This Paranormal Life - #256 The South Shields Poltergeist

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

This week we cover one of the UK's most famous hauntings, the South Shields Poltergeist, where a young family in North East England were TORMENTED by an invisible intruder living inside their house. What does this paranormal pest want? Can the family find a way to banish it? It's time for Rory and Kit to investigate... Grab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to https://nordvpn.com/tpl or use the code tpl to get a Huge Discount off your NordVPN Plan + 1 additional month for free + a bonus gift! It’s completely risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee!Buy Official TPL Merch! -  thisparanormallife.com/storeSupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to bonus episodes!Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityAdvertise on This Paranormal Life via Gumball.fmEdited by Kami TomanResearch by Amy GrisdaleIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are billionaires controlled by the devil? What will we call the Loch Ness Monster if it ever moves house? All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Hello everyone and welcome to This Paranormal Life, the comedy paranormal podcast where myself, Rory Powers, and the man, the myth, the legend, the beast sitting across from me, Kit Greer, we investigate a brand new paranormal tale and come to a conclusion definitively as to whether or not it is truly paranormal. Uh, sorry, bud. That's Kit Greer Mulvana to you. You've never wanted to be called that on the podcast before.

I'm sorry. I got married. I'll have you know. Yeah, but that's your name. That was your name before the marriage. I think I know about my own name, bud. And I just would ask that you cut this from the show. Go back and say it right.

Okay. Because I don't want to seem uptight on the show, but you gotta get my name right, bud want to seem uptight on the show, but you got to get my name right, bud. You are uptight. Right now, this is being uptight. Me just not mentioning your double barrel.

We're not uptight. Can we pause for a fricking second? Calm down for one second, all right? I'm worried if I do cut it and we just pretend like it never happened, you're still acting very uptight. So if we just continue- So you're saying I need to come back down in order for this to track?

What is this voice that you're doing? I'm not doing the voice. Okay. Let's just continue. I'll cut it out and we'll pretend like it never happened. I'm concerned my neck muscles are going to look awfully taut on camera. They're bulging. From the shoulders up, you look like an erect penis.

It's very off-putting. Okay. All right. Let's just, I'll cut that out and we'll just read like, just come down, okay? Sorry, man. I'm joined today by my good friend, my lifelong friend and colleague, Kit Greer. Small manner! Small manner!

Come on, man! I forgot! How am I supposed to not be tight? My palms are sweating because I want to throttle you. You're scaring me, dude. Kit Greer Movena. Sorry, Kit Greer Movena is his full name. Ask me how I am doing.

How are you doing today, sir? Fine. Thanks for calling me by my correct name. I'm doing great, Roy. How are you doing today, sir? Fine. Thanks for calling me by my correct name. I'm doing great, Roy. How are you doing today? I've actually called you Malvena before on the podcast because I don't know why I've done that sometimes like as a goof throughout the years,

referred to you just as Malvena. And I think when I first did it, it threw a bunch of people because they thought you were only Kit Greer, not Kit Greer Malvena. So when I call you Malvena people were like who is Malvena is there like a third guy

in the studio that never talks but is on the podcast it's very true because growing up I have a long name I started just shortening it

for the sake of argument and then then you realize the monkey's out of the bottle and no one knows your real name anymore so then you gotta try and get the monkey back in the bottle so sorry for getting a bit uptight because sometimes the monkey's out of the bottle and uh no one knows your real name anymore uh so then you've

got to try and get the monkey back in the bottle so sorry for getting a bit uptight because sometimes the monkey gets stressed sometimes the monkey's been locked up for too long and the monkey needs a street banana the bottle bananas aren't cutting it anymore uh we never even say my full name on the podcast either rory should. We should. Rory Sex Powers. Hold on. That's not the name I was thinking of. I was thinking of Rory Patrick Powers.

No, no. Rory Sex Powers was. That's your middle name? Sex is my middle name. Yes. Like my father and his father before him. I come from a line

of horny. Is that a name you have to earn? Or are you just born into it? You're born into it, brother. Trust me. Look, let's, let's, let's cut the crap, guys. You came here to hear about the paranormal, not about our ridiculous names.

So why don't we just dive into today's case? Now, today's story, folks, I think you're really going to enjoy it. We cover a lot of stuff on this podcast. We cover cryptids. We cover UFO abductions. And of course, we cover hauntings, poltergeists, ghosts. Today, we have a classic haunting. We're talking textbook haunting right here.

So I want you guys to just sit back, enjoy the next hour. Maybe lower the lights, light some candles, do a seance, and just enjoy the ride. Today we're going back to December 2005. A great year, 14 years old, just old enough to start watching 15 movies. My parents would let me. Yeah, no, you're not. By your own admission, you're not old enough. But you look old enough to lie at the video rental place. Just old enough to drink, have sex. To be fair,

not far off the drinking age. The unofficial drinking age of Northern Ireland. That's true. It was about 14. We are, it is December.

So let's get some, let's get some Jingle Bells music in here and maybe some snow sound effects. We're in South Shields in the northeast of England. It's home to a young couple named Mark and Marianne and their three-year-old son Robert. We don't know their

full names because they've requested to remain anonymous in the press. A little insight to just how buck wild this shit is gonna get. One cold winter's night, the family came home from an outing, ready to tackle the evening routine of bath time and putting the baby to bed. Been there myself, I know all about it.

As a new father, I know all about it. You get home after a long day's work, you just want a nice bath before you hit the hay, but your f***ing child won't give you five minutes to have a nice relaxing bath time. No, no, that's not what they're talking about here. They're talking about the routine of bath time, I believe, is the bathing of the baby. Sorry, that's ridiculous.

