This Paranormal Life - #305 NOT Deer - The Disturbing Cryptid of Appalachia

Episode Date: March 7, 2023

Camping is an inherently paranormal experience: sleeping in the wilderness, navigating the pitch black of night, pooping without access to a toilet let alone a bidet. But your camping experience could be ten times more paranormal if you are unlucky enough to encounter a Not Deer. Not Deer are a disturbing creature native to Appalachia, which look just like a deer but behave in a horrible unnatural way which cement it's status as a paranormal cryptid. Time for Rory and Kit to pack their tents and TP, and investigate.This Paranormal Life is sponsored by BetterHelp.Go to betterhelp.com/paranormallife to get started today using code "paranormallife".Reddit post from today's episodeSupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.comResearch by Amy GrisdaleEdited by Louis Blatherwick Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens during the witching hour? Can I eat batteries instead of sleeping? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life! Hello! Yo! And welcome back to This Paranormal Life.

This is the weekly comedy podcast where every Tuesday two paranormal investigators get to the bottom of a brand new case and decide by the end of the episode whether it's truly paranormal or not. The investigators in question, me, Kit, this guy, Rory. How are you doing today? Good. To answer one of the questions you asked at the start of the podcast, can you eat batteries instead of sleep? No, you cannot. I put this little hypothesis to the test and actually, after eating a few batteries, I slept for quite a while. Oh, so it does work?

No, the batteries made me sleep. Sleep is the wrong word. Coma is more applicable, I think, in this situation. But I was out cold for about four weeks. Oh, my God. Yeah. Did you at least feel recharged on the other side of it? Yeah, but I think that was more the IV drip and the medical procedures that

removed the battery from my stomach. So it was less the energy from the battery. The doctors did have to remove a couple things to keep your body going. So you're on a lot of drugs. Glad we could clear one of those up so early in the podcast. Don't eat batteries. Yeah, it shouldn't have to be said, I don't think, but just in case. Because I don't remember if I ever tried that as a kid, but that was a thing, right? It was like

licking batteries. Was it? You know, you try and just connect the positive and the... I think the nine volt was the only one you could really do that on because of course on a AA or a AAA, the positive and the negative terminals are on the other side, so it's kind of hard to, like, I guess if you did just swallow it, you could connect them. But a 9V, you could just straight up lick that bad boy, and I think the idea was get a little shock. What would happen if you licked the positive end of a battery and I licked the negative end?

With the electricity? Is that what love is? This is getting too hot for TV. That's all I know. What if we made out with the Energizer bunny? I am going to quickly Google whether that works or not. Okay. Okay. That's fair. It says here it actually doesn't, and it specifically references a case from Northern Ireland in 1999, where a boy ate a battery. It's you. It's a picture of you. If you've ever wondered why Rory sometimes seems

a little bit kind of childlike wonderment of the world around him, he's been in a coma since he was six years old until he was 25. So he's really, he went straight from nursery and P1 in school to kind of like having to make it as a man in this world. I basically got Thanos snapped out of existence for four years and came back and everyone

had grown up and I'm just a boy with a double A battery for a heart. Apparently it does work. Apparently you can test whether a battery is charged or not. And it just feels like a little mini shock. Damn, that's kind of cool. I must have blacked out because I don't remember how that feels. I must have licked a pretty big battery, I guess. But no, we're not here on This Paranormal Life to talk about the dangerous things that children get up to at that age. That was only

one of very many. We are instead here to talk about something equally dangerous, but in the world of the paranormal. What's the most dangerous thing you've ever eaten? Whenever I was a kid, the first time I had to take antibiotics, I didn't know how they worked. And I thought, well, they come in a little plastic case, right? And I thought, that's just the casing. You must have to, surely you don't eat the plastic. So I popped that sucker open and exploded all the, they're powdery inside there. More powder than you could possibly imagine fits inside such a tiny capsule.

I spent probably two to three hours cleaning my mouth out after that. Did it fizz up? No, it actually didn't fizz up. It was just like chalk. It was like just cake to the inside of my mouth. It couldn't breathe. That's nasty, man.

Not so dangerous, but definitely a testament to my low IQ points. What about you? I swallowed a marble once. That's pretty bad. As a child, yeah. Not necessarily food, but yeah, it didn't do me good. That's for sure. But no, Rory, we're here to talk about something a bit more paranormal. Sometimes in this paranormal life, we like to talk about cases which are a bit more current than the others, a bit more at home,

on the internet. And that's exactly what today's case is like. Love it. Which we're going to get right into after some quick words from today's sponsors. Today's tale unfolds in Appalachia, a region of the United States that stretches from the bottom of New York State to the very edge of Alabama. We're starting in Waynesboro, Virginia in 2020. Wow, only three years ago. Reddit user ampersand underscore dot sis has been living on

the outskirts of town for five years. Let's f***ing go. You know a story is going to be raw or racist when we start at Reddit. And this motherf*** motherfucker lives on the outskirts of a town in Virginia. It's the racist one. It's the racist story. All right, move on. You're like, we don't know which one. It could be the racist one. It could be a real paranormal case.

