that is jamming radar throwing compasses off so as soon as they pass through their cloaking devices are down their windscreen wipers are going like crazy so everyone on the ground is just being like we can see them we can see all these ufos

and then as soon as they're out back invisible gone again you know or it's the other way around i kind of like the idea that the communication blackout means that anything can come and go through this spot in the earth ah and not be detected yeah you you try to go goddamn take a photo of something in there good luck you try and you know record anything it's not gonna happen yeah wow that's that's cool no evidence this would be a great place to set up one of those hipster coffee shops that's like we don't have wi-fi try talking to each other the radio signals are jammed and your compasses do fuck all here why don't you have a conversation like they

did in medieval times also be careful because the coffee's twice as strong and actually might burn your insides a little bit and the barista's blood type is xyx which we don't actually know what it means but it's similar to battery acid don't let them bleed on you so rory at the end of every episode like it or not we gotta come down to whether this case is truly paranormal or not. Based on what we've seen, what are you saying? Yay or nay today? Look, as a guy that's been kicked out of a lot of zones of silence in his life, the library, the quiet coach on the train, Wimbledon. Court?

Court. I have a lot of prejudices against silent zones. Right, you're a pretty loud guy. I'm a loud guy. You know, don't shame me for that. But I didn't bring that prejudice to this case. I wanted to come in with an open mind. I wanted all my radio signals to be jammed.

I want my compass to be swinging north to south. I didn't want to have a clue what was going on. And you achieved that, Kit. because even though we've investigated this case extensively yeah i have almost no idea what this thing is or why it could be doing this of course uh we did we did investigate the bermuda triangle right on a previous episode i think that was one of yours. And I don't remember exactly where we ended up, but I'm pretty sure it was a double no. Right.

And that's kind of the big daddy of the zones of silence. Yeah. It's one of the biggest zones and the most silent zones. But there's a lot of interesting things here. um but there's a lot of interesting things here you know having the military show up having this guy writing writing uh secret documents about the computers making weird noises reports of crazy weather out in the desert people spotting ufos it's one of the things we love where a plot of land itself is paranormal yeah rather than you know something to do with the people that live there or a house that it's built on. It's just paranormal ground. Unfortunately, unless you've got a soil sample,

paranormal ground is pretty hard to examine. It's just dirt. It's just dirt until proven spooky. What are your thoughts? You investigated the case. I love this case. But the trouble with this one is, despite this being supposedly present day, despite this being, on paper, the most provable case ever. On paper, we could just go there today, pull out a compass, pull out a walkie-talkie, test it for ourselves, hang out at nighttime nighttime see if we see some ufos yeah because it's like you

say it's a place it's not linked to it wasn't some if one event back in time it's supposed to be happening all the time and yet i've never seen a goddamn case of less physical evidence right yeah it's insane for all like the different research who've gone to hang out there, there's so much written about this story, but just no pictures, no videos, no interviews. It just seems to be like a lot of a tourist attraction. I mean, and I hate to say it, but even the story of Hector Alvarez, which is so compelling. Like, I've never seen one

of these these letters never seen one of these letters i just see everyone talking about hector alvarez in his journal um i i think it would be probably straightforward to work out whether hector alvarez ever worked at the preserve center i don't think he did right so it worries me that this may be uh more of like a internet creepypasta almost yeah actual paranormal case when you've had more physical evidence in cases where you're investigating ghosts creatures that don't even exist in the physical realm right that's usually a red flag yeah so by the signs of what we're coming down on today folks i think today is gonna be a double no uh damn listen i would love for this one to be proven correct i would love to go to um durango mexico and see this for myself we could do a

little road trip i like the sound of that uh see the zone of silence firsthand and then we could always revisit it thanks so much to robin gardner for sending that one in a couple of people sent that one into us thanks so much for flagging it guys hope you enjoyed the investigation into the zona del silencio if you have any of your own experiences of the zone of silence please send them in to this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com that being said there's a number of ways to get in contact if you're in the zone of silence please drive three to four miles south north east or west of the zone yeah in order to email us otherwise it's a big problem the emails bounce it's a whole thing it's a nightmare frankly yeah

we start getting weird triangle emails showing up in our account yeah we sent a guy out there to check it out and his plane just nosedived into the sand pretty sure he lives there now he's like 12 foot there there are a number of ways to get in contact you can hit us up on twitter that's twitter.com forward slash this power of life facebook.com forward slash this paranormal life check out the secret society yeah that's where other jacked triangles are hanging out talking about things that triangles society yeah that's where other jacked triangles are hanging out talking about things that triangles care about that's the zone of noise people screaming bashing pots and pans together yelling at the stars to come down and fight them yeah if you want a good night's sleep don't log on there within an hour of going to bed and as always if

you want to be in the the the secret circle the where you can learn the secret sauce and get the secret goddamn t-shirt head on over to patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life it's 2020 guys and i know all y'all got some christmas money so what better way to a little threatening i shouldn't be holding the knife while I say it, granted. But what better way to start your year than with a whole backlog of bonus episodes that you will get as soon as you join us at the This Paranormal Patreon.

