This Paranormal Life - #214 Are Dragons Real?

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

Dragons. We've seen them in everything from movies to TV shows to video games. Are they really just a creature of myth... or is there some truth to their existence?NEW SONG - Don't Wait Uphttps://ffm.to/teamrktdontwaitupPatreonpatreon.com/ThisParanormalLifeYouTubeyoutube.com/thisparanormallifeTwittertwitter.com/ThisParaLifeInstagraminstagram.com/thisparanormallifeSecret Society Facebook Pagewww.facebook.com/groups/thisparanormallife/Edited by Kami Tomantomanedits.comResearch by Amy GrisdaleIntro music: www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens if a vampire drinks werewolf blood? What happens if you give Red Bull to a spider? All of these questions you can find the answer to on this Paranormal Life! Hello everyone and welcome to this Paranormal Life, the comedy paranormal podcast where every week we investigate a brand new tale and come to the conclusion as to whether or not it is truly paranormal. My name is Rory Powers, and across from me sits the one and only Kit Greer. Hey, bud.

So we hit record? Yeah, let's just dive, let's jump in. We are recording. I put so much energy into that. I really gave that 100%. Jeez, i must have blacked out for a second to hear the yarn sorry i'm on board i'm on board okay do you need do you need a minute or something do you want to call me no no i'm good well don't yawn into the

good i said i'm good i said i'm i did want to say this is one of those times where uh one of your intro questions science has already answered it. Have you ever seen, not the werewolf blood one, before you get too excited. Do you ever see the images of what different spider webs look like when they give the spiders different drugs? No. Is that a real thing? That sounds like an experiment I would do as an 11-year-old boy. Yeah.

as 11 year old boy yeah and they gave i want to say they gave the spider caffeine aka red bull uh weed alcohol and maybe cocaine or acid or something and the results are quite humorous wow is it just different types of designs or like after they gave him some weed did he just not make a web spoiler alert the weed he gives up halfway through the alcohol as wonky as all hell the cocaine he makes way too many lines and then the uh acid i think it he makes a web of complex geometric patterns although that one might have been a joke can spiders od yes oh yes you're like many of them. I think they all died. This was like their last, the last moments on earth were captured.

What a way to go. I would love it. They were like, they also gave a spider crystal meth and it robbed the scientists at knife point and took over the lab. They had to just wall that one up, seal off the lab and bury it underground. I gave one of them PCP.

It got topless, started fighting other spiders. But we're not here to talk about spiders. That's our other podcast. Today, we're here to talk about a mythological creature. Now, let me reword that because it might not be mythological, asshole. I didn't say anything. I don't know what you're talking about yet. We're here to talk about a different beast.

It's February 17th, 1998, and an unnamed woman was trekking through the Canadian wilderness. In her testimony, she claimed that she'd been climbing these mountains and hike trails for over 10 years, and today was no different than usual. She made her way through the backcountry of Banff, beyond the point, a fairly well-known hike-in campground. Further up the mountain, she noticed a group of trees on a cliffside where there'd been none before.

Strange, but who knows, maybe the ground had shifted or the trees had grown. And that's when she saw it. Blending among the trees was a creature. A beautiful, dark green creature perched on the rocky cliffside, fanning its large wings. The woman said, it was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. His head was long, with large eye ridges and two smaller bumps with a triceratops-like horn on his nose. Uh-oh. At the back of his head were two large horns jutting out backwards and two smaller horns below them.

As I stood there, it turned and looked at me and cocked its head to the side, almost like a bird. Then, it spread its enormous wings and vaulted off the cliff. My legs felt so weak that I had to sit down. What? After the creature leapt from the cliff and took off around the side of the mountain, the woman knew that she had just seen

a fully grown dragon. Okay, holy moly. We know what a dragon is. Okay. What the f*** is going on? Kit, what do you know about dragons? I know this lady's been hiking for too long. Ten years.

I think she stopped in between those years. I do want to say she hasn't been hiking for ten years straight. Because that would be a problem. She hasn't eaten in five days. She hasn't had a sip of water in three. Wow. I mean, what do I know about dragons what a question uh i guess we all know a little bit i know the basics they're like treasure live in caves massive breathe fire yeah medieval knights you're hitting a lot of good points here i didn't know there were many dragons in banff in 1998. Yeah. Now this case is a bit of a unique one. As we're going to learn,

there aren't a lot of modern day dragon sightings, but they do still occur all over the world. Wow. That's a big surprise. It truly is. This is why I start all of my hinge dates with, what do you know about dragons? I think it sets a good tone for how the date is gonna go which is kind of mad that you remain so normal through the texting process setting up the date picking a nice venue dressing nice meeting up all just to sit down at the restaurant the waiter comes along can i get you guys something to drink not now sir what do you know about dragons it's like yeah i know this um this this little place does um it's it's american style food but it is it is really good quality uh it's a mcdonald's and i'm in the corner of the restaurant smoking a pipe in the shadows like aragorn

my face illuminated with every puff oh my god rory call. Call me Strider. I won't. I will not. I will leave. No, okay, Rory. Tell me, fair maiden. What do you know about dragons? I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go. I'm going to get a Happy Meal and I'm going to go.

