This Paranormal Life - #236 Halloween Special - We Bought a Cursed Voodoo Doll

Episode Date: October 26, 2021

Welcome to another This Paranormal Life HALLOWEEN SPECIAL! On this weeks episode, Rory decides to step things up a notch and buy a cursed voodoo doll on eBay to unbox LIVE on the podcast... it goes just as badly as you can imagine.Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL MerchFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityAdvertise on This Paranormal Life via Gumball.fmEdited by Kami TomanResearch by Amy GrisdaleIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a This Paranormal Life Halloween episode! Welcome listeners to a very special This Paranormal Life Halloween episode. Now we don't have an episode that's landing directly on Halloween. This is the closest one that we do have. This is all you're getting. Is it the 26th today? That's right. That's pretty close.

So you have an option ahead of you. You can listen. Go ahead. Fine. Open your presents early. Or you can do the honorable thing and wait until October 31st. I do think a lot of people will have plans, though, on the 31st, right? Well, they should have plans to listen to the episode because it's a pretty special episode.

I put a lot of work into it. It's actually, I don't want to get anyone too excited, but there's a bit of another element to it this week. Maybe a bit of a physical investigation. Ooh, okay. Yeah. Trick or treating. We put a Zoom microphone in a pumpkin and go door to door for three hours asking for candy. Is Rory verbally harassing people and eventually getting arrested. Uh, no, we are not going to go trick or treating. Although I do wish we had some candy. Can we get some candy up in here?

I mean, it's my high school. She just asked me. Look, whether you decide to listen to it today or whether you decide to wait to Halloween, doesn't matter. You're going to enjoy the episode regardless. It's 2004 and we're in texas a woman who we'll call ashley was on ebay looking for some spooky shit to buy as as you do as a real halloween fiend does some people to be fair like i think we've said it before on the podcast because every day for us is spooky season

sometimes we don't even notice halloween come. But to be fair, some people do live and breathe all things Halloween. Yeah, every day of the year is buying spooky shit. I got a lot of respect for those people. For those who don't know, on eBay, you can buy a wide selection of alleged paranormal objects, cursed dolls, old artifacts, spell books. But Ashley found something that caught her eye. Something cute and colorful. The description said it was an 100% real haunted zombie voodoo doll. Whoa. It even came with its own miniature little coffin. This thing has died? Ashley hit buy it now as fast as she could and waited eagerly for her creepy purchase to arrive. After days of waiting, finally a package arrived at the door. She opened it up to find the doll resting inside its tiny coffin just as described.

Man, everything we've ever covered about cursed items, about cursed mummies, about ancient cursed artifacts tells me to not open this package. I know they say good things come in small packages, but I don't think that a coffin can technically be considered a package. Bad things come in small coffins, I think is the Halloween version. Don't open coffins. It's just a good rule of thumb. Rule to live your life by, sure. Don't open coffins. Don't f*** with mummies.

This Paranormal Life handbook. She opened the coffin and the doll was there. It was beautiful. She proudly put it on display in her house and every time she glanced at it, she couldn't help but smile. But little did Ashley know, she was about to get more than she bargained for.

She should have known. She absolutely should have known. What did she think was going to happen? It was just going to be a cute doll? You're trying to tell me that this 100% real haunted zombie voodoo doll has strings attached? I don't understand. In this context, I don't want it to be 100 authentic i

want it to be a replica because then there won't be any curses attached to the zombie doll i'll take 98 authentic one evening just weeks after the doll had arrived she was in bed reading a book suddenly she started to hear a tapping noise coming from downstairs it was almost like a tree branch hitting the window. In case it was an animal or something more sinister, she decided to head down and investigate. But when she opened her bedroom door, there on the floor at her feet was the voodoo doll.

Oh boy. How did you get here? she asked, looking down at the doll. Thinking there might be an intruder in the house who had moved the doll, she tucked it under her arm and crept downstairs as quietly as possible. But after checking every room, she found absolutely nothing. So she popped the doll back on the dresser and went back to bed. For several weeks, the same thing kept happening. She'd hear scuffling or tapping noises.

Then discover the little voodoo doll on the floor away from where she'd last put it. Ashley has to know that is not acceptable. Unless she has a large dog or a toddler that could be moving this thing, for that to happen more than once is completely unacceptable. Yeah, maybe once, I don't know, the thing falls. Wind. Yeah, it don't know the thing falls wind yeah it falls off the thing the wind blows it uh maybe bad memory maybe you did leave it outside your bedroom door on the third or fourth night this thing is toy story it's toy story this doll is coming to life and having adventures in the nighttime it's playing f***ing squid game when your back is turned it runs and then as soon as you look it drops down like woody

and toy story you need to shoot it you need to shoot it imagine you just caught the doll sprinting out of the corner of your eye that would be so disconcerting. And then it just freezes and you're like... It's not okay if you're standing still. You shouldn't be able to stand at all. I can see you sweating. You're sweating and panting. This doll's just like... You stopped, sure, but there's a lot of other creepy shit going on.

You're not, like, camouflaged. I can still see you. The next day they found the doll with a cookie and a needle. I don't know what prize you're trying to achieve. Like if you want my soul, you can't have it. At least we now have an idea of how this doll died to begin with and ended up in a coffin. As I said, Ashley was starting to get seriously freaked out, but honestly didn't know what to do.

Things only got worse in the house. At times it felt like the doll was following her. One afternoon, Ashley was sweeping outside of her porch when she suddenly felt a stinging sensation on her leg. Ah! She put down the broom and glanced down at her ankle. There were three distinct claw marks on her leg. She put down the broom and glanced down at her ankle. There were three distinct claw marks on her leg. What? Where the hell did those come from? You have raccoons living in your house,

I think. Turning around, her heart stopped when she saw the doll sitting on the ground behind her. on the ground behind her. No. Like, this is obviously, obviously grounds for putting the doll in the bin and taking the bins outside. At this point, physical harm, psychological damage,

maybe that's a little bit harder to prove to people. But if you're like, this thing just sliced me. Yeah. This little thing is sitting on my bedside table at night with a butterfly knife

flicking it as it watches me sleep that's not okay anymore my house now has knife crime that is what do you do you can't exactly call the cops on a little doll no you just this is where you get the benefit of this doll not being a human or animal and you murder it because that's legal. Right. You can smash it with a hammer. Yeah. Put it in a fire. Run it over with a car. Whatever it takes. You don't need to call G.I. Joe and Barbie and Ken to come over and arrest it. You don't need to use toys on toys. No.

You're a man or a woman. you can just batter this thing to death for days the attacks continued she was being bitten and scratched by an unseen force around the clock it's not an unseen force i guess she's not seeing it because it's behind her but she knows what it is this thing thing is like a f***ing ninja. No, it's not. Because all she has to do is look around and it's, again, flopped on like Woody on the ground with a f***ing butter knife lodged in her ankle. It's never been caught red-handed. It has.

Look. Its hands have got her blood on them. Can you be arrested if you're just at the scene of every crime? I think so. Even if you weren't caught with your hand on the weapon? That's a real question. I need to know this. I need to know this because I've been going back to a lot of them.

Well, if you've been going back, that insinuates that you committed the crime in the first place. I didn't say that. Nobody said that you uh committed the crime in the first place i didn't say that nobody said that you said you went back you didn't say you're i've been going to a lot of scenes of crime sorry i misspoke you said i've been going back to the scenes of lots of crimes okay so we've established you caused the crime i never said that i just like going i like to keep up to date with um just what's going on in the neighborhood just just how things are going on. What, crimes in the neighborhood? Well, just see how the boys in blue are doing, yeah.

So I turn up and say, any leads, officer? And just to see what's going on in their heads, to see if they're close to catching me, or him, or them, her. Catching you. Or anyone, whoever possibly committed the crime. It's obviously you. Any leads?

Did anyone say he had blonde hair and stunning blue eyes just weird shit like that you know it's not weird well it is weird but it's obvious and then i'll like suggest some culprits to like throw them off the case like you sometimes okay not throw them again that was wording, not throw them off the case, because I don't know the goddamn case. I don't think they ever believed that for a second, because no one has ever contacted me, whereas you've been taken to the police station

many times in the last month. It's true. It's true. Just being pushed into the back of a police car. What about that kit guy, though? Way too late. Way too late to say any of that. I'll see you at the next one, Officer Jenkins. Being arrested. Ashley's injury steadily got worse and eventually at one point got so deep she had to go to hospital for treatment. This is Ashley, buddy. I'm trying to help you here. Now, obviously, Ashley knew she

could no longer display the demonic little doll, but rather than throwing it away and releasing it into the world, she stuffed it back into its little coffin and locked it in her basement. Credit where credit is due, that should be fine for a doll. There's got to be a reason why it came in that coffin, right? Maybe that's like a little containment unit or something. Yeah. Put it in that, put it in the basement fingers crossed problem solved i feel like i need to gift ashley like marie condo's

book the life-changing magic of tidying up like this shit does not spark joy like sparks fear the bar for throwing something out of your house should be like um it's a bit boring and i've had it for too long you know what it it hospitalized. If I had a pair of socks that hospitalized me, I think I'd still have them in my wardrobe. But like I say, this is a start. I am happy to see that she has realized the doll is a problem and is starting to do something about it. Over the coming weeks, Ashley was tormented by the sound of evil cackling coming from behind the heavy basement doors. It turned out, even with the doll locked away in the basement, she still wasn't safe. Cackling? This thing is laughing at her now?

The doll started haunting her in the only place it now could, her dreams. Oh my lord. only place it now could her dreams oh my lord this little bastard was tormenting her in the day haunting her at night it's freddy krueger it is able to tap into the dream dimension there's no what do you do now what do you do now decapitate it and eat the fluff inside burn it i think it can be in dreams kit that is worrying to be fair because my go-to might have been i don't know throw it off a cliff but worrying to think that now there is some kind of soul bond right maybe by scratching ashley and drawing blood it's now bonded to her and no matter what she does hides it puts it in a coffin puts in her

basement locks it away it seems to now be able to get her yeah now ashley is inception style having to use little spinning tops just to find out if the doll's in the basement or behind her about a garotter i'm starting to think she is now to reference a previous episode in its pocket dimension oh the pocket dimension, this thing is just chuckling from the basement. Hey, get in me pocket. Oh, wait, y'all really are in me pocket. At this point, she knew something had to be done. It was time to kill the doll. Of course. Ashley grabbed a knife from the kitchen and tried to cut the doll into pieces. I like this. Try putting it in a NutriBullet.

Another good option, because the knife didn't work. Whatever this thing was made of, it wouldn't cut. Oh my. So instead, she tried burying it. She dug a deep hole in her garden. It's already dead. It doesn't fear being buried. I think it is very much alive by the sounds of things.

She dug a deep hole in her garden, threw the doll in, and filled it back up with soil. But when she opened the door to leave the house the next day, there it was, covered in dirt! It got out Kill Bill style. It one inch punched its way out of the earth. There was nothing else she could do. She had no choice but to relist the voodoo doll on eBay. How is that the final step after trying to kill it? Look, maybe this is how it got offloaded onto her. Right.

This doll could have been causing havoc through person in person. And the only way to get rid of it is to pass it on to the next victim. So you're saying, in Ashley's case, when Ashley won the auction, the eBay seller was at home going, I'm free! Ha ha ha! I'm free! Yeah, yeah. Duct taping this little guy's mouth shut and FedExing it across the country. They knew the curse had been lifted from them.

So that's exactly what she did. Real haunted voodoo doll. One previous owner. Condition, slightly used. Slightly buried, slightly cut, and yet mint. Condition. Unbelievably, the thing sold in a flash. And Ashley giddily wrapped it up and sent it off to its new owner.

But after receiving five-star feedback, the buyer sent her another message to say that the purchase had gone missing from her house. Ashley's blood ran cold. She hurried to the front door and threw it open. There on the front porch was the doll. There on the front porch was the doll. Five stars.

Quick delivery. Item description was perfect. One small thing. As soon as I opened it, like the gingerbread man, it jumped out of the box and sprinted north. I can't fault you. The doll is beautiful. As soon as I opened the little coffin, though, it did slap me and run away through the cat flap well she wasn't gonna give up just with one try this time she packaged the doll up as tightly as she could using almost an entire

roll of tape but when the ebay buyer received the parcel for the second time they said the box was somehow empty and you guessed it the voodoo doll had somehow made its way back to ashley's house this thing is magneto it needs to be bound like hannibal lector in some kind of right like a mask underground facility run by the cia 10 foot thick steel walls like akira kind of world destroying weapon buried at the bottom of the mariana trench yeah this thing is it's op at this point because i'm assuming it's getting back to ashley's house via some form of paranormal magic i don't think it's thumbing down a greyhound bus and hop doing a little cross-country trip back to ashley's house i don't know how i don't know how this is happening yeah it'd be interesting to know the time scale but it does sound like it's quite fast yeah and there's no

like tiny little bus passes or plane tickets in its pockets well given that the new buyer said i don't know where it's gone, which presumably just happened. And then Ashley threw open the door and it was already back at her house. Would indicate it's not, as you say, taking the Greyhound bus. Right. Yeah, yeah. Or else when the doll is there, he's like, hey, I'm going to run away. Don't, don't, don't email her for like a couple of days because I want to be, I want to be out the front when she gets the email. The element of surprise will be incredible.

This person's like, I don't, I didn't even know you could talk. I just, I thought you were a doll. Do I get my money back or something? Nah, I'm the f***ing devil. Okay.

Cool. I didn't want the devil. I'm going to phone her up. Ashley, you sent me the devil. Did you know that when you listed the doll? Get off the phone. The devil's here. Like, what does he eat?

Should I feed him? Or like, will he be okay? Is he like one of those dolls that like eats berries from a spoon and then shits? Does the devil shit, Ashley? I need to know if I need baby devil diapers. Tell her I'll see her soon. No, that's two. That's two on the nose.

Tell her, watch those pretty little ankles. No, don't say that either. Would you mind workshopping with me, Craig? I need to come up with the perfect comeback. At this point, there was only one thing left to do. Ashley concluded that she had no option but to call in a priest. The priest came in. He said a blessing over the doll.

Probably should have been a curse and told her to box it up and keep it down in the basement and that's where the doll remains to this day silently locked away in that basement like Hannibal Lecter itself yeah and it seems like that's worked there's no more cackling there's's no more nighttime attacks or dream hauntings. Whatever this priest did seems to have worked. And the doll's been subdued. Wow. Yeah. It's funny, like you mentioned, her getting a priest in to look at the doll and try and do something about it.

It actually gives you a new appreciation. I think it's always like a funny point in our stories when the priest comes in and like like tries to do the exorcism because it feels kind of goofy in our modern age but actually this story really makes you feel grateful that there still are people in society who you can call when you think something's cursed yeah that hasn't happened to me yet but i like the safety net in society that if i do think something's cursed i can call the priest and he won't laugh at me he will hopefully come around and help me yeah because calling calling a priest to banish a demon seems quite insane if you're someone who just lives a normal everyday life but if you're in an insane situation it doesn't seem so weird anymore all of a sudden yeah if you're like

trying to tell all your friends like look this doll that i got on ebay is cutting me up yeah and tormenting my dreams they're gonna have some questions they're not gonna be helpful but uh it's nice to know that yeah as you said there is an avenue where someone could be like oh yeah haunted doll um i've got one of those booked in this week but maybe monday next week i could i could i could fit fit you in pencil you in uh cool and avada kedavra i don't know what he's gonna say or do i was about to say we're not in anything i was about to say may the passion of christ compel you that's wrong as well double check your priest make sure they got the qualifications and they didn't just buy the collar off of ebay I like to think that, you know, when some crazy disaster happens, like, I don't know,

a landslide and they need firemen and people like that and first aid workers to go in and like retrieve people and stuff. We always have like a renewed appreciation for those people, don't we? It's like, wow, we got to do, we got to put a big celebration on for the firefighters and thank them for saving us all of course i like to think that that day is still coming for priests who do exorcisms that yeah yeah like 10 years will be like man i gotta say as a society we didn't see the that ghost army coming from space right but thank god we had uh the church there to help us in that dire moment so yeah let's all let's all give our local priest a pat on the back.

There's going to be like a whole month where every Tuesday we all go out on our balconies and clap for the exorcists. We're like, without those guys, the demon wars would have ended very differently. So mad prep. Good shit guys. Now what we're looking at in this first story is two things really.

First is just a doll that is haunted and the second is one that's also designed for voodoo now we all probably have at least a broad understanding of what a voodoo doll is from western media alone it's a small effigy often used to inflict pain or influence on a target, often by inserting pins into the doll. But it's actually a lot more complex than that. So I thought today what we could do is do a bit of a deep dive into the history of voodoo. Oh, very cool. Because actually turns out I didn't know a lot about it at all, really. No, me neither. Voodoo is an ancient magical art going back at least 400 years and is still practiced in countries across the globe to this day, especially in Haiti, New Orleans, and Africa. Generally speaking, practitioners of voodoo

believe in a whole host of divine beings called the Loa. I think that's how it's pronounced. They're called upon through various rites and rituals ranging from just playing drums and dancing to making blood sacrifices quite a gamut they're running there there's a big difference between those two rights i would say you got to know which one you're signing up for before you rsvp to the facebook invite yeah i mean if you like hey go come on down to the voodoo ceremony me and the boys are going to the club tonight it's like oh cool for some dancing dancing yes also blood sacrifices okay i'm probably not gonna come then to be fair i think

it's mostly animal blood sacrifices it's barely better isn't it oh that's okay then uh but you know when you go back 400 years things get a little ambiguous people people were a little wilder in the olden days sometimes if they couldn't find a goat they'd use a small man you put a horns on a dude now that that is a goat turns out in the olden days you drink drink enough f***ing rum water that anyone starts to look like an animal. If you squint hard enough. If you dance long enough. Anyone starts looking like a goat. You drink enough blood.

Anyone starts. So there already is blood? Yeah. We sacrifice the goat, drink the goat's blood, get loopy enough to kill a guy who looks like a goat. Honestly, we'll settle for anyone whose name starts with G. But what about voodoo dolls specifically? Well, that one is actually kind of complicated. Some people say that they aren't actually a part of voodoo practice.

But then again, there are real voodoo rituals that involve dolls. So who really knows? Interesting. voodoo rituals that involve dolls so who really knows interesting but there is evidence to suggest that what we would call a voodoo doll is actually more of a european pagan thing than a haitian voodoo doll oh interesting so you think that's something that's been kind of put on them yeah i think you know our understanding what a voodoo doll is probably comes from a lot of pop culture and Western media. You know, Indiana Jones, you know, the voodoo doll where you twist its little neck and someone goes, oh, my neck. You know, that kind of reaction. I think the reality of it and the origins of it are probably quite different from what we've seen in movies and TV.

from what we've seen in movies and TV. Yeah, I kind of have it in my mind that, because I worked on a book a long time ago back in my publishing days that talked about voodoo and stuff like that. And I seem to remember they at least have like little idols and figures and stuff like that. Yeah. And I don't, I think that was it.

It doesn't necessarily mean they were sticking pins in them, but they definitely use that as part of their practice, right? They're a little like. Little effigies. Yeah. I think is a big part of it. It's actually really interesting. And I had a lot of fun reading up about voodoo kind of as a belief and as a religion. And you, you realize that, I mean, it's kind of my own ignorance to think voodoo is you get a pin you put it in the doll and it makes somebody sore um but as we'll go on to learn it's not always about uh inflicting pain or injuries on someone else the rites and the rituals that you perform is also you know to ask for blessing

to ask for like you know like any other religion you're kind of like talking to the gods. Yeah. It's fair to say that in popular media, it's been cast as this kind of like satanic cult where all they do is bad things when, as you say, it's a real religion. Yeah, absolutely. Now I know that all of this sounds quite complicated. I'm painting with a very broad brush. So I think we could simplify it all down to the easiest level, because what we want to basically understand is how to properly use a voodoo doll. And what better way to find out how than a wiki how article? There is actually a wiki how article on how to use a voodoo doll. I thought we could run through it together, please. I thought we could run through it together.

Please. I like how we went from trying to be like, respectfully talk about the religion itself to being like, anyway, those guys didn't sum it up neatly enough for me. So let's go to wikiHow.com. You know, I don't think, I think this wikiHow article is relatively in tune with the accurate beliefs.

Oh yeah, I'm only rousing you. I just imagine it's going to be quite succinct. It is. It's very, it's boiled down to... In the wiki house style, you know. There are bullet points, sure. Although voodoo dolls are sometimes thought to be used to bring about negative side effects,

it says the voodoo dolls can also be used for good in your own life or in the lives of others For love healing protection and success just to name a few I could do with that last one. Uh, first off what you need to do is clear your voodoo doll Before you plan to use your voodoo doll, you will need to clear it of all previous energy Thus neutralizing it and giving you a clean slate to perform actions on it. That makes sense. To do this, place your hand over the object and direct your energy through it,

focusing on making it new and pure. That sounds a little bit complex, and I don't really have the confidence to know if I could pull that off. So it says you can also just wash your doll in salt water. Okay. Or allow natural light such as sunlight or moonlight to cleanse it. Next step, you need to concentrate on your desires. While holding your voodoo doll, focus on the desired effect you hope that it will bring.

Sudden intention. That makes sense. Step number three. And this was a new one to me. I think a lot of people won't know this. Use different colored pins. Oh. There are traditionally seven colored pins that you can use to indicate areas of your life that you want to focus on. The head represents things that have to do with knowledge. The heart is used for emotions and the stomach is used for gut feelings or intuition. So if you desire power in your life or in a friend's life use the red pin

to prick the head of your dick on the doll if you want a mighty wang put all they're like the infinity stones put all seven pins if you desire love use the blue pin to prick the heart just so we have a little bit of a cheat sheet here's the different colors of pins and what they symbolize yellow means success green money moolah baby checks on white healing you said like the other day on the podcast you had like really bad hemorrhoids so if you had a voodoo doll I think that was off the record bud

I don't think I said that on the mic oh right sorry I thought it was I thought it was public knowledge you can just cut it from the episode so just yeah let's just gloss over that one sorry yeah

red power so if you needed like the power to overcome the hemorrhoids yeah because you were saying they're really good like i said i don't want to i don't want to air it on the pod obviously so like just find any other example for power or healing other than cool my raging hemorrhoids because like there is there is like treatments for that anyway which is like well hell they're not working but try to normally yeah it's fine whatever it's fine i'm going to the doctor after this to get like a course of

antibiotics and like i think that'll work well hopefully with enough green money the treatment will be yellow successful dude you gotta there's any other a number of things you can make right like i feel like it's gonna be really hard to cut out the fact that i have hemorrhoids well don't keep saying it on the podcast well you're using it as an example for everything all right uh fine uh blue means love and i know you'd love for your diarrhea to stop as well that one wasn't about the hemorrhoids yeah but it's a side effect of the hemorrhoids so like it's it's gonna i don't think it is by the way it's for continuity well when you take as much hemorrhoid medication as i take you're gonna be shitting for days like but i've seen you just push the medication into breakfast burritos

and eat them i think that is probably what's causing the diarrhea i don't think it's because you're having so much hemorrhoid well the hemorrhoid like nothing's working so i'm having to take it with every meal snack and drink that i can they're all burritos they're all breakfast burritos have any other type of food if you think that it's that it would help we don't need to talk about it because it's not going to stay in the episode and you're just making it really hard to cut around this if you keep bringing it up as examples okay sorry purple purple is spirituality that's really cool because i've been on my hands and knees praying to get these hemorrhoids out of my ass. So now you're bringing up the hemorrhoids. You told me not to bring them up.

I gotta be honest. It's dominating my life at this point. Well, then you're gonna love black repelling negative energies. It's too late to repel. I need an exorcism. I need a priest to look at my asshole an assorcism which they won't agree to they will agree to exercise demons but they won't agree to look into the chasm of my ass you can't turn out to a church until the priest your ass is haunted that's the quickest way to get excommunicated. Now these colored pins can be used on a voodoo doll for yourself or for someone else for good. You know, if I want you

to have more power, if I want me to have more power, whoever I'm targeting, I use the pins. Hopefully that blessing comes to me. As we know, they can also be used for evil. For example, if you wish to exert power over an individual, use the red pin. Focus on the power you want the individual to submit to and prick the voodoo doll of the individual in the head. Oh, okay. So it's not as black and white as like,

I want him to rip the doll's arm off and the guy is running around with blood spurting out of his decapitated arm exactly um which is cool i like that there's like more layers to this more subtle i will say the name of the next category is just classic torture techniques oh what if you do wish to invoke harm upon someone through a voodoo doll, you can use just regular pins, needles, rope, wire, water, fire, or any kind of torture device. There's a bad person that wrote this article. Then following the focusing technique, concentrate on the person you wish to harm and the actions that you're carrying out. Well, torture is like a war crime, I'm pretty sure.

Against a doll, though? Should they be giving instructions for how to do this? Against a doll? I don't know. But it has the effect in real life. That's the point. Can anyone prove it? I don't think so.

I think that's why these things are pretty popular. This is very, very, uh, an ethical gray area. It does clarify once again in bold, make sure you clear the doll of all previous energies if the doll is any way in associated with the previous owner they'll experience the harm so you know if ashley had sold her voodoo doll onto someone else and they hadn't cleared it of all energies and presences then ashley's just sitting and watching tv being like glad i glad i got rid of that little bastard is it getting hot in here all of a sudden someone's lit the doll on fire and she's feeling the consequences interesting i mean that's very worrying i think you've got a

that means if you're selling the doll like ashley did you want to clear the doll before you sell it because you can't trust the next person to do it for you. Exactly, exactly. Now you can also perform a voodoo love spell. These are said to be among the most powerful spells in use today. They can make someone fall in love with you or restore a broken relationship and even raise a deceased lover from the dead. That's quite a stretch. No?

Have we seen that in the spurnum of history? I don't know. Raised from the dead? I think if you love someone enough, you should know when it's not a good idea to raise them from the dead. Because unless that's like a magical raising where they're like back in their human form

as they were the day they died. They're a zombie, I don't know. Or like a half flesh, half skeleton kind of creature. Not a good idea. Don't get involved with that one so this thing can uh do everything from give you more confidence to curing hemorrhoids to raising people from the dead and i know that this is kind of like a hard case to come down on whether it's a yes or no because there's a lot of claims flying around here as As you said, this thing is basically a Swiss army knife

of magical capabilities. It's f***ing Voldemort, Harry, and Dumbledore rolled into a tiny little three-foot plushie. It's one step away from being able to psycho-dive like the Demo D7 time machine.

I felt like the only way that we could truly come down on a yes or no this week is to buy a voodoo doll ourselves. What? And that's what I did, kid. I'm sorry, what? I took a page out of Ashley's book.

You read Ashley's story and you thought you would recreate that disaster? I did the exact same thing. I went on eBay and I bought a voodoo doll from an online seller. Please tell me that it's been shipped to your house. It's here. No! I brought it with me. Oh, my God.

I live in a flat in London. I don't even have a basement to hide this thing in. The thing didn't even come in a coffin. Rory, ladies and gentlemen, Rory is clutching a paper bag. Yeah. A paper bag. I was really impressed with this. I wanted to, um, there was a lot of people selling cursed objects and cursed

dolls. I don't, I'm not saying this one's cursed. I didn't say cursed. I just said voodoo. So obviously typed cursed doll into eBay. Otherwise, how would you have seen it? There's a lot of people selling voodoo dolls on eBay and there's a lot of people selling voodoo dolls on ebay and there's a lot of like companies and businesses doing it but i actually found one from i'll uh well well maybe see what the quality is like before before i go give them a plug but i think it's a real like mom and pop shop they do it all themselves uh so they they i i ordered the doll they sent this amazing package it's currently wrapped up in like hallow skeleton wrapping paper, which is pretty cute. I think if it's a cursed doll, it's not Halloween themed.

It's just death themed. I will say this arrived at my flat a week ago. That is around the time we both got quite sick. Deathly ill. Yeah. Kit and I have been very under the weather for the last seven days so maybe hopefully like opening up and unleashing it will like cleanse the maybe that's should we use that on us like to get over our colds maybe we could we try and do like a healing

ritual yeah because immediately before i read all the stuff where i didn't know you could make good shit happen with the voodoo doll i was just gonna use it on you and like put pins in its eyes and like burn it with a lighter and tell us what you really think rory but i didn't know you could do good stuff with it so maybe i'll put like the power pin in my butthole and like and like the strength one in my eyes who knows who knows uh well look folks let's just get into this i have not opened this package yet i don't know know what is inside. So I'm very excited. This is a live unboxing on the show.

We get raptured as soon as you open it. Okay. So first off, it comes with this little brown, like a tiny little brown envelope that says, thank you for your order on one side. And inside is human ashes. That's cute. Okay. Awesome.

There's a little stamp. It says a gift from, from Bewitching Charms. I don't know if that's the company that I got this off. I'm going to guess it is. I have no idea what's going on in here. Oh, yeah. Look, there's their card. Bewitching Charms.

Unique handmade gifts. She's got a Facebook page. Lorraine Jones. Yeah, they do a bunch of cool stuff. All right. All right. Shout out Lorraine Jones. Yeah, they do a bunch of cool stuff. All right. Yeah, take a peek at that. All right, shout out Lorraine Jones. At least we got someone to hold responsible if we f*** up our whole lives live on the podcast.

I got a little certificate. It's a little scroll. Rory's got a little scroll certificate. This is amazing. It's a little scroll that says, thank you so much for buying from me. Please find enclosed your voodoo doll. Also, a small free gift as a thank you for your custom. Wow.

I don't know if I will. It's going to be human teeth or something. I hope you're pleased with your purchase. However, any problems, please contact me right away. Well, don't talk about problems. It's so early in the process of me talking about problems. What problems could there be? What is this gift? i have no idea what this is what the f is that oh my god so it's a little pentagram key ring oh god in a in a sealed bag that has a sticker on it

that says blessed with a protection spell you said it's blessed with a protection spell we'll uh we'll put some pictures up on uh on twitter and things. If you follow us at This Paranormal Life or This Paralife, yeah, check it out. Apparently this is blessed. I mean, isn't that kind of a bad symbol? I guess some people are kind of into it. If you're a Satanist or... I'm so, yeah, confused. That's cool. Oh, thank you, Lorraine. That's sweet. Like like does it have to i i just love that it's like a disclaimer it's like don't worry it's blessed like yeah yeah because it's not normally a symbol associated with good things is blessings i guess depend uh what you believe in what the devil yeah i think uh you should wear this as like an earring or something wow thank you that's that's really

sweet all right so that's the nice little free gift that we've got. Now on to the larger package. Wow. Oh, my God. All right, first off. Another scroll? A second scroll. I'm sorry, I think the doll wrote this one.

This has like a little gold like ribbon around it and everything. I don't love it. This is worrying. This is worrying that it's coming with an ancient scroll. Oh my God. This is. That's a lot of words. This is a lot of words.

What could that possibly be? The title of the scroll is travel curse voodoo doll. So it is cursed. Apparently it is. I didn't say it was. She didn't say it was cursed. I didn't know it was cursed. Y'all f***ed up curse doll instructions it's your problem now it's just scrolled on this page so so this is this is the instructions on how you turn this doll into a doll you can carry

with you while you travel but that's specifically designed for inflicting pain i thought oh yeah i thought if it was a travel doll it would be like to protect you while you're traveling but no this is to to to curse the tsa agents that you come in contact with when you're traveling i think these are the actual these are instructions on how to kind of like activate the thing okay so let's i'm just i'm gonna hold that to you i'm kind of glad honestly to know that this thing might need activation i'm worried that it's going to hold that to you. I'm kind of glad, honestly, to know that this thing might need activation. I'm worried that it's going to melt our faces if we simply take it out. Yeah, it's not too late to back down. As part of the ingredients, you need devil's shoestring oil.

I'm going to say we don't have that. Yes, we do. Oh, no! It comes with a ritual kit of candles and oil and everything. Guys, this is incredible. Everything you need is in this bag, I think. That's bad. It's got something called voodoo powder,

which I'm quite scared to find out what it is. It's got devil's shoestring oil. Holy moly. It's got bones? Bones? Bones? molly it's got bones bones it's a tiny baggie with just handwritten it says bones are there bones in there i don't know let me see it there was just ground up substances that is so disturbing we should not be f***ing with this we're in too deep a bag of dust that says bones on it what the f*** have you bought this is just called voodoo powder this is gonna

be i think that's cocaine this has got to be against the ebay f***ing sellers terms and conditions i don't think you can sell bones it smells very pungent as well wow it actually smells great do all bones smell like that before we take anything else out of the package i don't know if you've read the entire chant by the way it's quite dark uh yeah we could skip maybe some of the darker sides uh before we take anything else out of the package there's only one last thing to unbox and that's the doll itself jesus christ are we ready to see the voodoo doll? I mean, we've come this far.

We've unpacked the bones and devil oil. So let's go. Oh my God. That is so much scarier than I was expecting. And I don't know why. It's very... This is somehow a Blair Witch. This is not a little... And rust Blair Witch. This is not a little...

And rustic looking. This is not a human looking thing. This is like borderline a crucifix voodoo doll. It's in like a T-pose. Oh my God. Look. Oh my goodness. This is not good.

It's not good. I'm telling you right now, that's coming home with you today. I don't think so, brother. I am putting this thing in the bin tonight. I do not want to go anywhere near my house. I've read one story at the start of the podcast and that was enough.

What the f***? Look at the size of that pin. This is an enormous pin. It's got a skull on the top of it. It's a giant pin with a skull on it. Worrying that Lorraine didn't include any of the pins for health and money and power. enormous pin it's got a skull on the top of a giant pin with a skull on it worrying that lorraine didn't include any of the pins for like health and money and power just a giant one with a skull on it just a murder pin um okay cool wow right what do we do should we get this thing going

just get cooking here uh i can i see the doll up close yeah of course you take a look at that i'm gonna take a look at these instructions dark room here see what we're working with here i call upon the ancient ones you didn't mention that like it's stuffed with real feathers real feathers from real birds i didn't know that either i didn't look at it it's made of feathers from dead animals that's not okay and like i don't know it has a little face which is like little white eyes and and teeth but like it's got red all over the eyes and mouth like it's bleeding from its eyes and mouth i think he's kind of cute i think we could be looking at a new tpl mascot a little podcast you know you know whenever we do live shows you can get your picture taken with them my god

maybe like lorraine we could work together on like a partnership to create like a little branded one. Give them a little TPL t-shirt, you know? That is not okay. All right, guys. So we're going to take a look at these instructions to set up for the ceremony. It's quite complicated. We have to pour the voodoo powder. Wait.

Oh, I apologize. It's hoodoo powder, not voodoo powder. Sure. We have to pour that out voodoo wait oh i'm i apologize it's hoodoo powder not voodoo powder sure um we have to pour that out light some candles do some oil soaking uh we're gonna set all that up and we'll be back in just one minute all right so we're all set up now uh we have we got the circles made got all of our shit ready uh the last thing we need to do while we light the candles is read through this spell this i don't know this chant so i do if we take it lying about i'll set the doll here ready to go uh i'll start off i'll start off i'm not comfortable with this just as a if this is our final moments alive or on this show um i just let it be known i didn't know this was happening

and i'm not happy i don't know what you could be possibly talking about i think this is all just kind of total normal paranormal investigation anyway i call upon the old ones from the great abyss do my bidding i invoke cthulhu. Sorry, I should deliver that with more confidence. I invoke Cthulhu, god of anger and the creatures of the underworld. Do my bidding. Hear me now. Take the bag of bones and sprinkle over the doll, as you say. Oh, that's me?

That's my cue? Oh, sorry. That's an instruction. That's not the chant. Are there actually bones in here? I't know man all right there is something that looks like a bone so uh i'm just gonna i'm starting to think it's uh it's it's the bird's bones yeah i'm hoping lorraine just ate a kfc bucket and that's just the remains. That's good. Done. Check. Yep. Bones of anger. Bones to dust.

Full of fury. Revenge is just. I scatter these bones. These bones of rage. Take thine enemy. Bring him pain. I don't want to bring. I thought we were making a happy one. You thought the cursed voodoo doll.

We have no choice apparently. I thought it was a good one. I thought it was one of the ones you put coins in his back and he becomes rich. No, no. Uh, I bind him, crush him, bring him down. With these bones I now do crush. Make thine enemy turn to dust. Torment fire out of control.

Who wants to hurt anyone this badly? With this hex, I curse your soul. Now take the pin and stick it through the heart and lay it down until candles burn out. And then after all of that, the doll is ready to be used, apparently. To carry with you and to take out and pin while thinking of any person that you wish pain upon. Wow, so now we have a fully activated curse voodoo doll. Yeah. I don't really want to wait till the candles burn out. Can I just blow them out? Like a speed run kind of thing?

I'm going to blow them out. There we go. So let's go ahead and assume we did everything right. The bones were scattered. His eyes are glowing red now, so... This thing is weird. I feel... So what am I supposed to do am i supposed to think

of someone you gotta think of uh someone i guess you don't like apparently um that you wish pain upon and then stick the needle through its heart i guess the only way that we're gonna know whether it's a yes or a no on the podcast i don't like where this is going i don't like where this is going if it's like an immediate reaction i i beg to differ i think the the the gravity of what's happening right now i think you want to pick like a really bad person out in the world because i don't like where you're headed i think like i'm not saying necessarily the heart like in his little ankle so his little feather ankle we're just leading on this on this kind of line of logic, what if I take the doll and I pin just someone

who we would get an immediate reaction from? I just think, you know, I bought the doll. I was the one that- I didn't consent to any of this. I scattered the bones. I'm pretty sure there's a rule in there about the bone scatterer being the one who- Doesn't say that anywhere.

Doesn't say that anywhere. I'm the one with the needle. No, you know what? Look, I'm the investigator for this i'm the one that took the risk buying the doll kit here you go uh maybe not the heart though maybe not the heart to be the bigger guy here and uh go for the ass or put it put it in my ear or something putting it in your ass my ankle or an elbow or something that i could go without a bit you won't need let's go and be gentle go slow all right i'm gonna pick your it's my first time ankle this thing doesn't have ankles when i go in the rough explodes it's too real

we should have started with something less precious we read the instructions we were only supposed to use half the bag of bones we used all the bones that was a year's supply of hoodoo juice going for approximately in the ankles

yeah go lower go lower You're getting quite high. You're getting quite high. That's my knee. Three, two, one. Oh, you're really throwing it in there. Oh, dude, you went through the other side. I really, I stuck it in like a kind of sword fight right through the hallway.

You can see the pin now poking right through the doll. First impressions right off the bat, Roy, do you feel anything? No. Not an immediate pain. Okay. Okay, where do we reverse the roles now? I guess it's kind of one for one. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. We're playing a game of voodoo battleships right here so anything here no you sunk my elbow uh i'll go hand why don't i go uh hand do you have a preference for which hand uh as someone who uh broke their wrist not that long ago i know that it's way better to hurt your left hand when you're right-handed left hand this one over here that's right this guy's left hand okay okay all right i'm gonna slowly pin it in i'm just kidding anything feeling anything okay well don't don't like don't like put it back and forward as if you're twisting the knife uh so far maybe i'm not thinking about you enough.

Nothing. Okay. Nothing. It's kind of a shame. I didn't realize that we were getting specifically one of the evil dolls for pain. Um, after doing the research, I was kind of hyped that maybe we'd get like six different pins and we could maybe see if we could try out that money pin or the power pin or something like that. For sure.

Um, immediately from the use that we've like that. For sure. Clout pin. Immediately from the use that we've had, we haven't had any true results. I think we did the ceremony right. But as I said. We did make a few typos and argue with each other during the chant. Of course. Which I assume everyone does while they're doing it. But yeah. Maybe I wasn't thinking of you enough. Maybe there's like more to process.

Yeah, I mean, it would make sense, like, because if you're supposed to use this against someone who has really harmed you and you have emotional hatred for, you know, maybe that's it. Maybe we're just kind of, maybe you can't f*** about and use this on just like. Yeah, because I don't hate you.

No. It's like, it can tell that we're doing it as a half-hearted yeah like if i like there's you know if if we wanted to do this like against the estate agent who me over a few years back and took my whole house deposit i think that thing would be would be like pissing blood right now oh yeah or the dude who jacked my phone on the way to a podcast recording last year sure yeah be brutal could you imagine if uh lorraine had forgot to cleanse the doll and she's just at home right now going oh jesus christ my fucking hand oh we're like i guess it's a double no uh We'll just stick a couple more pins in for fun.

She's trying to get to eBay to message your account. And she's just too excruciated to type out the message. She's like, I just got to type out this email. Cut to us. Let's try breaking all of the doll's fingers. No! Let's hack the doll's ebay account no

uh dude massive shout out uh to these guys bewitching charms hell yeah I found them on ebay

uh the seller was Lottie's charms 2015 I don't know maybe a link in the description or something yeah

this is such an amazing kit um and there's been so much there was so much love put into this that um wow what a great way to you know experience and try a little bit of voodoo today so that pretty much concludes our live investigation into the world of voodoo dolls wow that was great that was a lot of fun uh and you know i hope i hope people learn something today not just about uh admittedly what we did which is probably as we said the more fictional mainstream interpretation of what a voodoo doll is and the way it can be used uh but i hope you learn more about the history and the religion uh you know this is something that that people

really do practice and really do believe in and uh you you know, far be it from us to belittle that. More power to you. As long as you're using it for good. And apparently we've all learned that adult isn't just for Halloween. You can't get rid of the thing after you order it. So be careful out there. Yeah, I'm interested to see if this little guy hangs around. If he's going to be a regular on the podcast.

But look, ultimately at the end of the podcast, we do have to come down on a yes or no. Kit, today, based on our own investigation and our own experiments, how do you feel about voodoo dolls? Rory, brava. Great investigation. For us, the doll did not work,

so it will have to be a no from me. But as you say, I think it's important to say far be it from us to glibly sum up a whole belief system. That's not what we're doing. Just this doll that we bought. Yeah. And I think we can both agree that if there is a world where a doll like this can be used to inflict pleasure or pain, the reason ours didn't is probably because we biffed the ceremony. We biffed some of the ritual and maybe just weren't really focused

or taking it seriously enough, which is more than fair. I remember we did a live show in London, must have been two years ago now, where we had people come to the show who were practicing witches. That was like their thing. they were into witchcraft and spells um because i think i'd made a joke on the show about like who has a cauldron someone in the show had a cauldron and they came up afterwards and they were like yeah

they were like hey we're actually witches and we have cauldrons and uh that was kind of cool for me i was like i didn't really know that that was something that, uh, people practiced like every day. So who knows? Like I thought I could take the piss out of that with no repercussions and apparently not. But that was great. And, uh, thank you to those girls for educating me. That was really cool. And I'm sure it's a similar thing with voodoo. I'm sure we have listeners who are either into voodoo or have used voodoo dolls before to some success. If that is you, get in touch. We'd love to hear your stories.

Hopefully you've had a more pleasurable experience than Ashley had at the beginning of the story. Wow. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I don't know about this whole world, but all I do know is the little time I spent in New Orleans. That shit seemed to be alive and well. Yeah. Doing pretty good over there. But as I said, we have to make decisions based on our own investigation. And we didn't have any

immediate success with the doll. And unfortunately, that's all the research we can do right now. So I'm also going to be a no. Who's to say in the next coming week, my ankle doesn't fall off and Kit's hand gets crushed under a truck. And then we can revisit, we can revisit the answer to this podcast and maybe revisit our belief system as well. Yeah, that would change a lot, actually, not just the ending of this episode. I don't think we'd still be podcasting without an arm and a leg. I think the CIA would hire us to use that doll to take down dictators around the world. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode

of This Paranormal Life. Hey, happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. As we said, you know, we don't really have an episode that lands on Halloween this week. So this is it. I hope you guys are having an amazing spooky weeklloween this week so this is it i hope you guys are having an amazing spooky week hope you got your costumes on i hope you're celebrating

carving pumpkins eating candy watching spooky movies and of course enjoying the rich back catalog of this paranormal life yeah go back and check out the other halloween episodes we've done over the years we've looked at the history of halloween and other kind of just special one-offs like this a fun fact that as many of you know we fund this paranormal life through our patreon that's like the home of this paranormal life on the internet and we actually launched that on october 31st 2017 on halloween night that's crazy it's pretty cool so um the history of this paranormal life on hallow back a long way. If you want to fill your week with even more spooky content, as we always say on patreon.com, there's over 40 bonus episodes right there. And for as little as five bucks, you get access to the entire catalog.

We're talking weeks of listening nonstop right there at your fingertips. So check it out. So I hope you enjoyed listening to this week's episode. And I hope you have an amazing week. From myself, from Kit, and from our new little voodoo doll friend, of course, Happy Halloween!