Anyway, Chuck Fiddle lives on a swamp in the middle of Mississippi. No, you're absolutely right, Rory. We can't jump to any kind of conclusions about this person's character. We have to wait for the story to tell us what they're like. He was a keen motorcyclist. Okay, hey, that's fine. That's cool.

Motorbikes are cool. And took every opportunity to take his bike out on glorious tree-lined trails that cut through the vast parks around the city. He's an explorer. All right, I'm back on board. He listens to country music. Okay, fine, still.

Some country music's pretty good. And his favorite video game is Pokemon. All right. Okay, we're in the clear. Yeah. No, I made up some of these facts. We don't know that much about him. It has actually been a little while

since we've turned to Reddit for the beginning of a story, hasn't it? Now, if anyone's curious, this original post was quite long, so I'm going to paraphrase it a little bit. But we can drop the link to the post if you are curious in the description of the podcast. Ampersand writes, One night I was having a hard time settling in for bed, so I decided to start up the bike and ride up to the skyline lookout, only about a mile inside the park. It was about 11pm when I got up there, and pitch black. I killed the bike and got immediately uncomfortable.

I'm not a guy that gets spooked in the dark. Truthfully, I prefer the dark in most situations. A bit weird, but fine. For example, one, you can see people before they see you. Not true. Two, you are practically invisible unless someone else is looking for you. Super weird.

And three, I find the natural privacy comforting. He's a weirdo. Definitely, this is getting strange. Who is this f***ing Batman? He felt so uncomfortable in bed and couldn't get to sleep that he drove to the middle of nowhere on his motorbike at night and stood in the middle of a forest so that, quote, no one could see him. What is he doing in the daylight that makes him so ashamed he has to hide in the shadows?

I'm getting some red flags here, but, but proceed. It didn't feel comforting up there though. It was a thick, oppressive dark, worse than anything I experienced outside of a cave and worse than any moonless night on the Appalachian trail. I immediately got freaked out big time. There's nothing up here besides wildlife. I tried to reassure myself internally. I had my.44 Magnum revolver tucked in my holster, so I knew I definitely outmatched anything that could be up here.

Who isn't sleepy enough so they go for a little nighttime ride and brings a gun? On their motorbike. Brings a revolver. Rides into the darkness. Just in case. But hey, I'm not going to get too judgy too early on. This guy might know something that we don't. So I sat in the dark, leaning against the bike for a while and looking at the few lights I could see in the valley below.

I managed about 10 minutes before I physically felt the hair raise on the back of my neck. You know, I only did 27 months in Iraq, but I remembered that precise feeling." This is a lot. This guy's, just to be clear, this guy's a veteran. A soldier, yeah. Someone was watching me. Something bad was coming. It was the same sensation I would get before shooting started somewhere nearby.

I'm no psychic, but it's a common thing among vets with any time under their belt. Ask them about it. You can feel hateful eyes on you. I started thinking about messed-out dudes creeping the Appalachian Trail. Bears and the like. Go back to bed!

Go back to bed! If you couldn't sleep so you took your gun and your motorbike into the mountains and you're sweating bullets firing wildly into the darkness

of the night. Go back to bed! It sounds like you're having a terrible time up here. It's like Kurt Locker. He just, he needs the adrenaline. The thrill, yeah. Good lord.

After all, this trail is no stranger to random violence. Strange place to go. Strange place to go if you can't sleep. I sat in the dark for another 10 minutes or so, but my anxiety was only getting worse and worse. So I decided to head on home. Smart, finally. Hopping onto my Suzuki, I started it up and rode off towards the gate. Now, anyone who lives in the country and rides a bike knows that at night, you take it slow and keep an eye out

for deer and wildlife. Hell yeah. Hey, look, you're talking to the proud owner of a Harley Davidson. Sorry. Huh? So I know a little thing or two about motorbikes. I've never seen. Do you have a Harley Davidson? I do have a Harley Davidson. It is not in this country. It is over in America, but it's a beautiful. So to be clear, your girlfriend goes to a different school. So otherwise we'd know her. It's a beautiful Harley Davidson.

I can't ride it because I don't know how to ride a bike, but I do own one. And I think that's kind of like, that's the coolest part about having a bike is having it. Okay. So this is like Joey Tribbiani and friends when he gets the Porsche jacket. Oh, yeah. The jacket's good enough. It's all about the look. Because as long as the girls think you have the Porsche or in your case, the Harley.

The Harley shirt, the bandana, the tats. Don't have those either. But, you know, I'm thinking about getting one like a seahorse or like a little heart or something on my ankle. What does a seahorse have to do with anything? You're not a sailor. But it just means that I'm badass and I have a bike and I've got a leather jacket. You've got a hog. And I get to enjoy all of that without the frankly terrifying thought of even setting foot on a motorbike. Right. Because it is coming back to me now,

a bit of this story about the bike. You've had it for a while. I haven't seen quite yet any steps you've taken towards actually learning how to ride a bike. Is that a work in progress? Well, I can ride a bicycle. Yeah, sure, but no, a motorbike, because you have to do a test.

