This Paranormal Life - #150 The Bell Witch

Episode Date: February 4, 2020

On this weeks episode we go back to the 1800's to investigate the case of the Bell Witch, a strange disembodied voice that haunted the Bell family for years.Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityResearch by Amy GrisdaleEdited by Louis BlatherwickIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If the earth is hollow, does that mean the moon is hollow too? If aliens are so advanced, why do they keep crashing their spaceships? All these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Hello everyone and welcome back to This Paranormal Life, the comedy paranormal podcast where every week we investigate a brand new story, tale, case, claim, beast, creature, and come to a conclusion within the hour as to whether or not it is truly paranormal. My name is Rory Powers, and I'm joined by my partner in crime, Kit Greer.

Comment moi. How you doing, Kit? Doing fantastic. Very fired up about this week's investigation. I don't even know what it is yet I'm Kit Greer. Comment moi. How are you doing, Kit? Doing fantastic. Very fired up about this week's investigation. I don't even know what it is yet I'm fired up. I'm so fired up partially because I just finished investigating it two minutes ago. I can see the papers in hand. The pot of coffee over there.

I got a lit cigarette in both hands. I'm working my way through both of them. Couple in your ears. Couple in the ears too. Because it was a big case. It was a beautiful case it was a beautiful case and i i just can't wait to rip into it with my hands don't look at me like that you're looking at me like i'm weird well i can see you're is it the cigarettes i can put them

out if you want i mean i just never known you to smoke until now all right i'll put there that one's out and that one's all kind of like a little whiskey tumbler, but it looks like it's milk inside it. So I don't really know what that's about. That was to chill things out because things were actually getting pretty fucking spooky. Oh. So without any further ado, let's begin the story. This was a suggestion by a listener by the name of Josh Lynch. We said he's been listening for two years and he wanted us to investigate

the case of the Bell Witch. Our story today takes us back to the early 1800s to a man named John Bell who lived in Tennessee in the United States. Now John Bell was an honest, hard-working, God-fearing field plowing cow milking man with a beautiful wife and three lovely children he owned a small patch of land and through hard

work and god's grace he was able to buy even more land over the next few years what did you say his name was john bell no more interruptions please i feel like you're john you described his wife as beautiful i don't understand what you don't understand about no more interruptions please sure until he had over sorry i i thought you were gonna i thought you were gonna interrupt me john sir you had a look in your eyes and it really is start is starting to piss me off so just mind your let me tell the story now eventually he had over 300 acres things were looking good wow that was until one day in 1817 everything in his perfect little life was about to change i'm sorry what's so funny i'm gonna be weaving in and out of the accent as we go along okay

because it's kind of distracting because i was waiting for rory's voice to kick back in just now but it comes in a little bit still be in tennessee but that's fine i'm gonna tread the line okay so you got to be quick and there's no time to slow down we were already me explaining this is putting us behind okay so i'm actually gonna have to skip a couple paragraphs here. It's probably crucial. The demon showed up at midnight. Oh, sorry. You're right. You need some context for that. John Bell was out walking in the fields,

making sure everything was up to scratch when he heard a rustling sound in the cornfield. Probably a rabbit or a fox, the farmer's mortal enemy. Grabbed his gun instantly. He did. He grabbed his rifle and approached the field. And that's when he saw it. Between two cornrows was a small, weird looking animal. It looked a

bit like a dog, but it had a head like a rabbit. Whatever it is, it's trespassing. And John Bell doesn't take kindly to trespassers. He doesn't take kindly to podcast interrupters. He drew his rifle and fired several times at the beast. Get the f*** away from my corn, you dirty little rabbit-headed bastard. There's so much corn, you can spare a few ears of corn. That's how good farmers go down. You can't spare any of your harvest. When the dust settled, the creature was gone. On the downside,

this meant no mutant dog rabbit stew for dinner, which was John's favorite. But on the plus side, it was gone. The harvest was safe. John had dinner with his family that night, tucked the kids into bed, said his prayers, and hit the hay. Until later that night. John, John, do you hear that? I don't want the clown shoes. I want the peanut butter. John! What? What is it?

John, I think there's something outside. Jesus, darling, it's 3 a.m. It's probably the wind or something. What if it's a murderer? Well, then it's our time to go. It's God's will. What if it's a murderer? Well, then it's our time to go. It's God's will. What if it's a corn thief? Oh, f***!

Toss me my gun! Quick! You're not getting an ear of my corn, you dirty rat scavengers! John Bell ran outside, gun drawn into the darkness, probably firing shots into the sky as he does so. You said he had 300 acres of corn. Why is he so protective? He's hoping it's going to hit something. But there was no one there. Over the following days, the banging was getting worse and worse, louder and more aggressive every night. And

every night the family would run outside and find nothing. But soon, the Bells would wish for a night where knocking was all they had to worry about, because things were about to go buck wild. In the following weeks, John's children would wake up in the middle of the night saying that they'd seen rats crawling all over their beds and eventually that their blankets and pillows were being pulled away from them by what seemed like an invisible figure uh-oh that's not good is it's not good but look this is an old ass wooden farmhouse you know knocking noises happen out in tennessee in the windy nights sheds are banging. Fireplaces are making creepy noises. It's true.

