This Paranormal Life - #151 America's Most Haunted Medieval Castle

Episode Date: February 11, 2020

When we think of haunted medieval castles, we don't think of Ohio. And yet the state is home to one of the most active paranormal castles around, built entirely by one reclusive man. Not to mention the location of a series of bizarre deaths throughout history...Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do I know if I'm possessed? What if monkeys are just baby Bigfoot hiding in plain sight? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life! Yo! Welcome back to This Paranormal Life, the weekly comedy podcast where every time we investigate a different paranormal case, a different paranormal tale, claim.

Wow, first hurdle tripped up there, bud. Hey, this is kind of a team effort, so I don't know why you're calling me out here on the podcast. It just doesn't set a good precedent, does it, for the rest of the episode if you can't even pronounce your goddamn words. Because that's what podcasts are, words. Right, well, you know we edit this thing thing so I easily could have just taken that out. But shit. All right. Don't don't take that out.

Make sure. Actually, I might I might take this edit if that's OK with you. And I'm going to add a bunch of stuff. I'm going to add a bunch of mistakes from old episodes. Really? Yeah, that's right. Unbelievably petty. Also, this is a joint venture in the sense that it doesn't make you look good for there

to be a ton of mistakes. You know what? You blew your shot. I'm hosting this week's episode on today's episode we're we're going to be investigating unbelievably i can't believe you're the cajones to call me out when you're not able to write the light the spotlights are on me now it turns out we're in a pitch black room it turns out it's actually pretty hard to host this thing yeah when everyone when everyone's listening to me you've done it 75 times today we're gonna be investigating oh no i didn't think i was gonna get this far i haven't prepped anything

what do you mean um bigfoot have we done him yet yeah it was the first episode we're going back i actually think we forgot a bunch of dimension a bunch of stuff you don't have any you're reclining you're sitting back in your seat as if you're some kind of joy writer i don't know where you're gonna get notes from for this episode you know what i actually you know buddy i'll let you i'll let you take this one that's really kind of you i'll let you take this one this is roy pars across from me my name is kit greer mulvanna together we are the most decorated paranormal investigators in this universe and every week we dissect a different paranormal tale i think we've up enough at the top of the podcast we'll just dive right into today's investigation first off thank you so

much to tracy for sending this one in, I'm very excited for today's investigation. Okay. Because it takes us to a medieval castle. All right. When we started this paranormal life, I really thought we'd be investigating a lot more spooky castles. So we finally get to investigate one on the cast, except I do concede that it's a weird castle.

It's not like what you would expect from a castle okay for one thing right off the bat it's in ohio what oh wow yeah definitely wasn't expecting that this is significant because ohio didn't really have a medieval period in fact the whole of the united states didn't really have a medieval period. But being in Ohio doesn't stop this place from being one of the most active paranormal locations on earth today. It's said that every night ghosts haunt the corridors and whoever happens to be visiting. There are dozens of eyewitness testimonies, so without further ado, let's dive right in. All right. Like any true medieval castle, it was built by a king. Someone with great power, great wealth, and with many followers who wanted to build something that would last forever. That man's

name was Harry D. Andrews, a Boy Scout troop leader from Ohio. But whilst he may have been a Boy Scout leader, he was also a knight. Back in World War 1, Harry D was storming battlefields in Europe. Probably on horseback, probably with a sword and full suit of armor. Because Harry was so honourable and so chivalrous, he became a war hero. The story goes that in one battle he singlehandedly saved a bunch of allies, and that crucially, one of these grateful men came from a noble and well-connected family in England. Which meant that when the war was over, Harry Dee was shown some British hospitality and was knighted.

Now, a quick disclaimer, whilst this is a fascinating recounting of how Harry D became a knight, I should say that there is absolutely no record of that ever happening. I don't think that's even how knights work. And yet, arise Sir Harry D. So back in Ohio, now a veteran and a f***ing knight, what's he gonna do, move into a one-bed flat and work a desk job? You kidding me? A knight needs a goddamn castle.

