This Paranormal Life - #179 The Pascagoula UFO Abduction

Episode Date: September 15, 2020

What happened to two men in Pascagoula 1973 is sometimes described as 'the second most famous UFO abduction story' ever told. In 2020 it becomes even more convincing as new evidence is uncovered. Only Rory and Kit can determine the truth.Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are UFOs alien Uber drivers that simply got lost? How do tornadoes work? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life! Yo! Hey! Welcome back to This Paranormal Life. This is the paranormal podcast where every Tuesday we investigate a different paranormal tale, case or claim and get to the bottom of whether it's truly paranormal or not as always you're joined by myself mr kit grumel vena this guy

across from me mr rory pars how you doing today roy i'm doing fantastic excited to be back for another episode of the show uh excited not to be hosting as usual and uh excited to just find out what we're gonna we're gonna get stuck in the middle of this week. Today's story comes courtesy of a number of readers, including Shabazz Syed and Tracer. So thank you to both of them for sending us one in. Tracer again? Tracer's knocking it out of the park lately. That's crazy. Tracer, whoever they are, was the one who emailed in last week's suggestion of the Moon Cave,

which actually turned out to be one of my personal favorites, not just because it led to the Hollow Earth and Agartha itself, for a number of different reasons. So, wow, thank you so much for the submission. Keep sending them in, guys. Hell yeah. Yeah, not very often that we have... Reaper, McCree, where's the rest of y'all?

I know, Tracer's living up to their namesake, lightning-fast suggestions. McCree where's the rest of y'all no Tracer's living up to their namesake lightning fast suggestions today what I am about to describe is sometimes called the second most famous UFO case in history wow today's story takes us to the Pascagoula River in Mississippi back in 1973 when 19 year old Calvin Parker and Charles Hickson age 42 are fishing on the river It's a cool October evening and the men have been fishing all day when around 9 p.m The man here is zipping sound Huh?

What is that? Can you hear that Charles? I'm getting a crazy buzzing noise over here. Nope But then again my hearing ain't as good as yours, kid. Although, wait up. I think I'm getting it. What is that? Is it getting louder? They hear this thing getting louder and closer. It became so unbearably loud that both men felt instantly nauseous. Then quickly, a light in the distance started racing towards them.

Whoa. Closer and brighter, closer and brighter. It was a blinding blue light. And inside it, a large and long craft of some kind hovering above the ground. Look, these are men of the countryside who have come out to have a relaxing evening catch a few fish maybe tell some tall tales maybe crack open a cold one with the boys is this is this boy drinking age how old is the boy he's not but it is mississippi in the 70s so he at least is a fake id yeah this isn't what you want no this isn't what you want at all

i'm just imagining the older gent hickson he's been regaling parker uh with all his like old man tales of the world and what a badass he is and how many giant fish he's caught and the moment he sees that blue light he's like let's get the out of. He pisses himself and jumps into the river. Yeah, this is intense. This is the equivalent of going out to get some chilled breakfast at Starbucks and your muffin explodes and your tea is acid. Right. You didn't ask for any of this. What you wanted to be a very relaxing time has become quite stressful very fast. Yeah.

Like if that happened to a skydiver it's like well you're a thrill seeker you kind of wanted to live on the edge yeah uh yeah no this is going to a spa day and then the jacuzzi gets a mind of its own and starts pumping out 10 times the power of water did i mention the staffer lizards hungry hungry lizards yeah not so relaxing after all they watched as a hatch opened and what the men described as three robot-like aliens exited the craft wow they were around five feet tall and completely gray i know what you're thinking that sounds a lot like other stories we've covered on this podcast which could be an interesting point in itself but these were

somewhat different from other ufo encounters for starts they had claws for hands wow um i think at one point these were described as like a lobster's claws they had no neck small slits where their eyes and mouth should have been and their nose and ears were sharp and pointy wow okay yeah this is very different most bizarre of all instead of two humanoid legs the men claimed that their legs were joined together like a single pedestal and that they glided along the ground floating. Oh, okay. Kind of Flatwoods Monster style. Exactly.

I think they had claws as well. Yeah, it did remind me of some previous descriptions. Definitely a bit more rare. But it's very interesting to get these little pieces of, these little nuggets of information because whilst it's interesting if they match other stories because it could be a real type of alien, it's also interesting when they differ and are that much more believable.

Definitely. Before they know it, in a haze of recollection, next the men find themselves on board this spacecraft being examined by these otherworldly beings. Although terrified, they seem to have no control over what was happening. Parker would later say, I was kind of numb and went along with the program. Then, poof, they were back at their fishing poles.

The men scrambled into their car to try and regain their senses and wits, to calm their nerves. Parker turned on the radio for some distraction as Hickson reached into the glove compartment for a bottle of whiskey, which he started drinking. I didn't even embellish that bit of the story, that is what he did. That was a terrible idea. Parker looked at Hickson what do we do now jesus jesus christ i i don't know about you but i want to forget all of this all of it nothing leaves this car we've got to go tell the sheriff that's what we're gonna do we don't have a choice calvin we've got to find out whatever the that was. Parker knew that Hickson was right, and they drove to the

sheriff's office. As it happened, the police were not surprised to have more visitors that night. By the time the two men arrived at the sheriff's office, several people had already reported sightings of UFOs that night. Wow, okay, this is what we like to see. One person described what they believed was an experiment near the local Air Force base. Another mentioned something that looked like a helicopter. This clearly strengthened Parker and Hickson's resolve in telling their story. I mean, it's pretty much the dream scenario. If you get probed by a five-foot gray, the last people you want to tell are the police.