Have you actually tried to even bring it back to the UK? Really hard, really hard. You've got to ship it, and you have to... Have you actually tried to even bring it back to the UK or... Really hard, really hard to kind of... You've got to ship it and it's been sitting there for a while. You could sell it and buy one here. My baby? Sell my girl? Hell no, I'm not going to sell my girl. Just a quick question. Have you ever...

Have you ever rode it? Ever? I sat on it once while it was stationary in a car park. And I actually took some pretty cool pictures for the Tinder account. So yeah, I've ridden the bitch. And I actually took some pretty cool pictures for the Tinder account. So yeah, I've ridden the bitch. And then the kickstand fell over. The bike fell on top of me.

On my windpipe. And I went, help, help! Someone get it off me! Get this piece of crap off me! So it was a work in progress, you know, me getting up and about on the Harley.

But hey, you know, all I'm saying is I understand. You got to take it easy on those country roads. I think I've heard. Let's leave it there. He's riding out of this park on the way home. It was then that I saw it. It was almost a deer, but not exactly. It was like a deer that someone who had never seen a deer drew. It stood on the left side of the road, and I saw the eyes long before my headlight showed it fully. It was big, bigger than any normal animal.

Its legs seemed too long in proportion to the body, and it was barrel-chested. It looked malformed. I didn't want to get near it at all. Stopping and putting my feet down about 30 feet away from it, I tried to frighten it away. I flashed my beams. Nothing. I revved the engine. Nothing. I honked the horn. Nada. Resting the bike on the kickstand, I left it idling and hopped off. I yelled at the thing and it still didn't budge. I bent down to grab something to toss at this thing to spook it away. As soon as I did, it rose up in its hind legs. I froze, but not before putting my hand on my gun.

It took two jerky, unnatural steps towards the middle of the road on two legs and froze again, staring directly at me. It suddenly shook its head wildly like a dog with a toy and then hopped away on two legs several times until it disappeared into the darkness on the side of the road. I stepped back to the bike, kicked up the kickstand and turned around, where I could see a sheer drop off the side of the road. I looked over it, and the f***ing thing's head was just peeking over the edge, still looking at me. I cracked the throttle and beat the hell out of there. I never went back up on Skyline Drive at night alone after that. One time was enough. What an incredibly creepy story, right?

Yeah, pretty weird. I don't necessarily know what this thing is. Took a few kind of twists there. First, it was just a deer. Then he said it looked nothing like a deer. Then it stood up on two legs. Couldn't have been less like a deer. he said it looked nothing like a deer then it stood up on two legs couldn't have been less like a deer don't know why i said deer then it hopped away like a bunny rabbit didn't go too far though and just kept watching him from the shadows yeah i think

the worst bit is he said it um looked mangled then took unnatural zombie-like steps into the middle of the road, still on two legs, before then shaking its head uncontrollably and then hopping away. Deers are kind of, I don't know, I think they're kind of creepy animals to begin with. With the horns, with those creepy horns that are like barren tree branches. If you saw one of those at night in the darkness,

that would freak you the f*** out. I guess at the beginning of this, he didn't know it was weird yet. He thought it was just a deer. Right. Probably. We don't see a lot of deer here in the UK either. They're not very commonplace. No. I don't even know if there are deer in Northern Ireland. I'm sure there are somewhere. But one of those will catch you off guard for sure. I peed on a deer once. What? By accident. Is it no shit?

In the forest. And it freaked the fuck out of me. I peed near the deer, I should say. I didn't pee on it necessarily, but it leapt out like it was a wild Pokemon encounter and scared the... I was going to say it made me pee myself, but I was already doing that.

It was an empty tank. It could have fucked you up. Hell yeah. And this was just a regular deer. Not one of these dudes doing the Harlem shake in the darkness. That's the thing. You know, deer, they're, you know, sure, bambi, cute. Oh, lovely, lovely little deer.

Oh, little baby. They have the hind legs of Conor McGregor. You take a kick to the head from one of those things, it's a wrap. It's over. It's Rory go night-night after having two AA batteries. We had to kill his mother.

She was getting too strong. What they didn't tell you in the movie is she took out three civilians before they managed to take her down. But you're right. They are quite creepy.

I think he didn't know what it was to begin with. He thought it was an animal for a certain amount of time. It was even just trying to scare it away. As he said, he didn't want to try and drive off and then it runs in front of the bike or something. Yeah. And then he realized he was into something quite over his head.

Even as an Iraq veteran with 27 months under his belt and a.44 Magnum in his holster, he did not feel prepared to deal with this thing. You don't see that every day, let me tell you. Of course, Rory, as a Harley man yourself, this is not the kind of problem you would be encountering because this guy, I don't know much about bikes, but I'm going to imagine that this Suzuki, that's going to be a problem if you hit a deer oh yeah but the harley is just going to cut right through that deer like butter i don't think i don't think you need to stop at all absolutely not the roadster the touring roadster that thing is just going to mow it down right it'll be just

like a speed bump to me yeah but worryingly this is not a standalone story this one from ampersand underscore dot says it's not a unique case thousands of reports of similar creatures have come in from the appalachian region for decades now they have a name but it's not really a proper name as such they're called not deer right a creature that looks like deer but it's not definitely don't get it confused with a deer. Like one, but not one. Just give it a real name, I'd say. Call it a ringle-doo.