No, fair maiden. I have ordered you McNuggets. I told you I was vegan. An apple pie then. Yeah, I haven't had a lot of dates, you know, but I like to think that's because of my personality, not my love of dragons. lot of dates you know but i like to think that's because of my personality not my love of dragons well as you know dragons are typically considered a mythological creature and they've been a part of the history culture and folklore of countries all over the world

from as early back as 5000 bc damn aka before cameras so don't don't expect any photographic evidence all right you did say 1990 yeah it sounded like she got a good look at that thing too well she didn't have a camera so we're gonna have to find another story in china dragons are more of a symbol of luck or power and some can cause floods if they're upset by humans i don't think it's a sign of luck to meet a dragon uh it depends well a dragon It depends Because in China We're not talking about the dragons That are on hordes of treasure Dragons in Chinese folklore

They more like float Through the sky Like your Breath of the Wild dragons It's not that fire breathing Rip you to shreds type of dragon It's not a monster isn't it I know what you mean, though. I did see a video of, like, a Chinatown celebration,

you know, and they got, like, the dragons, you know, doing the dance. Doing the dance, yeah. And they seemed pretty, like, chill. It seemed like people, you know, thought they were kind of cute. You know there's men under that costume. People were...

They were very benevolent. I need you to tell me that you know that wasn't a real dragon in chinatown i thought it was pretty neat that they were able to find some dragons in this day and age but people were giving offerings to the dragon and the dragon was kind of playing around with it so you know that tells you something that people they're not seen as fearsome maybe the same way we see it yeah in different cultures we see it as king arthur having to slay the dragon of course it is a beast a fire-breathing beast in india dragons like vritra were viewed more as giant sea serpents or water snakes almost like the loch ness monster those dragons damn greek historian strabo wrote that in india there are reptiles two cubits long with membranous

wings like bats that basically piss acid that rains down on people yeah that's not lucky is it no that's not lucky the indian bats the indian dragons are not lucky at all what i'm trying to get across is the dragons come in many forms clearly but i think for a lot of our audience as we said, when we think of dragons, we think of your typical fire-breathing, treasure-hoarding, scale dragons. The ones from fantasy books like Game of Thrones. So where did this classic imagery come from? Well, the answer may lie in an old epic poem from around as early as 700 AD. The poem of Beowulf, one of the oldest surviving pieces of literature in the English language. In this story, a brave warrior named Beowulf

was on the throne in the kingdom of Gateland. Businesses were prosperous and the people adored their wise and dignified king. Did the king write this? Things are pretty good unto the king. He was the jack the most handsome of all kings. Well, he was. But one stormy night, there was a knock at the castle door. It was answered by Weelaff, one of the king's most faithful earls. Standing out in the bitter cold was a man dressed in rags. Weelaff said, Standing out in the bitter cold was a man dressed in rags. Weelaff said, Welcome, stranger. The night is bitter and I see you shiver.

I know not whether you shiver from the cold or some unknown terror, for I see fear in your face and eyes. Whatever the cause, tell us your name and come in and eat and drink with us and explain yourself to our king. Weelaff whisked the man to Beowulf's throne, and the gracious king was all too happy to listen to the dirty stranger. Sire, I have no home. I was out in the woods trying to find somewhere to shelter for winter. I found a cave that stretched into a long tunnel, and at the end was a great chamber full of golden treasures.

was a great chamber full of golden treasures. Well, where is it? Well, my liege, in the center, was a sleeping dragon, so I ran away. The king wasn't convinced. Don't lie to me, stranger. But the ragged man stood firm, holding the king's gaze as he reached beneath his tattered cloak and pulled out a golden cup encrusted with glittering gemstones.

He walked forward and handed it to the king. This must be the most beautiful chalice on earth. Imagine what more the dragon is hoarding. And it's all stolen from our ancestors. I don't know where he's got that from. No, sire, I didn't say anything. Stolen! Stolen!

Right from my grandfather's paws! You little rat! No, sir, you misunderstand. The king continued. Soon he will know a piece is missing he will come searching for it and seek vengeance the king stood up from his throne i ask for 11 followers we will slay the beast and take back the treasure of our forefathers that is ours by right pretty convenient bit of logic there you didn't know about this treasure up until five minutes

ago now you decided it's your birthright yeah you didn't even know that it existed and all of a sudden it was stolen from your grandfather it's like sire you said you never knew your grandfather well i actually think he was a pretty wealthy man and i actually think the dragon did him dirty we must put an end to this great terror before it awakens and finds it has been robbed. Who of you will come with me to the lair of the dragon? But little did Beowulf realize that as he was speaking, the dragon was already awake. It knew immediately that one of its prized possessions had been stolen, and it leapt out of its cave towards the kingdom.

prized possessions had been stolen and it leapt out of its cave towards the kingdom. Back in the kingdom, Beowulf was still choosing the last of his team. Hmm, I don't want another archer, so lastly I'll choose... uh, Weelaff! Unfortunately, it was too late. The mead hall's doors flew open to reveal the kingdom in flames as the dragon swooped over the town, blasting entire streets with fire. My god, it's here! Barricade the entrances! The king then rounded up his team. Follow me out the back door!

