This Paranormal Life - #152 The Mysterious Disappearance of Steven Kubacki

Episode Date: February 18, 2020

When Steven Kubacki never returned from his ski holiday everyone thought the worst, not only because of the brutally cold Michigan weather but because he had entered... the Lake Michigan TriangleSupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityResearch by Amy GrisdaleEdited by Louis BlatherwickIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if time isn't a circle, but instead a triangle? Isn't a chicken nugget really just a chicken's egg? All of these questions you can find the answer to on this Paranormal Life! Hello everyone and welcome to This Paranormal Life, the comedy podcast where every week we dissect a brand new tale, claim, case, or beast and come to the conclusion as to whether or not it truly is paranormal. That's right. My name is Roy Powers, and across from me is my partner in crime. That's right.

Kit Greer. Glad to be here, Roy. How are you doing today? I'm doing pretty good. I'm really excited about today's case that was emailed in to us by Adelaide Maxwell. Wow, thanks Adelaide. Now they emailed in saying, beloved cult lords. Oh, no, no, no, Adelaide. You could have at least not read that bit, to be honest. You're right. That was stupid of me. It's a PR disaster, man.

Beloved lords, she said. It's a little risky it's a little risky but we'll just cut the first bit okay in there fine these these guys don't know they don't know what shit stays in and what goes remember last week when i called them all little rats yeah and i said i can't believe anyone's given us any money to make this shit and how gullible all those little assholes it is true but we can't say it. And we cut it from the podcast. Of course. And we'll cut this.

Of course. And the little rats won't even. Sorry about that, rats. Oh, I said it there. You can't say it in the one you're going to apologize in. Sorry about that, folks. I think there's a loose wire here or something. Add in some loose wire sound effects.

The email said, for your consideration, here are some spooky things I've come across recently. Wow, just a off the dome kind of free form list. Yeah, basically a shopping list of the paranormal. So I took a look through Adelaide's suggestions and one popped

out. The story of Stephen Kubacki, a man who disappeared while skiing. I'm a big fan of a mysterious disappearance. Hell, I've done several myself. I thought, why not just dive into this one headfirst and see where it takes us. Hell yeah. Our story this week takes us to the USA. It's an icy cold February in 1978, Massachusetts, and Stephen Kubacki, a young student learning history at university, decided to take a little time off and relax from his studies, heading out on a short ski trip to Michigan. Nice. Now, Kubacki was known to be an enthusiastic

outdoorsman, and he'd climbed a couple mountains while studying abroad in Europe. So, you know, he knows what he's doing. This isn't his first time. But winter in Michigan can drop to minus five degrees and turning the state slopes into the perfect location for skiers and snowboarders. Is minus five, are we talking Celsius or Fahrenheit? What's the colder one? Fahrenheit. I don't understand how this shit works, all right? Stephen said goodbye to his family, grabbed his gear, and headed out. But on the day he was set

to return, Stephen didn't show up. A day later, and still no sign of him, something was very wrong. 911, how can I help you? Hi, I'd like to report a missing person. It's, it's search teams and rescue crews were scouring the slopes of Michigan, trying to find any trace of Stephen. Now, as I said, winters in Michigan were brutal, and the police are no strangers to missing person reports. Right, okay. So the teams began scouting the areas where they believed Stephen would have been passing through

and it wasn't long before they found something. As the rescue crew flew over the partially frozen Lake Michigan, they spotted something down on the beach. It was his skis and poles left abandoned on the icy sand. Alright, well, we can't jump to too many conclusions. He might have just gone for a relaxing

dip in the lake. Exactly. You gonna swim with skis, you maniac? No, you're gonna just, you know, walk out onto the two meter thick ice and start drilling a hole, sure, because there's no water, it's all ice. Yeah, you gotta get down there. It's absolutely freezing. We don't know

if this is a bad thing or not. Of course. We're trying to stay optimistic here. Of course. When the team investigated the area, they discovered a single set of footprints leading down from the skis. They traced the footprints down towards the frozen lake, hoping it would lead them to Stephen,

still alive. But as they approached the edge of the icy lake, the footprints disappeared. Okay. Still staying optimistic. Yeah, you know, he might have... I'm just thinking he might have got like a good bit of momentum. A little run up.