The baby hasn't worked a day in its life. Why would it need a bath time? What does it need to relax after? I've been working. I need to relax. The one thing I know about babies is they're pretty infamous for shitting their own pants 24-7. So I don't think the fact that it doesn't have a job means it doesn't need to be washed. My baby shits at most once every few hours, which is still less than me. I'm so stressed out from working all day. I've been shitting myself in between each round of emails and Zoom meetings.

Of course I need a bath to relax and to clean the shit off my... This is getting graphic, but I'm just saying I've been there before. You should stop doing work and see a doctor. You're saying I should bathe my baby instead of me every night. Both of yourselves. It sounds like you should both be in that bath together. And I should leave some nappies for them. Never mind.

Let's move on. I don't even want to address that. As I said, they tried to continue their evening routine, but this night was going to be anything but routine. Walking into the kitchen, Marianne was puzzled to see that their dining chairs were stacked neatly on top of the table. Naturally, at first, she suspects her husband, but can't figure out his motivation. Mark, darling, what have you done with the chairs?

He wandered in with his sleepy son. Seeing the chairs, he stopped in his tracks. Uh, that wasn't me. He spooked. His mind jumps to the logical yet terrifying conclusion that somebody has been in their house. And for all he knows, they're still there. That's bad. Either someone's been in your house or you've got a

freakishly strong child right you're just stacking shit for fun to freak out his mom and dad you know this happens to everyone they go grab their car keys and they're like huh my car keys aren't on the table yeah they're in the living room that That's a little bit weird sometimes, but logically you can understand that maybe you did that and you forgot that you did it. It was a subconscious movement. Something small like that.

Sure. Or in my case, huh, I could have sworn I left out a box of adult diapers for first thing this morning, but it seems like I used them all up, but I'm sure I only shit myself four times yesterday. For your sake, I'm'm gonna cut all of that from the podcast so don't i think the

less we talk about you and people can't relate to that yeah i don't think they can bud i'm sorry sure but you had the right sentiments things going missing adult diapers uh sure one example uh phones wallets, keys. Mark is pretty freaked out and believes that there could be an intruder in the house. Mark searches the entire house from top to bottom, but he doesn't find anybody and nothing else is out of place. They're both weirded out, but seeing as nothing else seems to be wrong, they get their little boy ready for bed

and then turn themselves in. And then turn in themselves. And turn themselves into the authorities. We've obviously lost it. We can't look after this child anymore. Noticing there was nothing else wrong, they put Robert in a basket, floated him downriver,

and turned themselves in. You're safer and better off in Mother Nature's kind embrace, Robert. The baby floats downstream straight off a waterfall. They're just a crocodile with an open mouth wading downriver.

Ah, Jesus. They'll raise him as one of their own. No, the very opposite. They have a great night's sleep, and the next few weeks pass by with nothing out of the ordinary happening at the house. At this point, the family are starting to forget about the whole chair thing altogether. Christmas comes and goes, and they continue living their normal lives. Until a few weeks later. All of a sudden, small objects in the house start going missing.

But they don't just disappear. They turn up tucked away in random places in the house. Okay, this is weird. A one-off situation. The chairs are stacked in the kitchen. Sure, Mark had a few too many tenant special brews one evening. He forgot he stacked them. Whereas this takes some kind of consistent action.

Truly, either one of them has lost their complete marbles or something more unusual is going on. It's true. I remember when I was at university, one night I would come back drunk and do the dishes. And I'd wake up the next morning and be like, huh, well done, drunk Rory. You actually did some pretty good work here. Then one day I came back drunk and ate every bit of food I had in the kitchen. Bad drunk Rory. You shouldn't have done that.

So I can see how you could almost explain away stacking these chairs on top of the table. Granted, I don't know if Mark was coming home blasted off four loco like University Rory See how you could almost explain away stacking these chairs on top of the table. Granted, I don't know if Mark was coming home blasted off for loco like University Rory was. Right. It sounds like Mark hasn't got into the house later than 7 p.m. in years at this point. So a little unusual. Yeah. And I will say, like we said, it's one thing to just leave your keys in one room and then they turn up in the other.

If your keys turn up inside of a jar of f***ing mayonnaise, that's a little weird. You didn't do that accidentally. Oh, where's my shoes? In the oven? I'm losing my mind apparently. Because this is very strange. And like a lot of our stories, things only escalated. One January afternoon, Marianne came upstairs only to find a heavy chest of drawers from their bedroom sitting out on the landing. It didn't make any sense. She'd been home all morning and hadn't heard a thing. Plus, the thing is so damn heavy, it would take two people to lift it. Maybe three.

Nah, that's different. That's different. Because that's a lot of work moving a heavy piece of furniture like that presumably with everything still in in the drawers as well this is also starting to get worrying because i haven't forgotten that this is a paranormal podcast i haven't forgotten the potential subject of this investigation and this is bearing a remarkable resemblance to, I think it was the Enfield haunting. I want to say the chest of drawers in the bedroom

was one of the first things to go. Really? Is that true? Yeah, I seem to remember there was like drawers opening and closing or maybe a set of drawers getting dragged out from the wall. Right. Paranormal spirits hate organized storage. They love chaos, you know? So if you have a unit that can tightly pack things away in drawers, that's, that's needling them.

They hate Muji. They hate the Muji company. Those storage loving f**ks. How dare they try and organize things to that degree? This is particularly worrying because what happens if you wake up one morning and the ghost decided to move you? You're in a lake now. Right. Your baby's in France. Your baby's kicking back in Provence, sipping on a Chateauneuf-du-Pape.

