This Paranormal Life - #148 The Cursed Stone Heads that Summoned a Wolf

Episode Date: January 21, 2020

When two boys in Hexham discover a pair of creepy stone heads buried in their back garden, they unknowingly unleash the curse of a horrible beast man. How can this curse be stopped? Time for Rory and Kit to investigate...Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityResearch by Amy GrisdaleEdited by Louis BlatherwickIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are clouds just God's vape smoke? Were turkey dinosaurs made from turkey or dinosaurs? All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Welcome everyone to This Paranormal Life, the number one comedy paranormal podcast in this dimension, this part of the globe, hosted by me and this guy over here kit greer how's it doing how you going out there how's a bumpy how's it doing out there um if you haven't listened to the show before my name is rory this guy's name is kit every week on the show we investigate a brand new paranormal case and come to a conclusion as to whether or

not it is true or whether or not it is false that's right a lot of podcasts you know at the start will talk about um how their week's been they'll talk about how things just general chit chat we're very much against that we we like to get straight into the action here oh yeah every single week if i was going to talk about my day for 45 goddamn minutes at the start of the show i'd call it this bullshit life but it's not all right this show is paranormal and that's you told me you had a good day i had sure today was pretty great actually it was fine i like i had a really good sleep i felt refreshed i went to the gym i won that money that i told you

about but it's all still bullshit bullshit when you're talking about things outside of the world of the paranormal. Yeah, fair. I shouldn't have said one because technically it was my uncle that died and it was in the inheritance. That's not winning at all. It wasn't.

It was a big loss for me and the family and the church choir that he was a part of because he was the only falsetto that they had available. But this show is about the paranormal, not about my dead uncle. So let's dive right into today's show. We got an email from a guy named David McCartney. And he said, Hey fellas, just thought I'd write in with a quick suggestion.

Have you ever heard of the Hexum heads? In this email, he attached a very strange picture of something that I had never seen before. An illustration of tiny little human heads. Wow. No, never seen that. Never seen it before. David, you had my interest and you'd be excited to know that today we're going to investigate your case. Our story today takes place in 1971, when two young boys named Colin and Leslie Robson were digging in the backyard of their council estate when they hit something hard in the soil. It looked like a small round rock, but when the boys pulled it out and turned it around,

they discovered that carved in the rock was a small strange human face jesus well the boys kept digging and it wasn't long until they discovered a second stone head surely not kit let's look at some evidence right off the bat wow i have a picture a photograph of the two heads that were discovered by the boys i would love to see that wow what we got here is uh yeah definitely a photo from the 70s all right things black and white but we got two hands outstretched and in both just almost the exact size of their palms two rocks that look ancient as all hell uh one on the left is kind of like a lighter color definitely looks like the kind of thing you'd see in the british museum of like a thought thousands of year old

sure human face um and the one on the right looks a little creepier but um this is creepy they kind of look like this the potato smiley faces that used to eat as a child well sure the one on the left absolutely it looks it's a borderline well sure the one on the left absolutely it looks delicious the one on the right yeah whenever i would cook them as a child and burn the shit out of them a little crispy yeah yeah now the boys didn't think much of their discovery all right they're 11 years old life's a joke to them they don't have to worry about taxes curses ex-wives cryptids all the problems that the modern day man has to deal with. They're just thinking about what window are they going to smash first with this tiny missile.

So the kids took the stone heads back into the house, but little did they know that wasn't the only thing that they brought back into the house. In the following days, the Robson family experienced a number of strange events. The heads would be left alone on a countertop, and in the morning when the Robsons woke up, they'd be facing a different direction, as if they'd moved by themselves. Late at night, they'd hear crashing noises and wait to find objects had been thrown across the room. These heads were trouble, and it wasn't just the Robsons that were suffering. What?

Several nights after the discovery of the heads, their neighbor, Ellen Dodd, and her daughter were up late one night, enjoying each other's company, when they heard what sounded like someone coming up the stairs. Hello? Ellen cried, confused as no one else should have been in the house. Hello? Ellen cried, confused as no one else should have been in the house. As the footsteps got louder, Ellen noticed that it sounded like claws on a wooden floor.

What? It was dark in the hallway, but she heard the stomping of heavy claws coming down the hall, getting louder and louder until it stopped right by the doorway. Ellen and her daughter both screamed as they saw in the shadows a half-man, half-beast lurking in the doorway. What? It seemed unfazed by their screams and walked back down the stairs and out the door. Holy shit.

