This Paranormal Life - #224 The Michigan Dogman

Episode Date: August 3, 2021

In Wexford County, Michigan, a gang of lumberjacks chase down what they believe to be a large wild dog. It's only when the men corner the beast that they discover they've made a huge mistake. This is no dog, this is the DogMAN.BUY OFFICIAL TPL MERCHwww.thisparanormallife.com/storePatreonpatreon.com/ThisParanormalLifeYouTubeyoutube.com/thisparanormallifeTwittertwitter.com/ThisParaLifeInstagraminstagram.com/thisparanormallifeSecret Society Facebook Pagewww.facebook.com/groups/thisparanormallife/Intro music: www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Could a lightning strike reanimate the dead? Why is grave digging illegal? They don't need it anymore. All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Aha! Welcome to This Paranormal Life, the comedy paranormal podcast where every week we investigate

a brand new paranormal tale and come to the conclusion as to whether or not it is truly paranormal. My name is Roy Powers and across from me sits Kit Greer, a man who spent his life on the edge, on the edge of everything. Society. Well, mostly society. How are you doing, Kit? I'm doing well. Excited to see what we have in store today with another brand new paranormal investigation. How are you doing? I'm doing great. I know we don't like to, you know, waste time at the start of the podcast, but grave digging.

Thoughts? Yeah, I was going to gloss over it. Pretty loaded on the back end of that statement, wasn't it? Feel like you've been up to some grave digging then. I just want to flow. I just want there to be a conversation about it. I mean, am I wrong? I guess some people do get buried with their stuff,

but at the same time, don't people often pass on those things like rings? Maybe you could pawn off the bones for some cash, some loose cash. But most of the time you're digging up a body in 2021, it's going to be dirt and worms. There might be a loose 20 in their pocket they forgot about. Or a golden tooth you could kind of pry out, but you're probably not going to get that

much. Gravedigging is just someone who doesn't have a degree. That's what it is. That's a good t-shirt. Archaeologists are just gravediggers with a PhD. Look, let's dive into today's case because it's a fun one, you know, because as this show has grown, as this paranormal life has grown, we've been incredibly fortunate. We've been able to bring on an amazing researcher,

Amy, to help with our stories. But because of a little incident that I'm referring to as Rory's big f*** up, this week's episode is researched and written entirely by me. Oh. Yeah. So what you're saying is we've been enjoying new Coke for the last few months, but we're actually going back to original recipe TPL.

No, we're going even further back. This is swamp water in a Coke bottle. This is the dark days of TPL. Yeah, this is going to be a throwback This is the dark days of TPL. Yeah, this is going to be a throwback to the olden days of TPL. It's going to be wild. It's going to be chaotic. Not politically correct, that's for sure. It's going to be short for damn sure.

And at any given moment, I might scream or I might whisper. You could always choose to do those things because you've always hosted the podcast as well. What? Okay. You're telling me that was always an option? The episode hasn't even started yet, really. This is a case that we had emailed in a lot of times

and I didn't really realize it until I searched for the keyword. So thank you to Cal Benedict, Harris A, Abby Kimmel, Will Prince, Caleb Dorman, Connor Watson, and Colin Sundin. Colin Sundin emailed in this case November 2018. So thank you for your patience. Hope it's been worth the wait, my friend. I'd like to think he wasn't trapped in his car with the bees scratching at the side of the door. There's a bees? You're going to help me brothers investigate this thing now and tell me if a gun will kill it. Colin, I hope you're still alive. My fame, my favorite request to investigate this case came

from Trevor Swartzlander. The email subject was episode idea and the contents just said dog man of Michigan. he is what he sound like so thank you trevor he really do sound like that though he'd it do be like that sometimes that was a little insight to what we're going to be investigating today a dog a man a dog man how does it what is it what does that even mean did a dog a man did a man a dog has the investigation started? Conclusions? Thoughts? I told you it was going to be a short one, brother.

So this is going to be hopefully an exciting chapter in the lineage of TPL investigations into hybrids. The donkey lady. The frog man. Well, we kind of just did one on big cats as well. So interesting to move into dog territory. Look, let's get right into our story. All right. Our case today begins in 1887 in Wexford County, Michigan. A group of lumberjacks are out in the woods, working hard in the evening sun, chopping trees and loading them up to return to the village that evening. Come on, boys. Last few trees and we'll call it a day. I got a nice cold beer with my name on it. Just as the men were finishing their work, they heard something nearby in the bushes. What was that? Again, more rustling. Christ alive. Toss me my axe!

