This Paranormal Life - #310 The Strange Metal Caldrons Buried in Death Valley

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

Here on This Paranormal Life, you know we LOVE a good UFO story. However, this week we're not looking up at the night sky, we're looking down. Down into the frozen wilderness of Siberia, where for hundreds of years, the locals have reported seeing huge metal caldrons slowly sinking into the swamps. What are these bizarre metal objects? Perhaps a caldron for some sort of GIANT WITCH? It's time for Rory and Kit to investigate.Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunitySupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeIntro music by www.purple-planet.comResearch by Amy GrisdaleEdited by Philip Shacklady Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If the government knows how much tax I owe, why don't they tell me? Can a fish drown in oxygen? All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Hello everyone and welcome to This Paranormal Life. Hello. The comedy paranormal podcast where every week we dissect a new paranormal tale and come to a conclusion at the end of the episode whether it is paranormal or it is baloney.

As always, I am joined by my co-investigator and lifelong friend, Kit Greer-Molvena. How are you doing today, Kit? Fantastic, Rory. Thank you for asking. That's right. Every week we dissect a case like a f***ing frog in a biology classroom yeah we slice it open put on stuck in the middle with you and kind of dance around a little bit before we get

to the slicing we're psychos we're serial killers we're we're crazy i think it's worth spending a little bit of time thinking about that opening question can a fish drown in oxygen humans drown in water because in that situation we are a fish out of water sorry no that was a bad example because we are definitely in water as a human not a fish but a fish out of water you know that is the phrase actually you know that there's oxygen in the in the in water and that's that's how they live don't they drink really fast and it gives them life not life but swim i know i've known you for long enough that I can see where this is going. Don't try it.

Don't try it. You can't do that. You're not a fish. If drowning is not being able to breathe in your current environment, then a fish out of water would technically be drowning in oxygen. I'm going to die on this hill. I mean, you joke, but we've said it here before on the podcast. We specialize in the paranormal ghosts

ghouls aliens cryptids let's be real for a second the shit that's in the ocean is much stranger than any paranormal creature way scarier it's the reverse sky that's hell down there everyone's like oh what what's out there in the universe look below mother there's some scary shit down there that we need to be investigating. Look, as much as I would love to talk about the ocean and all the creatures inside of it, Kit, we have a very, very big, important paranormal case that we need to investigate today. And let me tell you, I'm so jazzed up because I've told you about it and I've talked a little bit about it on Twitter and Instagram, but I'm currently watching the x files the popular tv

show the x files for the first time in my life until a month ago i had never even seen a single episode of the x files despite being a paranormal investigator for five plus years it is funny because you are getting into the x files i've been trying my whole life to forget the X-Files, because on the flip side, I watched it as a young boy aged six years old, far, far too young to be witnessing the X-Files, and I didn't know that it wasn't real. You thought it was a documentary.

You're like, why are we not all talking about this? I would see one episode about like a little goblin boy that's terrorizing a town and i wouldn't be able to sleep for three weeks so i i'm trying to get over that i'm going to therapy trying to kind of unpack a lot of those episodes by the end kit was an x-file they had to get doctors in to examine why he hadn't said a word in two months so i'm glad to see that you are engaging with it as a man in a bit more of a responsible manner. I got to say, in all of the five years you've been doing this podcast, I've never felt cooler being a paranormal investigator. They make our job look so cool.

I think we just need to start wearing suits. I think that's the problem. Well, they do a cool thing because people think paranormal investigator and they think tinfoil hat, mother's basement. Parents didn't believe in them as a child. Never made love to a woman. Never touched a woman. 30 plus years old.

Never been with a woman. Bad mustache. Bad mustache. Again, never had a romantic partner of any kind. Okay, let's keep it moving okay let's keep it moving socially sorry just um a weird weird shit like that that is so inaccurate and and penis doesn't work because of years of inactivity no one sorry if anything molder and scully were sex symbols so i don't know where this is coming from for why they think paranormal investigators would be virgins.

This is what I'm saying. That's the realistic version of it. Because that's what we're all like. None of that other stuff that I said before. Cut all that. Speak for yourself. Yeah, that was totally inaccurate. Especially the penis stuff, obviously. I know you said it, but let's cut it and the people won't know you said it. So what I'm saying is we need to channel some of that. These are guys who, even though they believe in the truth, they work with the FBI to expose the world of the paranormal. And I think we need to take some of that coolness into today's case,

a level-headedness, but also the passion of belief and be willing to accept the world of the paranormal as it's presented to us. Okay, I do think you're trying to kind of prepare me and code me for giving this case a yes i'm just saying no no you can't just it can't be another shag harbour where you just kind of try to ram it down my throat uh i don't know what you're talking about it's all right i'm just gonna need to see some some hardcore stuff all i'm gonna say is i think just in the spirit of the x files we say yes to the situation we say yes to the day we say yes

yes to the end of the case i don't even have the power to say yes yes i have one yes that i can give if you couldn't tell i'm subliminally trying to deliver a message yeah all right folks that's enough dilly-dallying let's get stuck into today's case but first let's have a quick word from today's sponsors and just a reminder you can get weekly episodes of This Paranormal Life ad-free over on patreon.com. Today's case is an email suggestion from James Nichols, who emailed thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com with their submission. They said, said in an early episode you asked for other eastern european mysteries so i thought i'd send through one of my bizarro faves the siberian valley of death oh wow that's got tpl written all over it right if my dick could work i'd have a boner after that sentence right we've got the

first bit we cut the first bit so that doesn't even make sense. That really seems out of pocket to the listener. You clearly want to talk about it. You clearly want everyone to know. I'm just saying there's got to be one doctor, one doctor in our listenership who can help. Important note, Russia actually has several places called the Valley of Death. But the one that we're interested in today is in Yakutia in Siberia and is much, much weirder than the others. Well, our story today begins in Russia in 1854 with a man named Richard Carl Mack. Now, Richard was a geographer and a scientist who had been working with the Russian Geographical Society to explore a region of Yakutia in Siberia, a place that strangely, even in 1854, hadn't been well documented.

R.K. Mack had heard rumors about what was out there, stories and legends passed down by the locals. But it wasn't until he arrived in person that he understood why this area of Siberia is commonly referred to as the Valley of Death. While he was officially sent out as part of a scientific expedition, the mission quickly changed when he discovered what was really out there. I understand you needing kind of the exact context for why someone might be called something but if i'm going to a place called the valley of death i'm going pre-loaded with a lot of assumptions about what might already be going on oh i thought you meant with guns that too brother i'm gonna be in john wick that expedition. I'm just saying it's a little weird if you're going there expecting a nature preserve for bunny rabbits. Yeah, as a scientist, I would probably have a few questions.

If I was like, okay, we're going on an expedition. This sounds cool. Do I need like, I don't know, a couple beakers and a ruler? I don't know what scientists need for expeditions. But if they're like, no, we're actually going to give you some prayer beads and this ancient vampire cross and some holy water. Some holy water. It's like, OK, well, where is this place? Valley of Death.

What is it? The valley, I said. It's the valley. What happens there is no one's business. We're hoping you can find out, you poor, poor son of a bitch. It's the Valley of Dayat. Dayat. Right. Dayat. the Valley of Dayat. Dayat. Right.