They're going to ridicule you they're going to disbelieve you they're going to tell you to get the hell out of their office basically so the best result you can possibly hope for is you get in line at the police station they ask you how can i help you and you say i'm not really sure how to say this but i've been abducted and probed by an alien and they go go, take a ticket and get in line, buddy. We've all been probed. Yeah, the thought of this man and this boy outside being like, look, this is going to be a difficult conversation.

These are old school, God-fearing men. But I really think we can win them over and we have to just be honest and tell them what happened and hopefully they'll believe us. And you open the door and like there's a line of people some of them are covered in goo some of them have like tentacles coming out their ass it's like some of the aliens with the pointy nose are in the queue you're to rat on humans yeah it's like you're actually the least weird thing in the room yeah that's great they're just like some hillbilly took my laser gun he's a goddamn liar he's a guy i'll kill you

i had this before i was abducted i swear to god so the police took their story and whatever the man told them the police believed enough to take it somewhat seriously so rory i wanted to show you a drawing of what i believe the police took as a visual description of what happened that night oh okay okay cool similar like we have with regular crimes where um sometimes a illustrator who works alongside the police will sketch out kind of a rough image of what the perpetrator would look like in a crime. Exactly. All right. Jesus Christ.

So scratch that. They've drawn a little stretch. They've drawn the blueprints. They've drawn the blueprints to the alien craft. Yeah, this is not what i was expecting at all um as i said you know typically if it's like a caucasian male with a mustache and maybe a light scar under his eye they'll come up with something like that this is a drawing of a space egg right with actually a lot of information and measurements on it and then a sketching of what looks like a troll doll

with yes slinky arms not a lot of like definition on the humanoid alien um but we do get the ballpark like you say it's got kind of long arms and a squat little figure i guess that's the thing you know with humans we all kind of look the same so when it comes to uh an illustrator working with the police department they're like okay did he have any defining characteristics maybe a mustache or a scar if you sit down with these guys and it's like well for a start he had one leg and he was hovering like a jet i'm just just imagining the office illustrator he's like all right well slow down did he have the mustache or not well i couldn't see it was pretty dark and uh i don't know maybe he's drawing the mustache anyway he's like right right right what did you say about

claws big paws on him i'm not sure if he had a mustache and you've actually that's a pretty big mustache uh for i think you're just doodling there's no time to focus on facial expressions because he has a goo body pale white skin and and what they're saying is elephant feet i mean they might as well have just instead of drawing anything just scroll the words you can't miss them because just say alien and presumably there's only one alien in time yeah you don't need to put up a most wanted poster with this image yeah you can just see he's got a birthmark and a tattoo on his back yeah if you see a gangly looking space mother out there just kill it immediately just shoot yeah but parker and hickson did not stop at the sheriff's office.

They told the press too, and the whole story went nuts. It was everywhere within days. Soon, every newspaper and media outlet was contacting the men for their side of the story. They even got an agent to help promote themselves. Oh, boy. Was that bad? You already seem to be grimacing in the background there look we've done a lot of investigations into ufos before this is a step in the wrong direction this is someone who had an experience attempting to utilize it in a way

that um they can turn it into some sort of career opportunity yeah money making scheme this is what we don't like to see. This is a big red flag. They didn't contact the Mississippi State University to get their researchers involved. They went straight to The Sun and TMZ. So they got an agent, and this agent cleverly arranged for the police to...

I didn't realize agents could pull these kind of strings, by the way. The agent arranged for the police to i didn't realize agents could pull these kind of strings by the way the agent arranged for the police to conduct a lie detector test on the man to prove that the men were telling the truth i see the logic here that there was obviously enough naysayers responding to these media interviews that they were like you know what before this gets any further let's just prove once and for all that they're telling the truth yeah uh apparently the police agreed and that is a lie detector test that both men passed wow now is that asking questions pretty much as black and white as were you on board an alien craft or was it more like did you see something weird that night i would hope

i don't know i would hope that the mississippi state police would be more to the point than that you know they're from the south they they're not like you know they're not these coastal elite beat around the bush cops you get in california or whatever right. They were just like, listen, did they stick a probe in your butt? I got a little league baseball game to get to. Were you abducted or not? So despite the agent being a gigantic red flag, I think this might have been a pretty good move. Okay, okay.

Because it generally created an atmosphere of people believing the man. And all of this even drew the attention of the, wait for it, you guessed it, the center of UFO studies, J. Allen Hynek. What? And James Harder. He's still alive? What year is this? This is 73, so he's still kicking about. There's no way he's still alive and still working.

