This Paranormal Life - #252 El Duende The Legendary Goblin

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

What would you do if an eighteen inch tall man ran in front of your car while driving at night? How would that change your life? The paranormal witnesses at the heart of our story today don't have to wonder - this is what really happened to them. Little did they know that drive would lead to a far greater journey of discovery and research into a creature they had never heard of before - El Duende.Buy Official TPL Merch! -  thisparanormallife.com/storeSupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to bonus episodes!Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityAdvertise on This Paranormal Life via Gumball.fmResearch by Amy GrisdaleIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If Play-Doh isn't food, why does it taste so good? What happens to the boomerangs that don't come back? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life! Hello! Hey! And welcome back to This Paranormal Life. This is the weekly comedy podcast wherein two paranormal investigators at the peak of their game investigate a different paranormal case every

week and get to the bottom of whether it's truly paranormal or not we're joined by myself mr kit groom over there mr roy powers is sitting across from me hello how you doing today rory i'm doing pretty good kit we are recording back home in northern ireland in like our own little makeshift studio that we got here things look pretty sw swish, I'm not going to lie. The bite back from the audience after the last time we recorded in Northern Ireland in your mum's spare room. Yes.

The spare room of an angel on earth. Right, well, the acoustics of said room were not quite up to snuff and we got kind of dragged for that one. We are getting way sidetracked i apologize we don't want that to be the reputation of when we record in northern ireland let's move on with today's investigation rory this week we've had another fantastic listener recommendation this time from a couple of guys in belgium named anton and idris my friend and i have been intrigued by the paranormal

for the longest time however one critter in particular has haunted us the most. The gnome. Because guess what? Those little shits are real. How could we possibly ignore an email like that? They even sent over supposed evidence and a 105-page academic thesis that a researcher, Amy, read in its entirety because she, quote, clearly doesn't have enough going on in her life. So thank you,

Anton and Idris and Amy. And without further ado, let's dive right into today's investigation. Let's do it. This first story is from a Reddit post. And you know it's a good one because the post starts with a warning. Full disclosure, this is a throwaway account. I just want to, not to interrupt again before we get into the story. Yeah. But as I pointed out really briefly before we started the podcast, our editor is actually off this week,

which means I'm going to have to edit this week's podcast. So I know you did a little stumble and that happens to the best of us. Happens to me. Hell happens to me too. All right, bud, but let's just try and keep things smooth and keep things in like one take. Cause that means less work for me.

That means we can get the podcast out on time so well i would say it's borderline impossible to do a podcast in one take a podcast of this nature that's scripted any podcast really yeah so without stumbling little unrealistic i'm gonna try my best okay and i guess we'll see what happens that's great with me also sorry don't don't mention too many many sound effects or music or anything like that because, once again, I have to do this shit this week, and I am slammed, brother. I don't have time to f***ing brush my teeth. How do you think I have time to edit this shit? Super quick, there is going to be sound effects.

I didn't mention that. But seeing as you asked for the unprecedented favor of no sound effects, of course it's going to be sound effects. It's the nature of the show. Let's just keep them sparse, you know? Like I say, the Reddit post starts with a warning. Full disclosure, this is a throwaway account. I'm very hesitant to talk about this.

My wife and I are both college educated professionals. Other than this one time that I'm about to describe, we've never experienced anything that would qualify as paranormal. The reason why I'm posting this is because I'm genuinely looking for any information on what we saw. Love this, love this. It's always great when you have a doubter

as your main source, you know? With all of that said, let me take you to Apache County, part of the Navajo Nation in Northeastern Arizona. It was 2009, and Reddit user okcryptographer5018 is out in the car with his wife.

Love that burner Reddit account name. Wow. That's great. She's driving them home after going out to dinner. They live in a tiny town without any real restaurants to speak of. The closest thing they have to fine dining was going to their local bar and getting some popcorn, shrimp and mozzarella sticks. As we were driving back around 9 or 10 p.m.,

we were both watching out for animals. It wasn't uncommon to see deer, antelope, jackrabbits, which could damage our truck if hit. As they both peered into the darkness, all of a sudden they saw a silhouette they didn't recognize. It was maybe 18 inches tall, but it wasn't an animal. If anything, it looked like a miniature human. But it was moving too fast to get a good look. Ooh, a couple red flags here. The figure had burst out of the bushes and was running across the road on two legs at top speed. As the bright headlight beams struck it,

it dawns on the pair in the car that they really are seeing a tiny person. Oh my god! After it sped across the desert highway, it disappeared in the cedar trees at the far edge of the road it took them a few seconds to process what had just happened surely that kind of been real yeah there's not that many creatures of that size that resemble a human in any form you know not that many creatures run on two legs at that size. Maybe a frightened lizard. When they do that little waddle walk. Yeah, they're in like sport mode and they just... It's like a drag racing car,

just goes up on two wheels. Or like a meerkat. Meerkats like stand up a little bit. We're about to hear a little bit more about its description too. Okay. The little f***er had a pipe. All right, that is pretty weird.

