This Paranormal Life - #171 An Alien Is Buried In Texas: The Aurora UFO Incident

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

In most investigations on This Paranormal Life evidence is grainy, old, and hell, sometimes non-existent. But what about a UFO case where the alien pilot is buried in Texas to this very day, just waiting to be investigated?Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if Roswell was a government stunt to cover up an even bigger conspiracy? They say light speed is the fastest anything can go, but what about dark speed? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life! Yo! Hey! Welcome back to This Paranormal Life. This is the weekly comedy podcast. Every Tuesday we investigate a different paranormal tale claim or case and get to the bottom of whether it's truly paranormal or not

as always you're joined by myself mr kit grimal vena this guy mr rory pars how you doing today rory i'm doing fantastic you know usually i like to go into these podcasts high energy right high focus i'll have a energy drink or a little iced coffee before we get started. Don't we all? You know, it's a little later in the day. We've got a couple beers here. A couple cervezas. We're ready to take the edge off because, look, some paranormal cases are too much. It's like trying to fist fight a shark. Sometimes it's better to just have a beer

and let the shark you up. Right. Than try and fight that thing. And that's what we're gonna do today. a beer and let the shark you up. Right. Then try and fight that thing. And that's what we're going to do today. We're going to let the shark win. They say to aim for the eyes and to punch it in the eyeballs. Yeah.

I say aim for the mouth with a Bud Light. That's the best way to beat a shark attack. This episode brought to you by Bud Light. Oh, yeah. Did you know a shark can smell a Corona from 200 miles away as soon as it hits the water? No other beer. It's f***ed up like that. Even the other like spinoffs of Corona doesn't get it. No.

That's the original Corona recipe. So we're going to dive right into today's investigation. So often on this paranormal life, we investigate tales of UFOs and close encounters of the first, second, hell, even third kinds. Yet, sometimes the physical evidence is lacking. Whatever transpired is lost to history. Maybe it was taken away by the authorities like in Roswell. And even if it's there, like in some video or picture evidence, it could always be fake, right? Rory, what if I told you that there's a case, a paranormal investigation, where the physical evidence, the smoking gun, is there

right now, present to this very day? Oh my gosh. Today's investigation takes us deep into Texas. Aurora, Texas, specifically. That already sounds spooky. Aurora? Aurora, Texas? Usually I'm like, Buckweed, Texas. Sandy Cattle, Texas. Big Rock Valley. It's usually like... Aurora, Texas? It's a physical thing.

It's like something that you would find on a ranch. That's what you name a town after. But Aurora, it's mysterious. It's ethereal that sounds like the texas version of hogwarts yeah where the southern american kids go to aurora school of witchcraft and cowboyery loved to see unless it was there and i missed it but i would have loved to see a like deep south school in the harry universe. Yeah. Really underrepresented. Where all the wizard students,

they don't even use their powers. They're all like six foot five and in the NFL getting drafted. So they don't need powers. They're already world famous. Being able to catch a 70 yard touchdown is already pretty magical. You don't need a wand. Just imagining. Yeah.

Like, you know, some Tom Brady looking character, like, on his retirement day in front of the press junket. Oh yeah, I'm a wizard. By the way, yeah. By the way, that was a footnote to the whole thing. This is a very quiet, very small place.

We're talking like a thousand people tops. This is the kind of place where the local sheriff is also the postman. Of course. And one teacher has to teach every age group because there's only like five kids. So the young kids have to learn really fast and the old kids have to temper their expectations because they're not going to get into college. But if you've listened to this show before, you'll know that when we talk about small places, it's because big things happen there. Nice, nice. April 17th, 1897, over 120 years ago. It's around 6am,

and the local judge, who's also the milkman and the town crier, is just about to awake. He's blinking his eyes open and fumbling for his clothes to get up and face the day, when he hears a huge explosion outside his house. A deafening crash. He runs to the bedroom window to check his farm and see where it came from. Immediately, he sees the tall windmill that normally overlooks his farm has been smashed to pieces. Flames catching on the remains at the top. In shock, he grabbed his coat and ran downstairs to the yard.

Standing there, he couldn't believe his eyes. It wasn't just the windmill. His water tank had exploded too. There was wooden debris and flames and twisted metal fragments scattered all over the ground. Oh my god. Later, he would discover that the debris was scattered for acres all over his farm. So this was a big explosion. This is the big kahuna. He's lucky he didn't wake up dead. Yeah, wake up in hell. Yeah. You know, you're rubbing your eyes open,

putting on your boots until you see that your boots have spikes in them now. And the floor is lava. If you wake up in the morning with your eyes closed and you can kind of feel the razor sharp poke of the devil's pitchfork, keep those eyes closed.