Now, normally, if you want to build a castle, a king's got to give you some land to build it on. But the problem is, there's no king in America, other than the king, aka Elvis, or the Burger King. But thankfully, Harry had been a longtime subscriber to the the cincinnati inquirer and it's so this is mental it so happened that if you subscribed to the cincinnati inquirer for a full year apparently you got a piece of land what uh is it like one of those magazines where you get like a piece every issue and then by the end you you're like oh it's it's a farm like you you get it by the end you're like oh cool hey i subscribed to the jackie chan comic book issues just so i could get all of the talismans all the talismans so i'm not here to judge i remember issue one dragon talisman

yeah they started strong they started strong down the line it was kind of like they're not gonna start off yeah they're not gonna start off with rat talisman or something yeah i would sell no copies this is absurd though this was i'll come clean this was the 1920s the only explanation i can think of why they did this is because it was right before the great depression in 1929 they didn't know what sadness was and i'm just giving shit away saying that this caused the depression promotions like this they're giving away property in magazines and so over the years harry saved up enough of these promotional plots of land to have an actual full area to build his castle on in a quiet part of greater cincinnati way outside the city they say rome wasn't built in a day and the same

goes for castles. It was going to be a long road to build what Harry had in mind. He said when he set out in this mission, "...the castle will be an expression and reminder of the simple strength and rugged grandeur of the mighty men who lived when knighthood was in flower. It was their knightly zeal for honor, valor, and manly purity that lifted mankind out of the moral midnight of the Dark Ages and started it towards a grey dawn of human hope. Alright, I think I speak for most of the audience at the minute when I ask, what the f*** is going on? What is happening right now i'm telling you this story

of one of the most haunted locations on planet earth rory i feel like maybe we went into this room to podcast and in the process of setting up i might have slipped and cracked my head on a coffee table and this is what i'm experiencing a boy scout built a castle in ohio after saving the life of a nobleman in world war one you look at my glass i'm just drinking a thick purple liquid wow what you gotta understand rory is that nothing's real man did i mention that he didn't have a goddamn penny why is he building a castle then day one he goes down to the nearest river picks up a couple rocks from the waterbed and brings them back to the plot of land puts them on top of each other and uh-oh he started the first steps towards building a castle that's

not the first steps the first steps are blueprints planning permissions it's not going against walking back pebbles from a stream listen a castle of a million bricks starts with one river pebble so harry pretty quickly used up all the rocks in the river which was kind of a dick move so he eventually resorted to pouring cement into an empty milk carton to make a brick. And he did this over and over, thousands and thousands of times. And 50 years later... 50 years it took him? He had a castle.

Rory, you ready to feast your eyes? Yeah. Check this out. This is insanely more impressive than I thought it was going to be. Well, it started with river pebbles. Turned out pretty neat. I mean, this is a, it's a full castle. Yeah.

There's no f***ing about going on here. It's a castle. Wow. This thing is huge, guys. We've even got like your stereotypical, I'm not sure, my castle lingo is maybe a little off. Sure. Spires. Is that something?

Yeah. It's like spires. Turrets. Yeah. Where your archers shoot arrows arrows through yeah the little windows that they have on castles which is weird because i mean those were by design so you could fire a bow and arrow out of a window there is literally no reason for him to have these time well yeah i wouldn't go that far you haven't heard the rest of the story but. But this is really impressive. Especially for a plot of land

you got free with a magazine. Yeah. It's incredible. Yeah. It's even complete with some kind of cool Legend of Zelda style gardens around it where you could probably hide from guards in the maze. Sadly though, Rory, as soon as this thing was completed,

the problems began. In fact the years that Harry lived in the castle were arguably the hardest of his life except the First World War thing. Despite the literal point of a castle being to keep people out, somehow people kept breaking in, wrecking the place and stealing his stuff. When he first opened the castle he would run tours of the place, wrecking the place, and stealing his stuff. When he first opened the castle, he would run tours of the place, even show people around, leaving out a donation box where people could throw in a couple bucks to keep the place going. But after people kept simply robbing the donations box, Harry had to get rid of the box and buy a gun to protect himself and the castle.

Oh my god. The place was so unsafe that he even started sleeping next to the gun, just in case anyone broke into his room. Yet in a twist that no one could have predicted, they broke in and beat up Harry D with his own gun. Who are these people? I've never been to Ohio, but his story isn't making it look good. Yeah, I mean nothing's gonna make you feel less like a king than the peasants of the land breaking into your castle and beating the shit out of you while you sleep. And as if Harry's luck couldn't get any worse, on one day in 1981,