Listen, that farmhouse might be 100 years old, but let's face it, it was thrown together by a few yokels in an afternoon's work. And sure, there's a couple rats. There's gonna be... There's gonna be more than a couple rats. On a farm, you know,

if you're living in London and you leave bits of food on your floor, you could get rats that come along. This is a farm. They grow food from the floor. There's going to be rats. It's like a free-for-all out there. It's a rat kingdom. It absolutely is. It is.

So yeah, there's going to be a couple of rats. Nothing paranormal about that. So John said, Look, we don't want the locals to think that we're crazy, do we? That accent's not doing him any favors in this situation. Imagining a single candlelight lighting his face as he says this. As he's flicking a butterfly knife. The kids are scared.

Let's just keep these little spooky stories to ourselves all right kids but the following events would take this case from creaky old rat infested farmhouse to the paranormal the bells began to hear a distant whispering voice that they described as sounding like quote an old woman singing church songs it's gotta be it's gotta be his old lady they'd hear it at night in the day from the walls from the shadows things were getting weird especially when john's youngest daughter betsy started getting slapped in her sleep what that's so extreme we've jumped from a couple of rat these rats are slapping daughters at this point they believe it might be something to do with this entity that's grabbing pillows pulling

blankets okay so you're saying it's not the rats that are because in london like i say plenty of rats but i've seen them they're small mugged on the way home by a bunch of them they formed up together and made a human in a trench what did they want cheese mostly which you didn't have presumably no human has cheese i got stabbed pretty fast really with a giant rat's tooth she would get hit have her hair pulled and on many occasions would have bruises on her body the next day jesus, that's extreme. Things got so bad that John changed his mind and decided the family needed to tell other people what was going on. So he decided to tell his neighbor, James Johnson.

Well, if you live in the middle of nowhere, your neighbor's a good place to start. And you know, he's probably, you run a farm, he probably runs a farm. He's like a strong, weathered farmhand. He doesn't believe in the paranormal. Yeah. He's a man of logic and vegetables.

Jack Johnson said, Well, now looky here. I don't believe in any of this spiritual hoo-ha. So I'll tell you what. Me and the wife will spend the night in your house. And we'll see if we can see this little spooky ghost you're talking about that night johnson was slapped so hard no that he jumped out of bed screaming in the name of the lord who are you and what do you want? What a thing to be the first thing you say when you wake up in the middle of the night.

That's a slap and a half right there. Go straight to that. To go from going a non-believer to a man crying into the demon realm. He slapped James back to church. In the name of the Lord. But there was no response. For the rest of the night, the spirit didn't disturb them. Things progressed to the point where the spirit's voice became completely comprehensible.

This creepy old lady voice was singing hymns, quoting passages of scripture. singing hymns, quoting passages of scripture. And at one point, even allegedly, she quoted two sermons that had been preached on the same day, 13 miles apart. So this voice, this disembodied entity was able to relay speeches that had been made that same day. Yeah. But simultaneously. Simultaneously. It happened on one Sunday in two different places. Wow. 13 miles apart.

It's like an omnipotent evil witch. Jeez. So it's got some kind of telepathic ability. And it's getting stronger. It can talk now. It can form sentences. The slaps are getting dangerously powerful. There was no keeping this a secret anymore.

At the start, sure, maybe you could have hid it from the town. Like if they came over and heard some whispering, you could be like, Oh, don't worry about it. That's my mother up there. She's in the church choir. She's practicing her hymns. You know, shut up, you old bag. I'm sorry about her.

I love Satan. Satan loves me. Is that a church hymn? Yeah, yeah yeah it's one of the new ones it's kind of a new one it's a bit like a modern rap track the verse is by the devil but don't worry the course is by our lord and savior but if they're in the living room getting slapped in the face while this voice is is screaming out bible passages that's a little harder to cover up that is yeah this is kind of all consuming there's no way you're ignoring this i don't know what you're talking about i don't hear it let the fires of hell rain down on do you want a cup of tea or coffee is that a fire

fire in the corner of the room oh don't worry i that fire. Weird place to start a fire, granted, but... I'm gonna turn up the radio! Those haven't been invented yet. Oh, shit! I love this hymn! But the spirit of the witch wasn't just singing and screaming. As we said, it could also hold conversations and would often refer to John Bell as Old Jack. At one point, the Bells asked,

Who are you and what do you want? The voice replied, I am a spirit. I was once very happy, but I have been disturbed. The spirit offered a number of explanations as to why it had appeared, mainly stating that it was here due to the disturbance of a Native American burial mound located on the property. Oh, so that was quite straightforward. They just had to ask and it pretty much gave up

all information. Yeah. Granted, a lot of the other sentences that it goes on to say are a little more cryptic where they're saying, you know, what are you and or where are you from? And the voice replied something like, I am heaven. I am hell. I'm everything in between. I am a million years. Okay. It's like, all right.