Because that's the only rest you're going to get for the next thousand years. Keep on sleeping. If you're lucky, a thousand years is getting off early for good behavior. Which, good behavior in hell is obviously bad behavior. You've got to torture your fellow inmates for that. How would you ever escape hell if good behavior obviously bad behavior you gotta torture your fellow inmates for that how would you ever escape hell if good behavior is bad behavior and the second you're nice your sentence just doubled you so much as smile at a passing stranger you'll be there for another million years

it was when he looked next to the water tank, to his flower beds, he saw the destruction there too, and it clicked with him. There hadn't been a gas explosion or some kind of accident. Something crashed through the windmill, through the water tank, and had plowed through the flower beds, sending earth flying everywhere before finally skidding to a halt. Wow, this thing's like a meteorite or something. Here we go. Here we go. What are you doing in that situation if you're the judge here? Well, this is a strange case because, you know, usually when we have someone in a small town like this who comes across what seems to be, folks, some sort of UFO craft.

Seems like it. Usually they make the mistake of reporting it to the authorities instead of keeping it on the hush hush. Sure. This guy is the authorities. He is. He's also the people. He is everyone, it sounds like. This town is so small. That's right. So it's going to be interesting to see where this case goes. He's kind of in split minds. He wants to tell everyone, but then the sheriff side of him is like, keep your mouth shut. You know, he's having like Gollum Smeaggel style dialogues in his own head that's so true like he if he decided to he could shut this thing down before it even gets out of his farm yeah

either way he should have a gun it took pretty much no time for this news to hit the stands all right here we go like i said it's a small town the judge's son probably doubles as a paper boy who writes the news out in a piece of paper and throws it onto people's lawns so later that morning journalist s.e hayden published the following article in the dallas morning news the headline read a windmill demolishes it it's a bad headline it doesn't tell you anything about this story. It's also not what happened. He wrote it so quickly after what happened, okay? The headline was basically panting noises and then windmill. Boom. There's no time.

Come see for yourself. The headline to an article should never be, there's no time. There's no time to explain. People are going to throw their paper to the ground and evacuate the city. There's no time because then people are gonna throw their paper to the ground and evacuate the city there's no time to explain get in aurora county texas april 17th about six o'clock this morning the early risers of aurora were astonished at the sudden appearance of the airship which has been sailing through the country. It was traveling due north and much nearer the earth than ever before. Evidently some of the machinery was out of order, for it was making a speed of only 10 or 12 miles an hour and gradually settling toward

the earth. It sailed directly over the public square, and when it reached the north part of town, collided with the tower of Judge Proctor's windmill and went to pieces with a terrific explosion, scattering debris over several acres of ground, wrecking the windmill and water tank, and destroying the judge's flower garden. The pilot of the ship is supposed to have been the only one on board, and while his remains are badly disfigured, enough of the original has been picked up to show that he was not an inhabitant of this world. Mr. T.J. Weems.

They know his name? United States Signal Service officer at this place and an authority on astronomy gives it as his opinion that he was a native of the planet Mars. Papers found in his person, evidently the record of his travels, are written in some unknown hieroglyphics and cannot be deciphered. The ship was too badly wrecked to form any conclusion as to its construction or He's getting a funeral? Yes. viewing the wreck and gathering specimens of the strange metal from the debris the pilot's funeral will take place at noon tomorrow he's getting a funeral yes so much is happening so fast rory what are your immediate thoughts usually you know when we get to the the newspaper report portion of a alien craft the details are still super fuzzy you know it's visitors reported seeing a glowing red ball in the distance it's unclear as to what this is they they're just like hey it's an alien uh we think he's from mars we're gonna bury him in the log come around 12 noon bring some sandwiches

i can't tell if this is more or less realistic because of that why are they why are they burying him because but not even like contacting any further authorities not even like transporting him to i guess like a scientist or possibly a laboratory they're burying him in the ground so this bit's kind of interesting it's 1897 it's a long ass time ago especially in like the deep south where america is not old at this point it's like i don't think there's no nasa there's no space agency there's no there's probably not even and like national authority of like biological research on this stuff if there is it's not probably widely known i think they just decided the authority is the sheriff or the judge and we have a military officer here who says it's chill to bury him

he's a martian just what a strange part of our culture to force on an alien being a bit like because i know like granted burials know, they go back to pretty much the oldest age of humanity. Right. Still humanity. Maybe on his planet when you pass away, they shove space dynamite up your ass and blow you into the stars. We don't know how insulting that could be to literally put his corpse on our planet, by the way. Not even Mars. Our planet is Earth.