Yeah, that's right. And then just jumped and dived right into the bish. I've played enough Super Mario in my life that I know on the icy levels, you can jump like a mother f***er. You can basically fly. Right. You know? If you get a sloping momentum, you can take off.

For real. You don't even need the little wing hat. You can go. But here's the problem. The ice on the lake was unbroken. The footsteps didn't pick up anywhere else. It was like Steven just vanished. Damn. Even though they found his skis and his tracks in the snow, the team knew that finding Steven wasn't going to happen. Why? Because for whatever reason, Steven had just walked right into the Lake Michigan Triangle.

What? That's right, kid. Today we're going to be not only investigating the disappearance of Stephen Kubacki, but also the Lake Michigan Triangle. I have never heard of this before. Neither had I until I read this email. But we know from 150 episodes of this show that anytime you hear the shape triangle being brought up it's bad it's bad news which is why i do not

eat toblerone i almost got tricked the other day when i ordered that pizza i was like hey a beautiful circle circle then they cut that thing up i picked it i picked up a slice of the the meat feast and i almost crapped myself yeah yeah a triangle in my own house in my own goddamn house and that's what they do they slice it up real fine so you can't actually see that you've got 12 loaded triangles they're invading they're multiplying and taking over a trojan horse of triangles into your own home. That's why I sleep in my circle bed in my cube room where I live with safe shapes inside my pyramid. What I will say is I don't know anything about Michigan. Never been.

How big can this lake really be? I got a picture of it actually right here. Well, to be fair, Lake Michigan is referred to as, I'm sure you've heard, one of the Great Lakes. Right. So it's probably like a substantial size pond. In terms of lakes, it's up there for sure. One of the greats. But still, it's a glorified puddle at the end of the day, isn't it? Well, you're not doing any favors here i have a picture of not only lake michigan but also the lake michigan triangle

it's a very specific location okay let's see holy mother jesus okay so yeah so it's pretty big okay it's not a pond guys it seems like the cities of, the city of Detroit seems to be roughly the same size as one of the little angles in the triangle. It's a big enough body of water that ships make voyages across it. It's not just sailing trips. It's their voyages. That's how you know it's big. Yeah, that's, that's a pretty damn big lake. I'll give it that.

You've got several, it's like several big cities bordering it, like I say, Chicago here and Milwaukee. Yeah, there's a lot of space to go missing. Oh, yeah. If you get that Super Mario 3D icy slide, there's no telling what state you'll end up in. Well, as we said, the Lake Michigan Triangle has a lot of similarities to the Bermuda Triangle. Since recorded history, this great lake has claimed easily over 1,000 ships. What? Hundreds of them being completely unexplained mysteries.

That's insane. But how... Will you let me have one more fact? Yeah, sure. How deep is this thing? We gotta know. I'll find out for you right now. We've investigated a few deep sea mysteries in our time, like the Baltic Sea and stuff.

I would love to know that. I don't want to give away too much of the end of the podcast. It's deep enough that scuba divers have located the American Stonehenge at the bottom of it. Is that deep enough for you? An ancient civilization. The max depth of Lake Michigan is, looks like 280 meters deep. Yeah, okay. That's up there.

That's pretty deep. One of the first major recorded incidents in the Lake Michigan Triangle happened in 1891, when a large ship called the Hume was just finishing up a routine lumber delivery. Hey, is that the last of the cargo brought to shore? You know it Cap, we're done here! Alright, no point standing around with our dicks in our hands. Let's get this boat turned around, huh? Let's get back home! But as dock workers watched the ship depart for Chicago, they didn't realize it would be the last time they would ever see the ship. When the Thomas Hume didn't make it back home, the owners of the vessel, Charles Hackley and Thomas Hume,

dispatched a crew to search for it. But not a single piece of the wreckage was found. Until 115 years later in 2006. Jesus. When a diving team discovered the ship underwater in perfect condition. When a ship of ghost pirates raided the port of Chicago, claiming as many triangle-shaped pizza slices as they could. Hey, you guys got any ghost booty we can gank?