Spirit then. Fine. I think it's like one cryptic answer, one normal answer. So how old are you? 21. Sure. What's your hair color? The fires of hell reddish glow down on thine beast neck i'm gonna

put down red that is accurate at one point the witch even sent them on a very unproductive treasure hunt what was the witch just like want to make a few extra bucks what you heard me there wasn't much more included in that. I just assume they never found anything. But she told them that there was treasure, I guess, buried somewhere on the farm. That's a pretty good little devilish move. It is. Not only slap them, you know, with them, make fun of them, but waste their time.

The witch would also gossip about what was going on in other households. Okay. And would sometimes appear to leave briefly to go visit other homes and spy on them. So telepathic can memorize sermons 13 miles apart. Yeah. But if it wants to see what's going on in another family's house it has to go to the house sometimes i think that the witch kind of showed up and had an agenda but has forgotten what it is and now is a little bored kind of like corny the irish ghost and jeff the mongoose after

a while it just wants to kind of talk and it gets lonely yeah and it's it's not so much about vengeance or wrath anymore and it's more about did you hear that uh mrs dotley next door makes terrible apple pie you know town gossip yeah it's not making peace with john and his family after antagonizing them for god knows how long well definitely not making peace with old jack okay sometimes the witch was actually pretty nice uh especially towards john's wife huh the witch would occasionally give her fresh fruit and sing hymns to her interesting but while also insulting old jack and threatening to kill him almost every day every day i mean at that point it's an empty threat you either follow through with the threat or it's just nonsense it's very strange as well because the witch basically saying how much he wants jack dead how much she

wants to kill jack uh torture him murder him while also giving his wife flowers and singing hymns to her yeah saying how much better she could do than old jack how she actually looks really good for her age would she ever consider dating a witch little things like this word spread all across the farms the town and eventually to the ears of one major general andrew jackson the very same everyone's called jack this time we got john jackson james jackson general jackson will you watch your goddamn tongue? Because this is Andrew Jackson, the very same Andrew Jackson who would go on to become president of the United States. Oh, sir. President, sir. I'm so sorry.

Kneel before him. I didn't mean to offend thee. I will say that this part of the story is heavily disputed by historians. I will say that this part of the story is heavily disputed by historians. While a lot of people claim that he visited around this time, it's obviously hard to prove that without any written documentation. Andrew Jackson himself decided to visit the Bell's farm and find out just what was going on. So he showed up with his horse, wagon, and several men ready to hunt, investigate, and possibly banish whatever ungodly creature had taken up residence in the house. But just as his horses were trotting up the path to the cabin, they stopped in their tracks. It was like the wagon was stuck. The horses couldn't pull it.

Come on, you big bastards, he cried out. But nothing, the horses wouldn't move. Jackson proclaimed, by the eternal boys, it must be the Bell Witch. Then a booming, eerie voice was heard. All right, General, let the wagon move on. I will see you again tonight you're turning that wagon around at that point aren't you not andrew jackson didn't become president by turning wagons around all right he became president by charging headfirst into the enemy's front he made the goddamn british turn around well that might have happened actually do you know what a long time he might have happened actually a long time back. He might have actually, he told the world to go f*** itself, including the bell witch. When they arrived at the house, they met the bells, had dinner, talked about politics, spirituality, and of course, the witch in the walls.

Later in the night, allegedly one of Jackson's entourage, who was a self-proclaimed witch tamer, one of Jackson's entourage, who was a self-proclaimed witch tamer, pulled out a pistol and cried out that it was loaded with a silver bullet that could kill any evil spirit. He bragged that he was the reason why the witch hadn't made herself known. But when the spirit began to talk, his gun wouldn't fire. At which point he immediately began screaming and complaining that it felt like he was being stabbed with pins and slapped about. Oh my god he should have kept his mouth shut. Jackson reportedly stayed the night but what happened that night was never made clear. He was spotted the next day leaving town in a somewhat hurry. I'm gonna go ahead and assume things didn't work out. I'm gonna

assume the gun didn't fire, that the witch tormented them all night. Now, as I said, when it comes to this part of the story, it's very hard whether or not to prove that this actually happened. According to paranormal investigator Brian Dunning, the 1824 presidential election was notoriously malicious, and it seems hard to believe that his andrew jackson's opponent would have overlooked the opportunity to drag him through the mud for

having lost a fight to a witch that's one way of looking at it it's a good argument i mean if this had actually happened during the presidential race it would have come up a bit more yeah well i mean you say that it's hard to prove whether or not this happened but i mean normally we just need any amount of evidence to prove that something happened just even one written i can't but if we don't have that it makes it a little difficult it's a little harder i do really love the idea of the uh the 1824 presidential campaign, where Andrew Jackson is up at the podium giving his speech to the people. He's like,

not only will I lower taxes, increase community commitment in all states, but I will personally see to it that the future of America is the most profitable future we will ever foresee. You know, applauding. And then his opponent is like,