Dayat. The Valley of Death. Oh, yeah. Oh. I guess you... You could read it like that if you wanted to, yeah. Captain's Log, October 3rd, 1853. Only two days into our journey.

Human contact out here is infrequent and brief only a handful of hunters and nomads roam this land his team of men trailed behind him what interest would the rgs have with a location like this you don't know this is where they are buried all right Right. At this point, I'm stopping walking. I'm not setting a foot further until I know what's going on. I'm not setting a foot until I get a bit more context. Who are they? How did they die? Why are they buried?

Yeah, RKMac is like, why'd you stop walking? Did you tell them about the things? I told you not to tell anyone about the things till we're at the things. It seems like some of the people in this expedition party maybe have a bit of insight as to why they're going to this location. Yeah, this is very clearly standard kind of almost military style. Everything is on a need-to-know basis. Kind of how we run things in the commune i will

say look all i'm gonna say is buried is a very loaded term all right trees are buried technically no they're not most of them is above ground plants and flowers are buried no they're planted completely different buried means completely submerged permanently under the earth ideally six feet or more. The mission dragged on day after day with little to see until the party rounded a river bend and spotted something strange between the thick vegetation. R.K. Mack and his team pushed through the barren trees and soon enough, before their very eyes, stood one of the objects that they had heard about in their stories. A bizarre looking, huge metallic dome that was half sunk into the ground. The locals called them the cauldrons because of their hard metal shell and seemingly hollow interior. In his journal, R.K. Mack wrote of several of

these objects scattered across the valley. All right, I see where this case is going, Rory. We have a band of witches somewhere nearby. Giant witches. They have abandoned their cauldrons. I will say, usually when we hear cauldron, we jump straight to witch. But I think this is a case of locals having to describe something otherworldly

using their own terms. Okay, interesting use of the word otherworldly. I'm going to need a bit more of an explanation as to what these things look like, I think. Well, I can give you a pretty good explanation, Kit, because the descriptions in this account are very specific. Okay. They were smooth and round,

unlike anything any of the men had seen before. And they were big, 30 feet in diameter. According to reports from multiple records, not just R.K. Mack, the vegetation surrounding each cauldron was completely different from what was growing in the surrounding areas. Some accounts talked about seeing plants that weren't local to the region or branches on trees that were long and twisted. Interesting. So what you're saying that these cauldrons, for the sake of argument,

that they're having some kind of annihilation style effect on the natural world around them. Exactly. Their immediate surroundings, the vegetation, the grass, the trees, is all different from the forest surrounding it. I actually have an illustration here done by one person who has seen the cauldrons of what these things look like in the wild. Okay, this is great because I guess back then we didn't necessarily have ready access to cameras. So this is probably as good as we're going to get. A hand-drawn illustration. I will say it does paint a good picture. Jeez. Okay, this is a good picture. I'll give it to them. It's quite artistic. We've got a black and white

illustration of imagine a giant chestnut mushroom on its side, the size of a f***ing plane. It's a UFO. We were dancing around it a lot and I just want to jump to the chase. It's a UFO. It's not a UFO. It's absolutely

not a UFO and you are jumping. You's a UFO. It's not a UFO. It's a straight up dome. It's absolutely not a UFO. And you are jumping. You are jumping ahead. Because it's a slightly curved object sticking out of the ground. I have no idea what this thing is. Yeah, but I just think calling it a f***ing acorn is doing it a disservice. Calling it an oddly shaped peanut in the middle of a forest is not describing the gravitas of the situation here. This is Independence Day. The mothership sunk into a swampland. peanut in the middle of a forest is not describing the gravitas of the situation here right it's this is independence day the mothership sunk into a swampland sorry i am getting too fired up here

i've just been watching a lot of x files and i need you to believe i need myself to believe where you're going to meet me halfway here we've had the regulators breathing down our fucking necks saying that we need to be a bit more like the bbc and be unbiased so if you ever you show me something i need because we got we got 10 12 13 pending lawsuits breathing on our neck of shit we said that was paranormal which isn't of course yeah we throw it around a lot so i'm sorry today i'm just gonna need to be devil's avocado that i'm just gonna have to be you know just batten me back i'm just gonna need to yeah hey i'll be molder you be scully you know this can be a fun dynamic you say one thing i'll kill you i'll kill you scully you son of a bitch they didn't do this in the show they were actually

pretty friendly well i'll tell you what it doesn't look like a cauldron no it looks nothing like a cauldron look but that's because okay we're gonna get onto it a little bit later in the story but it's because these things have been around for a while they've been around for so long that the people that first saw them and gave them names as i said were naming them after things that they knew about on earth and you did explain that this is 19th century rural russia yeah the only smooth metallic thing they've ever seen is a f***ing spoon they don't have a frame of reference beyond a cauldron a spoon things like that so so fair enough if a caveman saw a ufo he would think that's the biggest f***ing berry i've ever seen in my life like that's it that's a floating rock that's crazy that's insane because that's all he knows

what we're talking about today kit is known as the metal cauldrons of death valley okay so they are cauldrons they are cauldrons of course they could be anything forget it just it's just what the times people called it forget it as soon as you can so we're talking about the metal cauldrons uh look before we dive into the cauldrons themselves f***ing hell let's talk about this part of the world and possibly why more people haven't visited this site or heard of these objects before. Because it's f***ing Siberia. I don't know how much you need to explain. But if you're the location in Siberia that's known as the Valley of Death, that's how you know it's f***ed up. Right.

Yeah. It's kind of like Furnace Creek inside Death Valley. It's like, so you're the bad place inside the bad place? This is as bad as it gets. It's going to so you're the bad place inside the bad place? This is as bad as it gets. It's gonna be so bad. This location, Yakutia, is described as being impenetrable. Okay. It's a huge, sprawling wilderness of swampland and vicious weather conditions

so strong that the region even has layers of permafrost. Very few people have explored this region, even to this day, but there are few who have. Mostly, the locals, known as the Yakut people, who refer to the region as Oyuyu-Kirkecek, the Valley of Death.

But over the years, the location has also earned a few other names from the locals, including Ogudak River, Place with with a cauldron or the kelju which translates to the iron house okay wow yeah i like the one ogudak river that's like when the gentrifiers come in to the to the valley of death in siberia and start making a few airbnbs and they're like oh it's not the property is actually located kind of it is bordering the Valley of Death in Siberia and start making a few Airbnbs. And they're like, oh, it's not. The property is actually located kind of, it is bordering the Valley of Death, I would say,

but it's actually, you know, Gudak River is a pretty up and coming, a little area. You've got a couple, I wouldn't say there's cafes. There's kind of like a river where you can drink the water, which is sometimes clean.

Isn't this kind of crazy that whatever these things are, they've been around so long that when the locals were naming parts of this land yeah they were a part of the actual process i mean you have that a lot of the times when you look at even locations in america uh out in the west it'll be like here's a town called little rock yeah because right where we stand there used to be a little rock. And over in the Valley of Death, they're like, this is the Iron House because there's a big cauldron that you can kind of chill underneath if the storm gets really bad. Yeah.