When Ellen finally got the courage to leave the room and check downstairs she said there was no sign of it anywhere but the front door had been left wide open wow things are heating up fast in today's case guys you you all thought they were going to take the heads in the heads would do some twisty turnies at night maybe one of the the heads would fall off the countertop maybe one of the boys would get a weird cough no day three night beasts breaking into your house eating your goddamn cheerios shitting on your pillow they're in your house and and it's it could be because of the heads we don't know we can't state definitively that it's because of

the heads but the night beast sightings up to that point in human history were almost zero zero so prior to the heads zero after the heads had entered the house one one so there's there is a correlation i will say interesting about the night beast we got we got a couple little behavioral things there. So he walked backwards down the stairs. Yeah. He's definitely part man because I don't think beasts, certainly dogs can't walk backwards down stairs. Have you ever seen a dog walking down stairs?

No, I haven't seen a dog walking down stairs. They're not good at it. Not least backwards. He's described as being half man, half beast. I'm presuming it is beast top man bot no wait wait what the f**k is he wait is he does he have naked human legs or werewolf legs i guess if he's got goddamn claws he's probably beast bottom man top i could go either way he could be a two-faced scenario where where it's like, like the left-hand side is man, the right-hand side is beast.

He's got beast knees, human shins, beast toes, very human elbows, borderline paranormally human elbows, beast chin, human cheekbones. Yeah, they don't go into details i do hear about uh there is talk about you know furry sounding paws on the floors that sort of thing so i'm assuming if anything he's a beast bottom man top this is interesting though that it apparently this was you said this was a neighbor yes this is the neighbor so this isn't even the house that had the rocks in it the beast skipped the house he got the wrong place he's showing up looking for the these little rocks this could be another sign this is not a fully human terror night terror because a human would get the address

right whereas a beast it might be a couple numbers off on the street it's true well both the families had had enough at this point it's one thing for the heads to rotate in the night like they're being microwaved but inviting beast men into the house is a step too far no you gotta run that bios the family decided to give the heads to dr ann ross who was an expert in celtic artifacts and had several other stone heads in her collection already oh so stone heads are a pre-existing artifact yeah this is a thing i don't know if it's directly uh linked to just celtic uh history but um dr ross yeah and she seems like a specialist if you're gonna give the heads to

someone she's already got a couple you find a pokemon card you're gonna give it to the one the guy who has a couple Charizards already. You know it's going to be safe with him. Of course, he's got the plastic wallet to keep them in. Yeah, and like the deck holder, those cardboard deck holders. Yeah. They're really cool. You're not going to give it to your mom who's going to use it as like a coaster.

Exactly, or a bookmark. What are you thinking, mom? I will never forgive her. The family hoped that by giving them to an expert she could possibly uncover the story of their origin and in turn discover why these strange events were taking place always good to get a get a woman or man of science involved in a paranormal case but dr ross was unaware that she was about to have her shit rocked what according to her own account she awoke one morning to see a dark figure part animal part man all beast walking out of her bedroom she leapt out of bed and chased

the figure downstairs whoa where she saw it heading in the direction of the kitchen but quickly lost track of it now she knew about what had happened to Ellen Ross, the first person to see a beast man soon after the stone heads had entered her life. So this encounter didn't seem like a coincidence. That makes sense because she didn't seem very surprised. In fact, she came out swinging. As soon as she woke up,

it seems like she just went for the nearest weapon and chased the thing outside in her in her testimony about the event uh she did actually say that she was like i don't know what happened it was very uncharacteristic of me but i just felt compelled to chase this thing down the stairs that's pretty baller though yeah i mean you'd be a little bit disheartened if you were the original owners of the rocks and you're like, we got to pass this thing off to a person of science. And you check up a couple days later and it's like, hey, did you find out anything about the origin of the rocks? And the doctor's like, oh, I don't know.

Why don't you ask the 11 foot night beast that just ran into my kitchen? I was like, all right, I'm going to hang up. Like I was hoping you could maybe tell me the the period it was from or maybe the part of the world maybe it originated the period it was from was about 25 minutes ago the area under my damn bed despite this encounter dr ross kept the heads for further examination still hoping to uncover their origin. But that was until a few days later, when Dr. Ross and her husband came home to discover their daughter crying in the corner of the house. When they asked her what was wrong, she said that she unlocked the front door and

entered the house that afternoon to witness a large black shape rushing down the stairs towards her stopping halfway the creature vaulted the banister and scuttled down the hallway into the darkness i mean vaulting the banister that was some like parkour shit you do when you were eight yeah it's kind of fun when you're that age it's not that cool he's gone from i think trying to like intimidate people to just show off how badass he is and flexible. But this is interesting because now we got a third witness, basically, to the same thing. Yeah, because we had the original person and their daughter. No, actually, this is four people.