Get your weapons and armor and meet me in the forest tomorrow morning tomorrow morning it's burning now it's too late it's too late i'm a little sleepy i'm honestly a little sleepy the screaming is just deafening what did you say i said i'm sleepy would you shut up up there oh my god there's no way i'm gonna be able to sleep through this i love this this is like the start of a skyrim game or something yeah very cool this absolutely except usually in those games you get to pick your your class right you know are you a rogue you get to pick everything a ruffian are you a knight whatever it's like a cat man with a lizard dick? It's so customizable, you could spend hours in that thing.

Sure. But it seems like Beowulf, sadly, didn't get those kind of choices. He unfortunately has to fight this thing face on. Yeah, he can't choose to be an eight foot ogre with a cat's tail and a lizard dick. Nor a kind of Oliver Twist ruffian that simply runs away from the city, leaving it to burn.

Yeah, he can't, when things are getting hot, just crouch behind a barrel and disappear from the enemy's sight. The dragon will burn him. It will burn him good. You know, these days, presidents, prime ministers, they've got a cushy little office job

at the end of the day. Back then, leading your country meant something. Yeah office job at the end of the day. Back then, leading your country meant something. Yeah, it meant leading them on the battlefield. And I think they should still enforce that. I would like the president of America to be a machine gun in hand, riding a helicopter into the battle, spraying bullets. I don't know why in my head it's Abraham Lincoln. But I think that's sets a good precedent. Well, the next day, Beowulf and his men waited outside the dragon's lair. All right, men, I'm going to try and take down the beast alone.

But stay ready. I might need some backup. At that moment, the dragon appeared over the horizon, hurtling towards them at full throttle. Oh, God. All 11 earls immediately ran away into the woods. Of course. Leaving the king alone.

He raised his sword and shield as the dragon landed in front of him. It towered high, covered in thick gray scales. The king had to duck behind his iron shield to escape the heat from the dragon's fire breath without hesitation he charged at the dragon swinging wildly using quick attacks like a ratata there's no no there's no way it was like a ratata not a scyther does scyther know quick attack scyther has has a sword for an arm so Okay, yeah, maybe more like a Scyther, to be fair. I think he uses cut. I think that's one of his moves. Well, he might as well have been a Magikarp using splash because it was no use. Oh boy. The stench was enough to make Beowulf

gag. And if his shield got any hotter, he'd have to drop it before his hands started burning. His arms were aching and his legs felt like they were about to give way until a voice from behind him cried out, I'm here, Sire! We laugh, who'd been watching the fight. We laugh, stay back! You don't stand a f***ing chance, man! Incinerated immediately.

Oh, my skin! It's burning and melting! Oh! my skin! It's burning and melting! Oh! We laugh! It was the best of us. Stand down, king. Your iron suit is no good. I shall use my wooden suit. No, we laugh!

Touched by the bravery of his faithful earl, Beowulf found the energy to charge once again, this time striking the beast in his head and melting the sword on contact. However, as the creature thrashed in pain, it seized the king by the neck and pierced his throat with its long teeth. Whoa, that's bad. Weelaff took his chance to dart forward and sink his sword into the dragon's belly. It staggered, dropping Beowulf and doubling over in pain. Weeglaf sliced his throat and removed the dragon's head.

Wow, Weeglaf's got moves. We did it, sire! Sire! Weeglaf! Quick! Before I die I would like to hold some of the treasure We laugh grabbed a magnificent

Sorry, excuse me, are you laughing at this? Seriously? The king is on his last breath Sire, do not have any messages For your friends and family In your last moments No, just the treasure is fine. We have, they get the picture.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love you, whatever, bye. That's right. Even in death, the most important thing was the treasure the whole time. Well, it's kind of sad if you think about it. It is a little sad. This is the Beowulf of Wall Street.

He was all about the cash. He was all about the money. When he was assembling the team, he actually phoned them up and was like, I've got a lucrative business deal. I wonder if you're interested in. There's a cave nearby filled with gold. And if you don't take this opportunity right now, you're going to regret it for the rest of your life. Is there a dragon in the cave? Because if so, I'm not interested. I'm not going to regret it. Well, Weelaff decided to follow his orders. He went to the cave and he grabbed a magnificent crown and laid it on the king's head. Thank you, Weelaff.

You are now king. Take the treasure and do whatever you want with it. You're the true winner of this battle. Now I sleep. The ancient tale of Beowulf the Dragonslayer was a huge part of the mythological depictions of dragons. It was even cited by Tolkien as being a massive inspiration behind The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Wow, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it's a bit like, you know, we discussed Merlin a couple of episodes back.