What? Oh my god, why do you still have those accents? Yeah, turns out they won't let us into heaven. Anyone that comes up in a ship they automatically assume was a pirate. I told them, why do you think I'm carrying fifty f***ing trees in this boat? I'm like the Noah of trees. My f***ing ark is not only made of trees, but carrying trees. Sure, we were flying the jolly roger as a goof we didn't think there was anyone around but when you die waving the jolly roger

you live eternally waving the jolly roger sure we abducted some tom hanks looking mother****** for a goof a sea shanty of course we were singing it when we arrived at the pearly gates gotta do something to stay entertained i don't know how it works up there in heaven but i assume the pearly gates is kind of like the entrance to a club and you know there's there's probably a bouncer waiting outside i think it's one of the disciples is up there yeah i think it's matthew mark luke john one of those guys one of the guys and you know you're letting people in you're saying hey come on come on checking i birth certificates being like is that were you a good person all right come on come on no no trouble for you if you hear in the distance the pirates of the caribbean theme

as bottles clink along the clouds and a rowdy ghost ship pulls up to the front of heaven's gate you'd be like not tonight lads not tonight no no not tonight no no you you you call mary and you tell her the boys are here really you know mary you know mary yeah yeah yeah big friends of mary mary loves us jog on lads not tonight not tonight now as i said there have been dozens nay hundreds nay thousands of ships disappearing on the lake. In 1921, 11 people inside the ship de Rosabelle disappeared and their ship was found overturned in Lake Michigan. Interesting. Here we have two cases of ships disappearing where it seems like the crew just got raptured right off the thing. Right. and the perfect craft is either

submerged in the water or just overturned is it is it the weather that's doing this is there a beast in lake michigan are aliens just flipping these ships for fun a lot of potential paranormal explanations absolutely uh definitely interesting we've already established a pattern of events, which is that, granted, whatever happens to the humans aboard is a big fat question mark. Yeah. But the ships themselves are just trashed.

Oh, yeah. So they're not like Pirates of the Caribbean style, like an empty ship just bumps into the harbor one day. Like, where'd all the people go? Right, right. But the ship is getting sunk one way or another weirdly sunk but in almost perfect condition yeah that's a that's a right weird situation to be in not titanic style snapped into ripped yeah by an iceberg one of the weirdest disappearances that took place was known as the disappearance of Captain Donner. On April 28, 1937, Captain Georgia R.

Donner was aboard his ship the O.M. McFarland, heading through the icy waters of the Great Lake, when they entered into the Lake Michigan Triangle. The icy winds and cold waters rocked the ship as the day ended and the crew began to retire. Even though the ship was nearly at the port, it had been a long day and the captain was getting tired. So, he decided to retire to his cabin and get some rest before they arrived. Well, three hours later, the bell rang from the bird's nest. Land ho! Ease her in, lads. I'll get the captain. The first mate knocked on his door.

Captain, we've arrived at the port. But there was no response. Captain! They tried the door, but it was locked. The crew began to worry and had no option in the end but to break their way in. And when they did, they discovered that the cabin was completely empty what they searched the insides the entire ship the waters overboard but he was gone completely vanished and to this day captain donner's fate remains a mystery granted the only life rafts also gone

this is uh i found this one particularly creepy that just a single person was just taken vanished yeah into the demon realm yeah it almost is like rapture where all the sinning bastards were left behind and the one good egg the wholesome captain yeah went upstairs um i will say because as you mentioned during this journey they entered into uh the michigan lake triangle yeah which for maybe some of the listeners who haven't seen this image they're imagining some sort of bermuda triangle situation where yes sure any sane man would sail around it but the michigan triangle takes up all the lake there's there's no way of avoiding it there's no point in which you're not in the triangle if you're crossing the lake you have to at some point

go through the triangle yeah it's very unforgiving like that unless unless you're just dipping your toes like a kid's holiday like dipping your toes in the waters and then going back up the beach yeah you're entering the triangle and even in that case you might lose a couple toes one toe gets raptured the others are fine this little piggy goes to the market this little piggy goes to the demon dimension no the devil's like that's the toe you kicked your brother with. I also find this extra scary because of all the people to go missing on your ship, the captain is pretty scary.