Oh, yeah. Because the first time it showed up was a wife and daughter. Yeah. And then second time was a wife. And then third time was a daughter. This thing loves wives and daughters. If there's something we've established on this paranormal life previously, it's that children would never lie about a paranormal sighting.

It's true. Time and time again, we have situations in which adults are oblivious to paranormal happenings. But thankfully, honest children have blown the cover on a bunch of amazing paranormal stories. Sure, some of them we've gone on to say are absolutely untrue. Yeah. Sure, we had to file a couple lawsuits against some of those kids yeah for inflammatory statements but you know they have to learn somehow that they shouldn't lie and if it's through a out-of-court settlement of fifty thousand dollars so be it of course legally you cannot raise those kind of uh that kind of litigation in the united kingdom but that's why

we've set up legal office and it's close to where where the commune is based, rumored to be near Barcelona. But I can't give away specifics. You've said too much already. It is also legal to sue children. That's why I've called all of my three boys George Washington Jr. Because they'll never tell a lie, especially not to their old man. How do you differentiate between the three if they're all called Georgeorge washington jr george adam washington jr is the number one is he the best he's one of the best second to george adam washington jr the second i'm pretty sure that's

what you said the second i said he's called the second then i I've got George Adam Washington, the third. And you said- And my daughter. Georgina Adam Washington, the first. Because there's no other Georgina. There's no other Georginas. You did say this George Adam Washington, the first, came only second to George Adam Washington, the second. So is he the best of the three? He was the best, but actually, to be honest with you,

he's a little liar. He will not what they won't so it didn't work it's like a monkey paw wish i i wished for kids to be like george washington and they just got the names these little bastards lie through their teeth the whole time they're compelled to do it they're on some oceans 11 shit they are always always they need me to have 11 of them so they can pull off some sort of bank robbery. But I'm only on number five. You only listed four.

The fifth, Jorge Adam Washington I. Okay. He's the first because there's no other Jorge. Why is he? Is he Spanish? We actually had to call him Jorge because he used to lie all the time and tell people he was from Spain. Yeah, he's probably the biggest liar of all of them. They're a bunch of little rascals.

Rather than getting him to stop lying, you changed his name legally? It was easier. It was easier that way. There are a lot to handle. There are a lot to handle. Believing that the presence of the Stoneheads to be responsible for these events, Dr. Ross passed her whole collection of stone heads along with the hex and pear to other collectors she got rid of everything she got rid of everything wow

she cleaned house that's how bad this this haunting was she thought it was going to infect the other heads it's kind of like when my children george adam washington's george one through five went to uh the local primary school and the the the teachers there said it is easier to evict them and kick them out before they infect the other students with their lives you're like i'm sorry what's the problem i thought they were acing every class you think dr ross had it bad how about living with five little night beasts all five foot high lying non-stop to their old man five foot high is pretty tall what age are they now that i think about it they might be lying about their height because they're pretty small i took them on their word i should have let them ride that roller coaster man i think they're lying to me

and at this point even more specialists became part of the story in 1977 the heads passed into the care of don robbins a controversial chemist who dabbled in a range of earth mysteries related to things like the magnetic properties of stones. Now, he became convinced that the Hexum heads could prove his stone tape theory. Stone tape? Stone tape theory. This is actually really interesting. I looked into this for quite a while. This theorized that stone could record events and human emotions

and play them back almost like a cassette tape. Whoa. Yeah. Which I think is a pretty cool idea. It's a very cool idea. You also don't want to get it confused with something I've talked in the podcast before about, which is stoned ape theory. Right.

Which is, I think, the theory that weed caused humans to evolve or something. Yeah, yeah. Which, again, that's another very interesting theory. Stoned ape theory. Equally wild. Equally wild. Equally as cool as the stone tape theory. So how do the stones play back these emotions or events?

I guess this idea is kind of the basis for every paranormal object on earth. You know, you think about a haunted house. Some people would theorize that it's the spirit being linked to a location. But these people would theorize that it's actually whatever traumatic event happened in the past. It seeped into the rocks. It seeped into the physical materials in the world. And those moments and human emotions play back through time like almost like a looping cassette and people can experience them which i think is actually a

very interesting idea it's fascinating stoned ape however theorizes that a bud came to earth like a meteorite and fell into the jungle where obviously the monkeys smoked it they chilled out for long enough that they stopped fighting each other and made an iphone got out of the jungle once and for all monkey steve jobs emerged from the woods bud in hand on an early stone age prototype of the ipod and the other. Don Robbins kept the heads for some analysis until early 1978. But despite being sometime later, he too experienced the curse of the heads. I mean, he had a good amount of time to. Well, first off, his dog got excited and bit one of the heads. So even if it was going to be a clean slate, he didn't start off on the right foot. That might be how the beast started.