Just make something up, you know? Right. That's what a lot of people have done with cryptids, the first person that saw it. Or call it the twisty boy of wherever we are. Something park, you know? Just give it a name. Twisty boy. A name of it based on its location. I Park, you know? Just give it a name. Toasty boy.

A name of it based on its location. I see what you're saying. Rory is clearly available for freelance cryptid naming services. If needs be, yeah. We could just quickly show off some of those skills that you have for naming cryptids.

You've already coined so many over the years. Yeah. So we could just do a little rapid fire just to show off those creative juices. I'm going to need three brand new cryptid names. I'm going to give you a prompt for each one. Okay. Number one.

Yeah. A frog with the head of a f***ing quarterback. A zonk. That's his name, the zonk. The zonk of Connecticut specifically, if that's where he's located. Oh, you know that son of a bitch that's coming out of Connecticut. if that's where he's located. Oh, you know that son of a bitch that's coming out of Connecticut.

Two, it looks like a bass guitar, but it makes the sound of crying children. Oh, the blimby. And number three, a cloud that walks. The nimble-do? He's still got it. There you go. He's still got it.

Oh, man. I was doubting you there for a second, but he doesn't miss. He truly doesn't miss. So just at Rory Has Powers if you need him to name a cryptid. Just send him a photo of anything you see not in the wilderness. He'll name it. A lot of you guys have been saying, hey, can you name this cryptid?

Picture's attached, and it's a picture of your penis. The joke's over, guys. I've seen the penises. And yeah, sometimes I give them a little quirky name like Wildo or Steven. But I've seen enough penises. And yeah, sometimes I give them a little quirky name, like Wildo or Steven. But I've seen enough penises now. That's the end of the joke, all right? Right. At least throw some boobs in there if you're going to send me nudes.

Okay, well, we're not soliciting anything. We're not soliciting anything. At least send me a couple of wombas if you're going to send me penises. So I appreciate that this is a bit of a strange cryptid to have to explain to the people at home, but we're gonna do our best here. This is what we're dealing with today. Now, not deer are

said to have, uh, they're shaped weird. That's the number one thing. Yeah, we got that, brother. The neck is too long. Too long. And the legs are like tall, gangly, moose legs. That's the measurement. How long's the neck? too long. Too long. And the legs are like tall, gangly moose legs. That's the measurement. How long's the neck?

Too long. What do you mean? For what? A deer, I guess. The head might be misshapen, and they move in unnatural ways, staggering and disjointed. Many say that their legs don't bend in the right places.

Think of generally how a zombie walks. Okay. A knot deer might be making a clicking sound when it comes into contact with you. Some are sighted in a zombie-like state, drooling and staring into space. Others are hyper-aggressive and will attack unprovoked. Damn, I don't even know

what noise a regular deer makes. So I'd be kind of out of the loop on this one. Should we find out? I guess so. What is it going to be? Have you had to think of what a deer makes? Ha! I'm thinking something like that.

Ha! That's what a normal deer sounds like? Check that mother f***er's neck. Because there's no way a normal deer sounds like that. That's terrifying. Holy shit. Well now we know. So imagine if a not deer is worse than that. That's insane. I'm glad I saw that. Otherwise, I'd be shooting a lot of normal deer.

It is worth noting that other animals don't seem to notice or mind not deer. It's only humans who have a problem with them. Okay. Which could be bad because it kind of seems like they have a problem with them. Okay. Which could be bad because it kind of seems like they have a problem with us. Would you like, at this point in our investigation, to see at least an artist's interpretation of what we're dealing with here? Yeah. Go on.

Let's see it. A little bit worried here. Feast your eyes. Whoa, shit. Jesus, that's just a dude. Huh? That's just like a dude. That's like a whoa. Sorry. I'm getting into my story This is like a personal

This is like just like a naked man. No This is like some this is for a different thing. This is for like a different thing that I was doing So it's in a folder on your desk. Yeah. Yeah, I know but it's like I'm researching a thing So it wasn't a naked man. It wasn't a naked man. It wasn't a naked man. Look, I'll show you it again. It's got antlers, doesn't it? Yeah, but it is a dude.

It is a man. Yeah, it is. It's got antlers. Is there another picture? He does have abs. You've shown me the same one three times now. I understand. This isn't the evidence.

I showed you the wrong image. Yeah, I know. Show me the right one Three times now I understand It's not something Sorry this isn't the evidence I showed you the wrong image Yeah I know Show me the right one Stop turning your computer around And it's the same image Like whatever you want to do And investigate In your free time It's fine with me

There's no judgement here Alright here's a different one Okay If it's the same If this is the same guy Or if this is If it's the same guy In a different pose

I don't want to see it So change it now Before you turn your laptop around Imagine you're driving Your Harley at night and you see this. It's the same guy. It's the same guy.