It's literally dirt. But how do you contact mars to let them know i i don't know this seems weird this see it seems weird to put him in a tiny little box put him in the ground presumably wave an american flag and do a 21 gun salute uh this is super bizarre i mean i did think it was interesting that they decided to bury him. That suggests maybe a number of things. One of which is that he looked human enough to bury. Because you make a good point. If this were some kind of animal or beast, we might not bury it.

If it was some kind of animal, it might be paraded around or just photographs taken. Whereas this thing obviously was humanoid enough that people felt the right thing to do was to bury it. Yeah. Yeah. The fact that people weren't just recoiling in fear at the very sight of this thing. I mean, they called it a pilot, so. Yeah.

Not a bug. Yeah. I mean, they didn't say anything about his appearance. They just said the pilot was badly disfigured. Yeah. The army officer says he's a Martian. anything about his appearance they just said the pilot was badly disfigured yeah the the army officer says he's a martian like the town isn't gathering round for the funeral of a 12 foot half cockroach half beetle borg yeah we had to dig a particularly large grave because he's a 18 foot

snake so this is immediately a different beast to almost every UFO case featured on This Paranormal Life. We have multiple witnesses, physical damage to the crash site, a military officer who inspected the pilot's body and determined he was from the planet Mars. Then they pulled quote-unquote papers from the ship with alien hieroglyphics on it. Not only that, but dozens of locals visited the site, and then the cherry on top, like you say, the Martian pilot was given a Christian funeral. The details are more fantastical than almost any other UFO case I've ever heard of. I think the only reason this case isn't more well-known or more documented is because it's over 120 years old.

Right. But the age of this case is, I think, what makes the story so interesting. Because in lots of other cases we've investigated, they were reported in the heyday of UFO sightings. People went nuts for these stories in the 50s, 60s, 70s. It was the start of the space age and there was a lot of excitement about what was out there. So people were thinking about UFOs all the time. But 1897, I don't think anyone was thinking about space at that time, really. We were still exploring Earth.

Yeah, absolutely. You know, there's still stuff to do here on our planet before we start looking anywhere else. Like I say, I mean, America really wasn't that old at that point. I mean, people within living memory were still coming over from Europe to settle the United States. I mean, as we learned in previous episodes, we had just finished hunting vampires. It was a whole new world for us. Yeah, there were still drafting laws to ban vampires. That's how long ago this was.

I just love that there was definitely people in this town as soon as the law got passed that you weren't allowed to dig up the remains of your loved ones and burn them for being vampires anymore they were just like on their front porch having a beer just being like well shit what are we gonna do now and then like a beat passes and they just see a meteorite coming down towards the earth here's the the next one. Let's do this. The 1800s version of the mystery machine and Scooby-Doo gang. So whenever I heard this story, I thought, this is it. There's a Martian body buried in Texas.

And if by some miracle it hasn't already been dug up, we can go there right now and dig it up. But it wasn't that simple. As the years after the crash went by, the locals knew the story. But researchers poured in from all around the country to try and validate what happened. They tried to test the water around where the UFO crashed, digging scraps of metal out of trees surrounding the crash site, even using sonar to try and search the grave for a Martian body.

Wow. But the Holy Grail was digging up the Martian. Of course. They wouldn't need any other tests if they just had its body. And thankfully, they knew exactly where it was buried, because after its Christian burial, they put a makeshift headstone there, a big rock that they apparently carved,

badly carved the shape of a ufo into because i guess they didn't they couldn't say beloved father brother and there wasn't a lot to say so that he was a bug here rests bug good luck in alien hell because i know it's a christian burial but you're not a christian so there's no way we actually saw some pretty weird alien porn in the craft that he's definitely going to hell bug on bug human on bug this is the priest at the funeral it is a great shame that the first visitor from the stars is a sinner. Amen. The 21 gun salute is just them pointing 21 guns into the grave and firing,

making sure he's gone. Thank God he was dead before he could spread this, frankly, incredible alien porn amongst our nation. Father, do you want me to take the alien porn? I'm just going to hang on to it for the weekend. See if there's any hidden messages in the bug porn. You know, we have a guy who can actually read hieroglyphics. He might be the right guy to take a look at it.

Well, hold on now for a minute. Because give him... Yeah, he can have the craft part of it. I think there's some interesting stuff with the crafts. But the scriptures! The ancient pornographic scriptures. I wouldn't call those scriptures sir should be examined by me this weekend with a bottle of wine you have an erection father a sentence that no one ever wants to say that is the the most off-putting sentence I have ever heard in my life.