I'm just thinking. A dog bit the head? It's like, you know, radioactive spider biting Peter Parker. It's like the dog bites the cursed head. So the head grows a beast body? Yeah. Or the dog turns into a man beast. There's something there.

There's something there. Let's get marvel on the phone robbins reported a number of strange events he said his car died when the heads were near it and he swore that once he saw the head's eyeballs moving as it followed him across the room whoa but despite all this he seemed to be unable to connect the objects with any main poltergeist activity interesting he passed them on to another character a man called frank hyde and this is the weird part no one knows where they went oh the heads disappeared off the map. After they gave them to Frank Hyde? Yeah. Well, he's the person who I could find had them last.

And then the next paragraph is pretty much the heads are gone. No one knows what happened. Maybe they were recalled up to the mothership. Yeah. Maybe he buried them back in the same place they were dug up to hopefully end the cycle of Night Beast. I have no idea. But they disappeared off the face of the earth.

Was Frank Hyde a MIB who was, you know, doing a little cleanup operation? He's just a stone head with sunglasses on. Hey, I could take those off your hands for you. Just place them right here by me. What are your thoughts so far, Kit, on the story of these strange paranormal stone heads? It's pretty weird. I like it. It's creepy.

It's like something that would be in Indiana Jones. Yeah. We don't really... There's been a lot of cursed objects, but not too many ancient cursed objects. That's pretty fascinating and seems like something we should have come across. fascinating and seems like something we should have come across there's there's loads of ideas out there like voodoo where someone can create a doll and instill a curse in it yeah and you know that curse is nice and fresh and it works and and there's lots of paranormal stories about those kind of things but it's kind of cool and spooky the idea that someone maybe even hundreds or

thousands of years ago created a some sort of paranormal item or that's might have come from outer space or who knows where no idea and that turns up periodically throughout history and haunts those who come into contact with it the weirdest thing i find is this link between this half man half beast you know if it was a giant head that was rolling through the hallways at night, there's a bit of link there, but it's really hard to join those two together. Yeah, this is the real meat of the story, as it were, is the night beast.

Because it comes out of left field. What does he have to do with it? Is he the protector of the heads? Are the heads goddamn sacred? Does this beast come and claim the lives of anyone who holds the heads goddamn sacred uh is does this beast come and claim the lives of anyone who holds the heads there is a possible theory about where this beast came from okay there is a wolf known as the hexam wolf this was a giant gray wolf that escaped from a zoo in the winter of 1904 so we're going way back years previous yeah about 70 years previously this thing wreaked havoc on the town it killed livestock it terrified locals it got to

the point where people weren't staying out late sheep were kept inside at night lights on the town remained on this is how bad i mean granted this is the olden days where a single stray wolf could is like uh amber alert yeah you know it's like death con 5 the kids don't go to school because there is a wolf some it's like a fairy tale there's a wolf in the town everyone lock your little piggy doors yeah i mean the police are trying to take the thing out but all their weaponry is made of straw for some reason because it's back in time it's like the goddamn nursery rhyme the wolf just running around blowing down houses because they're uh-oh also made of straw i don't remember how that how that

one worked out i think the idea was the wolf could do whatever it wanted until they figured out how to make a brick house but what was the what were the three houses straw was the first one sure because he blew that down in like a second yeah in a minute he didn't even need to knock he he was like no no no he didn't even try it was almost out of courtesy that he did the little pig little pig let me come in yeah he was like he didn't even you could see the pig through the gaps in the straw. Yeah. It wasn't that hard. No. And then the second one was. Was it just wood? Wood?

Was it just like a timber house? I get. What kind of beast wolf is this that he's blowing down a log cabin? This is what I'm saying. This is. That's insane. At this point, those pigs. The first one deserved to die.

I think the second one pretty much had the right idea, though. Yeah. And then because he should have been safe in the log cabin. really should have been did i don't remember did the wolf blow down the house and then eat the pig or did the pig run into the second house probably in the like disneyfied version they run into the house yeah let's be real in the old school version they definitely charged on that pig piglet's squealing. He's shaking about. He's going at that thing like legs first, so the head is still out.