Big talk for the guy who couldn't fight a f***ing witch. Witch? Witch? What? I heard he went to a cabin and he got slapped about by a ghost. Now, I'd like to keep the conversation focused. Hang him! Oh! Whoa there! now i'd like to keep the conversation oh whoa there it was late i was tired from a long day of of of campaigning for america's future you're a pussy good off stage hard cut to the local media

and they're like well you see jackson is popular with local republicans here in tennessee but the witch community will not back him in any kind of race in an absolute landslide andrew jackson has been defeated in the presidential campaign the people have elected richie mccorruption to lead for the next 12 years unconventional a president is not supposed to lead for that long but the people have spoken and they want a man who could fight a witch i do like the idea though of today i mean not a lot has changed to be fair in terms of presidential campaigns i do like the idea of in the run-up nine November 2020, Bernie just taking a couple days out in Tennessee to take on a silver pistol and try and take down a couple witches.

You know Bernie's got a silver pistol somewhere. I mean, he took the time out to do the Joe Rogan Experience podcast. He can definitely take the time to banish a few paranormal demons. Of course. Well, as the years went by, the Bells continued living alongside the witch. She'd become almost a part of everyday life. In the fall of 1820, John Bell was

getting older, and his health began to worsen, to the point where he couldn't leave the house. Despite this, the witch would still steal his shoes and slap him around. Insanely rude. And would every day threaten to kill old Jack Bell. I mean, God, he's on death's door.

Just do it. This witch is all talk. Until December 20th, 1820, when John didn't wake up in the morning. When his son, John Bell Jr., went to grab his medicine from the cupboard, all they found was a small vial of a strange dark liquid.

John Bell Jr. gave some of it to the cat, and it died almost immediately. What? Then the voice proclaimed, I gave old Jack a big dose of that last night! John Jr. screamed, No! and threw the vial into the fireplace,

where it burst into a blue flame. I mean, pretty weird that a witch, if it's a paranormal entity that kind of exists everywhere and nowhere, that it had to use poison, human poison, to kill him. Just summon a bolt of lightning. Yeah, to zap him. That might, though, like, jolt him back to his prime well you don't want to actually accidentally resuscitate him that's how electricity works it absolutely

is the defibrillator right it doesn't make you stronger i think it barely depends how much you have though barely gets another beat out of your heart to keep you going days later the family held the funeral for john bell reportedly one of the largest ever held in Robertson County, Tennessee. And as family and friends finished mourning, the witch began cackling loudly and started singing a drinking song called Row Me Up Some Brandy-O. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Incredibly insensitive.

Unbelievably insensitive. Also problematic because I thought this witch was like some distant... It said it was a spirit. But here, it's placing poison in a medicine cabinet. Then is apparently drunk off its ass at a funeral, which isn't in the house, by the way. Nowhere near the house, might I add. It's just following jack right and even when it kills him shows no signs of remorse no if there was ever a chance for

redemption to maybe go up to heaven i don't know how that shit works you're missing the point yeah she allegedly didn't stop singing until the last person had left the graveyard. singing we like to drink with john bell i really i really like the idea of um them all morning at the funeral you know when they put the bagpipes were playing as uh the caskets getting lowered down uh into the grave and then they just hear like where is that coming from oh my god i think it's the witch oh no no, just... Oh no. Oh, Christ. Lower the confidence faster. Let's go!

Can we wrap up the ceremony, please? Everyone just take some dirt and just push it in the hole. Let's get the f*** out of here. Where's the smell of booze coming from? The witch didn't even leave after that but things definitely calmed down she returned seven years later in 1828 to john's widow but she mostly just came back to chat and talk to john bell jr right because she she liked the other members she actually didn't even hate john bell jr they used to chat apparently all the time about life and religion okay that's pretty f***ed up though because the the witch absolutely killed their dad a thousand percent it admitted to killing their dad it laughed about it and then

it gate crashed the funeral and boozed it crashed your dad's funeral playing blackout by the americanos and then comes back seven years later uninvited and wants to chat to you about life wants to shoot the shit hey it's hey how's life well pretty terrible actually not ever since dad's been gone he actually knew how to do a lot of the farm shit yeah all the corn's dead i don't know how to do that yeah we're broke off her asses mom's depressed you just keep giving her fruit she's too sad to eat if you if you can bring her anything bring her back her husband that she loved she doesn't actually like pears that much old jack over my dead body uh eventually i guess she got bored and after three weeks said she'd be back in 107 years okay well that doesn't work because they're all going to be dead they were dead but she did come back to the bells living closest relative at the time who eventually went on to actually write a full book

about the bell witch as the closest living relatives on year 106 you got to be pretty worried about the following year right even if you're not a paranormal believer in the back of your mind you're like should i take a year out should i go traveling just for next year yeah yeah maybe just avoid all doubt you know yeah because we've already established that she's not even confined to the cabin well that's true so even if you moved you went to the big city she's still there she's gonna creep up on you she's gonna be slapping you about wall street even if you make it as a big league banker now i will say for the record that there are more reported appearances uh by the witch in the 1900s and possibly even to the present day. Wow.