So the researchers appealed to the authorities in 1972, but they were surprised to hear that they weren't allowed to dig up the Martian. They were told that to exhume a body, you need permission from a surviving family member. But an alien doesn't have a next of kin. This is so weirdly tied to last week's investigation. So there was nothing they could do about it. It almost is. The timing is so close. It's almost as if they literally brought in laws to say, you know, you can't dig up a body without permission yeah

and then just a few years later they're like there's an alien down there we need to get him and they're like no we remember your kind that believe in the paranormal we're not letting you dig up shit it's almost as if this is just definitely a human that they wanted to dig up and now that that's illegal they've had to say he came from mars it was totally it's totally fine to dig up his body and burn it no you see he's not human they're like all right fine you can you can dig him up and check if he's an alien they dig up the body of a six foot man immediately burn it no you told us you wanted to look at it he was coming for all of you cut off the head take the heart god damn it every time so this is where i put on my tinfoil hat guys because it's getting

weird even more suspiciously the headstone that originally marked the martian grave was removed or destroyed sometime after that meaning today no one knows where in the cemetery the body was buried. It all begs the question, do the authorities really think it's all BS and that's why they're stopping them from digging it up? Or is there a bigger cover-up going on? What do you think? In a small town like this, do you think there's a chance that they're trying to stop the researchers because they don't want the truth getting out?

Well, it seems weird because originally when you said the researchers had come to the town it was almost to prove the stories rather than disprove the stories uh something which we don't see a lot especially when scientists get their grubby little science fingers i don't know i call them researchers they're probably oh okay regular old me and you's down there yeah so it's interesting i don't think like this is one of these cases that i feel like everyone wants to get to the bottom of it yeah this early on in american history no one really has uh established agendas to keep things secret or not so it seems weird that anyone would be trying to cover up the fact that aliens exist. Yeah, it's kind of early days for men in black behavior.

Yeah, they were children in black at this point. Just as an aside, I mentioned that the headstone was removed. People actually created a new headstone after that so they could continue to pay respects to the alien. It just wasn't on the right site. According to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, people left flowers and wrote messages on this new rock. I thought it was funny one of these messages was, quote, rest in peace my alien brother. I love that.

What do you say to a dead alien? So we've got a pretty weird story so far, but we're missing that golden piece of evidence that would tie it all together. I said that investigators came to the town looking for stuff, but what did they find exactly? Well, in 1973, the Dallas New Herald made an investigation into the case. They interviewed some local residents who were actually alive at the time of the crash. Mary Evans, who was 15 at the time, said it was all real. She told of how her parents went to the crash site,

but they wouldn't let her go because she was too young, and even described the town's discovery of the alien body. I mean, because you said in the news report that people who were living in the surrounding town basically all ran up and got souvenirs. Yeah, sort of grabbing debris. Yeah, so there must be pieces still around, right? Charlie Stevens, who was age 10,

saw the airship trailing smoke as it headed north towards Aurora. He wanted to see what happened, but his father made him finish his chores. Later, he told how his father went into town the next day and saw wreckage from the crash. But the most interesting potential witness of all was Mr. Brawley Oates, the man who bought the old judge's farm after the old man died. This is crucial because after the crash happened,

they cleared away all the alien ship debris and reportedly dumped it down a well on the judge's property. But when Brawley bought the property, he wanted to use the well as a water source and not a dump, so he dug everything out of it by hand to get it working again. Brawley didn't think anything of it at the time, but years later his hands seized up in crippling arthritis. His mind's eye jumped back in time and pictured himself handling all that alien technology with his bare hands. Oh my god. He knew that's what made him sick. And that's why, since 1945, the well has been sealed in with concrete

and a small outhouse was built on top of it to stop anyone being hurt by the alien effects. Wow. Thank god he didn't drink the water it's pretty fascinating that we have already this is a very long time ago but from a 1973 investigation we have at least three eyewitness accounts that said at least that there was debris yeah and they remember people talking about finding this alien body. Yeah. The only thing that makes it a little difficult is you said that the water tank burst.