The wolf's like tearing it to shreds. Some of these pigs don't even have houses. They just live on a farm. Someone's collected them for me. Some of them just sleep on straw. They're not covered by anything. They're too trusting. You can stay in there.

It's fine. Well, eventually, a large meeting of farmers from the area was held, and the local MP offered a five-pound reward for the wolf skin. I could buy a nice little straw mansion. Also, the Hexham Wolf Committee was set up and established to help find... There wasn't a lot going on. There wasn't a lot going on in Hexham at the time. They're establishing wolf hunting committees. So much time and effort put into establishing a committee that could have been

spent hunting the wolf so many pigs have gone in this time it escalated to the point where a hunting party of 150 residents showed up to a local school armed with guns dad squad. After hearing the beast was spotted nearby. This is a dad squad, guys. This is the Hexum dad squad that was established in 1907 to hunt a single wolf. The wolf was never found. They think it got away. Someone found the body of a wolf, but when they examined it, they were like, this is just a regular wolf. This isn't a zoo wolf. Oh. It was like. Oh, isn't a zoo wolf. Oh.

It was like. Oh, it was a wild one. Yeah. For all I have come to understand about this thing, it was enormous. It was like a small horse. It does fit in with a lot of the other cryptid stories we come across, though, where it's like, this can't possibly be it. It's nowhere near as terrifying as the one everyone's seen. Yeah, Dave said it had wings.

This is just a regular wolf. Dave's like, well, I can't be sure, but no, I guess it had wings. I'm pretty sure. Dave has spoken! Why do you guys trust Dave so much? He doesn't seem very sure. He's like, plus, we found that thing eating pigs. Eating the very pigs people said were silence who are you that doubts dave kill him what dave has spoken dave's like now

that i think about it the night beast looked a lot like that guy what dave no get him What? Dave, no! Get him. Take the children too. We can't take any chances. I must retire to my straw palace. I'm not going to lie to you. That's kind of where the story ends. Okay. People obviously drew the links between the Hexum heads and the Hexum wolf.

Because when the Hexum head showed up, the Hexum wolf beast man showed up as well at least started kicking off it makes sense but that being said i mean there is there should be no realistic link between these stone heads and the wolf before they went missing you know it went through the hands of a lot of different scientists and archaeologists and there were a lot of different theories being thrown around but no one could really specifically pinpoint a area or a region or a time that these artifacts came from which was kind of weird because you'd think at least someone would have a bit of an idea uh especially if you're giving them to experts

who have studied celtic archaeology and also already have a bunch of stone heads, you'd think that they would have some sort of idea. But when you start throwing a man-beast in the equation, you've got more priorities. Yeah. You stop trying to date the rocks, and you start focusing on staying alive. It's true.

So this was kind of a tough one to investigate. It was a fun one for sure because i love stones and i love monsters and this is both of my things favorite things coming together uh what are your thoughts kit this is essentially it we got a really fun story about these stone heads we've got a fun story about the wolf but it's the connective tissue here that's missing uh how do these relate to one another? If we had some mechanism by which this could work, it would make a lot more sense.

And then, like you say, this is what's so confusing about the story that we can't even pinpoint this to like some Celtic tribe that wandered England hundreds of years ago and maybe implanted some kind of wolf curse. Right. You know, because these kind of, back in the day,

these were kind of pagan times. There was a lot of animal worship and stuff like that. Yeah. There could be some connection there, but... But these aren't even wolf heads. No. They're just normal little human heads. And without any experts weighing in on this

and telling us where these come from, they're just goddamn rocks with smiley faces on them. Pretty much. I mean, they are creepy as hell. They are creepy. are creepy and you know i understand for these people in this case uh that it was difficult to deal with because you know you get a paranormal book that starts you know spewing out ghosts you burn it you get a paranormal chair you smash it when you have a paranormal rock you can't burn that thing smashing it's already pretty hard you don't want to let anything spooky out of it when it cracks in half it's a difficult thing to

deal with it's probably like jumanji you throw that thing in the ocean and it's gonna wash up on a beach playing jungle drums and curse a little boy and turn him into a monkey i haven't seen jumanji in a long time i think that was the plot you're so right though it's like whoever created that little stone head that's cursed they didn't want it to be easily destroyed it's true they want it to last for a very long time and it did it did we think we don't know when it was made no we also don't know if it's we we don't know whether it's real exactly the boys could have carved it in the back garden and shown it to their mom it's an interesting case i'm a little bit disappointed that in a case where we are investigating paranormal rocks they are missing

at least there's a photo the photo is good yeah there is there's some good photos there's some good sketches done by some people but i mean come on that's the bare minimum is to have the rocks yeah that's like investigating a haunted kindle and then there's no and we can't find the kindle you need the kindle man it's too recent it's too much of an object to lose haunted kindle is such a shit thing to be haunted, isn't it? Like, what would it even do? It would just, like, say creepy shit when you, just when you go to read a book, which is what, like, not very often. Yeah, or, I don't know, maybe, like, it would start putting your name in the book in the place of characters' names.