And it's a similar vibe I'm getting. A similar sort of time in history where real history and myth were kind of blended into one. And that's why it feels like these stories are so much a part of the fabric of life when you live in Europe. That was essentially our written history, whether it was true or not. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know, they didn't have newspapers, telegraphs. Like the news that would spread would probably be the most entertaining stories this is fake news this is fake news in 700 a.d yeah so it's like are people going to

really tell the stories of a king that um i don't know poisoned his enemies with wine pretty boring or are they going to tell the story of beowulf, this magical king who slayed a dragon? These stories did a pretty good job of probably keeping people happy with the status quo, even though they probably lived in great poverty for a long time. If your life sucks, at least if you think that your king is out there slaying dragons, you feel like life could always be worse. There could be dragons everywhere. And there only isn't thanks to Beowulf. The king's actually pretty good at killing them. Which is a disturbingly realistic analogy

to terrorists in this day and age. You know, I don't know. If not for George W. Bush, there might be a terrorist in my very living room. How sad is that? Yeah, I love the thought of a peasant family sitting in a mud shack eating dirt for dinner. And before they take a bite, they're like, we just want to thank our lord and savior Beowulf.

And we laugh, the mighty, mighty dragon slayers. I've, of course, never met them. I only heard that they were our rulers because the guy who runs the farm once delivered milk to the castle. We're alive because of them. And the funny thing is, is back when Beowulf was written, a lot of people genuinely believed that dragons were real. In fact, dragons appear in the pages of biology books alongside real species. The book named History of Four-Footed Beasts that was published in 1658 wrote, Dragons have very wide mouths, through which they often swallow whole beasts.

There are some dragons which have wings and no feet. Some have both feet and wings. And some have neither feet nor wings. That's a snake. That's absolutely a snake. Every variation of wings and feet, including none at all. That's, it's very worrying to think, isn't it,

that these textbooks, which every child in the land based their entire education on, and everyone took as gospel fact, written by scientists, they were just making it up as they went along, weren't they? I guess, look, the world was a small place.

You know, nowadays you believe things in books because you trust the people that have written them have experienced these facts firsthand. Whereas like the guy who tells you that a zebra exists has never seen a zebra, not in 1658. He's seen a drawing of it in an adventurer's handbook. I guess, to be fair, maybe I'm being a bit harsh

because what do I expect them to do? If they wrote a book of everything they had evidence for, the book would be empty. Evidence was hearsay. I guess at that time, everything was blowing their minds. Trees were blowing their minds. So I guess what's a dragon on top of all that if they were only going by the animals they encountered every day the big book of

beasts would be rats and birds it would be every kind of rat and every kind of irishman some birds have no feet some have no wings they are called okay, so it's just a rat then. Some rats don't have noses, eyes, or tails, or feet. And we call them rocks. Some rocks are edible. We call those potatoes. If you leave a rock in the sunlight, it becomes a potato. And if you leave it in water, it will become a rat.

This is the way of life. In fact, during an invasion, Alexander the Great himself claims that he saw a 200 foot serpent that the locals worshipped as a god. In the fifth century, Herodotus, the Greek historian, wrote about dragons living in spice groves and frankincense trees, and that the workers had to chase them away with smoke before harvests. Wow. God, that's tough's tough these days farmers just have crows i don't even know what crows do do they eat stuff but you need a scarecrow to keep them away yeah man what's a scare dragon look like i don't know an even bigger beast yeah i have no idea some kind of godzilla or sulu a robot mech in your cornfield to scare them away.

A Gundam wing. Imagine every farmer was a Gundam pilot. It's a bad harvest this year, Susan. The dragons are coming for the corn again. Better hop in the old Gundam. Show them who's boss. Put the stew on, would you? I'll be back in five.

Takes off, roasts acres of crops in an instant, incinerated. By the way, is corn this good that it's worth everything, all the effort? Like, shouldn't we just grow f***ing beans instead? Oh, you don't want to see what kind of dragons you get if you're growing beans. instead oh you don't want to see where the kind of dragons you get if you're growing beans now obviously one popular theory behind why people believe dragons existed comes from not living creatures but fossils older generations may have discovered dinosaur bones and believe that they were the remains of mighty ancient dragons that That makes a ton of sense. I've never thought about that before.

If all you know are the creatures that you've seen roaming the land and all of a sudden, I don't know, you're building a new castle, you take off the edge of a cliffside and see a skeleton that is 30 foot long. All of a sudden, all you've heard about- You don't feel like building a castle anymore.

You feel like building a shrine, a dragon-shaped shrine yeah sorry guys don't set up camp too quickly we've got to keep moving these things are everywhere yeah you'd be pretty pissed if you were the king that these people worshiped like a god and then one day uh you're just walking in the woods and you come across the skeleton of a 50 foot beast. You're like, oh boy, I'm going to have to cover this up with grass because if they find out that this thing exists, they're not going to be worshiping old Michael anymore. I'm pretty sure.