Yes. So it's not one of these cases where we don't know where these scraps of metal could have come from. There is a possibility that these could have been scraps possibly from the water tank. That's a really good point. That's pretty forensic. I didn't think of that. possibly from the water tank that's a really good point that's pretty forensic i didn't think of that it was a water tank and presumably it was metal that doesn't

explain obviously you know having all these i mean it doesn't explain hieroglyphs there weren't hieroglyphs on the insides of water tanks unless it was an ancient egyptian water tank but despite these eyewitness reports the the journalists and paranormal investigators' actual examination of the town, the graveyard, local soil, and the water from the local well for traces of metal fragments or chemicals, well, those tested inconclusively. There wasn't enough evidence to say this was definitely contaminated by Martian technology. Of course, there is one other explanation for what happened in 1897 in

Aurora. A few years after that 1970s investigation, in 1980, Time magazine ran a story on the town and talked to one Etta Peggs, an 86-year-old Aurora resident who was three at the time of the crash. Oh, wow. She claimed that Hayden, the man who wrote the newspaper article, had fabricated the entire story, stating that he, quote, wrote it as a joke to bring interest to Aurora. The railroad bypassed us and the town was dying. She also claimed there had never even been a windmill at the judge's property. Oh, boy.

I will point out that at least one investigation disagreed with that point and they found evidence of a windmill's base near the well at the judge's farm. So we're getting some conflicting reports. What do you think, Rory? Is it possible that the entire thing was made up by a journalist? I think it's definitely a possibility. You know, we've investigated a number of stories where journalists have definitely, you know, exaggerated cases to make them seem a little bit more exciting. We're talking about a case that's over 100 years old. A lot of the people

that were there at the time are dead now. And trying to recall memories like this from your childhood is going to be a difficult thing. I mean, even myself trying to remember specific details when I was like four or five years old i can't do that i can barely remember 15 so i could definitely see why this would be a difficult sort of thing to especially because a lot of these kids it seems like weren't allowed to go to the site yeah it's really hard to tell because it could go either way i mean on the one hand we have more witnesses saying this is true than not but at the same time as you say all of these people were adults long after this crash yeah and the crash could have already entered local legend by that point

where everyone kind of believes it or wants to believe it's true but actually some of the people who were there have either died or moved on we need to dig up the alien body. I didn't want to say, I didn't want to go there. It's not legal. We will have to appeal to the authorities, but we're going to do it. I don't have to appeal to anyone. I got to appeal to Senor Spade and Father Pickaxe. Yeah, I was so against the burial at the start,

but this is genuinely a decent idea for how to preserve an alien body and keep it out of the hands of the interfering government surprisingly so because apparently it's there to this day the problem is we don't know where in the graveyard it is but it's probably not a big graveyard what we really need is a is a goonies-esque treasure map to find the alien corpse. Yes. Look, if they had buried the little bastard that crashed at Roswell, the world would be a different place. It would.

But instead, people thought... We'd be riding hoverboards. People thought, oh, I'm going to do the right thing. I'm going to report it to the sheriff. And then the sheriff's going to do the right thing. And he's going to report it to the MIBs. And then the MIBs are going to report it to the mibs and the mibs are going to report it to the president that line of people is a line of people with guns to the back of the other person's head boom boom boom boom boom boom boom all the evidence gone except for the guy at the

top and that's what we have today whereas what we need is an alien's rifle pointed at the line of authorities heads yeah because that thing is it will be unstoppable i think it shoots snakes it's a laser cannon i'd love to do we should do that that'd be quite totally off topic we should do that for an episode of this paranormal life where we like record a secret bonus episode stick it on a usb pen sure and and like hide it somewhere in the world write a little like treasure map to see if anyone can hunt it down and find it. That would be pretty funny. That's a

good idea. That's cool, right? And we could like read out the clues on an episode and then people would have to go hunt it down. That would be cool. I like it. Maybe we'll do that. We'll think about it. Okay, so Rory, we have a hard question on our hands. We gotta decide whether this thing is truly paranormal or not.

What are you saying today? Look, you know I love a good UFO case. This is exactly the kind of stuff I love to investigate on the podcast. But I've done enough of them to know what you need for a convincing paranormal case. Unfortunately, there is a direct correlation between the amount of time you were going backwards and the amount of evidence required were going backwards and the amount of evidence required to prove your case sure uh the further back you go the more substantial the evidence has to be which is complicated because by its very nature the further back you go the

less there was to document events like this there wasn't videos there wasn't easy access to photography a lot of the relics and scraps of metal that they talk about here would have been lost in 100 years so it's always going to be a difficult case to prove i think what we really needed for this case was a direct testimony from someone who was at the crash site yeah someone who saw other than the journalist yeah yeah because by all means from the description uh and the article written in the newspaper the whole town should have seen this i mean presumably it wasn't just one person at the funeral there was a whole bunch of people grabbing scraps from the alien craft it seems strange to not have more people to be able to