Wasn't my case in the 1940s should we see when he died i think it wasn't that long ago he died 100 can we see are we going to be the first people to realize he's been alive for 400 years that's why he's so interested he's a ufo did i mention he's got seven foot arms and a beak he's actually pretty weird looking okay i exaggerated a little but he died in 1986 yeah he was around for a minute so i realize we're probably driving some people crazy out there but i'm pretty sure most listeners will realize that jl and hynek's name comes up quite a lot pretty much every ufo episode because through the 40s through the 70s he was the guy he was the pre-eminent ufo researcher for a bunch of people but including the government under project blue

book and other projects yeah yeah he was seriously discussing like, look, we have plenty of evidence to suggest these UFOs are coming from space. But there's also plenty of evidence to suggest they're coming from other dimensions. He's like, I don't know which it is, but it's one of them or both of them. Which is insane to think that anyone who has been employed by the government thinks that i love that it seemed like he was going to reel it back in at that second one it's like sure it does look like there's a lot of evidence building up that aliens have been visiting us uh for the last couple of years but the red dot site is on the back of his neck but he's like wait hold your fire i think he's gonna back down there's actually more evidence uh to prove that they've

been here since the dawn of time in the whole earth the sniper misses he gets too excited damn it that has got to be the worst sniper of all time can you imagine being a sniper who misses a shot and afterwards you're like i'm sorry man i was just so nervous what that's your one job is to snipe you gotta blame it on something else you gotta be like hey those military nachos we had for dinner last night, they f***ed me. There was a, there was, frankly, there was a dog barking and a crow went right by my crosshair at the precise moment. I kid you not. A dog barking isn't good enough. It's actually not.

It's like you're in a war zone, sir. You need to be able to deal with bombs and shit. So, yes, like we say, J. Allen Hynek, this guy is the man behind Project Blue Book and essentially Professor Xavier of everything paranormal. If anything passes through the sky remotely resembling a UFO, Hynek will be there. And he personally visited Parker and Hickson to try and understand what happened. His associate, James Harder, tried unsuccessfully to hypnotize them, but nonetheless, Harder concluded that they, quote, had experienced an extraterrestrial phenomenon.

Hynek himself drew back a little, but said they, quote, at least had a very real and very frightening experience. Okay. All of this helped their credibility enormously, but it did not stop the waves of accusations and skepticism from the skeptic and scientific communities. There were small inconsistencies in their stories. So, for example, at first they said the creatures had a hole for a mouth uh that later

changed to a slit skeptics claimed that the officer who conducted the lie detector test which was very relied on was inexperienced inexperienced four foot and gray slit mouth slit eyes pointy nose he's a snowman basically and that might not have been that interesting on its own but hickson did refuse to take another lie detector test right from a more senior officer i don't know what is going on at this police precinct that they're just taking orders from whoever it seems weird doesn't it? But interesting that he wouldn't do it again. They also pulled up some of Hickson's past, including him recently being fired for scamming his old colleagues out of money.

That's not good. And it was around this time that Parker had a nervous breakdown, perhaps from the stress and trauma of everything they had been through, but it could also have been the first sign of a rift between the two men. He might have been stressed out about the fact Hickson was doing everything he could to promote their story and change their lives,

something Parker was actually trying to shy away from. Right, right. So while Hickson went on TV shows to talk about what happened, Parker went home, took a bath in literal bleach in case aliens had infected him with anything, and left town for good. Wasn't that... what? Yes, it's bad for you. Right? Very bad.

I thought you weren't even supposed to, like, touch bleach with your bare skin. He probably, like, diluted it, maybe just maybe just had like got in rinsed himself off i don't know jesus okay sounds painful though yeah it does i mean it's like shampoo is pretty sore when it gets in your eyes yeah if i get even like a little drop of herbal essences and these bad boys i i'm crying for like an hour you're not like the the woman in the advertisement like you know yeah basically having like an orgasm in the shower no oh yeah you're like oh yeah it's not the ad there should be like a uh like a man version of that right where it's just like he's just because it's it looks really nice when the girls are doing it but there should be like

a dude version where he like puts in some like head and shoulders and he's like oh that's so disturbing because yeah because in the women's one there's like tropical birds flying she's like she is mother nature she's gaia she's eve in the garden of eden yeah whereas he would just be like a sailor sailor at sea for six months on a navy ship in the bathroom jacking off the advert just ends with him in the shower like with a cigarette like and that just yeah shows the product uh lombardi for men oh we shouldn't be associated with that dead oh god wasn't it lex shotgun blast who had his own uh no yeah who is it that had his own uh fragrance yeah i think that was lex what's that lex yeah he had his own fragrance with i think the catchphrase of the advert was is that so hard to believe i love it i miss lex shotgun blast

hopefully he makes a comeback yeah a bit like admiral floating gun yeah did he get promoted i thought he was a colonel yeah he did there's a star and a gun now floating. Pretty easy to spot now. That's right, Parker skipped town. He started working in oil fields and found a lady and got married. And if anyone recognized him on a job, he quit and found a new job. Wow, that's really kind of badass. Over time, the whole thing became a little muddy and less believable not only because of hickson's willingness to make money out of the whole thing and for years this

is where the story ended believers will believe that a ufo visited mississippi that day and skeptics will think that the two men lied and fabricated the whole thing for fame. We really didn't go much deeper into what they remember from their time on the craft. Because from the way the story was told, it seemed like they were pretty conscious of the process of being abducted onto the craft and whatever happened on that craft. But then the blackout, as it were, happened when they were basically beamed back to their fishing spot. Yeah. Yeah. Did they ever talk anymore about, like, what happened on the craft? Was there any experiments, any weird things that they saw, star maps, hieroglyphics?

It's a great question. The whole story is basically as long as i've described to both men it was an incredibly brief and hazy experience right they described losing all control of their bodies being essentially paralyzed one of them i think claimed that they were like i guess they injected us with something because i couldn't move and barely remember anything, which is why they don't really remember even boarding or exiting the craft. It's almost like if you hit your head and then memory started coming back to you over time. Right. You kind of can piece together what happened without being totally conscious.