Yeah. Something like that. Actually, I take it back. It's awesome. That's pretty badass. We should pitch that as a movie. That's really cool. This Paranormal Life presents The Haunted Kindle.

I loaded up the book and I could have sworn that I was on page 205, but it said I was on page 207. I completely lost my place and a large chunk of the story was ruined for me. What was that? The Kindle's now on the floor i was sure that i've been reading harry potter's prisoner of azkaban but whenever i booted up my kindle it was harry potter the half-blood prince but back to the case it's conclusion time oh it's time we've talked enough about this case i think for us to both make our minds up.

Damn right. And I want to tell you right now, David McCartney, we investigated your case. And I think I speak for Kit when I say that this week is a double no. It's a double no. I'm sorry to say it. Two heads, two no's. But hey, that was a great suggestion sent into thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com. Hey Dave, what's your conclusion?

Take David away. No! Dave, so cruel! He does deserve it though for sending in a bogus story. That's true, yeah. You send a spam, you get offed. That's the This Paranormal Life rule starting from now. Thank you so much for emailing in that suggestion. And thank you so much for everyone who tuned in to listen to this week's episode. Guys, if you enjoy the podcast, there's a very easy way to show your appreciation.

First off, what you can do is go onto iTunes and give us a rating on the podcast store. But make sure it's a good one. I just have to say that because sometimes we just say rate the podcast and we don't specify and then people, honestly, if I'm being honest, I didn't know you could do a zero.

I thought you had to give a minimum of one star. No, they found it. They actually hacked the iTunes store. They did. Which is insane. So much effort to be mean.

Yeah. So we actually need people to hack up to give us a couple eights out of five just to even the playing field that would be great it while we're at it just give us a three thousand out of five give us the 100 emoji out of five yes that would be great another way you can show your appreciation is by going to patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life we don't run ads on this podcast we fund it all ourselves we do it all we research all this stuff ourselves you think david mccartney wrote any of

this shit he just went sure sent it away into the cloud where i had to find it. I had to research it. David, I shouldn't have even actually shouted him out. I shouldn't have shouted him out. That was stupid of me to give him any credit for any of this. He found the story. He didn't. Absolutely he found the story. He took a time out of his day.

He had a daydream about it. He had like a fleeting thought. And I inceptioned my way in and i no no he emailed us he and you read the email yeah and i read the email and a lot of this script was from his email right so you admit it he read he wrote a large chunk i adapted it i adapted it i think you should send him a couple bucks i really do do you credit jk rowling for the harry potter movies what do you credit would you get a jk rap what the why of course she wrote every book she did all what are you talking about daniel radcliffe that's who i credit them to he was about 12 the first movie came out how good grumble or young? Rupert Grundle or whatever the f*** his name is.

You don't know anything about the Harry Potter movie. Hermione Watson. All three of those little wizards, they are the ones that made that movie special. They were too young. They didn't write it. Wizard. You are comparing yourself to Rupert Grundle and Hermione whatever the f***. I'm just saying, look, you need to, we should put more credit on ourselves.

We're the ones who created the show. We're the ones, I wrote the f***. I'm just saying, look, you need to, we should put more credit on ourselves. We're the ones who created the show. We're the ones, I wrote the goddamn story. I investigated it. I, it, you know what? This shouldn't even be a plug for the Patreon. This should just be like, send me money in an envelope. Well, it is. You are.

Like it's my birthday. This is your Patreon. But I have to like, I have to like split it with you and right we have like admin costs there is overhead sure the equipment and the studio time and stuff so like that all that adds up and i just want to like forget all that and just give it straight to me i feel like when you say forget all that you just mean like you want me to kind of pay for that stuff if you could that would really help no because i actually i owe david a lot of money because i promised him like a small fee for him to like write up this week's episode so you

commissioned david to write the episode i gave him a little i gave him a little the episode he he he typed it up sure he typed it up for me and he put it in an email but i'm the one that read it out and i'm the one that presented it so i should get the the cash how much is this fee just because you should clear these things with me beforehand hundred dollars that's a lot of money it's for someone who you claim didn't do shit he did a little bit i'll i'll i can i can go that far to say that he did like a little bit of it so why did you give him so much money for a little bit what did you say fifteen? Fifteen hundred dollars. Fifteen hundred dollars. And that was just like the down payment. You know we have to do.