But you don't know that. Right. There's no air tags back in 2005. You can't track the baby down. That's a real fear. If this thing can move a heavy set of chess by itself, it could throw your baby like an American football a hundred yards into the end zone. Yeah. Like Tom Brady.

Yeah. This potential ghost has really shown its hand and how strong that hand is. She spent the rest of the afternoon in the lounge downstairs, feeling helpless and scared. When Mark got home, she filled him in on the situation. Mark, you won't believe it. I was minding my own business, working downstairs when I went to put the washing away and I noticed... Before she can finish her sentence, there's a deafening thud with a gust of wind. The door to their bedroom slammed shut. But it's the middle of winter in Northern England. None of the windows in the house are even open. Quite worrying that this potential ghost is so bloody fond of their

bedroom. Like, why can it not be the utility? Why can it not be the store cupboard? Like, at least we rarely have to go there. Doesn't really have to be where I lay my head at night. Let's just say what we're all thinking here, folks. It's a sex ghost. Whoa! I don't know if such a being exists, but that's the vibe I'm getting here.

Oh, because you really delivered the line, it's a sex ghost, as if you knew what that was. Had the authority to make that claim. Yeah, make that distinction between the paranormal.

I'm just saying, they come home from work and the poltergeist has actually put the baby to bed. He's moved the drawers into the hallway and opened up the lingerie section. He's lit a couple of candles.

F***ing johnnies are flying through the windows. Oh my God. It turns out this is just Mark's very ham-fisted way of trying to reignite some love in their relationship. He's like, it's so weird.

But I mean, if the freaking lingerie is right here, do you want to try it on, babe? He's like, I'm terrified. Of course not. I'm getting a message from the other side, darling. Bang your husband. What do you think that could mean? That couldn't be a message for me. Do you think that's a message for you think that could mean? That couldn't be a message for me.

Do you think that's a message for you? Could it be? The ghost is saying that Mark actually works really hard at work and does a lot of effort to take care of you and the kids and would it break your back to once in a while make love to your husband, darling?

Now you're just talking to me. But I mean, getting back to the crux of the matter here sex ghost i hope that that is the last thing i want to hear if if i hire uh clairvoyant if i hire a medium to contact the other side and they go well it's a sex ghost if i wasn't already going to move house i am now well i guess uh you know, sex ghost is kind of, isn't that basically what like a succubus is? Oh, yeah. I don't know a lot about those, but I believe it's a, is that a female ghost that preys on men?

I think. Is it a demon though? Or is it a ghost? I don't remember. Anyway, back to our story. The door just slammed shut with a sudden gust of wind, a mysterious gust of wind. Of course, this woke Robert up. Great, now Robert's awake. Hours later, the weary couple headed to bed. Sure, things lately have

been trending in a bad direction, but maybe, just maybe, tomorrow morning, everything would be alright. They turned off the lights and headed to sleep. Mark's horny ass turned the lights off and went to sleep, dreaming that maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow he would make love to his wife. The next morning, Marianne woke up to an object whacking her in the head. What the f**k? She jolted awake and flipped on the light switch. Right on her lap is a stuffed dog toy. It was as if something or someone had thrown it right at her face full pelt. Whoa. Then all of a sudden, another soft toy hit her square in the forehead.

This is bullshit. I'm already so angry when I wake up first thing in the morning. Whatever's facing me with the coming day. If I was woken up by this taunting, I'd be furious. Someone throwing toys at you. I guess it's better than like a saucepan or something or like a brick, a cinder block.

At least a cinder block would kill me, put me out of my misery or a saucepan would knock my ass out. But a soft toy, I still got to keep facing the day. It taunts you and keeps you conscious at the same time which is not what you want i want the brick to hit me and for me to go back to sleep i wake up every morning praying someone will hit me with a cinder block begging to put me out of my misery i'm giving robert a brick say you just daddy down. You can do it, son.

Your old man doesn't have the balls to do it himself. Marianne has no idea what's going on. Mark, who's doing it? Who's throwing things at me? Mark is awake, but he's lost for words. He saw the whole thing happen, but he can't explain it. Nothing through the toy. It just appeared. How do you explain that one?

Nothing threw the toy. It just appeared. How do you explain that one? Suddenly, toys hit the couple from every angle. Marianne screams. They dived under the duvet for cover, but it's pulled away from them. Oh no. The couple huddled together in fear as plushie after plushie rained down upon them. These toys are defective. Take them back.

Then the storm calmed. The couple sat silently in bed, too stunned to move. But when Mark slowly got up to leave the bed, slashes started appearing over his skin. Oh, what the f***? Good Lord! Thirteen long red scratches materialized on his back right before Marianne's eyes. Oh, it feels like a claw. Marianne has no idea how to help.

Mark's scratches aren't deep enough to be bleeding. So she says, look, why don't we just try and go back to bed? Maybe if we fall asleep again, this thing will leave us alone. This time Mark threw a soft toy at her. What the f*** are you talking about, Marianne? It seems to only be scratching you. So I'mma get a quick cat nap and it'll be fine

in the morning. As I say, as a new parent, I can respect this dedication to sleep. Right, they're being tormented and they're like, look, I'm only getting scratched so I'm gonna go back to bed. Look, there may be a demon in the house, but Robert's still asleep. And I don't know, he might wake up and that'll be worse than whatever's happening to you right now.