corroborate this story i think in defense of the story i think everyone at the time supposedly believed it to be true yeah and we do have the those people who went to the crash site their kids are telling us it's true and it happened and my parents went beyond that it's just too long ago and it's just sadly lost to time i think there weren't any other once it was written up in the paper no other investigators or journalists were going there and interviewing people about it it just wasn't that time it's definitely a little fishy as well hearing about the railroad passing by the old town and uh out of nowhere hey i guess you know there is a reason to come visit we've got

an alien buried in our graveyard that's pretty cool you want to come see him sorry we're burying him today the day that we find out about him yeah i don't know it's kind of suspicious what do you think i'm pretty much on the same page i want to believe this i want to give it a yes but we're just that people hate hearing it from us i bet at this point but we're just that one piece away yeah if that thing is there and researchers have gone and tried to sonar scan the graveyard for evidence of the body but just haven't got it yet sheesh i think we still need that martian body it's worrying how many episodes of this paranormal life end with us screaming we need to dig up the body.

Yeah, it's not going to sound great when it's played back in court, is it? I think it's a double no today, guys. It is, unfortunately. I will say, if anyone does want to visit Aurora, Texas to try and find the Martian body for themselves, while the gravestone is gone, at the cemetery there is a Texas State historical marker with some information about the alien's

history so if it is a cover-up they aren't trying to make everyone forget about it is grave digging not robbing grave digging a crime if you didn't know that there was going to be a body there because sure if you go into a grave if you go into a graveyard with a shovel start jamming that thing in the ground i think if you're in a graveyard that's that's pretty illegal i'm not i'm not arguing that point that was definitely illegal if i was outside of the graveyard like a couple feet outside if i was distinctively outside the graveyard and i was digging and i cracked the top of my shovel into a human skull sure let's say hypothetically i didn't stop what if i kept digging around until i found the whole body is it is that illegal you've done this no it's hypothetically speaking

hypothetically you kept going if i had the skeleton of a man in my house. Okay, science present tense again. If I hypothetically had a skeleton of a man in my house. So you're not just asking about the digging. You're asking about is it legal to have a man's skeleton in your house? I'm pretty sure it is. I think the whole thing is pretty illegal. I'm wondering at what point I took things. I could have taken things too far.

Okay, so you did slip up there and just mentioned that you have done this. I assume that wasn't just a speaking error i just need to know is it more or less illegal for me to bin him to throw him in the garbage hypothetically is that more illegal or is it less illegal what do i do listen i've never heard someone who's done so many illegal activities so worried about what's legal and illegal i just need to know what to do now because every move i can make seems to put me in checkmate i feel like i'm cornered in the board with a cornered yourself i'm cornered in the board with a human skeleton and i don't know i don't know how to get out of when you kept digging when you kept digging even though you knew there was a human skeleton on there that's when you cornered yourself but

see this is the problem i'm worried now to go back and rebury him because to a bystander an average joe it's gonna look like i'm freshly buried well it's also in it's in been in the news so it is gonna look bad because it's in the news as a crime. They're looking for the person who did it. Exactly, and I can't put him in the bin. What happens if a little dog goes through my trash? He picks up a bone, then he brings the bone to his master. His master calls the authorities. All of a sudden, I killed a guy, and I have his bones.

I'm just imagining you dumping the skeleton in a doggy daycare. You're like, where did these little criminals get him from? Where? Tell me where you found the body, boy. He runs right to my apartment. No, get out of here. Get out of here, you little rat. Said I'd give you treats if you ran to the woods.

Where'd you get that little thing? It's like a human skull it's not even a little bone he starts humping your leg double no i think it's gonna be a double no granted thank you guys for tuning in this week i hope you enjoyed the case of the uh ufo sighting in aurora texas that's right don't dig up any skeletons because it's a bitch to get rid of them and it's a bitch to keep them. So you're openly, you did it. At this point, sure, yeah, I have the bones. Guys, if you just kind of wait until next Tuesday

to get a dose of the paranormal in your podcast player of choice, head on over to patreon.com forward slash thisparanormallife where from five bucks a month, you can get access to a whole host, a backlog, a alien grave treasure trove of bonus episodes where we cover things like boom just one thing just say one thing boom sure i'll just think of like the last podcast episode it was really recent so i should know what

it is uh all the things we talk about boom go the alien grave no that was what we did just now so yeah another podcast literally one there's like 30 of them so i'll i'll get like at least one more right i think we did one last week so oh yeah boom uh vampires yeah vampires so that wasn't that wasn't a bonus episode that was really no that was one of the regular ones i think i would know because i'm pretty sure i did that episode so no that was me i hosted that one really uh we're getting sidetracked surprised to hear that honestly boom just say boom i think you're lying i think i did that one pretty i'm sure okay pretty i'm sure i'm pretty sure i'm sure it's a bonus episode you said there was a number of episode things that we had done and you were gonna list you implied you were gonna list them all off uh christ oh okay i got

one just one last one was boom cursed video games no oh wait yeah that was one that was one that's the most recent one so we went throughout history and we find the most cursed video games to ever exist and i made rory guess which of the paranormal legends were true and which ones were not it was a nice nice change of pace and talking about one of our favorite topics, obviously. It was such a good episode that right now we are going to play the entire episode, start to finish. Get ready for round two.