Really. That was the down payment because he's actually research. Like every every podcast I've done so far. You're going to hate me when I say this. Yeah. It was David. It wasn't even me. Yeah.

So we do five episodes a month. Yeah. How much are we in the hole? Oh, well, he's kind of been doing it for free up until this episode where i was like i need a big one here david i need a double yes there's a dry spell of nose it didn't work i was like give me the gold david screw the 1500 three grand on the table if you can guarantee me two yeses delivered in my inbox no way he's getting the three g's because there's no way david you're not getting a penny there's the twist he said he got

a down payment of 1500 you're not getting a penny now you're not getting a penny more david he got he got away pretty good he made a good getaway sure that's most of my bank account i'm not gonna lie i'll be honest the story wasn't that long he didn't put that much work in i had to there's a lot of filler involved the hexum wolf never existed i added that bit on the whole time we're wondering why there's no connection because uh-oh you made it up so david you scammed me enjoy your 1500 bucks as you can tell guys we're in the hole we need your support so i can pay this son of a bitch for next week's episode you're hiring him again i think he might have something up his sleeve and i

want to see so david get in touch guys if you could say uh if you have any money to support us it's on patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life uh you can get shout outs go straight to the middle man patreon.com forward slash david where david will be writing this paranormal life episodes for a mere 1500 a month i really like the idea that this david is the dave from the local town yes rory i guarantee two yeses uh yeah check it out guys you can get shout outs shirts tons of cool rewards and you help support the show and if you do support us on patreon what we like to do is give you a special shout out right here on the podcast special thank you to flynn steven flynn is my next of kin that's right he is my next of kin he's my emergency contact he is everything that he's like a he's like a life

vest uh that i just carry with me at all times interesting um have you been doing some dangerous shit that you need an emergency contact for thousand percent man i'm a i'm a paranormal podcaster every day i live is is a day where i can die yeah because you did blackout yesterday i tried calling the emergency contact it was just under f steven and they didn't pick up. They actually hung up. They actually one dial. Oh, man.

Flynn, you got to pick up, man. I'm telling you. It's a good thing you came to because what would we have done? It's true. Thanks also to Chloe Burton. Chloe Burton, the human curtain. No light gets through Chloe. It's weird.

She's like a black hole. hole yeah she's just like a human shadow she's like the shadow from peter pan or some shit she's all shadow oh my god so that's not just no light gets through her no light started actually reflects off right because no light gets through pretty much any human that's not paranormal that's just kind of how humans work but you're saying she's a shadow monster now yeah that's a lot weirder well the human curtain because that rhymes better than shadow monsters of course yeah wow thanks also to rob evans i'm robin evans about five bucks a month rude but in return i'm giving him a little something something i'm giving him a little

bonus content i'm giving him a shout out you know it'm giving him a little bonus content. I'm giving him a shout out, you know? It's like a serial killer leaving a rose on the scene of the crime. Sure, he killed someone, but it's a nice gesture. It's still a nice rose. Exactly. Thanks also to Jody Reese. They call her Explodey Jody, because her weird little hobby is to go into libraries at the weekend and just scream.

Oh, so like emotionally explode. Yeah, not physically explode, but just smash things up. I think she just gets a kick out of interrupting other people's days. That's pretty funny to think of her walking into a library and then going, No, not this week. Jody, get out. Get out. Thanks also to Nicole C. Deloac. Nicole C. stole my knees.

What? That's right. We were at the park one day. I dozed off for one second, woke up with no knees. Dozed off at the park? Yeah, with Nicole. In company? Enjoying the sun.

I thought, I'm with Nicole. I'm safe. I woke up without any knees. I didn't see you weren't safe. I was very, I was not very safe at all. I actually dozed off to the sound of her sharpening a blade. I think just the rhythmic cleaning of it just put me to sleep. And I woke up with no knees.

What does that mean for you going forward? Well, I'm shorter. Okay. For a start. Which sucks because I was about six and now I'm not. You weren't six. I was about six, now I'm four foot three.

I don't think you were over a foot. I definitely was. No, no, I was definitely six beforehand. I'm four now. I don't know how that works, but I definitely was six foot beforehand. Your torso would have to be like... It would have to have no legs. Well, now Nicole is all knees now.