We can rule out lizard. Please, God, at least***er had a pipe. All right, that is pretty weird. We can rule out lizard. Please, God, at least a tobacco type crack pipe. It's a crack pipe. A miniature one. Two centimeters across. He went on to say, The most messed up part was that this thing was wearing clothes. It was dressed in a robe and had a pointed hat.

It was a wizard. We can't really remember the colors of the clothes, but we both agree that the hat was red. It did not look cute or friendly. More like the stuff of nightmares. This is so much visual information to take in in a very short period of time. An 18-inch high wizard sprinted across a road and it looked like a nightmare. Even a normal size wizard would have been strange. Why does he have to be small?

That just raises more questions. If I'm retelling the story, it was a fully grown wizard, not a baby wizard. I don't know what's worse. Do you want a baby wizard or Gandalf the Grey doing the hundred meters sprint? A baby wizard or Gandalf the Grey doing the 100 meters sprint? The last thing you want is for the police officer to get a description of what transpired. And you tell him the story. Pointy hat.

Wizard's robes. And then at the end, the officer goes, could you get a rough height of the man? You're not going to believe this officer. but he was the size of a shoe. All right, you're coming with me. You're coming with me to prison. Yeah, I like the idea that he's trying to like soften the blow to the officers. He was actually pretty short, officer. How short? Like five foot?

A little less. I'd say he was pretty tall for a shrimp if that answers your question you ever seen the borrower's chief uh this is this is a creature i'm starting to see why he had a burner reddit account its skin was dark brown or dark gray its face looked monstrous and it was grimacing. I had the impression that it was, I had the impression that it was very, I had the impression.

Now you got me messing up. Now you got me messing up the podcast that I'm editing. So this is going to be a whole. I haven't got you doing anything. I think me knowing that I have to edit this and how little time I frankly have to even do. I don't even have time to be here today, let alone edit this mother. So it's just getting in.

It's just getting in my head a little bit. We sat for three hours before this recording session. You insisted on eating an entire Tim Hortons meal with coffee and donuts. We did. And you talked about how you were, your cat sitting at the moment. This is a great segue.

Today's podcast sponsored by Tim Hortons. No, it's not. Get a mouthful of Timmy's. It's not. It's not. Okay. Bad catchphrase. So bad it's clear that we're not actually sponsored by Tim Hortons.

There's no way they would sign off on that slogan. The Timmy's was important because it helped me get the energy that I needed to push through this podcast. It's giving you energy to be a real pain in the ass to be honest like i said i don't think you're busy at the moment all right here we go i'm gonna i'm gonna nail this yeah i had the impression that it was very distressed there we go smashed it and seemed to be running away Yeah okay Just to jump in You can

You can Talk about how well You delivered the lines Straight after the line That means it's a It's a bust You gotta start again Okay

Cause you gotta finish the line And move on Right I can't acknowledge The fact you even did the line You gotta just read it Yeah In character I just got a ping on my phone

Light rain is expected soon In my location And it will last for 11 minutes. Just keeping you up today with the weather, bud, just in case that factors into your plans for today. But again, let's f***ing do the show because I don't have time

for this. Do you know what? Don't read the line. I'll read it. No, no, no. It's cool. I got it. I got it. I got it. I had the impression that it was very distressed and seemed to be running away for something first it's like i say i mean i think you're clearly a little worked up so this is how i become the joker this is my joker moment i'm gonna start cackling any minute now because i can't read a sentence what does that even mean and i'm going to become a maniac all right i apologize here we go this is the line i had the impression that it was oh my god you're sleeping you're i think i should take away the Tim Hortons. Thank you very much. All right.

I had the impression. F***. I'm going to give you the Tim Hortons back because you stopped functioning completely. I think one of my eyes isn't working anymore. This is insane. Why can't I read this line? I had the impression that it was very distressed and seemed to be running away from something or someone. Was I fine?

I feel like I almost shouldn't bring up the fact that you didn't do the accent for the character, but... The accent's gone, bud. Okay, okay, we'll move on, we'll move on. It seemed oblivious to us and our truck. I looked over at my wife, who neither hit the brakes nor swerved whatsoever, and she's just looking straight ahead at the road. I seriously thought I had a... I seriously thought that I'd had a... I seriously thought I'd had a hallucination.

Not because... Not because I've had... The f*** is going on, man? What the f*** is going on? I can read. I swear to God I can read. I can't do a lot of shit in this life, but I can read words. You need to slow down.

If you're so busy... Why am I having a panic attack at how much shit I have to do? Oh my God, is it getting on in here? Okay, okay. We're almost there. I'm gonna go back from the hallucination line. I seriously thought I'd had a hallucination. Not because I've had one before,

but I can't believe what I just saw. In my defense, this is very badly written. Not because I've had one before, but I can't believe what I just saw. Hey, whenever you see a wizard the size of a shih tzu, you would probably get stumbled over your words. You're stumbling over your words

right now and you... Yeah, okay. Yeah, don't throw stones in glass houses, I get it. I can't read a sentence let alone say one, so... So I said, Did you see that?