Robert, that demon is still passed out. So we're going back to bed. Mark agrees and awkwardly turns on his side, his back throbbing in pain. This is not real. This is not real. Eventually. If I got 13 lashes, I'm not going back to sleep. I can't sleep if I can't sleep. If I've got a couple of emails I have to send, I'm not going to sleep after that. See, I'm a little bit of Rory lore for you folks. I'm quite happy that I am one of the few people in this world that can pretty much fall asleep

in seconds. If I get into bed and I put my head on a pillow and close my eyes, within a minute, I am asleep. I once fell asleep in bed mid-conversation with someone while I was talking to them.

Rory has never seen a movie in a cinema because the seats are too comfy. He sits down and before the first trailer is over. Oh yeah. I mean, when I went to go see Inception, as soon as the opening credits happened, I blacked out in my chair, woke up. Everyone's talking about the crazy dreams. And I thought we all fell asleep. Rory's entire life, he thought movies were dreams. It's hard to explain, but it's unique to him. At the end of Inception, where they play the music that wakes everyone up,

didn't work on old Rory. I woke up 3 a.m., cinema closed, popcorn in my shoes. More confusing than I've ever been in my life. I could think of worse places to be locked overnight in than a cinema. You're thinking that the movies play while you're in there overnight. No, I'm thinking the snack bar is free. All right, well, now you're talking about looting and robbing an establishment. That's different.

They had it coming. With those prices, they had it coming. It's not f***ing home alone. That's different. guess you probably could if you were locked in a cinema overnight you probably could make a claim to the police where you're like look they locked me in a brother's gotta eat right it's true in terms of venues probably cinema isn't the worst of all of them bowling alley maybe the worst no actually bowling alley be pretty sweet as well if it's a bowling alley in london those places serve cocktails and shit i'm making my own cocktails. I kind of want to stress it off. My strategy is raid the bitch as soon as I get locked inside.

It doesn't matter the venue. It sounds like you just want to be somewhere where you can loot. I think it was on a recent bonus episode. We were talking about the last survivor, the supposed last man live on Earth. True. Broadcasting on TikTok from the future. And whenever I was editing that episode,

I thought it was funny that you can't really talk because you said the first thing you would do was go to McDonald's and eat all the Big Macs, which I thought was really funny when I was editing it because I thought it was amusing that you thought the Big Macs would be like ready to be eaten. It's like, you're going to have to go and work a shift at McDonald's to make all your own Big Macs.

They're not ready to go. They're not ready to go. And like, out of some fear that someone would get there first if I didn't go immediately. I'm the only man on earth. F***, I've got to get down to McDonald's before someone gets the Big Macs. I don't even like Big Macs.

He's like, you need water. If you don't find water in 45 minutes, you're dead. Don't eat salty, salty burgers. They're going to dehydrate. Look, they decide to go to sleep anyway. And it works. The next morning when they open their eyes, everything seems to be calm. Mark sat up and twisted his arm around, trying to feel the scratches on his back.

But they're gone. It's nothing but smooth skin. Oh. Mark sat up and twisted his arm around, trying to feel the scratches on his back. But they're gone. It's nothing but smooth skin. Oh. Very strange. This is weird. Mark and Marianne are so scared that they decide to bring in the big guns. Two men of the most respected profession of all time. Paranormal investigators.

A double act named Hallowell and Ritson. I guess Kit and Rory weren't available on them, alright? Well, I was gonna say, you know, I know that there's a lot of famous paranormal investigating duos out there. Ed and Lorraine Warren. Shane and Ryan. Sure. Of course. Kit and Rory.

Sorry, Kit Greer Mulvena. And Rory... And Rory. Sorry, Kit Greer Mulvena. And Rory... And Rory's sexy powers. But I had never heard of Hallowell and Ritson before. I did a little bit of research, and while I couldn't find a lot about the cases that they had investigated, they have written a lot of books about the paranormal, including The Haunting of Willington Mill, a book just called Ghost Taverns, which I assume is some sort of roundup of ghostly taverns across the UK.

And they did actually write a book, possibly two, on the South Shield's haunting as well. This haunting that we're talking about today. You have to assume if you've written that many books, it means you've been involved in paranormal investigations at these locations. True. We are not above exploiting people's sad paranormal experiences for cash through podcasting. It's very true. Tell people you're going to help them. Pretty much just write it all down in a notebook and leave.

So Hallowell and Ritson joined the haunting, bringing paranormal equipment and years of training with them. But even they were going to get more than they bargained for. Hallowell and Renson basically came to the house every day for months. They're borderline co-renting at this point. If it wasn't cramped enough already with the family and a ghost, now you've got two dudes in the house f***ing with the ghost. Every ghost story goes through this bit. The bit where the family should have left the house

already but they can't yeah and i appreciate that that's probably due to financial constraints and that's why we have launched the this paranormal life get the f**k out fund this is for families who find themselves in a situation with a ghost hunting them, and they may not have the cash to rent somewhere temporarily while the paranormal investigators can go in and do their job. Yeah. So we want to make sure that this never happens to another family again, that they don't have to get lashed every night by a very sadistic ghost. They can instead stay in a nice hotel while the professionals, us, do the job.

And now, a word from our sponsors. This week's episode is sponsored by NordVPN. Kit, as a paranormal podcaster, I need my internet connection to be secure. Security is the name of the game. The last time I had something that wasn't secure, my tiger escaped. You have a tiger? Not anymore. All right, well, you would still have a tiger if your cage was as secure as NordVPN. I don't know about that. He was actually pretty strong. Look, we all hate it when you have to log on to random Wi-Fi you don't know is safe, or when you're locked out of content online because of location restrictions. I personally love it because I can keep my location set to home when I'm traveling so I don't get weird ads or different versions of websites.