It's a great point, though, because we've had stories in the past which are incredibly detailed where yeah like antonio villas boas i'm pretty sure he banged the alien uh we've had abductees try to steal shit from the craft and then get caught by the aliens yeah yeah the travis walton uh story that we did a classic two-parter, he went just walkabouts on the ship, saw a star map, tried to steal a book. And then I think a bunch of like human aliens knocked him out. Yeah. And sent him back to Earth. Yeah. So there is a big gap because then we also do have those stories of people who basically saw the craft blackout and they're just driving home and it's been like five hours and they don't know

what's going on i mean it's really hard to determine which is more realistic i mean there's something to this where you know it's like what we do to animals what do we do when we want to take them into the lab we shoot them with a dart gun from a distance they black out we take we go shit we've got 30 minutes till this son of a bitch wakes up yeah we do everything we need to and then we dump them i mean that bear probably thinks he was abducted by aliens he's going around telling all the other bears you're like you guys have no idea pointy nose pointy ears paws like little meat flaps. They couldn't scratch anything. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats.

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See app for details. Like I say, this is normally where the story ends until 2020 47 years later a new piece of evidence has emerged a man who worked as a police officer in the sheriff's office that parker and hickson went to who was on duty that night, came forward 47 years later, claiming that he fielded about 50 calls that night from people claiming to have seen something in the sky. He also revealed that that night, while interviewing Hickson and Parker, he had secretly recorded them using a voice-activated tape machine. What this means is we can actually listen to the unedited conversation

between Hickson and Parker that night in 1973 when all the officers had left the room. Wow. Did you say a voice-activated recording machine? Yes. How did he do that in secret? Because back then it was probably a giant computer just great to think of them in an interview room and it's like now boys if you

could just take a seat um this would be totally off the records uh no one here is going to activate recording i'm sorry recording activated are you are you recording this man no that was totally off the record um there's nothing else going on i think i can hear a tape sure i can hear a tape loop if you could just avoid talking in that direction it's actually pretty loud it's kind of hard to even talk over you just tell us about the gray tell us about the gray you saw right but is this on the record you're like i think i heard a man cough on the other side of that mirror uh yeah it seems a little advanced for the time sure but the fascinating thing here is that this will go one of two ways either the skeptics are right and once parker and hickson

have been left alone they're gonna break their act or we're about to hear the real testimonies from the men themselves to each other this is exciting So you can't get over it in a lifetime, see. Jesus Christ. And the mercy of God. I thought I had been through enough hell on this earth and now I have to go through something like that, see. I take for the, you know, I guess it's related to the farm and so on. They could have done anything to us if they didn't hurt me. Why did they just take that, see? I don't know. So I've just played you a tiny clip of what is actually an over half an hour of raw audio from that interview room. As you can tell, I don't know if you picked anything out.

Incredibly bad recording. Yeah, I'm going gonna need a transcript for that one i think because it's the 70s like i maybe heard hell on earth at one point seems like the uh this voice activated recorder was lodged somewhere like underneath their asses in the chair or something it seems like the kind of thing that was probably tried to be discreet but due to its size was probably under a comically large hat like an absurdly large hat i'm not surprised if that entire conversation was like all right can you tell me what you saw that night why is your hat so big never mind mind that. Is that a regulation hat? That seems really strange and enormous. Are you going to a wedding?

It's a giant hat. But I do have a transcript of a little bit of what we just heard. Jesus Christ. God have mercy. I thought I'd been through enough of hell on this earth and now got to go through something like this. See? But they could have, you know, I guess they, well, they could have harmed us, son.

They had us. They could have done anything to us, but they didn't hurt me. I'm one of the investigators who came into possession of this tape. He described, he was like, my hairs are standing up in the back of my neck because this is captured

the moment the officers have left the room, the moment the men could talk about anything, and they're saying to each other, we barely made it out alive. Yeah. What this tells us is that the men are not lying. Whether what is going on today is paranormal or not is up for debate, but the men were not bluffing.

Yeah, it seems like whatever happened, they genuinely believe that they were abducted by aliens. What are some of your thoughts about what's going on so far? We're seeing a lot of things we like here. We're seeing, you know, two guys when they're off camera still continuing with their story. This happened on a night where there were a number of other witnesses of ufos yeah there's just i don't know i'm missing the heart of this story i'm missing uh i'm missing that little bit that really pushes me over the edge i mean it is a little strange getting an agent to help you deal with the uh the press you're getting off the back of

an alien abduction i mean but then again we do have half of the party involved basically wanting to disappear completely which yeah you know that sweetens the pot a little bit i don't know this is a really weird one what a strange story it is and i think you hit the nail on the head before when you say you're missing the heart of the story and that is because what happened was so brief and lacks so much substance we have basically i mean a lot happened but basically these guys caught a fleeting glimpse of the most amazing thing to happen to a human ever yeah and now we have to decide whether it really happened or not yeah because even in the um other cases like the cash landrum case where the floating diamond came down it was a kind of a

similar story where there was a blackout period where they don't really remember what happened on the ship but uh afterwards you know people's hair fell out people had radiation poisoning there were physical consequences yeah they were also describing the physical properties of this craft in huge detail and it uh it left imprints in a lot of different parts of their lives this is a pretty clean cut case they came they abducted us they threw us back down and now we're here telling you it's a professional job yeah it's actually a pretty clean job. As always, and I would be remiss if I didn't mention them,