It's the same guy from the folder. Oh, for God's sake. You loaded up the wrong one again. Hold on. Okay. Sorry, it's just like, it's just I got like 15 tabs open

because I was like cross-examining it, using different apps. Okay, hold on. All right. Incognito mode. What if he saw this? Okay, that is, what the f what the is this zoomed in on a picture uh no actually is he wearing a suit and tie

now you mention it all right that one's more just not accurate but creepy okay i'm gonna finally show you uh maybe a bit more what we're actually dealing with okay i mean i've got a pretty clear picture in my head what about this yeah that's kind of what i'm thinking oh that is unnerving uh imagine a deer tiptoeing in the house at 3 a.m down to the refrigerator to eat a bag of baby bells yeah and try not to let anyone know it's there but it also has like a white mask on uh and it looks kind of contorted like it's been stretched out all its bones were broken and then it was slushed back together again yeah it's definitely got a vibe of like it died and then something brought it back to life yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like possessed almost don't like that don't like that at all yeah it looks like it's hanging on puppet strings it's really really nasty. It's really nasty. And that's it. That is kind of the idea of

what they look like. Cryptid Wiki describes Not Deer as having the antlered head of a great stag, a human torso, and legs described as similar to either those of a man or a deer. Okay, that's not helpful. That's kind of just the, frankly, sexy one I showed Rory. Yeah. First of all, the legend seems to have originated in North Carolina, actually, but it's widely reported across the southern Appalachian mountain area and beyond. These tales have been passed down through oral folklore by small groups of people for a long time,

but it's kind of come to life on the internet, namely Reddit, TikTok, and forums like 4chan. Listen, those platforms are where the paranormal live nowadays. They're the equivalent of when you look into a case set in the 1800s and it was the old newspapers or legends and stories passed down from one to another. That's what Reddit is now. It's just a way to do that on the internet, to pass these stories to each other. We've said before that the pillars on the pyramid of truth are a man's word, hearsay, and rumor. But you could argue that the pillars of truth on the internet are Reddit, TikTok, and 4chan. I wouldn't go that far. I don't know if I'd go that far.

But it is cool that there's so much online because we now, today in 2023, get to hear a bunch of different, shorter experiences online. Like, for example, someone wrote about their own experience with not deer. I was out at my grandparents' house hiking and walking around the woods when a few yards ahead of me, I see a doe. I stop because I don't want to spook her. However, she turns and looks me in the eyes. I notice that all of her knees are bent backwards. Any direction that a deer knee is supposed to go, her knees don't. End of story.

Or another person says, I was wandering in the woods. I'm starting to see a theme here, probably two-thirds of a mile from my house when I heard a bush moving. I turned to look, and it was a deer. Or so I thought. It was 30 feet away from me, staring,

breathing hard, and making a low, rumbling sound. Yeah, don't associate deers with breathing hard. They're usually pretty elegant and athletic. Unless there's a helicopter nearby about to take off, a deer should also not be rumbling, low rumbling. If your deer is rumbling, breathing heavy,

or swearing under its breath, those are kind of indicators that you're not dealing with a regular deer. Also smoking, fiddling with a butterfly knife. All of these are just real signs. Suddenly this thing's eyes blanked out and it took a couple of jerking steps forward. That'll do it. Moving really strangely. I flinched and then it ran off to the side. It was deeply unsettling in a way I can't explain. And I know for sure that that thing was not quite a deer.

I sprinted all the way home. What do you think? We've now had a few different sightings. These similarities make this, let's face it, cryptid seem more believable. All of these stories are so insane that these people are like, yeah, I can't quite explain it. It just wasn't a deer. It was hovering six feet in the air. Its head was on fire and it spoke Latin. Just something about it made me think this wasn't a regular deer. It's a demon. You're looking at a forest demon.

It's so far beyond a deer now. It's insane that they're still trying to hang on to that, that it's like, it's just some kind of f***ed up deer. You met the devil in the woods. You met the devil and he took over the soul and body of a living creature and contorted it beyond belief. Yeah, they're fully underselling just about what's happening here. This is like a couple going to like

a pregnancy ultrasound scan and the doctor being like, so good news. Everything looks healthy. Everything looks great. We are on track for our due date in a few months time. I will say this baby is low key. its vibe has shifted though and then they show you

the scans it's a little dragon it's a little demon dragon it's got wings it's got fangs it's like you need to be very very clear about everything you're seeing because it's not right not normal the doctor isn't going to be like yeah you're kind of having like a not baby it's like what does that mean it's like it's you know it's there it's in, you're kind of having like a not baby. It's like, what does that mean? It's like, you know, it's there. It's in you. We're doing ultrasound. It's not a baby, but you are having something.

It's like a not baby. So it's not a baby. It's something very different. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, God, no. What's different? Oh, it's got everything. Arms, legs, fingers, toes.