And I like being able to stay anonymous while googling things like how to catch a tiger, what type of bait do tigers eat. You have to stop talking about the tiger. You know this is an ad, so we can't keep bringing up the tiger. I can change my virtual location using NordVPN, but I'm going to have to change my real location if that tiger ever hunts me down. Head on over to nordvpn.com forward slash tpl or use the code tpl at checkout to get a discount on your plan

plus one additional month for free and a bonus gift. Thanks, NordVPN. Of course, as I said, having two paranormal investigators in the house doesn't make this spirit happy. Cupboard doors swing open by themselves. Blankets fly off beds. This thing is scratching the shit out of Mark.

He's like pulled pork at this point. He's in shreds. What did he do to deserve this? I think this sex ghost wants his wife. Maybe this sex ghost is just a little kinkier than we thought and it's doing some scratchy play. Now look, I'm coming at this case as a skeptic, but also as a hopeful believer.

How can you be both? So you'll understand how worried I was when the case mentioned that one of the most convincing bits of evidence that the men found was a water bottle standing diagonally. Oh no. I do have a picture

of a water bottle standing diagonally. I don't know if this is the actual one from the case. Or if this is a reenactment. Or if it's a reenactment. But as to give you an idea as to some of the bizarre occurrences that were taking place in this house, please look at this picture

kit. Of course the bottle didn't stay diagonal long enough. Oh f*** off. It's pretty bizarre. Oh my God. This afternoon is a waste of time. I just said I don't even know if this is the actual one.

This is the evidence brought to bear by two professional paranormal investigators. Supposedly this ghost was throwing things around a room, ripping chunks out of a man's back. It was moving furniture. And Roy just showed me a JPEG of a water bottle on its side. The format of the image is irrelevant, sir. Don't toss around the word JPEG like that. It could be a PNG for all I know. He showed me an NFT of a water bottle. I agree. I am 100% on your side. If all of this crazy shit is happening, why is the only bit of evidence or alleged evidence a water bottle leaning slightly askew on a tabletop? I mean, if we have to get into the reasons why that's bad evidence, it's unlikely, but extremely possible.

Yeah, I would agree with you. I'm pretty sure I've seen vines and TikToks of people doing the water bottle challenge and then it lands on its side like this. Yeah. Look, I'm right there with you. At this point in my research, I was ready to throw in the towel. We rolled the dice on this case and we lost. As a hard-nosed skeptic yet hopeful believer, I was ready to throw in the towel.

But the next part, Kit. I know we said that this was a haunting just like any other that we've covered on this podcast before, but this next part was something that I'd never heard of or seen in a haunting case before. Something unprecedented. Go on. the house, getting ready to leave, when they noticed something in Robert's room. In his toy corner, Robert had a magnetic drawing board, usually covered in his imaginative scribbles. But this time, it looked like there was something written on it. Oh no. Just go now! I have a picture of the writing on the board. You're telling me a three-year-old did that?

I think the funniest thing is that it is in very playful writing. Backwards letters and a little cute smile. I was expecting this to be carved in blood Into the Etch-a-Sketch Right It looks like a little girl's writing That is so funny Okay Don't really know what to make of that

Pretty weird I mean, yes Also, I don't want to be a hard-nosed skeptic here But pretty hoaxable. Pretty easy to achieve. Yeah, if someone was trying to promote this story and get, you know, drum up some hype, doesn't take much for mommy or daddy to sneak in and write this message. Yeah. I completely agree with you. You're not convinced just yet, but luckily, we've still got more to go if you thought this was crazy this

paranormal beast is making its way up through technology because next thing we know mariana starts getting text messages from the ghost what all right this is a this paranormal life first we've had emails from the 1500s but a a ghost has never iMessaged someone. I had never heard of this in my life. And I did do a bit of research. There are other stories out there where people claim they have gotten text messages from ghosts before. So I think that is almost a whole other episode that we could do. But it does happen to Mariana. All right. There's layers to this. We'll get into it. Show me what you got to Mariana. All right, there's layers to this. We'll get into it.

Show me what you got to show me. Well, yeah, you got to hear the text first before you want to decide whether or not it's even a laughing matter. So don't f***ing giggle. Sit there and giggle when a family's future is on the line. This text is clearly from O2 Mobile. It was about roaming. Yeah, it was a Halloween promotion from Vodafone. They said, boom.

Sell your souls to a 12-month Vodafone contract. Roam the world of the living and the EU with lower rates than ever. Just go now. Down to EE to avail of this new deal. Day after day, her phone pinged. Someone or something was threatening her life. Messages like, you're dead.

And I'm going to get you, B word. Oh, that's quite enough. He obviously didn't say B word, but we don't like to use that word when it's targeted towards women. But we are getting an idea of just how violent and aggressive this person or spirit is. This B word of a ghost. As you said, we've had a case where someone was getting emails from the 1500s, but never texts from a ghost before.

I think the reason it becomes very unusual and suspicious is because the nature of these kind of digital communications are highly traceable. In theory, this text message has a sender number in theory, right? The emails should have an email address. They came from, how can we not track this?

It's one thing. If you have like an FM radio and you're getting like voices kind of bleeding. Yeah. Oh yeah. But if you're just getting a kind of bleeding. Leave now. Oh, yeah. But if you're just getting a text being like, yo, this is actually my crib. I'd really appreciate if you guys would peace the f*** out

or I'm gonna dropkick your baby into the nearest lamppost. Peace. That would be weird, but I would understand. It's a little too tangible, but I don't want to have that prejudice because ghost stories are synonymous with different forms of communication over the years. We shouldn't just swat aside any ghost story

that uses a piece of technology after the year 1985. Yeah, it's true. Like, are those stories where they're using older technology more common just because we romanticize that kind of horror story? They've been around longer, yeah. Yeah, I think so. Let's not rule anything out. technology more common just because we romanticize that kind of crime story? Yeah, I think so. Let's not rule anything out.

And certainly, Mariana doesn't. She's so scared that she gives her phone over to the police to track down the culprit. But, they can't trace it back to any known phone or computer in existence. Is that because it's 2005 and tracking technology isn't developed properly? Or because

the text messages are coming from hell? Whoa. Just a theory. That's a personal theory of yours? It is, yeah. Is there any basis for this theory that it may be coming from hell? The flame emojis put at the end? I hope not. I don't think emoji existed yet, so that would be pretty wild. As if the message to the family wasn't clear enough, one morning, Robert's rocking horse was found hung in the loft by one of its reins. Oh, that's not nice. Things are getting a bit threatening, aren't they? And we only have one source for this, and yes, it is anonymous, but allegedly, one morning, a chair appeared at the top

of the staircase with a large bunny toy resting on it holding a box cutter in one of its rabbit paws okay all right this is getting what what's the premise here that that it's like leave or else or else you'll get yeah is it a visual metaphor or is the bunny actually going to come to life and do it yeah is it like you know Mr. Bunny says

hop hippity hoppity hop the f*** out of here out of my little rabbit hole or else he's gonna cut you or is he like

I will possess this rabbit and he will come to life and he will he'll do a lot more than scratch mark let me tell you

alright here's a off the dome theory right now okay what if this is what you would do if you and your other half were in a house and one of you wanted to move house and the other didn't what if like mark is doing this to marianne setting up all the stuff around the house trying to get her to move it's a good theory for sure i'd like to think that there's enough

crazy stuff going on here that you are now jeopardizing your relationship with your wife just to move house right yeah i guess is he lashing himself in the middle of the night hard to know like yeah also if uh if marianne here is here's a noise at night and goes in to check on robert flips on the switch and mark is down on his hands and knees writing get the f*** out on a whiteboard. There's very little. It's a high stakes bet. That's for sure.

Or flip that script. Is Mark just asleep at night and Marianne is just scratching his back as he lies there? Explain why she wanted to go back to sleep because she's tired

from pulling all these pranks. I do like that though. You know, let's let's not rule anything out. This podcast is all about theories and conclusions. All I'm saying is people are loco, especially in 2005, the infamous loco years. Now, despite all of these events, Halliwell and Ritson are really no closer to understanding what is causing these problems. What do you think, Ritson?

Could this all be a hoax? I'm not so sure. The parents seem scared shitless. Nobody's that good at acting. I can't really explain what I've seen here. There's something all right, and it doesn't feel like a playful little kid. I think it wants to scare them. Now, as far as hauntings go, this one is already pretty bad.

But it wasn't enough, as the family still remained in the house. However, having investigated so many similar stories in the past, we know exactly what typically pushes families like this over the line. The spirit started f***ing with the kid. Oh yeah, there's only one way this can end. Because the family had disregarded all of the other poltergeist messages, three-year-old Robert is now fair game. I don't know what it is about children.

It's like, for some reason, to ghosts, an adult is like a car with all the security features fitted, alarm system, tracker, mobilizer, maybe even a clamp on the wheels. And yet they view children as a motorbike with the keys in the ignition and left running. The children are just ready to go, ready to be possessed at the drop of a hat. It's true's true now i will say in credit to this poltergeist he kind of did things by the book he gave them a very fair warning he wasn't like day one swinging robert through the air like a lasso he he did things by the book you know he was like hey i'm just gonna move some shit around maybe they'll get the message you're not i'll write it

on a whiteboard i can't spell it out for you anymore. Clearly, guys, get the f*** out of my house. I'm scratching your husband up to pieces like a cat. Yeah. You're still not gonna go? Fine! Fine, all right? Your baby's going to hell with me now. Is that what you wanted? Your sons of bitches? Your baby's crawling the walls like a spider. You happy? You happy, Mark? One night, the parents are horrified to find Robert's cot unoccupied. They run frantically room to room until they discover him wrapped tight in his bedclothes like a burrito. Relief floods through them when they see their sweet little son sleeping. Does ghosts turn their boy into a Mexican snack? A burrito boy.

Marianne bent down to pick him up and carry him back to bed, but suddenly she jumped back in alarm. Robert's breathing heavily, as if he's in a deep slumber, but his eyes are wide open. Robert? Marianne stammers. It's as if he's in a deep trance. He's carried back to bed and eventually closes his eyes to sleep under her watchful eye. After this, she is checking on him multiple times throughout the night, paranoid something bad is going to happen. After a few weeks of sleepless nights and constant back and forth to make sure he's safe, she calms down a little bit. But one night, when she goes in to check on him, he isn't even in his bed. Mark and Mariana begin to panic. They rush around the house, crying out his name. And eventually they find him tucked away in the closet.

Like a burrito. Of course, this is the last straw. You're ba- you know, cause where's- what's the next step? The baby's not in the closet. The baby's's gone the baby's 200 yards down the road this is uh quite a good advertisement for why you should have a pet because a pet is a good offering to the dark lord if he wants to possess something in the house at least you're buying yourself some time no that's i think i said this before in the podcast you can offer up your your cat or your dog as a sacrifice so that the humans, who are much more important, of course, are safe for longer. I'm so worried that I almost agree with you there. I thought you were saying it's good to have a pet, like a big dog, so when supernatural occurrences start going on.

The spirit goes into the dog. No. The dog leaps off a bridge or whatever the fuck. No, you son of a bitch. Tiny Robert is fine The dog barks the dog alerts you to protect you from

the paranormal entity the dog isn't possessed I mean if he wants to do that before he gets possessed thanks thanks little buddy and uh see you in the afterlife

You're like basing him up putting him up on a little platter You just sleep up here tonight bud Putting the dog to bed like hey buddy just sleep with this in your mouth a little platter. You just sleep up here tonight, bud. Putting the dog to bed like, hey, buddy,

just sleep with this in your mouth, a little apple, like a roast pig. I think what you need is a pet to defend your child against the paranormal.

But I wouldn't go cat or dog because, you know, poltergeists have probably seen a bunch of those. I would maybe go like monkey. In your child's room at night, have a wild monkey you know poltergeists have probably seen a bunch of those i would maybe go like monkey in your in

your child's room at night have a wild monkey because that's gonna scare off humans and demons that's gonna scare your child they're gonna be traumatized the monkey might eat them well when when your kid grows up and he's 16 years old talk with his new friends and he's like yeah man i i actually grew up not too far from here uh me and my monkey bodyguard uh stayed in the room of that house they're like sorry you're your monkey bodyguard yeah for the for the demons you guys didn't uh you didn't have a monkey bodyguard who had a dagger in his teeth no yeah me neither uh also teach my monkey bodyguard at my homework so there's that you know i'm just saying if you're gonna have an animal as a bodyguard for your child maybe go think outside the box scorpion all right you have to know that's not safe the baby's in a crib which is basically

like a little protective cage the scorpion as long as the bars in the crib, which is basically like a little protective cage. The scorpion. As long as the bars in the crib are smaller than the diameter of the scorpion. Yeah, that's true. You should be right. Unless the scorpion has a big long tail and then it could stab the baby through. It might. All right. This needs work.

And I do think the smaller the scorpion, the more deadly it is. So I want this thing to be borderline microscopic. I want it to be airborne. I want my baby to be able to inhale it and then exhale it into the face of a demon. You want a scorpion instead of a baby. That's what you want. I think I do. I want a pet scorpion.

What I should do is wrap up my little baby scorpion and like kiss his head and be like, Oh, Robert, time for bed. You rest here in this little cot. I sure hope no demons come to take you away. And I wrap him up real tight. You can't even see that it's a scorpion. Granted, it looks a little weird because there's a spike coming out the bottom. But you still put him down in the bed.

Stabbing the shit out of your hands as you put him down. Oh, yeah. Off to sleep, little Robert. And then that night, when the poltergeist comes to take your baby away, Scorpion! The scorpion jumps out into his face. I still think my idea is better because you are assuming that an animal can affect a ghost in any way. You're going to need to kill that scorpion.

Get a scorpion from a local scorpion hut. I get that this is becoming convoluted. I haven't thought of the whole plan. This is the two paranormal investigators sitting down, sitting down, Marianne and Mark. Like, you really only have two options, and we heavily suggest you go with plan scorpion. Plan scorpion? You know, the reality of that plan would be me buying the scorpion taking it to the room it kills me within five seconds and i have to fight the ghost the poltergeist shows up at 2am

and it's just me sitting in a crib yeah yeah laugh it up buddy yeah the scorpion got me yeah all right yeah yeah sure the ghost is also like now you're in my dimension. I can beat the fuck out of you myself. Of course, the scorpion. Scorpion. Of course, the poltergeist. Messing with the baby was the last straw. Of course. The final straw.

After months and months of torment and scorpion after scorpion thrown at the problem, they decide to move away and start again in a new home. Apparently, that was all they ever and start again in a new home. Apparently, that was all they ever had to do. Nothing followed them. They were finally left alone. So what about Hallowell and Ritson? Well, the conclusion was, from all of their research, that they agreed that the poltergeist was generating fear as a source of energy. Interesting. Kind of Monsters, Inc. style. of energy. Interesting. Kind of Monsters, Inc. style. Exactly. It was spooking the family as a way to kind of feed from that fear. We know that ghosts don't eat, but maybe that is a way that they do consume energy. Hallowell and Ritson do claim to have camera footage of the hauntings,

but even with extensive search online, myself or our researcher, Amy, couldn't find any footage on the Internet. Okay. All right. All right. So they took the time out of their day to upload the photo of the f***ing bottle and they couldn't upload the video of the ghost? All right. I regret showing you the bottle because, as I said, I don't even know if that is the actual bottle. The footage of the ghost that would, by the way, have made them multimillionaires

if they had successfully proven the existence of ghosts. It's true, but they did post the picture of the magnetic whiteboard, the scribblings

on the whiteboard. So let's not say there wasn't any evidence because we did get some evidence today. Okay. Well, that's, that's the end.

That's it? That's the whole story. They moved away. The hauntings died down. Howell and Ritson wrote two books on the subject, but didn't release the video footage. So you have to know. You get mad anytime someone directly profits off a paranormal experience. And you're telling me that these paranormal investigators investigated it,

have no proof, and got two book deals out of this. They have no public proof. They said that they have video footage. I believe it is out there somewhere, but I cannot...

You believe it's out there? They are taking you for a ride, bud. You've gone mad. You've gone mad. You've gone mad for investigating this one for too long. Your critical thinking skills are shot. Well, look, there's layers to this thing, you know. There's the messages on the whiteboard. There's the text.