But the main story about the Bell Witch is this one that I just told you today. It's about John, his family, and the haunting that took place in Tennessee. There's even more encounters that took place around this time, the original sightings, that I haven't mentioned. Apparently, the creature could transform into animals. It harassed a lot of people in the town, not just the bells. People saw it transform. People had it screaming in their houses.

It was causing all kinds of mischief. So it's always nice in a case like this where at least we have a large group of people experiencing the same thing. You know, it's always a little difficult when we're investigating a case from the 1800s. Because not a lot of photographs from those days. Not a lot of Snapchats or TikToks or Byte videos. Sure. So there's not a lot to go by. Not that any of those have been helpful in the last couple of years either.

Yeah. We really need to start investigating paranormal creatures on new formats. Maybe we're out of the loop. Yeah, that's true. So that pretty much wraps up our case today. What are your thoughts, Kit? This is an extremely colorful story. This is a great story.

Thank you for investigating, Rory. You're welcome. Oh, thank you too. I will give him another shout out right here. Thank you to Josh. No, no, no. Listen, he got one. He is a great story. Thank you for investigating, Rory. You're welcome. Oh, thank you, too. I will give him another shout-out right here. Thank you to Josh. No, no, no. He got one. He got one. Sorry. That's quite enough. We're going to delete that first

name because I don't even want people to know what his first name is. You're just going to beep it? Yeah. It just seems rude. Well, it's just you know, he... I was actually pushed for ideas and this one popped up and I was like this is actually a really good suggestion. Right, and I know you had a little back and forth with him afterwards as well just to get a few more details but um yeah yeah still only one shout out you only get one shout out okay all right sorry he's a patron i'm actually gonna take away his patreon shout out because you know he's

already got a shot here so that seems really it just seems like that's a weird thing to do to someone who he says um hello my name is josh no jay yay yay easy sorry easy that's what he says in the email that's how he introduces it well i don't want you already read out the email he said i've been a big fan for nearly two years okay we knew that already yeah two years though i mean that's that's pretty yeah it's not that much because we've been going for longer than that so we've all actually almost been going for three years so actually he said i really love the podcast but my favorite episodes are the ones where kit investigates them he what show me that email right now yeah show me that email right now he said i love the kit episodes and i actually you

know what you know what you josh if you love the kit episodes so much, I'm going to take his shout out out of the intro. Yeah. Now you got nothing. You got two enemies, Josh. You know, listen, Josh, and I, god damn it, I hate saying your name on the podcast because you already got a shout out. Yeah, no more. We're not going to say Josh Lynch one more time. If I hear the words Josh Lynch one more time in in the podcast if someone in the facebook group says

josh lynch oh you've said it four times someone said i just can't sorry he's just occupying he's occupying a lot he's living rent free in my head i'll tell you that much he is he's the bell witch of my brain except instead of poison he's leaving us fully researched episodes this is a very colorful episode um investigation on the one hand this is very very intriguing that multiple people in the area also experienced the witch pretty amazing that everyone at the funeral experienced the bell witch all the visitors maybe even a former u.s goddamn president although that is historically highly okay so let's take that with a grain of salt yeah at the same time this bears striking similarity to two other investigations we've covered to date corny the irish ghost and

jeff the mongoose two other double no's right two other terrible precedents to set for a paranormal investigation you don't want your case compared to those two i seem to remember i seem to remember both ended up being people hiding in the house yelling shit yeah which is a little it's a little harder to explain maybe in this situation because so many people are hearing the voices yeah it appears over a huge timeline especially if it comes back in the 1900s but but as we said aside from like pulling pillows and maybe some blankets it doesn't really do a lot that is it that is a fair defense though because i whilst i compare it to jeff the mongoose i mean i think with jeff the mongoose they couldn't like really get it to perform for anyone else right um whereas this is they can't

get this thing to shut up right they're trying to get it to calm the hell down and it's screaming out hymns and bible passages so what i would love to know is if you find any more kind of rational non-paranormal scientific explanations for what could be happening uh look this case is as well documented as a case like this can be we've got multiple testimonies. We've got books written on it. There's even artistic representations of a lot of these scenes. Paintings and pictures of all these events.

The hauntings. Andrew Jackson visiting the farm. The poisoning of John Bell. All of this has been depicted by artists and storytellers throughout the hundreds of years but you know what else has been uh told in stories fairy tales i mean considering i asked you about the scientific evidence this isn't going well look the two varying opinions are that this happened or it didn't. Okay?

There's not that much more. Simple as that. There's not that much more to it. There is no, there's no middle ground. There's no like, some people think it was a witch. Some people think it was a spirit. Some people think it was, I don't know, a prank. It either happened and it was a witch.

Right. Or it never happened at all all there is no in between here there's no like it it could have been this or that it either happened or it was completely made up by every person that witnessed it well that's perfect for a podcast like this where at the end of every week we have to come down to a yes or a no. Did it happen or not? Exactly. And that's what we're going to do. We're going to come down right now.