Listen, it's January. Life sucks. It does. All the joy of winter has been and gone. You took down your tree, you threw it in the goddamn trash. You're carrying a little holiday weight, frankly. Of course. You know, life isn't so sweet. And sometimes just to get through, just to ease yourself into the new year, you just need a couple laughs. Yeah. So check out the bonus feed over on Patreon, where from five bucks a month you get access

to all our bonus episodes. There is a big backlog. Twenty bucks a month gets you this paranormal life. Cults are commune t-shirt. You gotta get it right. I gotta get it right. It's a new year and we gotta make sure that we get the message right. There's been a lot of new listeners since the last time I f***ed that up. So

we'll take it out. We haven't said the... And they won't know any different. That would be that'll be ideal and at the end of every episode we like to take the time to shout out those who've supported us on patreon that's what we're gonna do right now so a special thank you to georgia gibson well if it isn't georgia gibson the georgia gibbon whoa the most violent gibbon to ever be let loose in a zoo i don't know how they got access to patreon or paypal or any of that what is a given a bird a monkey it's a monkey okay i know it was one or the other wait is it it's a cute as hell monkey but not georgia georgia's uh very anti-social it's kind of while the other gibsons are eating bananas having a good time swinging around georgia is just

flicking a butterfly knife they're like we don't know how she caught it but how did why would they allow it in a zoo i think it came from atlanta and then right came from the big city yeah i mean there's a lot of signs that say don't feed the animals. Very little that say don't give the animals butterfly knives. Yeah. Because that should be pretty much before the food one. Because they could eat some f***ing popcorn. It's not going to be the end of the... It's not going to kill all the other Gibbons.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't give a Gibbon a knife. Thanks also to Harley D. Brewbaker. Harley D., the brewer and the baker. That's right. He's a baker who bakes his own beer. Insane.

It's a little wheaty, sure, because it's mostly just bread and beer in a bottle mashed together. Can you drink it? It's not so much a drink as like a... A loaf? A loaf. You can't so much drink it as you can toast it with butter. Okay. But it does get you pissed, and that's what's important.

Ah. Congratulations, Harley, in nailing the alcoholic bread. Special thanks to Ben Hoffman. You know, Hoffman is the kind of name you might give yourself if you were, in reality, a Mothmanothman it's pretty similar but different enough you know it doesn't jump to to to mind straight away that being said if you do look like you have kind of little bulges on your back where there might be wings we might have taped on some wings yeah you've got like a couple extra eyes that most humans don't normally have the hoffman might give it away

you're gonna need more than a name change to fix those problems buddy that's like looking like a little shifty demon and calling yourself spring hill jerry it's too close just call yourself mike thanks so much ben thanks also to becky baker beck Baker, the specky breaker. That's right, the biggest bully on the playground. She was punching people with glasses nonstop, breaking those speckies. How is she not expelled? Honestly, I don't understand it either. But by hanging those nerds upside down, she's collected enough collective money to support us on patreon and hey hey wow we've we've we've accepted more ill-gotten gains than just punching up weak children so i'll take

it becky i bet they were annoying sure why not that'll help me sleep at night thanks also to eleanor eleanor the feloner if ain't illegal, she ain't doing it. You want to go for a walk in the park? Only if you're not allowed to walk in that park. Yeah. You see the don't walk in the grass sign? Stomp, stomp, stomp. Stomp, stomp, stomp. Eleanor doesn't care. You want to go to the movies?

Sure, she'll go to the movies. And stab someone while the movie's playing. Oh, she didn't need to go to the movies to do that. I thought you were going to say, like, talk all through it or, like, sneak some popcorn in. Technically not illegal also. So you got to go straight for the stabbing.

Okay. So Eleanor's a bit of a liability, but she seems to be on our side, so I'm fine. Thanks also to Martin Syndrome Camargo. Tell you what, where Camargo,go we go because this guy is so paid up wherever he goes he's just leaving fat tips he's just dropping coins left right and center yeah he's like flicking through his wallet and he finds like anything under a 50 pound note is annoying to him that's like chump change he's just throwing it away drops

and we're like we need that we need that for the calm he's like a cartoon billionaire as he walks it kind of like leaks behind him like a flow of exactly martin let us be your your entourage yeah we'd like to be your entourage thanks also to wayne shargla laugh and zoe san nicholas well we may be in the month of January, but if it isn't Zoe Old San Nick. I don't know what Wayne's relationship to all this is. Yeah, how did he get

involved? Saint Nick's manager? I guess. Cutting off 10%. That seems kind of mean because Saint Nick is doing it all in the spirit of Christmas. I don't know what 10% of the spirit of Christmas is, Wayne. know what 10% of the spirit of Christmas is, Wayne. Is this 10% of the children's joy? Yeah.