It's got a little baby head. It's probably going to be like goo-goo-ga-ga when it comes out. But between you and me, this thing could be less like a baby. Could not be less like a baby. It's got everything a baby's got. Head, shoulders, knees, toes, hooves, wings, horns. Whoa! Doctor, you snuck a couple ones in there at the end.

No, I didn't. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I said everything. The doctor's doing this guy. I'm like, does your husband have glowing red eyes? The baby's got it from somewhere. The baby must have got it from somewhere. He's like putting the ultrasound up on the wall.

So there he is, healthy baby. Doctor, can you move your hand? Ah! You're blocking part of the picture. No, no, no. This is it. This is all there is. You're having a not baby.

I think that is the rough plot to The Exorcist. A not baby. A not baby. Well, Rory, I think the one thing that is unique about this case is how much it comes so close to being just a regular everyday life, seeing a deer, as you say, a very normal thing.

Okay, maybe not exactly here where we are, but many parts of the world. Yeah. Seeing a deer, no big deal. And that's why people get lulled into this false sense of security and part of why people have latched onto it online. So TikTok is now full of people posting videos of animal encounters and discussing whether they saw a not deer. Okay, okay.

So I thought as paranormal investigators, we can help them by telling them whether their video is paranormal or not. I'm into this. So we're going to play a little game of deer or not deer. Hey, this is great. This is a great idea. I'm going to show you a video and Rory, you decide whether that's a regular boring deer or a paranormal not deer. Hey, this is great. This is a great idea. I'm going to show you a video and Rory, you decide whether that's a regular boring deer or a paranormal not deer. All right.

Want to just reiterate and highlight the fact that based on the testimonies we've heard so far, it should be pretty easy to identify which one is a deer and which one is not a deer. Okay. Video number one. All right. This video is in a graveyard and there's a deer kind of, I guess, looking a bit shifty. He's looking right at the camera, almost like he's a bit self-aware. It's a deer. Normal deer legs, deer body, deer head. That is a deer. Is it though? Because it does something pretty weird. What? Look closer at his body.

Oh, it just gets longer? Yeah, it gets longer. Yeah, I'd say it gets longer. A little too long if you catch my drift. Look, that wasn't a thing. That wasn't a thing that the non-deer do. I'm pretty sure regular deers can do that. Listen, it didn't get longer like a fucking transformer.

It just stretched out its body an inch longer than it was before. That's a deer. All right. So Rory's chocolate. The first one up to a deer. No. All right. Deer number two.

I mean, video number two. This is someone recording a video of them inside the car and in front of the headlights is a deer. Literally a deer in the headlights. Kind of a low key weird thing on it, though. What the headlights is a deer. Literally a deer in the headlights. Kind of a low-key weird thing on it, though. Yeah, what the f*** is that? I don't know. Is that a goatee or something? It's a short video,

but we still have to decide and help these TikTokers out. What do you think for that one? That's a deer. Okay. That's a deer. No reason, no movement, or anything to believe otherwise.

All right, we're watching the next video now. Yo, what the f***? That one is... That one freaks me out a bit. Damn, I don't really know what to describe what's going on here. Oh, that's just sad. That just I don't really know what to describe what's going on here. Oh, that's just sad. That just looks like a really injured deer. That kind of makes me sad. We did say that the not deer looks like it's had all of its bones broken and put back together.

And I think that's kind of what we just saw. Well, we found it. We found it. Oh, that's grim. Hey, it could be a cryptid, Rory. Don't worry. Don't feel sorry. He was moving pretty fast, though. I'll give him that. Yeah. Fair play. Ladies and gentlemen, that deer's head was facing the wrong way.

Yeah. I could definitely see how someone confused that for a not deer, but I think you're chalking it up to a deer. An injured deer, yeah. I mean, either way, it looked like that deer should be shot. It would either be doing a kind thing to an innocent animal or the right thing to a bad animal wait attaboy jump over whoa what was that all right that deer is just drunk straight up we're watching a video of um sure, it does look a lot like a deer,

stumbling and tripping over the side of a motorway. Yeah, I don't know. What in the video would make you think that is a not deer? I don't know. It's erratic movements. It's strange, unhealthy gait. God, it's so inhuman and disturbing. It's just a deer tripping over a fence, guys.

I don't know what to say. The not deer were supposed to walk on two feet. Well, the good news is for our TikTok friends who have been feverishly demanding help from paranormal investigators like us, that Rory has been pretty easily, with these four videos, been able to clear up whether it's a deer or a not deer.

Listen, I've seen some paranormal evidence that aged me 15 years in a second. All right? So it takes some pretty intense paranormal evidence these days to make an impact on me. I'm so faded and blunt that it basically got to show me an interview with E.T. himself to even move the needle these days. And even then, I've seen enough interviews with E.T. Rory is so jaded he puts soy sauce on vanilla ice cream just to feel something.