Like even when the Titanic hit the iceberg and was going down, everyone was probably panicking and screaming. The captain was still there in his cabin being like, hey, that's on me, guys. He was pretty chill about the whole thing i f***ed up i was that was my thing i'm supposed to be steering this this son of a b***h yeah i put it right into the ice that's on me so sue me he's pouring a glass of whiskey they're like i don't think you're sorry but regardless

of that he was there till the end if the movie is is telling any truth he was there as the icy waters exploded in through his windows that's right even if you're like 10 feet from the shore and you go check on the captain and he has vanished off the face of the earth there are just some salty sea boots left empty where the captain should be. You need to just start firing from the cannons. You don't know what's coming from what planet of existence. It's so true. That's when, yeah, even if you're currently embedded on the sandy beach, you need to dive overboard in a life raft.

Just get away from the vicinity. That's right. We've said it before this is where you um the mummy returns style you you start grasping at all the amulets of every world religion on your around your neck of course start start praying to rah as you nose dive into what you think is water but you docked 45 minutes prior and go face first into the wooden planks of the dock. Turns out that was the accident that was predicted. Uh-oh, everyone else was fine. You got a busted face. So here we have a case of an individual

disappearing into thin air and never being seen again. Very similar to our first case with Stephen Kubacki. Who or what took these people away? Where did they go? The only way we would ever find out the answers to these questions would be if someone who had once disappeared in the Great Lake Triangle returned. No. It's May 5th, 1979, 15 months after the disappearance of Stephen Kubacki. His parents are at home on a rainy night watching TV when they hear the doorbell ring. When they open the door, they discover their son, Stephen, standing in the doorway. He was alive!

What?! 15 months after he disappeared. The family was freaking out. After this long, they assumed he was dead. No one's alive after being gone for 15 months unaccounted for. It doesn't happen. Well, I guess this case was the exception because Stephen has returned. When everyone had calmed down, Stephen began to tell his story, or at least what he could remember. Stephen said that he had woken up in a meadow in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, 700 miles from Lake Michigan. He woke up wearing strange clothes that weren't his, and beside him was a small satchel with maps he'd never seen before. He claimed that he had zero memories from the last 15 months. What? He also had $40 in cash,

new glasses, sneakers, and a t-shirt from a marathon in Wisconsin. That's weird. That's the weirdest one. I had a newspaper clipping that says I discovered something in the South Pole or some shit. Kubacki said, The last thing I remember was feeling cold and scared of being lost in the frozen darkness. I feel like I've done a lot of running. Hopefully that is presumably related to the marathon t-shirt that he's wearing. Sure, that's a great clue to wake up with. Yeah, that's pretty great because you can go and check they take a ton of photos at marathons right if there's like

a picture of you with all white eyes foaming at the mouth as you cross the 10k finish line that solves at least a bit of the problem your feet don't appear to be touching the ground kind of gliding is it still running at 10k if your limp body floated from start to finish do i still get the money for charity they try to put a medal on you it just goes right through you like a ghost jesus christ in 1979 he told reporters that he was going to try and retrace his steps and finally piece together what had happened but since then he refuses to talk to anyone about the incident and what happened that day whoa yeah so we don't even know if he ever did go back and try and figure out what happened but either way he won't even talk to

anyone about it interesting and you know a lot of the times when we talk about the people in these cases you know they're people who now do UFO conventions, they wrote a book, or they drank themselves to death. Stephen Kubacki got a master's in linguistics, a PhD in clinical psychology. He has a Twitter account. Oh, shit. He was tweeting last week.