Not really sure. But I hope you guys had a profitable and enjoyable Christmas period. We know we did. But thank you both so much for the support. Thanks also to Sophia Beck. Sophia, not even the zone of silence could stop me from verbalizing how happy I am about you supporting us on Patreon! Yeah, Jesus. I wish you would be signing this slightly loud. I'm psyched, Sophia. I'm psyched about it.

And you can send in the military, you can send in UFOs or some jack turtles to try and shut me down and I ain't gonna shut up. So thank you. Thanks also to Carry Cuddlefish. I too would like to carry a cuddlefish in my hands as it cuddled me. I don't know if I need to be underwater for that

or if he can survive above water. I think you need to be underwater. I have to be underwater? That's a deal breaker. on her that's a deal breaker no that's a deal breaker for me i'd rather have it dying in my arms oh then you get when you don't get a cuttlefish oh thanks also to tristan dorsey you know what i endorse tristan dorsey nice he's a good man he granted has a somewhat controversial past uh some sort of sketchy dealings i don't know why you're in door it's you've only mentioned bad things so far

he's i'll say he's a crook he's absolutely you endorse him he's he's connected with all the wrong people um he's rude belligerent he said he was involved with you nasty you shouldn't endorse overall a crook but god damn it if i don't endorse him to be mayor of new york city thanks also to jess stratton jess stratton the queen of manhattan born and raised then dead then resurrected she's she's a queen of the undead queen that's right she's lived in manhattan for the last 500 years longer than anyone else has sounds like a romero zombie movie the undead queen of manhattan her ancient gothic mansion sure it's now a burger. But she still haunts it like it's her own. Jess,

I'm glad you haven't moved out. Don't let them don't let the gentrification of Manhattan push you to the sides. I don't even know if McDonald's counts or Burger King counts as gentrification. I don't know either. Thanks also to Miss Smilla. Miss Smilla the cuttlefish killer.

Oh no! She adopted a lot of cuttlefish over the christmas you know what they say cuttlefish is for life not for christmas but uh she didn't realize that uh-oh they gotta be in water in water 99.9 percent of the time i mean i would just say 100 if it's that high and that you sure because it is high it's 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 it's 99.99999999999999 percent pretty high yeah yeah but not a hundred uh it's like a lion can't be underwater pretty much at all but he could probably survive for like a minute so and you don't you just want to say don't put the lion underwater and granted she did lift them out of the water for a millisecond and they were all f***ed up. Wow. I don't think those fish wanted to live. What? Thanks also to Jack Whittaker. Again,

Jack Whittaker is a little bit like Jack the Ripper. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta call him for that similar name thing. Granted, Jack, you can't be walking around the streets of London 4am with a blade. It doesn't matter if you change your name. People gonna know at least pick a different like white chapel really

the same the same area so cliche go to manhattan with jess tear up that burger king no one will expect it thanks also to sarah mabry sarah mabry i don't want to scare you, Sarah, but you are the source of my glee. My glee. My glee. My glee is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, it was a little clumsy, but don't take it away from me, and certainly don't take it away from Sarah. You don't sound gleeful. Well, now I'm pissed, frankly, because I'm getting called out about how I pronounce shit.

I'm scared. Sarah's scared. You're scared? Why? I didn't want to scare sarah and now she did a pretty bad job sarah i'm sorry for my uh for my partner rudely interrupting uh your shout out but uh thank you for your support lastly but not leastly thank you so much to mary ellen taylor mary felon tay. That's right.

She can't make an item of clothing without it being illegal. That's hot. What? She will make a jacket that's also a bomb. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's all pretty hardcore stuff. It's kind of, you know, it'll be uh this jacket is beautiful wow it's beautiful jacket oh my goodness it feels so soft what's the video 50 cotton 50 heroin you can't if you cross a border

you will be locked up for life yeah yeah yeah oh i like these these shoes what are they well you know it's uh your basic um leather finishes and about 80% cuttlefish. No. That's right. The endangered cuttlefish. I killed them all. Hey, it's illegal, but it looks good. You're a great tailor.

That's what matters. That's what matters. Hey, thank you so much to everyone we've shouted out on this episode and everyone we are yet to shout out. Thanks for hanging in there and being so patient. We're getting through all our beautiful supporters slowly but surely make sure and tune in next week when we will be back on tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale