This Paranormal Life - #199 Voronezh - The Weirdest Russian UFO Case

Episode Date: February 10, 2021

We've investigated a lot of UFO cases on the show before but none quite as strange as the Voronezh Alien encounter. This week Kit and Rory venture to Russia in 1989 to uncover one of the countries greatest mysteries.Patreonhttps://patreon.com/ThisParanormalLifeYouTubehttps://youtube.com/thisparanormallifeTwitterhttps://twitter.com/ThisParaLifeInstagramhttps://instagram.com/thisparanormallifeSecret Society Facebook Pagehttps://www.facebook.com/groups/thisparanormallife/Edited by Kami Tomanhttps://tomanedits.comResearch by Amy GrisdaleIntro music: https://www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are we just meat puppets being walked about by skeletons? Why is soap so slippery? All of these questions you can find the answer to on THIS PARANORMAL LIFE! AHHHHH! Welcome everyone to This Paranormal Life, the comedy paranormal podcast where every week myself and this guy, Kit Greer, investigate a brand new paranormal case and come to a conclusion within the hour as to whether or not it is truly paranormal. As you can tell today, I am just exploding with paranormal rage.

How are you doing, Kit? Are you feeling this energy in the studio today? I don't know about exploding with paranormal rage, but I'm excited. Okay, that's along similar lines. I mean, are you angry about something to about exploding the paranormal rage, but I'm excited. Okay. That's a long, similar line. I mean, are you angry about something to do with the paranormal? I'm angry that the case that I have for us today hasn't been talked about more. I'm fired up. Wow. So this is a never before featured on the cast kind of investigation.

We've never seen the likes of a case like this this case goes this is this case is the equivalent to one of those rides at theme parks that go zero to a hundred miles per hour in like point of a second is that is that a ride at a theme park yeah it's a ride it sounds like you got in a guy's car a guy's really fast car yeah this story that we have today is is one that i've thought about doing for a long time i'll be honest with you but it's a difficult one it's a difficult one because usually on this podcast there's a structure to our paranormal stories we have oh an object was seen in the sky there was a glint of an of an alien's head seen around a corner this story it blows all that out of the water you need to buckle up

hold on because it's going to be a bumpy ride holy shit this is a ghost train at a theme park but the ghosts aren't animatronics and they're not tethered to machines they'll come out and they'll slap you around a bit take your wallet shank you with a pair of car keys ladies and gentlemen instead of a normal uh typed out script roy just has a kind of car keys. Ladies and gentlemen, instead of a normal typed out script, Roy just has a kind of Jackson Pollock-esque painting in front of him. He's apparently going to try and read the story from. I have the conclusion tattooed on my ass. So I'm going to need your help and a mirror to really reel it in.

Look, folks, we don't like to dilly dally at the top of the podcast. We need to get straight into this one. Let's go. It was a warm summer evening in Soviet Russia. The date was September 27th, 1989, and a gang of schoolchildren were out playing football in a nearby park. As darkness drew in, the children started saying their goodbyes before heading home. As the kids filed out of the park,

one boy stood with his eyes fixed to the sky. Up in the clouds, he could see a strange pink object. What the heck was it? He called out, Comrades, come look upon this unusual light in the sky. It seems like it is coming closer. The rest of the children gazed upward and saw what had now become a large deep red ball floating towards the park as the orb descended the children were blasted by the winds that shook the surrounding trees holy moly until the object stopped hovering 40 feet above their heads all right it's not an asteroid then, is it? No, it's just going to stop midair.

That or the boy has telekinetic abilities. Right. Like Magneto, he's just holding it in the air. The boys watched as this 10-meter-long flying ball floated above them. Then suddenly, a hatch at the base slowly crept open. Oh, jeez. This is escalating very quickly for this part of the life standards. I warned you.

Normally, we'd be in part two. It would be a week later before we see any kind of hatch opening. Zero time to set up the scene. You don't even know the kids' f***ing names. You're lucky I told you the year because time is irrelevant. We're moving so fast. Three paragraphs from now, they're going to be on a different planet. These boys will be old men. The hatch opened up, and in the gap, the children could see a figure leering down at them. The creature was dressed in a shiny silver with a dome-like head and three eyes. Wow. Before they could get a decent look, the hatch slam closed.

What? And the craft began to descend even further. Apparently on the way it did accidentally reverse into a tree on the way down. Really? But then it stabilized and settled down like a pro. This is an intergalactic joyride if you will. They might not have trees where they're from. Maybe they don't know. Maybe they've got to adjust to the gravity. There's a lot of factors at play here. Maybe they've never seen a child. They're like, oh, f***.

Even on our planet, there are experiences which are quite hard to just rock up and do. I mean, even when people want to, I don't know, speak in front of a thousand people, they've got to put in tons of hours of practice so they don't just say gobbledygook up there. Imagine going to another planet and have to, it's scary enough going to another country to drive your car, let alone another galaxy. Yeah. Do you think there were aliens on the moon,

like watching the moon landing? And as it's, you know, gracefully coming down, just beautifully kissing the surface of the moon, there were some aliens being like what the f**k are they doing this is taking like 45 minutes to get down here this is nuts neil armstrong walks out they're like why the f**k is he walking like that he's walking he's walking weird isn't he as the orb extended its four long legs it landed in the park the children began to gather around it, unaware of the danger they were in. The hatch of the craft opened at the base once more, but this time, it wouldn't close. These children were about to have their lives changed forever.

Jesus. Out of the craft climbed a huge, towering humanoid, ten feet tall, with a dome-shaped head donning three eyes. The middle eye glowed red and constantly scanned back and forward. Whoa. Isn't this insane? I don't like that. Following this humanoid was a small square robot that looked like a cube with arms and legs. Okay, that's adorable.

I'm going to need gonna see the artist's interpretation there are pictures coming so stay tuned for that oh yeah and then of course the third humanoid a silver like man with a disc shape in his chest after a short period the tall humanoid began speaking a garbled language to the cube robot i'm gonna do my best impersonation of a garbled alien language that was suspiciously good i'll say what's under that atlanta braves baseball cap after all rory a glowing red eye i never noticed that little cube you carry around with you i always thought you were holding an iphone turns out it's a little guy. Suddenly, a glowing rectangle appeared on the grass in front of them before flickering away. The creature then started poking round with the buttons on the robot's chest. The children couldn't believe what they were seeing. They were frozen on the spot in fear

and disbelief. What were these strange creatures? What if they were getting ready to attack? Maybe if they just remained quiet, these things would go away. but one boy couldn't hold it in anymore i began to scream there's always one there's always a screamer imagine you were going through the woods hunting for bigfoot and one guy just loses his nerve starts screaming i know it's not gonna take kindly to that you just know as well before the hunt they're out at the corners of the woods being like all right we got the night vision cameras you uh dave you got the tranquilizer guns claire you got the recorder everything ready to go steve are you gonna scream this time no i was i'm gonna be well behaved just because last time we was the closest we've ever been.

We were tracking the mother****** for six days. Yeah, for six days. It was really cold. And back then, you said you weren't going to scream. No, right. But I had a lot going on in my life back then. I know, but you have to understand, when we go in the woods... I wasn't very emotional.

When we go in the woods... I wasn't very emotional. I'm still a little emotional about it, to be honest. Let me speak, goddammit. When we go in the woods, it needs to very emotional play. I'm still a little emotional about it, to be honest. Let me speak, goddammit. When we go in the woods, it needs to be all business. Scream, scream now. You son of a bitch. Scream as much as you want.

I can't. What do you mean you... I'm not scared yet. All right, well, look. This is the point that I'm trying to bring up. If you think you're going to be scared in the woods, which it sounds like you are. Well, I'm a little scared already. Maybe sit this one out then, because I don't want to have a similar situation where we're face to face with the monster.

And you give up our position with a screen. It's not going to happen this time. Okay. You know why? Why? Because I'm going to do it internally. I've been practicing. Okay.

All right, guys, that's the best we're going to do. Let's just head out, see what we can find in the woods. Two seconds into the investigation. I think... Is that him over there? Damn it, Steve! That is external! External!

But God damn it, he's the best survivalist the woods has ever seen. Why don't we bring him? When the child started screaming, the tall humanoid immediately stared at him his eyes pulsing red in an instant the boy became paralyzed frozen on the spot holy moly mid-scream to an alien this was probably a pretty chill way of handling the situation you know that creature is making noise i'm gonna paralyze him with my eye now he won't make any noise and everything's gone back to normal but when you paralyze a child with your third eye that's not gonna help the other the other children might start screaming too which is exactly what happened these other kids freak out

one of the other kids began screaming and panicking. So the tall humanoid returned to the ship and came back holding what looked like a metal pipe. Which I kind of love. He's just like, all right, all right. You're going to make a noise. You're going to make a fuss about my eye freezing. You're getting the pipe. You kids are getting the pipe.

You're getting the space pipe. Very quickly gone from intergalactic alien tactics to vigilante justice right yeah they're going to be silenced one way or another i like the way he calls it the space pipe as well like it has some special abilities it's just a pipe from space you don't think they have pipes in space there's space pipes the humanoid held the pipe like a gun and pointed it at a child who was beginning to panic. Immediately, the child vanished. What? No!

Gone. Wow. Mother f***er blinked out of existence. Maybe these space pipes are a little more special than the Earth pipes. The alien's like, yeah, you lost your paralyzing privileges. First kid gets paralyzed paralyzed second kid gets shadow realm i know also what the thought process behind like that'll keep them all chill i'll make one of them avada kedavra the f out of here it's like listen be chill be calm we come in

peace be chill i'll set fire to your homes he burns all of all the buildings down the area comes back with a space hammer like this won't make you disappear but it'll make you wish you disappeared it's the one alien that didn't get the de-escalation training that all the other aliens got i guess it look it kind of makes sense, you know, to them, it's basically like them going into the wilderness and being confronted with, you know, a honey badger, a bunch of little honey badgers, you know, they're probably in a similar way we have to when we like meet bears. There's all these tricks like, you know, make yourself as big as possible, I believe, with a bear, or maybe it's curl up in a ball. Those are very contradictory. I should learn which one it is. You should.

Which one do I punch in the nose? We can't go through this again. Okay. Well, I know with tigers, you are not supposed to break eye contact. Is that true? Yes, because people even wear masks on the back of their heads

so that if you see a tiger, you can turn your back on it and slowly walk away and it thinks you're still looking at it is that right yeah wow what is it for lions never make eye contact show them the goddamn respect they deserve you have to bow to them like simba probably but my point being is yeah, there are these rules that help you in the wilderness when you're faced with these wild creatures. But if I also had a pipe that made a bear disappear, I'd probably use the pipe, the magic pipe.

So these guys, they're just probably doing things by the alien textbook. They show up and they're like, hey, if you come across some wild humans, paralyze them with your third eye if that doesn't work use the pipe yeah there's no real consequences i mean even if they have to kill countless children on their expedition to earth you know it's uh it's like smooshing flies to them doesn't mean anything exactly you think you know thanos has to with the the gauntlet yeah has to practice you know um how to placate children on other planets no snap they're gone yeah you say one word out of line you haven't been spoken to thanos would snap thanos would use the space pipe to just hit the children. He doesn't even use it to make them disappear. These guys are kind of built like Thanos.

They're huge, muscly, weird creatures. Really? But with these dome-like heads. At this point, obviously, the kids are losing it. They just watched one of their schoolyard bullies disappear into thin air. The creatures from the craft seem like they've had enough and begin to stroll back to the orb once inside the hatch seals over and the craft takes off into the sky that was it that was it why did they disappear then why did they kill the children i love the idea that they arrived

in this schoolyard like take me to your leader and they're well, I don't know. Alexei is the schoolyard bully. I guess we'll take you to him. He kind of runs shit. Yeah. They're like, ah, Alexei, hand over Earth. It just vaporizes him instantly. We are the kings of this planet now. Goodbye.

And just leave. Yeah, it's a bit weird. Planet conquered. I think they, i don't know what they did it said they they poked around in the ground a little bit okay they punched some holes on the little robot's chest uh a cube appeared flickered for a little bit and then they just left hmm who knows what they were doing but it's interesting to note that as the craft disappeared into the distance, the boy who had been banished reappeared as if he was never gone. Oh, in the same location?

Yeah. Interesting. They just took off and he just went straight back just to existing again. You know he's going to be real quiet from now on. Exactly. He doesn't talk about what happened in the in the shadow realm yeah one being space piped changes a man it really does he's gonna say his pleases and thank yous from now on no talking back to teachers the case became an overnight sensation newspapers all over the world

were running tell all stories with headlines like football with aliens the children who witnessed the event were questioned by the police who let's face it probably were very skeptical about their claims even pretty boilerplate ufo claims are highly scrutinized if they had just said that they'd seen a craft you take that with a pinch of salt yes if they said they saw anything floating around in the sky there could be a lot of different explanations for that but if these kids are saying my friend got piped by an alien they had a little don't say he got piped all right don't tell anyone you got piped by an alien that's poorly worded there's probably a better way to word that he got jazzed by an alien okay still not great though is it space pipe okay no no no uh this is the

news anchor live on air how do i say this the kid got uh what's the english the alien jizz jazz magic made him go by. All over kids. The boss is like, cut the f***. Cut the cameras. No, no, no. I'm messing up. This kid, he took the pipe. It makes sense to be skeptical about a case like this.

But when the children were brought into separate rooms and asked to draw the creatures that they had seen that day, the officers couldn't believe what they were seeing. Each child drew the exact same thing. The tall humanoid with the three eyes, the little robot, the silver man. All the details were the same. Wow. This is the classic take them into different rooms, ask them the same questions, see what the answers are. Yeah. And, you know, I could understand how there could be similarities in a lot of cases where someone claims they saw an alien. Yeah. When the alien looks like your cliche, bug-eyed, gray, weird, long-headed alien. You know, the little generic Hollywood ones.

You can already tell from this story, that's not what these creatures are going to look like. No. The children did these illustrations. They all look the same. I have with me now the artist's interpretation of the children's stories. But this is essentially what the kids drew. Take a look at these guys.

Very excited about this. Whoa! Holy moly. Okay, let's go in. I've never seen such interesting aliens in my life. This looks like, yeah. I want them to have a netflix series yeah they look like enemies in like fallout 4 or some shit okay we'll go in order of appearance here folks the main alien uh who kind

of leads the pack we're talking the mountain from game of thrones with jabba the hut for a head that's fair um followed closely by you know i was imagining something a lot more Disney Pixar for our little robot friend. I was imagining some BB-8 looking droid. Right. This is... They're not even trying with this guy. This is a ventilation unit with human arms and legs. It looks like something Sid would make from toy story one

like he sewed the arms and legs of a doll onto a rubik's cube and then maybe the most human of all is the guy in a silver space suit with a humanoid yet kind of disturbingly featureless face yeah and then just a kind of black hole void of a circle in his chest um not sure what he looks like really god what do you make of all these i mean i don't know this is one of the things that drew me to this case was you know just as a ufo story it's not the most captivating but um as soon as i started hearing the descriptions of these alleged aliens that came forward i mean look he's holding the space pipe i didn't even notice it's just a pipe it there's nothing else on it it is literally just a metal tube which is kind of funny because the alien himself other than his like i say jabba the hut head he does look a bit like he could be like a school

groundskeeper yeah he's he's just like wearing overalls it's it's insanely bizarre as i said the character design is so awesome i really want them to have like an animated series yeah i think this story has become so popular that at one point there was even a range of Japanese toys of all of these creatures. Wow. Isn't that cool? That's kind of neat. Yeah. I wonder is that because, I mean, they didn't feature heavily in my childhood, I have to be honest.

What, these guys? Maybe they didn't make it to Britain. But maybe, like, Japan, you kind of forget forget is right beside some of Russia. I wanted to just make the news over there. It's hard. These guys had a lot of competition, I guess, back in the days. You know, when you got the Power Rangers with the Megazord and the ability to shapeshift into basically animatronic dinosaurs. That's pretty cool.

You got the biker mice from Mars. You got street sharks they they ate concrete that's what they did whereas like this guy he looks like a marshmallow holding a pipe yeah and then the robot is just a cube with arms and legs i mean if he brought a kid to a toy store he's not gonna be like i want pipe man yeah i mean i want the red ranger there's even not a lot of story there is there i mean at least the teenage mutant ninja turtles we knew what they wanted they wanted pizza and justice yeah but uh if you ask the store clerk what's the history behind these guys you'd be like uh that one killed a child

this one can't speak and i don't know what he does and uh the other one has a black hole in his chest you can see why they never got that animated series yeah but look we've been doing this podcast for a long time and time and time again we have to ask the big question do we trust children they're small they're weak honestly i don't even know where they friggin come from. Glad I was never one. A story even as convincing as this could be a figment of their imagination. But luckily, it's not just the children making these claims. When the news story was released, more and more people started coming forward saying that they had seen the exact same craft in the sky around that time. Wow.

In the end, over 40 adults claimed that they had also seen the spaceship, including one police officer. So you know it's real. This is where we're getting our credible witnesses, folks. Yes. I was just stargazing one night, a craft flew by, and someone conked me on the head with a pipe they threw out the window. Lieutenant Sergei Matveev confessed that while he had not actually seen the aliens, he had seen the spaceship, which he described as a body flying in the sky, moving silently at very high speed and very low altitude. moving silently at very high speed and very low altitude.

He went on to say, When I first saw the object, I thought, I must be really tired. But I rubbed my eyes and it didn't go away. Then I figured, in this day and age, anything is possible. I mean, he's not wrong. Yeah, kind of getting away from the important part, which was seeing the aliens. These stupid electric cars. Anything is possible. It sounds like he saw an alien craft and was blown away, but went really off the rails into being like, made me think like anything is possible.

You know, aliens do exist. We aren't alone in this universe. And I should leave Claireire if i'm not happy life is short who knows what else is out there in the world no no the rest of the world is exactly the same of course the exact same as uh you last saw it of course but like a dream like anything could happen like maybe i am not real maybe i am a turtle no no maybe i am a turtle no no no not a dream it's probably a weather balloon, if anything. Of course.

But if not a balloon, intelligent life form. No, no, no. Probably. I mean, actually, we're getting a report. Yeah. I think it was like a remote control airplane or something. Of course. A remote control airplane from another galaxy.

And I should sell my possessions and move to america and make it on the big screen i think you should just do whatever you want it sounds that you're incredibly strong-willed he just wanders off into the horizon and then i will go to space and then i will go here the thing that's kind of interesting about his report is that i like that he says it was at incredibly low altitude. Yeah. I'm sure like many people, whenever I hear these stories of the thing moving silently at incredible speed across the sky, I think that's probably an asteroid or a shooting star. Who else does that? Birds.

So you got to be careful, folks. Well, they're not totally silent, are they? That's true. Sometimes they squawk. The spaceship went by. Chup, chup, chup they squawk the spaceship went by it shat on my head his beautiful beast but i love the idea that yeah it's so low you can actually make out that it's a craft yeah and a lot of people went as far as to match the description of the craft that the boys had seen so it wasn't just i kind of thought i saw something they were like mother i saw a red orb going through the sky the same thing after this the

case was taken so seriously that the interior ministry said that they would dispatch troops to the area should the craft reappear i mean fair enough that guy is an absolute hazard with his pipe yeah the government dispatched a team of scientists from a geophysical laboratory to analyze the site in my head i'm imagining like military jeeps rolling in the barbed wire fences going up kids are showing up to football practice you know being like hey we had the park booked for football practice this evening and you know there's like a uh colonel in a in a chair with his feet up and a big cigar being like not anymore you don't children he pops the ball with his cigar exactly this is now under american no wait no this is now under russian jurisdiction. Very confused, General. Shit.

With the site on lockdown, all of Vranesh waited to hear what the team could find. Was it really the site of a UFO encounter? The first thing the scientists discovered was several craters in the park, each leaving deep indentations in the grass. They took soil samples, tested radiation levels, and looked for anything out of the ordinary and they found something kid firstly the area was found to have an above average presence of the radioactive isotope cesium the team also that's not good yeah for

the school children i know even if that wasn't caused by a UFO, that's a big problem. Probably shouldn't be letting their kids play out in a cesium minefield. Yeah, don't keep that research classified. Tell someone at the very least. Did that kid really disappear, or did he faint? The team also discovered two rock fragments that they initially thought were sandstone. But after a mineralogical examination the team concluded that the rocks couldn't possibly have originated on earth what that's

right my friend oh it's all fun to have a little laugh with the alien in the metal pipe but when the space rocks start coming down and the cesium is off the f***ing charts. It's not all fun and games anymore, is it? So, for us to all understand that, repeat that bit. The rocks are not from Earth. They ain't from Earth. When the official news reports were released from a government-backed newspaper, the lead scientist said, The physical evidence myself and my team have collected

matched the witnesses' perfectly using bio location tracking I can confirm a UFO was in the park that night What this is not where I was expecting this to go. It's nuts, isn't it? I was expecting a good old-fashioned Soviet era Iron Curtain cover-up exactly You know you wait so we cannot let the West know. We cannot let America know that we don't know what's going on. What if it was American technologies? American astronauts testing themselves in the Russian country?

We need to pretend this never happened. They cannot know that anyone was here. And you know where else the levels of cesium are high, Rory? No, I don't actually. I don't even know what cesium was, so... In your morning bowl of Chompy's Forks. Okay. This episode is brought to you by Chompy's North

Korea's favorite cereal, favorite breakfast cereal. Proud sponsor of This Paranormal Life. Oh, yeah. And I wish I were joking about the cesium levels. It's not healthy, but what breakfast cereal ever is, you know? You know what else couldn't have originated on Earth? The refreshing deliciousness of Chompy's. Also, a couple of the ingredients mentioned on the back of the box.

You know, most cereals out there, they're packed full of preservatives, colors, carbs, sugars, glucose syrups, whatever it is. talking zero carbs zero sugars zero preservatives because these are a hundred percent cesium rocks rocks of radioactive material oh yeah and the the toy inside a bag of cesium to sprinkle on top of your cesium i really want to look up what cesium is now i think it's just a naturally occurring radioactive element isn't it is it yeah pretty sure i don't know cesium is a chemical element oh it's only one of five elemental metals that are liquid at room temperature that's cool that's pretty pretty cool so kind of like mercury or something yeah so you're gonna want to keep your chompy's ice cold my friends or else it will

just kind of melt into a puddle in front of you did we say powdered seasoning we meant little a little syrup topper could you imagine getting a box of cereal opening up and pouring into a bowl liquid metal yeah just like it's like pouring the terminator into a bowl you'd be like i knew the food standards had gone to shit since brexit we're trying to keep this north korean stuff out but not chompy's folks make sure and uh get your cereal subscription today stock up stock up it's the only uh it's the only cereal that is apocalypse proof because it's already radioactive. I will say the scientists did say that using biolocation tracking, they can confirm a UFO was in the park that night. When asked what biolocation tracking was, he refused to answer.

So that's how top secret this shit is they're doing here. Okay, because it's what, the 80s? Yeah, I believe so. This story is an interesting one when i kind of read up a little bit more about like the time period in which this took place i think this was during a period of experimental openness with the public okay especially in russia at the time where it was like any like it was truth first truth above everything whatever got reported the facts were presented. There was zero secrecy. Which, by the way, is a great lie to tell.

It really is, yeah. Guys, last week and all up to now, we've been lying. But from now on, it's the truth. Just the truth. How do we know you're telling the truth right now? You've got to trust me, bro. Space pipe him. Get him out of here.

right now you gotta trust me bro space pipe them get them out of here so yeah i thought it was pretty surprising that the uh that the russian government were so open about something like this yeah it's it's a little bit reminiscent of the initial minutes and hours of the roswell incident where people authorities came out right away and said it's a ufo and then quickly changed its status to it's not a ufo yeah and then subsequently it was a weather balloon i will say the refreshing thing about this case is that story has never really changed if anything people have just doubled down yeah no one's gone back and changed their opinions on what happened it's always firmly been a ufo landed here that's cool yeah the monkey's out of the bottle. Why try and put it back in?

Now, not only had the children encountered these aliens, over 40 people had witnessed the craft, a team of scientists had confirmed it landed there, and the official government-run channels were stating outright that a UFO had landed on Russian soil. The people of Voronezh defend this story to this day whenever witnesses are interviewed for news segments or documentaries they always double down on their stories some accounts have gotten a little hazy sure but even those who have difficulty remembering

the minor details maintain the fact that they definitely saw something that day. Okay. Wow. That's so fascinating to think that you could just turn up in that time today, go to a local bar and just start asking about that moment in history. And you would probably get pointed in the direction of someone who could tell you about it to this day. Yeah. I mean, I saw TV interviews with some of the kids that had seen the aliens. Right, because what age were they when it happened? Bro, maybe like 10 or so. They're alive to this day. Yeah, they're only whatever that is, 40 years old now.

Annoyingly, hunting for it, the only news reports and interviews I could find were all in either Russian or French. Okay. Couldn't find anything in English, so I couldn't bring it onto the podcast. But it's all there, folks. It's all online. And I know that we hear a lot about UFO sightings across America all the time, but it might surprise you to know

that Russia has long been a hotbed for UFO activity. Bloody massive, isn't it? It is. If anyone's going to see it, just by odds alone, that pisses me off. All right. I don't know if we talked about this in the podcast before. Sorry, before you get started, though, I just, we are against the clock a little bit because

we're running late. So I know you were like, that pisses me off. But yeah. And well, I guess I don't, it's not that I need to talk about it. I'm not even that mad, but. Okay. If you could sum it up in one sentence, whatever's annoying you, or like a couple of lines, and then I'll just move on to this bit here because I got a bunch of dates to get through.

Yeah. And actually, now that you're telling me that we don't have time to do it, the rage is increasing. Okay. The anger is rising. Am I now? I don't know that I'm going to be able to. I think my grudge with you is probably longer than one sentence. All right.

We're already kind of running along here. Well, let's start there. Okay. How dare you tell me what i can and can't say it pisses me off when i watch movies and the aliens always land in north america no they don't they never land in canada what what am i saying they always land in the usa right right right as if if you just spin a globe and you've never seen Earth before. And by the way, you can't see the lines of the countries.

I know. That you would just, out of all of the map of Earth, you go, yeah, New York City. That's for me, baby. Yeah. A tiny, like, f***ing island on the East Coast. Isn't that so funny? It's not even probably the optimal location for life on the planet yeah it's probably polluted the air quality is bad overpopulated like i mean

if you had to i mean you're gonna go to africa it's the big one i know there's no middle to the earth but on our maps it's the middle of the world it's massive uh the The sheer audacity for the human race to think that when aliens turn up, they're going to go, I'm going to the White House. I'm going to the, I'm going to meet the president of America. As if that's like king of the world. It's such bullshit, isn't it? And like, yeah, it's like, oh, how will they know that? It's like, well, it's in like how will they know that it's like well it's in like a big city oh like la or new york nah nah one of the smaller ones how are the aliens

supposed to know where washington dc is or whatever the f**k it's insane yeah see now that fires me up too now now you got me pissed off i want to see a movie if anyone knows of a movie please email or comment us i want to see the movie where they go to i mean if they're just looking for a big building or something yeah i don't know where they end up at the the taj mahal or the pyramids or i don't know what exactly we're both getting fired up here you know we're on the same page but these these movies are bad representations why are they always going to america why don't they go to these other locations on earth why does no one ever try to have sex with the aliens i mean we're on the same page about this stuff right and these are

the things we get we need to get fired up about and make a point of that someone's gonna you're gonna try and kiss one at least no when it shows up i think that's a completely separate issue and i and i would like it to be struck from the record that I never said that. Absolutely not, man. Very much Rory. It's Rory's agenda. You're getting fired up about this. I'm getting fired up about this.

No, no, no. Mine is just about this specific thing. I don't like that they always go to the White House. You're the one. It's the first thing you think about. You said you wanted to kiss the alien. You got to find out how these motherfuckers think. I could almost understand wanting to have sex with the alien because that's more scientific than wanting to kiss them yeah well i don't want to make i don't want to make

love to someone if i don't love them so it's like you want to like you want to see you know oh how many eyes do they have how many do they have more than one heart would they be forgiving would they be caring would they would they love me you know that's the sort of thing if they had more than one heart they would be more loving than a human that's where it comes from dumbass so i think look i think what we need to do together is is write a letter to big hollywood and address this i'll type the letter for you all right and sign your name at the bottom yeah and give your return address on the back of the letter cool if that will make you happy if you could just sign it with my name there's no way i'm gonna sorry yeah greer no no what does that achieve just it's

not a hard i have a cousin called rory career by the way so that's gonna be very confusing look it's not a hard letter to write all right dear hollywood why can't i f**k an alien you're sincerely kit why put my name on it because i don't letter to write, all right? Dear Hollywood, why can't I f*** an alien? Yours sincerely, Kit. Why put my name on it? Because I don't want to be associated with that. Some people out there in the world think it's kind of weird. Isn't that a red flag? That if your idea is so purr that you wouldn't even sign a letter using your own name?

I just think if someone were to get the ball rolling, I just need someone to start the conversation. And then I can swoop in and i'll champion the halfway bud how about i write the letter i put my name at the bottom but the contents of the letter say we want more realistic representation of how aliens alien would behave on no i'm not i'm not writing the word boobs okay to uh president joseph biden tits also i forgot where the letters go it's not going to biden it's going to hollywood it's going to big hollywood and suddenly i'm going to the white house for some reason dear biden you take biden i'll take big hollywood why why do yeah you take steven spielberg i'll take Biden, and together we'll destroy America.