To which she quietly replied, Yeah. In order to confirm my own sanity, I needed to hear her say what she saw first. What did you see? Like a little person with a wizard hat on? If she had just said, I think it was a raccoon or something, he'd be like, If she had just said, I think it was a raccoon or something, he'd be like, yeah, me too. Yeah. Crazy. It's like a game of chicken. Yeah.

You got to say on three what we both saw. Yeah. Right. That's terrifying. That's kind of what you, I guess it's what you do want to hear. Otherwise, that raises a lot more questions if you were the only one who saw the little wizard. Yeah. This is like classic friends all getting high together and then there's the one guy in the corner who's really silent while everyone else is laughing and he's just building

up the courage to ask if anyone else can see the dragon right doing circles in the sky flying around the room he's like internally like i guess they would have stopped playing fifa if they had seen it so i guess they haven't that's the kind of thing where everyone's been talking for 45 minutes this guy hasn't said a word and then in the middle of everyone else's conversation he just blurts out what are you guys gonna wish for it's like what are you talking about michael for the um you don't shit, do you? Cool, cool, cool. I'm probably going to go. I shall take my leave, gentlemen.

The dragon is up above him. You're the only one who can see me, Michael. Well, if the others don't want wishes, I guess you get all three. I'm okay. Good night, sir. I mean, Mr. Dragon. Where are we going now? Another party?

Hit a couple clubs? No, no. I think I'm going to head to bed Good night, sir. I mean, Mr. Dragon. Where are we going now? Another party? Hit a couple clubs? No, no, I think I'm going to head to bed. Cool, cool. What a cross to bear if every time you try weed, you see the same dragon. Hello, Michael. Long time no see. Our Reddit user goes on to say, We've talked about it several times since then and are still

dumbfounded about what it was i've done some research love to see what that google search query looks like by the way you're on a list brother a government list but it's hard to glean any information because people all around the world have claimed to see small humanoid creatures for hundreds if not thousands of years look we, but the reality is we've even talked about some of them before. That's right. The Icelandic elves, the Menehune, the Hawaiian little people. You know, this isn't a new kind of creature

that we're coming across. These stories cover the globe. Well, they got some new clothes. That's true. At the very least. That's true. They're rocking the wizard look, which is a strong, strong look.

He makes pains to point out that this thing did not look like a regular garden gnome, saying he hopes to God he never sees one again, and his wife described it as a little demon. I'm imagining, like,

Dobby the Elf from Harry Potter, because he said it was, like, grey, right? True, true enough. In the end, they came to what seemed to be the only logical conclusion they had just seen el duende the south and central american legendary gnome and that is the subject of our episode today rory have you ever heard of el duende no i mean i've heard of gnomes but i would say that my knowledge of them doesn't go past the garden variety.

Cozy red cheeks, basically little Santa Clauses, white beards, little gnomy pointy hats, which is a little confusing because the culprit in today's story did match some of the characteristics that we would associate with garden gnomes, like the wizard clothes. But then it also seems like he's a little demon at the same time. Yeah, and we don't want a little demon with a wand and a diploma from Hogwarts, because that means he's got skills.

Tripping off butterbeer, running across highways. That is an accident waiting to happen. As experienced paranormal investigators, we know that gnomes, they're not unique to this part of the world. There are accounts of similar beings in every culture known to man. But for our basics in European folklore, gnomes, elves, goblins, whatever you want to call them, they're little humanoids as described.

They're associated with homes. They're associated with the home setting. And they arguably live in a plane between the living and spiritual worlds. Long ago, it was believed they might enter the human world and wander around the house at night. So they live in their own realm, but pop into the human world for snacks and shit? Sounds like it. That's pretty cool. But of course, we're talking about something a little bit more specific, el duende. And right here, we've got the Spanish dictionary definition of duende from 1611. Quote, those that fell with Lucifer. All right. Whoa. Intense dictionary definition. If your dictionary contains this, this is TMI. If Lucifer is in the first sentence

of your description, you made some mistakes in your life. Those that fell with Lucifer, of which some descended to the deep and some stayed on the surface of the earth, they are usually inside houses and in mountains and in the caves. They spook with some appearances, taking fantastic bodies. There's the opinion that duendes that inhabit underground places hide hidden treasures. They have a deep association with evil or mischief at the very least. This is like a little bit of everything. This is like a buffet of facts. They have a deep association with evil or mischief at the very least. This is like a little bit of everything.

This is like a buffet of facts. So we're kind of like, I mean, that's a lot to take in. Yeah. Let's ignore the bit where they fell with Lucifer himself from heaven. Sure. And just focus on the fact that they're here now on earth. They live in houses underground and they may have hidden treasure, but are worryingly deeply associated with evil. I mean, wow. They kind of sound like they're everywhere. They were like, they're commonly associated with being in the ground, being above

the ground, being in the sky, not on the sky, on the land, in Target, Walmart, and the big Tesco. All right. they're everywhere. Say they're everywhere. Make sure and check your shoes before you go out the door. I also think if you're commonly associated with mischief, you are evil. It's one thing to just be around while mischief happens, but if that's one of your main character traits is just being a little bastard, you're evil.