As the men went to investigate, a huge wild dog-like creature shot out of the bushes and scrambled down the hill. We're moving very fast. You're gonna have to keep up. I refuse to slow down. And I might scream or I might whisper. F*** me! Looks like we got a wild dog, boys! A big one, too! Now, knowing that a wild dog this big could really do some damage to the local town, the gang decided to track its paw prints, chase it down, and let's face it, probably axe it to death. That's an unlucky dog that stumbled across a band of thirsty lumberjacks with axes in their hands about to clock off for the day. Yeah, both of these groups have been terrified with this encounter. You don't want to get in between a man with an axe and his ice cold beer at the end of

the day. Because you're going to get axed. You're not going to win that battle. That's a battle my mother-in-law tries to win sometimes when she calls me at 5.30 p.m. and she hasn't won yet. The gang managed to catch up to the creature and the hunt was on. They chased it through the woods relentlessly until eventually it darted into a hollow log trying to hide. Now, if you're going to hide from a lumberjack, probably shouldn't hide in anything made of wood,

let alone a tree. Yeah. It's like hiding from a bee in a beehive or hiding from a bee in a beehive or hiding from a bee in a flower they don't have to be all bee related but those are the only two i could think of hiding from a bee in his own hive i mean it's a real galaxy brain type approach yeah it's it's a to use a an analogy from a recent episode it's a bit like being in the villains fun house of MERS. Yeah, you were being be is cackling like the Joker chasing you around the honeycombs.

Yeah, you were being chased by the Joker and you hid in a carnival. It's his whole he owns the car. He runs the carnival. It appeared like the beast was trapped. But instead of just axing it into oblivion, the men wanted to get a look at this dog. So they gathered sticks from the forest floor and began jabbing into the darkness. Oh, babe.

But instead of a dog's growl, the men heard a human scream. Oh! Good, but the axe is done, man. Oh, f***! What the hell was that? In an instant, the creature burst out of the log, appearing in full view in front of the lumberjacks. This was no dog. It was some sort of horrible half-dog, half-man beast. Oh, no.

The men immediately dropped their weapons and scattered into the forest as the beast disappeared behind them. Jeez. This was the first sighting of the creature known as the Michigan Doodman! Ow! Jesus, man. You've got to give me a heads up.

I did say there was going to be yelling. What are your thoughts so far, Kit? We're moving fast today. Just like a classic old school tpl wow this thing must have been really terrifying to uh make all these uh grown-ass lumberjacks with weapons in hand run away like children yeah yeah yeah because i said what this is 1987 i believe i thought i thought i said oh 1887 1887 getting the year wrong just like a classic good old tpl episode this was 1887 and these were lumberjacks it doesn't really astronauts didn't exist at that point so this was as manly as you could get

that's where we put our bravest best and brightest was out in the lumber fields um yeah so to terrify these grown men i mean they were kind of asking for it i guess by poking it literally prodding it poking the sleeping bear yeah not a good idea they kind of got what was coming to them i will say calling this thing the dog man is doing it a bit of a disservice because uh as you kind of got from that description even though it has some human elements to it it's not like some of the other creatures we've investigated that have just the legs of a man and the head of a dog yeah it's not you know val kilmer with the body of a dachshund or yeah i don't know jeff goldblum with the head of a golden retriever um i have a i have an artist illustration here of what they believe the beast

actually looked like holy that is not good my heart is uh palpitating right now i would have run very far if i had seen this this is this is the stature of a jacked six foot five quarterback but also somehow a wolf yeah it's it's an enormous werewolf essentially terrifying fangs absolutely hideous it'd be scary enough if it did have the head of a man but it doesn't it has the head of a a wolf with fangs i'll be honest it's just a wolf on its hind legs that's the only man thing about it it's standing up it's got a bit which is pretty fucked up by the way it's basically a wolf with abs. It's a, don't get me wrong. It's a furry lover's wet dream. He's got BD. That's for sure. Yeah. This could either be evidence in a case or Twitter fan art. It's hard to, it's hard to say. Sometimes they're both. The Michigan dog man is described as

a seven foot tall. He looks taller in this to be fair, blue eyed, or sometimes amber eyed, bipedal wolf beast with the torso of a man. His scream also strangely sounds like a human, sometimes described as the sound of a baby screaming. That's weird. Really horrible, isn't it? That thing running around, goo goo ga ga, this and that. You'd think the scariest thing it could do would be a roar a beastly roar yeah but if you were poking it with a stick and it went

you're like okay this is a lot this is kind of f***ed i'm gonna put the stick down because i feel like you're the baby of something bigger i feel like i am poking a child. Ooh, I'm just a widow baby. No, stop. Don't f*** with me. Yeah, it's basically the plot to the ancient myth from our neck of the woods in Northern Ireland about Finn McCool. And whenever a giant came over from Scotland to beat the shit out of Finn McCool,

Finn McCool, in a stroke of genius, pretended to be his own baby yeah because then the scottish giant said well f**k me if that's the baby of fin mccall i don't want to actually meet fin mccall and he ran off yeah it was a stroke of genius and true cowardice to pretend to be a baby to get out of a fight you know that would be like uh getting into an argument at the line for McDonald's. And then when they're like, oh, challenge me one on one in the car park. I want to be the shit out of you. And you're like, oh, will we? You're going to be the shit out of baby. Were we like you're a grown man. I can see her an adult. You spoke fine two minutes

ago when you called me a piece of shit so you wouldn't hurt widow old me he decks me in the nose oh oh holy shit oh oh my god oh my god i can't believe you hit a baby that is so fucked up uh i do a lot of things to get out of a fight i don't know if i pretend to be my own child to get out of it yeah it was a bold move because he's lucky the giant didn't then just go, fine, if I have to kill someone around here and Finn McCool isn't around, I'm going to kill his wife. He's like, no, I mean, no, don't kill my mommy.

It's a good thing that the Scottish giant was like, oh, I guess I'll kill his child then. Just strangles Finn McCool dressed as a baby. Which is probably worse because now you lost the fight and your giant dead corpse is just lying on a hilltop in a diaper. That's not how you want to be remembered. Well, as I said, the first sighting was in 1887, but the Dog Man continued to terrorize locals in the following years. People would complain about livestock going missing, about a giant figure dashing through the forest at night, claiming that they

saw a wolf that would stand up on its two back legs and walk about like a f***ing animatronic. That's crazy. And this beast is not shy either, unlike other cryptids. In the summer of 1938, 17-year-old Robert Fortney was out fishing on the banks of a river after a long day of hunting. As he cast his line out on top of the river, he heard the sound of growling from behind. He slowly turned to see a whole pack of feral dogs emerging from the woods. They must have picked up the scent of Robert's hunt. As the pack of dogs cautiously approached Robert, he carefully reached down for his rifle. Raising it to the sky, he fired a warning shot into the air. The dogs whimpered and scattered back into the forest. Except for one. Uh-oh.

A huge black dog with deep, beautiful eyes. Laughing like an anime villain. Ha ha ha. They were blue, Robert said. What kind of dog has blue eyes? Robert and this giant dog stared each other down before Robert pointed his rifle in the air again. I'm not messing

with you, you beautiful blue-eyed bastard. He fired another round into the sky, but the dog seemed unfazed. Then, without warning, the creature stood up on its hind legs, glaring at him, before slowly

turning and walking away. what it was like i'm just letting you know i'm not scared but i'm not i'm not about this i'm not about to get into a gunfight it's kind of like uh i think it's a real power move it's like in the indiana jones movies where i'm pretty sure this happens in every single ind Jones movie. He's in the middle of a fight scene and then he punches a Nazi that's like eight foot tall and the Nazi just stands there and takes it. Right. And then he like, you know, is like, oh, dust off your jacket, sir. Yeah. It's a classic gag. That's kind of what happened here is he's like firing a gun, stressing out all the wolves. And then this one giant 10 foot Nazi wolf just stands up on its back legs. And it's like, OK, I apologize, sir.

I don't know that we want to. This thing is pretty bad, but I don't know if we want to call it a Nazi wolf. Yeah, I sure you can't throw around that term. I'm sure there is a Nazi wolf cryptid out there in the world. I don't want those two to get confused i mean this thing is dangerous but it hasn't committed war crimes yet in a phone interview in 1987 robert said it reared up on its hand legs and just stared at me it may be that i was just scared but i swear that dog was smiling at me. What? Really creepy, isn't it?

The human side is coming out a lot more. A smile, beautiful blue eyes. It screams like a baby. There were so many sightings that it wasn't long before the Dog Man became a local legend. In 1987, local DJ Steve Cook recorded a song titled The Legend, which he wrote as sort of a joke for April Fool's Day. The idea was that he'd sing about this weird, ambiguous creature and tell stories of its attacks over the years. I don't really understand how that's a joke. But hey, whatever. Yeah, a lot of the victims are still alive.

Let's, why don't we give it a listen? I'm going to give you the laptop. so feel free to pause it at any point because there's a lot going on in the song okay cool i'm looking forward to this though it's not often that we get a case punctuated by cultural interpretation sometimes i guess we get like an artist interpretation but a musical interpretation that's interesting right learning history through song. Yeah. So I'm really hoping that we get some valuable insights from this and really hear about the local history. So the officer and I went out there to take a look at it. And I just tried to chew in around the doors. And I just tried to chew in around the doors.

And you could see a dog print, you know, alongside the window there. So it was, you know, obviously a dog. It's a good beat. It's a solid beat. I'm really feeling the age of this song already. It's a lot more melancholy than I thought it was going to be. A little offbeat there, but that's fine. The production value is not tremendous.

No, it has not been quantitized. A cool summer morning in early june is when the legend began at a nameless log in camp in wexford county where the manistee river ran 11 lumberjacks near the garland swamp found an animal okay it's barely a rap just right right off. How dare you, sir? How dare you? He's baring his soul. I think he just recorded himself telling the story and then after the fact added instruments and a beat. Yeah, there's not that much kind of rhythm and passion behind it. It's like the redneck version of mumble rap

where you're just kind of telling a story about a paranormal creature but you're like oh yeah Bigfoot in the woods man got a lot of shit going on you know it's like sorry it doesn't fit into your number one cookie cutter pop music it's uh

it defies genre that's for sure it's also four minutes long in a playful mood they chased it around It defies genre, that's for sure. All right. It's also four minutes long, so. In a playful mood, they chased it around until it ran inside a hollow log. First story? This is the first story? A longer name Johnson grabbed him a stick

and poked around inside. Then the thing let out an unearthly scream and came out. And stood upright. Pretty good, huh? I was waiting for the chorus to drop. None of those men ever said very much about whatever happened then.

They just packed up their belongings and left that night or never heard from again. It was ten years later in 97 when a farmer near Buckley was found slumped over his plow his heart had stopped there were dog tracks all around you didn't tell me this story a guy it murdered a guy we don't know what happened to the guy his heart stopped okay not because it was necessarily removed from his body with claws yeah this is look

we don't i don't have time to tell you all the stories well it feels like that's a pretty important one seeing as in one he just screamed like a baby yeah i left out there's a story uh coming up here where he uh stole a bus and drove it downtown for three hours in a police chase yeah seven years past the turn of the century, they say a crazy old widow had a dream of dogs that circled her house at night. They walked like men and screamed. That's why, yeah, that's why I left out some of those stories.

Because some of them are dreams, which seems like not very solid evidence to base a case on i mean the dog man isn't that active if 10 years after the first sighting okay it was implicated in the murder of one man then seven years later someone had a dream about it those are the two most notable cases they're really grasping at straws there and we're half we're halfway through the song there's still another two minutes plus to go we're already on to dream we're already 20 years after the first sighting somebody smelt him in a car park one night that was case number four 17 years later someone had a daydream about the bitch.

Instrumental breakdown here. Sure. In 1917, a sheriff who was out walking found a driverless wagon and tracks in the dust like wolves in his stocking. Near the roadside, a four-horse team laid dead with their eyes open wide. When the vet finished up his examination, he said it looked like they died of fright. In 37, a schooner captain said several crew members... So jumping ahead 17 years.

I called it 17 years later. ...had reported. A pack of wild dogs roman bowers harbor his story was never recorded i don't quite understand that one in 57 a man of the claw found claw marks on an old church door the newspaper said they've been made by a dog he'd have had to stood seven foot four he's thinking he's gonna say the line and then he just does it i like that dramatic pause yeah it's pretty good

yeah these claw marks are made by a dog a seven foot four dog did i mention in 67 a van load of hippies told a park ranger named quinlan They'd been awakened in the night by a scratch at the window. There was a dog man looking in and grinning. What? What? That could have been the wind. Nobody looked up there. Then in the summer of 87, near Luther, it happened again. At a cabin in the woods, it looked like maybe someone had tried to break in. There were cuts around the doors that could only been made by very sharp teeth and claws. He didn't wear shoes because he didn't have feet.

He walked on just two paws bit of a stretch of the rhyming scheme there how do i get from here to pause because i wouldn't really the the dog man is a terrifying beast like something out of bloodborne i would never describe what he has as paws yeah he also has a lot of very very defining characteristics one of which is not the absence of shoes you don't have to mention how how much he doesn't have shoes because he's got a lot of other things shoes because he didn't have feet he wore no top and he wore no pants he wore no clothes clothes at all. I'm just going to go ahead and say this song is five minutes 40.

It probably could have been two minutes. You probably could have left out the dream one. And we've had several cases now where people, I think, just found paws on the ground. I need the radio version of this single. So far this year, no stories have appeared have the dog men gone away have they disappeared dog men there's more than one dog there's been loads of them do you want to hear all these

stories about gangs of dog men walking around the street terrorizing people like a gang out of west side story but i thought whenever the the guy shot at them and they all scarpered i was getting uh like have you seen that movie what's it called like wolf walkers or something no it seems like something i should have watched before i did this case i mean no spoiler alert really but there's a lot of regular wolves and one or two pretty special wolves. And that's what I was picturing. Got it. Leader of the pack. Leader of the pack who has supernatural abilities.

Yeah, I mean, it changes story to story. Any story where there is a pack of wolves, as we saw, sometimes there's one dog man. But it feels like in some of these stories they're like they're just walking around all together okay well that's fair enough that makes me feel a lot better about the um massive time scale this has happened over soon enough i guess we'll know because this is the time to fear for another 10 years has come around the seventh year is here or another ten years has come around. The seventh year is here.

And somewhere in the Northwoods darkness, a creature walks upright. And the best advice you may ever get is don't go out at night. Musical break. We need another solo 30 seconds before the end of the song. I feel like he's wrapped up, but I feel like he might drop some lore. Okay, there's a wolf howl. That's important.

This is all important to the story. We can't skip any of this the youtube video ends with the uh frame reading comment below if you've had a dog man encounter are there any comments 62 whoa i don't know how many of those are legit sightings though i gotta be honest i'm still a bit uh still a bit cold on the idea of using this as evidence going forward well as i said the song was originally written as a april fool's joke so uh you know using it as hardcore evidence in the case feels a bit like a bit of an insult to the dog man himself but despite the song originally being intended as a joke after broadcasting the track the phone lines at the station started lighting up.

Callers from all over Michigan dialing in to tell Steve Cook that it's no joke. The creature he was describing in that song was real. Steve said, We started getting all kinds of calls from people who said, That's no joke. That's a real legend around here. Several of them said that they'd seen the beast with their own eyes. Jesus. Pretty crazy to have this song that you're kind of doing as a joke,

but you're doing it in a place where a lot of people genuinely believe that that happened. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're going to stir up a reaction for sure. Yeah, I guess you're right. A lot of the stories we talk about on this show that are considered, you know, myths by many people, even the most ancient ones, a lot of people still believe them to this day.

So I can see this happening with a lot of different cases we've covered that you go to make a light joke about it, maybe a little rap about vampires and the phone lines would be lit up with people pissed off that you're making fun of vampire culture this would kind of be the equivalent of going to a nursery filled with kids and rapping about santa claus you know it's like i was sitting alone one christmas night when i heard a knock at the chimney he had a big old sack full of toys and he was looking to give me and it's like okay don't joke about chris kringle okay because i have it on good authority this is the kid i have

it on good authority from my mom that he is real and if you don't believe in him you're not gonna get shit yeah and i feel like being in this room where we're all having a fun and a laugh about him that uh i feel like i might get taken off his list and so i'm gonna start putting my fingers in my ears one of the reasons that i like this this uh this approach towards the paranormal is because you know even though it was intended as a bit of a joke after they broadcast this the track became pretty much a number one song at the station people were calling in to request it all the time no they were selling cds and tapes of it all over america it is no melody of any kind no hook people but it doesn't need a hook because the truth doesn't need a hook kit the truth doesn't need to rhyme it's five and a half minutes long but it got me thinking

you know do i have a case that people don't take seriously from my life sure the dublin gorilla man and i've been trying to tell people about it for years but no one will take it seriously so the only logical thing for me to do god no was to write have you done a song write a rap about it so uh why did you just clear your throat ladies and gentlemen um why are you addressing the audience i'm excited to happen to uh to debut my new single called the dublin gorilla man uh to hopefully raise some awareness about this terrifying beast. Oh, my God. Let's do this.

Let me tell you all about the time I saw Gorilla Man. Oh, my God. I was only a boy. But it's pretty f***ed up what happened. What is his voice? 15 years I've been alive. Down to Dublin. That's quite enough okay you've said quite enough i think there is four more courses and like the verses that really get into the details though absolutely not dublin gorilla no i don't want to hear another

lyric okay you've had your chance in the past to discuss this case and we have given you more than enough time and space to discuss it and get your feelings out about it i don't know why you don't just go to a therapist i really just like this i don't know why you don't go to anyone else but me about this i feel like if you just let me finish the song then it would kind of be like a it's like a therapy way of like getting the story out there no because the people who hear this will need therapy right it's just i paid i paid a lot of money for um for one guest artists to appear in like the second half so it's just a bit of a waste if i don't who did you get as a guest on this track for For the first verse, Kanye. There's no way.

The second, Nelly. I blew most of my money on Kanye. Such an incongruous lineup on this track. I wish I'd started with the Nelly course because that would have teed up the Kanye one. For chart potential, you could have just ditched Nelly and just stuck with Kanye. Well, I already got Nelly involved and it was kind of rude to say, Kanye agreed, Nelly, we don't need you to do the song anymore. Uh, I can't say that he's already recorded it. He actually recorded more than I needed and sent it over. Um, did Kanye rap about the Dublin gorilla man? Yeah. Yeah, he did. He didn't have a lot of time for me to brief him

on like the story and stuff. So it kind of like the second half just turns out to be a lot about like money and bitches and things. So that was kind of hard for me to tie. I prefer to hear that. No, no, no. Well, you just did whatever that was. I think he says gorilla once and then it's mostly about drugs and money. But but the Nelly course, you're going to love the Nelly course. He pretty much recites the whole story start to finish. um so if you just i can tee it up here actually

that's enough you have misused your laptop too many times first you exposed me to the dog man song now you expose me to the gorilla man song no more laptop laptop privileges revoked wow i guess i don't know folks maybe i have like a backup tape somewhere that i could release um maybe at a live show that would be fine do like a live performance of the gorilla man song we usually like to tell that story at live shows anyway so maybe i'll just wrap it instead to save time. Five minutes, 40 of instrumental breaks versus unreleased stories from that day. Can you imagine hearing that there's a This Paranormal live show, like a tour across America? You, me and Nelly doing a world tour. Well, I know on this podcast, what we love and what we lack the most is evidence

especially in cryptid cases because let's face it the problem with these cases is a lot of the time the evidence that we do have could have often been caused by regular animals even in the incredible track that we heard earlier not mine i know there were two incredible tracks but the first one sure uh the former a lot of the stories that were mentioned in that song are just someone finding paw prints yeah not to drag it up again but one was a dream we're not talking about the dream i wish i hadn't included the dream. I could have cut that out, which is because like 45 minutes of my rap are dreams and nightmares. So I really shouldn't have mentioned that.

Yeah, because actually seeing the Dublin Gorilla Man was like fleeting, super fast. We covered it. You let me say it all. The rest of it is dreams and nightmares. The rest of his impact in your life is just trauma, nightmares yeah lying in bed dreams in my head i'm a banana running in a field yeah it's mostly like me being a banana wake up in

a cold sweat piss myself again thinking about the gorilla man wake up in a cold sweat again except this time it wasn't sweat it was piss piss myself again got to work piss my pants sweat it was piss piss myself again got to work piss my pants gorilla man's in my head ppp this monkey so okay so most of it is you pissing yourself and having bad dreams as an adult saw a banana piss myself while searching online i managed to find some evidence that claims to be unedited audio of an emergency call received by the OnStar Emergency Call Center in Troy, Michigan from 2006, only 15 years ago. Wow. This is as real as it gets. If another beat drops in this episode, I'm going to lose it. 999, what's your emergency? Let me tell you. If you don't tell me what your emergency is, I have to hang up. Grab my gun off my shelf in the dark.

Piss myself. Okay. No, that's not an emergency, sir. It's a bathroom emergency. All right. Get ready. Get ready. I'm ready for some evidence.

Best believe. Officer, emergency. This is Kyle speaking. How can I help you? Okay. Hello? Something just ran in front of us down the road. We're in the ditch.

We rolled over. How many people are in the car? I rolled in. Is anyone injured? There's two of us. I don't think we have any injuries. Is the car on its top or wheels or what? No, it's kind of sitting on its side. Hold one moment, please, while I contact emergency services.

Okay. Okay, the state police should be on their way in a few minutes. Is everyone still okay? Yeah, I think we're okay. What ran in front of you? A deer? i don't know what the hell it was but it was big it looked like a great big dog standing up was it a bear maybe maybe i sir hello what just happened sir okay then i think it does go into a rap to be fair in the second half of that video that's got to be the most action-packed piece of evidence i think we've ever uh revealed on the podcast i think the dog man went back and made him redact his statement to the

police he was like do you out me you not you ratted on me you just lost your throat privileges hole heart revoked um now i will say uh me claiming that this is unedited unedited audio of an emergency call well i mean it started segwaying into a rap track so it's somewhat yeah and i think the rap is let me skip forward a little bit please don't go out tonight night. What the f*** is this? This is a different rap. That was a different rap. He made a sequel. The best advice you may ever get. It's an acoustic version of the legend.

Please don't go out at night. It's the same. So it's the same rap, but a different beat. But there's also two minutes left. What else is in this video? No, no, we can't. no. We can't listen to this. Okay, then there's three minutes of silence afterwards. He's trying to get played on the country music radio stations as well.

Then there's that EDM version. Raise those f***ing paws up! Dub, man. Raise those f***ing paws up! Wow, I really didn't realize that music and rapping was going to be such a huge part of this investigation. But here we are. It's the YouTube video uploaded from a stranger that claims that this is an actual recording from the emergency services. Okay.

So we have to take that with a pinch of salt. It seems a little-packed a little too action-packed to be genuine i mean the guy who had supposedly just rolled his car started laughing as he described the dog man well as you would because you'd be like you're not gonna believe this buddy guess what i saw he almost died i wouldn't think he'd be laughing. Look, that pretty much concludes the evidence portion of today's case. But as we know, we wouldn't be. Sorry. Is it something funny? Your evidence portion was a prank call.

It was a prank call, a rap, and some borderline furry hentai that i showed you as evidence at the start of the podcast i mean this is how they rock it down in michigan i gotta spend some time there because i like the approach i really gotta clap that one out if you like that you're gonna really love my next case which is a horny octopus there's some really really good evidence for that one. Because a guy made a mixtape about that shit. It's a 14-track, 12-rapper feature album. I was floating in the ocean. And my butthole was exposed. Okay, you said quite enough, sir.

I don't think we need to hear any more of that rap. No hentai could have predicted the danger that was posed. Jesus Christ. The one f***ing case that Amy didn't research. This is what it descends to. I think she's quit. She doesn't want to be affiliated with this. Look, we know we're not

doing a proper job if we don't look at even consider or entertain the logical explanations behind this story sure to start off the local dj who wrote the song the legend claims that he believes that the legend of the dog man and his frightening iconic appearance could have stemmed from Native American lore. He says that there was this warlike tribe that allegedly had the ability to transform themselves into any creature they chose when going into battle. Cook said what the tribe probably did is cover themselves with wolf pelts while preparing to fight. Could those legends have been embedded in the folklore and the history and the upbringing of people in Michigan to the point where maybe it's not so crazy to see some sort of dog-like human wandering in the forests? Fascinating. This does definitely cry back to our investigation into skinwalkers and things like that. These Native American medicine men

gone mad, possessed by demons, corrupted. And they would wear like wolf pelts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was a popular bit of attire. So I could kind of see that if maybe that kind of imagery is embedded in the history of your town. Totally. Then, yeah, maybe it's not so strange. I mean, you know, we really should think about these things more just because the United States of America has this, you know, couple hundred year old history. We think that everything's been whitewashed and started from scratch, but goddamn, it makes a lot more sense if all these modern myths are obviously just embedded in the local folklore. Exactly.

Others believe that the Dogman is simply a wolf or some sort of wolf hybrid that because of some incident in its life, it's missing a forelimb, meaning it had to learn how to move upright to survive. That's very logical. It's running around on two legs is what they're saying because it doesn't have front paws i mean is that a weird is that that weird i feel like i've seen dodo videos where a cat has lost its paws and now it walks about like a human it does happen it does happen very occasionally with dogs yeah and cats yeah so maybe that's not as weird as you think that this thing has kind of learned to what i don't think it's just learned to stand up

yeah i don't know if it's gotten uh if it explains the story of the man shooting a warning shot and this wolf stands up on his hind legs scared of of nothing. Smiled at him. Smiling with glistening blue eyes. Yeah, doesn't quite explain the like screaming like a baby either. Some of the stories that are included in that original song. I don't know how it can enter people's dreams, for example. That's pretty paranormal. But as I said, you know, if we want to do the responsible thing, we have to at least entertain some of these logical explanations.