So it really calls to mind the million dollar question here, which is how long have these f***ers been here? And this specific part of Siberia is so dangerous that the locals say even beasts do not go there. What do they mean? Animals? I feel like we're sexing up the language a little bit. That's their choice of words, not mine. I didn't choose to do that. But do beasts refuse to go there because of the Martian swampland? Or is it because of what lies there in the earth? The iron houses, the metal cauldrons, these impossibly huge metallic objects that have been around for so long that places on the map are named after them? I don't know, man. It might be because you said it was completely inhospitable permafrost. Yeah. Where nothing lives. It's pretty cold. Now that we know a little bit

about the Valley of Death, it's time to talk about the f***ing 30-foot metal elephant in the room. Right. Because that elephant came from another planet. No, we don't know that. And I just, sorry, the regulators are breathing down my neck and I just don't want us to get on the wrong side of them. Listen, Scully, you've got to believe. You've got to open yourself up to the possibility.

My name is Kit. You've been watching too much X-Files. I know I look a little bit like Gillian Anderson, but I'm not actually Scully. Did I tell you I've met Scully, by the way? What? When? Whenever I worked at the Tate Modern. Gillian, or Scully, as I called her

before she put me in a headlock for doing that. Of course, yeah. She was a regular. She was a regular. She was a member at the tape does she live in london uh yeah i i mean you know she scully scully probably keeps a pad everywhere oh yeah she she lives on planet gorgon and sometimes comes to earth i honestly think uh scully is like she's a lady about time like she um i seem to remember i might have this wrong but

i think whenever my friend was managing an escape room in london i think she even went there a bunch of times she's at that stage she's just like doing shit having fun having a great time looking great and so i think the full extent of my conversation with her was she said hey you uh where is this exhibit on i said uh the third floor and she was like thanks have a good day and i was like have a good day i like to think you're like have a good day um are they real are they real jillian you're being like held back by security jillian the security start ushering her away then she turns just as she's about to get inside the the lift and she just turns and winks and i go yeah yeah you have a little shushy emotion or something like

that uh that's cool i like to think um i know that it's a crime to impersonate uh an officer or any kind of federal agent i like to think she could get away with it i'm just so glad i thought i was gonna have to uh tell you that she's not actually uh an agent of the fbi well not now though but she was obviously when she did the show right they both were because that's how they got so much clearance no no i mean the fbi they might have like said it was the show was cool to like do its thing and and use the word fbi but no they were just actors just paid actors and then how did they but how did they then get into like the pentagon and shit i just i'm struggling to understand i don't think they ever were i think

they're probably in a i I just watched a couple episodes where they got some pretty good access. They just filmed it in Hollywood, I think. Studio 51 or something? Is that a paranormal place? No, it's probably owned by Warner Brothers or some shit like that. Is the Fluke Man real?

I watched an episode on the Jersey Devil and it was pretty convincing. There was also an episode where Bigfoot had boobs. Yeah, that was the one that sent me to therapy uh that's the one that really i can't mentally go there i'm not there yet because i had heard so much about the x-files uh but i'd never seen it before i had seen this picture so much on the internet right which is molder the protagonist of the x-files studying a photo studying a drawing of basically bigfoot with tits and they're honkers

they are comedically yeah they're huge i'm just saying i've presented better evidence on this podcast before we're getting off topic though let's dive back into our story of course as we said while the best documented accounts of the cauldron did come from R.K. Mack in 1854, they're not the only first-hand encounters. Other travelers got a lot closer and suffered the consequences. In Russia, 1933, 10-year-old Mikhail Koretsky and his father were out panning for gold in the Siberian wilderness with a local Yakut guide. Pretty ballsy place to go for gold. I guess your odds are hitting some kind of jackpot just because

it probably hasn't been searched a lot, you know? Not a lot of people want to go to the Valley of Death for gold. You ain't finding gold in St. Petersburg town square, put it that way. Yeah. It's combed over. Exactly. Where are go treasure island it's been looted it's gone everyone knew there was treasure there it was in the name you got to go to like mud town rockville right a boring little place where it's like there couldn't possibly be any gold here and then the man smiles and he's got like six golden teeth and you're like all right you little f**ker i think you're hiding some serious gold the story behind little rock nothing here but a little rock I think you're hiding some serious gold. This is the story behind Little Rock.

Nothing here but a little rock. Made of diamonds. The trio slashed their way through the wild undergrowth, trying to find an untouched area to begin their panning. When they stumbled across something strange that was sunken into the ground. The object was smooth and round, and only half of its dome-like shape protruded from the marsh we don't have to beat around the bush i think we all know what is sticking out of the ground and and let's not try

and dress it up that it's like what could it be because two seconds ago you said this thing is nothing if not a giant spacecraft a star destroyer i call it as I see it, all right? Look, I know I'm a paranormal investigator and maybe I'm a little bit biased, but when I see a giant ancient metal dome that's crash-landed, let's face it, crash-landed into the earth. We don't know that it's crash-landed. We have absolutely no idea that it's crash-landed.

I'm calling it a UFO. Mikhail's dad tapped the side of the object with the blade of his knife, trying to determine what type of metal it was. But it wasn't any material that the men recognized. I love the idea of this giant 50 foot wide dome sticking out, humming, vibrating, radiation leaking off of it. Intricate ancient Egyptian style hieroglyphs on the outside.

He's like, dunk dunk, it ain't gold so f**k it. Hey, let's try this river. egyptian style hieroglyphs on the outside he's like dunk dunk it ain't gold so f**k it yeah hey let's try this river i mean as you said rory uh i mean mikhail here he's a 10 year old boy so as far as he can he's concerned this is some kind of metallic coco puff that is his only frame of reference that's the biggest beyblade i've ever seen yeah that pog is huge the mighty morphin power rangers sure are morphing into some weird shit these days in fact when they hit the side of the object with a hammer it didn't even leave a scratch just like the other stories mentioned the group noticed strange vegetation surrounding the craft

the nearby trees had bizarrely long branches and unfamiliar grass shot up high above their heads. It's also worth noting, you did joke about this, Kit, but in the brutal low temperatures of the Siberian wilderness, the metal object seemed to almost be radiating heat. All right, you got to walk away. Because if it's making the branches of trees go loop-de-loop, what's it doing to your DNA? Your bones. Your eyes aren't going to work anymore

in about 30 to 45 minutes. If any type of object is ever making the ominous run, just back away. Yeah. Just back away. I've microwaved enough burritos to know when things are getting pretty radioactive. Yeah, because spoiler alert,

like Rory's Amy's frozen burrito, you're about to be cold on the inside and roasting on the outside. I love the idea of Mikhail's dad walking up to this big dome and he's like, yeah, there's definitely something strange going on. And Mikhail's like, it's like, why? What do you see? Nothing. I'm blind. Definitely something f***ed up. I can't see anything. And that wasn't the only time Mikhail encountered these cauldrons. He returned years later with a new group in 1947, alongside a Yakut guide.

It took days of expedition, but eventually the objects came into view again. However, in the years that he'd been gone, the objects had sunken further into the earth. This time, instead of staying away like his father and the local guide told him to, Mikhail and his friends huddled together under the ridge of the cauldron and explored every side of it. Yeah, that tracks.