I don't care if you dress up like a wizard. How adorable that is. I'm pretty sure that's a common war criminal defense in court. I would say that I'm more commonly associated with mischief. Take him away. Absolutely take him away. Time for the defense to address the jury. Ladies and gentlemen, the jury.

When I fell from heaven with Lucifer... Alright, shut him down, shut him down, shut him down. That's not helping the defense. He's in handcuffs getting taken away. Just because we fell at the same time doesn't mean it was for the same reason. So what do

all the descriptions of El Duende have in common? Well, usually it's a male character that is more often than not wearing clothes of all one color and a big hat. Okay. They may dress in black or choose more striking colors like red. They have big teeth,

large ears, and are hairy all over. Ooh. Extremely wrinkly skin and long, dirty nails. Oh, God. One historical description says they can quote be a beautiful singing creature or an elusive small man who causes mischief and violence all right well those are two very different things and i'm starting to think the other thing is a different creature yeah the one word keeps coming up mischief and worryingly it just got peppered in there with violence

yeah so i'm starting to think that's the overbearing uh reputation yeah it's like uh sometimes they are tiny gray men with wrinkly old ball bag skin they try and steal your wallet while you're not looking and other times they're a woman with with a fishtail singing songs by the shores. That's a mermaid. You must know these aren't the same thing, sir. And other times, it's a popular dessert consisting of coffee, chocolate, cream. You've stuck pages of the encyclopedia together. You're talking about a tiramisu and a mythical beast. There is one disturbing fact that is well established, though.

That their feet face backwards and their knees bend the wrong way. What? And sometimes they're depicted with no knees at all. This is to confuse anyone who tries to chase or capture them. Brother, the robes did that. I'm confused already. You don't need to contort your knees to stop me from chasing you. In Mexico, they believe the duendes can lure naughty children into the woods and take them into the spirit world forever. Okay, that's very fairy-like, to be fair. Some believe they live in the bedroom walls of young children.

They're everywhere. This is what I'm trying to tell you. It's believed they cut the toenails of unkem young children. They're everywhere. This is what I'm trying to tell you. It's believed they cut the toenails of unkempt children. Sometimes they'll slice off the entire toe. For God's sakes. There's so much information

with these creatures that is so unnecessary. I didn't need to know that their feet point backwards. You know, that's just a little extra bit of f***ing this. And in certain areas of South America, there's a shamanistic belief that if people behave badly in this life, they'll become evil roaming spirits in the next. So El Duende's intention is to lead people away so that they turn into evil little gnomes as well. It's possible they create themselves. What I will say is, you know, with a creature like this,

one that most likely has its origins in folklore, what we're seeing is a common trait where a lot of the characteristics of the creature are to deter people and children from being bad and mischievous. Hey, kids, you don't cut your toenails like your parents tell you to. This little shrimp is going to come out of your walls and eat your legs. Hey, kids, are you going to misbehave? Well, this little gnome wizard is going to come drag you into the woods if you don't do what your parents say. You know, it's a creature that was created out

of necessity to try and keep unruly kids in line. That's a very interesting concept, something we have come up against before. Let's just hold on to that and just carry that with us as we travel forward through our investigation. Okay. Because things are about to get a lot more physical than we've been seeing to date. Oh boy. Okay. So often in this paranormal life, when we are researching a cryptid such as this, we may look at other very similar ones to see if they could be, in fact, the same thing or at least somehow related to it. So I should mention that there is another creature

in Ecuadorian folklore called El Chuzalongo. Okay. And in many ways, he's very similar. He's gnome-like, but he's mostly known for his absolutely enormous penis. Okay. Which is so long that he has to carry it on his shoulder. Oh, God. Amy writes here, he really puts the long in chutzalongo,

which I don't appreciate, Amy, because it's unprofessional. And this is potentially real cryptids we're talking about here, real people's lives. Apparently in the indigenous South American Quechua language, that name translates to seductive evil child. What, because of the size of the penis? That's not seductive. Yeah, I've been not on board with it so far.

There's a point where the penis gets too big, you know? And I think when someone's carrying it over their shoulders like Rapunzel, you've gone too far. You're not getting good use out of that. That's a hindrance, not a blessing. All right, we'll get back to El Duende. El Chuzalongo could be related to El Duende. Hopefully not.

Again, that is a creature you don't want to come across your path in the night. Because now all of a sudden, you're explaining the situation to the police. It was a guy dressed as a wizard, ran in front of the car. Police officer says, all right, can you tell me the height of the creature? You're not going to believe this, but he was a rat. He was the size of a rat. Not a big one either. Not one of those super rats.