Don't even have to look back to the days of kings. I think you can just look at the Pope of the Catholic Church. I think that's what he probably thought for a few hundred years there. Oh boy, better cover up those dinosaur bones. Now we've talked a lot about dragons throughout history, so what does the life of your average dragon look like? Let's go through it. Well, even though the descriptions vary, the important characteristics are always pretty much the same. Large, reptilian looking beasts with horns. Dragon scales are fireproof, of course, and could protect a fully grown dragon from napalm or molten lava. I mean, has someone tried? Uh, no. But I guess we just

know that dragons are stronger than napalm. Yeah, that's implied. They can also live up to 1,200 years old. Wow. So crazy to think that some of the dragons that existed in these stories of old could still be stomping around this earth today. What I'm learning from these stories is no matter how powerful, wise, or ancient you are, everyone loves gold, and apparently that's what's most important in life. Yeah, and if you live for 1,200 years,

you end up with a lot of it, especially when you can melt anyone that gets in your way. If I lived for 1,200 years and could breathe fire, I'd have a lot of Bitcoin. Let's put it like that. So what do dragons eat? Well, we've said it before. Some are said to eat gold and jewels,

but also allegedly a lot of them like to eat deer, cows, humans. A little more mythological here, but elves and unicorns. I might actually scratch those from the list because they're obviously not real. We might have to prove that those exist to prove that dragons exist. Now, I know that this is what you're really waiting for. You want to know the most important question of all. Do dragons f**k? To prove that those exist, to prove that dragons exist. Now, I know that this is what you're really waiting for. You want to know the most important question of all. Do dragons f***?

I hadn't thought of it, but now that you've said it. It's all you can think about, isn't it? Let's go. Play the music. Get the lights dimmed. Very sexy stuff. The answer is, well, actually, let's not go too sexy with it because this gets a little weird. The answer is yes. let's not go too sexy with it because this gets a little weird uh the answer is yes dragons do they actually mate in the sky wow that's kind of poetic beautiful not so beautiful they also participate in incest so uh i don't know maybe it's different in dragon

culture well there's not a lot of them and i'm not saying that makes it any less weird but they don't have as many choices there's no dragon bumble there's no dragon tinder you can't it just scratches the phone if you try and swipe with those dragon claws i don't know a lot about this but there must be other animals that also participate in incest yeah maybe you know there maybe it's not a weird thing in the animal kingdom sometimes in other animals it can be a trippy genetic setup i heard a pretty fascinating uh stat recently that you know sometimes we look at the insect kingdom and as an example of how animals look after each other and are altruistic so for example you know ants will sacrifice themselves to save their

buddies or maybe like form like uh if they have to go across a river they'll form like an ant raft or create an ant bridge for the other ants to climb over that's wild which seems like really awesome that they look out for each other like that but it was explained to me that that's it doesn't actually break the rules of evolution because ants aren't related the same way that humans are related to each other basically i'm kind of butchering this but i think the deal is that each ant soldier little worker guy yeah every other ant is basically like their brother or sister right okay they're all they all share like 50 of their dna so i think it's like they almost share more dna with each other than maybe even like their own children or

whatever so it actually makes more sense to um help out their buddies than even maybe their own family wow that's crazy it's kind of like a, it's almost less of like lots of individual ants and just like a moving buzz of beings that all just kind of work together to get a job done. And it's trippy that they know that, that they're like, help me, brother. Yes, brother. Of course, brother. Anything for the hive, brother.

And then that ant gets to the front and he's like, anything for the hive. And he like jumps down, like gets smushed immediately long live the hive whereas you get weird looks if you do that for a human you know people don't appreciate it the other day it was raining and there was a puddle right in front of the traffic lights and i just laid down in it on my back and said anything for the hive people just walked around me they just didn't even use me as a raft or anything which

was actually kind of rude have you seen my queen have you seen my queen where is she did you do something to her i get arrested brothers why why is that voice just the ant voice crumbs crumbs crumbs crumbs crumbs crumbs need crumbs brother why now all these little poems and stories are obviously lovely but what about real world experience the woman from the story in the beginning claims that she saw a dragon firsthand but without any corroborating witnesses or even a first name it's hard to trust her word. So instead of looking for the dragons, maybe we need to look for what they've left behind. As the saying goes, Kit,

no smoke without fire. On October 8th, 1871, two huge fires broke out across America. One in Peshtigo, one in Chicago. The one in Chicago was so big that it's referred to in the history books as the Great Chicago Fire, so it was pretty bad. And that's bad for the windy city. You would think the weather, they would put on any fire instantly. These two fires both started relatively near each other. The former in Wisconsin and the latter in Illinois. And the cause of both of these fires, to this day, is unknown.

During the same time period, fires also broke out in Michigan and Canada. These fires were all near each other, but still far enough apart that it couldn't have spread from location to location. I think I see where you're going with this. After all these fires had died down, there were numerous theories as to what had caused them this was also 1871 so i don't think there were firefighters coming in to kind of like evaluate the scene and be like oh it was those candles cigarette yeah yeah i always wonder how

do they know right they go they go they just like kick kick up a few ashes of a building that's like ground zero. And they're like, oh yeah, they left the toaster plugged in for too long or whatever. Toast, it'll get you. Yeah, I really have no idea how it's done. In my head, it's like Poirot shows up, but in like a fireman's outfit. And he just like stomps around the ash for a little bit. And he's like, you are a smoker, no? It's like, yes, I am.

I noticed very interestingly when I walked in that there were cigarette butts in your purse. And your fingers smelt of nicotine. It's like, I knew then that the only justification must have been a late night smoking a cigarette. Because of the bags under your eyes you have been working late at the factory you didn't have time to have dinner you smoked you fell asleep and the bed sheets were set ablaze it was a chip pan fire oh i was making chips they went on fire oh i admit it so it wasn't the cigarettes it wasn't or do you smoke no i don't. Okay.