I think if you're a kid, any kind of young person, you're curious. You're going to want to figure out what's going on. When you're 10 years old and your dad says, hey, don't smoke. Stay away from cigarettes. They're bad for you. You're like, daddy is smart. I'm going to want to figure out what's going on. Yeah. When you're 10 years old and your dad says, hey, don't smoke. Stay away from cigarettes. They're bad for you. You're like, daddy is smart. I'm going to do what he says.

Right. He's bigger than me as well. So he could beat me up if I disobeyed him. You shouldn't. But then you hit like 14, 15 years old and you're exploring every corner of that cigarette. You're smoking it. You're licking it. You're eating them.

You're doing whatever you want with them. Putting them in your ears, whatever. Because you know that it's forbidden and that's what makes it sexy yeah despite the frigid winter conditions the underbelly of the dome was surprisingly warm oh god so i was joking earlier stay away mikhail so warm and sheltered that mikhail and his friends decided to spend the night camping underneath the warm glow of the object. Oh my god. And while nothing strange happened that night, the true horror followed in the coming months.

What happened to these poor sons of bitches? Find out after a quick word from today's sponsors. Hmm. Three months after their trip to the Valley of Death, Mikhail noticed three little sores on the side of his head. They cropped up suddenly and were itchy and difficult to ignore. He could feel them when he laid down at night, and they were in the exact spot that his head had been resting against the cauldron floor. Oh, you're not feeling so good after your little trip to the Valley of Death?

Oh, that's really funny. Could this just be a side effect of what happens when human skin comes in contact with space metal? No, I think that again, I'm going to have to remind you, the S word is loaded. I just don't want us to be coming across as biased. But it's radioactive right

it's not it's not because it's space metal it's there's some physical property we don't know enough about space metal at this point i think as humans okay so why did you say it why did you say it then i gotta shut down these insane claims you're doing on the podcast um yes it's it if it is hypothetically no one said it except me and kit at one point if this is some sort of craft or object from another world uh maybe it's it's material get up is so foreign that even touching it has negative effects on the human body so if you're sleeping under that motherfucker like a big metal blanket guess what the bed bugs did bite and those bugs are called cremulons and their bites kill your soul they control your brain nah i think you're kind of like one of those

caterpillars whose brain is controlled by a parasite well this is what we were afraid of though is someone getting up and close with an object like this and suffering some pretty bad side effects we've seen and heard of it before in cases like the cash landrum ufo case and many other ufo cases where people who had close encounters suffered some health complications whether uh their hair was falling out yeah complications a fun little word for uh devastating health outcomes right alien stds essentially alien crabs called creulons. That's what a Cremulon is. And speaking about hair falling out, in the following months since their visit, 15-year-old Nikolai lost all of his hair and it never grew back as long as he lived. Just as Mikhail's spots never healed either.

I know some people do suffer with hair loss as they age. 15 years old is pretty early to get that process started. For male pattern baldness, yeah. I don't know if even hymns could have saved him in that case. Over the years, multiple explorers, scientists, geologists, and locals discovered more than seven of these large cauldrons scattered all over the valley. And there's a huge number of records of people coming across these things, dating back so far that, as I said, a lot of the locations on the map in this region are called things like Iron House, River by the Cauldron, Metal Sinkhole, Alien House, Metal House Alien Sinkhole by the River.

hole alien house metal house alien sink hole by the river it really sounds like you're listing a run of show for a saturday night at the camden underworld right we got metal cauldron up first at 9 p.m followed by cauldron by the river and then the iron house and believe it or not the bizarre stories don't stop there there's even other accounts from travelers who claim, bear with me now because I don't want to lose you here, so just hold on a little bit. They claim that when they found the cauldrons, they were still mostly above the earth to the point where they could actually access the insides via small opening chambers. See, I was wondering when you kept mentioning metal iron house metal house yeah i was like okay i get that it's a big structure but that might make more sense if you're saying you can go inside it yeah i think um i think this next kind of part of the story what we're going to understand is there's a lot of theories that these things weren't always

so far sunk into the ground at one point possibly when they were being called the iron houses they were very much above the ground and a lot more accessible and over the years the the state people have found them in especially in the 1850s 1900s they are very much more submerged into the permafrost via through global warming any types of just marshland eventualities for whatever reason they are now almost entirely submerged don't go inside absolutely i just we rarely do just a health psa yeah but if we have any listeners in the siberian area or the Valley of Death area, do not. This is giving me Junji Ito style nightmares. Oh, the hole? Yeah.

I'm still going to go inside, though. I think I will, even for a peek. I could just see plane tickets, Ryanair plane tickets, peeking out of Rory's back pocket. Look, if you're in the North Pole, wandering around the North Pole, 12 years old, and you think you see a little elf boy running behind a hill this has never happened why would a 12 year old be at the north pole and he

runs into he runs into a little crack in the wall that looks pretty scary you go into the crack because there's a chance there's a chance you will find santa's workshop and you'll find out in that moment whether santa is real or not he might kill you because no child can know the truth so but you will know i understand that moment i understand this is my comparison there is no good that can come i understand the concept of trying to get to santa's workshop every child's dream of course yeah 12 is a little old but uh but there is nothing good that can come from being in the siberian permafrost and seeing a humming radioactive hole it santa's workshop in inside there is no presents there's no cookies there's no little gingerbread latte what i'm saying is my ufo my belief in the the aliens and the paranormal

yeah is now my santa claus okay it's something people tell me doesn't exist but i know it does and and if finding out it's real means yeah stick in my head and what is essentially a microwave oven sometimes you have to do it and you'll either see it or maybe you'll get loopy enough that you'll think you see it yeah you said those children almost died so don't don't go inside one of them just lost their hair all right and i do already wear baseball hats i think i could pull it off this is me being like i've brought like a whole collection of beanies with me it's like i'm gonna lose my hair but it's worth it if i get to see an alien. I stick my head inside. My eyes explode. It's like, oh, f***.

They just pop like water balloons. It's like, I didn't pack one pair of sunglasses. I just have 10 pairs of hats. Who is this weird guy who doesn't feel pain? God damn it. God damn it. My eyes pop. The noises around me as well.

They're like, I'm like, is it aliens are you aliens i can't see anymore and i just want to know according to these travelers there was a small staircase that led down into another floor of the cauldron that had now sunken below the earth inside was an array of metal rooms with glossy smooth reddish metallic walls each room was barren and strangely empty uh i actually do have an illustration from the accounts of people who claim that they did go down into the cauldrons kit here is a picture of what this looks like now that i actually see it in the cold light of day, I think that's where the Teletubbies live. I'm not joking.