The police officer would begrudgingly get on your side. Okay. So every part of his body was the size of a rat. Honestly, you're not going to believe this, but his. All right. No, you're not gonna f***ing believe this, but his c***. Alright, no, no, no! Write down scarf. Just write, for the sake of the

argument, write down that he has a scarf tied around his shoulder and we'll leave it there. We're done here. And to be honest, maybe the biggest thing that El Chutilongo and El Duende have in common is mischievous was a very chill way of describing them. They are straight up violent. You want to stay away from them. As it happens, the more you look into it, people are acutely aware of these things and acutely scared of them.

And the advice to children that you described earlier of how to avoid El Duende actually extends to adults as well. Oh, okay. That's interesting. Because unfortunately, El Duende actually extends to adults as well. Oh, okay. That's interesting. Because unfortunately, El Duende is much more likely to attack women than men. Okay. And thus, in some of these communities, girls are discouraged from going out alone or at nighttime at all, even instructed to keep their hair short because El Duende will target those with long flowing hair, told not to wear mascara and false eyelashes in case this legendary gnome sees them.

In what culture is this? In parts of Central and South America. This is bizarre. If it wasn't already clear, I hope you're getting the picture here. El Duende is a sex criminal. Okay. He is a violent offender.

The more you look into El Duende, it goes from being a little wizard running across the road to this guy needs to go behind bars. Well, he would slip through them, right? The guy's like a f***ing crab. They probably, when they saw him running across the road, he probably just broken out. And for all the above reasons, we're about to pivot in this episode pretty hard into

how to defend yourself against El Duende. Because apparently, he's coming for you. What are the paranormal methods you can use for protection against this cryptid? Now, traditionally, in rural areas, people would hold a pair of machetes in the shape of a cross. To keep the gnomes away. What a wild additional step. Yeah, I don't think the cross is doing it. I think it's the machetes. You're holding two

enormous blades. You can get some protection from El Duende by sprinkling holy water on yourself, potentially in the shape of a cross. If that doesn't work, apparently the gnomes also dislike garlic, and they are said to leave gold coins lying around to tempt people into picking them up. So avoid money you see lying around the street. There is a bit of argument over whether El Duendes are all male or if there are females.

Some people attest that there are female El Duende, that these are even smaller, and that they follow drunk men at night to attack them, or men who spend too much time at their work and neglect their families. Right. So, better watch out, Rory. Again, these all just seem like creatures created

to steer people in the right direction, you know? Except the one against women. That just seems like it was invented by men to try and control women's lives, which I wouldn't be surprised that. That's actually a big part of the world's history. But the thing that messes with that very theory, Rory, which I totally get is the number of eyewitness testimonies to their existence. Like take that of 25-year-old Diego Rios. One of this guy's most vivid childhood memories is being in the Amazon region of Ecuador, climbing trees with his cousins.

One day, the sun was shining on the front side of the tree they were preparing to scurry up. But when he looked up, they saw a dark shadow, despite the bright rays of the sun. And on one of the branches, they saw two little feet swinging. Diego says they were, quote, perfect human feet. He Diego says they were, quote, perfect human feet.

He and his cousins were terrified, screamed, and ran away, convinced they'd been visited by El Duende. Looking back in this event today, with the reasoning of an adult, he suspects that he may have seen a monkey. Yeah, I was going to say. But he can't be sure, and the memory still keeps him up at night. Wouldn't the feet have been backwards if it was... Depends what way the El Duende was sitting, I guess.

That's true. Okay, maybe that's not the best El Duende experience. But what about the story of Andres Trujillo? He's a 22-year-old engineer from Mexico, and the legend of El Duende runs deep in his family. He says, One night when my aunt was only 12 years old, she went to the bathroom. This was back when bathrooms were outside the house.

She saw a silhouette that turned out to be a small man with a big pointy hat, big ears that looked like horns and red eyes. She felt the red eyes following her everywhere. When she told her parents, my grandmother told her that the encounter was her own fault for misbehaving earlier in the day. She'd made her bed and now she had to lie in it. Awful parenting. Terrible parenting.

Absolutely dreadful. You ate too many sweeties earlier. So now you're going to be stalked by one of Satan's legion. If this person as a child told their mom who was this person's grandmother. This is an old story. This is a real old story. It is. My God. I can tell you how old by what happened next. She was told that it didn't matter if Alduende was following her.

She had to continue with her chores as usual. And they gave her garlic in her pockets and a machete for protection. Okay. Yeah, this was not... Well, hopefully it was a long time ago. Also, that's really mixed messaging, isn't it? It's like, oh, well, that's what you get for not making your bed. The night demons are going to come after you.