there are a couple of potential explanations for what happened that are not paranormal. Some people have suggested that the whole experience that Hickson described sounds like a waking dream state. The state right before sleep when you can experience hallucinations he claims to have been paralyzed by these things which could have just been a sleep paralysis even the way he described the ship as a bright blue light with its buzzing noise these are all apparently characteristics of a waking dream not to mention just one month after the abduction the men were on a tv game show and hickson said parker had been unconscious the entire time is it possible what what do you mean so hickson said that because hickson really took the lead in a lot of this and parker was the guy

who disappeared right and hickson claimed in that first month afterwards he said well that's partly because parker was like unconscious the whole time he was like i'm the one who kind of saw everything happen got it right i thought you said he was unconscious the entire time he was on the game show and i was like how is that even television? Why wouldn't somebody help him? They're taking me again. It's like, you can just say if you don't know the answer to the question. I feel them. They want me back.

All right. Question of the night. What do you call a warm drink popularly caffeinated and consumed across the countries? Question to Hickson. Oh, they're coming again for me oh i'm losing consciousness okay hickson we're gonna have to pass on the question if you don't know the answer i definitely know it i just oh do you guys not hear the buzzing oh yeah i would you have a buzzer and we don't hear it you haven't buzzed into a single question i definitely i want it on record that i know the question i probably could get it and i could probably actually win okay you got

five seconds we're gonna pass on the question oh bye oh i feel like these are unfair circumstances to put on your guests one you wanted me to lose mid-abduction over to parker sake man he's asleep okay back to Hickson. Barker is dunking himself in bleach. All right. Where'd he get that? The other possibility, my friend, is that they were both on LSD. Right. I guess that's the possibility of every single one of our cases. That's right.

It has been posited that, you you know the man described this hazy bizarre blinding lights crazy noises situation where they both eventually black out have a terrifying experience and wake up again uh seeming to have both shared some kind of trip whether it's physical or mental right um that could be maybe they didn't want to say that that's what they were doing out by the river that night yeah and you know maybe you could convince yourself maybe if you're them you could convince yourself that can have been the drugs i've smoked weed i know what drugs do that they drugs don't put you on an alien craft but maybe it did yeah that's a really good point that does seem like more of an extreme version of uh i don't know taking a substance like lsd usually you would

see something pretty weird not be 100 convinced you were taken to space on an alien craft um yeah but you know we've got an extraordinary case, which requires an extraordinary explanation. And extraordinary evidence, which we don't have. That's very true. The evidence portion of this case is lacking slightly. Yeah, I was sure I had more. But here we are. But, Rory, we mustn't mess around.

We've got to come down to a conclusion at the end of every show. What does this case say to you? Does it say paranormal or does it say not? I'm going to keep this one short and sweet. In cases like this, it is already tough to convince me and our audience as professional paranormal investigators that something like this took place if the two people involved are themselves disagreeing it seems like on the events that happened that's a big red flag for me getting an agent involved talking to uh newspapers going on game shows that's another red flag for me uh i don't think this case necessarily has the evidence that i need today uh to be convinced that it is

truly paranormal so i'm gonna it's gonna be a no it's gonna be a no for me more than fair i think sadly whenever i was researching this case and i reached j alan hynek the great hynek meister yeah when i reached his conclusion about this case I think something in the back of my mind knew that I too would think the same thing. I believe that these men experienced something terrifying and traumatizing. But he stopped short of saying that they experienced a UFO and a paranormal event. I do admire the optimism of opening the podcast with saying that this is the second most convincing i'll ask you to be more correct and accurate on the record i said famous i think you said most famous borderline if you don't believe this then right it's over you said i'm so i did say

that before we started before we the mic turn on the mics you're like i'm so convinced that you will say this is a double yes i bet my freaking you gave me the keys to your car bro but that was off the that was off the record that's not you gotta like i don't even need a car you gotta and you were like there's no way you're getting these keys there's no way you're getting this i don't want the keys i've tried to make this very clear listen i see you looking at the keys you're not getting them i don't want your car i was it was almost weird you don't want my car because it's a bad car you turn your nose up at the car you don't want my car it's a fine car you don't want a 1994 uh novelty uh colored clown car you don't want the clown car no it's all i could afford okay so i would appreciate if you don't

rag on the clown car i went to the dealership he said what's your budget and i said i'm a podcaster and he pointed me at the clown car but it gets me from a to well it doesn't because it breaks down all the time yeah it's i mean it's not even a good car i called you to pick me up on your electric scooter just uh just yesterday yeah so you're saying you don't want the car i don't want the car nobody should have that car it in. But I think he was more trying to make a joke about podcasting being a clown's profession. I don't think he ever even thought you were going to actually put an offer down on the clown car, which was quite generous, by the way, because I think on the bonnet, it said like four hundred and fifty dollars. Yeah. And you I think you've got a second mortgage.

Yeah. dollars yeah and you i think you've got a second mortgage yeah yeah i uh i hope my parents aren't listening because because this would be bad if they knew this but they uh recently paid off their mortgage on the family home they don't know that i remortgaged it right they've been paying that for 30 years i actually just remortgaged it and the problem is gambled some of it spent all the rest of it on the clown car the problem is is uh you know the clown car is only useful right when you know how to do the clown trick when you fit like 20 people in that thing i don't have that many friends we don't have that that that stage capability that clown know it all we can't fit i can't even fit in the damn thing i

have to sit on top of it yeah i've've had to actually learn a lot of yogic poses just to kind of suck all my internal organs into a tighter space just so I can sit in the front. And then it breaks down. Everyone ready to go? Right? All right, it's not started today. We're going to have to Uber.

We order Uber, a clown car comes. You've got to be kidding me with this. You order a Uber XS? There should just be like Uber everything. Uber scooter where someone just comes and picks you up. I thought you were just going to say like Uber shower. You just did a workout outside. A guy just comes and puts a shower head over

you or just like it's like i really need to shower you like search and it's like oh there's this dude will let me in and i can go use his shower so grim do you have any lombardi shampoo sir oh hey it all comes full circle boom it is a double no though seriously it is uh thank you so much to shabazz sayed and for tracer for sending that one in i loved investigating that one it was so close i was ready to say yes uh but it just wasn't happening but if you disagree remember to email us this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com with your thoughts with your opinions with more suggestions tracer we're looking at you We're looking for that home run, for that hat trick, the third episode.

Deliver the payload. We hope you have enjoyed this episode of This Paranormal Life. As always, if you cannot get enough of This Paranormal Life, remember to head on over to patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life, where for around five bucks a month,

you get access to a whole host of bonus episodes full length investigations that are too hot for tv above that at 20 bucks you can get your commune uniform to this paranormal life not a cult t-shirt i don't know why we have to keep saying it everyone knows at this point that it's definitely not it's like it's like a legal thing you'd be surprised when you when you're shipping around the world a lot of countries that i'll be honest have been told that we're a cult they want us to they need us to say it out loud we are right like a cult verbal declaration that we are not a cult we are not a cult we are definitely a cult not a sorry you got it on that third one but two out of three ain't that third one. But two out of three ain't bad. And that's the kind of thing that's messing us up.

Two out of three ain't bad. This is me at the airport security. All you had to do was say it three times. He tries traveling a business or pleasure cult activities. I mean, pleasure. I mean, sacrifice humans are just regular, regular pleasure. The guy's like, bro, I don don't care i'm in a cult too like yes brother you have to go through customs do you have anything to do to uh declare sir

cult or just no nothing nothing at all surely it's so easy to think of the word nothing no it's almost effort to yell cult on the flight would you like any drinks or refreshments or cult you have a cult diet there cult patreon is the place to go if you want to get more episodes of this paranormal life and support the show because we do not run advertisements and it's the only way we keep the show afloat advertisers we are we make our own money we make it we make from the from the people we're the podcast of the people i don't need your square space you're me undies you're friggin uh casper mattress fortunes we say what we want we do what we want and that's what makes this podcast great but if anyone out there

in supporting the patreon if they do have a casper mattress i would like it i need underwear as well i need fresh new underwear please so me actually me on these we don't have a website we can't cut this if any sponsors are out there and are interested in uh in in supporting the podcast we should blackmail sponsors and we'll say we're're going to badmouth you until you pay us. If you give us money. The sponsorship is we don't mention you because we're already badmouthing you. Yeah, and if you actually pay us a little extra, me undies,

we'll talk shit about Casper Mattresses. We'll badmouth other companies. They're like, we own all these companies. What? What? mouth other companies they're like we own all these companies what what this is me on the phone to uh one of the apple geniuses at the uh the apple bar if you pay me money i'll talk shit about airpods we own airpods the apple watch then home pod there's no way you own HomePod. And if you haven't tuned in for a while, you might have missed that we have launched a YouTube channel. Guys, that is where we are posting highlights.

This is the best of this paranormal life in video form with cameras facing our faces right now. Yeah. Captured for the first time, put on YouTube. So make sure to head on over to youtube.com forward slash this paranormal life hit that subscribe button hit that bell so you get notified whenever we drop a new video and check out the best bits and hang out in the comments you're going to want to see this video guys this is the video equivalent of scientists slamming a microscopic camera 200 feet into the hot ground and revealing the face of two prehistoric beetles that have never seen sunlight that's the kind of look that we've got

going on in the studio right here that's something you don't want to miss yeah that's something you don't want to miss at all and as always always, the links to everything, YouTube, Patreon, socials, the works are in the description of this podcast. So open your podcast app. Including my socials, actually. I'm going to throw mine in there. Really? Because we talk like a lot about like, oh, you know, support. That's kind of a good idea.

Support the YouTube channel. Support all this stuff. No. Support Rory Has Powers on Twitter okay that's where i because i want i actually need that me undies i need the me undies specifically you want it specifically i don't think that's how it works i didn't have to be part of the podcast sponsor the podcast i i just need underwear well if you're up for it yeah i'll i'll plug my own socials in there no we don't need to we don't need to because through mine like they'll probably find yours i don't want to like clutter i don't think so i don't think you have ever interacted

with me i interact with you a lot but you never actually like like her reply and i just like i'm already aware that like we'll have like our youtube and we'll have our patreon yeah and we'll have uh my probably tiktok instagram uh twitter account maybe my snapchat don't use that a lot rory has powers for all those so that's already like just put in one for me i'll just do like a smart url all of my socials in one much man we're talking like five characters that's messy you know what you guys i don't think that's messy everyone just follows me i'll like i'll just i'll do a tweet and be like hey here's kit and i'll just like even like tweet a picture of your face. Yeah. I mean. They could probably find you from that.

I've asked you to tweet a bunch of stuff about the podcast. I mean, I actually had a GoFundMe recently because I actually broke both my legs in a client car accident. Right. And I tweeted GoFundMe and I said, hey, bro, it would really help if you got this out to the commune because the commune don't know where I am. I've been trying to get them to find me, but they won't find me. And you said, no worries brother i believe i said no worries brother but honestly you don't have a

leg to stand on lol and then i didn't reply for several days yeah and you said you're going to donate to the campaign and uh well you didn't so i donated with a retweet that is currently in my drafts yeah because you didn't i didn't i haven't sent it yet but it's i've got it all typed out it's a retweet either so i didn't do the retweet you caught me all right i didn't even look at the tweet how are your legs by the way they look really swankled because i didn't get to go fund me that's fair all right all of my socials and then i guess like i don't know i'll link to the gofundme for your like your mangled mangled clown well it's too late they've set they've set in a bad position they're like backwards jays

you've been doing this podcast like lying on a therapist's couch the only thing they fit is the clown car i can't walk but I can drive the clown car all the links are in the friggin bio check them out it's all good and at the end of every episode we like to take the time to shout out those who supported us on Patreon

so let's go thank you to Joanna Williams come on down to Joanna Wills Yams any kind of yam you can imagine Joanna has Thank you to Joanna Williams. Come on down to Joanna Will's Yams. Any kind of yam you can imagine Joanna has in the warehouse. I didn't even know there was multiple types of yams. Multiple types of yams. There's a lot of yams.

Okay, you got sweet yams, salty yams. Actually, it's the same type, just cooked differently. Oh, I forgot. There's only one type of yam. Okay, so the exact opposite of one. And she is sold out, so wow. No yams. Thank you to Becca Towery. Becca will wreck ya.

This lady walks around with a sledgehammer the size of the Eiffel freaking tower. Just getting pleasure out of smashing whatever you have and whatever she can get her hands on. Jesus, that's aggressive. It's pretty rock and roll, I'm not going to lie. I think it's actually pretty cool. I'm into it. Wreck away. Thank you to Undead Smarty.

Kind of cool to have an Undead Smarty because usually the undead are not known for their brains on account of other people having eaten them. So to have a scholar of the undead... Wait a minute, the undead have... Not have... Have not have have have have not have of the undead... Wait a minute, the undead have... Not have... Have not have have have have not have had had their brains... You're undead!

Let me get a closer look at your skull. They have not had their brains eaten, right? Well, they're not very smart. Yeah, that's true. Why do they want to eat brains? Is that just the best bit of a human? Or do they want to get smarter? I don't know.

Yeah, because a lot of other human things eat. That's a pain in the ass to get to as well. It's basically the hardest thing to eat. Yeah. It's in a little case. That's a really good point. I'm glad that we don't see things from the perspective of zombies. That's good. That we don't see eye to eye on that.

Thank you to Ashley Jackson. Whoa, it's Smashly Ashley, the girl with the freaking shovel the size of the Eiffel Tower. Where are we getting these bonus sized tools? That's right. These two

ladies, they just go around smashing things. Which is pretty good, because you can kind of utilize them if you need to clear a building site or something. It needs to be knocked down. Or even a nuclear reactor or something. Yeah, hypothetically, like a glowing bunker if it needed to be taken down. These girls really come in handy. Good to know.

Thank you also to kiva dalton kiva dalton can weave a dolphin interesting i don't know what that means wait you know weaving yeah she weaves dolphins okay like little dolphins wait what the fuck does weaving mean do i have this right no but are they are they like alive i don't know what does weaving mean? Do I have this right? No, but are they like alive? I don't know. What does weaving mean? It's like knitting or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, I'm right. Yeah, she knits little dolphins. No, they're not real. They're like little toys. She can animate animals from fabric? No, you're getting the wrong end of the stick here. This is incredible. Kiva, we need to talk because there's actually...

We really don't. My beloved Fluffy passed away, and I would love if you could do something with Fluffy. She can't bring your dog back. I'm sorry. She could make you a little one. If she can do little dolphins, it sounds like she can bring Fluffy back.

We need to move on. Kiva, I've been waiting my whole life for this lifeline. So he just hearing that you existed... I'm sorry, Kiva. He's not getting it okay thank you to sarah beamish sarah beamish is pretty squeamish uh which you really don't want for the head surgeon at one of the most popular and um sought after hospitals in the world wow yeah it's not a good thing i think i heard of that that surgeon that's been passing out in the first five

seconds first slice it's pretty bad surgery she's got those like you know rock steady hands so it's it's pretty incredible the work she does but it has to be done in pretty much five minute uh periods because she just blacks out immediately at the first little sight of blood. That's a bad, you need a new job. Thank you to Dallas Varnum. Dallas lives in a palace, but no one, no one knows. He's been living

in a shed out the back of Buckingham Palace for a while. And he's hoping that the squatter's rights are going to kick in any minute

and he's going to own the bish as soon as the queen goes off on hauls. I wonder how long, I don't know how long squatter's rights need to kick in uh 90 years he's pretty he's pretty up there he might not actually get to enjoy the fruits of his labor um so we'll see it's a dice roll for sure good luck to you