That is literally, it's the grassy mounds and you go downstairs into the f***ing... That's Tinky Winky. That's Tinky Winky right there. This is a screenshot of series two of the teletubbies do we know where they came from space up possibly we don't know i am laughing because it's a it's a cross-section of the earth where you can see the dome which is above the grass yeah and then the rest of the spaceship which is the iceberg underneath the water as if the person who

went inside has any idea of what the thing***ing thing looks like underneath the earth. There's a bit of extrapolating going on here. Yeah, this is kind of a theory based illustration. It's looking, I will say, a lot like, yes, the Teletubbies halls of residence or Kanye and Kim Kardashian's house. If you've ever seen that completely bare marble everything. Ashien's house, if you've ever seen that, completely bare, marble, everything. Yeah. But I think that the interesting, cool thing here is when you get to see the whole picture of what is below the surface, you realize that, at least in this case, the theory is that the dome or the mound or the piece of metal that people are seeing above the ground is merely a

corner, a sliver of the craft that's buried below and if one did sink in a fashion where the opening chamber was still exposed you can still go into these things and explore the rooms below it's pretty interesting anything else anything else to add because that's kind of my big reveal you gotta understand gotta understand it's uh it's a lot to take in i did say bear with me i know i knew this one was going to be be a big case so so these are these are gone to be fair to be clear these are gone are they kid so these are underneath are they they're inaccessible and underneath the earth you just asked a really good question because i know that we said a lot of these stories are coming from locals or explorers back in the

18 1900s and if we want some real believable evidence which i know you love bud and i want to give it to you all right but don't make it sound like don't make it sound like it's like i have this weird thing where i like if you insist i have this thing for like evidence it's kind of like why are you so into it it's like evidence it's kind of like why are you so into it it's like no that's kind of the basis of if you really really need it and I guess I can give you some but it's like I've already given you two pretty good pieces already you've shown me an MS paint drawing of the Teletubbies lair that's what you've shown me that little hoover is is eating tubby custard right now I can see it new Nunu or whatever the f*** his name is.

We need to investigate that, dude. Look, you need more contemporary evidence. And luckily, Kit, I can give it to you. In the early 1990s, this case caught the attention of UFO researcher Ivan Mackerel, known for his investigations into the Loch Ness Monster and the Mongolian Death Worm, two incredibly serious paranormal cases that we've investigated on this podcast before. Both resulted, I believe, in double no's.

Well, he's a skeptic, now you know. He's knocked these off the list. He said, no, no, it's time to figure out whether these metal cauldrons are real. Yeah. He and his team of scientists traveled to the Valley of Death to try and locate these strange metal objects. And I have documentary footage of their investigation

and their discovery. But what could explain such a toxic reaction? And where might the dangerous cauldrons have come from? Can we stop the video for a second? how come every paranormal documentary we barely started how come the voiceover guy he always talks like this right yeah so close to the microphone and incredibly animated and he's always asking questions it'll be like but what did they see that night what were they expecting to see where did they come from what should i have for lunch how did i get here it's just lots and lots of questions and it's like he just seems kind of he seems like he's just been put in the booth

and he's like what is going on right uh and he on? And there's always like a little sprinkle of humor, you know, like. David went birdwatching, but he would see much more in the sky than just birds. Yeah, yeah. Can like jazz it up a little bit. He saw a gray and he turned white. Oh, yeah. Something fun like that. I do like that.

I like to imagine he talks like this in his daily life. Sandra, you had the kids last weekend. It's my turn. Yeah. You know, kind of. Trying to negotiate his own life. Please, baby. I'm sorry.

Come back. She meant nothing to me. I swear. She, like, slams the door. And what would he do next? He promised he wouldn't drink again, but temptation was never stronger. This is the reason we broke up.

This is the reason. You need to stop this. Yeah, you're going to have to look past that this is the voice of the man who's narrating it. I can, I'm a professional. In search of answers, UFO researcher Ivan Makarov and a team of scientists traveled to the Valley of Death to try and locate the strange metal objects. I didn't know if it was just a legend or if it was real.

So I wanted, first of all, to find this place and investigate it to make up my own opinion. Using a motor-assisted parachute to search the expansive valley, the researchers eventually spotted an odd circular pattern in a marshland. Fair f***ing play. Fair play. So I just want to point out they said ivan mackerel and a team of

researchers and then the camera pans around to just a dad squad of just middle-aged dudes paddling a f***ing canoe full-blown i don't know if any of them are scientists of any accreditation whatsoever but i will hand it to him he's uh he's really I mean, Siberia is a big place, I gather. Yeah. By all accounts. So he strapped himself to a ceiling fan and a parachute and he's 200 feet up in the air. It's insane. More than that, actually.

And he's able to see the whole wilderness. Yeah. They're not just trekking around on the ground trying to see if they can come across a cauldron. This motherfucking dad squad is airborne yeah they are bat squads they are flying about in the sky at it looks like a couple hundred feet getting a aerial view over this forest looking for as we know circular patches where possibly the vegetation is different from the surrounding areas. The researchers eventually spotted an odd circular pattern in a marshland. When the team explored on foot, they found the ground under the

strange marsh area to be very unusual. It sounded metallic and hollow. So we thought that we found the sunken... All right, stop staring at me as they say things then we found another place like it and even a third that had higher magnetic variations yeah i'm watching the video and rory is just boring a hole in the side of my f**king skull with his stairs trying to get me to react to the video so they've found circles of irregular vegetation multiple times pushed around in the swamp land they're in a swamp and they found a swampy bit

of swampy water he's he's he's got a stick and he's like smacking the bottom of of this swampy little puddle and he's like it sounds hollow how do you know you're you're slapping a puddle did you not hear what he just said there was some sort of strange bizarre uptick in magnetic pressures or some scientific bullshit it's so hard to concentrate with you staring at me saying hmm i'm gonna say folks this isn't even it's not even like oh oh the trees here uh have circular leaves and the ones over here are a little bit more brown it is desolate it looks like someone scorched the earth in these patches it is pure like burnt marshland creating a perfect circle in the middle of the woods we haven't seen anything yet we

haven't seen anything yet it's a it's iting swamp. Look at it. It's a swamp. Like, I guess the swamp is circular. I guess that's cool. Currently. Hey, I'm on board. I just... It doesn't sound like it. But I'm starting to worry with the degree to which you're defending this portion that this might be all we're getting.

No, there's plenty more. Okay. There's plenty more. The video still has a few bits to go. Hold on. All seem like evidence of cauldrons sunken into the earth. But before they could explore the site any further, members of the exploration suddenly began to complain of strange,

even bizarre symptoms, similar to those described in local legends. I felt very dizzy all of a sudden. Lost my balance, threw up, and had a fever. And I didn't know why. I could not walk. I was losing sight. I could not drink or swallow. And the pupils in my eyes were dilating fast. So I thought maybe I got some poisoning.

When I came home, I had a thorough checkup, and the doctors couldn't find any reason for my illness. Pretty crazy stuff, huh? That is kind of interesting that he had an upset tummy. There's a little bit more than that. Nausea, sickness. I think he was going blind at one point. The doctor did say there was nothing wrong with him. I think he was going blind at one point.

The doctor did say there was nothing wrong with him. Yeah, that is the only bit that even I find a little suspicious is like, if it was radiation poisoning, doctors would be able to know what that is. The only leap I had a problem with there was, I think he smacked the bottom of this puddle with a stick and said, yes, clearly evidence of metal cauldrons sunken underneath the swamp land is like is it really i guess if if if there's a popular theory that there are these metal objects that created these patterns in the earth that were there that have sunken down and you go to the woods find patches where the vegetation is different find marsh marshland, and everywhere else,

your stick is going into the earth. And then you go to the heart of the marshland and go straight down, and it's like, gong. That's a pretty good illustration that's like, okay. Which it definitely didn't,

because it was underwater. I don't even know how the sound would possibly travel through the water of the marsh. Just saying that that is evidence, slight evidence, could be evidence, of something down there below the marsh. Just saying that that is evidence, slight evidence, could be evidence of something down there

below the earth. Sure. I think it looks cool from up in the sky. And it was kind of interesting that there was, that sure, that there seems to be

a number of locations which matches the urban legend. We've seen a lot of paranormal hunting expeditions do a lot less. That's all I'll say. Even in the world where, of the paranormal, we're talking about ghosts. I've seen just a person show up, close their eyes and say, yeah, I feel it. And that's apparently paranormal evidence.