Now go do your chores for today. Do take the garlic though and take the machete because we don't know when these fuckers are coming back. I don't have any control over them. Sure. I think they showed up because you didn't do your chores, but honestly, anything can trigger them any moment. I've been a good girl my whole life and the bastards are on my back 24 seven. It's like, mother, you don't seem to have a grasp on why they're here. So I don't say it was because I didn't make my bed this morning. Well, I think because you didn't eat your vegetables last night, I think Old Wendy's

come along. If they open their mouth, cut them before they can speak. They speak in tongues and will entrance your soul. Or there's our final story. This one comes directly from the mouth of 53 year old Irma Gomez Walfenderg who comes from Ecuador. When she

was a child, her grandmother would tell her that Old Wendy kidnaps badly behaved children. Like you, Rory, she grew up thinking that these gnomes were actually a good thing because they reminded people to stay on the straight and narrow. But she knows they're definitely real because her son has been in contact with one

ever since he was a little boy. Whoa. She says, my first child has some kind of gift. He was four years old when I realized he was talking when he was alone. Psychologist said he had an imaginary friend and it would eventually go away. But he would tell me that he could see El Duende around the house. Well, he definitely didn't say that.

He didn't say it in those words. Papa, I see El Duende. No, you don't. I've never told you what that is before, so there's no way that that's... That's worrying

because I've never introduced you to your Ecuadorian heritage. So that's worrying that you know that word. That's very cute. How did you meet your little invisible buddy, son?

Well, when he fell from heaven with Lucifer. All right. Let's put a pin in that for now, bud. She says, I was curious. What does El Duende tell you? He doesn't tell me anything.

Just invites me to play. After two years of this, their nephew moved in with their family. He arrived at midnight. But by the next morning, he'd been harrowed by such awful dreams of El Duende that he was pale, vomiting, and close to death. Doctors were mystified, but Irma's now six-year-old son knew exactly what the problem was. He's like that because he's sleeping in my friend's bed.

Move him to another room and he'll be fine. Sure enough, when his nephew swapped bedrooms, he had a miraculous recovery. The local people were amazed at this gift that Irma's son had, and they warned her to encourage the connection he had with the gnomes. Telling him off would only close his third eye. Close it! Close the eye! But by the time the boy turned 12 he stopped talking about el duende and the subject was seemingly forgotten i remember when i first got my first playstation el duende el duende disappears the moment you have your first kiss that seems really rude for for all of the locals to be like whoa don't we't. We got a man on the inside. We got a sleeper agent. Don't let him get rid of his third eye.

They're making this, like, boy go into the gnome dimension and be like, so, friends, what are we doing this week? He's got a f***ing wire tapped to his chest. What are we doing this weekend? Terrorizing some people, perhaps?

Some young ladies, hmm? Every time he comes out of the underworld, he goes back to the adults. I'm done. He rips off his wire. I'm not doing this anymore. They're on to me. Damn it, kid. Put your shirt back on.

You know, you're our only chance, and we got it finding out what these f***ers are. You think you're going to survive on the outside? Diesel Duende is the only way you're gonna stay alive. It's like a six-year-old kid in the chief's chair. He's, like, eclipsed by the sides of it. And this chief is, like, a 50-year-old man. At one point he's just like, you got a choice, Timmy!

Die in here or die in the f***ing human world! Pulls a gat, like, against this kid's head. What'll it be? What'll it be? Oh, wait, I'll go back into the gnome world. Yeah, you f***ing will. Very, uh... Is it departed?

Yeah, very departed, yeah. And years later, when this lad was fully grown, his mother Irma brought the subject up casually to see what he remembered. He said, I remember seeing him. He wears a red tunic and is very small. He's like a child, but he is not a child. Very creepy description. Irma was a little

disturbed by his choice of words. What do you mean is? Her son, now a handsome man, looked her dead in the eyes and said, Mother, he's still at your house. He's there to protect you on my orders. Oh, no. Oh, no. He got turned. What a twist. He's one of them.

Either your son's insane. Yeah. Or the old duende are real. I would maybe request that my son end the service of this two foot bodyguard. Gently request. I don't want a little rapist gnome being my bodyguard. Yeah. Because also, you know, if you're just a normal woman who'd had like a normal life and a normal family,

why would you, you're not living a life that would facilitate needing a paranormal bodyguard. What has he been doing for the last 12 years? Nothing, presumably. Your life hasn't been at risk. There's no one coming to get you or anything. He's like, that's what you think. If you think you can get on well without me, be my guest. You knew half of the shit that I'd stopped from taking over your life.

You'll be singing El Duende's praises. Five stars on Yelp. Yeah, I think I've gotten on just fine in my life without a little Gandalf protecting me. Rory, of course, the glaring omission in this investigation so far is some physical evidence. So I thought we would take a look at some video evidence of Old Wendell. We went straight past...

You haven't even shown me a picture of this son of a bitch yet and now you're showing me his Instagram live? When you got 4K HD footage of the bitch, you don't need photos. There's no way you have that.

All right. This is certainly not 4K. There's no way you have that. Alright, this is certainly not 4K. It was taken in low light conditions. Yeah, very dark. There's a couple of men hunched over in some sort of alleyway. Very dark. This was reported by The Sun, so you know it's good. Speaking a language

I do not recognize. There's a commotion. Flipping the camera on, pointing it in the distance. What the hell? Now they're zooming down the road at some kind of... Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh, shit! Oh, that was weird, wasn't it?