Kit, I'm turning the spotlight right down on you. What do you think? Listen, I love this story because it pulls together so many different aspects of a paranormal tale that we love. And it's so convincing. The sheer number of people that got slapped in the face by this witch i mean just getting one slap in a paranormal investigation is pretty up there oh yeah i think in the enfield haunting there was one slap in a

goddamn two-part series so to have a ghost literally assassinate the protagonist of our adventure is pretty spicy. That's pretty physical evidence. To assassinate and then gatecrash their funeral, I just have to clap that one. I still applaud it. The audacity. At the same time, there were alarm bells in my head for a number of points in this story. Sure. in my head for a number of points in this story sure um one being the incongruous inclusion of former u.s president andrew jackson into the investigation um which as you said seems to be

without historical basis which doesn't bode well for the rest of our story because it almost seems like using a former u.s president as an investigator in a paranormal case is almost supposed to make it seem more legit than it actually is yeah yeah you wonder if it's kind of like one of those stories that just i don't know kind of like snowballs and picks up momentum and gets bigger and bigger and then it's like it was like oh i heard andrew jackson uh stopped by oh i heard he actually was thinking of moving into town i heard he investigated the bell witch you know it just kind of gets to this point where i think that's with a lot of the facts about this story is that they get blown out of proportion and this someone tells it to someone

else someone tells it to someone else and it grows and to someone else. And it grows and it grows. And then all of a sudden you have this, this haunting that's taking over an entire town. Yeah, I think that's like a propensity of any place that's famous for something. And also maybe someone famous lived nearby. They always love to connect the dots. Yeah, definitely. So all that being said, I personally don't feel we have enough to go on here to say this is truly paranormal. That it truly happened. That this should go down in the history books as a solid yes.

And that's why it's going to be a no from me. It's going to be a no from you. Not going to lie, that's a bit of a gut punch. Kind of a witch slap. Gut punch and a witch slap. Look, pretty much every historian and the majority of paranormal investigators all agree that this is folklore okay it is it it's just a story it's a story from a town that didn't have a lot going on at the time and uh a lot of those in this podcast you know if you like them you

notice notice that we haven't had a single episode set in New York City? I wonder why. There's too much going on. If a witch showed up and they were like, I'm going to haunt you. The people would be like, I don't have any change. I'm sorry. And walk right past her. If it was like back in the day, the witch is like, I have come from an ancient burial.

Is that Miles Davis? Oh, my God. He's playing here tonight. Wow. I got to get tickets. Oh, boy. There's a queue. She gets drawn in.

He gets drawn in. And the second she tries to haunt a New York businessman, he drop kicks her in front of an approaching subway train. They are built to live in that city. All right. And a witch isn't going isn't gonna best how do you think the rats get so big in new york city by eating cryptids eating souls all day long uh it's gonna be a no for me as well that's a double no double no but thank you to the redacted commune member yeah who suggested this all right you know what thanks for sending that in but don't you dare

send in any other stories ever again never never again josh lynch but if you have your own case that you'd like us to investigate and uh you haven't received a shout out yet because you only get one so either if you want us to investigate either use a fake name an alias actually don't tell them to do that because that's pretty smart. So we'll end up killing you. Oh, shit. Maybe Josh Lynch is an alias. Josh, if that is a fucking alias, I swear to God, I'm going to hunt you down.

Granted, if it is an alias, I'm never going to find you, but I'm going to try. That's a good point. If you do have your own suggestion and you're not Josh Lynch, please email it into thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com. Thank you for joining us this week on this episode of This Paranormal Life. Guys, we don't run ads on this podcast, all right? The only way that we can do this thing

and keep it going is a little site called patreon.com. And that is where, from as little as two bucks a month, you can get shout-outs on the podcast, bonus episodes. That's right. Every month, we investigate a beast just for the bonus crowd. And if you get involved, we have 26, 27, I think, bonus episodes. Something like that. Ready for you to binge right now.

So definitely check it out. It's like a Netflix original. It's like all the episodes are right there ready for you to just sit down and just binge all weekend granted it's not you can't you can't really do it in front of the tv because it's not a visual medium so you're probably not going to have your friend ron and like podcast and chill or whatever and actually it's not really got like the stellar cast that a Netflix original would have. Of course. Sure. It's us.

Or indeed the kind of all-star kind of writing. It doesn't have any. It actually doesn't have any guests. Right. It doesn't have any. It's actually just us. But in the sense that all the episodes are there, it's exactly like a Netflix original. We kind of also like we know it's not going to go to everyone.

Right. So we don't even we don't give it like 100%. It's kind of like 60 on a good day. If we to go to everyone. Right. So we don't even, we don't give it like a hundred percent. It's kind of like 60 on a good day. If we're being really honest. Yeah. It's like, it's like, it can be low energy.

