This Paranormal Life - #240 The Dark Watchers of California

Episode Date: November 30, 2021

For years, hikers all across California have seen the same strange figure staring at them in the woods - THE DARK WATCHERS.  Who are these top-hatted, cape-wearing, shadow perverts? What do they want? Time for Rory and Kit to #INVESTIGATESupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL MerchFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityAdvertise on This Paranormal Life via Gumball.fmEdited by Kami TomanResearch by Amy GrisdaleIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do ghosts ever move house? Am I cursed or do I just make bad decisions? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life! Hello and welcome back to This Paranormal Life. This is the weekly comedy podcast wherein every Tuesday me, Kit Greer-Molvena and Rory Parsley sitting across from me dive into a different paranormal case and try to decide whether it's truly paranormal or not. How are you doing today, Rory? I'm doing fantastic. And as you know, we're recording a b-b-b-bonus episode. So we can say f*** the regular listeners. We can say anything. Did you not hear me? I said we're not recording a bonus episode.

I can say today for breakfast I tried to f*** my own d***. This is behind a paywall, which means we can... You would normally never say anything like that in a bonus episode. Full disclosure, for anyone who's thinking of picking up the bonus episodes, that's not what they sound like.

Rory doesn't talk about s***ing his own d***. You're saying this... This isn't a... This is a public episode? Yeah, a bit of a delayed reaction there, but I said that as soon as you started your rant. No, this is a main episode of the podcast going on on Tuesday. Oh, right.

Want to start over? Yeah, yeah. If we could. I just got to change gears earlier. We'll probably go from before you said, as we all know, this is a bonus episode. We could probably cut it there. Yeah.

The **** stuff is... Crass and unusual. It was a goof, obviously. I've never...ass unusual it was a goof obviously i've never it was like a joke bit i've never actually tried you said we should move on we should just move it on why would that be such an easy statement to make in front of the bonus audience but suddenly you're so bashful in front of our regular audience i feel like the spotlight's on me i'm in front of uh a hundred thousand people now and the spotlight's on me. I'm in front of 100,000 people now. And I don't appreciate this. Let's get back into it.

Let's go. Fresh, public episode. That's right. This is a main episode of This Paranormal Life. Obviously, to everyone who's listening, of course, this is a main episode of This Paranormal Life. They don't even know what bonus episodes make. Jesus Christ.

All right. Today's investigation starts in one of the coolest places i can imagine 1960s california oh very cool john the principal of a high school is blowing off some steam out in the mountains of the monterey peninsula hunting with his buddies steam is not the only thing i try and blow all right we said we're gonna cut cut that i forgot i that. I forgot. I forgot that we were going to cut that. Because we'll have cut it at this stage, I'm not even going to reference what you said earlier that you were trying to call back to.

Sorry. Continue with the story. I shouldn't have interrupted. I feel like people can guess. Start the surf music again. Start to get the vibes back. Woo-hoo! That was a good one.

They're blasting deer, wild boar, pronghorn antelope, and whatever else they can find. As the day wears on and the party advances, they begin to spread out further. John finds himself alone on a dusky path, scarring the horizon for any hint of movement. He looks up to the ridge above him, wondering if all the blasting has sent the animals fleeing to higher ground. That's when he spots it. There's a tall, dark figure standing on the hilltop. It's not moving at all. It's standing stock still, facing John.

He's freaked out, but he's a friendly guy. He tries to start up conversation with whoever's up there. Rory, weren't we just talking about this? You were just in california and one of the strangest things about there compared to the uk is how everyone talks to everyone yeah it was really nice and refreshing to actually have conversations with strangers yeah um you know it doesn't really happen in the uk as much no one really wants to talk to each other out in california everyone was so friendly and just up for chat and conversation.

It was really nice. Like I say, John calls out to this figure. Hello? Who's there? What brings you out to these parts? But there's no answer. He can't even tell what he's looking at. Could it be a big animal or a weirdly shaped rock? Creeping closer, he can see this foreboding creature is no animal. It's dressed and is wearing a tall hat with a cape trailing behind it. What? Guys? Hey guys! He figures it might be time to call for backup if he's trapped out here with some kind of weirdo, but nobody can hear him he calls out to his friends again this time at the top of his lungs guys get over here he's not taking any chances staring straight at the figure he slowly raises his weapon he's staring at it straight down

the barrel as his finger inches towards the trigger it's still just standing there, looking back at him. John, what's the matter? He whips his head round and he sees his friends jogging up to him. They see the terror on his face and know in an instant that something isn't right. Whoa, what do you see? John motioned upward with his gun, pointed by the way and looked back towards the shadowy figure but there was nothing there whoa he's standing mere meters away but didn't hear a sound it had just disappeared as if it was never there to begin with would you have handled that situation the same way rory i don't know did you say this person was wearing a top hat and had a cape yes i think i think i might have fired the gun i wish i would have shot quicker if i came across some sort of forest wizard as well yeah i would have been very suspicious i really like how the fact that john

wanted to talk to this shadowy figure started us on a conversation about how Californians are just, you know, so much more open and friendly than other people. Maybe it's apt that he seemed really friendly to begin with, but he was two lines away from shooting that guy. This is bizarre. I'm going to go ahead and say on record, this man is a pervert. I don't know what kind of person goes into the woods by themselves with a top hat and a cape. This is you as the local police chief at the press junket. We have very little information at this time. We would ask everyone to hold off on questions. What I would like to say is this guy is definitely a pervert.

He's definitely a threat to the community and we need to rise up in a vigilante justice way to take him down. Do you have any information on the child that went missing from the park the other day? Kid was eight years old, was wearing a Barney t-shirt, probably a pervert. I'll be honest with you. It's a town of freaks. I'm the only law around here. This is strange. This is strange. This would be scary. Am I not fire the gun? Yeah.

I get the concept of a warning shot, maybe. But like, I don't know if enough had happened here to warrant the threat of violence. Right. Sure. Because it's one thing to be out in the woods hunting the predators of the predators of the forest the tigers the bears you should not be out there fighting the sexual predators of the forest that is you can't have a hunting license for that i'm pretty sure someone out there is campaigning for that uh to become legal but uh yeah currently is not what i'm describing to you is a dark watcher. I have to hold my hands up and say that

I've never heard of them before, but they are by no means anything new. Accounts have been recorded as far back as the pre-Columbian era by the Chumash Nation. They whispered about these dark watchers in their oral legends and stories. When the Spanish colonists arrived in South America in the 1700s, they saw them too. They began calling them Los Vigilantes Oscuros. Very cool name. Which literally translated means the Dark Watchers. Every fresh arrival felt the same sensation of being watched from the hills. A Dark Watcher stands at roughly 10 feet tall.

They may even appear larger because of their extravagant hats and billowing capes. Oh my goodness. If you find yourself in their presence, you're unlikely to see them move, but they may turn to look at you. Rory, would you like to see an artist's interpretation of a Dark Watcher? I would, yeah. Here's a couple different ones. Or as I will be further calling them,

Los Pervert Hermanos. No, no, no. Which loosely translates to the Sex Brothers. I believe. It definitely doesn't. Wow. These guys are, you know what? These guys are a lot scarier than I was giving them credit for.

I was thinking of some, you know, Harry Potter looking motherfucker stumbling down the woods with one of those capes that have little lightning bolt emojis on it and a wand and a top hat. This is not the case at all, guys. These are cloaks they're wearing, big, black, thick cloaks and strange hats. In one picture, they have glowing white eyes. hats. In one picture, they have glowing white eyes. Yeah, somewhere between a Victorian gentleman, a Dementor, and a Ringwraith. Not someone you want to come in contact with in any landscape. Certainly not the forest. I think I just would have instinctually started squeezing the trigger of my shotgun too. There are very few people you would ever want to encounter just in the middle of the forest. It's weird. Maybe one of those guys who sells like concession snacks at like a baseball game or a cinema. Yeah. That's maybe the only guy you would want to see. I want to meet that person.

They're terrifying. They're genuinely terrifying looking. I would probably blast them. There's actually something about the silhouette that reminds me a lot about plague doctors. Yeah, I can see that. You you know the guys who wear the big bird masks um i mean they don't have a bird mask but everything else about them the hat and the cloak is quite similar it's it's of that era for sure um interestingly i definitely could see it fitting in kind of 1700s america it's said that if you approach, they'll move away sharpish and melt into the shadows. Stories about direct contact are few and far between, but I have read that if you want to meet a dark watcher, you should bring a gift. But I don't know what they like. What would be a

good gift for a 10-foot shadow being with a hat and cape? A new hat, maybe? Yeah, maybe a cane or a walking stick. Just complete the look but they say you don't go looking for a dark watcher if anything they'll be the ones to come and find you the creepiest part is that experts i don't know who the experts are but they say that 99 out of 100 times the human being observed has no idea anyone else is around so what so the the one person that reports seeing a dark watcher in the forest there were 99 other people well how do they know that because they didn't report it how would you ever know that rory don't question the experts on this show what's more they don't have any interest in causing

mayhem or even a little mischief. They don't damage property or attack people. It's no wonder they aren't famous cryptids like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster. They're too busy keeping a low profile. I mean, I would say that Bigfoot keeps a pretty low profile. I think Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster are pretty infamous for keeping low profiles. That's like their whole shebang. They don't turn up at Comic-Con signing headshots. It's a pretty small amount of difference. I think the difference is that there's zero photos of Dark Watchers and there's one photo of Bigfoot. Right.

That's 100% different. He was caught slipping one time. I guess a better comparison would be someone like Spring-Heeled Jack, who just popped up and threw acid in people's faces. Yeah. He wasn't trying to really hide in the shadows. He was a Los Pervert Romanos. He was a Pervert Romanos.

We've established that. There are tons of stories of run-ins with Dark Watchers from recent years. In 2015, a long-distance runner named Joey spotted one in Sylmar, California. The time of day was 2 p.m. I was running, and up in an area where no human could climb without gear, I saw a black figure in plain daylight. I'd never seen anything like it up in the mountains. It was darker than dark. Could not explain it. A year has passed and today again, January 24th, I saw it again and in the exact same spot. So they aren't only around in the nighttime. That kind of weirded me out quite a lot too. Why on earth would this thing appear

exactly one year later? I mean, we hear that sometimes with ghosts, you know, appearing around the place they passed away or deceased a year on from the events. Isn't that a big horror trope? Like, oh, welcome into the old crickety house. I hope you'll have a good night. By the way, today is a hundred years since my master was slain. Slain by who? Slain by who? It's a whole cliche thing.

Yeah, that's interesting. To me, it kind of felt like some kind of weird time loop or ritual, certainly. I didn't really make the connection that if this was some kind of ghost-like entity, that too could make sense. That maybe they're harking back to some kind of past event or past life. Yeah. That on this very moment in history throughout the years, something happened. Yeah, yeah.

I'd like to know what you think of this next account, though. This is from 2018. These are all so recent. Too worryingly recent. Just three years ago in Ojai, California. I was hiking up a remote trail up the 33 in Ojai. I was about an hour in the mountain, no people, no cars in sight. As I was hiking, I had this eerie feeling I was being watched.

I looked up at the top of the mountain. It was a black figure. I waved, jokingly, not really thinking the object was a person. It waved back. Thinking I was maybe tripping or that it was a tree waving in the wind, I took a puff of my cigarette, only to see the figure blow out a plume of smoke as well. What? I started seeing it flowing, and I say flowing, almost floating vertically. I ran like hell back to my car, spraining my knee in the process. This dude has never seen a shadow before. I try to run and this f***er's on my heels. I puff my cigarette, he puffs right back at me. I'm throwing fists into the dirt

and this son of a bitch is throwing them back. His knuckles are like boulders. You know, hold that thought. Okayoulders you know hold that thought okay really do hold that thought because i don't want to hold that thought just hold it because it's actually a pretty interesting idea you just had okay what the f**k is going on rory these things can now mimic humans where did the smoke come from for one yeah that's bizarre uh i like that these guys don't really want to it doesn't seem like they really want to interfere or hurt anyone as you said they're

just watchers you know i think i'm all right with that unless they're watching me shower or try and my own okay i am fine with them just watching me like on a hike or something you couldn't just let it go i'm just hypothetical situations i'm not saying 30 minutes to just drop that bomb again i'm just saying like anything whether i'm like at the supermarket whether i'm showering right but that would no i'm just hypothetical so distracting derails the podcast like it's just it just takes over the whole thing uh this is weird but not i don't know i guess it would freak me out i feel like we've covered uh episodes in the podcast before where we've had kind of just dark figures that watch from a distance and disappear when you

approach them yeah but yeah i don't know yeah um i this does feel a little bit like one of those kind of you'd have to be there to understand how unsettling it is. Yeah. I feel if I was in that position. Yeah, yeah. It might be just one of those stories. It's just, it doesn't sound as cool when you tell someone it. Now, anytime we do talk about cryptids or mysterious beings like this,

it's fascinating when similar stories turn up in other countries and cultures. It turns out these dark watchers may be no exception. There are Mimis from Australia. They're part of Aboriginal lore, said to be fairy-like beings. They have extremely thin, elongated bodies. So thin, in fact, they're said to be in danger of snapping in half during a high wind.

Whoa! Their solution is to hide among rocks and crevices. Mimis are said to be responsible for the earliest cave paintings in Australia Whoa. Their solution is to hide among rocks and crevices. Mimi's are said to be responsible for the earliest cave paintings in Australia and allegedly taught the Aboriginal people how to paint, hunt, and cook with fire. How do these tie into dark watchers, though? They're just like tall, 10-foot tall, dark beings that hang out in rocks. Right. The dark watchers wear top hats this little f***er is

like a string bean a top hat would snap it in half when did they get the hat though maybe they adopted the hat in south america in the 1700s adopted the hat i heard of evolution asshole that one is pretty interesting because, granted, you're not really seeing the connection between Mimi's and Dark Watchers, which is fair. But that's interesting because they're kind of arguing that Mimi's predate humankind. They're saying that Mimi's taught humans how to paint and cook. Yeah, that's interesting, isn't it?

The Dark Watchers, though, are also similar to shadow people, Slenderman, and a new one I hadn't heard of, Black Stickmen. Ooh, I don't like the sound of that. These are said to be two-dimensional creatures that look the same from every angle, and they are several feet taller than the average human. Rory, just as a sidebar here is some examples of of black stick men don't just show me okay at least you're showing me pictures I already thought you were going to

show me drawings of stick men uh all right this is this is genuinely creepier than I thought it's kind of like uh what do you call it like a stick stick bug. Is that what you call them? Yeah, stick insect. Stick insect. That's what it is. They look like... Stick bug. It's the Southern American in me. What is that? Stick bug.

Lady bug. They look like trees that have come to life. They look like if... What's the dude from Lord of the Rings? Tree beard? Tree beard. It looked like if treeard was on a mad cut and down to like 2% body fat.

They're terrifying. They look like the shadows of branches walking across streets and buildings. I don't like it. I don't like it, but I also, it looks like I could snap them in half so that's like kind of a nice reassuring thing yeah at least if you're scared of mimis uh they did say that even a wind could snap them into which uh bodes well for me because i don't have a lot of fighting

ability uh i gotta be honest i don't know if we're ever gonna do a full investigation into the black stick men um i'm not sure they're real apparently they don't cast a shadow which is quite convenient because it makes them about a thousand percent easier to photoshop i didn't even think about that because the the details we have on them is that they're completely 2d and don't cast a shadow which basically means they're a f***ing JPEG. Yeah. Their abilities include being a PNG. They can appear with no background. Sometimes the creatures look like they're a different aspect ratio.

They can appear in landscape or portrait form. And are often watermarked. Now, these Dark Watcher entities have actually kind of been popularized by the writer John Steinbeck. The famous American author very briefly mentioned the dark watchers in a short story of his named Flight. He wrote, Pepe looked suspiciously back every minute or so, and his eyes sought the tops of the ridges ahead. Once, on a white barren spur, he saw a black figure for a moment, but he looked quickly away for it was one of the dark watchers. No one knew who the watchers were, nor where they lived,

but it was better to ignore them and never to show interest in them. They did not bother one who stayed on the trail and minded his own business. Pepe looked up to the top of the next dry, withered ridge. He saw a dark form against the sky. A man's figure standing on top of a rock, and he glanced away quickly, not to appear curious. When a moment later he looked up again, the figure was gone. Interestingly, John Steinbeck's son claims to have seen a dark watcher as a child, and eventually went on to co-author a book on them called In Search of the Dark Watchers.

Wow. In fact, the entire Steinbeck family are believers. Steinbeck's mother, Olive Hamilton, brought fruit and flowers for them. Steinbeck's son, Thomas, said his school headmistress grandmother believed firmly in the Dark Watchers, despite being a no-nonsense woman without a paranormal thought in her head. His school's headmistress's grandmother. His grandmother was a school headmistress. Oh, wait, what? So not his school headmistress's grandmother?

His school headmistress's grandmother. It's like saying- The grandmother of his schoolmist mistress or his grandmother is a school mistress the latter that's what i said wait which one his grandmother his grandmother is a school head mistress i'm standing up right now you're a dark watcher you got a hat and a cape his grandmother it was an interesting way of saying steinbeck's mom was a school headmistress that was yeah that was probably an easier way to word this did you say also that they were bringing these sons of bitches fruit and berries and shit yeah i thought all we've heard about them is that

you shouldn't even show them any interest at all no well we did briefly mention earlier if you do want to meet one you need to bring it a gift that's true i didn't know it was just a fruit and a basket of goodies the grandmother school headmistress told her children and her grandchildren that she left fruit and nuts out for the watchers in mule deer canyon on her way to school in big sir that's the one thing they can get in the forest is fruit and nuts give them an iphone give them a beer we laid out sticks and acorns and dirt they were like oh my favorite that's why i live in the dirt that's that's weird and bad on the

way back her offerings would be gone but there would be flowers lying where she'd placed them that's fair that's all they have when she returned there were less fruit less nuts and more squirrel shit than usual a gift from the elders of the forest from the forest spirit um we haven't even referenced kind of the most nuts thing about this case pun intended that all of this has taken place in the state of california yeah i like that i like that lot. It's very weird. Not a place traditionally known for its creepy forests, really. Yeah, and I mean, I maybe mentioned a forest earlier, but it doesn't seem to be,

they don't seem to be stuck in the forest. Like they seem to be out in cliffs and ridges. Down by Hollywood Boulevard, chilling in Malibu. They have a family past the Universal. They go like five times a year. Yeah, you know, because when i think of californian forests i think of you know the mighty redwoods i think of sunshine i think of uh lush green valleys whereas you know some of the forests that that were were near we where we grew up in northern ireland um we're out of a they're out of a Dark Souls game.

They're out of Lord of the Rings. Misty, dark, stormy. Yeah, I mean, we covered a paranormal case in one of them not that long ago. And I think it had a clan of druids living in it. Waving flaming torches in the night. Yeah, it's a very creepy paranormal place. Whereas, yeah, it's interesting to, as we heard in one of these stories,

some of these guys are just appearing in daylight. Yeah, exactly. It's quite interesting, too. I don't know how often we have a paranormal case where the first person to document it is a famous author. Right. We had the Sherlock Holmes guy who thought fairies were real. But I think we should stop talking about him because I came up quite a few times and it was damaging to the case.

It really was. Yeah, I'm starting to think we shouldn't trust these artists and thespians. Yeah, it is interesting. I mean, you've spent a lot of time in California. I spent a tiny bit of time in California. I mean, I'm not the most well-traveled guy in the world. I've been to a few different countries, a couple of different continents. I do think there's something wild

about the Californian desert environment. We've talked about it before. These places like Joshua Tree, home to such weird things as the Integratron, you know, people building time machines out in the desert. I did feel when I went there that there was something strange and special about that place. Tons of UFO sightings, you know, even in Joshua Tree, there's like a whole bookshop just dedicated to UFO books. Yeah, there's definitely a darker side to California and LA that, you know, you don't see on your typical holiday visits. I remember I went, I was there on a work trip a few years back. And on our last day, our flight wasn't leaving until around 4 p.m. So we did what everyone does on a work trip.

And we went to a bar at like 11 a.m. We were the first ones there when the door opened. Unprofessional. They had a little outdoor seating area. So we were like, what are you guys doing today? They said, we got a deal on pitchers of margaritas. Uh, so, you know, the pitchers were flowing, had a great time drinking these, these big jugs of margarita on this sunny day. And then, uh, someone was like, Hey, I've got a great idea. Why don't we go to the museum of death? It's like two blocks down the road. And I

got like a, I'm pretty blasted at this point it is noon and i am seeing triple and i think the museum of death actually sounds like a pretty cool quirky uh place to go visit it was not it was a bad idea uh it was a lot more intense than i thought it was i thought it was gonna be like um one of these museums where it's like here's the history of death from uh other cultures you know and like the way people were buried throughout time see that's what i'm picturing yeah no this was a very a very intense museum which hey you know if you're into that sort of thing the true crime serial killers awesome good for you but this was like they had on display like the like the clown shoes that john

wayne gacy wore and like notes from serial killers that were handwritten on the walls keep an eye on the person who started this museum it was pretty dark it was pretty dark it was like polaroids from actual crime scenes yeah and i was like that is that is a dead body i don't need to see this right now the buzz faded very quickly you were stone cold sober i went in in with a tank top and one of those helmets that has two beers on the sides that you can drink up through a straw and i came back still wearing all those things but a lot sadder so there's a number of layers of dark side yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and that's that's just the point we're getting at. You know, LA, California seems like a very sunny, bright place,

but there's a dark underbelly in the city and in the woods. Now, as you may be sensing, the big problem with the case of dark watchers is they're f***ing shadows. You pretty much, by definition, can't get a good look at them. So there's essentially zero photographic evidence. All we have to go on is a number of well-documented sightings. Because of this, people have proposed more scientific explanations for what's going on.

That's fair. Is it hallucinations? Or even better, an optical illusion? Specifically, the Brocken Specter, also known as Angel in the Sky. The Pervert Brothers in German. Das Pervert. Das Pervert. What's Brothers in German?

I've got to figure this out. Brother. That's Pervert Brother. Now, this is a weather event where basically if the sun's behind you it can project a shadow on clouds or mist below we talked about this before yeah we talked about this and it was one of your cases giants in the mountains or something i believe yeah now you mention it this is a really uh really reminiscent image uh all right you've seen this one before this is an example of how it works you've shown me this you've shown me this exact picture before

reading from the same script so in conclusion is the giant man of ben mcdowey real that's the same case hey guys just come back to me i will say um to to cut you some slack here folks full disclosure i wish we were joking but we're not uh right before we started recording the podcast the carbon monoxide detector in kit's apartment went off all right and uh we don't really know what that means we phoned some people and had a chat about it they think it was an accident but the thing had batteries in it and it's working fine all of a sudden i'm talking about my own and you're you're presenting a case we already did carbon monoxide is fake news i don't believe in it

and the man of ben mcdowey is real the problem is even this phenomenon doesn't really explain how people are seeing this thing on top of cliffs in bright daylight. Yeah. Of course, it could also just be pareidolia. This is the way that humans see patterns and faces and shapes where there aren't any. That's true. But I mean, this is beyond a face. You know, this is a gentleman with a cape smoking.

Yeah. And he's smoking, smoking a bowl at one point. smoking yeah and he's smoking smoking a bowl at one point so even if these logical explanations do explain a handful of cases what about the one where the dark watcher is playing simon says what about the one spotted in broad daylight and why only in the state of california surely this should be happening in everywhere else in the country yeah yeah it's true you know as we said there's creepier forests out there in the world. So why are these guys only appearing in California? Are there any theories behind why? Huh? Okay. I'm assuming that's a no. That's actually a great question. You know, if I had to guess based on what we've talked about so far, we do know that this is specific lore to certain native american nations it could be that the dark

watchers you know whatever they might have called them back in the day that they are specific to maybe just that that chumash nation that region yeah not not to anywhere else and that's you know we call it california today but historically there's a much longer history to that part of america yeah that's true uh you know i could understand that and it could be some sort of ancient beast or creature keeping watch over the land the precious land make sure no one f**ks with it anymore but then again they don't do anything they just observe yeah it's weird't it? Like what so rarely is in the name of your cryptid, what they do. Yeah, right. I guess Bigfoot is pretty, he's Bigfeet.

The Loch Ness Monster is a monster who lives in Loch Ness. There aren't really that many creative names for cryptids. But like they might have different names if we knew more about them. Like it could be Bigfoot the accountant if we find he's really good at numbers yeah yeah yeah or like the loch ness diver if it just continually dives down to the bottom presumably he does munches stuff and comes right up back up to the top uh whereas a dark watcher it's the number one thing we know about them that's true yeah they're not called like the chonk piglers or something it's like well what they do is like let's watch stuff all right we'll call them call

them something to do with that i appreciate this is a bit of a weird one um the case is as ambiguous and shadowy as the dark watchers themselves nice rory if you had to look at some of the experiences we've talked about on this episode and frankly not look at the lack of evidence, where would you come down on whether these things are really paranormal or not? Are we looking at a specific story or just these creatures as an entity? The Kitten Caboodle, are dark watchers real? real i don't know man they're not grabbing me literally because all they do is watch shit so uh i'm not seeing a really any good reason why these things would exist or any really believable stories um relating to people witnessing them in public i know that you said you have had there's like some testimonies online but they're all weirdly recent as well 2015 2018 well to be fair when john steinbeck wrote about dark watchers in flight which is really the first written record we know

about that was 1938 uh right and then allegedly this goes back to native american times before that oh right so but he gave him kind of its first mainstream yeah he called them dark watchers i don't know i don't know i like you said yourself like these guys in real life there's nothing there they're shadows they're mist it's it's a bit of an illusion uh i don't see anything today that would make me believe that these guys are actually real yeah it does remind me a little bit of whenever we talked about Banshees recently. You know, I can't relate to the concept of Dark Watchers because... Well, don't have a go at Banshees as well,

because that was incredibly researched. I had interviews with people from Ireland. I'm sorry, did I not just have statements from like five people who've seen Dark Watchers? I think you found some Reddit comments from like a couple of years ago. That's fine, it'sers. I think you found some Reddit comments from like a couple years ago. No, it's fine. It's fine.

I didn't mention Reddit once. I'm pretty sure you did. Just don't besmirch my name or that or the legends of Ireland. All I'm saying is that I didn't grow up with Dark Watchers

so it's hard for me to wrap my head around it but I did grow up with the concept of the Banshees. And I know that they're not real. Oh!

I don't remember you saying that on the podcast buddy where do we come down though it was a double no sure but there were times where i feel like i had you you're on the edge the stuff about the combs so in summary sure dark waters are about as real as the banshee if you want to yeah come down on conclusions yeah double notes because both are a great example of how you can have dozens of people who will swear on their mother's lives they've seen them with their own eyes and yet zero proof of any of them it's true welcome to the world of the paranormal it's 98 of our cases but hell i would love to go hiking uh in a californian valley and and hopefully see one for myself maybe i will someday i feel like if you hike for long enough you'll see a lot of weird shit god because you'll be dead in the hot california sun if you drink

four pitchers of ice cold margaritas and go out into the blistering hot California desert, you'll see a lot of things, my friend. You will. Wow. So a pretty quick and damning double no for the case of Dark Watchers. I really love that case, though. I really love that story and enjoyed reading about it. Thank you so much to Amy grisdale for researching this episode thank you to cammy toman for editing it i was disappointed i thought these sons of bitches were going to be more like uh the ringwraiths from harry not harry potter the ringwraiths from lord of the rings you know you just be chilling and then all of a sudden you'd see this thing and

its head would like cane right towards you and be like and you have a horrible screech and then then they hop on the back of a dragon and swoop down and you're like ducking and ducking protecting the ring and the fellowship are behind you shooting arrows and freaking out next thing you know aragorn dives through the sky takes a swing at the beast takes its hand off but this thing doesn't have a hand it's just just armor. It's a ghost in armor. And then Legolas is riding down elephant trunks, shooting arrows multiple light up into the sky, blinding orcs as they look up.