I'm just tired. That's why I have bags under my eyes. So you had been working late at the factory and you came home and then you fell asleep with a chip pan. Don't pretend to solve it. I told you what happened. You're so determined to get a W. I don't work at a factory. I sleep nine hours a night.

And I watched the chip pan burst into flames. You know, you're pretty presumptuous, Poirot. You're a fat, lazy mess. Your life is a disgrace. You work at the factory. You don't have time to eat. The bill will be in the mail. I'm not paying you a dime, Poirot. You didn't solve anything. After the events, people guessed everything from meteorites to lightning

to a cow kicking over a lantern. But could the answer be right in front of us? No, whatever you're about to say is not in front of us. What were we talking about earlier? What did the lady see on the hillside? I know where you're going with it. I'm just arguing that it's not right in front of us. No matter how quietly you roar like a dragon.

The answer could have been right in front of us this whole time. Are you saying it's more likely that a dragon flew between what, Wisconsin, Illinois? Canada. And Canada. It crossed the borders, my friend. And started a series of fires without ever being sighted. And that's somehow more likely than a cow kicking over a lantern. In four places at once?

Can this cow teleport? Sir, does he have the wings of a bat? Fires happen all the time. I don't know what to tell you. Not great ones that burn down entire cities all over America. Okay. It was a, could it have been a dragon the whole time? You butcher, you butcher the dragon.

No one saw it. I'm pretty sure someone would notice fucking Daenerys Targaryen herself screaming Dracarys over Chicago. Look, if I broke into your apartment dressed as fucking Willy Wonka and smashed your ipad would you be why you dress like willy wonka do you have any chocolate no you're just gonna say why did you break my ipad this is why the people of these cities never even mentioned a dragon because they're not concerned with how the fire started oh they would be concerned oh they would they're concerned they would be concerned that their ipads have melted so i don't think if a dragon bust on your door sets fire to the entire building killing your entire family you barely escape wearing your charred underpants i don't think you're simply going to call the insurance company get the house rebuilt and go back to life as it

was that's pretty i think you're gonna want to get some answers yeah you're where did this dragon come from is he coming back your understanding of the universe and how it works has been shaken to its core you probably think you're insane not yeah on account of seeing the dragon but then the fact that it broke out in all these places all over the world how does this happen i just recommend that you move on and i don't know if anyone's being convinced by it uh wow that was really uh that was the big reveal that i thought was gonna wrap this thing up in a nice little bow so that actually hurts to hear that you're not you're not as on board as i thought um i guess i should go on um i mean you don't have to no it's you don't want to which it on. You don't have to.

No, it's fine. If you don't want to, which it sounds like you don't. My heart's not 100% in it anymore, but I'll still, I can keep reading. I can see why. I can see why. There are other animals, obviously,

that exist that are called dragons. The kimono dragon is one of them. I guess you think he can fly across the Canadian border at this point. They're not proving anything. There's a fruit called a dragon fruit. Doesn't look anything like a dragon. It's actually not that tasty. Mostly popular in Southeast Asia.

This isn't to prove anything. This is just to show, this is just topics of conversation, lighthearted topics of conversation. How does this help us decide whether this case is truly paranormal or not? I thought you were already going to be on board by now so that I could end the podcast with some lighthearted chatter and show you the picture of this little baby dragon. Can I see it? Well, I haven't teed it up yet. You weren't supposed to see it yet.

You probably think dragons are massive. This is f***ed how bad this is going this is so poor i would have until you showed me that baby dragon all of a sudden oh my god i guess they do have babies at some point yeah no this isn't a real dragon this is a this is something else yeah so i'm i feel really shook right now i feel like i'm not getting it is right yeah you the whole the fourth wall has been broken you don't you're not even claiming to even remotely believe yeah in research let's uh let's go back i think actually what do you mean go back it's february 17th what do you mean

to the start of the episode yeah just because i don't know way there's no way we're doing that again i need a running start to deliver this bombshell no no no you get one sentence you don't get you don't get 45 minutes of preamble all right we'll skip a little bit forward uh just a second we laugh jumped from the bushes to the king's aid way too far back seriously okay just say don't lift up old pages. Just stay on the page you're on. All right. We'll stay on this page. But could the answer be right in front of us the whole time?

No. Scrap that. That didn't go down well the first time. I'm not doing that again. This is insane. A dragon. Do you think it's possible that a dragon lit all those fires? We've cut the earlier bit.

I don't. Deliver that like this is the first time that you're hearing this because we're gonna cut all that other stuff do you think it's possible what what did you say i didn't say i didn't say anything yet what i'm about to say is no i don't think it's possible can we move on can i see the baby dragon yeah this is a little dragon. Here you go. That was arguably worse than the first time. Also, the only line above this is, so let me introduce you to Draco brackets, not Malfoy. That's who you were trying to tee up the whole time?