Hell yeah. So I think watching those TikToks might be a good segue into one of the possible explanations for what's going on here, which is that not deer are sick deer. Right, right. Which is certainly a possibility. And that's why the advice is to very much stay away from these things

if you do see them out in the wild. But I think we would be remiss if we didn't get into the fact that a lot of these descriptions of not deer actually line up pretty nicely with some other cryptids we've covered on TPL before. Because, of course, in Native American culture, they talk about animals quite like this. And

there may be a connection here to, say, skinwalkers or the wendigo. Skinwalkers, researcher Amy has reminded me here, we actually gave a double yes. Damn, did we? And apparently, double bit of trivia, it was researcher Amy's first case. Wow, that's crazy. She knocked her out of the park, clearly. Is it deer or mooses, mice, who shed the skin on their antlers? Because I'm not sure if you knew about this or knew that it even happened, but I only found out about this a few years ago.

And if you had shown me pictures and videos of that, I would have said that that is straight up paranormal. I didn't realize it was a thing that normal animals did, but it's terrifying looking. Yeah. Apparently deer do shed them for sure. Oh, I see what you're talking about. This thing. Bro, look at that. that's an a24 horror movie coming out later this year i think it looks like a normal deer but so i thought antlers were like bone like uh fucking horns basically just like they're like teeth or something yeah i don't know what that material is but essentially it looks like from the pictures It looks like skin under there The skin can basically burst off And you have like blood red fresh horns

With like loose skin dripping off of them It's something from hell It's unbelievable looking isn't it Terrifying If I saw that in the woods I'd freak out Which is a great point I mean there is a world If you want to be kind of cynical about it

There's a world where all of these creatures Like skinwalkers, wendigo, and potentially not deer, that they are getting confused with maybe some kind of natural phenomenon. I mean, as you say, something like that attacking you in the middle of the night, you'd think that was a paranormal beast. Terrible. terrible. That being said, in our research, it doesn't particularly look like the Native American community are rushing to claim the not deer as part of that heritage. I think they're kind of cool with just believing in the things they already believe in. But it is a pretty interesting parallel, which leaves us at the end of this investigation with a frustrating place that we've been all too many times in this paranormal life, Rory, which is, I've told you all about the not dear. We've

gone through multiple witness testimonies of what's happened to people. And we've even looked at a ton of claims on TikTok of actual, what's supposed to be video footage of what might be not dear. And you weren't particularly convinced by them. And we don't have any other photos. Yeah. Hey, you know, you can say what you want about getting your evidence from Reddit or TikTok, but at least usually on a lot of those platforms, you're being provided photos or videos, some kind of evidence to base your case off of, which is, you know, people romanticize the olden days and stories from the 1800s when really you're not getting anything. You're not getting photographs out of that. So to be able to even come to a case and have that much video evidence is very valuable and rare, even if it's all false and nonsense. But I still appreciate bringing that amount

of ammo to the investigation today. Absolutely. And I love bringing those kinds of videos into investigations. I can't wait until some of them actually show something that gets us a yes. But we hope and trust that if all these teens out there keep making videos,

they will eventually capture something truly paranormal on camera. Rory, we're beating around the bush, of course. In the case of not deer, do you think it's a yes or a no? Going to be a no from me, unfortunately, this week, Kit. I think a lot of the videos we saw are either sick deer, injured deer, or drunk deer. There's a lot of different types of deer out there, but none of these deer were another creature or another being or anything paranormal,

which is what we really needed to see if we were going to give this case a yes. I think that's completely fair to say. And even though we had great witness testimony, even those potentially could have been confused for exactly the reasons you just mentioned. So I think it's a no today. A double no on the case of not dear.

So thank you to everyone who suggested that one over the years. I know in recent times, Ethan Swain and Sarah McGilloway have both requested it. So thanks for writing in. And thank you, of course, to Amy Grisdale for researching this case.

And thank you to Louis Blatherwick for editing. Damn, it feels like so long since we've done a good cryptid case on this podcast, which, you know, people would think that we would do more of them, you know, because it's something that, you know, at least Kit really resonates with. Growing up, he was considered to be sort of like a creature, a monster that people didn't understand. Okay, good one.

A lot of people, including his parents, never even believed in him. So you'd think that we would do more of these stories. All right. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good one. To be fair, that's a good one. We used to call Kit our not friend.

Yeah. Because he was kind of always there, but it was kind of like, did you invite him? Did you invite him? We don't know how he got here. I know. He would sort of just show up. Shut the fuck up. Shut your fucking mouth. Yeah. know how he got here i know he would sort of just show up shut the f**k up shut your f**king mouth because i tried i tried to fit in it's just it's just a joke man we were just kidding i tried

just because i was too long just because the doctor said i was too long is that any reason for me to not have friends is any reason for me to be bullied is that any reason for me to not have friends? Is that any reason for me to be bullied? Is that any reason for my parents to not believe in me? For the record, it wasn't because you were too long. It's because you didn't shower. So it had nothing to do with your physical properties. You didn't shower and you didn't wear deodorant. So that's why no one wanted to be your friend. It wasn't because you were too long. You were actually pretty short. You were one of the shortest ones in the friend group. You were like three foot nine, weirdly, for years. It's just... It's not a secret, by secret by the way we told you you would be like hello buddies and we were like dude you f***ing stink you have to leave us alone and you would say too long for you huh that's that's why

that's why kind of you know so i i thought you knew i thought you knew uh you knew way we kind of called you the old friend why we avoided you and stuff because we made it pretty clear we weren't like trying to hide it or anything we said we've got you deodorant

for every secret Santa present you ever got I just thought it was like a joke I just thought it was like a what's the joke there? I just thought I thought we were

I didn't have friends how did I know what a joke was and joke wasn't I've seen movies I saw movies I knew that kids who had friends, they would tell jokes to each other.