And what if, Rory, something we don't talk about often enough, what if all of the above is true? What if one person has heard the folklore and they've got it into their head that way? What if one person sees a wolf missing a front paw for some reason running through the woods? And then those two people get together and talk about their experiences and decide that it must be the same thing. And it concocts the image of the Michigan Dog Man when in reality, it's two very separate experiences. Yeah. I mean, as we said, this story began in the late 1800s where, you know, wild dogs were a thing. Attacking livestock, stalking humans, leaving paw prints and scratches on stuff if you already have some folklore involving some sort of wolf man uh possibly a wolf that's been injured and

can move about on its back legs and all these attacks and weird markings yeah all of those things combined together is really what the the michigan dogman is and i think that teases up for a very smart well thought out conclusion kit yay or nay paranormal or not what do you think about the michigan dogman as excited as i am to receive evidence in the form of rap uh it says a lot about the status of the evidence in this case that there isn't enough concrete stuff to say that this thing exists today and is running around harassing the locals of michigan so i guess for me it has to be a no yeah as you said quite an exciting case but let's face it if the backbone of your evidence is a rap and dreams,

then the creature involved probably doesn't exist. If that's what you're having to resort to. Yeah, it's an excellent example of a beautiful, alive and living folklore and myth, but not exactly great evidence of a physical beast. Yeah, and I think that's where we're landing here with the double no folks but uh thank you so much to everyone for emailing in that suggestion i can't believe it took us so long to get to that one i mean if i'd heard the rap on

day one y'all should have said have you got raps supporting your cases you want us to cover 100 or if you want to record your own freestyle rap and send them in that would be great we would love to play them on the show and laugh about them i actually am always looking for more artists to collaborate with in um future verses of the dublin gorilla man uh please don't please don't encourage him really when you come when it boils down to it it's it's an album it's a full album and it's the first track would be getting to dublin rory's family have contacted me and insisted that i get make him move past this it's a psychological like roadblock he hasn't been able to move past it we really think that if people stop encouraging him uh in the believing in the dublin gorilla man that he'll be able to move on the rest of his life they will be able to stop wetting his bed.

Hope fingers crossed. Not there yet. Not there yet. But we're getting there. I mean, the sad thing is off camera, I could say this, but he's recorded nigh on 1100 raps about the Dublin Gorilla Man.

I've spent a lot of money. I've spent a lot of money on studio time and guest artists and PR and it's really not picking up. Really, people are not. I don't know what

it is is there not enough nelly in it because i'm paying the dude two g's a day just to lay down some he's in 90 of the songs you're putting nelly's kids through college for him to write lazy verses about the dublin gorilla man yeah i was done with the the song in the event years ago but nelly is like i really think we need to drop another we need to drop another single about it about the Dublin Gorilla Man. Yeah, I was done with the song and the event years ago, but Nelly is like, I really think we need to drop another, we need to drop another single about it. He's president of the Dublin

Gorilla Awareness Association. I'm starting to think the original Gorilla Man was Nelly in a monkey outfit. It was a 25 year grift. It was weird that he approached me about an album right after I saw the gorilla man. So that was kind of strange.

If you did enjoy the gorilla man rap for the love of God, please do not search for it on the internet. Instead for search for the real band that kid and I have a team RKT where we make real music that hopefully you will really enjoy. We've released a couple of new singles recently that we've played on the show and there's some really cool ones as well coming out super soon so yeah check it out on social media and Instagram or

whatever give it a listen on Spotify Team RKT as you know folks the best way to support the show is Patreon.com where you can get a bunch of cool shit like bonus episodes and merchandise uh we also have the this paranormal life store which is pretty great you can get some amazing t-shirts there all of which can be accessed uh as i found out recently without the use of a

wizard sacrifice you can just you know we're not gonna get into that straight in a pending i'm not supposed to be talking about that really really. So definitely check it out. But if you want to keep up to date with this paranormal life, the latest paranormal memes, all of the behind the scenes action, the best place to do that is on social media, on Instagram, on Twitter, on Facebook and our secret society. All of the links will be in the description of the podcast. So check them out. So thank you so much to everyone for listening to this week's episode of the podcast.

I hope you had a great time. I hope you enjoyed everything from the evidence to the pictures to the rap. Get your drum machines warmed up. We want to hear fire raps, fire beats. I want to hear fire in the booth about your cryptid of choice. That would be hilarious. That would be great. Who knows?

It might even get played on an episode of the podcast. Maybe a bonus episode. We can just critique everyone's paranormal raps. That would be amazing. To play us out this week is my main man, Nelly, dropping some hot beats. So thank you everyone for listening to this week's episode of this paranormal life oh yo let me tell you about the dublin gorilla man