he was burning trash on the roof of his castle like he always did. When, unfortunately, his trousers caught fire. And whilst he needed to get the trousers off to protect himself from the fire he also needed to get the loaded revolver that was in his pocket out of his pocket before he unloaded several bullets into his foot so scrambling for the revolver throwing it away and then getting his burning trousers off um by the time he was safe he was very badly burned and sadly at the hospital later he died due to complications in his treatment gee he died from that yeah oh my god i was gonna say you cannot be the guy in the woods

who built his own castle standing on the roof with no trousers on and a bunch of boy scouts that is a bad look i don't care how far you throw that gun that is that is not you can't do that so what do you do when you're a king with no royal family to leave all your treasures to thankfully harry had created a kind of round table situation over the years. You see, the boy scouts that Harry worked with over the decades now volunteered at the castle, keeping it running, doing restoration and upkeep, running events, and they came to be known as the Knights of the Golden Trail. That's pretty cool. So when Harry passed, he left everything to the knights. I guess he didn't have any family or anything, so he just went to the Boy Scouts, basically.

Fair enough. But one of the first things the knights noticed when they took over running the place was that Harry didn't seem to have gone anywhere. Pretty much immediately, they started seeing a shadowy figure walking the castle corridors late at night. They would hear sounds from all around the place, stuff that wasn't there just a few weeks previous. But of course, how could they know it was Harry? How didn't they know it was someone else? The Knights worked out that this ghost became particularly active right as something was

about to go wrong, almost like a warning. For example, on one occasion, they heard doors opening and slamming upstairs. So a couple of the guys who were there that night, they ran upstairs to find out what was going on. They couldn't hear anything. They head back downstairs. They hear the banging upstairs again. Jesus Christ, where is this coming from? They follow it to the bathroom. They open the bathroom door, but nothing. Nothing out of the ordinary. So they head back downstairs again. The bathroom door swinging open and shut yet again. One of the knights is like, God damn it, we need to lock that door. What the hell is going on up there? And the other one puts

his hand on his shoulder and he says, wait brother, what if it's harry he's trying to tell us something something's not right up there so they head back up to the bathroom and they just tear the place apart they're looking everywhere until they find in the plumbing one of the tanks it's busted and it's about to overflow and flood the whole goddamn floor and he's sending us a little signal to keep the place running which is kind of interesting because we've had definitely poltergeists Definitely ghosts in the past in investigations who maybe are harbingers or omens of bad things happening Yeah, but never a ghost that's like hey You need to do dishes or like, the lawn needs mowing. Keeping the boys in check.

Yeah. Like, I think we had the Mothman turn up before Chernobyl. Which is like, that's a very different kind of warning. Which, by the way, apparently too late in the game. Way too late. Because I watched the docu-series. It all happened. yeah it looked like he just came to watch which is pretty pretty twisted well it's like the brightest lamp possible right so he's just drawn to it you want a sick bastard wanted

the thing to go up in flames um yeah this is really weird i don't know i mean there's a lot of weird things going on i don't know why a bunch of boy scouts are being allowed to live in a castle by themselves you know it was well i was gonna say it's the 20s it took 50 years so the boy scouts are probably like 65 but it is like the 70s at this stage i think it took him 50 years to build the castle and as soon as he's done he lit his own ass on fire and died immediately, leaving his fortune to a bunch of boys who don't seem like they're taking very good care of the place. But yeah, in this case, it was like Harry was keeping things going from beyond the grave. So, maybe it's true. Maybe old Harry likes to hang out at the castle to this day.

Well, thankfully, he's not alone. He's got company. That's right, there are actually more paranormal entities in this castle. Some even more ancient than bony old Harry D. If you stay overnight in the castle today, if you get lucky, it's said that you might see the terrifying sight of a Viking warrior walking walking the corridors with a cape where's he come from a huge sword where's he come from which seems like isn't even a real castle harry built it what do you mean you saw you said yourself it was a real castle well it looks like a real castle but that doesn't mean it's it once inhabited an old viking lord it may be slightly unbelievable that in greater cincinnati area which sure was only probably built in like the 1800s that there's a viking an ancient viking

unless harry is throwing ghost parties where the afterlife specters are just all all allowed to come and party every night that's i guess the only logical explanation. Some paranormal VIPs. Exactly. Like Vikings flying in a private jet. So whilst it seems bizarre, the thing is Harry wasn't just a war hero and a knight. He was actually a lifetime medieval enthusiast. So he had an extensive sword collection. And one of these was a genuine Viking blade that was used in battle. I'm going to show you the sword room here. It's pretty cool. So Harry had been collecting swords from all around the world. And as you can see, there's some rusty pieces there in his showroom.

Guys, this is badass. This is a circular room where there is a series of chairs all lined up around the curved wall and above every chair there is a very large ancient looking sword um in in glass casing which looks like it would represent whoever is sitting in the chair beneath it. Very unnecessarily cool. I'm starting to doubt the whole thing about Harry not having any money. Yeah, because a lot of these swords look expensive as hell. I'm starting to think the Boy Scouts Association of America need to check their accounts for the years 1929 through 1970

because one of their Boy Scout leaders claims to have no cash yet built a castle and collects uh medieval artifacts like he's indiana jones but the theory is that the soul of this viking maybe he was defeated in battle has been captured into the sword and is contained there to this day where in the castle in ohio it breaks free at night and wanders the halls hey i like that i think that sounds like a cool hypothesis i don't think we've so much come across that one before the idea of a personal item of the deceased yeah holding their soul do you think there's any credence to that i mean we've talked a lot about stone theory before stone memory right very recently in fact it was yeah where basically any traumatic experiences uh can be basically recorded into

stone right which is how you get haunted houses uh and that sort of thing we've covered haunted cars yep haunted dolls haunted boxes cursed heads but very rarely have we kind of come across an a personal item that has some sort of sentimental value to someone where they would be trapped in some capacity in that item yeah it does make me think that that if the emotion is captured in the item and then that is doomed to be bore out every single night by that spirit having the personal item of a viking warrior seems kind of dangerous uh whereas i think it could be awesome if you had say the personal possession of say some legendary pizza chef right where every night you come down in the morning and you wake up to a bunch of freshly made pizzas but then would you

eat him are you eating him oh that could be a problem yeah that could be a real problem you'd be so bummed if you died and it was like your soul got because what i don't have a sword you know i don't have anything cool to get yeah encased what would yours some air pods or something i don't know i should buy more swords off ebay it would be so annoying if you kept it above your bed at all times and then like you die in a port-a-loo and your soul gets trapped in the toilet roll that you last used the one time i don't bring my katana it's like reading festival and i'm like well i guess i'll just be without it for a second and i just die in a toilet my soul's trapped shit imagine how upset you would be if if uh to get a cool soul capsule

you uh you bought like this ancient japanese katana off ebay and you like unbox it that day and then when you're about to go to sleep, all you hear is, Oh, there's already a soul in the sword. It's like, it's an ancient Japanese warrior. And you're like, what the hell,

man, bro? Swords taken, bro. Get your own sword. That wasn't in the description. They said free, free soul vessel.

And it's like, well, there's maybe I can squeeze you in like the handle or something god damn it it's kind of like a studio apartment situation here there's not really room for two i like my private space yeah it's like i i do uh require most of the space in here as i am a feudal japanese lord also there's like six more dudes in here already. What? Yeah we actually bought the sword as well. It's basically me a feudal lord and then a bunch of D&D nerds who just like swords. It's kind of lame actually. It sucks. And as if the Viking ghost

isn't enough Harry D might even have seen a ghost himself at the castle while he was alive and kicking. He told some of the knights while he was alive that not far from the castle is a cave. And that right outside the cave, a woman lived in a cabin. And apparently inside the cave, she used to make moonshine oh this is getting weird until one day why is he telling this to a bunch of boys harry heard a massive explosion ran outside to see the cabin in pieces and inside the cave the um presumably tiny remains of this woman who tragically died in a moonshine explosion. Why would you tell this to children?

Why do they want to know this? And ever since. They need to know. They need to know where the moonshine lady came from. No, they don't. Because... Why is the moonshine even a part of this conversation? Because to this day, the moonshine lady, that's right, stalks the corridors of the castle okay because she can't haunt her cabin it's blown to smithereens in the moonshine incident these poor boys man the

up thing is i'm pretty sure this is like still like i know i say the boy scouts are grown men sure the initial ones were but i think it still is used as a site for like boy scout training and like outdoor activities and stuff like that left to the organization of boy scouts so rory you might think that that the story of harry's castle in ohio um the the paranormal stories end begin and end with the ghost of harry his viking friend and the moonshine lady but tracy who emailed this story into us brought something highly highly disturbing to my attention about this case something that may blow the case wide open you may notice that i've been quite coy about the precise location of where this is i said kind of sure outside cincinnati somewhere you've been vague about a lot of details

the location i've been incredibly specific about lot of details. The location. I've been incredibly specific about most of this. And that's because the town that this is closest to, nay, the area that this is closest to is Loveland, Ohio. Okay. This is the same location

as the Loveland Frog. Of course. The Loveland Frogman. Which I believe we covered in maybe episode two. Very, very early on. We're going old school. Not only that, the river that Harry took the stones from

to build his castle is the same river where the Loveland Frogman was first spotted. What? Really? Tracy said it herself in the email isn't it a little suspicious that this castle just popped out of nowhere that this old man harry just built it out of pebbles is it not more likely ladies and gentlemen of the jury that this castle was built by the frogman built and maintained using paranormal froggy stones from this

verified frogman river all right i think it's about time to wrap this up no i'm getting started i've let this go on for quite long enough it was this story was barely even paranormal right up until what are you talking about there have been countless ghost sightings it's the same site as the goddamn loveland frogman so at one point you think people broke into the castle and beat up a frog i'm not saying harry's a frogman i'm saying that harry was in cahoots with the frogman right you think they were working together that he sold his soul to the frogman or something along is that what they want is that even what they want i thought they smelled like almonds and had a magic wand they are magic i don't know what they want but i'm just saying isn't it weird

did he build a castle by himself in the middle of nowhere yeah but he seems like an absolute weirdo so it doesn't seem like the strangest thing do you think he really burned himself alive on that roof or do you think there was a goddamn frog standing there with a zippo and a revolver pointed at him so not even magic the frog didn't even use magic you could have said he used a fire spell it had to look like an accident don't you understand these frogs they know how it all works they know how this system is rigged it's a froggy frog world out there all right listen that initial frogman drew too much attention to the frog community they needed to pawn it off in some old bat from the first world war oh my god okay okay okay I'm sensing that you might, that you're on the verge.

We won an award for this podcast once. What is happening? And we'll do it again once the, once the ladies and gentlemen of the committee hear this evidence. I'm not going to lie to you, Rory. This is where the rubber meets the road. I'm out of evidence. The rubber meets the toad,

you could say. Hey! You say you're out of evidence? What? Before I, before I made that joke, you said you're out of evidence what yeah before i before i made that joke you said you're out of you really snuck it like under the rug nah nah nah no way yeah yeah no there's a ton more evidence if you want evidence there's a ton more there's a lot of evidence where

that came from just let me google just quickly google something that it's i don't if if you're done it's i'd rather you tell me than try to make up stuff hey i'm not done as if that wasn't enough get get a load of get a load of this don't just google frog no i said don't just google frog frog google frog i boy scouts there's no i'm getting nothing i'm gonna be honest you're getting nothing from googling the word frog is google broken how is this possible is here results let me see hold on your your ipad's not even turned on it the battery it hasn't even been turned on this whole time i uh what have you been looking at i i have an active imagination look i'm desperate to win

this award man we need it we need it badly all right you've seen the numbers yourself we need the we need they're going down yeah going down i tried and i tried and christ tracy sent in a bunch of suggestions but they were all piss takes there's no evidence to any of them so i with five minutes to go to recording you're like hey bro you ready to record what am i gonna say that i can't pull an episode out of my ass at the last minute you could have said that no we got other email suggestions by the way i checked some of the suggestions that tracy had one of them is just unredacted documents that have been leaked from roswell about the actual ufo crash old news we've covered it many times it just came out on wikileaks it's the date says two days ago listen i sped read that aka read the first and last line which

were uh-oh both redacted and it was a snooze fest the second word is graze yeah why don't you you didn't stick around probably the color of the suits of the suits, the MIBs, goddamn clothes. I only care about one color, green, for money and frogs. What makes this world go round, baby? All right, look. So some of it might be made up. But the core of the story is blindingly true. So, Rory, I've presented a lot of evidence to you today.

I've shown you countless pictures of a castle uh and we have to come down to the conclusion as to whether what happened at the loveland castle is paranormal or not what are you saying all right to know for me this week jesus christ yeah you didn't even listening guys discuss it for a second i think the less i discuss about this case the better for both of us no listen you have to you have to give this a fair trial and and come up with just one good thing to say about this just one good thing to say about this investigation uh one good thing um it was short you froggy bastard all right set fire to your ass that's's how he died, wasn't it? Ass first. You don't even know the facts about your own story.

Listen, I am being persecuted here. Like a frog. For crimes I didn't commit. It's going to be a no from me this week. F*** me. Jesus. This story just croaked. All right.

All right. Just shut up then. If you're not going gonna say anything positive then okay let's just get it over with that's not how this podcast do you know what yeah fine it's none of this real yeah you're right it's a big waste of time all right should we do um should we do shout outs then all right shout out to tracy thanks for nothing i guess we uh couldn't exactly convince rory who who should have been on side uh i thought he was my friend but thank you tracy thank you the email suggestion i'm sorry about what just happened i'm sorry about uh this week's podcast i'm sure your

suggestion was great uh unfortunately we got a little sidetracked um and i tried with some unbelievable freestyling off the dome okay that's not what this podcast is about though this it's it's it's called this paranormal life where every week we present a paranormal tale not freestyle a frog story off the top of our dick all right you gotta come prepared with facts and logic and a little bit of science not too much because science is for nerds well we can agree on that much we can't agree on that much for sure i gotta rein it back in okay so it's a it's a double no granted i may agree uh that we can't say this is definitively paranormal but hey if you will agree to this the loveland castle the boy scouts the knights themselves sure they let paranormal investigators stay overnight in the castle

to conduct investigations will you go yeah okay i. All right. We'll investigate it in person. That's the next step to getting a yes out of this. Thank you, Tracy, again, for sending that one in. Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed the investigation into the Loveland Castle. If all that frog chat went over your head, you might want to go back and listen to the Loveland Frog episode, which, believe it or not, was more convincing than this episode. And by the way also concluded with a double no right before we even get into this story fair more than fair guys if you can't get enough of this paranormal life and you want to support the show and you want us to

make more episodes i'll tell you there's one great way to support the cast and that is by hippity hopping all over the way frog leaping all the way to itunes and giving us um a five star review don't dare give us anything less than that i know itunes gives you the choice but let me tell you the gun's the back of your head it's from us you don't have a choice we need those stars guys all right the night sky is barren the paranormal commune we need the stars give us a rating on itunes the best way to support this paranormal life other than patreon.com as you know we don't run advertisements on this podcast patreon.com is the way we directly run this paranormal life from two bucks a month you can get a shout out in the cast five bucks a month gets you access to a whole host of bonus episodes cha-ching going back a couple years now there's a ton of them yeah and if you

want to get yourself a unique this paranormal life commune uniform aka t-shirt you can get it for just 20 bucks over on patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life how are people going to know the that your eyes are open all right you don't wear a tinfoil hat that's weird it's got negative connotations overdone you don't want to do it you don't want to you don't want to have crazy eyes because it's hard to to do a lot of things like get a bank loan when you got crazy eyes sure the subtle way to do it is to buy a this paranormal life commune t-shirt so when anyone sees you they go that guy's eyes are open that girl's eyes are open yeah i will say i tried to

get a pretty substantial bank loan to keep the commune afloat right this week uh and they took you didn't wear the shirt did you yeah i did oh no they took one look and and actually they got they called security immediately so that makes sense i think there's a bad press i don't know who started it it was me i was there the week before you went okay so the bad president was set i made a pretty big scene okay and that was even before i asked i thought i would just like assert my dominance i started stomping on people's desks and things got things got weird things got messy in a bank they're not going to take that well yeah yeah they also have usually like glass and those things you can't even get at the person so i don't know how

you got back it was tough yeah i actually um i said that i i was there to like uh make a deposit and then when i slid the the parcel in between that tiny little slit yeah glass i managed to grab the man's tie and pull it forward immediately i was floored by security it was it was pretty messy that would explain the way they treated me which was um poorly yeah negatively that makes sense because when i was being dragged out i said if you think this is bad my partners coming back in a couple days watch for this shirt because it's going to be the last shirt you see there was a wanted poster yeah that makes sense there was a one i had lost the shirt at that point by the way i was completely naked that would explain because the one to post it was a

very crude illustration of a naked uh rory pars uh i was bewildered by that honestly but i didn't i didn't stop to read it the good news is that we don't need those loans no because we have the patreon because we have the commune supporting us and at the end of every podcast we like to take the time to shout out those who supported us on patreon let's do it right now let's go the patreon because we have the commune supporting us and at the end of every podcast we like to take the time to shout out those who supported us on patreon let's do it right now let's go special thank you to john miller oh john miller the lawn killer oh no oh this guy's the worst he just this is what this guy does he just runs around neighborhoods, right? Yeah. Just with a backpack full of salt. Why?

Just salt in people's gardens. For any particular reason? Just to kill their garden. No reason. That's so rude. He just talks to people, just trolling. Yeah. It's weird to not even have an agenda.

Yeah. Yeah. He actually, I think, now that you mention it, I think he has a manifesto. I think he left a manifesto last time. Okay. It was a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo i didn't bother reading it i just um called the police and got him arrested um pretty smart move so uh john i'm never gonna read that thing i don't know what your motives are why you hate gardens so much but um hey it's making him money somehow and it's coming back to us so i don't know maybe do it more whatever whatever's working out for you thanks also to tucker curran

if it isn't tucker the trucker uh-oh that's right the long distance trucker he goes east coast to west coast west coast to best coast dragging hauls all across the u.s of a really yeah he's living that trucker life you know truck stops uh truck shops truck cops what he's a cop he's a cop actually he actually um he he's one of the people that delivers cops to different parts of the world. They have to do that? I thought there would be cops just living in every place. No, because there's a lot of places where cops don't really want to go. Like the dangerous

places. So he's like, hey, yeah, how about a little field trip? Bring your badges and your guns. And he brings it from East Coast to West Coast? And then West Coast to Best Coast, I think I said. Which is, Best Coast is actually slang for the slums. it's pretty grim down there so he just waits till he's there opens the door and pushes them out yeah and then they just gotta be the law he takes a lot of fair weather cops from you know maybe the bay area and he goes hey guys it's pretty good up here we want to go to the

best coast yeah not yet they hop in they think there going to be all ice creams and lollipops when they get there. Uh-oh. It's Methville, USA. It is. He weirdly has to commit a crime to enforce justice. Thanks also to Cristobal Martinez Garcia. Look deep into my Cristobal. Nice, dude.

Thank you. I can barely Garciacia in there oh that's right um your future is looking pretty dark brother yeah it's storm clouds it's i didn't know crystal balls could even do this but it's just a picture of a skull wow which isn't pretty usually it's like usually it's a lot more subtle than that yeah yeah. Yeah. It'll be like, you know, a dark blue haze and I can represent a bunch of things. Yours was just a man getting hit by a car and then a skull popped up and kind of like GTA style just said wasted. It was a gif. It was a looping gif of your death.

So I guess just look out for, look out when you're crossing the street. Just be careful. Thanks also to Cameron Ferguson. Cameron, if you're coming to the commune, would you be able to bring your camera in? Because I think people should really be documenting what's going on. You've seen Wild Wild

Country on Netflix, the movie about that cult. You should. Don't liken us to Wild Wild Country. It's not a good look i'm just saying that the crew did a pretty good job of documenting what was going on in that cult yeah they did but we're not so i called i didn't say that i didn't say that i never said that why we need a movie crew so i'm saying camera if cameron did bring their cameron we could document the commune pretty well that's what i want just

like they did the cult in wild wild country i will say that uh whilst i don't agree that our cult needs hey that uh you want to take another swing at that one nah what people know what i mean we said it a million times we're not a cult we're not a god not a cult so if i call us a cult it is you know not to believe me it doesn't mean it cameron but i do think that um just like police having body cams is a good thing for social justice yeah i think they should probably be putting cams on us because we do some pretty bad shit when people aren't looking so don't say that bad in the eyes of criminals sure because they hate justice and law and human sacrifices i think we're digging ourselves into

a bigger pit this is getting weird second but cameron just bring your camera just bring it and we'll maybe erase the tapes thanks also to rob lloyd rob lloyd the mob droid this is a mafia robot what is terrifying how did he get a patreon account at least a at least a traditional mob This is a mafia robot. What? It's terrifying. How did he get a Patreon account? At least a traditional mob leader eventually dies. You know, there's always the hope when the violent mob leader dies, that maybe the next generation will be a little kinder, a little more gentle in their mob ways.