We have to stop talking about the messages on the whiteboard. The three-year-old did it. It was in scribbly, childish handwriting. I don't know what to tell you, man. It was asking for chalky milk. It was done by a baby. Look, I'm not here to sway you either way today. I'm just here to tell a story about a paranormal haunting,

and that's what I did, all right? And I think I did a pretty damn good job about it. Hey, I don't disagree. As I said, I'm coming at this as a skeptic, yet a hopeful believer. You can't be both. You cannot be both. You've never said that before about a case. You're clearly trying to protect yourself so that if we do a yes or a no, you still look like you're right.

I'm presenting this case as a 100% spiritual believer and yet a stone cold critic who denies the existence of anything paranormal. You are... I don't believe in wishes. I don't believe in birthday

wishes. That's how f***ing scientific i am and yet i do believe that the spirits of the dead walk among us you're so confused and you're sitting on the fence because you know what's coming hey i don't have a problem with this story it's been a great story a great case that's been well presented. Thank you. I really felt like I was there. It did have hints of other stories that we have labored over as well, whether that be the Enfield haunting or other such poltergeists, maybe a little sprinkle of corny as well. Yeah.

And yet I'm just getting hung up on the lack of evidence. Now, we've been over this before, Rory. We could be accused of having a bias against ghost stories, against poltergeist stories, things like this. But Jesus, can you blame us? There's never a shred of physical evidence. Even with these wild claims where someone was... I mean, if you know that this dude is getting slashed in the night,

have a camera by your bedside if you know that this dude is getting slashed in the night, have a camera by your bedside. You know? It's 2005. There were video cameras available then. You could have filmed all of this on a camcorder. I don't know why, if all of these crazy things were happening, that there isn't more concrete evidence of this haunting. There's no excuse, really. It's different if we're talking about a f*** a straw hut getting terrorized in the 1800s

sure you yeah you guys don't have any pictures or videos that's excusable you could hand me a piece of bark with an image of the ghost carved into it with a sharp rock and i would say you did a pretty good job actually to even give me the tools yeah yeah so for these guys to not have anything more concrete, it is quite damning, isn't it? It's tricky too with these paranormal investigators

and I don't mean to speak ill of our own profession, but, you know, these people are not, they're not independent adjudicators. Yeah. They have a highly

vested interest in this thing being considered a real paranormal case because this is their livelihood. They're writing books about it. They're telling everyone that this thing really happened. I can't say that none of this really happened, but I can say for sure that a poltergeist was responsible for everything that went on. Yeah. I mean, this is ultimately where we get to at the end of every episode. All we can do is come down on our own conclusions based on the information that we have in today's episode.

So Kit, with that in mind, what is your decision on the South Shields poltergeist? Truly paranormal or not? Not. I'm going to agree with you today, brother. I think it's a great story. I'd love to do more research into people receiving text messages from ghosts. Love that. That could be a whole episode where we investigate multiple cases.

But I think today, this story, even though it's great and does have some surprising turns that we haven't seen in other hauntings, There's just not enough evidence for today's case. And even though I'm a believer to the highest degree, I've seen every kind of disembodied entity known to man. I am a materialist scientist skeptic and I don't believe in anything. I don't believe in myself. I don't believe in Christmas, Santa Claus, or love. So thank you for listening to this week's episode. If you disagree with us or you have a case that you want us to investigate, whether it's one that you have read about online or one you've experienced yourself, email that in to thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com.

Thank you to Cami Thoman for editing this week's podcast and Amy Grisdale for researching could we kind of speed through this last bit because I don't mean to beat

a dead horse but I I I need a bath I didn't want to address it on the podcast but I'm painfully aware

of how badly you need a bath so you don't need to tell me that's just a little code that only me and Rory understand. It's the first time I've heard about the code and it's not that

encrypted is it? I need bath time because. Don't wink at me while you say it either because you're just saying what you need and winking and everyone can hear it and no one can see the wink. All I'm saying is I'm out of diapers. None of this is code. None of this is code. I know exactly what this means.

Everyone knows what this means. And it's, I'm trying to save you here, but this is, So you get it. So let's stop talking about it because it's deeply uncomfortable and I need to,

Don't say anything else. Sure. Like, stop judging me. Like, yes, I'll talk to an IBS doctor after this or whatever

you said it was. Yeah. Whatever. Okay. That seems like a good idea so let's just just I'm trying to round round up the podcast let's do it so let's

just speed through because so it's so uncomfortable if you enjoy so deeply uncomfortable stop talking man just sit just sit there you don't need to verbalize

sorry yeah I'll just let you talk because vocalize every every if you did enjoy this week's episode, please check out patreon.com. This is rough. This is rough.

Do you want to leave? Do you want to leave the room? I insist that you do. I think... Let me do the plug. I'm just saying, code between me and you, wink, I don't think I can stand up.

You're not saying codes. You're just saying what is happening and then winking. I just shit myself. All right, not code. Thank you for listening to this week's episode. Go to patreon.com. A bunch of extra bonus episodes, amazing things, best way to support the show. Check it out.

It's very funny. Kit is much more restrained physically and hygienically on those episodes. Check it out. You're going to love them. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. And as always, we will be back next week. Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. With a brand.

Was that necessary? Come on, man. Was that necessary? I was literally saying the final sentence and you interrupted me. I don't think I can keep it any longer, bud. It's out. It's out, friend. We both know it.

Can we cut this? All right. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. Bye.