And I thought you were just ragging on me because that was like a fun little in joke. No, we sat you down once with all of your loved ones and family members. It was a big intervention and said that you had to take a shower. You thought that was a joke? I thought it was a bit.

No. I thought it was a bit. I just, I was so lonely. No. I thought it was a bit. I just, I was so lonely. And if I had known, ugh. You're like, if I had known one shower could fix all that,

I probably still wouldn't have done it. Well, the end of this podcast has brought up some pretty unexpected and traumatic memories for me.

But I like to think that that ostracization and having no friends made me into the paranormal investigator I am today. Yeah, you know, and some people will say, Rory, you were the only one that couldn't shake him. That's why you guys do a paranormal podcast together. Some people say, maybe I smelt worse in high school. That's why me and Kit go together so well.

To all those people, I say, just back off, all right? Because we've actually both had it pretty hard. You know how you become a good paranormal investigator? When the normal world doesn't want you. A weird note to end the episode on, but I stand by it. When the normal world says you smell funny and you're weird and to leave them alone. Yeah, well, the joke's on you guys because I haven't been able to smell since I got COVID. So we're actually pretty happy over here.

Guys, I hope you have enjoyed this investigation into Not Dear. Bit of a wild cryptid case. But you know where there's many more cryptid cases for people to dive into? And I know we keep bigging it up, but there was a double yes cryptid case not that long ago over on patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life. Hell yeah, there's some great cases in there.

Some weirder ones that maybe aren't suitable for a main episode, but a great bonus episode. Recently, we just investigated Lobe, the world's first AI cryptid that was born in the minds of machines. And it's so f***ed up and weird that we had to hide it behind the shadows of Patreon. A hundred percent.

Sometimes there's stories like that that are just too brand spanking new that we can't ignore them, but they're maybe not meaty enough for a traditional investigation. So we do something a bit weirder and more off the wall over on patreon.com forward slash this part of my life. Also got after parties, behind the scenes,

weekly episodes of the show where you can hear about everything else we're up to. And at the end of episodes, we also shout out those who are on that tier of our Patreon. I think we should get in some right now. Let's do it. So special thank you to Dion. Well, if it isn't Dion, first name Celine.

Ooh. The queen of the Titanic herself. I think that was her role in that movie. So glad to have you on board. We haven't got many great Canadians here in the commune, so we could always do with more. I mean, you already have some experience with the Titanic, so another enormous disaster of a historical proportion,

like the commune, should be something you're already used to. Thanks also to Anthony Fraser. Anthony Fraser, the erasure. Any problem you have, Anthony can make it go away. Like the erasure at the end of a pencil. Any problem? Any person?

No, no, I see where this is going. Any law? Some kind of hitman type situation. I never said that. I never said that. But if you keep nagging me, maybe you'll meet Frazier, buddy. So keep it up. Thanks also to Brent Smith.

Brent Smith has a bent wrist. Much like the Not Deer, he's not human. Because when I say he has a bent wrist, I mean 720 degrees wrong. Just like his other wrist and his two feet

and his neck. So it's kind of he's a little odd. 720 degrees? I mean, that's just two full rotations. Is it's kind of, he's a little odd. 720 degrees? I mean, that's just two full rotations. Is it back where it started? So it kind of like looks normal,

but you can see it's been twisted pretty weird. Okay, I'll give you that. Still kind of weird. And thanks lastly, but not leastly, today,

to Lulu. Lulu, creator of not Lululemon exactly, but Lululem. Kind of a cheap knockoff Lulu, creator of, not Lulu Lemon exactly, but Lulu Lime. Kind of a cheap knockoff athleisure brand. They're the official outfitters of the commune. That's cool. So I know what you're all picturing.

You think we all look great in our yoga gear. Yeah. It's all made of burlap. Okay, so I don't think it's really like athletic wear. It's more just whatever the potatoes arrived in. Yeah, I thought it was athletic wear. I thought it was. And then we signed her up to be the official atelier of the commune.

Yikes. And then Lulu turned up with 10,000 burlap sacks. It'll have to do. Small, large, and medium. And to be honest with you, it's just a tag. They're all the same size. Lulu Lime is kind of a

one size fits all apparel but thank you hey thank you at least we have a uniform so thank you Lulu thank you to everyone else we've shouted out this week

we'll be back with more shout outs next week of course on Tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale but we'll be back before then on Friday over on Patreon

with the after party and some other point in the month with your bonus episode woo in the meantime have a fantastic spooky week

send us your submissions to thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com and remember to live fast investigate and die young baby