Yeah, we want to be marching up and down Hollywood Boulevard. Alien honkers have looked f***ed up on screen for too long. All right, all right, let's get back on track. We rambled for long enough. We need to get through the facts. Let's go. 1969, hundreds of town people saw a flying disc near an electro signal plant. Let's go. Interesting. with a platform hanging beneath it. 1975, residents of the village of Gribanova saw a flying object shaped like a hat.

1980, two military men saw a bright ray in the sky followed by a huge aircraft 120 meters long. Wow, that's a big one. They saw it land in a field, but when they reported it to their superiors, they were sent away for mental examination. That's pretty damn cool, though. I like that. I mean. That's a big one.

You know, I wouldn't want to see like a little X-Wing or a TIE fighter size thing. I want to see a Star Destroyer. The big, a Death Star. I wanted to think it's a second moon. Yeah. 1982, passengers on a bus saw a 20 meter column of fire descend from the sky and hit the road in front of them. Okay, well, that sounds like an asteroid. I don't know. It could be a UFO.

Unless you get piped afterwards, that's an asteroid. 1989, a milkmaid encountered a cosmic creature that looked like a person but was taller than average with shorter legs. That one could have just been a man. That could have been a person. Now that I read shorter legs. That one could have just been a man. That could have been a person. Now that I read that back, that one could have just been a man. Did you just say they looked like a person? They looked like a person. Okay.

But did I mention that they were taller than average? Okay. They should at least look like an alien if we're going to claim that they're an alien. And finally, August 2nd, 2019. Whoa. August 2nd, 2019. Just two years ago, two UFOs were photographed flying over Varanash. So this is the same region, is it, Varanash?

Same region. This is a very distant photo, as it would be if you saw a UFO in the sky. You know, it's very hard to get a close-up shot. We don't all have Samsung Galaxy 21 or whatever the it's true you know 20x zoom um this is how it would look if i took the photo and it's very distant very blurry but it is two interesting circular ufo shapes lit up quite bright yeah really hard to say what's

going on there doesn't really look like anything else you'd see in the sky normally yeah we could sit here uh listen off all the ufo sightings in russia all day long i'm sure this is even the ones that was actually used in the press okay that was actually i had to make up a couple on the spot too i was the milk i was drinking a glass of oat milk when my brother walked in looking taller than usual there have been a lot of very strange u my brother walked in, looking taller than usual. There have been a lot of very strange UFO sightings in Russia. Yes. Those are just some of the most interesting ones.

It's strange that there were even so many in this one city alone. Look, there's got to be something interesting going on there in terms of... There's no coincidence that two countries that are absolutely world famous for UFO sightings are probably America and Russia. I mean, also two combatants in the Cold War that was going on pretty much around this exact time of the 80s. You know, it seems like no coincidence that these two highly militarized countries also happen to have UFO sightings. I don't know what that means. Does that mean that they are testing their own aircrafts and people are confusing them for ufos does it mean that other countries aircrafts are entering their airspace and people are confusing those right and maybe even that's why the military and police don't know what's

going on yeah that's a good point yeah it's just one argument that comes up a lot why these two countries you know like i would be fascinated to know does this happen all the time in i don't know rural iceland that people see ufos all the time i don't know that's a good point that kind of leads me into one of our most popular theories why why viranesh why would aliens be drawn to this place why are aliens drawn to any place there is one answer one possible answer that is a little stranger than we really think all across the atlantic people have found these mysterious stone labyrinths dating back 4 000 years i told you this was gonna get i thought this was gonna be scientific but okay let's let's go you ever

heard of wizards you ever heard of wizards and spells you're like i was already not on board with the ufo sighting now you're talking to me about fairy circles although i will say this definitely uh lends itself to the pyramid of truth you know hearsay rumors look there are at least 50 of these stone labyrinths across Finland, Lapland, and Russia. Nobody knows why they're there. The theories range from ritualistic use to astrological use to even being used to trap evil spirits. But some others believe, similar to crop circles, that they could be markings left behind by UFOs. And where is one of these markings, Kit? Voronezh, Russia.

Whoa! Can I see what one of these labyrinths looks like? You absolutely can. I actually brought a picture of one right here. Because I've never even heard of these. This is pretty cool stuff. It's just a drawing I did of alien boobs. Don't look at that!

Rory's personal stash. I'm like, by the way way these boobs are not more accurate than the movie depictions i mean what this is not what i was picturing for some reason i was picturing like a maze i guess a maze or something a little more solid this is actually a this is a lot closer to stonehenge in terms of an arrangement of rocks but also a lot smaller than stonehenge these are very small rocks someone could have made this in an afternoon right but i'm not saying that's the case why do people think these are ancient i don't know man i don't know i didn't know you're gonna didn't know you're gonna pick it apart this much i

thought you're just gonna be like i mean it's just it's just rocks on the grind so yeah i'm hoping you would have the story for why they're so ancient well they've been there for 4 000 years that's pretty old isn't it that's pretty good that's like that's a pretty long time ago why are they here listen i like the idea of stone tech. Right. Stone theory. I don't think that's what we called stone theory a long time ago. I don't remember. I don't remember what stone theory means. But I like the idea of ancient technology harnessed by aliens,

much more sophisticated than ours, that doesn't require electricity and circuit boards and lights and LED strips, but rather they have some kind of up futuristic ancient stone tech this is the alien version of like bookmarking a page yeah on chrome they're like hey we visited this place on earth uh four thousand years ago it's pretty cool let's leave a stone mark here and then when we're coming back down scan the planet for the exact same pattern anywhere on the Earth. And then it'll geolocate us right back to where we were before.