buddy thank you to brady kelly whoa look out for mighty kelly two fists the size of the eiffel tower you're right brother interesting smash and everything they can get their giant hands are these women megazords or something how do they have fists the size of one of the largest landmarks in europe i'm just gonna say right off the bat they really weren't that angry or powerful until the arrival of the glowing bunker. It could be some side effects, but I'm glad to see they're kind of trying to harness their anger and power for good reasons, aka smashing things. Thank you also to Metafreak. You you know what they say meta in the streets freak in the beats oh uh meta freak lives in a beetroot patch oh no i thought you could say he's like a

dj or something like in the no no no he's been camping out squatter style okay another beetroot patch kind of a weird place when you think about it nothing to really earn or own yeah what are you claiming the what are you using as shelter the beets i mean pretty tasty or something but but i have a strange feeling they're gonna outlive us all. Thank you to Adam Burke. Adam twerk. He's got a butt that just won't quit. I mean, literally, this thing is shaking like a washing machine. Good God.

He cannot get it to stop. It's like one of those people that have been like hiccuping for 10 years. Oh, no. He's been twerking for 12 months straight. It's really affecting his social life and his sitting. So just best of luck to him, really. Wow. I hope it all twerks out. I'm sorry to hear that.

Thank you to Foolish Overlord. Look, there is not room for another Foolish Overlord in the Paranormal Commune. Those two positions have been filled. There's arguably one too many. We've already got two for Christ's sake. So if you could just join the others in the line for the gruel, that would be fantastic. Thank you.

He turns up to the commune day one. Jesus, I thought I was a foolish overlord. I'm a sensible, regular overlord by comparison. Thank you to Oren Douglas. Also known as Foreign Douglas. Because he's from the exotic world of Agartha.

That's right, the hollow earth, baby. That's about as foreign as it gets. It's pretty freaking weird. Let us in, dude. This is like me at the doors of agartha saying that i know a guy on the inside i'm like he can let he totally he said it was cool maybe i'll try and call him he's not picking up anymore straight to just hung up immediately there's no service in there it's totally totally makes sense uh but just texas get in touch man's like there's

service there's plenty in agartha there's service. There's plenty. In Agartha, there's service. Thank you to Jordan Artis. Jordan Artis is an important artist, which is why we need him in the commune. The walls are a little bare. The walls are a bit missing in parts, actually, on account of the nuclear explosion that devastated the area. So we need a little art to cheer up the people. That's true. That's true.

If we could just maybe not mention the explosion. It was a controlled detonation. It was an explosion of culture is what it was. If Jordan has anything to say on the matter. Great. Nice twist. Jordan, we just ask that you don't actually paint anything that's going on. It's going to be a bit depressing. Yeah.

Yeah. We don't want it to be like a mural uh that kind of like depicts the living conditions of paranormal commune we very much want it to be uh commune propaganda that would be great did i say that out loud thank you to sherwin klein sure when i'm inclined to offer you a pretty sweet deal on a pretty tiny car but the mileage is borderline non-existent. This thing has barely driven a mile in its lifetime. Can it drive a mile? Up for debate.

It's a very good question. It has been, despite going nowhere, it has been in one devastating crash. In which the driver did not come out well. Pointing to exhibit me. See link regarding GoFundMe. But you know what they say, my friend. The insurance company says lightning doesn't hit the same place twice. So you're going to want to pick up on this sweet deal ASAP.

Thank you to Thomas Hecht. Thomas Hecht can always deflect bullets arrows questions that is a skill that we definitely need here at the paranormal commune is the uh the unwavering ability to deflect questions so if you are interested in joining and you can teach us some of your skills we'd really appreciate that Thomas you're chief propaganda officer to team up with our artist friend to really

start making up shit thank you to Victoria King Victoria we're just going to need you just to keep that last name on the DL because we don't want anyone getting any crazy ideas about the one true king who's going to there's been a lot of talk about the savior of the commune and uh how that's not us uh which is pretty galling yeah um so we just don't want anyone getting any ideas about some

kind of some kind of messiah figure we're gonna just change that name which granted you do fit the prophecy you do absolutely in every description of you you are the chosen one yeah we shouldn't have had that mural painted because it's really it's pretty heavy on the messiah part of the prophecy and not the actually pretty dope living quarters that we built to start the place thank you to chloe house and chloe who has now of course been nicknamed glowy chloe on account of being in the bunker when the uh controlled explosion took place oh dear uh she is bright green she is almost blinding i think it it is it is dangerous to even look at her um she she she needs an eye mask to sleep at night on account of her own blinding presence which is actually sounds kind of beautiful. It's a painful existence, but it sounds pretty beautiful So I hope you're doing good. Thank you lastly, but not leastly to Darius Aitkenhead

Darius, I think I'm gonna marry Chloe Will you marry us Darius? She is literally the light of my life Because I saw her and i saw no more so uh if you could just darius just walk me up to the uh the altar and don't look at her yeah you too will go blind and if you i mean i bought a ring but i mean jesus the whole thing is gonna melt if you put it anywhere nearer so maybe just i don't know smile or like wave at her or something that can be like i don't i can't because we can't also you can't even do like you may now kiss the bride right because i will cook in her beauty and radioactive but it'll be the happiest and last

day of your life. Yeah, it's going to be great, Darius. Thank you to everyone we've shouted out today and everyone we are yet to shout out. Thank you for being so patient. We are getting through our list of names. We will be back next Tuesday, as always,

with a brand new paranormal tale. We'll see you then.