It was the joke that was really going to win the award. So this is... It's a draco lizard lizard sorry you didn't even let me do the joke for f**k's sake just let me say the joke so what i just handed you sorry was uh it's a lizard called um the draco not malfoy yeah from the popular Harry Potter series. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a whole different thing. This little guy. Sure.

It looks like a little dragon. It actually does. I will give you that. If this wasn't the maximum size it ever got to, you would think that this is like a baby dragon. It's a lizard with wings, kind of like a bat, kind of frog legs, little lizard head, and a tail.

You know, I'll give it to you. This is maybe the most kind of believable bit of the whole damn story is that if people back in the day found that, they might believe there were dragons. Yeah. I think that's kind of why I included this in the research is to give you a reasoning as to why this imagery exists, why people think a creature like this could exist and it is a combination of things like probably the draco a creature that looks like what people believe a dragon look like like a komodo dragon this enormous crocodile like lizard creature um and it's only the it's the biggest lizard that is not extinct right now uh you know you're going back to 700 ad who knows what kind of creatures were stomping around back in those days

it's a good point i think is what you were trying to say you didn't say anything but i think i think you were trying to say fair play powers you really pulled that one together at the end there hey it's an it's a really interesting it's a i i can't pretend i can't pretend this is this is brutal this is brutal this is just i thought it was going so well i'm not gonna lie to you i thought it was going really well i think you lost me a wee laugh i think we're all on board till we laugh i didn't really know what direction to take the the the end of this episode and it kind of spiraled into a couple different avenues that really materialized into absolutely nothing i did a little bit of research into you know there's a lot of people even today who are very enthusiastic about dragons dragon mythology uh dragon lore and a lot of people right now that still even believe

that dragons walk the earth. I found someone on an internet thread who was giving advice as to where you can find your own dragon eggs. Whoa. Implying that there are dragon eggs unhatched all over the earth.

And he actually uploaded a bunch of pictures of his own eggs that he found. Been busting into ostrich nests and ganking whatever he could find. He had a ton of them. He had a ton of dragon eggs. And I think he was implying like, hey, I'm the, I know where to get, like, I think his, his, it led with, you're lucky I found this thread. Because I'm the guy that you want to talk to.

Because I'm the guy that you want to talk to. There's also a lot of people who believe that some humans are dragons in human form. And you can tap into kind of dragon energy. Wow. In some way or another to become like, I don't know, some sort of enlightened spiritual human. That sounds like the guy who talks a big game right up until the karate tournament and he gets his ass handed to him yeah it turns out karate is a lot stronger than dragon energy when push comes to shelf i was really upset because um it basically descended into me googling how to transform into a dragon sure and uh i found a great article very descriptive titled how to transform into a dragon uh i was reading it for

like 10-15 minutes it was talking about why you want to do it what type of dragon you can become the possible side effects all the warnings and then finally it was like here's how you do it and it said the most popular way is to drink a dragon transformation potion and if you want to know how to make that you gotta buy the ebook and do the 12-week dragon transformation course no hyperlink by the way on the dragon transformation potion no linking articles none of it of course because every dummy knows how to make one of those i then spent 30 minutes searching the internet for dragon transformation potion finding nothing by the way um so that was a total dead end there's also kind of similar to remember we did this story where it was like people reciting almost chants to turn into wolves sadly i do there's also a

version of that for dragons where you know every day before you go to bed you have to recite oh dragon lord give me wings, give me claws, make me fly, all this kind of stuff. Apparently you recite it over and over and over again every day and then your dragon powers start to kick in. Isn't it mad how all that like animal transformation stuff, it's basically just getting you to pray, but instead of praying to God for, you know,

faith and belief and a holy life you're praying for to breathe fire it's the same logic yeah i mean if it doesn't hurt anyone go for it you want to pray to a dragon god it's absolutely hurting you and your life and your loved ones well it's funny you mentioned that because in the youtube video it was like how to know if your dragon powers are kicking in and it was like here's how you know headaches sore back itchiness all over it was all bad all of it was bad and all the comments were like i've been doing this for one day and i feel physically ill it It's like I could barely sleep at night. I'm sweating bullets.

And I was like, I think you might be sick. You should go to a hospital. Was this happening before the dragon ritual? So it's a big world, the world of dragons, as we've kind of established today, between the eggs, between the transformations, between dragons still walking the earth to this very day. It's a big case. It's a massive case for something that as we've discovered i'm kind of ragging on it that

you know okay there's not a lot of physical evidence for these things but it's amazing enough just that these things have been living rent-free in our minds as a species for thousands of years all over the world everyone loves a good bloody dragon it's true yeah and i think it's a really it's a really fun thing to do is take a creature or a specific type of imagery from pop culture and trace it back to its original origin you know because you could do that with anything like where did a goblin come from yeah who made the first goblin or sandworm we could make one right now that could go down in history wow that's kind of dope to think of yeah it could be like the uh the mascot for the podcast we better uh give it a lot