It's the stuff that didn't make the cut. Yeah. Yeah. So whenever we say brand, like brand new, never heard before investigations, it's really just a bunch of jokes that didn't land from the 150 main episodes. And a lot of the stuff that,

that you, you can't say on a podcast really controversial shit yeah yeah yeah um that we have to put behind a paywall so people don't actually listen to it it's like whenever we release an episode um and then i get a text from my mom it says like oh my god you cannot say that in public yeah i'll just like i'll take a time code i'll take that bit cut it out and put it on the bonus put it on the bonus episode that's why pretty much every bonus episode starts with us saying poor people that is the name of the podcast of course because you can't it's just it doesn't it doesn't even really fit in the world of the paranormal just a mean thought

that we sometimes have that we have to just kind of bury away in the shadow by sometimes i mean all the time yeah it's kind of deeply held and also speaking of netflix i do want to make it clear that the tv rights for this paranormal life the show are very much up for grabs folks uh so we're bursting to the seams with ideas you know if you want us to fly all over the world to interview people who don't believe in the paranormal and then to fight them at the end of the episode. Yeah, I like that. That's one idea.

It doesn't have to be that one. Maybe we dress up as a ghost. First episode, Conor McGregor. Oh, no. Conor doesn't believe in the paranormal. He just kills both of us on the first episode. That's it. There was just a pilot. i would watch that so fast if the first part of the show is like

so why don't you believe in the paranormal you piece of shit and then just hard cuts to like us in a ring i'm dressed up as a ghost you're dressed up as sasquatch on the ropes and i'm just getting choked out by conor mcgregor who's just pummeling me to bits i'm tagging you in but you don't want to go no i don't uh i'm just imagining it like jackass style you're like hey i'm rory welcome to this paranormal life you've got like a full hockey mask, hockey gear outfit for protection. It ain't protecting you. It's not happening. Just one of our many ideas.

So get in touch. And if you do support us on Patreon, what we'd like to do is give you a shout out at the end of our episodes. So thank you to Logan Nacken. You've heard of Hulk Hogan, but you've never heard of Hulk Logan. Nope. That's right right he is another wrestler who does not believe in the paranormal so episode one we gonna go beat the shit out of him i'm thinking i'm gonna dress up as nessie you dress up as spring heel jack i feel like the

costumes are impeding our ability to fight back yeah because he's just in a leotard yeah he's just in wrestling gear looking at this photo he's got knuckle dusters brass knuckles we didn't tell him he couldn't have them so it was a bit of a loophole oh damn i can't even run i've got a messy tail you could just grab that and spin me around like nintendo 64 bowser thanks also to jesseaniego. You know what they say when things get messy? You call Jesse. Oh, is he like a cleaning company? Cleaning man?

You know, but in a kind of like John Wick style. Like you've got a problem. Oh, like a crime scene. Well, let's not say the C word out loud, but he can fix a lot of problems. Okay. But right down to the, it's like no job too small or too big,

because if you've just like, I don't know, failed your GCSEs, call Jess. Oh, okay. He'll sort you out. He'll get you a couple off the back of a truck. But also murder? Right, yeah. Can do. He kind of works outside the law that way.

Okay. Thanks also to Chris Drew. He didn't actually send us any money on Patreon, but Chris drew a really nice picture of a flower. Wow. And to us, that's currency. That's the currency of love. It is.

It is. It was really beautiful and touching. And I actually, I keep it, it has pride of place in my bedroom. It's a real beautiful piece. But no one else try that because we will need cash. That was a one-off thing. That was a one, yeah.

We don't actually want any more drawing. Even from you, Chris. Yeah. Money next time. It wasn't actually that good. So it was quite touching. But, you know, it was actually a little amateur for a guy of your age. Some of the colors went outside the lines.

And I think you're like in your 20s. So that shouldn't really be happening, buddy. Thanks also to Christian Williams Gordon. They call him the dragon. Because he's always christian williams horden all his valuables oh that makes sense he gathers them all up like a pile and just like a dragon he just sleeps on it guarding it but he doesn't have like a lot of money so it's kind of just like a rare pokemon card oh yeah sure an original dragoon beyblade it's kind of just like a rare Pokemon card. Oh, yeah, sure.

An original Dragoon Beyblade. It's kind of spiky. It's not that nice to actually lie on. Yeah. Pretty uncomfortable. It's kind of cool stuff if you're like 12, I suppose. But if you're a grown man, I feel like you should probably not sleep all day lying on a Beyblade.

Yeah, he's had to go to the chiropractor like three times a week now. Because that dragoon is just digging into his spine. He's barely sleeping a wink. He's got insomnia. He needs to find a valuable bed. And that Pokemon card does not make condition anymore. It's crumpled to all hell. Thanks also to Stacy Watson.

You know, like Sherlock Holmes and stuff, like, Sherlock Holmes and stuff? Yeah. Sherlock Holmes and stuff? Well, the stuff, I guess. The Watson. Watson, Sherlock's sidekick. Sure, yeah. Accomplice.