Did that thing have or have not a pointy little hat? It did have a pointy little hat. We really couldn't see much more than a silhouette of the creature in the video. But, I mean mean even the black shadow kind of matches the description i mean that is a lot bigger than what is that like three and a half four they said 18 inches which is a foot and a half that's more than a foot and a half for sure i it's got a pointy hat it's the size of a monkey and it's got a pointy hat. Sure, yeah.

Wow, Rory. So we have heard the stories of Old Duende's past. We've studied the lore and now we've seen some pretty convincing physical video evidence. Hey, well, you know, fair play. I like a paranormal story where we get some video evidence. Unfortunately, usually when we include video evidence it is the final nail in the coffin for the story um because it's that you know that's why it's hard unless you know you're the video is military footage of a ufo changing direction

uh you know you're always going to get some questionable videos out there because uh creating parodies of paranormal videos is a really popular thing you know it's like clickbait those videos go viral all the time uh not saying that's what we just saw well yeah because we tried lightly here because where i can sense i'm losing you so i would ask that you put, put out of your mind, that silly stuff about El Chuzalongo, him putting the longo in El Chuzalongo. Don't say it again. Don't keep bringing that up. Sure.

Sure. Let's focus on El Duende. Sure. A very believable cryptid. Surely? No? You know, I like this story.

I know I was kind of ragging on this paranormal cryptid because he shares so many traits with a lot of other paranormal cryptids. It's kind of like when you buy an action figure at like a gas station and it will be like, it's not Captain America, but it is Patriot Man. Sure. It's like everything's a little wonky, you know? Everything's a little off.

And I feel like this is what we got now. We got a gas station cryptid. We got a gas station leprechaun it's like wow he drops a single coin sometimes but not all the times uh he's got a weirdly long penis you know no no i asked you to drop el chutzalongo okay so it's um i think we've got like a little mixed bag of paranormal cryptids here all mashed together to create this one that is being used for different agendas it seems like maybe that's why he has so many different qualities is because it feels like he's being used to like he's a tool yeah he's scaring so many people into the right track that they now realize they have to justify him having all these motivations and powers. One second, he's a pervert.

The next second, he's only a foot tall. Another second, he came from hell. One day later, he's eating children's toes because they're not grooming themselves. I will say in working on this case myself, the children's toes stuff didn't bother me too much. We've had cryptids in the past. We've had stories in the past similar to this. As you say, worst case scenario,

this is some kind of folklore used to keep children on the straight and narrow. Sure. I started to get a little worried once Alduende became a pervert criminal. Yeah.

Like you say. Because that worries me. Because in all our years... I love it wasn't a red flag enough that he was going after children's toes. You're like, yeah, that checks out to me. It's like,

oh, he's also a pervert. What? That sick son of a bitch. Talk about coming out of left field. Wow. You think you know a guy. You think you know a little toe, little toe goblin freak? And next thing you know, he's a perv?

What? Because in all our years of investigating the paranormal, when a cryptid turns out to be a pervert, it wasn't a cryptid. It was a guy. It was more often or not a man. Let's say it. And I worry. I worry that El Duende is doing a lot of heavy lifting for the sins of real, actual people out there attacking innocents.

I guess that would make more sense if he didn't have such a colorful look about him, literally, in wizard's robes and a red hat. That doesn't really... There's a lot of additional shit thrown in there. If it was a case more like the wild man, which is a beast that kind of just looks like a dude and he was going around harassing people,

you could see how that would make a lot of sense. But the fact that in these stories, he's like a very, like a two foot tall wizard. It's like, where does that come from? You know, it doesn't really make a lot of sense. Right. But I think we are roughly on the same page. I'm starting to worry that

there is some kind of mythological, some kind of folklore, you know, as real as a paranormal myth gets element to El Duende. There's some kind of traditional, legitimate gnome creature in this culture. Right. But that it's ultimately lives on being used to explain away real crimes.

Got it. We have a paranormal creature and we have human crimes and they're being brought together for some reason instead of just holding humans accountable for their own actions. I do love the video evidence we looked at at the end. Because we don't see it too often, there's something quite fun and cool about like young people doing an old-fashioned paranormal hoax.

Yeah. It really shows how alive this legend is in that culture. But it's hard to say that those will really convince us into saying that El Duende is real

and alive today. Yeah, they're quite nostalgic in a way, seeing those videos. There's something very like old internet about them, not just because they were filmed on a potato, but because like, that was a big thing. I remember when like, you know, not to, not to be the old fogies in the room, but like when the internet was really popping off and video sharing was a thing, a big thing was people sharing like jump scare videos. I mean, I guess it still is to a certain degree today, but that was a huge one was like videos like this, where it would be really grainy

footage and it would kind of look like there was something creepy going on or someone would pop out and scare you. And those videos would go viral pretty much so it's kind of it's cool to see these like artifacts of a different time absolutely and especially of a cryptid that we didn't know that much about it's true there's any such gnome wizard gnome uh rory at the end of every episode we do have to decide whether the aforementioned paranormal tale is truly paranormal or not what are you saying today on the case of el duende? It's going to be a no from me this week. Oh, holy. Straightforward.