It's 30 seconds long. And if you want to get crazy from 20 bucks a month, we have commune t-shirts. You can get shipped to your door. And beyond that, sky's the limit. Head on over to patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life. You can't get into the commune without a t-shirt. And you can't get out of the commune with a t-shirt.

Weird thing to say. Weird thing to just... It sounds like a threat. I don't know why you'd ever want to leave. Because it is paradise on earth. You'll need a few t-shirts though because it's cold. You'll need to layer up. And at the end of every episode,

we like to take the time to shout out those who supported us on Patreon. Let's go. Special thank you to Caleb Jones. Caleb Jones goes digging for bones. Now, Caleb, you got to be very careful there, my friend. As I mentioned earlier, once you have the bones,

that's actually the most dangerous part they're very hard to get rid of very hard to dispose of so just best of luck yeah well don't take advice from rory thank you to harry dawson harry dawson is very awesome pretty much anything he puts his mind to he's one of those people that uh you know they're like oh hey have you ever skateboarded before and he's like oh i'm not sure if i guess i can give it a go inward heel flip right down a vert ramp which is a pretty difficult one actually he's very awesome thank you also to andre schoenborg now andre schoenborg sounds suspiciously like uh andre cyborg i am willing to call your bluff here, Andre, and say that you are a cyborg from another planet.

He did donate us a handful of screws. On Patreon. That's a red flag. Yeah, that's not going to get you anything. I'm sorry. Thank you to Emma C. We tried Emma A, we tried Emma B, now it's time for Emma C. That's when all the other plans

go wrong, and as a last resort you just open up a cage and unleash Emma C on the world um she's some kind of beast she is a beast I will say that right now we call her Emma to kind of like make our enemies less afraid to be like oh Emma like she seems like a nice person she is a 10 foot panther okay msc right yeah no one would guess that thank you to louise scothern louise scothern is the mother of dragons mother legally different she had to tweak it a little bit so she couldn't get sued that's annoying yeah luckily the dragons can't speak english so they don't even know what's going on they still listen to her because she wears the dress and the calise wig and everything that's copyright infringement yeah that bit is for sure

thank you to sean sean bon jovi again a slight copyright change just to be on the safe side of the law um but actually a better singer than the real thing then bon jovi yeah i mean he's pretty much got to be one of the best in the biz living on a sean bon jovi taught john bon jovi everything he knows he he sings living on a curse the death metal version thank you also to rebecca fer Ferguson. Come on down to Rebecca Ferguson's servicing. If your car is busted up as all shit, Rebecca will get it back on the road in no time. Or your money back. So that's pretty, that's good then.

Yes, I get my money back if she doesn't fix the car. Well. Don't say well. That's not. There's a lot of outstanding lawsuits. A lot of people didn't get their money back and their car was very much not back on the road. In fact, she had it crushed into a tiny cube.

I think it's more of like a recycling scam of some kind. Oh, like, give me the car, give me your money. It's a robbery, really. It's not a service. It's definitely not a servicen. Thank you to Neil Connolly.il connelly is real lonely uh he doesn't have many family or friends but that's because he lives on the moon whoa that's a good that's a good twist he lives on we haven't really covered on the podcast yet he lives on one of the uh secret moon bases made by the chinese government

on the far side of the moon. So he is quite lonely up there. Everyone always remembers the first thing Neil said when he landed on the moon. No one ever remembers the second thing he said, which was, f***, I'm lonely. Yeah. It was almost directly out.

It was almost a run-on sentence. But they cut it. One giant leap for mankind. F***, I'm lonely. I hate that guy, Buzz. Thank you also to Catrice. Catrice loves to feast. Sometimes they won't eat for like two weeks, three weeks straight.

You know, they're almost dying. Jesus, that doesn't sound safe. Oh, no, it's absolutely not. And then on that last day with their final bit of effort, their final bit of life, they just order everything from McDonald's on Uber E their final bit of life. They just order everything from McDonald's on Uber Eats. One of everything. That's gotta be a long wait

waiting for that Uber Eats driver. You gotta really plan ahead because that almost takes a day in itself. Because they ordered everything. Yeah, so you really gotta wait till you're a day from death to do it. But they mastered it. I think.