So if an old man is going airborne like the f***ing dude from Up, then I'm happy to say that he's at least done a pretty successful expedition. Yeah, he looked cool. He had kind of braces holding up his trousers. He had a bit of an Indiana Jones vibe. Unfortunately, as you can see, recent expeditions and investigations into this really aren't going to give us any more solid answers

because it seems like whatever these objects were, if they did exist, they're properly below the ground now. They've fully sunken into the earth. Like whatever these objects were, if they did exist, they're properly below the ground now. They've fully sunken into the earth. So what I think we need to do is we need to go back in time and look at the origins and the legends around them to see if there's any hints to what they are back in the old stories. Hmm. Well, the interesting take here comes from the Yakutia people who obviously have allegedly been living alongside these things for hundreds and hundreds of years. According to their legends, these metal cauldrons

are actually weapons. The stories say that there was an epic battle in history where fireballs were shooting up from the earth. It ended in a massive explosion that caused huge devastation to the forest. And when the dust settled, the locals found these vertical metal structures on the surface that over years have slowly sunk into the permafrost. Jesus Christ. So we're really going here from something,

something, who knows what, might have crash landed to there was a Star Destroyer battle. There was a dogfight. Luke Skywalker himself was outrunning TIE fighters and then they crash landed. Or these objects, whatever they are, are essentially sentry guns placed on Earth to shoot asteroids and alien ships out of the sky. And this is weirdly, again, a big part of the local legend here. There's other stories that say that this location is the dwelling of a fiery giant who destroys everything around him. Other stories say that roughly every six or seven centuries a giant fireball bursts out from holes in the earth and fly off into space and explode there's this is

like a reoccurring theme in a lot of stories and legends that combined with the tales of metal cauldrons placed all over the land and hey look i know that this idea of an enormous fireball exploding in the sky does seem silly but longtime listeners of tpl might remember a case that we investigated in the past one of our old x files which was episode 40 the tunguska blast, which was, for those who don't know, the world's largest ever recorded explosion in human history. It was a meteorite, right? That was one of the popular theories, although I think even as recently as the last few years, that's been disproven because of the remnants of the rocks that were around it. uh for context this was an event that did happen people literally were alive to witness it and when i say that this was the world's largest explosion

the specifics are that it was the size of 185 atomic bombs going off at once yeah so that is essentially 185 hiroshimas in one moment if you're a scientist and you're disproving that it's an asteroid you need to come up with a different solution bud because you can't just say it's not one thing and then someone goes oh that's fascinating so what it was it oh that's your job bud i'm just here to knock it down yeah yeah i know what you mean so like what do you mean. What do you mean? Like, what do they think it was now? No one knows.

I mean, God damn it. How do we not know the biggest explosion in history? And we don't know. That seems insane. I don't accept that. I think maybe the theory is that it could have been an asteroid, but every remnant of it was destroyed. Are you saying we don't know what it was because you're about to loop it into into it's the same thing could it oh god damn it could it could have been some sort of

asteroid at one point i'm gonna google this shit because that was gonna hit the earth but maybe the metal cauldron sentry turrets popped up and blasted that sucker out of the sky jesus christ i should have known i should have known we don't know i'm just here to to ask some questions you know could it be why the ancient cauldrons blasted this object out of the sky why do you why do i think that if i google it google is just gonna tell me it was a fucking asteroid but if i ask rory right here now he's like nah bro i think they don't i think i think they disprove that one. Oh, why do I have a feeling if I ask the government what happened,

they're going to say, mind your own business. I don't know, Ken, because maybe they don't want you to know the truth. They don't want you to know. I don't know how much the Tunguska event. That there are ancient aliens living in the earth. I don't know how much the Tunguska event is like on the priority of like cover ups for the government. I think they've got enough to cover up with, I don't know how much the tonguska event is like on the priority of like cover-ups for the government i think they've got enough to cover up with i don't know the iraq war and so on i don't know how much they go back in time to historical events that's because it's one of the rare

paranormal events that kind of took care of itself the event was the cover-up which was it exploded uh that kind of solved their problem for it they were like if only roswell could blow up the same way tonguska did it would make our jobs a lot easier uh it was a great episode really cool and strange to hear some of the stories from people who were alive when this thing happened lots of stories of people dropping to their knees and praying to whatever god they believed in because they thought it was the end of days like the entire horizon being set ablaze in every direction this explosion was so large well look let me let me play scully for a second

which is to say you know i will say it's not terribly unique the idea of uh ancient people or a semi kind of modern people having a kind of a story between ancient egyptians or these people in siberia of you know this legends of the sky lighting up of stuff raining down because let's face it we have throughout history there's going to have been meteor showers asteroids solar events that are on a scale that we can't even imagine today happening through history even you know i remember hearing a cool fact i've probably said on the pod before if you look at uh the famous the scream painting by munch uh you know it's kind of famous for being this kind of like wacky surreal abstract kind of yeah where the entire sky is all strange colors i

remember hearing that it's like no uh those colors in the sky were actually um completely accurate there was a volcano that erupted um somewhere in the world and the entire sky all over earth basically went red for like a year and it's like people are gonna have some pretty interesting legends and theories about what went on when it was actually pretty describable and of this earth. I'm not saying that describes everything, but it's pretty interesting that we are seeing something similar here, which is like a legend of something which granted does sound a bit more paranormal. But these kind of indescribable events being described by ancient peoples who might not have had modern scientific vocabulary for them yeah and if a part of your culture is these stories of gods and giants and fireballs then that's like when the the tonguska explosion happens you're

like oh that was a big one the the fire god must be really pissed today and it's like that was probably a meteorite but the way it's worded and the way these stories are continued is through their own lenses yeah that's what being a historian was back then there was a big explosion you were like huh that was a big one let me write it down in the history books sky god three the devil one i'm just keeping score making sure that future historians know what was going on back here. It must've been funny in olden days. If you're just kind of like doing your daily routines, taking your kids to school, cooking breakfast, and all of a sudden a volcano erupts, kills like a hundred thousand people. And you're like, all right, what was everyone doing? What was everyone doing when that thing went off? I was cooking beans. Is that,

should I stop cooking beans now? I think, is that maybe we'd stay away from that what were you doing you were kissing you were kissing a woman is she your wife no don't do that anymore marry them that was probably it that was the one yeah we got to figure out what pissed it off and then uh by process of elimination you know someone will just be like hey i kissed a girl yesterday wasn't married nothing happened it's like okay that one's fine put it on take it off the list that's okay it's like process of elimination they had to figure it out the only problem is when you get like some dude is just like i had sex with a chicken and nothing happened it's like that's still bad that's saying on the list that's saying for completely different reasons don't touch my

chicken i think we should punish you. We don't need a god to do that. That's our job. Yeah, I'm a little disappointed that God didn't strike you down because we could all decide that's not good. We need a new god. We need to pick a new god. Whoever God we're praying to, we should be keeping an eye on this shit.