Tell us what you really think, bud. Barely keep that one together until I finish my sentence. Yeah, I think we've said everything we need to say. Usually we, you know, for courtesy's sake,

we do a little wrap up at the end of the podcast. But it's a no. You have mentioned how little time you have and you said you would that if if i stumbled anymore you would turn into the joker i think you said yeah i don't know what happened to me honestly at the start of this podcast you remember when i couldn't say a

sentence i couldn't read a sentence that wasn't good you've drunk way too much tim hortons though i really did timmy's ride the ride's. Ride the brown train. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Just we had to do two plugs before the podcast, rather. So I just wanted to get that second one in there. I refuse to believe that this is any part of their official marketing strategy. Head on down to Brown Town.

No. With Timmy's. No. I hope it's the coffee that's brown. I hope. Open up that mouth. Guzzle down some liquid Timmy's and some Tim bits. So you're looking, you're staring straight into the camera every time.

Every time everybody talks about Tim Hortons, he stares into the camera and delivers their supposed marketing strategy. They mentioned in the fine print that every time that I mentioned Tim Hortons, I have to be looking directly at the camera. It's a no. It's a double no. It's a double no, unfortunately. You know what is a double yes the smooth taste of tim the smooth taste of tim horton's coffee with those tiny delicious little tim bits drizzled in that guzzling guzzling honey the honey is guzzling guzzling thank you for listening to uh this investigation into all

things el Duende. Hope you've enjoyed it. Thank you to Amy Grisdale for researching this episode. That was a great case. That was a great case. We make it a point on this show to have a strong mix between very serious, important paranormal cases. Which this was. I agree.

And hypothetically, sillier ones. Sure. Like Trenise. The Rory ones, sillier ones. Sure. Yeah. The Rory ones, I like to call them. Like, two foot wizard. So like,

naked two foot wizard with a massive penis. Would be an example of like a hard hitting kind of New York Times level investigative piece. Whereas let's say like the Flying Dutchman or something like,

that's like a fun for all the family kind of case. Well, it's kind of historical. Like a historical one and talked a lot about the pirate. Historically, it's goofy.

And the aquatic adventures of men throughout history. So it wasn't, you know, scientific. It was a laugh. It really was a laugh. Whereas the crimes of little perverts running around South America with wizard hats. That is serious. It really is. The crimes of perverts is very serious.

But hopefully today was a great episode. Hopefully you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed hosting it. And if you did enjoy this week's episode, why not throw us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify Podcasts, wherever you listen. Very likely it's possible to give us a review. Hopefully a good one. Hopefully like five stars if you really enjoyed it.

It helps us enormously over the years to kind of get in the charts, reach new listeners, grow the show, which in turn helps us make new episodes. Yeah, I know we always say

if you're a fan, join the Patreon, buy some merch. We love it when people support the show. But if you just don't want to splash the cash, this is the easiest way

to help out. And as you said, it really does make a difference. And without giving a peek through the curtain too much uh we get a roundup every monday of sent to us by email automatically of every review we got that week and me and rory's entire mood for the week will be determined by the quality of that email we're not this isn't even a joke. It's not. This is like disturbingly true.

We get a chartable email every, is it Monday? I think it is. Monday night. I think it's like five past six in the evening or something. It will make or break my entire week, depending on what is being delivered into it. So be kind. It's like a monkey paw hell wish, isn't it? It's like, oh, you want reviews for your podcast?

How about we send you every review the night before your work week starts? Your job, you probably have performance reviews, what, every three months, every six months, every year? Yeah. How would you like it every Monday? If a jury of your peers address their complaints and praises to you while you feel, not literally, but feel butt naked on all fours in front of them.

That's what it feels like. Every star you give is like a spank to Rory's naked ass. So give us five spanks on Amazon or give us five Spanx on Spotify and Apple Music and podcasts and all of that jazz. We would appreciate it a lot. We would so very much appreciate it. Of course, the other best way to support This Paranormal Life is through

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it's true there are silly ones as says, and there are serious ones. It's a good mix. More serious ones than silly ones, because obviously, because those are behind closed doors, we can, you know, just disclose our nation's secrets. We can really... A lot of doxing public officials. It's like kind of funny. We do some jokes at the start, but then it's also just like the blueprints to parliament.

I just. Like, you know, just hypothetically, if you wanted to get in and out undetected. The location of the world's largest diamonds and how to deactivate the laser security grid that surrounds said diamond. Just information that the public might find valuable. How to squeeze the glands of a toad to create a poison so deadly that it's untraceable,

because those who smelt it die. And sometimes, Boris Johnson's pin number. Just for fun. So head on over to patreon.com for all of the above. Like we say, thank you so much for tuning into this week's investigation. We of course be back next tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale in the meantime remember to live fast investigate and die young baby