She's probably selling them on the black market. Thanks also to Stuart Bailey. Stuart Bailey hurts daily. He has some weird-ass Benjamin Button disease where even though he is a young man he has the body and bones of a thousand year old mummy yeah yeah every day is just oh getting out of bed hurts going to bed hurts eating my cereal hurt everything hurts daily jesus that sounds just awful. It is. But hey, I'm glad we can, you know, brighten up your day a little bit, bud. He looks like an elite college athlete.

But he sounds like this. Slow down, you little whippersnappers. Thanks also to Joanne Berg. Joanne Berg, inventor of the Joanne Burger. Wow. That's right. It's a good burger, seem to remember it is it's your classic burger with a little twist she adds a little cheese to it burgers always have cheese

no that's a cheeseburger not just a burger with cheese so it's a cheeseburger no it's a look she has this discussion on every single customer is like can i get a hamburger it's like sure comes a little bit of cheese a cheeseburger no it's a joann burger right it's a big argument they have back and forward i mean i i seem to remember it was like a decent burger i don't think it does it necessitate like this amount of discussion she would disagree and i would disagree sure i'm grateful you try and give someone a free burger and they don't appreciate it you've seen this joy are there free burgers no there's no free burgers she charges up the nose for them money's gonna come for somewhere for all that little bit of cheese thanks also to thomas

burtner well if it isn't thomas burtner the human curtner uh this guy installs curtains but uh-oh they're shadow people really so you hire him you need you got some beautiful windows you want to put in some nice matching curtains he comes around you know he's like oh you guys go take a walk or like make a cup of tea i'll have these things up shortly you come back shadow people over on your house why would anyone pay for this service well they think reviews must be ground zero yeah but you always check the reviews no i usually just look them in the eyes and if they're trustworthy they get the curtain job and that is why we have no curtains and many shadow people it's very true in the studio thanks also to jim t. I can't even be Jim to thank you enough, but I'm going to Troy. I'm going to Troy my hardest. Thank you for your support. I don't

know where to be Jim, honestly, but your support means we can do this every week and Troy our hardest. And you're the reason that we're still here so thank you thanks also to brandon langley brandon strangly langley oh this isn't gonna be good don't worry he wasn't sure he was incarcerated for strangling a lifetime in the 80s uh for i mean i don't want to go into it but some pretty unsavory stuff but he is reformed he is different I mean you can't shake that nickname let's be honest but he's a contributing member of society

and sure it's kind of hard to get a job on the outside so yes he is he is in pest control he's putting his talents to good use he strangles the beasts. That's right.

But it keeps him off humans, you know? It's a pretty good idea. I thought you were going to say you, you know, hired to get rid of the pests in your house. So when you come back, shadow people everywhere. That's right. Right. Yeah.

Thanks also to Terry Winchester. Terry Winchester, the gin tester. That's right. Terry's known in their local town as the gin tester. Terry can just walk into any shop, grab a bottle off the rack and start chugging. That doesn't sound like testing. It just sounds like alcoholism. It's a blurry line. Very blurry line. Especially after a couple bottles because terry terry's not a good drinker well normally testing is like you take a sip and then you in fact

normally you spit it out so you don't get drunk not terry's style okay not terry's style you're saying finish the bottle oh yeah okay usually have a little nap that's extreme as well in the booze you're not even writing any notes down you're not actually reviewing it it's a good life thanks also to andres andres we need you to undress because here in the paranormal commune we do have uniforms right you can wear a this paranormal life black t-shirt with the white triangle which is available on patreon it's true you can wear fresh pristine white robes or you can wear the see-through raincoats from blade runner those are the only three options sure and unless you're wearing one of those you get booted out and i know what're saying. You're seeing a lot of shadow people running around the commune.

Sure, and zero curtains. A lot of them. They're not wearing the uniform, but they're honestly a little hard to control. Yeah, we let them do their own thing. And old Strangly isn't picking up his phone, so it's hard to get the situation under control. So if you would just please pick a uniform, you can continue the initiation. Thanks, lastly but not leastly, to Steven Siegel. You know, sometimes you can just tell from someone's name what they do.

Maybe their name's Smith. You're like, oh, yeah, you would have been a blacksmith. Taylor. Taylor. Steven, I can see right through your name. Siegel, you were a fish. That's right. A fish in a past life.

You're swimming through all seven seas, just taking in the sights. And then one year you just thought, f*** it, I'm going to try out this human shit. Just splooshed out onto land. And it's been history ever since. And a great path that has led you straight to this paranormal life. Thank you to everyone that we shouted out

and everyone who listened to this week's podcast. I hope you enjoyed it. And we will, as always, be back next Tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale. Yee-haw!