He's a normal guy, despite what happened to him all these years ago. That's very interesting. it is really interesting and brings a certain level of humanity to cases that you don't often have when you're investigating the paranormal yeah we don't like a lot of humanity because it takes away the the fun out of dunking on these losers steve is kind of there's a lot of redemption going on there oh yeah he was embroiled in some sort of crazy paranormal scandal, but he's lived a completely normal life ever since then. Exactly. And the fact that he does have a Twitter account and is still alive doing things to this day

is basically the only reason why I didn't give him a Southern American accent for this story, as we do with pretty much everyone in every story. Since then, he's also even written a book called The Meta-Mathematical Foundations of Existence. Okay, I think he's maybe alluding to something that went on then. I looked up the description of the book and one of the quotes said that the book is about the endless change and limitless possibilities

driven by the inherent incompleteness and inconsistencies of all things thoughts theories and universes right okay and after that my eyes started to melt out of my head with just how complex the rest of the synopsis for the book was not even the book i couldn't even read the blurb yeah grant that i read it's supposed to sell it to chumps all around the world exactly and i'm the chump audience all right i read it uh i don't know american grades what's dumb what's a one grade first grade i guess i read at that level but that's an interesting pattern of events given that all we knew about him up to the point of the disappearance was he liked the great

outdoors sure who doesn't suddenly he disappears for a year and a half and comes back writing about the inherent incompleteness of all things and the universe yeah which it kind of reminds me not quite as an extreme case but uh do you remember the case of the i don't remember his name it was the guy who disappeared and in his bedroom he had written all over the walls and there was a sculpture of a philosopher and he met that alien called zonktar that one was crazy what he did a very similar thing granted not for 15 months no but he did disappear and came back and wrote a series of books that's right uh in his case he returned from quote the dark realm which didn't that turn out to be like his friend's house or something he was at his friend's house yeah uh it was like 16 chapters long as in not the book was but there

was volumes yeah that's what i'm that's what i'm saying and it was all about the experiences he's he'd had while he was in the dark realm whereas steven just seems like a super intelligent guy who had this strange experience in his life and is is keen to move on from it for one reason or another um even though his book is a little out there you know it's got some it's got some interesting theories in it it's got some positive reviews. He's touching on some cool ideas that don't seem to be directly linked with his disappearance.

He's not banking on it. He's not going to UFO conventions trying to sell his autobiography about the day I disappeared, which is a great name for an autobiography, by the way. I'm going to steal that. So please check out my book, actually,

The Day I Disappeared by Rory Powers. You're going to have to disappear yourself, though, to sell a a few copies if you ask my ex-wife and my kids i've disappeared a couple times so i don't think that's necessarily the problem as a pretty small audience if the entire audience is your ex-wife and kids well they're not the audience but they're the reason not the reason i disappeared that sounds like i'm a bad dad or something well i'm not a bad dad you faked your own death to your own family once i faked my own death so yes so you did it sure but once only one time and there was multiple disappearances this is a real can of worms but i have to ask what was one other i faked my brother's death oh and then i had to go help him so do what well not him i didn't have to help my brother but i had to help you know like i had to like go to

the funeral and stuff so i was like hey your old man's gonna be gone for a while don't try and call me and then i just kind of shut the door and left so that was disappearance number two the third disappearance i fake drove my car off a cliff oh so how did how did you fake it did you like roll out or put i put like i put a brick on the tires sure and then just grabbing the steering wheel went over into the into the waters so you didn't fake it you very much drove your car off a cliff sometimes you gotta commit if you want it to be convincing. Why did you put a brick on the accelerator?

Because I didn't think I had the nutsack to put the pedal down myself. And you know what? I didn't. Because as soon as that bad boy went towards the edge, I started panicking. I tried to get my seatbelt off. I tried to unlock the doors. But the child lock kicked in. They're childproof because I got f***ing 12 of the little rugrats.

12? It was a mini camper, all right? And it sunk like a rock. Mini camper doesn't hold 12. It's a tight fit. The situation is unbearable. Hence why I had to leave. That one actually kind of backfired because I was like, as soon as I came to, I was in

the hospital. They were all there. The wife wife the kids made adorable little cards we lost you we thought we lost you and i'm just trying to wheel myself out of there but it's not working right they've got you hooked up they got me hooked up to the stuff so that was a little annoying but hey the the stories are all there the stories are all there the day i disappeared by rory powers all right kit today even though we were kind of focusing on the case of stephen kubaki and his disappearance we also investigated the curse