Yeah, he was on a lunch break or something when you did that because there's no way that's not breaking a rule. All right, Kit, that takes us to the end of today's story. There's a lot of questions flying around, going as far as, do these exist? To, are they ancient sentry turrets set up to defend the Earth against possible meteorites or alien invasions that pop up every now and again where there's a threat and then sink back into the permafrost to be undiscovered for centuries yeah i will say that last uh story was a curveball because i think you kind of teed me up the whole episode saying that they crashed that they were flying they crashed that's my personal theory well i guess if they did come from another planet they would have had to at some point maybe not crash but come down from the stars but you are right

you're you're painting the right picture here which is we've got two main questions are they real and if they're real are they paranormal yeah exactly and you know the evidence is i'd say for ufo cases the evidence in today's story is pretty much as strong as it can get outside of someone snapping a picture of this thing midair i mean the fact that we have evidence of it being there for a long time because as we said it's been such a even a legend in the origins of this land that portions of the map are named after these objects but we also have uh sightings and expeditions spanning hundreds of years going back as frequently as the last 30 years where investigators up for debate whether or not they got any real tangible evidence. But it's safe to say they definitely didn't just come up empty handed.

There were some things they came across that could be used in either side of the argument. I wouldn't say it's as good as it gets i wouldn't i might not go that far well i know it's i know you're saying that because obviously shag harbor kind of like set the bar for just everything paranormal cases evidence testimonies humor hosting is that crazy kind of mediocrity uh if anything um listen i agree on the front of if it's that prevalent in local legend if there's that many stories, there was something. There was something at some point. Yeah.

But it's also frustrating if, oh, they were there, buddy. Oh, they were there. They were tiring. They were giant. You could get inside them. You could get inside them. Sure. And then right around the invention of the camera, oh, they're gone, buddy.

Oh, they're sunk. They're gone. Oh, no, they're they're gone oh no they're long gone they're under and they're pretty they're pretty down there so we can't even dig them up this kind of reminds me of the i mean we've had this before in cases it reminds me of that uh high brazil case where it's like an island that was on maps for generations people talked about going there people talked about seeing. You can look at it on old ancient maps. And then nowadays it's like, it's, it doesn't exist. It's gone. You can argue that over time, for whatever reason, it's sunk underwater. There's a lot of different explanations. We're kind of seeing a similar thing here where it's like, Hey, there's all these legends and stories and tales about these things. We can't find them anymore anymore but it seems like it may they might

have been there at some point and they were pretty prominent yeah that is an interesting comparison because that was a double yes i actually yeah i think now i think about it high browser was yeah double yes i think we both said i don't think it was i think i think it was really i don't remember i think we did say it was real which is worrying because that story involved a lot of wizards. There was no evidence whatsoever. I think I got carried away and I said it was a, yeah. At some point we played the Pirates of the Caribbean music

and that always riles me up. I must have been drunk. I must have been drunk. But you got to know that this is hard. This is hard. Is it? Is it? Because even if we know there's something down there how do we know uh

what it is i i guess because for me if you tell me people go to this place and they get sick even if we could just pin that down even then it would be like well there's a lot of just radioactive waste it's like by the way all the all the radioactive material in the world has to get buried and it gets buried in the middle of nowhere. And if you go near it, you'll get sick. Especially in a country like the former Soviet Union, where they weren't telling anyone anything. And they tried to deliberately cover up a lot of shit. Yeah, radioactive materials, UFOs, cauldrons,

ancient alien sentry turrets. Maybe, maybe. But I suppose the idea here is that if they really were there they predate any human technology of that kind oh yeah i mean yeah with the the dates where these areas were being named would be so far before humans possessed any kind of this technology and as i said we're talking about a place that's described as impenetrable. Even if you were dumping radioactive material, you're not getting a truck a thousand miles close to this location. It is so out there. They would sink in the swamp, the rivers.

They wouldn't make it through the trees. These are huge metal things that have no explanation how they got there, if they did get there. I mean, don't get me wrong. how they got there if they did get there i mean i don't get me wrong the last thing i will say is uh i do love i do absolutely love this concept of like if we're if we are putting on our tinfoil hats and we're we're being molder here and we're saying that ufos have been visiting earth for a long time if we're saying that they've ever landed if we're ever saying that they've crash landed it's reasonable to assume that that would have been throughout history at times

that are not, you know, 1995 and landing in front of the White House. Yeah, but that they may have landed in places that are more remote. Earth is a big place. If they had landed in Siberia

or in the Sahara Desert, or if they landed in Western China, mountainous Western China, these are all places where they would go unnoticed or undiscovered for substantially longer than anywhere else. This is the case we beg for that a UFO didn't just show up in a butt f**k nowhere, Southern America. Yeah. This is what we, want is, yeah, a much more believable, plausible case where granted the most extreme part of this story is claiming that someone went inside and it was had a bunch of rooms and you could walk around it. But I mean, at its core, if it's like, hey, we think there's something kind of radioactive and kind of up buried in the wilderness that's been there for a really long time. I don't think that's a huge story to tell. And that's why this week for me, it's going to be a yes. It's going to be a yes. Look, I'm not saying that this is, I'm not saying that it's some super hyper intelligent technology that can blow s*** out of the sky. I'm just saying because of how

long this thing's been around and the place names and that this thing's been a out of the sky. I'm just saying, because of how long this thing's been around and the place names and this thing's been a part of the folklore there and there is kind of some modern evidence, I think something paranormal could be happening in those woods. For f*** sake, I'm giving it a yes. Yes!

Yeah. Yes! This is the most reluctant yes of my life. That's right. It's so annoying. I love UFOs, bro. I love UFOs so much. Apparently not, because I have to fight you tooth and nail to get a yes across the board

any time. I hate this. Any time. I hate this. You heard it right here, folks. That is a double yes. And that is the first step in ending the Civil War, which is brother and brother coming together, talking about UFOs and shaking hands at the end of it

and there is but there is still a bloody a bloody discourse uh about a wound that can probably never be healed but it is the first step towards ending that war you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna i'm gonna do something wild at the the end of this this podcast because it's a ufo story and we did just give it a yes uh kit will you reach behind and grab me that giant alien crystal skull we've been recently buying stuff for the studio and one of the things that we bought was a bottle of vodka that comes in an enormous glass jar shaped like a green alien's head and this is vodka that is distilled through a five billion year old meteorite oh is that the idea yeah this is it i don't know what it's called outer space vodka or something like that because it's a double yes and it's a ufo case i'm gonna have a little

sip it is not even lunchtime yet but i think i'm i'm doing the celebration if you're watching any of the videos that we've been uploading to youtube and socials you'll be able to see this drink it is absolutely wild looking and i think it's the perfect way to celebrate a little double yes here on the podcast mamma mia so we're pouring these into some beautiful crystal customized etched this Paranormal Life tumblers. These beautiful glasses. And there's a decanter with it, too. Shout out to Jack DeLaPlaine.