The Uber Eats driver just calls an ambulance as soon as they get there. Thank you to Joe Toner. Joe Toner, aka The Boner. That's right, because he goes to every single grave digging up as many bones as he can find. Wow, that's not where I thought that was going.

That is a dangerous game, because you've got a lot of skeletons to dispose of, or keep, both of which are very risky. Is that what you call yourself, a boner a boner yeah in the profession that's what we call ourselves it's slang rock hard boners okay because you've got to break a lot of rocks that's enough thank you to holly conald they call her holy holly yeah because the holiness of death means jack shit to her every graveyard she comes across is like a car boot sale what can i gank what's available to me she's taking bones from the floor like a freaking pup holly conald more like holly bone hold she can barely hold on to the amount of skeletons. Thank you to Louis Jeffries.

Louis Jeffries, a.k.a. Theft Knees. Because he stole a bunch of skeletons knees. Where are we getting these patrons? That's right. This guy's got a couple of skeletons in his closet. Literally. These are entirely gravediggers? This is unbelievable. unbelievable yeah of course i told the boners

aka my gang of grave robbing pals about the podcast and i guess they're pretty into it yeah jesus thank you to loppy ray loppy floppy ray because their victims go floppy on account of missing all their bones so they're taking bones from the living. Now that is a line I do not cross. Pre-death gravediggers. Interesting. And I will cross one of the most sacred lines of all between the living and the dead, but I will not steal

from the living. Thank you to Caleb Osborne. Caleb Ozzy Osborne. This guy is... Listen, I hate to say it, but he's a better singer than his namesake. Wow. He, in fact, taught Ozzy Osbourne everything he knows. So, Ozzy Osbourne stole his persona.

That's right. You're blowing my mind here. This is crazy. Pretty nuts. Yeah, Caleb really started the whole heavy metal revolution. Because Caleb doesn't sound like a very rock and roll name. I'm sorry, Caleb. No offense to you.

Right. No, Ozzy bested you there. Yeah. He did. That might be why he's world famous. That guy actually donated $6.66. Nice. That's pretty badass, actually, Caleb.

Thank you to Oscar Ponce. Oscar Ponce loves to dance. Except he's not into kind of all the classical kind of stuff. He actually invented a lot of those new dances. The floss, the nay-nay. Oh, cool. The, the, the, the, the, the. Well, listen, I'm not a dancer.

I don't know any of the rest of those. He just gets up in the morning and just starts cooking up TikTok dance moves. I love it, man. I've been working on my own. It's called the Crypt Robber. You pretend like you got a little shovel. All right, that's not a dance. You pretend.

You pretend, but you got a shovel all right. That's not a dance you pretend you pretend But you got a shovel I go method sometimes sure thank you to Steve Murray Come on down to Murray's Curry's get yourself a hot bowl of the good stuff. Oh, could I that's great I'm actually starving could I just get like a like a tikka masala or we have a tikka masala We are missing some of the ingredients currently, but here- So you don't have a tikka- That's fine. I could get a different one. Yeah. Order another one.

This is a weird service. All right. I'll take a mad dress. A what? Jesus Christ. Okay. I'll take- If you want a mad dress, go to a Taylor's.

All right? We sell curry here. And we're actually in a hurry. Okay. Give me literally any curry. We just changed the name to Hurry's Curries. So you got 30 seconds to order a curry curry I get the hurry get the fuck out of my store. Jesus Christ man get the fuck out of my store

So I don't get to get a curry now Been 30 seconds sir. No It's been like two seconds Think you should leave This takes more time than simply serving me the curry Kicking the art. Thank you, lastly but not leastly, to Andrew Sefton. They should call him Andrew Thefton.

Because he steals people's... Let me guess. Bones. Yeah, their bones. I'm glad to see that everyone in the boner community has come forward in full support of the podcast. Thank you, I guess. Dig long and prosper, my boners. Okay. Thank you to everyone we've shouted out today.

What a terrible way to end the podcast. Thank you to everyone who supported us this week. Thanks for everyone who has been shouted out. For everyone who is still waiting on their shout out. We are getting if you have any sorry to interrupt if you know how to dispose of a skeleton in a very uh inauspicious way please write into this this is not the platform gmail.com i have access to that email inbox i don't want to read those emails i'm sure there's a way to mute

the phrase skeleton crime crime or bones. And I'd really recommend you mute it fast because they're already coming in. Okay. Thank you. We will see you next week on Tuesday again for a brand new paranormal tale. Bye bye.