the legend of the great michigan triangle and all the disappearances that are linked to it where's your head at today because obviously you know usually we'd be looking at an alien story we'd be looking at a cryptid story today it's just a basket of strange occurrences that we need to somehow slap a label onto this is a little difficult for me coming in because i don't know what the hell i'm talking about when it comes to the great lakes hey you're not alone there brother they seem to be substantially bigger and more complicated and scarier than i would have anticipated. Oh, yeah. I think it's useful to think about this as two different phenomenon. We definitely have the disappearing ships that disappear in the middle of the water,

in the middle of this giant lake and sink to the bottom for seemingly no reason. And everyone aboard, if not disappears, dies tragically. And then on the other hand hand we have this highly bizarre case of a young man a hiker going out into the wilderness and never quite making it just a few feet to his destination of the great lake and going awol for 15 months now that story is even more bizarre i think one interesting thing about about Steve's story is the marathon shirt. Because that shirt ground Steve on planet Earth at some point in the 15 months he was not at home.

That's a very good point. You know, we've had cases where people wake up with missing time and all that's left, all the evidence that's left that any of that time existed are strange little artifacts like some goo on their right their chin or you know some strange imprints on their clothes or something burnt you know in their coattails whereas everything that steve has clothes he doesn't recognize but are from this earth, maps of this earth, a marathon shirt from a marathon on this earth. It wasn't a space marathon.

He wasn't racing aliens. That would have been cool, but no. Yeah, there's no reason, aside from the distance, which is massive, there's no reason to believe that anything really paranormal happened in those 15 months, aside from the initial disappearance. That's right. I think almost a medical professional could go on the line here and say that it's far more likely that Steve suffered some kind of bizarre amnesiatic episode that he blanked on a large period of time.

He was obviously surviving and living and and and by all accounts thriving through those 15 months on earth probably with other humans but i don't know if that's not paranormal what do you make of these ship disappearances well i included the ship disappearances because they were kind of a good reflection of what happened to steven you know disappearances on the lake unexplained i on purpose didn't get into a lot of the other weirdness that happens around and surrounding the lake michigan triangle such as the one i mentioned earlier on in the story discovering the american stonehenge at the bottom of the lake oh yeah i kind of glided over that yeah we're not going to get into that today flights disappearing ufo sightings yeah lots of crazy things that

could and should be investigated but don't necessarily do us any favors in deciding what happened what happened to steven yeah so i'm kind of torn with today's conclusion i think the only problem that i have with this case that's stopping me from deciding whether or not it is paranormal is not that these cases don't seem paranormal, but that all of the events that took place could plausibly happen within our knowledge of how the world works. You know, ships crash. Consensus reality. Yep, ships sink.

People fall overboard. Steven, people go missing. Granted, it's unusual he was missing for this long. You know, as I said, he didn't come back with dreaming of greys. He didn't come back with goo all over his eyes. He was just missing. It's true. You know, they say that globally if you think the number of ships that are out there in the world's oceans at this time for uh cruises

for transport for trade there's hundreds of thousands all over the world yeah there is a small but measurable percentage of those ships that goes missing every single year like clockwork it's unavoidable the insurance companies factor it all in because it's impossible not to there will forever more be missing ships every single year and so despite the specific circumstances of these in the lakes of michigan these do just happen. Yeah. Maybe it's a wind trap. I don't know. It's in a weird little place. Maybe it's more prone to like freak storms.

A lot of the ships went missing in the 1800s where ships were probably built out of sand. Who knows why these things happened, but they did. And there's no real reason I can see from the examples we included today to say that this is truly paranormal. Agreed.