But guess what? That's quite enough. That's quite enough. I just got a little carried away. So you wanted this case of the paranormal to be, what, more like the Fellowship of the Ring? Yeah, or Two Towers. Or presumably Return of the King. or two towers or presumably the hobbit right yeah

or either that way yeah you can skip the return of the king for some reason i didn't once mention any character from the hobbit but it's along the same kind of vibes uh yeah i just thought it'd be more like a little more exciting a little more aggressive and i thought as the orcs looked up at the sun then gimli would sleep down below with his axe and cut them off cut off their ankles but you know I'm sorry just but you guys were cool too they like looked at shit and ate nuts I'm so and like played with berries and flowers and things that was cool don't deserve to be treated this way the as soon as the episode started you launched into a diatribe about your own i never said that then i never said that it was removed from the podcast then continued to bring it up two to three more times

the more times staggered throughout the episode and then at the end you said none of this is real and i wish it had more hobbits the more you talk about the thing it's going to be harder do you understand to cut it out subsequently from all the times that it will be because you kept bringing it up uh so let's just you know i just i wish they did a little more stuff i wish they had a purpose whether that's trying to get the one ring to run or a podcast about lord of the rings yeah maybe i do a watch along so uh you don't even want a podcast about it you just want to watch lord of the rings it's me hitting play hitting record on the zoom and then popcorn munching and snacking for three hours three hours in you just under your breath oh cool lego lounge

uh yeah that's going to be launching soon guys so so check it out if you enjoyed this week's investigation into the dark watchers and you cannot get enough this paranormal life and uh please please try and put out your mind anything rory said up to this point in the episode about the patreon bonus episodes over on patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life there is over 45 full length bonus episodes of this paranormal life for just $5 or equivalent in your local currency. You can unlock like a year's worth of this paranormal life that is not available to the public. And it's not just for guys to self fellatio is available to anyone of any gender brought up. What did you just call it?

Self. Oh, my God. That is. It's not the content like what is that what does that say to people does that say to people that it's like a guide on how to do it yeah it's like you know yoga positions how would practice like you the last bonus episode was on objects out in deep space like you host it like you, the content of those episodes. There's nothing to do with any of that. Sure.

I add little bits in after we've recorded the podcast. I'm like, hey, remember last week when I was like, hey, man, don't worry about the editing for this week. I'll take it this week. So I'll like, I'll cut that podcast down to like five, 10 minutes, sometimes like three minutes. What the f*** are you talking about? Sometimes I'll interrupt the intro and just

hit a hard cut and be like, I know why you little f***ers are here. Time for the real podcast. And then I'll go into the tutorial section. Holy s***. Yeah, people find it really offensive and rude and crass. But I'm saying maybe they're not trying hard enough.

But there is a small group of devotees who are getting very close to the Holy Grail itself. There's a small group of pervert brothers who are inches from glory. Jesus Christ. I think there's actual carbon monoxide in this room. This is the nuttiest podcast we've done in so long. This is so funny. What podcast we've done in so long. This is so funny. Los pervertos romanos.

What is pervert though in Spanish? In Spanish? I have no idea. That's not something you should be. It should be in your vocabulary if you're visiting Spain. Pervert in Spanish. Like, hola, ¿cómo te llamas? ¿Dónde están tus perverts?

Oh my God. It's so good. I wish we'd looked it up earlier. What is it? Pervertido. Los pervertidos hermanos. So thank you so much for tuning in for this week's episode of This Paranormal Life. We will, of course, be back on Tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale.

And until then, remember to live fast, investigate, and die young. Los pervertidos hermanos. Fast and Investigate and die young. No, don't.