Dr. Watson. Dr. Watson. That's Stacy. Oh. I guess, yeah, I never heard his first name. His or her, okay? okay listen we don't know what you assume you're assuming you're assuming it's a guy well i'm thinking sherlock holmes uh accomplice i think i just think in the movies and the books and the tv shows right it's been a guy but if you're saying it's Stacey? It's been a guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, rewriting history, aren't you?

Because I think... First off, I'm not doing anything. I'm telling you that that's what it's been. Because actually, if you... I'm just going to Google this here. Who was Dr. Watson? Oh, none of them are real. No.

Oh. Wow. So, I don't even know how this is working, but Dr. Watson herself has pledged on Patreon. So you're like, I'm starting to think that wasn't the real Dr. Watson that requested 1,000 pounds to help hunt the killers of London. We are down cash.

Stacey, you crook. I'm starting to think you're not a real doctor. Thanks also to Hayley Mathers. Hayley, at the end of the day, you're all that matters. You're all that matters to me. You're all that matters to Kit. And you're all that matters to this podcast. However, you cannot give us pictures of flowers

instead of money granted it's a it's a masterpiece it's better than the last one and i've been able to sell them for a pretty penny because actually i've become an art dealer you made like 100 g off that don't say it out loud i don't want people to know the income but right listen there's a lot of overheads, guys. They didn't make 100 Gs flat. The frame was pretty expensive. The frame was expensive. We got that from a charity show.

Blah, blah, blah. Tax, whatever. Sure, we still need cash. We always need cash. No matter how many Gs I'm making off these sweet, flowered paintings. You know what, Hayley? Keep saying that. If they're as good as that, yeah. Thanks also to Celine Van Koningsbroek. Well, if it isn't

Serene Celine. Just about the calmest... Just the most calm... The calm down-to-earth person ever. Just so... Just so unbelievably chill. I'm getting chill just thinking about it. Unless you piss her off, though.

I wouldn't piss her off. Because if you... Yeah, if you do, it gets ugly. It really does. She becomes, though. I wouldn't piss her off. Because if you... Yeah, no, if you do, it gets ugly. It really does. She becomes mean, Selene. She's actually been to prison a few times. Bit of Jekyll and Hyde situation going on.

It's really... It's not even take a lot to piss her off, either. No. No, no, no. Yeah. Serene is actually... That's a bit of a misnaming on that one. Yeah, she hasn't been that way for years. No, no, no. Yeah. Serene is actually... That's a bit of a misnaming on that one. Yeah, she hasn't been that way for years.

No, no. The red mist set in, and it hasn't cleared in about a decade now. Yeah. I see in her photo here she's carrying a bat. Put down the bat, Selene. You don't need a bat. Thanks also to Andy Gallagher. Gallagher?

I barely know her. Seriously though, Andy, you have to stop sending us paintings. Of course. Yours are bad. Yeah. We'll say it. We'll be brutally honest with you.

Someone has to say it. I can barely get 5Gs for one of your postcard-sized paintings. That's just not good enough, Andy. Someone mistook it for a Banksy, but you scribbled andy at the bottom corner and the value dropped exponentially so if you could just just don't even sign it if you're gonna send it yeah so actually i think with most people we keep sending

it we keep saying stop sending them but actually we just want them to change small things and keep saying keep because we're making more money off the paintings. Quite, quite valuable. We're actually going to be having an exhibition in the Paranormal Commune next week with the best artwork. So please do send it in. Unsigned. In a primary school scrawl, you just write Rory on the bottom right. On every single one.

Thanks also to James Gibson. James Gibson gives none shits. not anything not about it he'll just wake up first thing in the morning all right for for breakfast cereal and water all right oh all right leaving the house just kicks down his door just leaving the place is unlocked. I was give a shit Finds calls the police they come why they come they come They he tells them there's been a terrible So mean they this is James they come running to help him he Head but the purple lease officer takes his hat and pisses in it James and then pours it over the guys conch dot face in the ground this isn't

you in in in GTA land he'd have four stars by now borderline five he didn't keep getting those sweet paint jobs he just walks back inside changes his outfit and uh-oh no one one recognizes him. Damn it. But, uh, yeah, pretty renegade kind of guy. And thank you, lastly, but not leastly, to Max DeWingert. He does everything to the max. Lives to the max. Oh, yeah.

Eats to the max. Yeah. And one day he'll die to the max. Oh, what? As he's gonna die harder than anyone's ever died before. Okay, cool, I guess. It's not even like he's just going to be old one day. One day he's going to be the oldest person alive,

and he'll die as loudly and as dramatically as possible. Everyone's going to be like, that's goddamn max. That's how max dies. You know, get heart failure at age 70. as possible. Everyone's going to be like, that's goddamn Max. That's how Max dies. You know, get heart failure at age 70? No. He's going to fist fight

a black bear at age 145. And he's going to win that, live to 200. Of course. And fight a different bit. Fight that bear's grandson.

I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of This Paranormal Life. As always, we will be back again next week with a brand new episode. And until then, folks, always remember to live fast, investigate, and die young, baby.