It's video game fast travel. It's the Stargate portals from the series. Exactly. So who's to say 4,000 years ago, these little weirdos, the little cube man and the pipe bouncer didn't come down, one of these uh stone markings in veronesh 4 000 years later they come back they're like there's a football field here now this has changed so much who's this little guy let's pipe him who knows yeah that weird alien looking guy is like 2 000 years ago my great granddad left a USB stick with cryptocurrency on it

in Varanash, Russia. I'm going to go see if I can find it. I think we need to channel this sort of insane energy into our conclusion. Let's not dance around this any further. Kit, with the evidence and the story that I provided

with you today, do you believe that there is any truth to this story the viranesh aliens listen it's a great story uh really exciting really uh tantalizing and vivid descriptions of these aliens and i love the pictures they're so unique which makes it that much more believable i have to say as soon as you mentioned stone tech uh bringing these aliens to viranesh the fact that there is some kind of ancient stone um layout there that i was ready to pull the trigger and say yes but actually having seen the stones i have more questions than answers i knew i should have

scrapped the stones they were a real hail mary that i threw in the end of the podcast i was like in case he doesn't buy the alien craft all the evidence so i have to say i'm i'm pretty confused there's definitely something going on here but is it paranormal rory uh it's a hard one look i love the case i love these creatures i love the aliens um it's so unique this is such a unique. I mentioned to you before the podcast. The look of these creatures is similar to Sam the Swamp Jester. Sure. So bizarre. So many strange little details that these kids just nailed. But we're missing the hardcore evidence.

The most I could find is pictures and videos of people going to the site where there are still i believe the dents in the soil where the craft allegedly landed the four dents that you can see and visit all of similar uh density and depth so it was an equal amount of pressure placed on all uh all four of the the holes but aside from that a lot of the other facts are highly debated um even though scientists went on the line and said that it happened even though the official government newspapers stated clearly a hundred percent a ufo landed here uh i don't know i think i would have liked to see a bit more physical or scientific evidence brought forward. Yeah.

I mean, it's hard to look past the fact that, again, a bit like the Swamp Clown episode, the kids saw it, the kids vividly described it, but conveniently all the adults didn't see it. Yeah. And I'm not here to debate whether or not there was an unidentified flying object in viranesh at that time i'm here to debate whether or not three dudes came out of an orb and piped a child to death yeah uh and today i have to say that no i don't think that those are the events that transpired it's a double no unfortunately right fortunately but hey what a what an amazing story thank you so much for joining us for this episode of this paranormal life have you ever been piped by an

alien let us know by emailing this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com if you head on over to our website you can co-sign a letter demanding big hollywood depicts alien hooters. That's right. Accurately. And some alien schlongs. We're not sexist. We want both sides of the potato here, folks. So get in touch. Email us at thisparanoilifepodcast at gmail.com. If you have a story that you want us to investigate, whether it's one that you've researched yourself or one that you've lived through and you were the only surviving the only surviving witness that wants to get in touch we know that there's a lot of podcasts out

there hell a lot of paranormal podcasts so we appreciate you making the time for this paranormal life this paranormal life is the uh you know you got all your fancy city boy podcasts out there that are done in their studios we live in a city we are their production teams and their cozy little little apartments this is the we're literally making this podcast in east london in their cozy apartment this is the clean before the preservatives the fresh from the fields homegrown all-amer. How are you trying to market us? Like farmer podcasters? Captain of the football team.

Making out with the head cheerleader. Fireworks on the 4th of July. All American podcast. That, you know. In London. Based in London. With two guys from Northern Ireland. Yeah, of course.

So we appreciate you listening to the podcast. We appreciate you tuning in every week. If this is one of your favorite shows. And you want from Northern Ireland. Yeah, of course. So we appreciate you listening to the podcast. We appreciate you tuning in every week. If this is one of your favorite shows and you want a little extra, if you want a little more of the special sauce over on Patreon.com,

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it helps our numbers boost us up gets us higher in the charts and brings in more faithful listeners to the paranormal commune. It is crazy. I mean, we've seen massive growth in the show over the last couple of years, and that is nothing to do with mainstream media, nothing to do with advertisers. That is all to do with our listeners spreading the good word. So we owe it all to you. Thank you for spreading the word of this paranormal life.

Thank you. Thank you so much to Cami Thoman for editing this episode and to Amy Grisdale for researching it. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of This Paranormal Life. We will be back next Tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale. Ciao.