He sent these probably last year at this point. And we've been waiting a long time for our new studio to be ready so that we could set it up and use these as the uh in-house glassware so how cool to be enjoying that thank you to jack dealer playing for for sending those through cheers brother cheers brother to a uh double yes in the new tpl headquarters yeah that's pretty good stuff that's actually not. You can really taste the five billion year old meteorite. That's not bad at all, is it? Tastes like victory. Thank you, James. Oh, it's got a little 200 year old century alien fireball

kick to it at the end there, doesn't it? Jesus Christ. In the outro of this episode, my vision went blurry. My legs stopped working. I felt nauseous. The doctor couldn't tell me what was wrong with me. The doctor said he'd had too many coronas,

but Rory refused to listen. Thank you once again to James Nichols who submitted that investigation. A great case for us to look into. If you have your own story you want us to investigate, whether one that you're interested in or one that's happened to you, send us email at this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com as i said we are now filming the show so on twitter instagram facebook youtube everywhere

we're uploading clips weekly from the show so uh go ahead and check that out if you're a fan of the podcast and maybe some of your favorite moments will be immortalized in video form. And of course, if you want more TPL than just your weekly episodes, the place to go is Patreon.com. This is where you can get amazing rewards like bonus episodes every month, weekly episodes called the After Party, which is all the behind the scenes and so many more cool rewards and merchandises and ad free episodes you should definitely check it out because there's some amazing stuff you can get over there as i said one of the coolest things you can get is our monthly bonus episodes where we dive into let's call it what it is the real x files of this paranormal life the cases that are so classified and straight up sexy

that we have to paywall them just so the government can't hear about them. It's kind of a strange little side effect of kind of the Freedom of Information Act. You know, we were just making episodes of this paranormal life and archiving them because some of them were too f***ed up and true for the public to hear them.

But our own listeners found out and submitted Freedom of Information Act. So we were forced, public to hear them. But our own listeners found out and submitted Freedom of Information Act. So we were forced, forced to release them. And that's where that Too Hot for TV stuff goes on Patreon. Last month, our bonus episode was on a cryptid known as the Devil Monkey. Yeah. A real serious, hard hitting paranormal case. To give you a little taste of what that episode was like, here's a short clip from the episode. Nice. This is what I'm saying. In the official police report, official in quotation marks, obviously, they said that the animal recovered on the site was the body of a

small breed of dog, about 10 inches tall. Are you seeing these these pictures we have a human next to this thing for scale this thing is enormous it looks like a big dead hairy cow okay but this might also be the first time in this paranormal life history where i think i'm on the police side why are the police trying to cover up devil monkeys i love the idea of this just like hardworking, honest policeman interacting with the uppermost echelons of the Illuminati. There's like, hello? Forget what you saw. All right, man.

I need to f***ing move it off the road though because it's like in the way and this lady needs to claim her insurance. Forget what you saw. Don't touch it. I don't know what you want me to do. Moving forward, this will be the quarantine zone. 20,000 troops will be on the location tomorrow. Do not breathe a word of what you saw.

It's like, all right, well, we've actually got the county fair setting up on Sunday. So they're actually, they're going to need to set up the barn over here. Is that going to be a problem? F**k, really? All right, they can have the corner of the field but the quarantine zone is where the beast lies the guy's really overly friendly oh hell you 20 000 you said geez i think we're gonna need to make some more lemonade i don't think we'll have enough but we'll sure do our best we will be there at 0800 hours oh you going to want to come early if you want to see the pumpkin measuring contest.

Last year, there was one the size of a football. Listen to me, you little shit. In Area 51, we have pumpkins the size of which you've never seen. Fuck, I've said too much. He's getting really competitive. I've seen a pumpkin the size of New York City. Why are you telling me this? What is confidential and what isn't?

You know, until you kind of brought that up, I don't really know why the police would try to cover up that this is a devil monkey. Not entirely sure. I think maybe I got carried away with kind of the flow of how these things usually go. That it feels like any cryptid should be worthy of covering up,

but this one really isn't. It really isn't. That was a good one. That one was a good one. Wow. As I said, you can get access to that episode and I think 63 more now on Patreon.com. There's a huge catalog over there that you can get access to for just five bucks a month. So go ahead and check it out.

It's one of the best ways you can support the show. And as we always say, one of the other great rewards you can get on Patreon.com is a shout out, your very own shout out at the end of the show. And as we always say, one of the other great rewards you can get on patreon.com is a shout out, your very own shout out at the end of the episode. And that's what we're going to do right now. So special thank you to alcoholic Trex. Trex, if you're an alcoholic, you're going to want to filter some of that shit through a 4 billion, 5 billion year old meteorite, even if it's just like a Bud Light or a cores right i think it would still you'll get a nice spacey kick from putting it through a big space rock because i was gonna say like if you're an alcoholic maybe get help maybe reach out

aa is a great framework 12-step program sure uh for getting you know getting a handle on your life and but you're saying put it through a rock first that'll help that might help the hangovers or something yeah thanks also to om shukla om shukla can i cook you something yeah i just got this new cauldron and i really think it's it's it's uh i'm really gonna perfect my irish stew recipe it heats itself it heats itself which is pretty cool it's good for the energy bills i will say have you always wanted to be bald? Everything's got an aftertaste, though, I would say. So be prepared for that.

Thank you also to Martin Poles. Martin, we're going to need those poles. Because from what I've heard, those cauldrons are buried pretty damn deep. So we're going to have to start slamming them in every puddle we can find to see if we can track it down. And because this week's episode was a double yes we know that they're really out there so let's start hunting brother thanks also to thomas reed thomas i'm gonna hold up a piece of paper here can you just see can you read read out

these letters that are in front of you uh-huh a uh-huh l zero seven yeah that was entirely wrong yeah this mother has been too close to the cauldron he can't see a damn thing so Thomas that was 0% 0 out of 100 there I guess the scary thing is is can he not read because his eyes are bad or is his brain melted now is it spaghetti

it's hard to know isn't it okay Thomas get back here we've got some more tests it's like Thomas can you read this and he's like I sure can and he does like a roly poly, it's like, Thomas, can you read this? And he's like, I sure can. And he does like a roly poly and it's like, all right, he,

he needs to go see a doctor. Thanks lastly, but not leastly today to Jason Goss. Jason Goss, that's actually a nickname is because Jason's a great person to go to for all the best

paranormal Goss. Like, like, like, ooh, like, did you hear like that investigator that went to go see the metal cauldrons

and he like died? Like, that's crazy. Oh, that's's kind of dark i thought it'd be a little bit more light-hearted like guess who has a crush on the donkey lady oh you're never gonna get it no you're saying a man died you're saying a dude died it's more like jason is like yeah did you like you know did you know a person's getting sentenced to life because they they they thought they were hunting Chupacabra, but it was just a guy. That's not even paranormal. That's just murder. It sounds like that doesn't seem like that should be gossip.

That should be a, someone should tell the police. I guess it's not gossip. It's just goss rhymes with what his last name actually is. Thank you so much to everyone who supports us on Patreon. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. Damn. It's always a pleasure when we get a double

yes and this was a fantastic case to give it to kind of reminded me of a little bit of the metal library another old tpl case totally agree which is a favorite a long time favorite a favorite and one with a lot of solid fantastic evidence so lots more of those cases to come please keep your submissions coming and of course we will be back next week with another paranormal tale. In the meantime, always remember to live fast,

investigate, and die young, baby!