Steven, I'm glad you're back and I wish you all the best in the rest of your life, buddy. Thank you so much to everyone for listening to this week's episode of This Paranormal Life. Ooh, let me give a shout out to Adelaide Maxwell for emailing in that suggestion. Guys, if you have your own cases that you would like us to investigate, the paranormal door is always open. We don't know how to close it. That's part of the curse. It's broken. We're trying to get it fixed so we can shut it forever. You try and grab the doorknob, your hand goes right through it. That thing died, I think, like 100 years ago. So please send in your suggestions to thisparanormallifep life podcast at gmail.com and we will

take a look as you know we don't run any ads on this podcast all right it's the voice of the people for the people that's right and no one is gonna get their grubby little money fingers in our people pie so you keep your dirty ads out of my show because we have the support of our lovely audience on patreon.com we shouldn't come down too hard on the ad so because we are about to do a kind of it's almost like we've got that campaign ourselves we do have that campaign like the we're talking about the one that's coming up the pepsi one right well we weren't gonna blow the lid on that right away but it's quite better time quite lucrative it is a lucrative i think you can all appreciate that it is a lucrative deal and sometimes a couple money what did i say money hands yeah in the people little money hands yeah some you know sometimes those hands aren't as grubby as you think and like you got to pick up the pie somehow you need some hands so people have been eating with their

hands for a long time so just remember everyone to drink pepsi max the freshest way to start a morning you know a lot of people that's all i had to legally say that not only can't tell the difference between pepsi and coke but i actually prefer pepsi and they don't even know that we had to legally say that as well yeah we had so just everyone drank a goddamn pepsi right we didn't have we didn't have to say that that's just me freestyling i might open one right now yeah open a delicious ice cold to legally say that though you had to leave but i didn't have to legally drink it which is what i'm doing he's doing it can we add in the sound effects, please, of drinking a Pepsi? I don't even want the thing to touch my lips. It makes me sick.

It's disgusting. Just do it in post. I never put that on my body. So please enjoy Pepsi. And check, I completely forgot what we were doing here. Check out patreon.com where you can get bonus episodes of This Paranormal Life with no ads. None of these grubby little dirt fingered pepsi men getting their rank ass cola bottles in our shit until march and then we will have to start rolling yeah because we promised

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Like beautiful rays of sunshine. That's weird that you want to be woken up awake. Slapped awake for sure. Thank you. Thanks also to Josie Flannery. They say Josie is the highest form of flannery. I love it and that's because josie is such a class act that just mention of their name just you know brings a smile to everyone's face i'm smiling right now

you can't see it but i am thanks also to charlie roberts a lot of people rob banks but charlie robs dirts dirt dirts that's right and know, people didn't think it was a big deal It's like, just let him take it, he's just taking a bit of dirt It built up and they own a continent now Oh my god Charlie is very wealthy This is like the last episode The guy who saved up all the land

And then he made a castle But Charlie's on some continent ruling shit Some Genghis Khan shit And we're getting some of that Continent money, which we appreciate Thanks also to Alex Horta on some continent ruling shit some gang as can shit and we're getting some of that continent money which we appreciate thanks also to alex horta if it isn't alex horta pounder with cheese oh that's right our only burger supporter what does that mean they're a burger shush not even human not even just burger. 100% beef.

Except for, you know, the bun and the accoutrement. Of course. Definitely shouldn't have said 100% beef because that's just a patty. Right. I think patty is one of our other patrons. Oh, yeah. Patty's coming up. I'm bringing the boys, a.k.a. the fries.

So thank you to Horta Pounder with cheese. Thanks also to Hayden Wilson. Wilson, tell me why you're always Hayden. Tell me why you're always Hayden. Hayden. We have a hater? We do. What?

I know it's hard to believe, you know, we do get a lot of one-star reviews. But all those people, deep down, they love us, but not Hayden. Oh, they genuinely dislike us. Absolutely. To the tune of supporting us on Patreon out of spite clearly oh my god thank you I guess thank you

I feel weird about it also if y'all could pump out some five star reviews on the Apple iTunes podcast store that would really help us out because Hayden's pretty hitting us pretty hard yeah I didn't know you could multiply reviews like that. Yeah. They're a tricky bastard. Thanks also

to Jacob Twett. Jacob is always Twett. You need a twow to dwime twoff. Excuse me? He's always Twett. Right. Soaking Twett. Well, he's always Twett because that's his family name. Yeah. But I'm telling you he'saking Twet. Well, he's always Twet because that's his family name. Yeah.

But I'm telling you he's always Twet. I don't understand what you're getting at. Yeah, and I get that. His name's... I know he's always Twet. Twoking. He needs to be Bone Twi, but he's not, all right? Listen, you're getting weird. I don't know why you're talking about Twoking.