Sure. But when Rob Lloyd is a droid that lives for thousands of years he never softens up the face he's made of metal he's rules with the literal iron fist when he says he's gonna pump someone full of lead it means he's gonna put his fist through their skull so pretty scary guy glad to see we're on the receiving end of some some kind of hush money this tin man doesn't have a heart all right he doesn't want one either the wizard these all sound like great um like catchphrases for uh a movie that's coming about about a robotic mobster a rob mob this tin man doesn't have a heart

you're damn right he's a wise guy. His brain chip contains every fact known to mankind. Thanks also to Min Nguyen. All I do is min min min no matter what. He's got money on his mind and he's giving it to us butts. What? That's right. Min supports us on Patreon. And while a lot of people do as well everyone that we've shouted out sure

min is the i think the only one that really means us well really a lot of people i think give us money to keep the show going so that eventually we'll we'll cancel ourselves basically basically giving us enough rope to hang ourselves jesus, you think? That's a pretty cynical view of, like, quite a lot of patrons. Yeah, you should see my Twitter DMs. They get pretty grim. Oh. But not from Min. Min's just sending me thumbs-up emojis.

Doing, like, little jokes like, I hope the show gets taken down. Like little jests, little pokes like that. Okay, no, it sounds like he's the one who's wishing you ill no he wouldn't i think can i see the the message yeah yeah there you go oh that dude that's not a thumbs up that's a that's a middle finger what yeah look at oh yeah no he seems to be the the worst actually he's he he is like he has made a lot of facebook groups and stuff about taking down the show and things like that.

I thought it was like a goof. I thought it was like a gag. I don't know why you would think that. You've never met men. Yeah, now I see about it. The skull and crossbones he keeps sending me. I think that's illegal. That's a death threat.

That is a death threat. Yeah, I thought it was just like saying that he likes spooky things. It's a single emoji death threat. Yeah. I'm a bit sad now. Thanks also to Shanna Phillips. Shanna Killips, the ultimate assassin. Oh.

Yeah, I heard that they once just flicked someone and they died. What? Yeah, that's how insane of a hitman they are. On some Bruce Lee shit. Yeah. No, well, the a hitman they are. On some Bruce Lee shit. Yeah. Now, well, the guy was pretty old at the time. Like, he was on the way out as well. He was, like, deathbed.

I think he was hooked up to, like, a machine. Deathbed? Yeah, he was on his way out. I hope they didn't get paid a lot for that hit, because that's not a very high-difficulty hit. Yeah, it was pretty low-tier. Yeah. But one flick, gone out and it doesn't matter how you do it or how close to death they were already that's money in the bank and that money is coming back to us we have a lot of nefarious people out there giving us money

it's we do it's honestly blood money it is but am I going to turn down money from an assassin? No. I don't really see any reason why to do that. Thanks also to Sedgwick Lee. This girl's actually the opposite. She brought someone back to life with a flick. That is impossible. Absolutely not, sir. Anything is possible if you believe in the

flick. I've never heard of any of this before. It's an ancient heart all right apparently if you study long enough under the masters of the thumb you can learn to take or give life with a flick obviously some of our listeners have been training and i appreciate the effort that they've put in. I only ask that they're kind to us. There's no way this is real, because otherwise doctors would know how to do this.

You want to test it, do you? No, please. I mean, even though I don't believe in that shit, keep your four finger and thumb away from me. I go to flick you and accidentally trip and hit the wall. The wall just explodes out from the sides. Thanks also to John Foster john foster john foster the bomb buster uh bomb buster this is the kind of guy you need at the end of the uh mission impossible movie when you gotta clip the wire with one second to go right john's the man it's a very

unique skill not many people can do that yeah he just walks right up to that thing and flicks it and the bomb just fucking explodes no it doesn't take the life of every man woman and child in the building is he dead does he go with it the flick never takes the life of the flicker oh you'd known that if you'd studied the ancient texts thanks lastly but not leastly to Matthew aka Math2. That's right. We got some good and evil twins here. He was actually mostly known for what he did in the

Great Finger Wars. He flicked many lives off of the history books. He flicked his way to the goddamn top. Are you thinking of a thumb war? Like a child playground game? Look, if you want to take the romance out of it, yeah. It was a thumb war on a playground.

No one died. No one died, but definitely egos were bruised. Right, well, you said that the flick gives and takes life. Yeah, emotional life. Okay, so that's quite different. So I think we're done Yeah. Emotional life. Okay. So, well, that's quite different. So I think we're done here. That's fair. Thanks to everyone.

We've just shot it out and everyone who shot it is yet to come. Thanks for being so patient. We are getting to the shutout slowly, but surely. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode about the Loveland castle. We'll be back next week with, I'll say it now. Two yeses.

I don't know what it's going to be. Two yeses. Yeah. Two absolute yeses. I don't know what it's going to be. Two yeses. F*** it, yeah. Two absolute yeses. See you next Tuesday.