of consideration because we want this to be something cool that everyone takes really seriously and thinks about for thousands of years yeah yeah so we should give them like a sweet name that's like evergreen as well like i don't know spunky yeah or something like that like uh like uh like a grunkle yeah because that just rolls off the rolls off the tongue you know it's like maybe even a spunkle i like that jizzo something like that pissy yeah mr shit something something like you know kind of crass so the teenagers like it this is our this part of my life top trump's card game kids opening up packs of cards in 50 years time you got grunkle i just got 10 mr shits we'll be selling mr shit as an nft uh later this year all right we've rattled on enough about dragons and becoming dragons it's time to find a conclusion here and i know it's a hard one

to come down on because we're not really looking at a specific case or a specific story this is kind of dragons as an entity um so i don't know yeah how do we want to kind of conclude this one do we believe that dragons are more than mythological at any point and let's go let's because you know there are so many different types of dragons and so many different types of stories let's because you know there are so many different types of dragons and so many different types of stories let's specifically look at this uh stereotypical fire breathing treasure hoarding right the the northern european dragon yeah let's hyper focus on that guy for now whether or not we think a creature like that ever did exist no oh god oh god that was brutal the only photo was a picture of someone holding a baby lizard that was the photographic evidence for thousands of years of dragons haunting i really thought you would at least entertain the notion for a little bit longer than just shut that down so hard. That was so brutal.

Really after We Laugh and all we've been through together. I didn't say it wasn't a dope story. I'm just not even sure We Laugh is real. Here's a little peek behind the curtain listeners. It's already painful enough that Kit just immediately gave this podcast a no, but our recording software crashed four times during this episode. We've lost progress and had to re-record it multiple times. Most of the We Laugh stuff, to be honest. You don't know how many times

I've said the word We Laugh today. It's more than I care to for the rest of my entire life. So to go through all of this, to get a no slapped on my forehead almost immediately, that's pretty painful. That being said, it is, I believe it is a no from me as well this week. Sure. It does pain us.

Of course it pains us. Do you really think it's a coincidence though? That the one, like we haven't had a audio recording fail since two years ago maybe three years ago it's been clean sailing since then you really think that the one day we decide to do dragons it fails four times you think that's just a coincidence it's pretty hot in this room that's all i'm gonna say you don't think big dragon is trying to conceal the truth from coming out you know i was thinking whenever we're talking about the fires across uh you know illinois and canada and so on you know i was

thinking back to whenever um my wife and i were in japan and we're seeing all the nice sights and you're seeing all the ancient buildings and stuff like that only it was it's always a little disappointing to learn that the buildings aren't always as ancient as they look or as you think they are i don't know you'll go see like i don't know himeji castle or one of the great shrines and they'll be like this beautiful castle has been here for over a thousand years not this one though this was built in the 70s it's been burned down and rebuilt about 17 times right since it was first built and it really struck me for the first time because we come from such a rainy place where fire isn't as

big an issue uh it really blew my mind to think that there are places on earth where fire is maybe the number one threat in your life yeah Yeah. You know, it would decimate cities and countries when it happened. And it makes it really all that much more believable. People would believe in things like this. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy to think, as you said, that in some of these countries,

the number one threat to your life is dragons. Okay. I think that's what you're implying. All right, we're done here. Where does the fire come from? Yeah. The dragon's belly. Actually, my-

I can't get over a lantern. You said it. Is it too late to take back my no? Okay. Now I'm coming around to the idea. Thanks for tuning in, guys. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of This Paranormal Life. Thank you, Amy Grisdale for the research and Cammie Toman for editing this week's episode.

Guys, we have another exciting announcement right here at the end of the podcast. As some of you know, Kit and I also love making music with our band Team RKT and our new single Don't Wait Up just came out. You can listen to it right now. This thing is hotter than dragon fire, my friends. You're going to want to get on it immediately. You can check out the new song by clicking the link in the description of this podcast. If you enjoy it, give us a follow, add it to your playlist, share it with your friends. It was awesome. We played one of our last singles just a few weeks back here on the pod, and we got such amazing feedback from you

guys. It was really touching, and it really helped us actually go a long way. You guys pre-saving the track, adding it to your playlist and stuff. And yeah, we really appreciate it. And so we hope you love this single as well. So here it is,. Driving home, it's getting late. Another journey that I've come to hate. Cause I've been stuck in the same routine like I've always been. But I'm breaking tonight. I'm locked in to bad habits. But it's more than this. I'm more in to bad habits, but it's more than this.

I'm more than a mess. Don't wait up, cause I'm not coming back. Don't wait up, cause I'm not gonna call. And this time I know that I can keep a hold on my promise. So don't wait up for me. Don't wait up, cause I'm not coming back Don't wait up cause I'm not gonna call And this time I know that I can keep a hold on my promise

So don't wait up for me Type it out, then hit erase I'm running circles just to feel it chase Feel the loss when I'm close to home Another night talking on the phone Trying to tell you Don't wait up, cause I'm not coming back Don't wait up, cause I'm not gonna call

At this time I know that I can keep a hold on my promise So don't wait up for me Don't wait up now, it's too late Bye. Don't wait up Cause I'm not coming back Don't wait up Cause I'm not gonna call At this time I know that I can keep a hold on my promise So don't wait up for me Don't wait up now

It's too late It's too late Don't worry, it's too late It's too late Don't worry, I'll be okay