I don't know what the f*** that is, but... Just give him a Twow. Thank you, Jacob, for your support. I'm sorry that Rory is going off on one tweezers christ thanks also to clinton james well if it isn't the nerdiest cowboy in the west clinton eastwood what the the nerd the nerdiest cowboy in the west clinton eastwood he's not as badass as clint eastwood okay he's not as ruthless he's not as badass as Clint Eastwood. Okay. He's not as ruthless.

He's not as hard, but he's smart. He always keeps his wits about him instead of a gun. Interesting. He's probably out there educating the banditos. Yeah, he pulls out his calculator and he's like, I know what you're thinking. Have I done five equations or six? And they're like, it doesn't matter, does it?

Because it's a calculator. There's no limitation towards calculations. And they're like, it doesn't matter, does it? Because it's a calculator. There's no limitation towards calculations. And he's like, shut up. He's still a cowboy, so he's a little rude. Right, of course. He's cantankerous. That's Clinton Eastwood. He shoots them between the eyes.

He's still a cowboy, of course. Thanks also to Jason Robinson. Jason Robertson is always chasing Robert's son's son oh that's not good it's not you don't remember robert the doll yeah he has a doll child no and jason will not leave him alone jason robert is a parent you do not want to annoy you don't want to piss off you don't want to run into him at the pta meeting no that little guy is made out of Lombardi, the liquid of the dead. All right? So stirring up any trouble with him or his junior

isn't going to be good for you. Just take it from me. Thanks also to Judith Suzuki. Well, if it isn't Rude Jude. Rude Jude is just your center run of the mill troll. They just go on to YouTube, pick the top 10 trending videos and just type this wasn't that good judith come on as a comment on every single

video they don't even watch it what are you getting out of that judith presumably not a lot but um hey love that you take time out of being a mega troll to support the tpl yeah you've given us that much you can say whatever you want. Thanks also to Maggie Austin. Maggie Austin comes from soggy Boston. That's right. A part of the country where the people are cold and the weather's colder. Oh. But not Maggie.

Maggie's a goddamn sweetheart. Supports This Paranormal Life on Patreon. A wave section. We thank them so much. Exactly. Shout out to the soggy Boston crew. Yeah. Maggie is the umbrella that shields them. Thanks also to Kelly Elizabeth.

She is the Kelly Elizabeth. Whoa. I know a lot of Kelly Elizabeths in my life. Probably around 481. What? Weirdly, I have a lot of them in my life. There's no way. But this Kelly. This Kelly. Number a lot of them in my life. There's no way. There's not that many on Facebook.

This Kelly, number one. Number one in my heart. That's sweet. Number one, I think, in track and field as well at an Olympic level. Oh. Yeah, it's really impressive. A lot of the other Kellys I know, they're not that important. They're not Olympic athletes, let alone give me money on the internet.

Thanks also to Ellis Saunders. Ellis Saunders ponders their own existence. They used to walk around. Why am I here? Ooh, what's the meaning of life? That was until they discovered this paranormal life. Now you got no time to think. Because we're telling you what to think.

That's the important thing. Exactly also to kevin wiley kevin wiley smoked seven daily sorry i went weirdly british at the end there weirdly english accent but um it's not a crazy bad smoking habit it was kind of manageable seven daily uh. That's not good. But, you know, it's something to think on in the year 2020. Maybe switch to vaping. See how you feel. I mean, life's short. He might as well enjoy it while he can. Hey.

Hey. Thanks, lastly, but not leastly, to Chris Murr. Chris actually smokes more than seven. Uh-oh. He's like a f***ing chimney man. Oh, no. Sometimes he doesn't even open the packet of cigarettes. He just lights the bottom of it on fire and eats it.

That's not how smoking works, Chris. We tried to tell him. You're not even getting any of the enjoyment. You're not getting any of the nicotine. He just bombs it all up. Yeah. But, hey, he seems to enjoy it it and i'm not going to stop him from enjoying himself so thank you to chris and thank you to everyone that we shouted out today again

if you want to get involved head on over to patreon.com for more information and of course we will be back next tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale